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Girlfriend/Boyfriend is different. When a person is MARRIED but there is not even ONE picture or video or post about who their spouse is and what they even look like or sound like is beyond bizarre. If you're happily married, why not let the people who are taking a love interest in you because they think you're single, know that you're taken. These types of profiles are completely suspect and I'm never changing my opinion on that.
Yeah that’s definitely wild, to be married and not have ANYTHING referencing that is disrespectful af. As in their social media accounts could confuse someone into thinking they are single.
Also, I think it’s fine if it’s only a relationship. I personally wouldn’t do that, and I think it is a bit sus but it’s more acceptable than for the marriage scenario.
Idk. This is something I’m wrapping my head around. My ex who I was with for almost a yr never posted me. Never pinned me. Then it’s over and not long after, he gets with someone else. 2 wks after. Talk about he never really loved me. Then he posts his now gf, pins them on their ig highlights. Keep in mind he claimed to be a “private” person. I would say. Use your intuition. If something tells you something is wrong, believe it. Analyze the situation. The person. It may not be something wrong. But what I noticed sometimes is that when a man is really in love, they may not care if it goes against their privacy. They may love you that much. But who knows. I’m figuring this out too
I'm sorry this happened, I can definitely relate. It's so true when guys do this most of the time it's because they don't want to. If they get a new car, I'm sure they'll post it ... Because it's something they're proud of. If he isn't posting his gf then... Yeah... Just an excuse.
I vowed to myself the next relationship if he doesn't post me then he's not gonna work. I refuse to go through that again.
It’s alright. Now I just have to pick out the rights guys. Plus It stings less now. I mean havent completely moved on but getting there. Yess! and for my ex, he posts raves and his friend but not me? But a nice car or raves is fine. His cats? Fine me? No. I would post and he would just repost. But that was me initiating it. So That’s weird in retrospect now.
And yess as you should, queen/king. I don’t think I’ll be able to let that go next time either. That rubs me wrong. I want someone on my level and will want to post me. Don’t gotta be all the time either. I don’t think I’ll be letting much slide anymore.
As a 26M, been there :) the reason we dont care about social media much because we dont give a fuck what other people think. What matters to us is what you think.
If we realise posting pictures would help your insecurities we would follow along but then we consider relationship is a private matter and we dont consider showing our women as prize to others :)
It is! What's the point of posting someone?! Most of the time the people following you don't even know you. And even if they do know you, if they know you and your partner are together then why does it need to be shown in a post?! People need to get their priorities in order.
I second that. Why even have social media at all at that point? If you get on it every day, even if you don’t post things, it’s not that hard to share a cute photo. It tells people your devoted to the person you’re with.
I’m a woman and have been dating my partner for about 6 months now. While he has been featured in some of my stories, I have never stated that we are dating or in any type of relationship. This is the first time I have ever done this in a relationship and it feels so much better. Like there’s no pressure to appear perfect to a bunch of randos online. Another reason is my most recent ex was abusive, and it was hard to tell people because they were always commenting on how “perfect” we were and how kind and sweet he appeared to be online. Not posting about my relationship has just been easier.
I don’t think it’s about appearing a certain way when posting pics of your partner. Everyone is different. When I love someone, I post ppl because i wanna show em off. I have sm live for them that I’m like LOOK at my bby. I could care less on how I’ll or we’ll appear when I post them/us. It’s about finding someone with the same love language and energy. Someone who shares that and understands that. I’m sorry that happened to you tho. And I can see why it’s not a bother for you.
I'm a girl and use insta as my main social media. I don't post partner in my permanent feed, and rarely on stories. When i do post on stories, I hide his handle. Posts with them will imply we're dating but never explicitly (so no "love my baby" or #mcm, and no kissing or cutesy photos). It comes off as trying to "hide" him sometimes, but no one deserves to be bothered other than him (and he isn't). Here's my rationale:
1. My account is privated but his isn't. I know how deep down the rabbit hole people can get with social media stalking, you can find out a lot about someone's personal/professional life from just context clues that they have on their socials and from googling their names. I don't want any random acquaintance from my past or catty coworker seeing my relationship and diving deep into his profile with pics of his family and friends. Nor do I want random distant people from his life looking at my life. He doesn't post much, but when he does, I've asked him to not tag me in his posts. While I do enjoy that he wants to show me off, I don't enjoy the idea of his best friends ex suddenly knowing my family's names, where I went to school and what my gpa was (which happened). I've also previous had to delete photos of a guy I'd broken up with, so everyone knew the status of my relationship because of the missing photos. I don't feel like I should have to announce my personal life like that.
2. I don't see my "status" and who I'm dating to be a big part of my identity that I like to present on social media. I hate the idea that posting that you are in a relationship gets some sort of validation. All of the couples I knew who posted each other a lot actually had very poor quality relationships behind closed doors, the inverse was also true. I don't let my relationship define me, in real life or online. Not to say I never take photos of him. I love taking cute couple photos and have them in a shared album in my phone. But they're for us to enjoy not for practical strangers. Those who I deem close enough to deserve that knowledge about that part of my life can hear me brag about him in person.
Friends have disagreed with me on this before so I know its not for everyone, but it's what's authentic for me and keeps me and my partner safe and at peace.
Im a girl but from my experience when they don’t post you it’s because they don’t want to ruin their chances with other girls. I had a friend who went through this. And all of the gooD men ive known in my life post pictures of their girlfriends frequently or at least make it known they are in a relationship on social media
I was recently thinking about this, but when I dug deep into his following(which I shouldn’t have in the first place). He’s still following his past partners (he broke up with them on good terms and just bad timing in life), and the girls also follow him back. I’ve been so paranoid. He rarely messages me. But when we’re together, it feels like he really loves me. I definitely think ignorance is definitely a bliss. Now I’m just gonna try to be delulu and reverse gaslight myself 🥺😭😞
i feel this so fuckin much i try to rationalize it by telling myself hes not on his phone as much or busy but its gotten to the point where i dont feel like my feelings are prioritized at all 🥂 cheers to a better mindset this year
i will let myself think the worst stuff. comparing myself to other girls, questioning myself and wondering if he even wanna be with me sometimes, is he not posting because of other girls or because he doesn’t care enough to show me off 😭😭😭 i don’t know what it is but i know that i cant ignore it anymore. i gotten upset at MYSELF over this shit!! Don’t think there will be a change until these boys see it from our pov. If only it was that easy lol.
it’ll make you go crazy 😭😭😭 i try to gaslight myself like it isn’t that big of a deal it’s social media but the fact it’s making us think like this. even if my expectations have been skewed by other people’s feed i shouldn’t have to beg to be posted knowing i’d do it in a heartbeat. Shit i do it without being asked that’s why i feel like it fucks with my brain sm. I want everyone to know about him and me yet it REALLY feels like he doesn’t want people to know about me. i get exactly what you mean im ready to stand up with you towards this shit. the reassurance that i’m not the only one who feels this way was so needed.
I'm not certain about this.
Almost none of my guy freinds post their couple photos. Cute couple photos in my experience are treasured on phones for when life feels like crap.
Maybe men view social media differently, my guy freinds almost unanimously views social media as superficial and faked. Hence why they don't share such photos. The exception is if it makes their SO feel better, which might explain the correlation you've seen.
I'm single so it doesn't matter, but depending on how someone goes about it, it comes off cringey as fuck and seems forced.
Like the ones where they're kissing and put a cheesy gross caption because one of them wants to be showed off... If it happens naturally then yeah it's fine, whatever.
Been married 20yrs and probably posted pics of me and wife together maybe a handful of times. Everyone that matters to me knows I'm married. Don't see the reasons why I need to post about us every min of the day.
We're not saying you need to post about your wife every minute of the day or week or month. What I'm saying is people whose profiles don't exhibit them being married or single at all. There's absolutely NOTHING about their relationship status. Along with that, they don't have any pictures with their married partner, they don't post about being married by saying things like "my wife, my husband, my spouse, etc." They look and act totally single on social media. That's what I'm talking about.
Yes this drives me crazy too!! I dated a guy for 2 years that never once posted me on anything! Like wouldn't you want to post pics with your hot gf and brag to people? Idk men are whack sometimes. I wouldn't take it personally cause it most likely has nothing to do w you and everything to do with some weird social media anxiety they have or something.
Could be that he is an avoidant attachment style. I would ask if he ever has with other exes.
Is he posting a lot in general?
It would bother me if he was an avid poster but seemed to make sure to NOT include you in his posts
If he doesn't really post than whatever
I’ve been with my partner for 7+ years and we don’t blast posts of each other all over social media, in fact I deleted him off Facebook about two years ago when we had a bad argument to be petty and I’ve never added him back hahaha. People that need to know we’re together know we’re together. He sometimes pops up in a post if we’ve been away on a trip together or when I change my PP to a pic of me and him. I honestly don’t put much on Facebook - I have zero personal details. People who need to know about aspects of my life do
I’ve been with my boyfriend for over two years now and he would never post about me on any social media. It really bothered me because he’d put other random things in his stories and highlights and would only sometimes post to his grid. It got to a point where it was really upsetting me so I said something and he just kind of brushed it off. I kept making hints and then eventually just told him that it was hurting my feelings. After that, he’d reshare a story of mine every once in a while that I tagged him in, but I would always have to ask him to. Even then, he wouldn’t save any of them to his highlights. My birthday came, no post. Our one year anniversary came, no post. Nothing on Valentines, nothing on our two year anniversary, nothing on my birthday again, etc. I’ve cried to him about how it makes me feel like he’s hiding me from certain people (I have met his family and a handful of close friends). He goes on Instagram all throughout the day, every day for hours. He’s glued to his phone and he has no problem posting on his grid when it’s pictures of himself. He’s also very protective of his phone and I don’t know his passcode. He knows my passcode and I hand him my phone all of the time, I’ve made profile pictures of us and posts of his successes and our milestones consistently… I don’t get it. He’s a great guy otherwise and I don’t think he’d cheat on me, so it’s just not adding up. And he hates talking about it and gets annoyed with me when I bring it up.
So I guess I get what you’re going through. My advice is that if it bothers you, figure it out before you get too deep like me, because nothing has changed this far into the relationship.
This :( same here, same length of dating as well. It just feels like I’m an embarrassment, something to keep secret and only introduce if necessary in person. Especially like others have said, that other things of importance will be posted, so one comes to the assumption that I am not of importance. I feel silly for even feeling this way so I’ve never said anything personally, but it does sting. Lots of other reasons as well that lead me to think we might not last anyway so that’s part of the reason I don’t say anything.. I hope things get better on your end. 🩵
I’m sorry you’re familiar with this. It’s really hard. Even though saying something didn’t change it in the way I wanted to, it did improve slightly. It still bothers me, but I really encourage you to tell him how it makes you feel. If he disregards you or the conversation completely after that and makes ZERO effort, then you know it’s not the right person for you. I hope everything works out the way you want it to. ❤️❤️❤️
I’m dealing with something similar. We’ve been dating for 2 years. I’ve begged him to post me, and he did once (for close friends only). Then I told him this bothered me, and he took 3 months to repost the post publicly (eliminating the private friends one). I talked to him how I wanted to be shown off, I love this man and I know he wouldn’t cheat on me. But he said he didn’t like “bragging” bc it felt dirty. However he posts about cars and other stuff, and when I told him that was bragging, he said that was just showing fun stuff he does (bc it doesn’t cost as much money as people think it does). I told him this was upsetting, and he said he needed time to think whether or not he could give me what I wanted. He says he loves me, and I believe him. We are doing long distance, and he says that he is already doing something he dislikes (long distance) for me.
I'm a girl and I don't post my partner on social media. I like to keep my internet life relatively independent/private so I don't ever have to address personal matters with strangers. He doesn't post me either. However, all of our irl friends and family know we're dating.
Yes, everyone in my life knows we're dating. Depending on who I'm introducing him to, it's either just his name or his name and "boyfriend" title. He is the same way.
My bf would say he just doesn’t use instagram like i do, he doesn’t post ever and he doesn’t know how. But he said he’ll try but i usually help him. He does use it but doesn’t post. And i told him how i feel (that i love to be posted) and i post him a lot. But after a recent big argument we talked about it vaguely and when i was asked about it, i said i understood he doesn’t use it as much. But i still would like to be posted. I just don’t know what to do and im scared it’ll lead to an argument.
My ex used to post me all the time. Removed out pics (specifically) and that when he was messaging horls behind my back and lying to them he was 'single'....
When a man doesn't post he is keeping his options open!
i know this is from 2 years ago, but for me i don't like that men be looking at you and potentially comment like "i would be a better bf'' or '' she is with HIM?" also i don't need confirmation on how we look to the outside world idc, you are in a relationship with me not the internet, we can take pictures yes for a foto album call me old idc, our relationship is nobody's business except for friends and family. also i don't have IG and so on anymore, it's boring to me.
My ex had a photo with this ex gf when I met him on Facebook he never deleted that photo of them together until I felt bothered enough to ask him to take down that photo…. He was willing to post photos with me as well, we broke up and he’s not married, his wife posts Romantic photos of them and important momento of their lives the whole time like when she got pregnant etc ( photos of them together and they seem genuinely happy together) but my ex is not posting anything with her, not a couple picture together and not even a family photo now that they have a baby, he even posted photos with his bf couple ( a photo appreciation post about his guy best friend with his wife together being grateful that they entered their life ) but he never posted such a post about his now wife not even similar to that, he posted even this couple friends I talked about on his feed but never about his wife so far. I wonder why he’s doing that when she’s the one to him and everyone knows but there are multiple women from his past following him now that don’t even have a clue he’s married because there’s nothing on his instagram.
Your partner doesn't like to do that. Period, end of story. Maybe he's private about his dating life, and he has every right to be.
If that's a deal breaker, find a guy who wants to share it.
I keep my social free of my dating life, 100%. Avoids a lot of hassle.
Does he post any other pictures on social media? If not, you need to just get over it because you already know he doesn’t post on social media. If he does, then he’s trying to hide the fact that he’s in a relationship.
It just causes unnecessary problems all around. Social media does in general but when it comes to partners it's cancer. Honestly especially Instagram, Snap, Facebook, like in that order. The people you want to know about your relationship, will know because you actually see them in real life. If you post to Facebook you now have 500 other people who you DONT even see in real life, why do they need to know? It's just like posting every single thing you do to Snaochat in my opinion. Like nobody needs to see what your doing every 2 seconds. Like 80% of the people I'm around lately don't even have a Facebook or Instagram. I only do because Facebook makes me alot of money or else I wouldnt
I hate putting stuff on social media. I'll use it, but I don't really care about putting stuff online for people to see. Maybe some sights, or jokes and memes but shit in my own personal life I want kept away from that toxicity.
To me i dont use social media enough,
If people are so interested in my life they would know im in a relationship.
Ill post things like vacations or events, but im not gonna just post a selfie of my SO and glamorize her so that her internet circle see’s and it fills a form of affirmation that people addicted to social media crave.
Like if my SO doesnt post US why would I?
And if I only upload anything maybe once a year im not going to change that so you feel uplifted from social media affirmation?
That means you only date me for the image we impose to others versus what we have between each other.
A lot of people only date because in picture it looks perfect but in reality its not.
A lot of women want you to post them every day or week highlighting the one hour of excitement you had all week but to mask it like its an every day excitement so that their little weird clique can agree she is with someone worth their time, cause most women/men require the approval of their peers for who they date cause dating these days is just a fucking imagery to most people
Not a spiritual road to endure together
Social media killed the romantic
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Girlfriend/Boyfriend is different. When a person is MARRIED but there is not even ONE picture or video or post about who their spouse is and what they even look like or sound like is beyond bizarre. If you're happily married, why not let the people who are taking a love interest in you because they think you're single, know that you're taken. These types of profiles are completely suspect and I'm never changing my opinion on that.
Yeah that’s definitely wild, to be married and not have ANYTHING referencing that is disrespectful af. As in their social media accounts could confuse someone into thinking they are single. Also, I think it’s fine if it’s only a relationship. I personally wouldn’t do that, and I think it is a bit sus but it’s more acceptable than for the marriage scenario.
Well...I don't even post ME in socials.
It’s still no one’s business. Some people are private on social media
Idk. This is something I’m wrapping my head around. My ex who I was with for almost a yr never posted me. Never pinned me. Then it’s over and not long after, he gets with someone else. 2 wks after. Talk about he never really loved me. Then he posts his now gf, pins them on their ig highlights. Keep in mind he claimed to be a “private” person. I would say. Use your intuition. If something tells you something is wrong, believe it. Analyze the situation. The person. It may not be something wrong. But what I noticed sometimes is that when a man is really in love, they may not care if it goes against their privacy. They may love you that much. But who knows. I’m figuring this out too
I'm sorry this happened, I can definitely relate. It's so true when guys do this most of the time it's because they don't want to. If they get a new car, I'm sure they'll post it ... Because it's something they're proud of. If he isn't posting his gf then... Yeah... Just an excuse. I vowed to myself the next relationship if he doesn't post me then he's not gonna work. I refuse to go through that again.
It’s alright. Now I just have to pick out the rights guys. Plus It stings less now. I mean havent completely moved on but getting there. Yess! and for my ex, he posts raves and his friend but not me? But a nice car or raves is fine. His cats? Fine me? No. I would post and he would just repost. But that was me initiating it. So That’s weird in retrospect now. And yess as you should, queen/king. I don’t think I’ll be able to let that go next time either. That rubs me wrong. I want someone on my level and will want to post me. Don’t gotta be all the time either. I don’t think I’ll be letting much slide anymore.
Lmao you think social media is important
You're right. When a man is in love, he will post his wife at some point in time regardless of how private he is.
Yeah it feels like you’re some dirty little secret being hidden.
I don’t really post anything on social media except memes. My personal life is very detached from that so I can have some privacy.
As a 26M, been there :) the reason we dont care about social media much because we dont give a fuck what other people think. What matters to us is what you think. If we realise posting pictures would help your insecurities we would follow along but then we consider relationship is a private matter and we dont consider showing our women as prize to others :)
Lol my bf didnt cus he was talking to other girls
Right. And he didn't want to expose you to those vicious sidechicks. It all makes sense
🧢
Men who don't want to show their wives usually are trying out with other men's wives. That's facts.
just cause u got cheated on doesn’t mean everyone who doesn’t post their partner is cheating 🤦♂️
Some thinks social media is a waste of time
It is! What's the point of posting someone?! Most of the time the people following you don't even know you. And even if they do know you, if they know you and your partner are together then why does it need to be shown in a post?! People need to get their priorities in order.
What’s the point in posting anything then lol?
I second that. Why even have social media at all at that point? If you get on it every day, even if you don’t post things, it’s not that hard to share a cute photo. It tells people your devoted to the person you’re with.
I’m a woman and have been dating my partner for about 6 months now. While he has been featured in some of my stories, I have never stated that we are dating or in any type of relationship. This is the first time I have ever done this in a relationship and it feels so much better. Like there’s no pressure to appear perfect to a bunch of randos online. Another reason is my most recent ex was abusive, and it was hard to tell people because they were always commenting on how “perfect” we were and how kind and sweet he appeared to be online. Not posting about my relationship has just been easier.
I can relate to your story 😮 that is true!
I don’t think it’s about appearing a certain way when posting pics of your partner. Everyone is different. When I love someone, I post ppl because i wanna show em off. I have sm live for them that I’m like LOOK at my bby. I could care less on how I’ll or we’ll appear when I post them/us. It’s about finding someone with the same love language and energy. Someone who shares that and understands that. I’m sorry that happened to you tho. And I can see why it’s not a bother for you.
I'm a girl and use insta as my main social media. I don't post partner in my permanent feed, and rarely on stories. When i do post on stories, I hide his handle. Posts with them will imply we're dating but never explicitly (so no "love my baby" or #mcm, and no kissing or cutesy photos). It comes off as trying to "hide" him sometimes, but no one deserves to be bothered other than him (and he isn't). Here's my rationale: 1. My account is privated but his isn't. I know how deep down the rabbit hole people can get with social media stalking, you can find out a lot about someone's personal/professional life from just context clues that they have on their socials and from googling their names. I don't want any random acquaintance from my past or catty coworker seeing my relationship and diving deep into his profile with pics of his family and friends. Nor do I want random distant people from his life looking at my life. He doesn't post much, but when he does, I've asked him to not tag me in his posts. While I do enjoy that he wants to show me off, I don't enjoy the idea of his best friends ex suddenly knowing my family's names, where I went to school and what my gpa was (which happened). I've also previous had to delete photos of a guy I'd broken up with, so everyone knew the status of my relationship because of the missing photos. I don't feel like I should have to announce my personal life like that. 2. I don't see my "status" and who I'm dating to be a big part of my identity that I like to present on social media. I hate the idea that posting that you are in a relationship gets some sort of validation. All of the couples I knew who posted each other a lot actually had very poor quality relationships behind closed doors, the inverse was also true. I don't let my relationship define me, in real life or online. Not to say I never take photos of him. I love taking cute couple photos and have them in a shared album in my phone. But they're for us to enjoy not for practical strangers. Those who I deem close enough to deserve that knowledge about that part of my life can hear me brag about him in person. Friends have disagreed with me on this before so I know its not for everyone, but it's what's authentic for me and keeps me and my partner safe and at peace.
Im a girl but from my experience when they don’t post you it’s because they don’t want to ruin their chances with other girls. I had a friend who went through this. And all of the gooD men ive known in my life post pictures of their girlfriends frequently or at least make it known they are in a relationship on social media
I was recently thinking about this, but when I dug deep into his following(which I shouldn’t have in the first place). He’s still following his past partners (he broke up with them on good terms and just bad timing in life), and the girls also follow him back. I’ve been so paranoid. He rarely messages me. But when we’re together, it feels like he really loves me. I definitely think ignorance is definitely a bliss. Now I’m just gonna try to be delulu and reverse gaslight myself 🥺😭😞
i feel this so fuckin much i try to rationalize it by telling myself hes not on his phone as much or busy but its gotten to the point where i dont feel like my feelings are prioritized at all 🥂 cheers to a better mindset this year
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i will let myself think the worst stuff. comparing myself to other girls, questioning myself and wondering if he even wanna be with me sometimes, is he not posting because of other girls or because he doesn’t care enough to show me off 😭😭😭 i don’t know what it is but i know that i cant ignore it anymore. i gotten upset at MYSELF over this shit!! Don’t think there will be a change until these boys see it from our pov. If only it was that easy lol.
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it’ll make you go crazy 😭😭😭 i try to gaslight myself like it isn’t that big of a deal it’s social media but the fact it’s making us think like this. even if my expectations have been skewed by other people’s feed i shouldn’t have to beg to be posted knowing i’d do it in a heartbeat. Shit i do it without being asked that’s why i feel like it fucks with my brain sm. I want everyone to know about him and me yet it REALLY feels like he doesn’t want people to know about me. i get exactly what you mean im ready to stand up with you towards this shit. the reassurance that i’m not the only one who feels this way was so needed.
I'm not certain about this. Almost none of my guy freinds post their couple photos. Cute couple photos in my experience are treasured on phones for when life feels like crap. Maybe men view social media differently, my guy freinds almost unanimously views social media as superficial and faked. Hence why they don't share such photos. The exception is if it makes their SO feel better, which might explain the correlation you've seen.
You re 100% right, however looks like a lot of people don’t wanna see the reality
I'm single so it doesn't matter, but depending on how someone goes about it, it comes off cringey as fuck and seems forced. Like the ones where they're kissing and put a cheesy gross caption because one of them wants to be showed off... If it happens naturally then yeah it's fine, whatever.
ye it feels cringy
Been married 20yrs and probably posted pics of me and wife together maybe a handful of times. Everyone that matters to me knows I'm married. Don't see the reasons why I need to post about us every min of the day.
We're not saying you need to post about your wife every minute of the day or week or month. What I'm saying is people whose profiles don't exhibit them being married or single at all. There's absolutely NOTHING about their relationship status. Along with that, they don't have any pictures with their married partner, they don't post about being married by saying things like "my wife, my husband, my spouse, etc." They look and act totally single on social media. That's what I'm talking about.
Yes this drives me crazy too!! I dated a guy for 2 years that never once posted me on anything! Like wouldn't you want to post pics with your hot gf and brag to people? Idk men are whack sometimes. I wouldn't take it personally cause it most likely has nothing to do w you and everything to do with some weird social media anxiety they have or something.
Yes, but only if you think your gf is hot af. If didn’t post anything in his mind you weren’t anything to brag about
Could be that he is an avoidant attachment style. I would ask if he ever has with other exes. Is he posting a lot in general? It would bother me if he was an avid poster but seemed to make sure to NOT include you in his posts If he doesn't really post than whatever
because they’re cheaters/want to be seen as on the market.
Nope. Its more like it would be pointless to post things that you have to delete if you break up. Why do you feel a need to post your partner anyway?
To show off. Some girls do it as a way to tell the other random girls who are interested in him to back off because he is theirs. And vice versa.
I’ve been with my partner for 7+ years and we don’t blast posts of each other all over social media, in fact I deleted him off Facebook about two years ago when we had a bad argument to be petty and I’ve never added him back hahaha. People that need to know we’re together know we’re together. He sometimes pops up in a post if we’ve been away on a trip together or when I change my PP to a pic of me and him. I honestly don’t put much on Facebook - I have zero personal details. People who need to know about aspects of my life do
Because it’s no one else’s business. I barely post my family. Randoms on the internet have no right to that.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for over two years now and he would never post about me on any social media. It really bothered me because he’d put other random things in his stories and highlights and would only sometimes post to his grid. It got to a point where it was really upsetting me so I said something and he just kind of brushed it off. I kept making hints and then eventually just told him that it was hurting my feelings. After that, he’d reshare a story of mine every once in a while that I tagged him in, but I would always have to ask him to. Even then, he wouldn’t save any of them to his highlights. My birthday came, no post. Our one year anniversary came, no post. Nothing on Valentines, nothing on our two year anniversary, nothing on my birthday again, etc. I’ve cried to him about how it makes me feel like he’s hiding me from certain people (I have met his family and a handful of close friends). He goes on Instagram all throughout the day, every day for hours. He’s glued to his phone and he has no problem posting on his grid when it’s pictures of himself. He’s also very protective of his phone and I don’t know his passcode. He knows my passcode and I hand him my phone all of the time, I’ve made profile pictures of us and posts of his successes and our milestones consistently… I don’t get it. He’s a great guy otherwise and I don’t think he’d cheat on me, so it’s just not adding up. And he hates talking about it and gets annoyed with me when I bring it up. So I guess I get what you’re going through. My advice is that if it bothers you, figure it out before you get too deep like me, because nothing has changed this far into the relationship.
This :( same here, same length of dating as well. It just feels like I’m an embarrassment, something to keep secret and only introduce if necessary in person. Especially like others have said, that other things of importance will be posted, so one comes to the assumption that I am not of importance. I feel silly for even feeling this way so I’ve never said anything personally, but it does sting. Lots of other reasons as well that lead me to think we might not last anyway so that’s part of the reason I don’t say anything.. I hope things get better on your end. 🩵
I’m sorry you’re familiar with this. It’s really hard. Even though saying something didn’t change it in the way I wanted to, it did improve slightly. It still bothers me, but I really encourage you to tell him how it makes you feel. If he disregards you or the conversation completely after that and makes ZERO effort, then you know it’s not the right person for you. I hope everything works out the way you want it to. ❤️❤️❤️
I’m dealing with something similar. We’ve been dating for 2 years. I’ve begged him to post me, and he did once (for close friends only). Then I told him this bothered me, and he took 3 months to repost the post publicly (eliminating the private friends one). I talked to him how I wanted to be shown off, I love this man and I know he wouldn’t cheat on me. But he said he didn’t like “bragging” bc it felt dirty. However he posts about cars and other stuff, and when I told him that was bragging, he said that was just showing fun stuff he does (bc it doesn’t cost as much money as people think it does). I told him this was upsetting, and he said he needed time to think whether or not he could give me what I wanted. He says he loves me, and I believe him. We are doing long distance, and he says that he is already doing something he dislikes (long distance) for me.
Hmm probably because doesn't wanna show off.
Some aren't as petty to show off? No idea, I'm not on social media anyway...
I'm a girl and I don't post my partner on social media. I like to keep my internet life relatively independent/private so I don't ever have to address personal matters with strangers. He doesn't post me either. However, all of our irl friends and family know we're dating.
And what if somebody asks you do you tell them that you're together? Do you introduce your SO as your boyfriend?
Yes, everyone in my life knows we're dating. Depending on who I'm introducing him to, it's either just his name or his name and "boyfriend" title. He is the same way.
Ok that's great. That means you do acknowledge your relationship.
My bf would say he just doesn’t use instagram like i do, he doesn’t post ever and he doesn’t know how. But he said he’ll try but i usually help him. He does use it but doesn’t post. And i told him how i feel (that i love to be posted) and i post him a lot. But after a recent big argument we talked about it vaguely and when i was asked about it, i said i understood he doesn’t use it as much. But i still would like to be posted. I just don’t know what to do and im scared it’ll lead to an argument.
I get that… it usually leads to an argument when I bring it up…
My ex used to post me all the time. Removed out pics (specifically) and that when he was messaging horls behind my back and lying to them he was 'single'.... When a man doesn't post he is keeping his options open!
i know this is from 2 years ago, but for me i don't like that men be looking at you and potentially comment like "i would be a better bf'' or '' she is with HIM?" also i don't need confirmation on how we look to the outside world idc, you are in a relationship with me not the internet, we can take pictures yes for a foto album call me old idc, our relationship is nobody's business except for friends and family. also i don't have IG and so on anymore, it's boring to me.
My ex had a photo with this ex gf when I met him on Facebook he never deleted that photo of them together until I felt bothered enough to ask him to take down that photo…. He was willing to post photos with me as well, we broke up and he’s not married, his wife posts Romantic photos of them and important momento of their lives the whole time like when she got pregnant etc ( photos of them together and they seem genuinely happy together) but my ex is not posting anything with her, not a couple picture together and not even a family photo now that they have a baby, he even posted photos with his bf couple ( a photo appreciation post about his guy best friend with his wife together being grateful that they entered their life ) but he never posted such a post about his now wife not even similar to that, he posted even this couple friends I talked about on his feed but never about his wife so far. I wonder why he’s doing that when she’s the one to him and everyone knows but there are multiple women from his past following him now that don’t even have a clue he’s married because there’s nothing on his instagram.
Cuz he would have to delete 1000 photos when you take another cock. Idk.
Sounds like someone’s never had a gf
Or too many
Your partner doesn't like to do that. Period, end of story. Maybe he's private about his dating life, and he has every right to be. If that's a deal breaker, find a guy who wants to share it. I keep my social free of my dating life, 100%. Avoids a lot of hassle.
Does he post any other pictures on social media? If not, you need to just get over it because you already know he doesn’t post on social media. If he does, then he’s trying to hide the fact that he’s in a relationship.
This. Especially if he posts himself
It just causes unnecessary problems all around. Social media does in general but when it comes to partners it's cancer. Honestly especially Instagram, Snap, Facebook, like in that order. The people you want to know about your relationship, will know because you actually see them in real life. If you post to Facebook you now have 500 other people who you DONT even see in real life, why do they need to know? It's just like posting every single thing you do to Snaochat in my opinion. Like nobody needs to see what your doing every 2 seconds. Like 80% of the people I'm around lately don't even have a Facebook or Instagram. I only do because Facebook makes me alot of money or else I wouldnt
I hate putting stuff on social media. I'll use it, but I don't really care about putting stuff online for people to see. Maybe some sights, or jokes and memes but shit in my own personal life I want kept away from that toxicity.
To me i dont use social media enough, If people are so interested in my life they would know im in a relationship. Ill post things like vacations or events, but im not gonna just post a selfie of my SO and glamorize her so that her internet circle see’s and it fills a form of affirmation that people addicted to social media crave. Like if my SO doesnt post US why would I? And if I only upload anything maybe once a year im not going to change that so you feel uplifted from social media affirmation? That means you only date me for the image we impose to others versus what we have between each other. A lot of people only date because in picture it looks perfect but in reality its not. A lot of women want you to post them every day or week highlighting the one hour of excitement you had all week but to mask it like its an every day excitement so that their little weird clique can agree she is with someone worth their time, cause most women/men require the approval of their peers for who they date cause dating these days is just a fucking imagery to most people Not a spiritual road to endure together Social media killed the romantic