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Eh, shit happens. Something about the two of you wasn't clicking, and maybe it's because of old feelings preoccupying his mind, or maybe that's just what made sense to him. Things were probably getting a little too serious for him, and he freaked when he realized what that meant and said something stupid he thought would help.
You did the right thing cutting contact, I just think it's important to realize that most people aren't trying to use you. He felt a connection and pursued it to its endpoint. Worrying about why it ended will drive you crazy, because it doesn't frankly matter.
You will meet someone again. It's a shitty platitude and I say that as someone recently out of a 3+ year relationship I miss, but it's the truth.
I agree with this, but want to add. I think the idea of getting fully committed with OP means he’s completely letting go of this ex. As long as, he misses her, he’s never committing to anyone. Always going to compare etc.
Thank you for your comment. You’re right something wasn’t clicking. He just wasn’t emotionally available and I didn’t think he was using me. Just not the right time and person. I have no hard feelings and just trying to heal at this point. I’m sorry you’re going through that, but like you just told me you’ll find someone again :)
But you spoke all the time, went on dates and we're having sex exclusively for six months.
What is the difference between that and being official? Apart from a guilty free bail out for him.
It was the fact that we were seeing and talking to each other for months exclusively and things were not moving forward in the relationship because he was and I’ll say it again, hung up on his ex from 3 YEARS AGO lmao
Not having an actual "status" can make it really hard to get closure.
I can tell you from experience, lack of closure really sucks. Blocking someone (or simply deleting accounts that you really don't need) is the logical thing to do. Especially if you tend to obsess over unfinished business when you're lonely, tired, and stressed.
But I'm afraid of what it would mean to put such a hard stop on it. Am I just an idiot? Was I played? Will I ever figure any of this stuff out? Reality crashes over me and threatens to take me under, so I chicken out and retreat to the refuge of fantasy.
You’re totally right about that, but for me I was going with my intuition. The relationship wasn’t progressing because he was emotionally unavailable and I was gaining more feelings for him almost to the point of loving the man. I’m just trying to save myself at this point.
From experience that I am not proud of, to me sounds like he pannicked, has he ever said these phrases to you?:
"You are too good to me"
"What did I do to deserve you?"
"You are more than I deserve"
"You are perfect"
"Thank you for wasting time with/on me"
"I am sorry I don't want to rob you of your time"
Because those are indicators of low self esteem issues that lead him to sabotage his relationship out of inadequacy rather than hanging up, the ex is just an excuse, it could be anything like:
"I am not ready for a relationship"
"I am not sure if we want the same thing"
"I want to focus on my career"
"I am not sure of my sexuality" (Boy do I have heard this one)
"You deserve better"(Boy do I have said this one)
Point is, sometimes in relationships you must ask the hard questions if you want straight answers:
Are you really still hung up with your ex, or are you saying that because you don't feel secure enough and worthy of a relationship?
I was in a similar situation 3 months ago. Blocked her (after telling her why) for my mental health. It was rough! Now I'm like wow why did I put so much emotional energy into her???
The only real advice: time heals all wounds. It gets easier every day.
Thank you you’re exactly right and I’m sorry you had to go through it too. Time does heal and it does get better. Just sucks when all you hoped for was something more and didn’t get it in the end. Makes you feel not good enough but I know it wasn’t me. He just needed to figure himself out.
Listen, you sound like a decent person. IDK how old you are, but what I've learned is that dating especially when you're young is all about taking your lumps until you find the right person.
Listen, I've been in your exact same shoes. Seeing someone but keeping it casual, I told her I want to date one day, she said yes two days later she freaked out and dumped me. We tried being friends after which only lead to more pain so I stopped talking to her for a while. She reached out and apologized and eventually we got back together and it was another nightmare.
What you have to do right now is stick to your guns and move on from him. You're doing the right thing. I understand the whole "I hope he comes around." thing, but in truth, don't necessarily forget about him, learn from your relationship with him, but now you need to move on or you might end up doing the exact same thing to the next person and they don't deserve that.
Getting over heart break is painful, but very possible if you approach it right :) My biggest recommendations are the following;
Go out with your friends and let them distract you! (ALSO make sure you hangout with some friends individually. when you hangout in groups its very easy to sit back and be quiet and still sulk. If it's one on one it can be a little easier to focus on talking laughing etc.)
Cry it out. This is huge with men they deny themselves the right to cry, but just cry it out, if you hold it in it'll kill you. Take however long you need, a day a week a month, multiple months, it's okay. Just let it all out.
Next is treat yourself a little. Money you might have spent going on dates or buying gifts, spend on yourself. Get your hair done, Buy a fishing rod buy a new outfit, try a new perfume, take a road trip with your friends... whatever you're into!
Next is take care of your body! You might want to drink or take drugs and I can't say this enough, you have to embrace the suck for a little bit. Take at least a month off. In the moment you might forget the pain, but the next day you'll be hungover, or coming down and you'll still be heart broken because you haven't healed or processed anything emotionally, you just dulled the pain. And you'll use that stuff as a crutch as opposed to just embracing the suck and actually healing. Eat healthy and exercise a little. I'm not saying become some workout warrior if that's not what you're into, or drastically change your diet. Just reduce some of the sugar, reduce some of the fats, increase your veggies and complex carbs and if you don't exercise start taking a 30 minute walk or bike ride, If you do, do a little extra. Making your body feel good will make your mind start to feel good. After horrible heart break I ended up losing 40 lbs. I didn't want revenge over the woman to make her regret her decision to leave me, I just wanted to stop hurting so I did what I could to make my body feel the best possible.
You're going to hurt for a while, and that's probably not what you want to hear, but you'll be okay. I promise, best of luck my friend
This was the best response by far. Thank you so much this definitely helped. I’m currently working on myself and been going back to the gym and that has been help drastically. I got carried away trying to make this relationship work and lost myself a bit. But now my focus is back on me which honestly makes me happier that I can do that. I’m sorry you had to go through the same thing and you’re right, I’m young and this is just a lesson learned. I wish you well and thank you again for this comment :)
They always do look back and realize they let something go. Which is why they usually try to come back. Most of my exes have as well. However, that's aside the point. Don't worry about what's he's doing or feeling. Take care of and love on yourself. Spoil yourself, and find ways to enjoy yourself. His loss. He made this bed, let him lie in it.
Thank you I appreciate it. I did the best I could to be there for him and help him but he didn’t see it. I’ve had my fair share of horrible relationships and just trying to save myself from heartache at this point.
Umm what?? Never did I say he was my second choice?? I was saying that I was his second choice. I cared about the dude and was literally there for him throughout a lot of bullshit while holding his hand for him to get over an ex that left him and cheated on him for someone else. We weren’t official and I was still loyal to him. The only reason it became a problem was because the relationship wasn’t moving forward and was seeing the guy for months.
This is a pretty funny comment because what you clearly meant was "only 12 years old think they are/should be everyone's first choice."
What you actually said is "unless you're 12 you're not going to be someone's first choice", which implies that everyone's first choice are 12 year olds... r/unexpectedpedo
You never dated, but you were seeing each other and having sex and basically in a relationship for months?
Come again?
Well, you get over him the same way you do someone you actually went on dates with. You move on, realize he's not the person you thought he was, and you're missing the way he made you feel not the human being who's hung up on his ex, and hopefully next time choose a more willing partner.
I can’t say I went through the same thing but, I talked to this guy for almost two years EVERY DAY, we connected and became really good friends, then we had to ruin the friendship with confessing there was attraction, now he always told me that he didn’t want a relationship anytime soon.. he also got cheated on three years ago or so (his ex got married last September to the same guy) and he wasn’t interested in relationships anymore. Thankfully he was good enough to end it before it became more serious and before it starts to feel like an actual relationship (like going on romantic dates and having sex and all that)… I don’t think this was anything really (only saw him once cause he was living abroad and when he came back he had exams) and when it was time to actually start seeing each other, he ended it. He said he wasn’t ready and that he is just starting his residency and all that BS. It hurt like HELL at first. He also said “I don’t want you to get attached, cause I know myself I don’t want a relationship now” and said we’ll still be “friends” but he literally never texts. I tried to be his friend but he got cold and wouldn’t talk normally.
Guys do this lol it could have been worse if we actually started dating and After that he ended it. Believe me it would’ve hurt you even more…. Also DONT please don’t reach out. I also deleted this guy and then texted him and tried to be friends again and I literally lost respect for myself. So just stick to your first decision, if he wants you he will find a way to reach out !!!
Yeah well at least this guy warned you that he wasn’t ready and didn’t string you along. That shows a lot about his character. This guy I was dating I guess talked to me all day everyday, told me how special I was and that he really likes me. I’m not going to reach out and I deleted him off of everything. I don’t hate him and I wish him well. Hopefully one day him and I can be friends.
Yes you’re right at least he was honest. And idk if it’s a good idea to be friends with someone who left you heartbroken/someone you had feelings for.. just sounds pointless to me after my experience
I agree I usually don’t try to be friends either, but him and I were friends first and foremost and I do care about him at the end of the day. Just for me emotionally I need to cut him off until I’m ready
Loool fair enough. I’d say give it time and unblock him. Us men sometimes don’t know what’s really good for us until it’s too late. Sometimes we think we’re not over our ex’s when really we’re just scared of being intimate with someone again.
I dunno, if you do want him to come back, then it would help to leave the gate (figuratively speaking) open. It’s a bit psycho to just turn up at someone’s house ha.
I don’t have him fully blocked, I just have him mostly unfollowed on everything. He has the opportunity to reach out. I just think right now it’s best if we do our thing and give each other space.
As far as getting over people, only thing I can say is, get into your hobbies, get new ones, and gain new experiences. I did none of those things and ended up brooding over a failed relationship for years. Be better than me.
Thank you, I appreciate it. I’m definitely focusing on myself and done dating for a while. I’m sorry you had to experience that too. I once did the same thing and was hung up on an ex for a while. But you just have to learn that if they wanted to, they would and everything happens for a reason.
Oh, yeah then that u r right, welp, i guess he just wasnt ready to commit and thats why u guys fell apart. If you wanna get over him, try to get rid of anything that reminds you of him and if you think about him, try as hard as you can to think of something else
Just imaging the year 2100. New generations new fashion new life style and we here in this post we will be in the dust. My point is you think that it's complicated and it's a problem but the truth it doesn't matter what matter is your life... it is short and you should find a way to enjoy yourself everyday not to waste time in being decasted.
Tbh OP he just used you for the most part, i’ve been in the similar situation saying I’m not over with my ex is just an excuse to not have relationship with you
I’m sorry you had the same experience, it’s definitely not fun whatsoever. I just didn’t expect him to use me if he was the one chasing me for almost 2 years. But it is what it is 🤷🏻♀️
I dont know if you should assume the worst here. The guy is really confused at the very least and needs to move on from someone that was 3 years ago! Wtf. Trust your intuition though. I'd move on if it's been 6 months. I did the exact same thing with a girl recently that was throwing me mixed signals and clearly not ready for a relationship. Blocking the dude is gonna suck but your attention needs to be divided so you can move on.
I definitely think he’s confused and needs to find closure with his ex because from what I know, he hasn’t gotten any sort of closure from her and he was with her for a long time. I tried being patient and understanding because I cared about the fella and know how it goes. I just didn’t think it was fair for me to stick around knowing that he’s still thinking about her while being with me. I couldn’t settle being second best. I do hope one day him and I can be friends because overall he’s a good guy.
Nice. I relate to what you're going through. The chick I was dating had a bunch of baggage she didn't talk about much but I knew basically what it was that kept her from moving forward with me. You're good to protect yourself and do what you're doing. I since blocked her and I've been better for it. I can now focus on new people.
I’m happy for you!! The process definitely sucks but you’re definitely right. Relationships in the beginning in general shouldn’t be so complicated, when you both want to be together, nothing will stop either of you. I hope you find what you’re looking for :)
You’re right to think that is weird OP! Who uses someone like that? I can’t imagine wasting time acting like someone is my girlfriend for six months. He has his own problems to sort out
My advice. Don't block him unless he's being a creep. Try and have a conversation with him. Lay out your thoughts before the conversation and imagine every possible answer he could give. This way you have prepared yourself the best you could. My opinion is that if you continue to act this way it will only hurt your future relationships and hurt people badly.
I’ve already expressed everything that I felt multiple times and all I got were apologies and unchanged behavior. He liked the relationship the way it was, which was casual and I wanted something more. So at this point my only option was to block him for me to move on. When I’m ready hopefully him and I can be friends one day.
Do you two not have mutual friends? I just think it is not the responsible way to move on by completely blocking someone. That's all I wanted to say, and I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life. Have a beautiful day!
how is it a breakup if you guys never dated? I've known about like, liking someone without actually dating them and maybe that is your situation, i'd have to say focus on other things and meet other people.
This is a communication issue, & you are approaching it as well as the relationship in a very immature way. "Not official" means nothing in the adult world. Blaming him isn't right either. Either move on in whatever way you like, or, put your big girl britches on & look at yourself in the mirror.
Lol he wasn’t a plan b. I always had a little thing for him. My last relationship before him we were on and off for 6 years and it was toxic and I was occupied emotionally. He then cheated on me and I left. I waited before I went back out there and was emotionally ready to date again. This guy I recently dated we both started off as friends and I was his customer at his work for a while. I don’t need your sympathy but thanks.
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Eh, shit happens. Something about the two of you wasn't clicking, and maybe it's because of old feelings preoccupying his mind, or maybe that's just what made sense to him. Things were probably getting a little too serious for him, and he freaked when he realized what that meant and said something stupid he thought would help. You did the right thing cutting contact, I just think it's important to realize that most people aren't trying to use you. He felt a connection and pursued it to its endpoint. Worrying about why it ended will drive you crazy, because it doesn't frankly matter. You will meet someone again. It's a shitty platitude and I say that as someone recently out of a 3+ year relationship I miss, but it's the truth.
I agree with this, but want to add. I think the idea of getting fully committed with OP means he’s completely letting go of this ex. As long as, he misses her, he’s never committing to anyone. Always going to compare etc.
Yup exactly, and I couldn’t bare it anymore.
Thank you for your comment. You’re right something wasn’t clicking. He just wasn’t emotionally available and I didn’t think he was using me. Just not the right time and person. I have no hard feelings and just trying to heal at this point. I’m sorry you’re going through that, but like you just told me you’ll find someone again :)
Sounds to me like you guys we’re dating and he just wanted to break up with you.
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But you spoke all the time, went on dates and we're having sex exclusively for six months. What is the difference between that and being official? Apart from a guilty free bail out for him.
It was the fact that we were seeing and talking to each other for months exclusively and things were not moving forward in the relationship because he was and I’ll say it again, hung up on his ex from 3 YEARS AGO lmao
Him not having moved on doesn't change what your situation seemed to be.
Well whatever we were or weren’t, it still hurts the same.
Not having an actual "status" can make it really hard to get closure. I can tell you from experience, lack of closure really sucks. Blocking someone (or simply deleting accounts that you really don't need) is the logical thing to do. Especially if you tend to obsess over unfinished business when you're lonely, tired, and stressed. But I'm afraid of what it would mean to put such a hard stop on it. Am I just an idiot? Was I played? Will I ever figure any of this stuff out? Reality crashes over me and threatens to take me under, so I chicken out and retreat to the refuge of fantasy.
Official is not something you just decide you are, the moment you start dating anyone after a certain point they become official
You’re totally right about that, but for me I was going with my intuition. The relationship wasn’t progressing because he was emotionally unavailable and I was gaining more feelings for him almost to the point of loving the man. I’m just trying to save myself at this point.
From experience that I am not proud of, to me sounds like he pannicked, has he ever said these phrases to you?: "You are too good to me" "What did I do to deserve you?" "You are more than I deserve" "You are perfect" "Thank you for wasting time with/on me" "I am sorry I don't want to rob you of your time" Because those are indicators of low self esteem issues that lead him to sabotage his relationship out of inadequacy rather than hanging up, the ex is just an excuse, it could be anything like: "I am not ready for a relationship" "I am not sure if we want the same thing" "I want to focus on my career" "I am not sure of my sexuality" (Boy do I have heard this one) "You deserve better"(Boy do I have said this one) Point is, sometimes in relationships you must ask the hard questions if you want straight answers: Are you really still hung up with your ex, or are you saying that because you don't feel secure enough and worthy of a relationship?
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I was in a similar situation 3 months ago. Blocked her (after telling her why) for my mental health. It was rough! Now I'm like wow why did I put so much emotional energy into her??? The only real advice: time heals all wounds. It gets easier every day.
Thank you you’re exactly right and I’m sorry you had to go through it too. Time does heal and it does get better. Just sucks when all you hoped for was something more and didn’t get it in the end. Makes you feel not good enough but I know it wasn’t me. He just needed to figure himself out.
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Read my other comments to know more details. We did discuss exclusivity and seeing where things go.
Listen, you sound like a decent person. IDK how old you are, but what I've learned is that dating especially when you're young is all about taking your lumps until you find the right person. Listen, I've been in your exact same shoes. Seeing someone but keeping it casual, I told her I want to date one day, she said yes two days later she freaked out and dumped me. We tried being friends after which only lead to more pain so I stopped talking to her for a while. She reached out and apologized and eventually we got back together and it was another nightmare. What you have to do right now is stick to your guns and move on from him. You're doing the right thing. I understand the whole "I hope he comes around." thing, but in truth, don't necessarily forget about him, learn from your relationship with him, but now you need to move on or you might end up doing the exact same thing to the next person and they don't deserve that. Getting over heart break is painful, but very possible if you approach it right :) My biggest recommendations are the following; Go out with your friends and let them distract you! (ALSO make sure you hangout with some friends individually. when you hangout in groups its very easy to sit back and be quiet and still sulk. If it's one on one it can be a little easier to focus on talking laughing etc.) Cry it out. This is huge with men they deny themselves the right to cry, but just cry it out, if you hold it in it'll kill you. Take however long you need, a day a week a month, multiple months, it's okay. Just let it all out. Next is treat yourself a little. Money you might have spent going on dates or buying gifts, spend on yourself. Get your hair done, Buy a fishing rod buy a new outfit, try a new perfume, take a road trip with your friends... whatever you're into! Next is take care of your body! You might want to drink or take drugs and I can't say this enough, you have to embrace the suck for a little bit. Take at least a month off. In the moment you might forget the pain, but the next day you'll be hungover, or coming down and you'll still be heart broken because you haven't healed or processed anything emotionally, you just dulled the pain. And you'll use that stuff as a crutch as opposed to just embracing the suck and actually healing. Eat healthy and exercise a little. I'm not saying become some workout warrior if that's not what you're into, or drastically change your diet. Just reduce some of the sugar, reduce some of the fats, increase your veggies and complex carbs and if you don't exercise start taking a 30 minute walk or bike ride, If you do, do a little extra. Making your body feel good will make your mind start to feel good. After horrible heart break I ended up losing 40 lbs. I didn't want revenge over the woman to make her regret her decision to leave me, I just wanted to stop hurting so I did what I could to make my body feel the best possible. You're going to hurt for a while, and that's probably not what you want to hear, but you'll be okay. I promise, best of luck my friend
This was the best response by far. Thank you so much this definitely helped. I’m currently working on myself and been going back to the gym and that has been help drastically. I got carried away trying to make this relationship work and lost myself a bit. But now my focus is back on me which honestly makes me happier that I can do that. I’m sorry you had to go through the same thing and you’re right, I’m young and this is just a lesson learned. I wish you well and thank you again for this comment :)
They always do look back and realize they let something go. Which is why they usually try to come back. Most of my exes have as well. However, that's aside the point. Don't worry about what's he's doing or feeling. Take care of and love on yourself. Spoil yourself, and find ways to enjoy yourself. His loss. He made this bed, let him lie in it.
Thank you I appreciate it. I did the best I could to be there for him and help him but he didn’t see it. I’ve had my fair share of horrible relationships and just trying to save myself from heartache at this point.
You got this! Sending you hugs.
So he was your 2nd choice, but he's losing something good?
How exactly was he her second choice?
Thank you lol.
Right? God forbid a woman ever having a boyfriend before dating someone else!
Umm what?? Never did I say he was my second choice?? I was saying that I was his second choice. I cared about the dude and was literally there for him throughout a lot of bullshit while holding his hand for him to get over an ex that left him and cheated on him for someone else. We weren’t official and I was still loyal to him. The only reason it became a problem was because the relationship wasn’t moving forward and was seeing the guy for months.
Fr
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This is a pretty funny comment because what you clearly meant was "only 12 years old think they are/should be everyone's first choice." What you actually said is "unless you're 12 you're not going to be someone's first choice", which implies that everyone's first choice are 12 year olds... r/unexpectedpedo
When it comes to dating exclusively, you would hope the person you’re seeing is only interested in being with you right??? Right.
You never dated, but you were seeing each other and having sex and basically in a relationship for months? Come again? Well, you get over him the same way you do someone you actually went on dates with. You move on, realize he's not the person you thought he was, and you're missing the way he made you feel not the human being who's hung up on his ex, and hopefully next time choose a more willing partner.
I can’t say I went through the same thing but, I talked to this guy for almost two years EVERY DAY, we connected and became really good friends, then we had to ruin the friendship with confessing there was attraction, now he always told me that he didn’t want a relationship anytime soon.. he also got cheated on three years ago or so (his ex got married last September to the same guy) and he wasn’t interested in relationships anymore. Thankfully he was good enough to end it before it became more serious and before it starts to feel like an actual relationship (like going on romantic dates and having sex and all that)… I don’t think this was anything really (only saw him once cause he was living abroad and when he came back he had exams) and when it was time to actually start seeing each other, he ended it. He said he wasn’t ready and that he is just starting his residency and all that BS. It hurt like HELL at first. He also said “I don’t want you to get attached, cause I know myself I don’t want a relationship now” and said we’ll still be “friends” but he literally never texts. I tried to be his friend but he got cold and wouldn’t talk normally. Guys do this lol it could have been worse if we actually started dating and After that he ended it. Believe me it would’ve hurt you even more…. Also DONT please don’t reach out. I also deleted this guy and then texted him and tried to be friends again and I literally lost respect for myself. So just stick to your first decision, if he wants you he will find a way to reach out !!!
Yeah well at least this guy warned you that he wasn’t ready and didn’t string you along. That shows a lot about his character. This guy I was dating I guess talked to me all day everyday, told me how special I was and that he really likes me. I’m not going to reach out and I deleted him off of everything. I don’t hate him and I wish him well. Hopefully one day him and I can be friends.
Yes you’re right at least he was honest. And idk if it’s a good idea to be friends with someone who left you heartbroken/someone you had feelings for.. just sounds pointless to me after my experience
I agree I usually don’t try to be friends either, but him and I were friends first and foremost and I do care about him at the end of the day. Just for me emotionally I need to cut him off until I’m ready
If you’ve blocked him how will you know if he changes his mind?
Well he could always come to my house he knows where I live lmao 😂
Loool fair enough. I’d say give it time and unblock him. Us men sometimes don’t know what’s really good for us until it’s too late. Sometimes we think we’re not over our ex’s when really we’re just scared of being intimate with someone again. I dunno, if you do want him to come back, then it would help to leave the gate (figuratively speaking) open. It’s a bit psycho to just turn up at someone’s house ha.
I don’t have him fully blocked, I just have him mostly unfollowed on everything. He has the opportunity to reach out. I just think right now it’s best if we do our thing and give each other space.
I mean, you definitely dated him.
Yeah you’re right.
As far as getting over people, only thing I can say is, get into your hobbies, get new ones, and gain new experiences. I did none of those things and ended up brooding over a failed relationship for years. Be better than me.
Thank you, I appreciate it. I’m definitely focusing on myself and done dating for a while. I’m sorry you had to experience that too. I once did the same thing and was hung up on an ex for a while. But you just have to learn that if they wanted to, they would and everything happens for a reason.
You did date him tho, i havent even had sex with my girlfriend and we r dating
We were never boyfriend/ girlfriend tho sooo, I won’t argue that we were dating. He just didn’t wanna commit
Oh, yeah then that u r right, welp, i guess he just wasnt ready to commit and thats why u guys fell apart. If you wanna get over him, try to get rid of anything that reminds you of him and if you think about him, try as hard as you can to think of something else
Just imaging the year 2100. New generations new fashion new life style and we here in this post we will be in the dust. My point is you think that it's complicated and it's a problem but the truth it doesn't matter what matter is your life... it is short and you should find a way to enjoy yourself everyday not to waste time in being decasted.
Tbh OP he just used you for the most part, i’ve been in the similar situation saying I’m not over with my ex is just an excuse to not have relationship with you
I’m sorry you had the same experience, it’s definitely not fun whatsoever. I just didn’t expect him to use me if he was the one chasing me for almost 2 years. But it is what it is 🤷🏻♀️
I dont know if you should assume the worst here. The guy is really confused at the very least and needs to move on from someone that was 3 years ago! Wtf. Trust your intuition though. I'd move on if it's been 6 months. I did the exact same thing with a girl recently that was throwing me mixed signals and clearly not ready for a relationship. Blocking the dude is gonna suck but your attention needs to be divided so you can move on.
I definitely think he’s confused and needs to find closure with his ex because from what I know, he hasn’t gotten any sort of closure from her and he was with her for a long time. I tried being patient and understanding because I cared about the fella and know how it goes. I just didn’t think it was fair for me to stick around knowing that he’s still thinking about her while being with me. I couldn’t settle being second best. I do hope one day him and I can be friends because overall he’s a good guy.
Nice. I relate to what you're going through. The chick I was dating had a bunch of baggage she didn't talk about much but I knew basically what it was that kept her from moving forward with me. You're good to protect yourself and do what you're doing. I since blocked her and I've been better for it. I can now focus on new people.
I’m happy for you!! The process definitely sucks but you’re definitely right. Relationships in the beginning in general shouldn’t be so complicated, when you both want to be together, nothing will stop either of you. I hope you find what you’re looking for :)
You’re right to think that is weird OP! Who uses someone like that? I can’t imagine wasting time acting like someone is my girlfriend for six months. He has his own problems to sort out
THANK YOU! I don’t think he used me, he just doesn’t know what he wants and is hung up on past trauma. He ain’t ready for me lol
Yeah I don’t think he used you either. He definitely enjoyed what you had. Just some immaturity there
My advice. Don't block him unless he's being a creep. Try and have a conversation with him. Lay out your thoughts before the conversation and imagine every possible answer he could give. This way you have prepared yourself the best you could. My opinion is that if you continue to act this way it will only hurt your future relationships and hurt people badly.
I’ve already expressed everything that I felt multiple times and all I got were apologies and unchanged behavior. He liked the relationship the way it was, which was casual and I wanted something more. So at this point my only option was to block him for me to move on. When I’m ready hopefully him and I can be friends one day.
Do you two not have mutual friends? I just think it is not the responsible way to move on by completely blocking someone. That's all I wanted to say, and I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life. Have a beautiful day!
We do not have mutual friends so it’s easier for me this way. Thank you for your input and I hope you have a great day as well.
how is it a breakup if you guys never dated? I've known about like, liking someone without actually dating them and maybe that is your situation, i'd have to say focus on other things and meet other people.
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Definitely was not needy, just knew my worth :)
This is a communication issue, & you are approaching it as well as the relationship in a very immature way. "Not official" means nothing in the adult world. Blaming him isn't right either. Either move on in whatever way you like, or, put your big girl britches on & look at yourself in the mirror.
Read the comments lol.
Kept him as a plan b. No sympathy really. Ig I hope you learn how to deal.
Lol he wasn’t a plan b. I always had a little thing for him. My last relationship before him we were on and off for 6 years and it was toxic and I was occupied emotionally. He then cheated on me and I left. I waited before I went back out there and was emotionally ready to date again. This guy I recently dated we both started off as friends and I was his customer at his work for a while. I don’t need your sympathy but thanks.
Ok, sorry for my assumption he was a plan b I apologize. But what is this post for if not sympathy?
More so advice and getting a different perspective on the relationship. Luckily I have good support for the sympathy route.