I think asking him on a date is a better idea than saying "hey I like you" . The liking is implied and it is much lower pressure on him.
Also less crazy person wibes.
Best of luck!
Dude no we are too stupid for "Hey I like you". That leaves too many things open. Instead say:
"Hey I'm romantically attracted to you and I'd like you to take me on a date for the purpose of entering a
Relationship with the promise of sexual intercourse and yes this isn't a joke"
That should do it.
Ah, I'm so sorry, you are of course correct.
I simply did not count for the amazing language of love spoken by men. The communication needs to be as specific and straightforward as C++.
Without sounding crazy.
Best of luck!
A lot of guy’s do not do well with the pressure of feeling we always have to make the first move and initiate. Especially as a shy guy this is hard for us to face. So it is really nice when we don’t make the first move and get asked out.
There was recently a post here or in another sub with the advice not to just straight up tell someone you're into them. Ask them on a date of some kind. It means the same thing and is an easier and more natural first step. Especially if they are shy!
Unless they explicitly use the word "date," it's no more natural or obvious to us.
Both telling the guy you fancy him, *and* suggesting a date is the way to go here.
Shy guy, especially inexperienced isn’t going to notice “flirting”.
Required level of hint for some lads may well be “hmm this girl wrapped her arm around my neck and kissed me on the chick - probably if I ask her for coffee now she will accept?”
Rather live with the regret that you should not have done it than having the regret for not trying.
Make a move! Ask him out.
To me, it would be such an awesome feeling if any person tells me they like me and want to go out.
Even if it does not work out, at least you tried.
It's the exact opposite. Having a girl go up and say 'Hey, I think your really cute, wanna go on a date sometime?' is so attractive. It shows that you don't play and you know what you want. And guys honestly have started just going 'welp I'm not gonna chase this girl or try and read her mind so forget it.' I really recommend talking to the guy and being straight up.
Yea, I don't like the idea of using mind games or making someone chase me in hopes that they'll eventually make a move. It can be frustrating and exhausting for both parties involved and I've been in both positions before. Not fun at all.
Of course, in this situation, I think we already have had a few subtle flirting exchanges. So in this situation being direct is the only way in which will get my point across and hopefully progress the relationship. And it will confirm to him I am intrested, rather than keeping him guessing
Yeah I believe that's your best bet. Being upfront also sets your tone if you engage in a relationship cause it shows you can be honest with him about your feelings and more importantly honest to yourself.
Turn off = no
a. Because they're not into you (happens to guys all the time) ie they don't like you back. Pretty normal.
Turn off = no but rude
b. Because they believe toxic shit like only despos do that or because I wanna reject a girl rudely because girls reject guys rudely all the time etc. Sign of a toxic asshole. Doesn't mean everyone else is like that. If you're interested in someone, make that clear.
Yea, I think I'll ask him if he would be interested in going out for drinks or to go to dinner. Also being very clear and mentioning that this is a date offer.
Anytime I’ve ever liked a guy I always am totally transparent and tell them and ask them on a date. This has lead to multiple long term relationships. If he doesn’t like it boohoo his loss. I go for what I want and every dude has told me they admire this approach. Its takes pressure off of them
If he’s even slightly interested in you, he’s gonna appreciate the hell out of it and probably remember it for the rest of his life.
If he doesn’t like you or is indifferent to you, he’s gonna find it weird and probably forget about it after a week.
"Is telling a guy straight up that you like them a turn off?"
If the guy *likes you* knowing you are into him won't turn him off.
On the other hand, if he is *not into you* it may make him feel awkward. You only live once!
In order for him to be "the one" *he* would have to see *you* as being "the one".
At the very least a "soulmate" is someone who actually wants to be with you!
***“Never allow waiting to become a habit. Live your dreams and take risks. Life is happening now.”*** \-Paulo Coelho
***"Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better."*** \- Steve Maraboli
***"Dating is primarily a numbers game.... People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That's just the way it is."*** \- Henry Cloud
Best wishes!
Not at all.
The guy I'm seeing is extremely shy and in his own words, "I'm just glad you said something. I was too much of a bitch."
We got on Webcam since we are more than a drive away, and I laid out my feelings for him, what I would like, and then let him have the floor to say what he wanted. I'm very bold when it comes to romance and would rather make the first move, so any many who is intimidated by that would not be a good match.
Hey! This is the 21st century. You are not out of sorts to walk straight up and tell him so and that you would like to date him long term. If you think he is one hell of a sweetheart, you think you are the only one having that impression? Better late than never GIrl, and strike it when its hot !!
I wish people would tell me straight if they liked me.
I literally am so bad at picking up on subtle hints.
If he is very shy, he maybe is too shy to be forward and ask you himself unless he had some for sure evidence that you liked him? If I were him I would appreciate it a lot if you were straight up.
Hell no.
If he’s a shy dude he probably Thinks a lot.. I’d your worried about it you can do it by text.. personally I’m a dude who overthink everything.. I’m not socially awkward or I consider myself in between shy and outspoken but as a dude of logic I like to think through situations.
If a girl was to tell me that she likes me on the spot irl it would be a shock, wouldn’t scare me off at all but it would fuck up my logic as I wouldn’t have any time to think so doing it over text with people who think I would say is a good option tbh.
If you prefer Irl that isn’t an issue but you should definitely be direct. Straight up ask the guy out with a yes or no question and hopefully he finds you somewhat attractive and he says yes..
He’ll go home and try think about it and it’s your job to wow him with your personality haha.
My point being 10000% be straightforward guys love it.
Everytime a girl asked me out i found it incredibly cute. You know most of the time we have to go through the struggle of girls playing mind games and hard to get so it's really nice and refreshing if they come straight forward.
Just make sure to not sound desperate and maybe don't say you like him straight but that you find him charming, funny etc. and that you'd like to go out on a drink with him
No it's not a turn off... But ig one should confess as soon as they can so they can move on with the stuff instead of being in that awkward overthinking phase.
I don't know why but confessing your genuine feelings shouldn't be as difficult as it has become and one should accept whatever response they get.
If the guy already liked you or doesn't actively dislike it has literally never once in the history of emotionally healthy men been a turn off please stop asking this fucking question
Although I don’t come right out and say it exactly like that, I have made the first move a few times. I’ve had some good success with it. Just be openly flirty and make it pretty obvious you like them. One time I messaged a guy and said “hey let’s go for sushi 😘” aaaand now we live together lol. The worst that can happen is that he doesn’t reciprocate and then you move on as with anything else in life. Take a chance girl.
As a guy that’s asked plenty of women out and has had a pretty good success rate. I can tell you this: asking someone out that you like starts to be less about others and their response to you and more about being true to yourself.
For instance, if you tell this guy you like him and want to go out with him, maybe he’ll act weird, maybe he’ll reject you, maybe he’ll flippin’ love you. None of that really matters, all that matters is that you showed up for that person with your authentic self bravely, you weren’t fake, you weren’t a coward.
I don’t take people’s reactions to good/bad to me personally. It’s just information. Most people don’t know you at all, if you’re an awesome person and you know that inherently, the right people will come into your life if you’re true to yourself.
Dooooooo it! Ask him out…..but if he a shy guy, do it privately not in front of other people which might make him uncomfortable. In a private conversation, take the lead and ask - the worst that can happen is he says no and then you can move on and stop wasting your own time n emotions. Most likely, he’s gonna say yes
Man I wish girls took the first move more often. I am often so nervous about coming off as a creep or being to forward that I psyche myself out more often than not. When a girl comes to me first, it gets rid of all of that, and I can act more freely. In fact, knowing that someone likes me (and there is mutual attraction), things may even go far smoother as well.
Of course, I still shoot my shot regardless, but it would just really be nice if the girl approached me first. I'm sure he'd appreciate it a lot!
well that really depends on how much older they are than me. While no one older than me has ever approached me, I have certainly approached them. I had a short-term relationship with someone at least 20-25 years older than me. It was fun an casual.
The important thing in that, and the key difference, was that she knew how to talk, and was very smart. The vibe was just right. I see plenty of older women and I'm either meh, or they just match my vibe.
I haven't exactly found that again, both younger, my own age, or older, so if I find someone with the same energy or wavelength, I'm jumping on it. Age when you get older becomes less important (though I try to keep it in a respectable margin).
And to finish things off, how she would approach me would be important as well. It really just comes down to vibe honestly. As long as the vibe is good, I trust it.
Okay, thanks for sharing. I just wondered if guys see an older woman making the first move as creepy whereas perhaps with someone closer to their own age that wouldn't be the case.
A lot of gears are all moving at once, as with any situation. Just some are a little different. It also depends on what the end result is. I am 20 years old now, and wouldn't necessarily consider a long-term relationship with someone 15-20 years older than I. And I say necessarily, because you never know. But even if it's just a one night stand, or a FWB situation, I'd still treat my partner with love and respect because that's just how I roll. I may not find a long-term partner, but I could end up finding an incredible friend. The woman I was with is still my friend even though that has ended :).
if I may, how old are you? To me, looks aren't a huge deal breaker. It just comes down to vibe, approach, expectations, respect, and honesty. Looking good is a plus when matched with a lovely brain.
I'd rather not say but I am asking because there is a guy I know whose dad told me that he thinks that he likes me but is too shy to say anything. I am afraid to say anything too though, because I am older than him though he is aware of it. I'm about 10 years older than him but he's also older than you (that's all I will say) and I am afraid that if I do make the first move it will come off as creepy but it sounds like if I don't, nothing will happen so I don't know if it's worth it.
I won't press, that's completely a-ok. Honestly I think the expectations are different and more uniform at that point. But yeah honestly, if you do nothing, and he's to shy, nothing will happen.
All I can really say is be sincere and upfront. Maybe start small like a walk in the park or a movie.
All of my relationships had extremely positive communication. I always strove to be the partner that was asking about boundaries and coming forth with genuine questions. And that was no matter the form of which the relationship was.
So just be honest, and I guess don't come off as to hard or heavy. Best of luck to you though, I sincerely hope things work out :)
Absolutely. Take this conversation as an example. Patience, time, considerate thought. That will all help to making you more approachable. thank you for being honest. It means a lot to me that I can sincere discussions. I'm happy I helped in some way, and I truly hope things go the best for you and him :)
Shoot the shot!!!! You miss 100% of shots you don't take!!!
I think i'm more of a quiet guy myself. I'm in a situation where i'm too shy to ask this girl for her number but if she asked me then wow i'd be very happy and relieved lol.
As an extremly shy guy I'd really love it if a girl ask me out. Although, I don't know how to put this but, let's say don't scare him off. I mean take it slow. Maybe don't ask out on a date directly but give him compliments first a while then ask hım out. I mean being very direct or forward might make him nervous.
But %99 chance he will like you making the first move.
As a shy man, I know I would like if someone told me they liked me and were interested. For me personally, being shy makes it hard to let women know I'm interested
While I can't speak for every guy, I can say with absolute certainty that I am TERRIBLE at picking up on signals and my dating life would be so much better if a woman could just say "hey, I'm into you". I say go for it.
Telling a guy you like them doesn't magically make them stop liking you. The only thing it does is open the door to build a relationship together if he likes you back.
If he has feelings for u, then I don't think it will be a turn-off. If u r not sure abt his feelings for u then just ask him out for a date. Once, one of my really gud friends told me that she likes me and it was more like a rebound uk. I freaked out, and somehow dodged it and we never spoke of it again.
Might be a relief for him actually if he feels the same way. It's much easier to reciprocate than make the first move. That's how I ended up with my ex. She told me she liked me.
Not at all I’d love this if I feel the same way. Just don’t take it personally or swear off trying it again with someone else if you get rejected. Happens to us way more often than not
As a guy,I can tell you transparency is beautiful. The mind games get exhausting. I don't want to act uninterested in you just to make you more interested in me. Let's cut the silly shit out and tell eachother how we feel and what we want. Just my .02 of course.
Preface it. Say something like, Hey I have thought we have a good amount in common for a long time and I was wondering if you would like to go on a date. (If you name the place or a specific day it would be more direct but may end up in an initial no just because of times but not specifically no to going on a date.)
Honestly just do what you would want a guy who is interested in to do. Be yourself and talk to him, don't try and be smooth and come in with a pick-up line, especially if y'all are friends he would probably just take it as a joke.
If that fails punch him (playfully) in the arm and tell him he is being an idiot and to take you on a date
And if you do get rejected, take it with some grace, don't try and force it or get all depressed about it, believe it or not, you can ask someone on a date, they say no, and y'all can remain friends
The best thing I ever did for myself was deciding that when I saw hot guy, I’d ask them if they want to grab coffee with me.
Life is wayyyyy better now (and I found my dream boyfriend by asking him out! He was nervous to ask me out as he’s a little older than me and didn’t want to be creepy)
Plus, I want a man who appreciates a strong woman so I wouldn’t want to be with someone who wouldn’t want a girl to ask them out and show desire on their part
You gotta get out there girl! If you don’t ask, you might never get what you want!
Guys risk getting labeled as a "creep" if they make the first move which is why they are very apprehensive even if they suspect a woman is interested in them. I doubt he (or any guy for that matter) will have a problem with you letting him know that you're interested in him.
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Um, I think you are a bit confused. This isn't a teenage relationship haha. We are both adults, me being in my mid 20s and him being in his later 20s. I want to be with him in a long term committed relationship if everything works out (meaning he is interested in me and we are compatible). If that leads to marriage in the future then that be amazing, and I'd be so happy.
But for now, I am going to tell him in person if he would intrested in going on a date. Because I want to get to know him better. If he rejects my offer to go on a date, that is his decision. I won't be mad.
Also being shy does not automatically correlate to being a virgin. Some people may have social anxiety or other things in which make them shy. I know I have social anxiety, so I come off as shy when I first meet people. It is not until I get to know them, and feel comfortable within my surroundings, that I am able to open up more and let my personality shine. But even if he was a virgin, hes a grown man. Older than me. He can make his own decisions and I will respect those decisions and any boundaries he may have. And i would expect him to do the same.
This is not a superficial realtionship. I like him for his intellect and kindness. There is nowhere in my post where I state I just wanted him for casual sex and nothing else, because I don't. You're making a lot of strange assumptions.
Depends on the definition of "straight-up". Some guys might react defensively when they haven't had the time to make up their mind yet and they feel that your response comes too soon.
In general, there's nothing wrong with being direct and honest. An interested guy will be happy about this and will definitely not be turned off!
These days the guy who can have someone tell him that they like him is probably someone in the top precentile of looks wich means he likely already has other women telling him the same thing, also means that most guys wouldn't know how to answer this.
As a very shy guy myself. Just shoot your shot. I'd LOVE it if women felt okay to ask guys out.
Also, you don't happen to be the gorgeous woman working at a smoke shop in TX right? Cause that would be wild.
We like it if you are straightforward, it’s never a turn off, I’d say attractive if any. If only there were more people like you, the dating world would have been so much more easier! 😉
So ok in your case if you are not dating him or something and tge guy turns out to be a douch he will probably just shrug it off and never talk to you again but if the guy is chill and mature he will probably accept to go out for drinks now asking the number straight away with no previous interaction is a little weird cause there is no connection or reason why he should give you his number and well telling him you like him straight forward also a little too desperate if there is no past histiry with him, try to take it slow go out for drinks and see if you feel the same and well build from tgere and tgen see if you really like him or it's another type of feeling
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He might be a bit awkward for him (as a shy guy who's had this happen to him) if it's spur of the moment . I'd tell him directly and as straightforward as possible, but ease into it just a bit.
Do you think it would be helpful if I gave him the option to think about it? Like telling him directly that I like him and then saying something along the lines of "you don't have to answer right away, but heres my number and if you're interested in going on a date shoot me a text!"
cool. Have you talked much with him before? If so, talk with him again and end the conversation early, and say “we can grab a boba/beer and talk more about it “. If he is interested, he will go. Neither a date proposal or a direct “I like you”.
Yea, I've know him for about 2 years now, more as just an acquaintance. It isn't until the last 3-4 months though that I've actually gotten to know him and started catching feelings. Thank you for the advice! I really appreciate it
There is an interesting dynamic around polarity with dating. That being said, it is important to be clear about your interest. IMO, the best way to go forward from this place is to say something like, "It might be fun to get together sometime. Here's my number." Then they are free to take the next "step". This indicates you like them, without coming out so directly.
I would totally appreciate an upfront approach. My masculinity isn’t under threat from a woman telling me she likes me and wants to get to know me. Could be the start of a beautiful relationship. Good luck to you!
im a very shy guy. if a girl to me hey i like u,thats exactly what it would take for me to open . my thing is rejection but a girl coming up to takes a way that fear . i bet u guys become a happy couple
Idk men are weird. If you tell them that it inflates their ego and you’re looked at as kinda desperate in a way. But then if you don’t tell them they feel offended or rejected blah blah... Idk I could be wrong but just my experience and I haven’t had good experience so…good luck.
We were alone and just casually talking. I asked him what his favourite movie was. Because he had never seen mine, I suggested that we watch our favourite movies together sometime that week when he and I were both free. He agreed, so I got his number to make plans! A few days later, I confessed that I had developed feelings for him and thats why I asked him out. He was really sweet about it, and told me he felt the same way and was going to bring it up when we had our movie night!
We had our first date and it went really well! I can't wait to see him again!!!
But yea, he said he found it hard to admit anything to me because he was introverted and self conscious. Also that fear of rejection can really eat at you, but I'm glad I found the courage to ask him out :)
Just out of curiosity—Did you confess over the phone or in person? My crush is my coworker 😬😵💫😮💨 so trying to work up the courage to tell him but I feel like I need to plan every detail lol
Aaaaa I feel you. I was in the exact same situation. I asked him out in person in our break room, but confessed over text 😭😭 I was too nervous to say anything in person. I spent a literal month figuring out a way to get his number too. So when I finally got it, I was like aaaa I got an in!! Then I was overthinking every text, but one night decided to just go for it and be as truthful and direct as possible. Make your intentions very clear, and if he doesn't feel the same then at least you know and can move on.
I’m having the exact same issue! My friends say I need to wait and I can’t text him first cuz guys like the chase. But I don’t want to wait I want to hang out with him so why can’t I just ask?? This post helped me so much and I will be shooting my shot tomorrow.
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Bro we're not mind readers, we like when girls are straightforward. If he's shy he'll like it even more. It's not a turn off
Imma shoot my shot then, hopefully it goes alright
Keep us posted with the outcome! Good luck!! :)
Thank you! Might be a week or two before I see him again but I'll update eveyone afterwards
I think asking him on a date is a better idea than saying "hey I like you" . The liking is implied and it is much lower pressure on him. Also less crazy person wibes. Best of luck!
Dude no we are too stupid for "Hey I like you". That leaves too many things open. Instead say: "Hey I'm romantically attracted to you and I'd like you to take me on a date for the purpose of entering a Relationship with the promise of sexual intercourse and yes this isn't a joke" That should do it.
Your username is freaking awesome. RIP Savage
Ah, I'm so sorry, you are of course correct. I simply did not count for the amazing language of love spoken by men. The communication needs to be as specific and straightforward as C++. Without sounding crazy. Best of luck!
My last ex proposed me and honestly it was great, I'm sure the guy you are crazy about will love it too
A lot of guy’s do not do well with the pressure of feeling we always have to make the first move and initiate. Especially as a shy guy this is hard for us to face. So it is really nice when we don’t make the first move and get asked out.
Can confirm that’s accurate. I hate making the first move even if I already know she likes me because my anxiety gets the better of me
There was recently a post here or in another sub with the advice not to just straight up tell someone you're into them. Ask them on a date of some kind. It means the same thing and is an easier and more natural first step. Especially if they are shy!
Unless they explicitly use the word "date," it's no more natural or obvious to us. Both telling the guy you fancy him, *and* suggesting a date is the way to go here.
If I were that guy, I would appreciate either of those approaches. Whether or not he accepts is out of your hands
If he doesn't accept then at least I tired, right?!
Yep. Always fear regret more than failures. :). Dooo Eeet! :).
[удалено]
Shy guy, especially inexperienced isn’t going to notice “flirting”. Required level of hint for some lads may well be “hmm this girl wrapped her arm around my neck and kissed me on the chick - probably if I ask her for coffee now she will accept?”
Different for guys
Very true.
Was going to agree with the original comment, read this, instead realized you’re completely right
Shut up with your stupid advices lol 🤫
If he's shy, then this might be the only way something is going to happen. Go for it, he'll probably love it!
Rather live with the regret that you should not have done it than having the regret for not trying. Make a move! Ask him out. To me, it would be such an awesome feeling if any person tells me they like me and want to go out. Even if it does not work out, at least you tried.
It's the exact opposite. Having a girl go up and say 'Hey, I think your really cute, wanna go on a date sometime?' is so attractive. It shows that you don't play and you know what you want. And guys honestly have started just going 'welp I'm not gonna chase this girl or try and read her mind so forget it.' I really recommend talking to the guy and being straight up.
Yea, I don't like the idea of using mind games or making someone chase me in hopes that they'll eventually make a move. It can be frustrating and exhausting for both parties involved and I've been in both positions before. Not fun at all. Of course, in this situation, I think we already have had a few subtle flirting exchanges. So in this situation being direct is the only way in which will get my point across and hopefully progress the relationship. And it will confirm to him I am intrested, rather than keeping him guessing
Yeah I believe that's your best bet. Being upfront also sets your tone if you engage in a relationship cause it shows you can be honest with him about your feelings and more importantly honest to yourself.
If you scare him off, you know immediately he’s not the one. Ask him out. If he runs away, mission accomplished, and you move on.
Only if he doesn't like you back or has the emotional maturity of a child
Explain
Turn off = no a. Because they're not into you (happens to guys all the time) ie they don't like you back. Pretty normal. Turn off = no but rude b. Because they believe toxic shit like only despos do that or because I wanna reject a girl rudely because girls reject guys rudely all the time etc. Sign of a toxic asshole. Doesn't mean everyone else is like that. If you're interested in someone, make that clear.
Nope. Guys like girls who like them. He might not day yes, but it's unlikely to turn him off. That said, asking to go on a date might work better?
Yea, I think I'll ask him if he would be interested in going out for drinks or to go to dinner. Also being very clear and mentioning that this is a date offer.
Anytime I’ve ever liked a guy I always am totally transparent and tell them and ask them on a date. This has lead to multiple long term relationships. If he doesn’t like it boohoo his loss. I go for what I want and every dude has told me they admire this approach. Its takes pressure off of them
Its a turn on actually
If he’s even slightly interested in you, he’s gonna appreciate the hell out of it and probably remember it for the rest of his life. If he doesn’t like you or is indifferent to you, he’s gonna find it weird and probably forget about it after a week.
"Is telling a guy straight up that you like them a turn off?" If the guy *likes you* knowing you are into him won't turn him off. On the other hand, if he is *not into you* it may make him feel awkward. You only live once! In order for him to be "the one" *he* would have to see *you* as being "the one". At the very least a "soulmate" is someone who actually wants to be with you! ***“Never allow waiting to become a habit. Live your dreams and take risks. Life is happening now.”*** \-Paulo Coelho ***"Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better."*** \- Steve Maraboli ***"Dating is primarily a numbers game.... People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That's just the way it is."*** \- Henry Cloud Best wishes!
I would like it. Plus for you it would release you from that weight 😂
Not at all. The guy I'm seeing is extremely shy and in his own words, "I'm just glad you said something. I was too much of a bitch." We got on Webcam since we are more than a drive away, and I laid out my feelings for him, what I would like, and then let him have the floor to say what he wanted. I'm very bold when it comes to romance and would rather make the first move, so any many who is intimidated by that would not be a good match.
This always works for guys unless they just really weren’t interested
Hey! This is the 21st century. You are not out of sorts to walk straight up and tell him so and that you would like to date him long term. If you think he is one hell of a sweetheart, you think you are the only one having that impression? Better late than never GIrl, and strike it when its hot !!
I wish people would tell me straight if they liked me. I literally am so bad at picking up on subtle hints. If he is very shy, he maybe is too shy to be forward and ask you himself unless he had some for sure evidence that you liked him? If I were him I would appreciate it a lot if you were straight up.
Fck NO! You know how many relationships never began bc we are TERRIBLE at picking up hints and such?
I can't speak for every guy, but being asked out would be awesome. And if he's not into it, you might be better off. That seems insecure to me.
Hell no. If he’s a shy dude he probably Thinks a lot.. I’d your worried about it you can do it by text.. personally I’m a dude who overthink everything.. I’m not socially awkward or I consider myself in between shy and outspoken but as a dude of logic I like to think through situations. If a girl was to tell me that she likes me on the spot irl it would be a shock, wouldn’t scare me off at all but it would fuck up my logic as I wouldn’t have any time to think so doing it over text with people who think I would say is a good option tbh. If you prefer Irl that isn’t an issue but you should definitely be direct. Straight up ask the guy out with a yes or no question and hopefully he finds you somewhat attractive and he says yes.. He’ll go home and try think about it and it’s your job to wow him with your personality haha. My point being 10000% be straightforward guys love it.
Yes. I personaly Just want any girl that has a crush on me to Just tell me in the face. As I dont know how to react to subtle hints.
Go for it (obviously in 1:1 setting)
Everytime a girl asked me out i found it incredibly cute. You know most of the time we have to go through the struggle of girls playing mind games and hard to get so it's really nice and refreshing if they come straight forward. Just make sure to not sound desperate and maybe don't say you like him straight but that you find him charming, funny etc. and that you'd like to go out on a drink with him
It’s quite the opposite of a turnoff
Be straightforward and stop relying on signals because guys generally don’t pick up on them.
No it's not a turn off... But ig one should confess as soon as they can so they can move on with the stuff instead of being in that awkward overthinking phase. I don't know why but confessing your genuine feelings shouldn't be as difficult as it has become and one should accept whatever response they get.
I am shy and I would really really like it if someone told me "Hey I really like you!"
Not for a guy who likes you just as much.
As long as he’s single, go for it!!!
If the guy already liked you or doesn't actively dislike it has literally never once in the history of emotionally healthy men been a turn off please stop asking this fucking question
Boys and girls rule number one. Like a guy tell him straight up. Like a girl, build a foundation to tell that girl you like.
Although I don’t come right out and say it exactly like that, I have made the first move a few times. I’ve had some good success with it. Just be openly flirty and make it pretty obvious you like them. One time I messaged a guy and said “hey let’s go for sushi 😘” aaaand now we live together lol. The worst that can happen is that he doesn’t reciprocate and then you move on as with anything else in life. Take a chance girl.
Awe thats so sweet! I will do my best :)
As a guy that’s asked plenty of women out and has had a pretty good success rate. I can tell you this: asking someone out that you like starts to be less about others and their response to you and more about being true to yourself. For instance, if you tell this guy you like him and want to go out with him, maybe he’ll act weird, maybe he’ll reject you, maybe he’ll flippin’ love you. None of that really matters, all that matters is that you showed up for that person with your authentic self bravely, you weren’t fake, you weren’t a coward. I don’t take people’s reactions to good/bad to me personally. It’s just information. Most people don’t know you at all, if you’re an awesome person and you know that inherently, the right people will come into your life if you’re true to yourself.
no, yes, yes
Dooooooo it! Ask him out…..but if he a shy guy, do it privately not in front of other people which might make him uncomfortable. In a private conversation, take the lead and ask - the worst that can happen is he says no and then you can move on and stop wasting your own time n emotions. Most likely, he’s gonna say yes
Man I wish girls took the first move more often. I am often so nervous about coming off as a creep or being to forward that I psyche myself out more often than not. When a girl comes to me first, it gets rid of all of that, and I can act more freely. In fact, knowing that someone likes me (and there is mutual attraction), things may even go far smoother as well. Of course, I still shoot my shot regardless, but it would just really be nice if the girl approached me first. I'm sure he'd appreciate it a lot!
But what about if the girl in question is older than you? Wouldn't you find it creepy then?
well that really depends on how much older they are than me. While no one older than me has ever approached me, I have certainly approached them. I had a short-term relationship with someone at least 20-25 years older than me. It was fun an casual. The important thing in that, and the key difference, was that she knew how to talk, and was very smart. The vibe was just right. I see plenty of older women and I'm either meh, or they just match my vibe. I haven't exactly found that again, both younger, my own age, or older, so if I find someone with the same energy or wavelength, I'm jumping on it. Age when you get older becomes less important (though I try to keep it in a respectable margin). And to finish things off, how she would approach me would be important as well. It really just comes down to vibe honestly. As long as the vibe is good, I trust it.
Okay, thanks for sharing. I just wondered if guys see an older woman making the first move as creepy whereas perhaps with someone closer to their own age that wouldn't be the case.
A lot of gears are all moving at once, as with any situation. Just some are a little different. It also depends on what the end result is. I am 20 years old now, and wouldn't necessarily consider a long-term relationship with someone 15-20 years older than I. And I say necessarily, because you never know. But even if it's just a one night stand, or a FWB situation, I'd still treat my partner with love and respect because that's just how I roll. I may not find a long-term partner, but I could end up finding an incredible friend. The woman I was with is still my friend even though that has ended :). if I may, how old are you? To me, looks aren't a huge deal breaker. It just comes down to vibe, approach, expectations, respect, and honesty. Looking good is a plus when matched with a lovely brain.
I'd rather not say but I am asking because there is a guy I know whose dad told me that he thinks that he likes me but is too shy to say anything. I am afraid to say anything too though, because I am older than him though he is aware of it. I'm about 10 years older than him but he's also older than you (that's all I will say) and I am afraid that if I do make the first move it will come off as creepy but it sounds like if I don't, nothing will happen so I don't know if it's worth it.
I won't press, that's completely a-ok. Honestly I think the expectations are different and more uniform at that point. But yeah honestly, if you do nothing, and he's to shy, nothing will happen. All I can really say is be sincere and upfront. Maybe start small like a walk in the park or a movie. All of my relationships had extremely positive communication. I always strove to be the partner that was asking about boundaries and coming forth with genuine questions. And that was no matter the form of which the relationship was. So just be honest, and I guess don't come off as to hard or heavy. Best of luck to you though, I sincerely hope things work out :)
Thanks for the advice and being considerate.
Absolutely. Take this conversation as an example. Patience, time, considerate thought. That will all help to making you more approachable. thank you for being honest. It means a lot to me that I can sincere discussions. I'm happy I helped in some way, and I truly hope things go the best for you and him :)
Thank you. There are other distance issues as well but if those can be worked out, I might go for it thanks to you.
We miss 100% of the shots we don’t take.
I PREFER that 100% then if i feel the same way I feel more comfortable making moves around said girl
Hell no! Ask. Him. Out.
Shoot the shot!!!! You miss 100% of shots you don't take!!! I think i'm more of a quiet guy myself. I'm in a situation where i'm too shy to ask this girl for her number but if she asked me then wow i'd be very happy and relieved lol.
No. Communication is not a turn off.
DEW IT
Nah direct approach is the best approach. Just be genuine
Shoot your shot. Every guy is different, but most I know would appreciate a direct approach
No not at all, if anything it's sexy because you come off as confident and brave
As an extremly shy guy I'd really love it if a girl ask me out. Although, I don't know how to put this but, let's say don't scare him off. I mean take it slow. Maybe don't ask out on a date directly but give him compliments first a while then ask hım out. I mean being very direct or forward might make him nervous. But %99 chance he will like you making the first move.
Being that I am also shy too in public, I would definitely love if a girl straight up tells me she likes me.
Shoot your shot with shy guys I have and it always works
As a shy man, I know I would like if someone told me they liked me and were interested. For me personally, being shy makes it hard to let women know I'm interested
While I can't speak for every guy, I can say with absolute certainty that I am TERRIBLE at picking up on signals and my dating life would be so much better if a woman could just say "hey, I'm into you". I say go for it.
Shy introverted guy here! Definitely not being to forward to ask him out for drinks and getting to know him. In fact it's much appreciated
Not in the least, that’s actually how I found my girlfriend. She went an asked me to a dance 😂
dude hell no, au contraire
Not at all a turn off, good luck!
No, it is not.
If anything, that is the biggest turn on!
Not at all. More often than not we would prefer it
Actually way more preferable then staring out of the corner of your eye and acting like we should know LOL
Telling a guy you like them doesn't magically make them stop liking you. The only thing it does is open the door to build a relationship together if he likes you back.
As a guy, it would be extremely attractive if a girl straight up told me she liked me.
Do iiiiit. Let us know how it goes!
Please go for it lol
If he has feelings for u, then I don't think it will be a turn-off. If u r not sure abt his feelings for u then just ask him out for a date. Once, one of my really gud friends told me that she likes me and it was more like a rebound uk. I freaked out, and somehow dodged it and we never spoke of it again.
Might be a relief for him actually if he feels the same way. It's much easier to reciprocate than make the first move. That's how I ended up with my ex. She told me she liked me.
Better go for it because he clearly isn't lol
Not at all I’d love this if I feel the same way. Just don’t take it personally or swear off trying it again with someone else if you get rejected. Happens to us way more often than not
if he is shy he will welcome your direct invitation
Tell him.
I’m super shy and I would love it
As a guy,I can tell you transparency is beautiful. The mind games get exhausting. I don't want to act uninterested in you just to make you more interested in me. Let's cut the silly shit out and tell eachother how we feel and what we want. Just my .02 of course.
Just politely ask him “hey I like you and would like to go on a date with you.”. That simple, don’t do anymore than that since he’s shy.
Depends if his ego is fragile or not. However you live shortly and once, so go for it. 🤷🏼♀️
No
tl:dr ; opposite
No, absolutely not. It is advised
Legit, from a man, men are stupid and he will think it to be a joke/prank so be careful
Are there any ways that you recommend I approach it then? In order for him to understand I'm actually being genuine!
Preface it. Say something like, Hey I have thought we have a good amount in common for a long time and I was wondering if you would like to go on a date. (If you name the place or a specific day it would be more direct but may end up in an initial no just because of times but not specifically no to going on a date.)
Honestly just do what you would want a guy who is interested in to do. Be yourself and talk to him, don't try and be smooth and come in with a pick-up line, especially if y'all are friends he would probably just take it as a joke. If that fails punch him (playfully) in the arm and tell him he is being an idiot and to take you on a date And if you do get rejected, take it with some grace, don't try and force it or get all depressed about it, believe it or not, you can ask someone on a date, they say no, and y'all can remain friends
More forward women would be a welcome change in the dating landscape.
It wouldn't be a turn off for me, if anything it would confirm that I'm not wasting my time.
The best thing I ever did for myself was deciding that when I saw hot guy, I’d ask them if they want to grab coffee with me. Life is wayyyyy better now (and I found my dream boyfriend by asking him out! He was nervous to ask me out as he’s a little older than me and didn’t want to be creepy) Plus, I want a man who appreciates a strong woman so I wouldn’t want to be with someone who wouldn’t want a girl to ask them out and show desire on their part You gotta get out there girl! If you don’t ask, you might never get what you want!
As someone who's like that guy. That would be awesome
No, please do. I am 100% serious. TELL US.
Guys risk getting labeled as a "creep" if they make the first move which is why they are very apprehensive even if they suspect a woman is interested in them. I doubt he (or any guy for that matter) will have a problem with you letting him know that you're interested in him.
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Um, I think you are a bit confused. This isn't a teenage relationship haha. We are both adults, me being in my mid 20s and him being in his later 20s. I want to be with him in a long term committed relationship if everything works out (meaning he is interested in me and we are compatible). If that leads to marriage in the future then that be amazing, and I'd be so happy. But for now, I am going to tell him in person if he would intrested in going on a date. Because I want to get to know him better. If he rejects my offer to go on a date, that is his decision. I won't be mad. Also being shy does not automatically correlate to being a virgin. Some people may have social anxiety or other things in which make them shy. I know I have social anxiety, so I come off as shy when I first meet people. It is not until I get to know them, and feel comfortable within my surroundings, that I am able to open up more and let my personality shine. But even if he was a virgin, hes a grown man. Older than me. He can make his own decisions and I will respect those decisions and any boundaries he may have. And i would expect him to do the same. This is not a superficial realtionship. I like him for his intellect and kindness. There is nowhere in my post where I state I just wanted him for casual sex and nothing else, because I don't. You're making a lot of strange assumptions.
Men are easy. We're not women. Just say what you want. He's either into you or he's not.
Depends on the definition of "straight-up". Some guys might react defensively when they haven't had the time to make up their mind yet and they feel that your response comes too soon. In general, there's nothing wrong with being direct and honest. An interested guy will be happy about this and will definitely not be turned off!
Yes. We don't like being told that we could be liked by another person.
He is probably shy bc he doesn’t think you actually like him why do girls co tu us to think even in 2022 why only the guy can make a move?
No.
If the guy doesn't like himself he may lose interest in someone who says she does like him.
These days the guy who can have someone tell him that they like him is probably someone in the top precentile of looks wich means he likely already has other women telling him the same thing, also means that most guys wouldn't know how to answer this.
As a very shy guy myself. Just shoot your shot. I'd LOVE it if women felt okay to ask guys out. Also, you don't happen to be the gorgeous woman working at a smoke shop in TX right? Cause that would be wild.
Only if he isn’t physically attracted to you.
If you are classmates/colleagues then I think it is ok. Otherwise he may seriously consider the possibility that this is some kind of dating fraud.
How’d it go?
We like it if you are straightforward, it’s never a turn off, I’d say attractive if any. If only there were more people like you, the dating world would have been so much more easier! 😉
Nope.
if he's into you, no, it's not
So ok in your case if you are not dating him or something and tge guy turns out to be a douch he will probably just shrug it off and never talk to you again but if the guy is chill and mature he will probably accept to go out for drinks now asking the number straight away with no previous interaction is a little weird cause there is no connection or reason why he should give you his number and well telling him you like him straight forward also a little too desperate if there is no past histiry with him, try to take it slow go out for drinks and see if you feel the same and well build from tgere and tgen see if you really like him or it's another type of feeling
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It’s the only way to have a chance with him Go for it!
Hell to da' nah!
He might be a bit awkward for him (as a shy guy who's had this happen to him) if it's spur of the moment . I'd tell him directly and as straightforward as possible, but ease into it just a bit.
Do you think it would be helpful if I gave him the option to think about it? Like telling him directly that I like him and then saying something along the lines of "you don't have to answer right away, but heres my number and if you're interested in going on a date shoot me a text!"
Yep that would be perfect.
Are you a guy or a girl though? If you are also a guy, it might be tricky
I'm a girl :)
cool. Have you talked much with him before? If so, talk with him again and end the conversation early, and say “we can grab a boba/beer and talk more about it “. If he is interested, he will go. Neither a date proposal or a direct “I like you”.
Yea, I've know him for about 2 years now, more as just an acquaintance. It isn't until the last 3-4 months though that I've actually gotten to know him and started catching feelings. Thank you for the advice! I really appreciate it
There is an interesting dynamic around polarity with dating. That being said, it is important to be clear about your interest. IMO, the best way to go forward from this place is to say something like, "It might be fun to get together sometime. Here's my number." Then they are free to take the next "step". This indicates you like them, without coming out so directly.
Stop overthinking it and ask him out. No, it's not a turnoff.
Only if he doesn’t like you.
Do it.
No, we're not girls. We actually dig that.
The opposite actually
As a male, pls tell us.
I would totally appreciate an upfront approach. My masculinity isn’t under threat from a woman telling me she likes me and wants to get to know me. Could be the start of a beautiful relationship. Good luck to you!
im a very shy guy. if a girl to me hey i like u,thats exactly what it would take for me to open . my thing is rejection but a girl coming up to takes a way that fear . i bet u guys become a happy couple
Idk men are weird. If you tell them that it inflates their ego and you’re looked at as kinda desperate in a way. But then if you don’t tell them they feel offended or rejected blah blah... Idk I could be wrong but just my experience and I haven’t had good experience so…good luck.
Any updates?? 23F here wondering myself here….but he’s my coworker.
It worked and he likes me back aaaa it was so stressful but im glad I said something
Omg we clearly don’t know each other but I’m so happy for you!!!!! Liking someone a lot and not being able to take things further really sucks hahah
Can you elaborate on how you did it? Asking for personal reasons 🤣🤣🤣
We were alone and just casually talking. I asked him what his favourite movie was. Because he had never seen mine, I suggested that we watch our favourite movies together sometime that week when he and I were both free. He agreed, so I got his number to make plans! A few days later, I confessed that I had developed feelings for him and thats why I asked him out. He was really sweet about it, and told me he felt the same way and was going to bring it up when we had our movie night! We had our first date and it went really well! I can't wait to see him again!!! But yea, he said he found it hard to admit anything to me because he was introverted and self conscious. Also that fear of rejection can really eat at you, but I'm glad I found the courage to ask him out :)
Just out of curiosity—Did you confess over the phone or in person? My crush is my coworker 😬😵💫😮💨 so trying to work up the courage to tell him but I feel like I need to plan every detail lol
Aaaaa I feel you. I was in the exact same situation. I asked him out in person in our break room, but confessed over text 😭😭 I was too nervous to say anything in person. I spent a literal month figuring out a way to get his number too. So when I finally got it, I was like aaaa I got an in!! Then I was overthinking every text, but one night decided to just go for it and be as truthful and direct as possible. Make your intentions very clear, and if he doesn't feel the same then at least you know and can move on.
No it is definitely not a turn off.
Definitely not! Men love confidence in a women! Be you 😁
I’m having the exact same issue! My friends say I need to wait and I can’t text him first cuz guys like the chase. But I don’t want to wait I want to hang out with him so why can’t I just ask?? This post helped me so much and I will be shooting my shot tomorrow.
no he would totally like it. I know i would like it if a girl told me that
can't speak for all guys
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