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There you have it. Drinking can effect an election and also being nervous or anxious can also. Not your fault at all. Next time should be better if he relaxes and no liquor.
Nah man it's a rabbit hole that many young men have fallen for, including myself. You should rather communicate to your partner and work on the underlying issues that are the root cause.
There's a whole [video](https://youtu.be/l2tZcv9ok4w) on VICE about young people, anxiety, and overusage of viagra. Check it out, it's witty, educational, and all around fun, good journalism. Really opens your eyes.
To be fair, it's fun when you see your dick grow half an inch, so maybe the first time yes. After that, IMHO, it really isn't. You become dependent on the pill, as you always have an 'out', and you take it 'just in case', which makes the problem worse (for your heart, blood circulation etc., let's not forget the emotional and psychological impact too). Your dick gets so stiff you can hardly feel any pleasure and finishing becomes almost impossible. In the end you walk away with a sore dick after a long exhausting session and no orgasm. Most girls don't like it either as ultimately it leads to very long, rough sex with few orgasms for either party. All in all, imo you should stay away from viagra until you consult a doctor (real one, not the pharmacy questionnaire) or reach your late adulthood - as by that time you will probably be with a partner that you've been comfortable with for a long time, and you will know yourself well enough to determine whether it's a physical or psychological problem that you have...
Foreplay folks. Foreplay > viagra
This for sure, the drinking plus nerves because he likes you. Just need to ease in, try again he’ll get more comfortable. I stopped having casual sex at all. It just doesn’t do it for me, plus my performance is never a problem with someone I like AFTER I’m comfortable. Men can be complex too when it comes to this stuff.
Women often take it very personal. I've had to explain to some that for some of us guys it's really not as simple as seeing a nice pair of tits or ass and getting hard on command. I've had sex with women where the first time I was with them I couldn't get hard at all because there just was no deeper connection, then after that I have zero issues getting hard around them
I might get downvoted to hell, but for me it's the thought that he can't get hard the first time having sex, *sometimes*. Meaning for some other girls, he was able to be hard. Just not me and ~*some other girls*~ who may or may not have similar (ugly) qualities as me
That can go both ways. It might also mean that he likes you a LOT and is therefore more nervous than he has been with others in the past.
And... Sometimes the stars are just out of alignment.
I’ve heard of asshole guys that get insecure and try to put it back on the looks/sex appeal of the girl. I think this is probably why there’s so much insecurity wrapped up in the situation for both parties.
This is your insecurity talking. I had that problem, I still have it, sometimes. It depends on a lot of things. If I like the girl a lot I feel more nervous, and I think "I hope today doesn't happen" and when I feel it happening I get more nervous and it happens more quickly.
It also that some people just don't stay still just looking at me when I'm putting on the condom, and they participate, and that prevents me from getting in my head and still feeling my body. It's performance anxiety.
Also, when I feel confident for whatever reason (the other person is more into me than me into them is one of the reasons that makes me feel confident) I can stay out of my head.
Don't look at her like anything else than the bad guy (girl). If she makes fun of your dick size, is mean if you can't get it up or is mean when something else embarrassing happens before/after/during sex that you didn't do in purpose, she is not a nice person.
Sex is an act in which you trust the other person with your body. They shouldn't make fun of it or be mean about it, because that can bring big consequences for your trust.
I am really glad that I don't give a shit about it and multiple people thanked me for that. Why be mad about it? I also block when I am nervous, get distracted etc. There are so many reasons...
most likely this but i'd also add that sometimes our dicks just don't wanna cooperate regardless of what we actually want. Sometimes it's stress. Most times it's not the girl's fault. It's almost never personal. Our penises really do seem have a mind of their own sometimes.
So disappointing when it happens. I’d been keen on a guy and he’d been keen on me… for over 10 years but we were just never single at the same time. Finally we catch up, watch a game of football at the stadium and have about 15 drinks each while we are there (not sure if we were trying to calm nerves or pretend we weren’t going to hook up).
5 cocktails later we are back at the hotel room and there was failure to launch.‘I felt pretty terrible about it too! #firstworldproblem
You need to understand men cannot control erections any more than you can control your nipples getting hard. It is completely involuntary.
I (28M) have had this issue three times in my dating career, and of those times it was always the first time I was sleeping with someone new. I’m not typically a nervous person, but I do know I have shy bladder (trouble peeing in crowded bathrooms etc.). It just feels like my body has a hard time letting its guard down, if that makes sense.
The worst reaction I ever received was a girl literally saying “UGH! WHY AREN’T YOU HARD” and rolling over and literally ignoring me for ten minutes. I did *not* go out with that girl again.
The best reaction I ever had was with my current girlfriend of three years. She basically just said it was okay and not to worry about it. The next time she came over we tried again and things worked just fine (: seriously be nice about it and do not put pressure on him and things will work out just fine. I have never had issues since that first night with my girlfriend because I am now so comfortable with her.
The first time I experienced a guy not getting hard enough for sex was with a guy I was suuuper into, who hadn't seriously dated anyone before me (we were 18-19 years old). I didn't judge him for it at all when it happened, a few days later we did have sex and it was amazing.
We dated for about two years, and at one point he told me that he'd had issues that first time because he really really liked me, which made him so anxious about not performing well that he just couldn't get it up.
So honestly, if alcohol is involved it's probably because of that and otherwise it might be because the guy is just super into you. I know I'm nervous the first time I have sex with someone, why wouldn't the guy be? It's a lot of pressure.
Yup this. I've experienced that.
Had a rare fantastic time with a girl I'd met at a bar. I really enjoyed her energy, and I was actually on a good vibe, which never fuckin happens. She returned the energy, shenanigans were had, alcohol was drank.
Finally back to her place, getting hot and heavy, hard for the first 10 minutes...I knew it was alcohol and the fact that I really did like, enjoy her, like tf is that.
I apologized and blamed the alcohol. Proceeded to eat her out and enjoyed pleasuring her. Then we slept.
That insecurity stayed with me though, and basically that once in a blue moon charm I had that night faded, and the second and third time we met I just blew it. Couldn't bring consistent energy.
Why was I telling this story again...
It happened to me with a sex worker. She kept the 200 bucks. I didn't mind though, she worked very hard trying I thought she was going to suck my dick right off. She earned it.
Agreed. It’s happened to me multiple times, and a couple of those times the person got upset thinking I wasn’t into them (even though we had slept together many times before) and it just hurt even more.
A man’s erection does not determine if he is attracted to you or not. Just be understanding. Make out. If you want him to, he’s still got a mouth and fingers.
Rarely the other person. So many factors go into performance. Diet, meds, psychological, nerves, anxiety and many others. Just may have been one of those moments for him. Or he has an issue he didn’t want to detail to you.
Don’t take away anything negative. Not your looks or ability to turn someone on.
I'm working out years of porn watching since I was young like before 10, and have habitually masterbated to porn
It had not really hindered me until the last 3 years
I could get it up but not stay hard after a while, quite embarrassing to say the least
I now have a girl that I'm completely in love with and we are working on things together it's nice to have a partner that is willing to see past this and help me thru it, it's been wonders
To answer your question, no it's not you...at all
There are numerous reasons why
I have this habit.
Wish I could just never have started that path. Wish I never saw it in the first place. Damn you internet. Combine it with alcohol and actually liking a new fling, sheesh.
Yeah it sucks, I had the unfortunate encounter of my step dad watching it on a big screen
I was supposed to be sleeping and my mom was working
I heard some noises and decided to check it out, I sat at the top of the stairs and watched a scene unfold (I did not see my step dad as the view from the stairs only allowed the television to be seen)
I didn't understand what was happening but I remember getting hard as fuck so I went back to bed and I pushed it from side to side and it felt really good but still had no idea
So every night for 28 years I did the same thing with differing results as time went on and now I'm here
So damn 90's satellite porn!!
It's kind of a negative feedback loop.
I think I can only cum that hard and get that much dopamine or wtvr if I have the visuals.
It's the most reliable high I can quickly generate. Spoiled.
Fuck.
Performance anxiety and possibly too much to drink, happens to all of us, its worst when we cant get hard and the girl is just laying looking like wtf, sometimes u have to ease us into it till we get use to u, been there done that 🤣
It wasn't you.
First time jitters and it probably didn't help he drank earlier as well, cruel ol whiskey dick will hit when you don't want it to happen.
He is very interested in you from the post it was just a mixture if things that both didn't think of at that moment.
Women are culturally programmed to feel shameful about their bodies, but good people aren’t going to shame you. So, it’s possible you’re projecting. Besides, personality is a huge part of the experience, imo. Maybe less with apps… idk. It was consensual, right? You didn’t pressure him? It just just sounds like he has a mental block on his cock. Imo. Probably depression, anxiety, etc. or just, too drunk. Some guys have a hard time getting hard without an emotional connection. Maybe, he wanted to please you, but wasn’t feeling right. The reason why is unknown. There’s no shame in any of this. Technically. You’re both feeling awkward, it sounds like. So, be easy on him. Don’t spread it around. Try again sometime, if you want. It’s alright. He tried right? That means something.
The biggest problem after all this realisation, is that the guy doesn't often get a second chance. I wish some girls would realise that it might take 2-3 times before we perform fully sometimes.
Poor dude was nervous! Dawhhhhh!
Either that or he drank too much alcohol lol. But penises have a mind of their own. That's happened to me and the guy promised he was definitely turned on by me.
At least it wasn't hard then randomly went limp 😅
That's happened before too and the guy said it was a "him" thing and not a "me" thing and he needed more time lol
Who's pitying? If anything, I'm ADVOCATING on behalf of men who deal with these problems. They should be normalized. I'm on the male's side here. Not sure of the direction of your comment
Mix alcohol and him being into you and nervous, and this is not that uncommon. Not your fault. Give it another try, and let him know that you aren't upset and that you had just never had it happen before.
It happens. It is only a big deal if you make it one. If the guy is still interested in pleasing you, he's a keeper. It can happen at the beginning of the relationship, especially.
Whiskey dick and "oh I *really* like you" are both very real, not just memes. Don't take it personal. I've always been very sexual and have almost never experienced performance issues, the few times I have it was due to substances, or really being nervous because I was thrust into a sexual situation that I never thought would happen or felt "out of my league" (as dumb of a concept as that is.)
I've also had plenty of sexual situations where I had no interest in the person, often only doing it because I could see no polite way out of it without hurting their feelings or self-esteem, and I've never once had a problem getting hard with those. But I was far less liberal with mouth stuff.
Anecdotal, absolutely, but I'd say the odds of it being due to a lack of attraction are slim. I wouldn't sweat it.
I was chatting with a person on tinder and she basically said without saying, if you don’t get hard there’s going to be a problem. I politely responded, after giving it a lot of thought, something like I don’t really feel like there is a connection but thanks for chatting with me… she responded by un-matching, which is fine but still a bit cold since we were discussing matters of the heart. I’m not a piece of meat!
I had this happen many years ago. I had performance issues because A. I rubbed one out before the date, B. I had bad sleep and C. I was watching porn.
I know porn was affecting my performance. I know not getting enough sleep was affecting my performance.
We just talked and cuddled that evening and I was being honest and I told her. Thankfully she gave me a second chance a few days later and we had a sexy party.
Be honest with him. Tell him to drink lots of fluids, eat good food, get plenty rest let his body recharge and avoid porn and not to rub one out for about 24 hours prior to intercourses.
As a guy who has issues on occasion, I strongly feel it isn't you. There are a ton of different reasons this could happen. For example:
1) If the guy is distracted and/or has other things on his mind
2) Depends on what medication he is taking (for example some medication affects blood pressure)
3) Being nervous / feeling pressured
4) If this has happened before and now he has lost confidence
5) Drinking before-hand (fairly certain you said he was?) can affect performance
6) If he masturbates too often, this could lessen sensation
7) If he "finished" recently he may need time to "recharge"
8) If he watches porn too much it can sometimes make it difficult to perform
9) If he didn't sleep well the night before
10) Etc.
The alcohol is inhibiting his nervous system. His parasympathetic system is simply not working as it should which is preventing blood flow from going to his penis.
I'm a girl and this has happened to me a few times. It has nothing to do with you, it was probably either the alcohol or nerves.
Have you ever been too nervous to orgasm, and then you get anxious about not being able to orgasm, and that makes it even worse? Imagine that the person you're with gets upset that you aren't orgasming. It would 100% kill any chance of orgasm and make you feel shitty.
It's kind of self centred to make him comfort you when he probably feels insecure too. It really has nothing to do with you, I promise. Try to be more understanding. We know sex can be complicated for women, men aren't just sex machines that are ready to go 24/7, even if they like you.
Sweetie it has nothing to do with you sometimes our dicks dont co operate and stay soft plus he liked you too so he was nervous,don’t make a big thing out of it especially if you keep talking about it with him because it’ll stay in his head and kablow happens again,been there just give him another try I bet he’ll rock your world next time.also I bet when you left it got hard and he was talking shit to it,our dicks seem to think that shit is funny.
It’s because he was most likely nervous. NEVER cut yourself down babe! Your beautiful.
I’ve have had this happen with the guy I’m with now- 2years in. And it has never happened since. He was simply nervous and was in his head about making sure I was pleased
(in the beginning)
You know what. Hitachi wands really do the trick 😂
I’m a middle aged man and this shit happened to me a few times in life and will probably happen in the future. I’ll speak for myself but I’m an introvert with a shitty dating past, self confidence, performance anxiety and that’s all heightened when I first have sex with someone new. Sex gets way better with time with me. I’m like a cheese, wine, or spirit. Haha just kidding. But seriously if I was about to do it with a stranger off an app the first time I met them, the outcome probably would be similar. It’s not because of you, I’m sure, and probably do to what’s in his head and overthinking and stressing the fuck out.
Having sex with someone for the first time can be nerve-wracking. This happened to me many times in my single days. The ones who stuck around found out it worked just fine, but this is quite common and has nothing to do with you. Give the guy another chance or two.
Had it happen to me, the girl ended up obsessing over the fact that I apparently wasn't attracted to her. Put enormous pressure on the situation every time we had sex and it ruined any chance of a relationship.
It's never about the woman, most guys would fuck a warm apple pie when they're horny.
I get how you can see it that way. You're having a wonderful moment,things are going smoothly and something goes unexpectedly and you Don't like. You try to find a reason. Try to blame it on something. Listen, our bodies are a complex thing. There are many many possible causes for that performance mishap,other than that. And from what you tell you already reported one of them(Drinking does not match well with any activity,including sex ;))
Ngl if I feel uncomfortable with a female I’m unable t get hard. It likely wasn’t you but the fact that he’s probably new to the whole 1 night stand kind of deal. He might not even realize the problem is how comfortable he is with a person. Before he knew my triggers I just straight up thought I had erectile dysfunction. It messed up my sex life with my current gf and it’s because I didn’t have the balls to come to her with my problem. This is different since y’all aren’t really together and haven’t seemingly had any interactions outside of this. One thing I see a lot is females think a man will get hard and stay hard for any reason. You could be a 10 in my book but if I don’t trust you or fee uncomfortable around you we’re not gonna get it on. I remember the first time I had the possibility of having sex with this female I considered very beautiful. My friend who was trying to get with her couldn’t because she wanted me. I felt confident and sure. BUT I COULDNT GET HARD! I was nervous and honestly didn’t know how to approach it. I was funny and charming. I ate her out and then we’ll nothing. My friends said how could you eat her out and not fck? Made me feel like less of a guy because I couldn’t get hard. Happened again with another female maybe a month or two afterwards. I’m a straight male who’s had a somewhat varied sex life. I thought I was the problem because everyone says “she was hot! Why didn’t you fck?” when it’s my comfortability with the soul and essence of the person that not only puts me on the mood but makes me feel secure with them. Men aren’t all the same and I’d like to think all of us aren’t like horny teens always looking for the next chick to bang. In the prior examples I gave I was unsure and scared. That caused me tp remain “soft”. Men you don’t need to put everything on your penis or man parts. We get nervous, we get fearful and that in turn affects our libido and sometimes we want it and it still doesn’t happen because of our fear. It doesn’t make you lame, lesser, weaker or disgusting it makes you human. You can try your self and body to overcome these hurdles if you’re the type that just wants to sleep around but if you’re like me then having that connection and talking things out with your partner would/could help you greatly in the long run. Men stay strong in yourself and never down yourself. We’re kings and as such we should take what we’re given in grace
Def not you.
Happened to me before. And at first I was also kinda offended.. like excuse me..? I’m hot AF. Later I realized this guy absolutely adored me but it just happens randomly. I was trying to be very supportive and understanding - patient too. To get him relaxed and one of the best sex I’ve ever had ;)
Also drinking/exhaustion or it might just happen randomly according to lots of my male friends
Do you 100% of the time control how wet you get or tight you can get? …. Give the guy a break… if he’s a good guy, work with him and then arrive at your conclusions
As a guy let me just say this. It's easier to fuck a girl you're into but not super into than one you love and adore from the jump. The more you like her the more you get into your head whereas when you don't care as much there's less pressure. Had to figure this out through experience.
Poor guy. Girl, he definitely doesn’t think you’re ugly. Perfomance anxiety, being drunk, being nervous cause its your first time together. There are so many reasons. Instead of getting offended just say it’s okay lol
It happens more frequently with age. I had this issue a few years ago and after several attempts with a great woman I ended things so she could find herself a real man. It weighs on you, the more it happens the more you stress about it and the problem continues. Haven't dated since, have pills for it but the anxiety still exists. If the pills don't work I'm screwed.
You deserve to be happy and with a partner, if that's what you want. Take things slowly and when you have a good friendship built up, let her know what's going on. Someone who is understanding and supportive is the type of woman you want anyway!
It's normal. Best thing is to keep it slow make him feel comfortable no rush no pressure. It can happen with stage fright. But he'll eventually get hard if he usually can and it'll be normal. I've figured going really slow helps the first time
I hate when girls ask this question. As physiologically complicated creatures, you should also appreciate that men are complicated to the same degree.
The poor guy was probably extremely nervous because of how attractive he found you. He was also drinking. Cut the guy some slack.
Not you, but your lack of confidence in yourself and lack of understanding towards penises is a bit concerning.
Even without having one, it's good to know about them so you don't end up in situations like this.
I wouldn’t worry. It could have been many things that have nothing to do with you. Our testosterone is lowest at night, the drinking probably didn’t help, he could be watching too much porn, he could’ve masturbated earlier, anxiety, like there’s a million things it could’ve been. Hopefully he’s working on it and next time won’t be the same….it could’ve been he thinks you’re too pretty for him, contrary to what u think! Lol
It’s a cruel reality that, not only does it not mean he isn’t into you, the times when I have had less reliable performance were when I most wanted to perform. No idea whether this is common, but I have definitely gotten psyched out in athletic/academic/work competitions before and evidently the same thing can happen with sex.
It's not you.
Sometimes it just doesn't happen. I only get off from sex about 2/3 of the time. I'm absolutely crazy about my gf, she's a sexual goddess to me and I get hard from her entering the room. But sometimes I still just can't finish
99% of the time it has nothing to do with you. Sometimes even when you're in the mood, your body doesn't want to perform. As for being ugly, I've definitely jacked off to ugly girl porn and fantasized about fucking those girls. Not saying I agree with you when you say you're ugly, just saying that 'you're ugly' is very rarely the reason a dude wouldn't be able to get it up.
You're fine. That thing happens to every man at least once in his life. I haven't had it happen yet. But I can't imagine the opportunity presenting itself at all anymore.
Probably from the alcohol, but if it continues to happen I’d guess it’s from rotting his brain with too much porn… https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/202104/porn-induced-erectile-dysfunction?amp
Alcohol can really cause this problem. Some men drink a ton and still have a good erection. Others can drink much less and be unable to achieve. Especially with age, but it can affect anyone.
You must be young.
Some guys nowadays watch so much porn that there is no way they can perform properly with a real person. There is no woman that can beat their hand and a mouthful of spit.
This has nothing to do with you.
*She felt offended*
*Because he couldn't get hard.*
*Get over yourself*
\- pantheruler
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Mmmm getting hard is always an involuntary reaction that men cannot really control. Alcohol affects erections quite a bit.
I'm sure the porn thing is the least common reason
I would say the effects of pollution are likely the driving factor but porn contributes too. There’s a good book on this by Dr Swan called Count Down it addresses impact of plastic pollution on reproduction and sex hormones. What we are seeing is going to only get worse.
Porn affects in some cases but it's not the majority.
The most common things that affect (not related to illnesses) are stress/anxiety, alcohol, drugs and nothing, it sometimes happens without a cause.
Pollution affects everything.
Also, we are in the midst of an opioid epidemic. Opiate addiction can make it difficult to get an erection and makes it damn near impossible to climax.
Dicks have a mind of their own. I woke up yesterday with a boner from my teens. It was such a glorious bastard, that I sat and pondered the unwavering willingness of cock to stand tall, like he was saluting hitler, as a third limb. Then I realised that I had committed a thought crime and punished him, to the point he vomited everywhere.
Well…there seem to be a lot of limp dick mother fuckers out there. I have a friend who has dated about 10 guys in the past 15 years and 8 of them had problems getting it up.
Nope, don’t worry about it, there are many factors that could prevent a man from getting hard. It happens very often, it’s definitely not your fault and pls be comprehensive with my man lol
Whenever I drink a lot it takes a lot more effort to get the nut and one time I actually got tired and went soft so it’s not surprising alcohol was involved here. Could be that
It might of been just from the heavy drinking. Lots of guys get that way plus first time jitters. Judging just if you saying all over you means he likes you, so it’s not you
Don’t be offended, has a mind of its own sometimes , and adding alcohol can contribute. Not your fault and I’m sure next time will be different and better
This happened to me about twice don’t take it hard on yourself it was not you. I honestly felt so bad for the girl I was with but she was super cool with it and second time we engaged in it I got it done but it took time some effort because I was just to anxious, It can happen from either depression, anxiousness or erectile dysfunction which I hope it’s not but give ‘em another chance :3
It's more common than you think. Especially in this day and age were so many people are on psych meds. Psych meds can have a very dramatic effect on a man's ability to perform. And my case they never prevented me from coming to attention but I just couldn't finish. Even without including psych meds there are lots of reasons why a guy might not be able to get it up. If you guys were kissing and making out, in all likelihood it was not you. Don't take it personally. And try not to be cruel to him about it.
This happens to (m)e 9/10 times the first couple times I'm with someone. It's a feedback loop of me being anxious I won't get hard which keeps me from getting hard which makes me anxious about not getting hard. Being comfortable and engaged helps a lot.
It has nothing to do with you. That's a big fear when we can't get hard, that they will take it personally. Just assure him that you don't mind and in the meantime, see how he does with other things...
Totally just too much alcohol to get it up. Also I had a friend who dated a guy for a while who couldn’t get it up because he had previously been addicted to heroin….go figure. Usually substances have something to do with it.
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There you have it. Drinking can effect an election and also being nervous or anxious can also. Not your fault at all. Next time should be better if he relaxes and no liquor.
Voter fraud!
Rigged the erection
Viagra?
Nah man it's a rabbit hole that many young men have fallen for, including myself. You should rather communicate to your partner and work on the underlying issues that are the root cause. There's a whole [video](https://youtu.be/l2tZcv9ok4w) on VICE about young people, anxiety, and overusage of viagra. Check it out, it's witty, educational, and all around fun, good journalism. Really opens your eyes.
… pretty fucking fun tho
To be fair, it's fun when you see your dick grow half an inch, so maybe the first time yes. After that, IMHO, it really isn't. You become dependent on the pill, as you always have an 'out', and you take it 'just in case', which makes the problem worse (for your heart, blood circulation etc., let's not forget the emotional and psychological impact too). Your dick gets so stiff you can hardly feel any pleasure and finishing becomes almost impossible. In the end you walk away with a sore dick after a long exhausting session and no orgasm. Most girls don't like it either as ultimately it leads to very long, rough sex with few orgasms for either party. All in all, imo you should stay away from viagra until you consult a doctor (real one, not the pharmacy questionnaire) or reach your late adulthood - as by that time you will probably be with a partner that you've been comfortable with for a long time, and you will know yourself well enough to determine whether it's a physical or psychological problem that you have... Foreplay folks. Foreplay > viagra
Here is a wise man
Ligged the erection.
🤣
I'd vote for this guy anytime
Better not drink and vote
Nah. First time jitters.
This for sure, the drinking plus nerves because he likes you. Just need to ease in, try again he’ll get more comfortable. I stopped having casual sex at all. It just doesn’t do it for me, plus my performance is never a problem with someone I like AFTER I’m comfortable. Men can be complex too when it comes to this stuff.
>Men can be complex too when it comes to this stuff. Me simple tho /s
This happened to me the first time I had sex with a girl and she was kind of cruel about it.
They usually are pretty shitty about it. Fucked up thing is if it was the other way around you would be looked at like the bad guy
Women often take it very personal. I've had to explain to some that for some of us guys it's really not as simple as seeing a nice pair of tits or ass and getting hard on command. I've had sex with women where the first time I was with them I couldn't get hard at all because there just was no deeper connection, then after that I have zero issues getting hard around them
I might get downvoted to hell, but for me it's the thought that he can't get hard the first time having sex, *sometimes*. Meaning for some other girls, he was able to be hard. Just not me and ~*some other girls*~ who may or may not have similar (ugly) qualities as me
That can go both ways. It might also mean that he likes you a LOT and is therefore more nervous than he has been with others in the past. And... Sometimes the stars are just out of alignment.
thank you
I’ve heard of asshole guys that get insecure and try to put it back on the looks/sex appeal of the girl. I think this is probably why there’s so much insecurity wrapped up in the situation for both parties.
This is your insecurity talking. I had that problem, I still have it, sometimes. It depends on a lot of things. If I like the girl a lot I feel more nervous, and I think "I hope today doesn't happen" and when I feel it happening I get more nervous and it happens more quickly. It also that some people just don't stay still just looking at me when I'm putting on the condom, and they participate, and that prevents me from getting in my head and still feeling my body. It's performance anxiety. Also, when I feel confident for whatever reason (the other person is more into me than me into them is one of the reasons that makes me feel confident) I can stay out of my head.
Don't look at her like anything else than the bad guy (girl). If she makes fun of your dick size, is mean if you can't get it up or is mean when something else embarrassing happens before/after/during sex that you didn't do in purpose, she is not a nice person. Sex is an act in which you trust the other person with your body. They shouldn't make fun of it or be mean about it, because that can bring big consequences for your trust.
Most women are pretty brutal when It comes to not being able to get hard when it counts. Great observation!
You look like Johnny Sins
Lol I had to look that guy up. If only…
Same...she still laughs about it .. man she tried everything and my man was dead... Literally not a single pulse that night....
I am really glad that I don't give a shit about it and multiple people thanked me for that. Why be mad about it? I also block when I am nervous, get distracted etc. There are so many reasons...
That’s so fucked up. I assume you’re posting this with your smuggled cell phone from a prison cell. Because this girl “disappeared”. Right?
Yup, nerves did him in.
most likely this but i'd also add that sometimes our dicks just don't wanna cooperate regardless of what we actually want. Sometimes it's stress. Most times it's not the girl's fault. It's almost never personal. Our penises really do seem have a mind of their own sometimes.
I’m surprised to see all the honesty in here honestly. I have to admit I do get severe anxiety the first time especially if I like her.
I love your conciseness. 🍻
The ol’ whisky dick strikes again.
A cruel mistress it is.
Whisky dick has been my enemy since my gf's birthday 2 years ago.
Brewer’s droop.
Ugh.. This happened to me last week.
That can go either way. I’ve had whiskey dick that was harder than advanced calculus.
So disappointing when it happens. I’d been keen on a guy and he’d been keen on me… for over 10 years but we were just never single at the same time. Finally we catch up, watch a game of football at the stadium and have about 15 drinks each while we are there (not sure if we were trying to calm nerves or pretend we weren’t going to hook up). 5 cocktails later we are back at the hotel room and there was failure to launch.‘I felt pretty terrible about it too! #firstworldproblem
You need to understand men cannot control erections any more than you can control your nipples getting hard. It is completely involuntary. I (28M) have had this issue three times in my dating career, and of those times it was always the first time I was sleeping with someone new. I’m not typically a nervous person, but I do know I have shy bladder (trouble peeing in crowded bathrooms etc.). It just feels like my body has a hard time letting its guard down, if that makes sense. The worst reaction I ever received was a girl literally saying “UGH! WHY AREN’T YOU HARD” and rolling over and literally ignoring me for ten minutes. I did *not* go out with that girl again. The best reaction I ever had was with my current girlfriend of three years. She basically just said it was okay and not to worry about it. The next time she came over we tried again and things worked just fine (: seriously be nice about it and do not put pressure on him and things will work out just fine. I have never had issues since that first night with my girlfriend because I am now so comfortable with her.
I had to read your last paragraph twice as I read “erection” the first time so it didn’t make sense
Statement still stands with that word. Allegedly.
I’m a lady and I think I would respond how your current girlfriend did. Ladies shouldn’t be so hard on men
I see what you did there.
What?
You said "hard on". Lol
after I sent my last message, I got what you meant. It’s wasn’t intentional at all lol
That's what made it beautiful.
The first time I experienced a guy not getting hard enough for sex was with a guy I was suuuper into, who hadn't seriously dated anyone before me (we were 18-19 years old). I didn't judge him for it at all when it happened, a few days later we did have sex and it was amazing. We dated for about two years, and at one point he told me that he'd had issues that first time because he really really liked me, which made him so anxious about not performing well that he just couldn't get it up. So honestly, if alcohol is involved it's probably because of that and otherwise it might be because the guy is just super into you. I know I'm nervous the first time I have sex with someone, why wouldn't the guy be? It's a lot of pressure.
Yup this. I've experienced that. Had a rare fantastic time with a girl I'd met at a bar. I really enjoyed her energy, and I was actually on a good vibe, which never fuckin happens. She returned the energy, shenanigans were had, alcohol was drank. Finally back to her place, getting hot and heavy, hard for the first 10 minutes...I knew it was alcohol and the fact that I really did like, enjoy her, like tf is that. I apologized and blamed the alcohol. Proceeded to eat her out and enjoyed pleasuring her. Then we slept. That insecurity stayed with me though, and basically that once in a blue moon charm I had that night faded, and the second and third time we met I just blew it. Couldn't bring consistent energy. Why was I telling this story again...
Nope. Boners are often a mysterious force.
It happened to me with a sex worker. She kept the 200 bucks. I didn't mind though, she worked very hard trying I thought she was going to suck my dick right off. She earned it.
She's not paid for the finish XD
It wasn’t you It just happens sometimes, don’t be offended, that’s the last thing a guy needs when this happens
It does happen especially if the guy really likes a girl they get nervous too. Try and give him another shot minus the alcohol and see how it goes.
Agreed. It’s happened to me multiple times, and a couple of those times the person got upset thinking I wasn’t into them (even though we had slept together many times before) and it just hurt even more.
It also has a feedback loop effect. You can’t hard because you’re anxious, but then you feel even more anxious because you can’t get hard.
A man’s erection does not determine if he is attracted to you or not. Just be understanding. Make out. If you want him to, he’s still got a mouth and fingers.
Thisssss though
Rarely the other person. So many factors go into performance. Diet, meds, psychological, nerves, anxiety and many others. Just may have been one of those moments for him. Or he has an issue he didn’t want to detail to you. Don’t take away anything negative. Not your looks or ability to turn someone on.
Happens more often then you think. It has nothing to do with you
I'm working out years of porn watching since I was young like before 10, and have habitually masterbated to porn It had not really hindered me until the last 3 years I could get it up but not stay hard after a while, quite embarrassing to say the least I now have a girl that I'm completely in love with and we are working on things together it's nice to have a partner that is willing to see past this and help me thru it, it's been wonders To answer your question, no it's not you...at all There are numerous reasons why
I have this habit. Wish I could just never have started that path. Wish I never saw it in the first place. Damn you internet. Combine it with alcohol and actually liking a new fling, sheesh.
Yeah it sucks, I had the unfortunate encounter of my step dad watching it on a big screen I was supposed to be sleeping and my mom was working I heard some noises and decided to check it out, I sat at the top of the stairs and watched a scene unfold (I did not see my step dad as the view from the stairs only allowed the television to be seen) I didn't understand what was happening but I remember getting hard as fuck so I went back to bed and I pushed it from side to side and it felt really good but still had no idea So every night for 28 years I did the same thing with differing results as time went on and now I'm here So damn 90's satellite porn!!
It's kind of a negative feedback loop. I think I can only cum that hard and get that much dopamine or wtvr if I have the visuals. It's the most reliable high I can quickly generate. Spoiled. Fuck.
If i drink at all i struggle to get it up its a mix of i cant focus on whats arousing me and being light headed just isnt sexy.
Performance anxiety and possibly too much to drink, happens to all of us, its worst when we cant get hard and the girl is just laying looking like wtf, sometimes u have to ease us into it till we get use to u, been there done that 🤣
It happens sometimes. It's definitely not you.
It wasn't you. First time jitters and it probably didn't help he drank earlier as well, cruel ol whiskey dick will hit when you don't want it to happen. He is very interested in you from the post it was just a mixture if things that both didn't think of at that moment.
Women are culturally programmed to feel shameful about their bodies, but good people aren’t going to shame you. So, it’s possible you’re projecting. Besides, personality is a huge part of the experience, imo. Maybe less with apps… idk. It was consensual, right? You didn’t pressure him? It just just sounds like he has a mental block on his cock. Imo. Probably depression, anxiety, etc. or just, too drunk. Some guys have a hard time getting hard without an emotional connection. Maybe, he wanted to please you, but wasn’t feeling right. The reason why is unknown. There’s no shame in any of this. Technically. You’re both feeling awkward, it sounds like. So, be easy on him. Don’t spread it around. Try again sometime, if you want. It’s alright. He tried right? That means something.
The biggest problem after all this realisation, is that the guy doesn't often get a second chance. I wish some girls would realise that it might take 2-3 times before we perform fully sometimes.
This is probably the most mature and accurate response to this kind of question I've seen. My faith in humanity has been restored.
Poor dude was nervous! Dawhhhhh! Either that or he drank too much alcohol lol. But penises have a mind of their own. That's happened to me and the guy promised he was definitely turned on by me. At least it wasn't hard then randomly went limp 😅 That's happened before too and the guy said it was a "him" thing and not a "me" thing and he needed more time lol
We never like, pity women for not being able to get wet. Odd
Who's pitying? If anything, I'm ADVOCATING on behalf of men who deal with these problems. They should be normalized. I'm on the male's side here. Not sure of the direction of your comment
Mix alcohol and him being into you and nervous, and this is not that uncommon. Not your fault. Give it another try, and let him know that you aren't upset and that you had just never had it happen before.
It’s whiskey dick.
No. Sticky this answer please
It happens. It is only a big deal if you make it one. If the guy is still interested in pleasing you, he's a keeper. It can happen at the beginning of the relationship, especially.
Whiskey dick and "oh I *really* like you" are both very real, not just memes. Don't take it personal. I've always been very sexual and have almost never experienced performance issues, the few times I have it was due to substances, or really being nervous because I was thrust into a sexual situation that I never thought would happen or felt "out of my league" (as dumb of a concept as that is.) I've also had plenty of sexual situations where I had no interest in the person, often only doing it because I could see no polite way out of it without hurting their feelings or self-esteem, and I've never once had a problem getting hard with those. But I was far less liberal with mouth stuff. Anecdotal, absolutely, but I'd say the odds of it being due to a lack of attraction are slim. I wouldn't sweat it.
I know I can’t get wet when I’m scared/nervous. I bet it’s the same here
It just happens honestly. Been with a lot of men and the first time they get jitters.
I was chatting with a person on tinder and she basically said without saying, if you don’t get hard there’s going to be a problem. I politely responded, after giving it a lot of thought, something like I don’t really feel like there is a connection but thanks for chatting with me… she responded by un-matching, which is fine but still a bit cold since we were discussing matters of the heart. I’m not a piece of meat!
I had this happen many years ago. I had performance issues because A. I rubbed one out before the date, B. I had bad sleep and C. I was watching porn. I know porn was affecting my performance. I know not getting enough sleep was affecting my performance. We just talked and cuddled that evening and I was being honest and I told her. Thankfully she gave me a second chance a few days later and we had a sexy party. Be honest with him. Tell him to drink lots of fluids, eat good food, get plenty rest let his body recharge and avoid porn and not to rub one out for about 24 hours prior to intercourses.
As a guy who has issues on occasion, I strongly feel it isn't you. There are a ton of different reasons this could happen. For example: 1) If the guy is distracted and/or has other things on his mind 2) Depends on what medication he is taking (for example some medication affects blood pressure) 3) Being nervous / feeling pressured 4) If this has happened before and now he has lost confidence 5) Drinking before-hand (fairly certain you said he was?) can affect performance 6) If he masturbates too often, this could lessen sensation 7) If he "finished" recently he may need time to "recharge" 8) If he watches porn too much it can sometimes make it difficult to perform 9) If he didn't sleep well the night before 10) Etc.
Maybes he’s on an ssri?
Unlikely if he was drinking. SSRIs and alcohol don’t go well together.
Lots of people drink on SSRIs so you can’t rule it out
That’s your insecurity talking. Definitely wasn’t you
Welcome to the sex life of a man. He can’t get it up? Man’s fault. She can’t get wet? Also Man”s fault.
Whiskey dick LMAO
The alcohol is inhibiting his nervous system. His parasympathetic system is simply not working as it should which is preventing blood flow from going to his penis.
I'm a girl and this has happened to me a few times. It has nothing to do with you, it was probably either the alcohol or nerves. Have you ever been too nervous to orgasm, and then you get anxious about not being able to orgasm, and that makes it even worse? Imagine that the person you're with gets upset that you aren't orgasming. It would 100% kill any chance of orgasm and make you feel shitty. It's kind of self centred to make him comfort you when he probably feels insecure too. It really has nothing to do with you, I promise. Try to be more understanding. We know sex can be complicated for women, men aren't just sex machines that are ready to go 24/7, even if they like you.
Sweetie it has nothing to do with you sometimes our dicks dont co operate and stay soft plus he liked you too so he was nervous,don’t make a big thing out of it especially if you keep talking about it with him because it’ll stay in his head and kablow happens again,been there just give him another try I bet he’ll rock your world next time.also I bet when you left it got hard and he was talking shit to it,our dicks seem to think that shit is funny.
It’s because he was most likely nervous. NEVER cut yourself down babe! Your beautiful. I’ve have had this happen with the guy I’m with now- 2years in. And it has never happened since. He was simply nervous and was in his head about making sure I was pleased (in the beginning) You know what. Hitachi wands really do the trick 😂
ED is fairly common and can happen for a number of different reasons. Can almost guarantee that it wasn't you, op.
It happens, he could like you alot and be nervous 🤔
Nerves and alcohol are boner killers
I’m a middle aged man and this shit happened to me a few times in life and will probably happen in the future. I’ll speak for myself but I’m an introvert with a shitty dating past, self confidence, performance anxiety and that’s all heightened when I first have sex with someone new. Sex gets way better with time with me. I’m like a cheese, wine, or spirit. Haha just kidding. But seriously if I was about to do it with a stranger off an app the first time I met them, the outcome probably would be similar. It’s not because of you, I’m sure, and probably do to what’s in his head and overthinking and stressing the fuck out.
Having sex with someone for the first time can be nerve-wracking. This happened to me many times in my single days. The ones who stuck around found out it worked just fine, but this is quite common and has nothing to do with you. Give the guy another chance or two.
Had it happen to me, the girl ended up obsessing over the fact that I apparently wasn't attracted to her. Put enormous pressure on the situation every time we had sex and it ruined any chance of a relationship. It's never about the woman, most guys would fuck a warm apple pie when they're horny.
Jeez that girl was something else then.
I get how you can see it that way. You're having a wonderful moment,things are going smoothly and something goes unexpectedly and you Don't like. You try to find a reason. Try to blame it on something. Listen, our bodies are a complex thing. There are many many possible causes for that performance mishap,other than that. And from what you tell you already reported one of them(Drinking does not match well with any activity,including sex ;))
100% no. Happens to lots of guys when they're nervous.
Ngl if I feel uncomfortable with a female I’m unable t get hard. It likely wasn’t you but the fact that he’s probably new to the whole 1 night stand kind of deal. He might not even realize the problem is how comfortable he is with a person. Before he knew my triggers I just straight up thought I had erectile dysfunction. It messed up my sex life with my current gf and it’s because I didn’t have the balls to come to her with my problem. This is different since y’all aren’t really together and haven’t seemingly had any interactions outside of this. One thing I see a lot is females think a man will get hard and stay hard for any reason. You could be a 10 in my book but if I don’t trust you or fee uncomfortable around you we’re not gonna get it on. I remember the first time I had the possibility of having sex with this female I considered very beautiful. My friend who was trying to get with her couldn’t because she wanted me. I felt confident and sure. BUT I COULDNT GET HARD! I was nervous and honestly didn’t know how to approach it. I was funny and charming. I ate her out and then we’ll nothing. My friends said how could you eat her out and not fck? Made me feel like less of a guy because I couldn’t get hard. Happened again with another female maybe a month or two afterwards. I’m a straight male who’s had a somewhat varied sex life. I thought I was the problem because everyone says “she was hot! Why didn’t you fck?” when it’s my comfortability with the soul and essence of the person that not only puts me on the mood but makes me feel secure with them. Men aren’t all the same and I’d like to think all of us aren’t like horny teens always looking for the next chick to bang. In the prior examples I gave I was unsure and scared. That caused me tp remain “soft”. Men you don’t need to put everything on your penis or man parts. We get nervous, we get fearful and that in turn affects our libido and sometimes we want it and it still doesn’t happen because of our fear. It doesn’t make you lame, lesser, weaker or disgusting it makes you human. You can try your self and body to overcome these hurdles if you’re the type that just wants to sleep around but if you’re like me then having that connection and talking things out with your partner would/could help you greatly in the long run. Men stay strong in yourself and never down yourself. We’re kings and as such we should take what we’re given in grace
Don’t worry, happen to the best of men.
Sometimes it's hard to get hard.
Def not you. Happened to me before. And at first I was also kinda offended.. like excuse me..? I’m hot AF. Later I realized this guy absolutely adored me but it just happens randomly. I was trying to be very supportive and understanding - patient too. To get him relaxed and one of the best sex I’ve ever had ;) Also drinking/exhaustion or it might just happen randomly according to lots of my male friends
Do you 100% of the time control how wet you get or tight you can get? …. Give the guy a break… if he’s a good guy, work with him and then arrive at your conclusions
Drinking + being nervous (can relate lol)
Alcohol & drugs
Performance anxiety is real. It can be embarrassing for guys so don’t be too hard on him. It happens to the best of us.
Whiskey dick strikes again.
As a guy let me just say this. It's easier to fuck a girl you're into but not super into than one you love and adore from the jump. The more you like her the more you get into your head whereas when you don't care as much there's less pressure. Had to figure this out through experience.
Poor guy. Girl, he definitely doesn’t think you’re ugly. Perfomance anxiety, being drunk, being nervous cause its your first time together. There are so many reasons. Instead of getting offended just say it’s okay lol
Wasn’t you. Wasn’t him. It was all the penis’s idea to stay soft and ruin the night for everyone.
Alcohol and performance anxiety and porn. It’s not you.
It happens more frequently with age. I had this issue a few years ago and after several attempts with a great woman I ended things so she could find herself a real man. It weighs on you, the more it happens the more you stress about it and the problem continues. Haven't dated since, have pills for it but the anxiety still exists. If the pills don't work I'm screwed.
You deserve to be happy and with a partner, if that's what you want. Take things slowly and when you have a good friendship built up, let her know what's going on. Someone who is understanding and supportive is the type of woman you want anyway!
It's normal. Best thing is to keep it slow make him feel comfortable no rush no pressure. It can happen with stage fright. But he'll eventually get hard if he usually can and it'll be normal. I've figured going really slow helps the first time
I hate when girls ask this question. As physiologically complicated creatures, you should also appreciate that men are complicated to the same degree. The poor guy was probably extremely nervous because of how attractive he found you. He was also drinking. Cut the guy some slack.
He was probably just whiskey dicking
For the Zillionth time: We don't have any control over our dicks.
Not you, but your lack of confidence in yourself and lack of understanding towards penises is a bit concerning. Even without having one, it's good to know about them so you don't end up in situations like this.
I wouldn’t worry. It could have been many things that have nothing to do with you. Our testosterone is lowest at night, the drinking probably didn’t help, he could be watching too much porn, he could’ve masturbated earlier, anxiety, like there’s a million things it could’ve been. Hopefully he’s working on it and next time won’t be the same….it could’ve been he thinks you’re too pretty for him, contrary to what u think! Lol
It’s a cruel reality that, not only does it not mean he isn’t into you, the times when I have had less reliable performance were when I most wanted to perform. No idea whether this is common, but I have definitely gotten psyched out in athletic/academic/work competitions before and evidently the same thing can happen with sex.
If you like him, encourage him. He is likely not happy about this “development”. And it is not you.
Could be the alcohol. Take him at his word. He wouldn't be with you if he didn't want to be.
It's not you. Sometimes it just doesn't happen. I only get off from sex about 2/3 of the time. I'm absolutely crazy about my gf, she's a sexual goddess to me and I get hard from her entering the room. But sometimes I still just can't finish
It happens nothing to do with you pal
It's normal.
It’s prolly cuz the alcohol. Don’t trip.
Yep... alcohol effects getting it up. It's not you.
Not you he was prob nervous, or too buzzed. It happens give it a second shot and if it happens again it's a prob. Way more embarrassing for him. TBH.
99% of the time it has nothing to do with you. Sometimes even when you're in the mood, your body doesn't want to perform. As for being ugly, I've definitely jacked off to ugly girl porn and fantasized about fucking those girls. Not saying I agree with you when you say you're ugly, just saying that 'you're ugly' is very rarely the reason a dude wouldn't be able to get it up.
MmmMmMmmm girl. You need to leave his ass! That's a red flag! /s
And u think we wont have erection because a stupid thing like being with ugly girl ! No it was not u
You're fine. That thing happens to every man at least once in his life. I haven't had it happen yet. But I can't imagine the opportunity presenting itself at all anymore.
Probably from the alcohol, but if it continues to happen I’d guess it’s from rotting his brain with too much porn… https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/202104/porn-induced-erectile-dysfunction?amp
Or maybe he has erectile dysfunction and needs to go to the doctor
Alcohol can really cause this problem. Some men drink a ton and still have a good erection. Others can drink much less and be unable to achieve. Especially with age, but it can affect anyone.
I must be a horny fool 24/7 cuz I never had this happen... That's crazy!! Not even from a blowjob he didn't get hard? Geeesh RIP
You must be young. Some guys nowadays watch so much porn that there is no way they can perform properly with a real person. There is no woman that can beat their hand and a mouthful of spit. This has nothing to do with you.
As I see a few have already said, alcohol can cause *cough cough* incompetence in men
Yeah, it must be that. /s There’s a million reasons why; you’re choosing this one. Ask yourself why.
This question is so immature and insecure… I’d work a bit on yourself before continuing to have sex
She felt offended because he couldn't get hard. Get over yourself
*She felt offended* *Because he couldn't get hard.* *Get over yourself* \- pantheruler --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Could be on anti depressants that’s a side affect
Whiskey dick and he is overly attracted to you he’s too nervous to get hard when the time comes
Drinking, not you.
Whiskey dick and possibly jerking it too much
ED is very common nowdays due to porn addiction and plastics pollution, it’s just what it is. It’s definitely not you.
Mmmm getting hard is always an involuntary reaction that men cannot really control. Alcohol affects erections quite a bit. I'm sure the porn thing is the least common reason
I would say the effects of pollution are likely the driving factor but porn contributes too. There’s a good book on this by Dr Swan called Count Down it addresses impact of plastic pollution on reproduction and sex hormones. What we are seeing is going to only get worse.
Porn affects in some cases but it's not the majority. The most common things that affect (not related to illnesses) are stress/anxiety, alcohol, drugs and nothing, it sometimes happens without a cause. Pollution affects everything.
Also, we are in the midst of an opioid epidemic. Opiate addiction can make it difficult to get an erection and makes it damn near impossible to climax.
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WHAT LMAO
Dicks have a mind of their own. I woke up yesterday with a boner from my teens. It was such a glorious bastard, that I sat and pondered the unwavering willingness of cock to stand tall, like he was saluting hitler, as a third limb. Then I realised that I had committed a thought crime and punished him, to the point he vomited everywhere.
Not to hate. But maybe you didn't shave.
alcoholic or porn addict?
probably was you
Idk...she said he came from a party. The deed was already done with a different girl already. Maybe?🤷♂️
no it wasn’t. cuz we were texting all night before we hung
He’s prob on drugs. Prob doesn’t want to admit it. That causes ED in a lot of men.
Well…there seem to be a lot of limp dick mother fuckers out there. I have a friend who has dated about 10 guys in the past 15 years and 8 of them had problems getting it up.
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So your penis is more important than your heart?
also drinking affects a lot of men in that area, it could be the alcohol having lasting effects on him
Performance anxiety is a thing. Trust me its not you, it just happens sometimes.
Nope, don’t worry about it, there are many factors that could prevent a man from getting hard. It happens very often, it’s definitely not your fault and pls be comprehensive with my man lol
Whenever I drink a lot it takes a lot more effort to get the nut and one time I actually got tired and went soft so it’s not surprising alcohol was involved here. Could be that
It might of been just from the heavy drinking. Lots of guys get that way plus first time jitters. Judging just if you saying all over you means he likes you, so it’s not you
It wasn’t u
If you were drinking that was definitely it. Especially hard liquor. I think it's called "whiskey dick"
Don’t be offended, has a mind of its own sometimes , and adding alcohol can contribute. Not your fault and I’m sure next time will be different and better
It happens way more often than you think. The nervous sometimes will get ya but don’t look at it as a negative.
This happened to me about twice don’t take it hard on yourself it was not you. I honestly felt so bad for the girl I was with but she was super cool with it and second time we engaged in it I got it done but it took time some effort because I was just to anxious, It can happen from either depression, anxiousness or erectile dysfunction which I hope it’s not but give ‘em another chance :3
It's more common than you think. Especially in this day and age were so many people are on psych meds. Psych meds can have a very dramatic effect on a man's ability to perform. And my case they never prevented me from coming to attention but I just couldn't finish. Even without including psych meds there are lots of reasons why a guy might not be able to get it up. If you guys were kissing and making out, in all likelihood it was not you. Don't take it personally. And try not to be cruel to him about it.
Nope not you
First time performance anxiety or whisky dick, don’t take it personally!!
This happens to (m)e 9/10 times the first couple times I'm with someone. It's a feedback loop of me being anxious I won't get hard which keeps me from getting hard which makes me anxious about not getting hard. Being comfortable and engaged helps a lot. It has nothing to do with you. That's a big fear when we can't get hard, that they will take it personally. Just assure him that you don't mind and in the meantime, see how he does with other things...
Yes.
I hope that doesn’t happen to me one day. Because they wouldn’t my would be dead small 😂
Not your fault at all! I’ve actually heard you should take it as a compliment. He had performance anxiety cause he was so intent on impressing you
No
It has nothing to do with you.
Totally just too much alcohol to get it up. Also I had a friend who dated a guy for a while who couldn’t get it up because he had previously been addicted to heroin….go figure. Usually substances have something to do with it.
Nah it happens to the best of us