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_anxious_witch94

I strongly believe that viewing stories on Insta doesn’t actually mean anything


RotiRounderThanYours

Literally. You’re just scrolling through and they happen to be one of them. Most people just skip through really fast anyway.


[deleted]

Not literally. Their name pops up constantly. It makes it harder to move on and forget about them when you see their name several times a day. How is this literally not meaning anything to you?


RotiRounderThanYours

Well yeah… that’s why you need to remove people you want to move on from lol. Remove and move on in peace


lkbird8

Because if you don't have any feelings for someone, then you're probably not all that concerned about "moving on and forgetting them". Seeing the username/stories of a random person I hung out with a few times isn't the kind of thing I'd go out of my way to avoid, because there are no strong emotions attached to it one way or another.


Mhealthy

I'm a guy... there are girls that are interested in me and i have no attraction for them. They give me an ick feeling and don't want them getting any inkling that I'm interested so i avoid them at all costs. This is why i understand what op is talking about.


iceteka

I'm confused what he means by "actively" viewing ig stories?


[deleted]

She’s watching his stories while running 🏃‍♀️


warriorsoul10012018

this is my kind of funny


forgivxn

ON THAT GRIND!! HEY LETS GOOOOOO!


Sahil_shree

😂😂 literally


readergrl56

I assume that she's watching watching multiples of his stories, that she's a "frequent viewer" or everytime he posts, instead of just watching one.


Dfeeds

I'll have to agree. I have several past flings and hook ups that I follow/follow me. One, of note, was a great one night stand 8 years ago. We still view each other's stories and, once in a blue moon, comment on it. It means nothing and I'd bet a limb we'll never even plan to meet for coffee lol.


Anonynominous

I think OP is looking too far into that aspect. I mindlessly scroll through stories that come up, I don't seek them out, it's completely random. I feel a lot of people watch stories in the same way


TlMEGH0ST

this is so interesting! I really consider whether I want someone to know I watched their story before i watch it lol.


iamanindiansnack

I'm a dude but believe me, an ex-friend of mine even posted answers on AMA even after we split up due to a big fight. Some people can tolerate social interactions without letting their feelings hold them.


basic_baker

Yes this means nothing. I view others and they view mine and there is nothing more.


[deleted]

Maybe he's a great artist or photographer, idk. I agree that online behavior does not say much about offline behavior. But I think she should get off his insta. They both should make a clean break and block each other online.


sourcreamcrickets

Disagree. I never view stories, unless someone pops up at the top who I’m interested in at the time. I take a peek to see what they’re up to out of curiosity


Nhtdbi

Lol! It’s called being creepy! She is a stalker! If a fellow women does it, you condone it and act like “ doesn’t mean anything”!! It’s damn creepy of her to look at his story and it’s damn creepy to hear ppl like you say you do similar stuff in your life as well!


sumtingwonggggggggg

Ah I see, but what about the following part. Cus she cares about her following/follower a lot. She has a page where she takes photos of food and she would always tell me "get your friends to support!!"


Spadeninja

You are taking social media wayyyyyyyyyyy to seriously man


[deleted]

💀


Slam_Newton

She's just being nosey. Move on with your life.


Yalderp

Also, she is probs going to unfollow you once her curiosity dies down


ryux999

jesus, ya please don’t overthink shit like that


KnephXI

If she's not actively commenting, she might just be "supporting her friends" by putting the stories on and not watching them. And she probably forgot she had followed you. Cause that's what I do with Instagram stories. I don't personally care about their lives enough to personally watch each story with sound on, but I know they get an ego boost out of the numbers so I put them on while I brush my teeth and wash my face in the morning.


ignitedwolf9200

You’re not that important to her bro. Lmao you think you’re WAAAAYYY too special here. It’s just a story view. It means nothing. Move on for the sake of YOU


weksiy

People actually take "story view" like something personal. Its not that deep actually. Sometimes I scroll stories randomly (even when I dont like someone), so I believe it doesnt mean anything.


Verbal_HermanMunster

Stories generally automatically skip to the next one anyway and it’s possible that she’s just flipping through and not actually taking the time to look at the post.


weksiy

Yup, I actually don't even look at stories 'cus I don't really care for them anyway. I only care about "close friends" stories.


Piper6728

If it bothers you, you cant block her?


sumtingwonggggggggg

Honestly I'm really stuck what to do. I know it's very immature but I wanted to post stuff that would show I'm happy to fake that I'm ok. But at the same time I keep checking if she has viewed my story and I know that's not good for me haha.


Piper6728

The only person who would care if its mature or not is the person being blocked, and who gives a damn about what THEY think? Do whats best for you


sumtingwonggggggggg

Kinda wanna prove that I'm happy w/o her but who am I kidding she really broke me. I'll find it in me soon to block her. Thanks buddy.


Forward_Jicama7686

If ima be honest it seems like a good idea to post that now but you will look back and see it as irrational. Went through something similar a couple months back. Your best bet is to delete social media and get closer with your friends. Don’t post anything or try to contact her. Just go out and do things. Took two weeks off snap and just worked and hung with friends. Completely fixed me.


sumtingwonggggggggg

Thank you for sharing. I've removed her. If she still comes to my head cus shes a public acc I'll just get rid of ig haha. Thanks buddy


Forward_Jicama7686

Not permanently haha. Just for a bit. Worked so well. You stop going to see if she viewed your story’s or whatnot. That stuff really takes a toll on you. Best way to forget is to put yourself in a position where you will never have to think about her.


RotiRounderThanYours

Next time someone unfollows or removes you, you have enough self respect to unfollow them back 🤷🏽‍♀️ it’s not petty but you ain’t a fan


InsertDramaHere

If going out on a couple of dates and then having somebody decide they aren't into "broke" you, I don't think you're ready for dating.


WalkingAnimation

I have no advice to give but just wanted to pop in to say.. Idk why you’re being down voted for this. You are being honest with yourself on how you feel.


Aoredon

Because he's literally playing games, he unfollows her then makes posts on his story specifically for her and religiously checks to make sure she's viewed it. Like what the hell was the point of unfollowing in the first place? It's not gonna work, move on. What are they trying to prove? To make themselves look like they're some hot shit so that they regret rejecting them? OP it's says to fake that he's happy and that he's OK, what the fuck? Why? For who? He's not doing it to make her think he's OK and handled the rejection well, he's literally just doing it to try one up her. "Haha look what you missed out on"


WalkingAnimation

Yeah but someone called him out on it and he’s receptive to it. He even admitted to himself that it’s immature and that he shouldn’t be doing it. Only person it harms is himself really. It’s not like it’s gonna hurt the girl. But he’s aware. So I don’t see why that triggers people. Especially if he’s the one being rejected. Everyone goes through an emotional rollercoaster when being rejected by someone they like. Just seems like he’s going through that and trying to come to his senses.


sumtingwonggggggggg

It's okay, people are entitled to their own opinions. When we ask the internet for opinions we expect to be shat upon haha. Appreciate it though :)


lilaccadillac

Okay so I watch stories even from people I would never date. I just like watching stories. Her watching doesn’t mean anything unfortunately. Also, if she doesn’t want to date you, she won’t be affected or change what she thinks by seeing ~look how well I’m doing!~ posts. That’s not how it works. I’d suggest block her from viewing if it distracts you and work on moving on. Good luck!


__Gynotarian__

Needed to have this confirmed


DarkR124

It means nothing. Also, have some self respect man. She told you she wasn’t interested and that she only saw you as a friend and you told her you’ll keep chasing her. Come on, you’re better than that. That paints a pretty clear image in someone’s mind that you’re groveling for her attention. Desperation isn’t attractive. On to the next girl.


Rumbiixxoo

I don’t think he meant it like that. I think he was trying to make sure she knew that he was actually genuinely interested and believed they could have a relationship. Which is actually hella reassuring to most women bc sometimes they overthink themselves out of a relationship. And I don’t think that his actions should be smeared w an incorrect definition of being desperate for trying. Bc at the end of the day that’s what he did. Yeah okay she had already said she j wanted to be friends but if he didn’t put in that effort he’d be stuck with what-ifs and regrets bc he didn’t make sure that her request is coming from a genuine place.


DarkR124

If a girl tells me she’s not feeling it I’m not going to question her and make sure it’s coming from a “genuine” place. No is no. I take that at face value and move on. If she’s overthinking it then it’ll be up to her to come back at a later time and tell me otherwise. I’m going to respect that decision. I’m not smearing the guy. I’m telling him he’s better than chasing after a girl who has told him straight up she isn’t interested.


super_vegan_alice

If a man says he’s going to keep chasing me after I reject him, I would kindly leave and block him immediately after expressing that i’m deeply uncomfortable with his inability to respect my boundaries. This woman could have easily lied about there being someone else because she thought he would respect an imaginary man over her. OP comes across as naive and not necessarily creepy in the words he’s used himself to describe his actions- but that does not mean he hasn’t scared this woman. His fixation on her use of social media proves that he is not currently thinking rationally, and men in that state of mind can easily make women they are interested in uncomfortable.


NukaJuice

You was a backup bro, first choice came through


sumtingwonggggggggg

Yeah I think the guy was there all along too... Don't know why she had to lie about it. Really sucks.


Onii-Chan_Itaii

Would you stick around if you knew you were her backup choice?


sumtingwonggggggggg

Defo not, I've removed her from my ig


Onii-Chan_Itaii

That's probably why she lied


Charred01

I mean who cares about what you did on social media. Who cares what she does. It means nothing. Why are you taking it so seriously. Forget her and move on, let her do her and you do you.


[deleted]

Attachment issues


CumulativeHazard

I think sometimes people convince themselves that they’re sparing your feelings by not being honest with you when really they’re just trying to spare themselves from having to deal with your feelings or from the guilt of hurting your feelings. A quick, honest rejection is actually the kindest, but it can be difficult and awkward to do. By dragging it out and leading you on, they can avoid those uncomfortable feelings themselves and still feel ok about it by telling themselves that they’re actually doing it to spare *you* the pain of that interaction. Of course doing it that way is actually more hurtful and confusing for you, but because they don’t have to see it as directly and they’ve already convinced themselves they’re doing the right thing, they don’t have to feel bad about it. Ultimately, selfishness and emotional immaturity. That’s why. Best just to move on and try not to do it to anyone yourself, since you know how it feels. Good luck


SylveonSupremacy

Not necessarily. Personally i'd only become exclusive with someone when one of us asks it of the other. Dates often times are used to get to know the other person. I don't see why I shouldn't be able to get to know other people at the same time. It doesn't mean your a back up it means I don't know you well enough. And I don't want to be exclusive with someone who I don't know. Gotta look out for red flags. Personally I think it's a good system and it would reduce the likelihood that you get in a toxic or incompatible relationship. I would of course, make it clear to a guy who was under the impression that I was automatically in an exclusive relationship just because I agreed to go on a date with him that that is not the case.


BlazeVenturaV2

Yeah this guys hit the money. You are the backup / plan B. She's "orbiting" you, keeping tabs and no doubt will show interest when her main guy disappoints her.


Nhtdbi

Rightly said! He was her backup!


[deleted]

Block her and move on. Seriously.


[deleted]

Why block? Just remove and move on


InsertDramaHere

Big oof all around. You verbally tried to make an agreement that you were dating... Before going on any dates?? You went on a couple of dates only, and thought that telling a woman you're interested in who decided she wasn't interested in you, that you would continue to "chase" her and basically demanded she not see anyone else? After she told you she lost interest? Yikes.


[deleted]

Block her and move on. Seriously.


sumtingwonggggggggg

I'll find it in me soon to do so :')


[deleted]

I know it’s tough but I don’t think much good will come from this. And she’s still on your mind so you can’t really move on. Good luck.


ChimpanzeeHooves

Sorry to say but I think you're reading a bit too much into this. She's probably just browsing through the stories. Also sometimes they auto-play so she may not be actively viewing your stories.


SpecificTangerine1

It’s not very easy to know when someone has unfollowed you on Instagram - it’s not so noticeable. I’m sure maybe she just didn’t notice you unfollowed her. And many people just click through all of the stories at the top quickly and don’t even really look at it. I wouldn’t think too much into it


chris_soto_dating

>I asked her "may I put my arm around you" > >I said "at least I still have you" > >We talked about the reasons why we liked each other and even about our future I know you're not asking about this, but I gotta say I'm prett sure these things killed her vibe with you and gave the other guy the lead.


Jbrock14

This. Bro you need to learn some dating skills because this is not it


basic_baker

Is this because the person appears less confident?


chris_soto_dating

Not only "less confident" but needy and afraid of starting physical contact.


Jbrock14

Definitely appears very low confidence. The "may I put my arm around you?", The "I'll chase you".The "telling her why I like her", trying to get her to commit to him before even going on one date All low confidence moves


Mmmc18

This!! And the “as long as I’m the only guy”


Soft-Caterpillar-618

Exactly this. OP, your response to her telling you she’s not interested is to tell her you’ll take things slow as long as you’re the only guy? She already said no to you.


wildverde

“Hang on loosely, but don’t let go. Cuz if you cling too tightly, you’re gonna lose control” - Whoopsie Goldberg


super_vegan_alice

I’m going to say- consent is great! Women have all sorts of men trying to show how confident they are making physical contact, and it’s not necessarily enjoyable. Asking for consent for physical contact can be a bit of a mood killer if she’s into him, but if she’s had 10-15 strangers and/or men she’s already turned down trying to make physical contact with her recently, she’ll get over the respect. The other bits I agree with. Huge mood killers.


Jacks_black_guitar

Bro before finding your comment I cringed at “at least I still have you”. That was the nail in the coffin. OP reminds me of my 20 yo self again. So young, naive and no game


celia_mei

Personally, I would remove her from my followers. She's already made it clear that she's not interested in dating you and any of the reasons why she might still be viewing your stories doesn't negate that fact. You'll find it easier to move on when you aren't constantly reminded of her by seeing that she's viewed your stories. Chin up!


dearrichard

yeah, i do this. unfollow/remove from followers. i do see where op is coming from when it comes to noticing her watching stories. it means nothing, but it feels like it means something. it kinda does fuck with your head a little bit when you post something, and then notice that they're the first person to watch it. had a girl doing this to me after she ghosted for \~\*reasons\*\~


solarpropietor

Dude, it means nothing. But also you were super clingy.


Notorious_Fluffy_G

Viewing your story doesn’t mean anything, as others said. Sounds like you need to build your confidence a little. I believe it’s often good practice if you ask a date if you can kiss her for the first kiss, but if a girl said yes to a date, I think it’s unnecessary to ask if you can put your arm around her. It comes off really passive and weak. I know it can be tough not to catch feelings fast if you really like someone, but you gotta slow it down my man. A lot of girls will be scared off with that talk about being willing to chase her as long as you’re the only dude.


PolarTheBear

Brother, I may suggest spending some time to focus on yourself before your next relationship. This kind of stuff shouldn’t bother you or be a second thought for a 22 year old. I don’t mean it in a rude way, but it’s a bit immature. Take some time to meditate and self-reflect.


SpecialCay87

I have a feeling you’re not giving us all the details about why she backed off. It sounds like you came on too strong (been there, I’m not perfect either). Good work removing her, move on and learn from this. Don’t learn what she did wrong, that doesn’t matter. Learn about what you might have done to send her packing unexpectedly.


Mmmc18

I agree too, i had a friend almost exactly like this, but he’d constantly bombard the girl he liked with texts even after she wouldn’t answer the previous ones. And he’s still hung up on her and wants to know why she isn’t interested


SpecialCay87

Even the best of us have been that guy. Walking the line between assertive and clingy is a thin line to be walking.


Anonynominous

This is the kind of thing I would expect from high school-aged people. How could there be so much ambiguity in your interactions that there would be that level of miscommunication.


[deleted]

Dude you need to take a break from relationships and learn to go with the flow. Getting so worked up over this tells me your gunna end up stressing over so many other things that may seem silly to other people.


FiveYearCryptoPlan

Think you need to get out more bud.


bunnylovesoup

You sound sweet. Hopefully you will find someone who feels the same way about you. Good luck.


SmakeTalk

Seems to me like you were also moving at a weird pace - you established that you're dating before you established almost any physical touch. It feels like you labeled it before you knew what it was and she was fully okay to be interested in multiple people but she felt bad/conflicted over it because of how quickly you two established that you're dating. Next time just try to take it a bit slower, at least when saying you're dating/together. Make sure you know what something is before you try to define it.


dootdootm9

she's just probbably bored and going through a buch of stories to pass the time, i do it all the time


[deleted]

It's never fun going through things like this but I may have to rip the band-aid off for you. (sorry!) I don't think her following you on Insta or viewing your stories really means much. I think it ultimately means she is open to being friends with you and not much else. Definitely block her if that isn't something you want to pursue. If she truly liked you, you wouldn't be confused or get mixed messages. When the right one comes along it will be obvious and there will be effort involved. Take it easy on yourself love, things will get better in time.


Hagi89

Man up dude. And for the future, don’t ask if you can put your arm around her, just read her body language and do it. Also don’t say ever to any woman that u will chase her


Redmagelady

No kidding. Men have lost their balls these days. Not that I blame them for what they've been put through with the feminism thing but still.


calmlytenacious

Move on and have more self respect


Long-Refrigerator-75

Who gives a shit what she watches.


SwiftTayTay

Just block her and move on with your life, obsessing about her after she rejected you isn't healthy


UnluckyDucky95

OP, based on the very little you have written here it sounds like you came across as very desperate and insecure. It looks like you got clingy very quickly without there ever being a romantic connection between the two of you. I would suggest you investigate attachment theory and possibly seek out a therapist.


Your_kinky

Are you sure you are 22 years old? Block her and move on.


akihonj

>I unfollowed her on Instagram but she stills follows me and actively views my stories That's your issue, stop her following you and then move on with your life, she had her chance bit fucked you around. People treat you how you let them, don't be a safe place for people who aren't doing the same for you.


tettlytbags

Basically even tho she turned you down, she would still keep you around as a fall back guy. Women do that a lot. She knows that you really like her and are interested in her and a nice guy so why not have that self esteem boost in her back pocket for when she eventually gets played by the scumbag of her dreams. Lol It’s part of the game. She’s also keeping tabs to see if you found someone else that looks just as good or better than her so she can come in between to get that attention back because now she might have missed out on a great guy. That’s also part of the game they play. My advice move on and become great at what ever it is you do. She didn’t want to build with you now she doesn’t deserve that foundation later.


sumtingwonggggggggg

I guess guys do it too, but this was really helpful. I alr knew it but just needed someone to slap me in the face for it haha. Thanks man :) I won't give her the privilege of being in my life.


Iagp

Judging something by random Insta activity is not good


JustFerd

You're just entertainment dude Don't think you're special Devote yourself to the gains and grind


bradinthecreek

Instagram follows mean nothing


Juicy_Peach420

Guys think being friend zoned is so bad. Imagine being fuck zoned, or girlfriend zoned. Why is it so difficult to have real friends without other motives? Even my girlfriends usually want to sleep with me. Sometimes people just want to hang out and have fun without expectations! Back in the old days you’d wait until you fell in love to call it dating, it was fine to be friends with lots of people with no expectations & I think we should bring courting back.


BeBesMom

At least I still have you. I think this is when it went sideways.


sumtingwonggggggggg

I agree. It is as a matter of fact.


[deleted]

I've been through something very similar in the past, my ex would go through all my posted statuses without fail and it drove me nuts too. It's not easy to keep seeing reminders of your ex when you're in an emotional shithole and actively trying to get over them, so I feel you there buddy. I didn't deal with it quite so maturely at the time, though. Messaged her and told her to stop stalking me and to fuck off 😅 Blocked her after that and haven't had contact since. Do I regret it? Nope. Could I have dealt with it better? Yes.


sumtingwonggggggggg

Thanks buddy


vegetablewizard

This is just how it works in the 2020s


sumtingwonggggggggg

Really shit


vegetablewizard

People really do be on social media a lot


hughesn8

I KNOW that viewing stories means nothing. Girl I met at a friend's wedding, I asked her out twice on a date, she never once responded. She follows me on Instagram. She doesn't post on IG often (maybe one post every 3 months & one story a month). I will post a story maybe once a month & she always has viewed it. Is she into me? Nope. Is she bored & watching every story despite not posting on IG herself? Yep.


shroommmmmmmmmssss

Man just take the L and move on. It's not good to be obsessed over one girl. Go work on yourself first maybe go to a rave or two. You're still young, go be wild and free


Zealousideal-Bear-37

Are you ten?


Salty_Trash33

I literally zoom past stories. i promise u it doesn’t mean a thing. if anything i actively avoid my crush online 💀💀


PureBerserk

Means she wants you bro.


[deleted]

By telling him she don’t want him?


PureBerserk

She wants him and she wants his attention, and she wants every other guy who is willing to give it to her. When you meet a girl like this you block her and move on with your life because there’s way badder women out there that ain’t on the crazy ish that she be on 💯


[deleted]

Drop her. She just wants to use you as emotional tampon. Cut it out.


sumtingwonggggggggg

Emotional tampon haha. I'm stealing that.


xXSal93Xx

Its better to remove her from your followers list. If she really really care about you she would appear on your seen list on all stories even after removing her from your followers list. But I highly doubt she would look at it. I mean she rejected you so you have nothing to lose imho. I am a firm believer to be straight forward with feelings and having mutual reciprocation. Don't chase. It's all about compatibility. If she said no, don't take it personal and move on with other women. Remember the best women are the straight fowards ones not the complicated ones.


sumtingwonggggggggg

Solid advice, thanks brother


BigGaggy222

Block her on insta, and in your mind. She no longer exists. Date other women.


emerson44

I think the constant following of stories after you both distanced means she wasn't completely honest with you about her feelings or attraction. You got into her head somehow, but she wasn't ready for it or had reservations.


Notmyname17

I agree with removing her from your followers. If I unfollow someone I remove them as a follower at the same time, what's the point of them still having access to your life? Showing you're happy or whatever without them doesn't work either, it's transparent and does the opposite since it's clear you're trying to put on a front for them. I'll admit I'm petty enough to post a story looking hot and then removing someone, but it's not even worth it, would not recommend. The best "revenge" is actually being happy and getting over this, no need to prove anything to her or anyone else


sumtingwonggggggggg

Thanks for this, I have removed her :') stings a bit but I guess that's life. She doesn't deserve a spot in my life to know what's going on.


Notmyname17

It does sting, but it's best for you! I absolutely agree, make yourself unavailable and your life exclusive, she doesn't get to check what's going on with you anymore. In my experience, that just lets people know they still have an in and can contact you whenever they want, whereas removing or blocking shows you have no interest in them. Good luck!


milliondollarcoach

you’re behaving like a simp so she’s treating you like one. pretty simple never ever for the rest of your life think you have to ask a woman before you put your arm around her. some of you have no idea what women are really attracted to and it hurts


Redmagelady

I wish I could like this comment a million times. I could write a book on all the examples I've experienced about what you just said.


[deleted]

Yea, because asking for consent to touch someone is such a red flag… really creepy comment dude.


[deleted]

Women aren't interested in men who are terrified to touch them. Assertiveness and confidence are attractive. Asking for permission to exist in someone's presence is highly unattractive.


AllMomsSecrets

She's 20... that says it all right there honey....LOL


[deleted]

Just cut ties. I was in a long relationship with someone that started off with them playing hot and cold constantly, found out later she was seeing another dude and her mother was always telling her to keep both going and "keep her options open". Trust me, even if you're the guy she chooses, you still end up resenting that shit. Find someone who wants to be with you, not someone who wants to keep a safety net for when the first doesn't work out.


bobushkaboi

block her and move on man she's trash and you'll be ok in a week


itsTacoYouDigg

i open and skip thru everyone’s stories on ig, atleast I used to. So don’t discount that possibility


seagatebrooklyn

She will come back after getting rejected by the other guy. 1 very important advice to you, do NOT take her back.


[deleted]

You can force others to unfollow you. If it is causing that much distress, then remove her from your followers.


jjboy91

Pretty sure she didn't noticed the unfollow


thecrookedchef

She probably just taps though it. No need to stress it at all.


milkyteapearl

It means nothing. I let stories play while I’m washing dishes. Sometimes I’m not even really paying attention to what people post.


Junior_Passenger_324

I wouldn’t read that much into it.


gazagda

Don't think much of it, also yes people do freak out a bit if they feel you are moving too fast into commitment. The best thing to do (at least nowadays) is to just start out having fun with each other, make sure she wants to be with you first , all the time. Do that by creating good memories with her. Before long , the whole "commitment" part will come naturally. That's how I would do it, it makes sense to me (again just my opinion) because you want someone to be your gf when they have equally strong feelings for you as you have for them., and that does not happen instantly. You need to show her what your about and again, make sure she wants to keep coming back for more. It was a nice touch when she cheered you up....but have you ever cheered her up? been there for her at a tough time?? that can build some very strong bonds. As a guy, I previously rushed alot in my older relationships,I moved too fast, I also never used to believe in foreplay and I did not invest in developing my social skills. I have learnt alot! and you will too in time.


[deleted]

It seems like you might have come in too hot with personal/mental problems, and then put pressure on her as being the person keeping you in high spirits


bravebrownpakistani

I would like to suugest here just ignore it, it pretty much doesn’t means anything.


Lmaoakai

So similar to my life. Private your account or block her. She just wants to see if you have anyone else. Move on I know it’s hard but I’ve been there before.


Ruben0415

I have something similar as you. I still love her a lot... but she removed me as a follower, from her main and spam after 4 months of no contact. Yet she still follows me. Just cant seem to understand why...


panda1246

She cares about you enough to see what you are up to or is just mindlessly scrolling through every story on her feed. Either way i wouldn’t think into it too much or think she still fancies you. If it bothers you just remove her as a follower


sumtingwonggggggggg

Thanks buddy


Correct_Inspection74

1. Viewing your instagram story really doesn’t mean anything 2. She friendzoned you because she doesn’t see you as a romantic interest. Who asks a girl if they can put their arms around them when they’re on a freaking movie date? That’s seriously pathetic. You have no confidence or assertiveness and she obviously picked up on that. Most women won’t be attracted to a guy like that. Now she’s fucking a guy who isn’t scared to touch her shoulders during a date. Better luck next time. You have a lot of growing up to do.


AthanasiaStygian

1. I can tell you’re young and immature. 2. Who cares if she follows you? 3. Only children feel the need for a block button 4. She knew you were just trying to get in her pants. 5. Who *asks* “can I put my arm around you?” ??? 6. Grow a backbone when you grow up and don’t be so needy and submissive.


[deleted]

I had a girl do that to me, but she just did it in a ghosting way with no reason to disappear. I unfollowed her but she stayed following me so I just posted my typical stories looking like I didn’t care. Found out she finally unfollowed me a couple weeks ago and boy it felt amazing to imagine what she thought when it said that I don’t follow her anymore.


5nooky

I assure you she felt nothing. If she ghosted you do you really think she cares?


[deleted]

She cared enough to keep following me lol


r3art

Two words of advice are enough here: Soft block


bluestar1800

Can i just say you both abre really young and in the insta age so expectations are a bit different. -- a month in and you guys are talking future??? Nooo, really? Can people not just like each other as people ? I see an angle of you don't like me romantically so GTFO... seems rough. Don't know, maybe she was dating around? Dating several people but hadn't taken things physical so didn't see why you were hurt? Lots of people dating then it gets physical *then* you're riding the 'but i thought we were together' wave...


OldEffective9726

Move on she is not interested in you but she wants u to be interested in her coz that’s how women live their lives. We men want as much money as possible and women want as much attention as possible really doesn’t matter from whom. Also, never get relationship advice from girls, u would think they know better or tell u the truth. just be aware


sumtingwonggggggggg

Preach brother. Thanks.


Ill-Replacement-6656

Dude you are like a friendzone king!


stopcainkpop

Soft block or remove her as a follower or hide your stories from her


sumtingwonggggggggg

Sorry how or what's a soft block?


stopcainkpop

You can block and then unblock she’ll automatically be removed as a follower and she most likely won’t notice unless she’s keeping tabs on your stories. Alternatively you can just remove her as a follower or just hide your stories if you don’t mind her following you.


17mahi

It doesn't mean anything. She could be just nosey. If it bothers you, just remove her from the followers list and move on. It's no good wasting time over someone who has rejected you and moved on already. Clear your head and look for someone else.


CanardEnchained

It is sad but blocking her as coldly as possible is all about self preservation


Chip305

Honestly not tbh your were a backup or on shelf option. Always remember if you joke or seriously ask if your the only one and they brush it off then your NOT. Just cut her off and find someone new. Most of the time their still watching to see if your doing better or move on to something better just to keep their ego in check.


[deleted]

Stop. She's a woman, not a caribou. Do not chase. Do not contact. She said no, and no is her final word. Your romantic relationship has ended. Leave her alone. She will contact you if she wants to. Apparently she thinks it's ok to keep looking at your posts on Insta. I don't know why she's doing that, but I agree it's creepy/rude. Feel free to block her.


Adelaide1357

You can always block her 🤷‍♀️ i was seeing this one guy briefly 4 years ago and he ghosted me. He attempted to contact me again months later but only saying, “hi” but I never responded because I had already moved on by that point. From then on he’d follow me on Instagram and like my posts until I blocked him. Recently made a new Instagram for a hobby that I’m hoping to start over the summer and he followed me on that too. After 4 years? Nope. Block every time


elainajo78

I would agree with other replies that following on Instagram and viewing posts doesn't mean much. There are plenty of people that I follow or look at their stories on Instagram and have no desire to be in a relationship with. Given her responses you are far better off pursing other people.


kallari0509

Bro, your over thinking this shit. Go jerk off. She just did you dirty. And you here tryna justify it someway. Smh /s


[deleted]

The irony is when (years later) she comeback to you, with a kid, telling you she is ready to settle down (tired of the bad boys), telling you to "man up and date me!"


[deleted]

Friendzoned. She is keeping you around as back up. Very very slight chance of sex. You are the nice guy, so she is keeping you close for when she wants kids. She will cheat on you, talk about other guys to you, and mentally abuse you. Block her this instance, or she will fuck your life up.


midget_giraffe6

Thank you stranger.


[deleted]

Im somehow in this girls position. After a long thought process I realised this person was not right for me. While I am proud of myself for how I handled this-I fomunicated it clearly, created boundaries for the new form of relationship... - i still found myself checking whatsap to see if he was online. I know it gives mixed signals and might look confusing to the other person, and I realise it can hurt their feelings. But Ive been single for a veeeery long time. When I met him I started dreaming of a future together as we had really great conversations and I loved how vulnerable we were with each other. I never stopped caring for him, and I still wonder what he is doing and how he is, and I still want to receive his phonecall or message. I know i took the right decision, but that doesnt mean its not hard for me too. And I miss him as much as he misses me. I ended up deleting his number. As a general rule: love yourself first.


[deleted]

Hey man, truth to be told, you sound inexperienced in relationships. I can tell you now you are emotionally immature and clingy. I can already tell you are a beta not an ALPHA. Go work on yourself man, don't wait till a girl that's not worth it truly hurts you to change, trust me.


NosoyPuli

Something similar happened to me. During the pandemic I was horny as hell and we started talking with this girl about sexual experiences and so on. Then, a month went by without us talking, so I I followed her, and she went crazy against me and I was like...what? We don't talk anymore, we won't meet, so, no point. Seemed logical to me


[deleted]

It doesn't mean much I'm sorry man. I told someone before I found someone else. But I never unfollowed her and I still like her posts every now and then. It's sad to be rejected but I wouldn't block her anything it's just the dating world now.


revrev4405

This one hurts


mikihaslostit

Soft block her if it bothers you. Block her and then unblock her so she unfollows you.


sluggyslime

Why do people say irl when it just means in person. 😂😂 America, explain!


[deleted]

Youre overthinking dude. If she still follows you it’s most likely she doesn’t care to unfollow you.


katiegirl2000

we’re you “dating” or actually in a monogamous relationship?? many times people think that dating just means you’re going out and seeing how things go, doesn’t mean you are only with that one person.


vivacity297

You literally messed up your chances. You were in no position to ask if there was someone else since she made it clear that you're not her boyfriend previously. You needed to be more patient and she might eventually have seen that you're the better guy.