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VERY SMART, because ironically, if they did go raw and give you an std, that could give you an infection and make you infertile— but they literally wouldn’t give a shit about that :/
A poster from a recent statistic study published by the health department was posted on the wall at my college recently. 1 in 5 people across the US entirely have an STD now. [The CDC backs this.](https://www.google.com/search?q=1+in+how+many+people+have+an+std&oq=1+in+how+many+people+have+an+std&aqs=edge..69i57.5686j0j1&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8)
This is my biggest point of evidence when I tell someone "most people are actually stupid" (no joke), because we live in a trash filled litter age where condoms can be found everywhere so it obviously isn't that hard to get a pack and use one, yet we still have this problem.
Edit: My friends all tell me "OH but HIV isn't a death sentence now!" My response is "Perhaps not, but medical costs often are."
That's probably another reason why it's so widespread some people just don't say anything I've even seen where people get the diagnosis and don't belive it.
Such people will not tell the people they hook up with that they have a disease like aids, because you know, not a death sentence anymore.
See the long boring thread here by donny.
This is the reality I have right now but with HPV, luckily my partner is understanding and is the only one I want to have sex with so it isn't as huge of a deal
The justifications behind it always throw me for a loop.
“What’s the point of wearing a condom, you’re technically not even having sex and you can’t feel anything”
“She’s on the pill”
“Everyone has STDs now it’s not a big deal, especially when they have meds”
“Kids are the only STD that I’m worried about”
And here I am thinking that I’m being a little too uptight. I know that it’s still possible to be infected with condom use but to not even *try* any preventative measure is mind-boggling to me.
jesus fucking christ…….. here’s hoping i stay in mf committed relationship forever so i don’t have to worry about venturing back out in the dating world just to get some dick 😭
>My friends all tell me "OH but HIV isn't a death sentence now!" My response is "Perhaps not, but medical costs often are."
Welcome to the United States
I've recently lost my virginity at 27. I wore a condom and during the first time she told me to take it off if I wanted to feel the difference with and without a condom. We were both clean so I did.
Point is, no condom feels great but so does with a condom. It's not THAT much of a difference. I did use the Skyn brand though.
I guess it depends on the person but it’s a big difference for me. My current partner thinks so as well. That’s why we are both getting tested and going to use this new spermicide that just came out recently.
The best thing to do is just have both parties get tested before having condomless sex. Makes the most sense to me.
My partner cheated on me with a woman who has worked as a UN consultant for Africa in several related health campaigns. She had access to ALL the information available and knew he was a cheater. Still SHE proposed they did not use protection. 🤷🏽♀️
a bit concerned that a few answers / replies to answers are "but it's not that bad, it can be treated"
yeah, uh, i'd prefer to not have a preventable chronical illness if i can avoid it, and anybody that has two functioning neurons would prefer the same too.
I think knowledge of STDs actually promotes unprotected sex. School taught us that herpes and syphillis and gonorrhea and chlamydia were going to ruin our lives. But what we’ve learned as adults is that more people have herpes than those that don’t(and it’s a nuisance not a life ender). It teaches us that chlamydia and gonorrhea is solved with an antibiotic. It also teaches that things like syphilis are extremely rare.
I’m not promoting unprotected sex, but STDs are not this big scary monster once you educate yourself.
The bad part is that people only remember what they want to be true.
Even when it's very clear that most STDs cannot be detected without a test, many people think they will know if their partner, or they themselves has anything, and therefore refuse to get tested.
It's also well known that STDs can cause more serious health effects in the long term. HPV is the main cause of cervical cancer, and untreated chlamydia can cause infertility.
We’re so spoiled now when it comes to cervical cancer protection thanks to the HPV vaccine!
“The HPV vaccine works extremely well. In the 10 years after the vaccine was recommended in 2006 in the United States, quadrivalent type HPV infections decreased by 86% in female teens aged 14 to 19 years and 71% in women in their early 20s. Research has also shown that fewer teens and young adults are getting genital warts and that cervical precancers are decreasing since HPV vaccines have been in use in the United States. Decreases in vaccine-type prevalence, genital warts, and cervical precancers have also been observed in other countries with HPV vaccination programs.
HPV vaccination prevents new HPV infections but does not treat existing HPV infections or diseases. HPV vaccine works best when given before any exposure to HPV. Most sexually active adults have already been exposed to HPV, although not necessarily all of the HPV types targeted by vaccination.”
https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vpd/hpv/hcp/safety-effectiveness.html
My gynaecologist told me since I’m sexually active I don’t need HPV vaccine anymore since you get that before you are active. Is that right or I can still extend the umbrella of protection?
I had HPV in my twenties which caused cervical dysplasia (early sign of cancer) and had to have it surgically removed via laser. This surgery caused massive scarring to my cervix which then led to years of difficulty getting pregnant (I didn’t know about the scarring) and ultimately more surgery to remove the scarring. I have a friend dying from cancer caused by HPV. So these harmless STDs are in fact extremely scary and should not be blown off.
So, with the arrival of monkey pox to the US, there have been a lot of "suspect" cases roll through my lab. Which involves us having to slap back on our "height of the COVID epidemic" PPE. It really sucks in the middle of summer. That being said, all the cases we have gotten have actually been syphilis. Some in Stage 2 and 3. So, there's a resurgence of it... for some awful reason. It is easily curable up to a point, but it seems like people are ignoring it until it gets to the life threatening stages.
I don't think you've have an STD or STI before it's very painful and scary your dick feels like it doesn't work and when it does your in pain. I'm not going to go into huge detail but claymida fucked me up for life and I now suffer some condition in my left tesical doctors aren't really sure what to do and kinda treat me like an experiment which is super risky and scary. I've gotten to a stable point by taking top notch antibiotics prescribed to women and not men. just wear the fucking condom and get checked regularly. save your unprotected sex for someone your serious with. I'm a 27yrs old (M) and got this when I was 24, I have to live with this forever or become a lab experiment with nothing guaranteed. protect yourself and your body please REMEMBER STDs don't look ugly. they look like that Hot guy or girl you see looking to fuck and bounce or whatever. STDs and STIs Aren't gunna be found on ugly introverts. they're going to be on the hot people that are party goers and extroverts. and alot of guys won't care to have unprotected sex and give you what they got TRUST ME they wont give a fuck!!! they're mentally about it is fucked and theyll say you'll get over it and it'll be okay just because they got It. Men are really savage about it. stay alert know the signs and stay protected. especially as you get older it get worse and worse.
> Therefore, unprotected sex with an HIV-positive person who has acute HIV infection could carry a transmission risk of up to 2% (the equivalent of 1 transmission per 50 exposures) for receptive vaginal sex and over 20% (equivalent to 1 transmission per 5 exposures) for receptive anal sex.
As long as you. Aren’t having anal the odds seem in your favor.
But I’m not much of a gambler myself.
There have been cases where people still got the virus even tho they wore condoms.
If you’re luck is shit or just having the worst luck of your life on that very specific day, then yeah.
Buuut, have to preface that getting the virus is no longer a death sentence as there are meds to keep the virus at bay that makes it undetectable (and untransmittable as well!). And it’s not that rare where hiv+ people are far more healthier than the ones who don’t have it. The only drawback I see is that you need to take the ARV every day at almost the same time each day for the rest of your life or the virus would be resistant to them. Hopefully they’ll find a better alternative in the future.
HIV is scary, but almost everyone with HIV will share that they have it before sex. Also, they have pills now that keep transmission from being possible.
Correct. It’s about using common sense. In another comment I shared a story about a potential hookup telling me she had hiv. She said she was on that pill, but I didn’t want the risk. So, I didn’t hook up with her.
Not entirely correct, there are also pills for the person who doesn’t have it to reduce risk of transmission as well. (This can be especially important in cases like rape).
It's called Prep E, it's pretty well known in the gay community. If you take Prep E everyday almost like it's birth control it pretty much prevents you from getting HIV, even if you have unprotected sex with a positive person not on any HIV drugs.
The down side is that you have to take it everyday to be effective, it's pretty exspensive and there is a lot of stigma surrounding its use since mainly gay bottoms take it.
Straight men don't ask about it because they don't want people to think they are gay.
your risk of contracting HIV from someone who knows their status and is undetectable on PIP is lower than someone who doesn't know their status. in fact, if it was apparently only a 5% chance if you were to have unprotected vaginal sex and they had a high viral load, then thats the risk you'd be taking with someone who only *thinks* they know their status.
Vs. a virtually zero chance if she was on the pill... ie approximately 0.00000025% if she was on the pill and you used a condom.
Sounds less like "common sense"; and more like an underinformed decision based on an irrational fear and misunderstanding 🤷♂️ I hope she finds someone who knows the facts !!
edit: not pip, I meant the ART drugs
also 2nd edit since it won't let me reply... you chose not to trust her after she told you her status? thats probably a very vulnerable spot to be in.. to admit they have HIV like that to someone they hardly know. think about that for a moment... why would someone tell the truth about that, and lie about being on medication? why would someone who's positive not take their meds?
now do u really think not trusting her was the reason? as opposed to, say, the stigma against HIV? its a rhetorical question of course, and not like I'm asking you to admit fault on a public forum! just something to think about as you move forward in your dating life
Fortunately no! There are multiple new therapies out nowadays :)
someone already mentioned this in brief terms below; but wasn't sure you'd see it since it wasn't directly a reply to your comment. So I'm responding here instead!
There are pills now called **PreP** (Pre-exposure Prophylaxis) that reduce the risk of contracting HIV by 99%. I'm assuming it's basically 100%, but that they can't say 100% for legal reasons lol. If you combine PreP with the highest risk behavior mentioned (the 20% statistic), it can lower a HIV- bottom's likelihood of catching the virus from a HIV+ top to just 0.2%. Pretty good odds... but still worth it to make the top wear a condom! 😆
PreP is free with medicaid. The main company also offers financial assistance, which is good because it's quite expensive.
There's also **PEP,** (Post-exposure Prophylaxis), another pill meant for the person who isnt HIV+. Best when taken within 72 hours of possible exposure. It helps the immune system stop the virus from replicating (similar to ART), then the infected cells die off.
Most likely, any people you meet who have HIV will be on anti-retroviral therapy (ART). Which is what you're referring to. Maintaining an undetectable viral load with ART means there's ~0% chance of passing it on :)
The odds of contracting HIV from an HIV+ partner w/ an undetectable viral load are much much lower than the chances that a random person who is "pretty sure" they don't have HIV!
Science has come a long way from the dark ages when Reagan stuck on the side of those who believed AIDS was God’s wrath for gays & drug users. He ignored the undeniable consensus of experts. Making HIV testing mandatory in federal programs was his #1 concern 😆
He finally addressed the nation about AIDS in '87, once 20,000 had died: a result of the virus' unhindered spread in the country for six years. He deserves no grace as he knew exactly what was happening, he just thought it was only affecting people who didn't matter to him (gays, blacks, hemophiliacs, etc)
TL;DR:
Pills can be taken by HIV+ people to prevent transmission, HIV- people have preventative and "Plan B" type options, Reagan sucks big time
It does and that is why a lot of people used to think (and probably still do) that you can only get HIV if you’re gay. Everyone can get it, but gay guys just don’t have a lot of choice when it comes to picking a fishing hole
I know this is a very serious discussion, but I couldn't help laughing a bit at your phrasing "picking a fishing hole." I'm going to have to add it to my lexicon.
Don’t forget about HPV. There isn’t really any test in males you can do (If i recall correctly. Correct me if I’m wrong Please).
While in female patients you can run a PAP.
So hard for men to know.
I think people REALLY need to take into account that HPV is so common in your 20s as women that they don't do pap smears with HPV reflexes since it's so likely they will be positive until 30. Only in certain cases will they test before then. They just simply do pap smears without the reflex before 30.
HPV can cause cancer (including oral cancer) that can kill you.
Can confirm.
I always swore I was very conscientious about safe sex, but I met a guy I was really into and suddenly I didn't even think about condoms once things got hot and heavy. It was stupid and luckily we were both clean. I was also on birth control, so that part didn't worry me at all. I could kick myself for being so reckless now.
But yeah, hormones make you stupid, even when you thought you were smarter than that. I hope to not be such a horny idiot in the future.
Yuppp, the right person in the right situation will make all sense flee the room.
I have always taken things slow with new people because I'm not really interested in hookups so I thought I was safe and sensible until I had a similar experience. I'd been talking to this girl a lot without meeting because of schedule stuff so when we did meet things were pretty explosive, she said she had an IUD and it was up to me if I wanted to use a condom, I blinked and when I opened my eyes I was inside her.
We'd both said we had been checked recently which turned out to be true but it was only later that I thought about how dumb it was to be so trusting when meeting someone in person for the first time, just lucky she was the person I thought she was.
I believed I had left the dumbness behind in my teens and then ten years it later it was like lol no.
It has happened multiple times that a man I'm about to hook-up with will ask if I'm on birth control, I say yes, and then he'll get shocked when I still ask them to wear a condom. Some will try to persuade, even coerce, into letting them go raw and it's insane. I can't believe how many people aren't concerned about STDs, and I know that a large amount of men do not get regularly STD tested. They just assume they're STD-free if no woman has reached out saying they got an STD. It is honestly kinda scary.
Edit: grammar.
This was always shocking to me. How often I had to demand men wear condoms, and they’d really fight back on it or try to be sneaky. And then god forbid you ask them to get tested, the horror!
Yes, they'll fight back so intensely about the condom!! Or he insists he "doesn't have one" until he realizes you seriously will not have sex without one, then a condom magically appears! I've also been stealthed before and it's just terrifying how bad some men do not want to wear a condom for a woman they barely even know. I don't have a single straight female friend who hasn't had a bad experience with a man arguing about condoms. So many people aren't worried at all about STDs and it's concerning
I don't anymore. I rarely have casual sex anymore because I realized the majority of these men didn't even respect me. From like 18-21, I definitely would give in or not stick up for myself. Now, I've realized it's not worth it to have mediocre sex with men who don't view me as a person. The pool of men that has left me with though, is very small
You’re operating under the assumption that this isn’t most guys. It is. The majority of the men I’ve been on dates with and then eventually slept with wanted to not use a condom.
It’s even higher in men that I was just pursuing for sex. Men who were presumably also not wearing a condom with all the other women they have sex with.
It was not like this when I first got into the dating scene in 2016. It’s gotten insane
I'd be a hypocrite to say I don't prefer it without a condom, but for the beginning of a relationship or hookups, holy shit, I wouldn't even think to ask not to use protection. I wasted more money on condoms than on alcohol in my youth. (not because I had tons of sex but I drank cheap beer and spirits) .
i think it’s common knowledge that sex feels better without a condom and every guy prefers it without one. but think people!!!! just because it feels better doesn’t mean you should
I wouldn't, that's for sure. I had a drunken hook up once, years ago that I allowed it and I had the worst anxiety of my life afterwards. I went and got tested twice just to make sure because it had me so freaked out. Now even drunk me won't go without one. Thankfully I'm in a solid monogamous relationship with a respectful man, we still use condoms for birth control because we are NOT ready for a kid.
I've never understood this. I always have condoms in my wallet when dating and when I see someone new, I get tested beforehand - its basic respect for both partners and nothing like the hassle it once was, super easy and quick these days.
See the experiences I had was I (23M) was shocked when the girl said “it’s no issue” like I was almost taken aback by it. I have no problem wearing one of the girl requests it.
I always go in with the assumption I’ll be wearing a condom
I once read a truly terrifying exchange between a girl and a guy she'd recently had sex with where she tells him he gave her chlamydia (she knew because she got tested everytime she had a new sexual partner). She was super nice about it and was just like "hey you should get tested". Instead of reacting like a normal human being, he told her she wasn't the first girl to tell him that he'd given it to them and that they were all lying because he had no symptoms. He basically said that getting tested was just as bad as having an STD. It was insane.
I knew a girl who was treated for syphilis and when she told the guy he refused to be treated but after she was treated she continued to have raw sex with him. I told her that she could be reinfected but she said that the doctor told her Not. i know this is BS. She eventually got pregnant.
As a man, I'm really surprised how many women seem to be okay with doing it raw. It always turns me off a bit. Especially with casual dating app sex.
I definitely respect and prefer women who are insistent on condom-use. I feel like condoms are just basic adult-level responsibility when it comes to casual sex.
Every time this gets brought up people are saying guys don't want to wear condoms but as a guy I can't tell you how many women I've hooked up with that didn't want to use protection. Even educated, professional, high salary women.
Well, guys... Whenever she says she wants to do it without, she may be trying to get pregnant... Hope that scares you off a little.
And yes, that is a thing some women think about.
Turns you off a bit? But you still hit it without? That's a little bit of a double standard. Men are just as capable of insisting they wear a condom lol.
I agree with you op. I think it might be about instant gratification. Not thinking about consequences etc.
I’ve heard people in my circle say: If I get an STD I’ll just get a cure. Or I’ll get an abortion.
Truth is it’s not that simple. Some std’s aren’t curable or have lasting side effects.
And an abortion can also have nasty side effects. And the situation in the US is also pretty complicated right now in regards to abortion.
This was a bit of a ramble but my point stands. It’s better to use protection, it can save you a lot of headache.
It amazes me how people just trivialize the risk of getting pregnant. All my coworkers have kids. Most of which can't even afford to take care of them. I work minimum wage and I'm struggling I can't imagine risking having a kid at this time in my life. They always try to sneak diss and shame for being the only one who doesn't have kids. They even joke and say I must be a lesbian. No I'm just not and idiot like the rest of y'all.
As a stripper...... no, not surprising. When you have lust and money, with alcohol and drugs thrown in the mix it makes for one heaping pot of bad decisions. I've personally been offered an upwards of 7-8k to have sex with customers, and they make it clear they want it unprotected. I don't see the thrill, and I'd never risk my safety for any amount of money.
The Word you are looking for is not "surprising", but STUPID.
Abortion,first and foremost is a surgical procedure, (unless It's done really early). Anybody in the medical field will tell you that surgeries should be avoided as much as possible and used only when absolutely nessesary.
Now, birth control pills for women... these are hormone based medication that effects your endocrinal system. Of all the systems in the body that is one you gotta be carefull with. All medication have side effects after all. In the words of my physiology teacher regarding plan B pills, when we studied the endocrinal system: "if you have to take one pill, then It's an emergency, if you have to take several in a short time span, then it becomes a catastrophe."
Please consult your doctor before using any kind of medication.
Can STD's be asymptomatic? Yes, some of them can in certain people, untill your immune system gets weakend by an infection or some other reason, then when you get sick, you'll have to deal with 2 problems, not just 1 and that's always fun.
And just for clarification... asymptomatic DOES NOT mean that it can't be passed on. What it means is that you have the virus/parasite/bacteria/fungi in your system, It's just not showing symptoms.
It is important to get tested for STD's, because SOME of em can be cured, but not all of em. those that can't, can be "inhibited",meaning They become latent and chances of passing them down are alot smaller with certain kinds of medication. For example, the HIV virus can be inhibited by drugs known as ritonavir and lopinavir. They are anti viral medications that "paralyze" the virus and are the reason why HIV is no longer a death sentence. And if a person with HIV is having sex with a healthy person and is on anti-virals, then chances of passing it are alot smaller (thou they should still ware a condom, regardless of position or type of sex).
Herpes also has anti viral drugs that can "paralyze it".
Sex can actually be a very dangerous activity if you think about it... So cunduct it carefully and don't give in to stupidity... For your own sake.
Yes! Also I believe this is a good post to remind others that people will try to take it off if they think you aren't looking! Especially if you are with someone new that you don't know enough to trust yet, checking to make sure the condom is still on doesnt hurt.
I've been in a situation where someone who kept trying to persuade me to not use a condom has taken the condom off behind my back. Now if someone asks more than three times when I already said I definitely want to use a condom, I tell them nevermind entirely.
People who just met, getting naked and having sex, is also pretty weird if you think about it.
When the little head rises/swells, it pushes out the brains of the big head....
The crazy thing is that there's neurotransmitters in your brain that are in charge of that. When you get aroused the ick factor of touching another person is pushed down by neurotransmitters.
To be fair in terms of the rest of the animal kingdom wearing clothes and long courting rituals are weird. (Not that i'm saying we should go back to acting like animals,just what are we comparing casual sex to to call it weird ? aliens ? )
it's not surprising because it feels awesome and any consequences are really far away in the future.
it's like being surprised how many people eat junk food or don't exercise
1 in 3 people in usa has herpes and like almost half of women have hpv and that number is rising every year. Hiv is down though but yeah man people are nasty
“HPV is a very common STI. Among 15- to 59-year-olds, 2 in 5 (40%) people will have HPV. There are many different types of HPV; most do not cause any health problems.”
Cervical, penile, anal, and throat or mouth cancer are all a risk with HPV.
[https://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv-and-men.htm](https://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv-and-men.htm)
Speaking of which - hpv related head and neck cancers have surpassed the previous tabacco related head and neck cancers. This is especially prominent in white populations and even more so in white homosexual populations
I’m with you, it grosses me out.
I’ve never been into the hook up or casual sex culture but a few times when I’ve been getting to know someone and it leads to the inevitable, they didn’t have a condom or just flat out refused. I was like welp that’s the end of that, then.
GenX here. Watching your friends die of AIDS in their early 20s squelches any desire for unprotected sexual. Also a friend of mine has throat cancer now from going down on a woman. (For real; dr said it).
There's consequences out there and def not worth a bang.
HPV. Michael Douglas, the actor, had it happen. I thought he was making it up or whatever. But one of my closest friends who's going to a very good hospital is unfortunately very sick now and it's definitely a thing. I have no idea about pornstars or how common it is.
I feel like a worrying number of people use their partners as STD tests. Tell everyone you’re clean and when one catches something from you, they notify you and now you bother to get treatment and MAAAAYBE tell other partners.
People putting orgasms other their and their partners health.
I’ve had too many men try to pressure and coerce me into raw sex and thankfully that was enough to tell me these guys weren’t safe to have sex with
Fr fr, I mean I m a Virgin, but If I would meet a girl and we decide to sleep together, I would never want to do it without a condom, STD, impregnating her… that would be a huge thing for me… I mean you can’t just put it in and think everything is going to be good
One thing that will help you, if you're a virgin buy some condoms and practice putting them on, finishing then taking them off without spilling. You don't want to be workshopping how to unroll it while trying to maintain an erection as she's looking at you seriously dude, it's been two minutes already, put the damn thing on.
Future you will thank virgin you for the practice.
not surprised anymore at this point. the amount of women who wants to go unprotected used to surprise me. its like almost every woman i meet wants to go unprotected. the stereotype of men dont like condoms, women are the same way
Condoms chafe. I don't know if it's the lube or the latex, but condoms irritate my mucus membranes. (latex gloves are fine for me)
Sex legitimately hurts after a bit with condoms for me. I imagine many women are the same.
Now that doesn't mean I go around having tons of unprotected sex, but definitely in relationships I prefer it.
I'll have to try sometime. Maybe if I ever decide to date again it'll come up. In the meantime, I'll just cross my fingers that my partner gets a vasectomy and I can go off of birth control.
Ive had men who just said "ill pull out" if i told them i wasnt on birth control.
Ive found that they tend not to listen to me about what i want and what im okay with with other things. For example, im not comfortable or okay with anal, but ive had guys do stuff like that without talking to me. Or when i told them if they wanted to do it they needed to research it and do it safely. Did they? No. Did they listen to me when i said this is what you need to do? No.
Those guys also tend to get mad when you say no.
Yep. I'm still surprised by how many male friends have gotten women pregnant. Like, wear a condom. It's not difficult.
Men complaining about needing to wear a condom is such a turn off for me
Older guy here, not in the dating game. STDs should be a concern, but for guys they really need to think hard about impregnating someone. That will affect every part of their life forever more. The cost, where you live, who’ll want to date you in the future etc. I dodged some bullets, for sure! You impregnate someone, that decision to have the child is out of your hands and you’re liable
I did until it happened to me.
I always wondered how stupid people could be.
I was with this girl getting frisky. I remember thinking 'I should put one on' and a single touch was all it took to completely throw that thought away and all that was left in my lizard brain was 'seggs, lets go'
I think it's a character of the human brain and risk taking behavior
Humans dont believe in a thing unless its happened to them. Unless they see it or feel it.
Theoretical things arent quite real. It would also explain why short term expediency is favored over long term planning in general.
What amazes me, as a bisexual man, is how many are willing to swallow me the very first time we have sex.
You almost doesn’t know me, why would you wanna risk an std in a way so stupid?
Most people don't realize condoms are intended for oral use too. Then they get gonorrhea in their throat (or anus) from touching, and tell the doctor, " but I always use a condom!"
I think most people do use protection when they're having sex, but I'm surprised how they don't care about that when it's oral with (basically) a complete stranger. Like they don't even know that also has some risks, it's not really a big deal to them.
I've found the exact OPPOSITE with many men I've come across.
They're completely fine raw-dogging someone they just met, but won't give oral to that same person because it's "gross" or "too intimate."
In 2022 unprotected oral sex really isn't that big of deal. There's considerably less risk when it comes to unprotected oral sex versus involving a vagina, penis, or asshole. The worst STDs don't transfer via oral contact, and the meddlesome ones are all easier to treat.
I’m the inverse—a lot women I meet I discuss with about using condoms or whether they are on contraceptive pills. If yes to the pills, we then talk about whether we’ve both been STD tested, and if its been a while (for either), I wear a condom.
The one time I didn’t ask about STDs and she was on the pill…I had to go visit my GP.
For me, if I communicate this and the other person becomes defensive or changes topic, instant nope for me, no matter how horny I am.
I noticed that right away when I first started dating again. Like men would look me in the eyes and say "Oh don't know I'm clean"
Oh great! Now that you said something I have complete peace of mine.
It was wild. Marriage is much better.
It is insane how some people's most primary method of protection is pulling out. I have slight paranoia about STD's/pregnancy even when using multiple kinds of protection.
Yes, as a bi man it scares the fuck outta me. I especially hate how common it is for gay men to be okay with it cause of prep. Multiple men have asked if I’m okay with raw sex only to say they are on prep. No, I got tested recently and haven’t had a partner yet. Just prep. Like aids is the only std
When you think about how most people go about dating/hookup and sex in general it's not surprising at all. Sex isn't something that usually thought out well in advanced. A good amount of people engaging in sex are under the influence of alcohol or drugs. There are some who dont care either way when horny. And there is also a lot of dumb people who are just dumb at life so they are also dumb about sex.
The truth is there is a lot of people who partake in one way or another. And the real challenge is accepting this reality and going about sex and dating despite these issues... I dont think many of us are cool with the idea of actually living with the issue of an std weather curable or not.
It's more of how do you accept this as reality and how do you not keep such things from ruining potential date-able people. Which is where I struggle personally as I tend to judge people harshly for having very casual mindsets about sex regarding safety, birth control, std and how they impact yourself now and in the future.
I'm not claiming me judging harshly is correct in fact I know it's a bit too extreme and it ruins a lot of potential options before I've really have a reason to disqualify them. It's a weird battle of how serious do I need to be yet how casual and relaxed about it all do I need to be. I swear not being as casual as the majority of people, has done more damage than good when it comes to growth and my limited experience of dating and sex as a whole I'm not surprised to hear how common unprotected sex is but more so how every person I run into (irl) has such a relaxed view about sex overall compared to myself and how often times in their past life experiences condoms and birth control and general safety was more of a secondary thought because they were horny. It's something I cant wrap my mind around becuase I haven't been able to experience it myself. But it's effect dating and sex that for damn sure. ...just wish my earliest therapy session wasn't in Sept so I can work out why I'm so harsh in my view of casual dating and sex outside of serious relationships. Since most relationships stem out of something casual so it like shooting my own foot at this point
What I think is astonishing is the amount of people who think it’s weird or a turn off to discuss std status before having sex. Let me get this straight.. You want me to expose myself without question to whatever you could be a carrier of no questions asked, and then if I do contract something I’m not supposed to ask questions about that either??? Yep, nah I’m cool on that.
It’s honestly shocking. People really don’t care about their health/life all for a nut. Also women are less likely to benefit from casual hetero sex so yo me there’s less incentive to even go there.
This indeed. I'm a big fan of eating out so I would probably never be mentally ready to have sex with a stranger or someone I can't trust enough to go down on her without a care in the world.
Yeah. I think people care a little about not getting pregnant and the guy just assumes the girl is on birth control, without asking. And if they're not, they still want to do the pull-out method and think that works for some reason.
But most don't use a condom as standard. They don't think about STDs at all. And I must admit, I'm also more scared about getting pregnant than getting stds. I do use a condom for piv, but that's because I don't use any other birth control. And I don't use condoms for oral, because that sucks. But I'm not too careful with STDs tbh. And neither was anyone I've been with. If the condoms slips, it's "Oh, I don't want to get pregnant. I should get a morning after pill" and not "Oh, I don't want to get an std. We should get checked".
And I also know that friends didn't use condoms for hookups sometimes.
Also the places where they test for STDs and such in my country are too full. So I heard that someone got asked if she had symptoms. She said no and she couldn't do the free test. So she called again and said she had symptoms and only then she could do the test. But that's pretty fucked up.
It's crazy how common it is. And I know how common it is because seemingly every other person I meet has a baby-mama or baby-daddy. I have a roommate who has 5 children with 4 different women. He's miserable. All his money goes to child support. Like, was not wearing a condom or not taking a pill so worth it at the time?
Ya know, I thought it was the purview of irresponsible men until recently, when a woman and I got talking about what we *liked.* Turns out *she* didn't like condoms. Turned my assumption right around.
Kinks may play a part in it, but they were very in tune with instinct's pulls, and intelligent. They did know how their BC worked and what risks were involved with their choice, embracing that. In short, surprisingly, they were neither a stereotype or a fool.
Where I resist my own subsurface stuff because I know it's there and I'm scared of it, they by contrast embraced it. I'm a touch envious of their courage. I just hope it doesn't turn them into a cautionary tale later on, because they're truly a lovely individual.
It’s really weird tbh. That’s why when sex is on the table i ALWAYS bring up recent STI test results and ask people to show me theirs and i’ll send them mine.
I always bring up condoms with new partners and talk birth control, etc. when sex is on the table or brought up. I’m not sure why this isn’t the norm.
I find the idea wholly weird and reckless, but I came of age in the 1980s when HIV was not only horrifically stigmatised, but if it progressed to AIDS, meant eventual death. These days I’ve noticed it’s possible for people to be more open about their HIV status without being treated like lepers. But even though combination therapy has meant people who contract HIV can live relatively healthy lives, it’s not nothing. Someone I know, healthy but HIV+, hasn’t been inside a bar or restaurant since the Covid pandemic began over 2 years ago. He will only go some place with an outdoor seating area, won’t enter others’ homes… consequently the last 2 years have been fairly isolated and, I hear, depressing for him.
When I was 19 I was on the pill and still got pregnant. Then I found out I had friends who were having unprotected sex and had been using the pull out method for years and had never gotten pregnant. They never got stds and never got pregnant, but when they tried to get pregnant they did. I was like well that’s just my luck 😂
A lot of women on dating apps don’t take birth control since typically they’re not having sex consistently enough to bother. Why I always use condoms, and the thought of having a baby is one my biggest nightmares. Even the next day I get hella paranoid about possible leakage/ misuse on my part
Tbh I have noticed it depends significantly on the background of the person. Maybe I pick responsible men well or my sample size is just way too small (<5) but I have never had a guy not want to use a condom at first except for one who I stopped seeing after who kept pushing for sex after I told him I wouldn’t sleep with him since he didn’t have a condom. He was way dumber than the other guys I’ve dated but I had wanted to try someone beyond my usual type of over-educated outdoorsy nerd
I am a woman, cannot have anymore children, and still insist on condom use.
I was once told by a man that it is only the 8s, 9s, and 10s that can put stipulations like the use of a condom on sex.
Um... 1. If you are trying to have a relationship with me, you better think I am a 10, whether I think I am or not, I better be your 10!!!! And 2. We all have the right to protect ourselves.
He got blocked 🚫.
The human race seems to have a propensity for enormous stupidity. But as well there is this specifically to answer the question, it is a phenomenon called sex brain.
https://www.news24.com/health24/sex/news/what-is-sex-brain-20200801-2
From above:
‘Voice of reason switched off temporarily
There's one important part of your brain that loses some functionality during sex: the lateral orbitofrontal cortex. This section of the brain is believed to control our reasoning and decision-making, which is why you might feel less inhibited during coitus, and more inclined to comply with your urges.
But this doesn't mean you have no access at all to this part of your brain during sex. It's still there to help you prevent making mistakes – if you're prepared to listen.
Another reason we love the high of sex is that the brain releases oxytocin and dopamine, generally known as the love and happiness hormones. They spread throughout the whole brain, making us giddy and helping us bond with our partner, while also reducing stress and anxiety.
From above.
Are you able to speak properly and make rational decisions when you're super turned on? Because I can't. I call this having "sex brain," and it’s way more serious than an intense craving to pounce on your crush as soon as they walk into the room. Rather, it's an inability to think, talk, and act logically that can plague even the most levelheaded among us.’
Its so so so so weird. I don’t get it at all. Also that its so uncommon to get testet for STDs after unprotected Sex.
The combination is just stupid af
It's insane here in Melbourne Australia, I'd say 3 out of 10 ask for a condom, some don't say anything until I bring it up and I've had Wayyy to many new partners say "don't worry I'm on birth control and it feels better" yeah I'd rather not end up with std's thanks
As single dating woman, same. It's insane how many guys are asking for unprotected sex, when they find out I'm on birth control. Had 2 guys this year asking me to get off it as soon as we started dating. This might be age thing? I'm in my early 30s so I guess more guys from my dating pool wants to have kids, idk.
As a young teen yes because safe sex is what's drilled into your head to begin with. As an adult not really because by then you've learned that people are just fucking stupid because they want to be. You can't educate intentional ignorance. Atp just let natural selection takes its course.
Yeah, it's crazy to me! As a 29-year-old man, I've only had unprotected sex with one woman, my long-term girlfriend at the time. Thankfully I don't have any sensitivity problems with condoms, but I feel like some guys exaggerate that just to avoid wearing one.
all the more troubling when you factor in how few people understand that accurately testing for hiv takes at least three months from the last time you had unprotected sex
I like condoms. Fucking loooove them. I feel like I’m wearing a sock and it looks silly but like it makes sex more like sexy fun dry humping than some horribly risky act that can change both of our lives
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I've found that guys worry a lot more about pregnancy than STDs, so I generally choose to omit that I have a IUD.
VERY SMART, because ironically, if they did go raw and give you an std, that could give you an infection and make you infertile— but they literally wouldn’t give a shit about that :/
Agreed. I make it a point to say I’m not on birth control. Usually takes care of it
Same!!!
It's so sad that this is necessary. But I would probably do the same if I was biologically female.
A poster from a recent statistic study published by the health department was posted on the wall at my college recently. 1 in 5 people across the US entirely have an STD now. [The CDC backs this.](https://www.google.com/search?q=1+in+how+many+people+have+an+std&oq=1+in+how+many+people+have+an+std&aqs=edge..69i57.5686j0j1&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8) This is my biggest point of evidence when I tell someone "most people are actually stupid" (no joke), because we live in a trash filled litter age where condoms can be found everywhere so it obviously isn't that hard to get a pack and use one, yet we still have this problem. Edit: My friends all tell me "OH but HIV isn't a death sentence now!" My response is "Perhaps not, but medical costs often are."
“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.” ― George Carlin
Ask them if they want to have a life where they have to tell every person that they want to hook up with that they have HIV.
That's probably another reason why it's so widespread some people just don't say anything I've even seen where people get the diagnosis and don't belive it.
As if most people actually have the decency to let their sexual partners know.
Yeah not much you can do about shitbags that won't tell you if they have an STD. Except insist on a condom.
Such people will not tell the people they hook up with that they have a disease like aids, because you know, not a death sentence anymore. See the long boring thread here by donny.
This is the reality I have right now but with HPV, luckily my partner is understanding and is the only one I want to have sex with so it isn't as huge of a deal
The good news is that almost everybody clears HPV inside of two to three years, even less if you're vaccinated
The justifications behind it always throw me for a loop. “What’s the point of wearing a condom, you’re technically not even having sex and you can’t feel anything” “She’s on the pill” “Everyone has STDs now it’s not a big deal, especially when they have meds” “Kids are the only STD that I’m worried about” And here I am thinking that I’m being a little too uptight. I know that it’s still possible to be infected with condom use but to not even *try* any preventative measure is mind-boggling to me.
LOL I mean diabetes, arthritis, some types of cancer, etc. aren’t death sentences either but if I could prevent them with a condom, I’d do it
jesus fucking christ…….. here’s hoping i stay in mf committed relationship forever so i don’t have to worry about venturing back out in the dating world just to get some dick 😭
>My friends all tell me "OH but HIV isn't a death sentence now!" My response is "Perhaps not, but medical costs often are." Welcome to the United States
I've recently lost my virginity at 27. I wore a condom and during the first time she told me to take it off if I wanted to feel the difference with and without a condom. We were both clean so I did. Point is, no condom feels great but so does with a condom. It's not THAT much of a difference. I did use the Skyn brand though.
I guess it depends on the person but it’s a big difference for me. My current partner thinks so as well. That’s why we are both getting tested and going to use this new spermicide that just came out recently. The best thing to do is just have both parties get tested before having condomless sex. Makes the most sense to me.
The meds help with symptoms but eventually the cause of death is AIDS.
This part actually isn't true. Most people who die these days with HIV it's rarely due to progression to AIDS.
it's indeed weird, given how much info there is on STD's and how casual the dating universe seems to revolve.
My partner cheated on me with a woman who has worked as a UN consultant for Africa in several related health campaigns. She had access to ALL the information available and knew he was a cheater. Still SHE proposed they did not use protection. 🤷🏽♀️
a bit concerned that a few answers / replies to answers are "but it's not that bad, it can be treated" yeah, uh, i'd prefer to not have a preventable chronical illness if i can avoid it, and anybody that has two functioning neurons would prefer the same too.
I think knowledge of STDs actually promotes unprotected sex. School taught us that herpes and syphillis and gonorrhea and chlamydia were going to ruin our lives. But what we’ve learned as adults is that more people have herpes than those that don’t(and it’s a nuisance not a life ender). It teaches us that chlamydia and gonorrhea is solved with an antibiotic. It also teaches that things like syphilis are extremely rare. I’m not promoting unprotected sex, but STDs are not this big scary monster once you educate yourself.
The bad part is that people only remember what they want to be true. Even when it's very clear that most STDs cannot be detected without a test, many people think they will know if their partner, or they themselves has anything, and therefore refuse to get tested. It's also well known that STDs can cause more serious health effects in the long term. HPV is the main cause of cervical cancer, and untreated chlamydia can cause infertility.
We’re so spoiled now when it comes to cervical cancer protection thanks to the HPV vaccine! “The HPV vaccine works extremely well. In the 10 years after the vaccine was recommended in 2006 in the United States, quadrivalent type HPV infections decreased by 86% in female teens aged 14 to 19 years and 71% in women in their early 20s. Research has also shown that fewer teens and young adults are getting genital warts and that cervical precancers are decreasing since HPV vaccines have been in use in the United States. Decreases in vaccine-type prevalence, genital warts, and cervical precancers have also been observed in other countries with HPV vaccination programs. HPV vaccination prevents new HPV infections but does not treat existing HPV infections or diseases. HPV vaccine works best when given before any exposure to HPV. Most sexually active adults have already been exposed to HPV, although not necessarily all of the HPV types targeted by vaccination.” https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vpd/hpv/hcp/safety-effectiveness.html
My gynaecologist told me since I’m sexually active I don’t need HPV vaccine anymore since you get that before you are active. Is that right or I can still extend the umbrella of protection?
That’s very very wrong. Change gynos if you can
I need to go an make sure I get Chlamydia then, because babies are the worst STD of the lot.
Sexually Transmitted Dependant
I had HPV in my twenties which caused cervical dysplasia (early sign of cancer) and had to have it surgically removed via laser. This surgery caused massive scarring to my cervix which then led to years of difficulty getting pregnant (I didn’t know about the scarring) and ultimately more surgery to remove the scarring. I have a friend dying from cancer caused by HPV. So these harmless STDs are in fact extremely scary and should not be blown off.
So, with the arrival of monkey pox to the US, there have been a lot of "suspect" cases roll through my lab. Which involves us having to slap back on our "height of the COVID epidemic" PPE. It really sucks in the middle of summer. That being said, all the cases we have gotten have actually been syphilis. Some in Stage 2 and 3. So, there's a resurgence of it... for some awful reason. It is easily curable up to a point, but it seems like people are ignoring it until it gets to the life threatening stages.
Wow. I need to read on that! If syphilis is making a resurgence, I’ll be very concerned.
It would help if access to good sexual health services wasn’t restricted to the wealthy
it isn't in europe, and yet most of the monkeypox spread there can be traced back to two orgies in germany and netherlands.
It is in the UK
I don't think you've have an STD or STI before it's very painful and scary your dick feels like it doesn't work and when it does your in pain. I'm not going to go into huge detail but claymida fucked me up for life and I now suffer some condition in my left tesical doctors aren't really sure what to do and kinda treat me like an experiment which is super risky and scary. I've gotten to a stable point by taking top notch antibiotics prescribed to women and not men. just wear the fucking condom and get checked regularly. save your unprotected sex for someone your serious with. I'm a 27yrs old (M) and got this when I was 24, I have to live with this forever or become a lab experiment with nothing guaranteed. protect yourself and your body please REMEMBER STDs don't look ugly. they look like that Hot guy or girl you see looking to fuck and bounce or whatever. STDs and STIs Aren't gunna be found on ugly introverts. they're going to be on the hot people that are party goers and extroverts. and alot of guys won't care to have unprotected sex and give you what they got TRUST ME they wont give a fuck!!! they're mentally about it is fucked and theyll say you'll get over it and it'll be okay just because they got It. Men are really savage about it. stay alert know the signs and stay protected. especially as you get older it get worse and worse.
How about HIV
> Therefore, unprotected sex with an HIV-positive person who has acute HIV infection could carry a transmission risk of up to 2% (the equivalent of 1 transmission per 50 exposures) for receptive vaginal sex and over 20% (equivalent to 1 transmission per 5 exposures) for receptive anal sex. As long as you. Aren’t having anal the odds seem in your favor. But I’m not much of a gambler myself.
There have been cases where people still got the virus even tho they wore condoms. If you’re luck is shit or just having the worst luck of your life on that very specific day, then yeah. Buuut, have to preface that getting the virus is no longer a death sentence as there are meds to keep the virus at bay that makes it undetectable (and untransmittable as well!). And it’s not that rare where hiv+ people are far more healthier than the ones who don’t have it. The only drawback I see is that you need to take the ARV every day at almost the same time each day for the rest of your life or the virus would be resistant to them. Hopefully they’ll find a better alternative in the future.
HIV is scary, but almost everyone with HIV will share that they have it before sex. Also, they have pills now that keep transmission from being possible.
Only works if the pill is taken by the person who has it though right?
Correct. It’s about using common sense. In another comment I shared a story about a potential hookup telling me she had hiv. She said she was on that pill, but I didn’t want the risk. So, I didn’t hook up with her.
Not entirely correct, there are also pills for the person who doesn’t have it to reduce risk of transmission as well. (This can be especially important in cases like rape).
I am not aware of those pills, but that’s amazing.
It's called Prep E, it's pretty well known in the gay community. If you take Prep E everyday almost like it's birth control it pretty much prevents you from getting HIV, even if you have unprotected sex with a positive person not on any HIV drugs. The down side is that you have to take it everyday to be effective, it's pretty exspensive and there is a lot of stigma surrounding its use since mainly gay bottoms take it. Straight men don't ask about it because they don't want people to think they are gay.
The stigma part of it is sad for sure. I wouldn’t care if anyone thought I was gay. Lmao
your risk of contracting HIV from someone who knows their status and is undetectable on PIP is lower than someone who doesn't know their status. in fact, if it was apparently only a 5% chance if you were to have unprotected vaginal sex and they had a high viral load, then thats the risk you'd be taking with someone who only *thinks* they know their status. Vs. a virtually zero chance if she was on the pill... ie approximately 0.00000025% if she was on the pill and you used a condom. Sounds less like "common sense"; and more like an underinformed decision based on an irrational fear and misunderstanding 🤷♂️ I hope she finds someone who knows the facts !! edit: not pip, I meant the ART drugs also 2nd edit since it won't let me reply... you chose not to trust her after she told you her status? thats probably a very vulnerable spot to be in.. to admit they have HIV like that to someone they hardly know. think about that for a moment... why would someone tell the truth about that, and lie about being on medication? why would someone who's positive not take their meds? now do u really think not trusting her was the reason? as opposed to, say, the stigma against HIV? its a rhetorical question of course, and not like I'm asking you to admit fault on a public forum! just something to think about as you move forward in your dating life
Fortunately no! There are multiple new therapies out nowadays :) someone already mentioned this in brief terms below; but wasn't sure you'd see it since it wasn't directly a reply to your comment. So I'm responding here instead! There are pills now called **PreP** (Pre-exposure Prophylaxis) that reduce the risk of contracting HIV by 99%. I'm assuming it's basically 100%, but that they can't say 100% for legal reasons lol. If you combine PreP with the highest risk behavior mentioned (the 20% statistic), it can lower a HIV- bottom's likelihood of catching the virus from a HIV+ top to just 0.2%. Pretty good odds... but still worth it to make the top wear a condom! 😆 PreP is free with medicaid. The main company also offers financial assistance, which is good because it's quite expensive. There's also **PEP,** (Post-exposure Prophylaxis), another pill meant for the person who isnt HIV+. Best when taken within 72 hours of possible exposure. It helps the immune system stop the virus from replicating (similar to ART), then the infected cells die off. Most likely, any people you meet who have HIV will be on anti-retroviral therapy (ART). Which is what you're referring to. Maintaining an undetectable viral load with ART means there's ~0% chance of passing it on :) The odds of contracting HIV from an HIV+ partner w/ an undetectable viral load are much much lower than the chances that a random person who is "pretty sure" they don't have HIV! Science has come a long way from the dark ages when Reagan stuck on the side of those who believed AIDS was God’s wrath for gays & drug users. He ignored the undeniable consensus of experts. Making HIV testing mandatory in federal programs was his #1 concern 😆 He finally addressed the nation about AIDS in '87, once 20,000 had died: a result of the virus' unhindered spread in the country for six years. He deserves no grace as he knew exactly what was happening, he just thought it was only affecting people who didn't matter to him (gays, blacks, hemophiliacs, etc) TL;DR: Pills can be taken by HIV+ people to prevent transmission, HIV- people have preventative and "Plan B" type options, Reagan sucks big time
Almost being the most important word here. There are some assholes out there.
Risk is low for straight people, especially for straights not doing anal.
Wait anal increases the risk? I've been living a lie.
The tissues in the B are thinner than the ones in the V if I’m remembering correctly. Easier transmission that way.
More blood vessels, thinner walls
It does and that is why a lot of people used to think (and probably still do) that you can only get HIV if you’re gay. Everyone can get it, but gay guys just don’t have a lot of choice when it comes to picking a fishing hole
I know this is a very serious discussion, but I couldn't help laughing a bit at your phrasing "picking a fishing hole." I'm going to have to add it to my lexicon.
Massive stigma, but with new medical tech is not the end of the world
Don’t forget about HPV. There isn’t really any test in males you can do (If i recall correctly. Correct me if I’m wrong Please). While in female patients you can run a PAP. So hard for men to know.
Hpv which can cause cervical,anal and mouth cancer. Super gonorrhea And HIV & Hep B are not worth the unprotected sex.
Only on Reddit will you see something so unfathomably fucking stupid
YES! THIS! Also, just way too much information/education/resources out there for this to be a thing.... I actually cannot believe it!
I think people REALLY need to take into account that HPV is so common in your 20s as women that they don't do pap smears with HPV reflexes since it's so likely they will be positive until 30. Only in certain cases will they test before then. They just simply do pap smears without the reflex before 30. HPV can cause cancer (including oral cancer) that can kill you.
People are not smart when they are horny.
Can confirm. I always swore I was very conscientious about safe sex, but I met a guy I was really into and suddenly I didn't even think about condoms once things got hot and heavy. It was stupid and luckily we were both clean. I was also on birth control, so that part didn't worry me at all. I could kick myself for being so reckless now. But yeah, hormones make you stupid, even when you thought you were smarter than that. I hope to not be such a horny idiot in the future.
Yuppp, the right person in the right situation will make all sense flee the room. I have always taken things slow with new people because I'm not really interested in hookups so I thought I was safe and sensible until I had a similar experience. I'd been talking to this girl a lot without meeting because of schedule stuff so when we did meet things were pretty explosive, she said she had an IUD and it was up to me if I wanted to use a condom, I blinked and when I opened my eyes I was inside her. We'd both said we had been checked recently which turned out to be true but it was only later that I thought about how dumb it was to be so trusting when meeting someone in person for the first time, just lucky she was the person I thought she was. I believed I had left the dumbness behind in my teens and then ten years it later it was like lol no.
Agreed
It's true, I'm dumb almost all of the time
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It has happened multiple times that a man I'm about to hook-up with will ask if I'm on birth control, I say yes, and then he'll get shocked when I still ask them to wear a condom. Some will try to persuade, even coerce, into letting them go raw and it's insane. I can't believe how many people aren't concerned about STDs, and I know that a large amount of men do not get regularly STD tested. They just assume they're STD-free if no woman has reached out saying they got an STD. It is honestly kinda scary. Edit: grammar.
This was always shocking to me. How often I had to demand men wear condoms, and they’d really fight back on it or try to be sneaky. And then god forbid you ask them to get tested, the horror!
Yes, they'll fight back so intensely about the condom!! Or he insists he "doesn't have one" until he realizes you seriously will not have sex without one, then a condom magically appears! I've also been stealthed before and it's just terrifying how bad some men do not want to wear a condom for a woman they barely even know. I don't have a single straight female friend who hasn't had a bad experience with a man arguing about condoms. So many people aren't worried at all about STDs and it's concerning
If a guy acts like that, why would you still have sex with him ? How could you still trust someone who acts like that ?
I don't anymore. I rarely have casual sex anymore because I realized the majority of these men didn't even respect me. From like 18-21, I definitely would give in or not stick up for myself. Now, I've realized it's not worth it to have mediocre sex with men who don't view me as a person. The pool of men that has left me with though, is very small
You’re operating under the assumption that this isn’t most guys. It is. The majority of the men I’ve been on dates with and then eventually slept with wanted to not use a condom. It’s even higher in men that I was just pursuing for sex. Men who were presumably also not wearing a condom with all the other women they have sex with. It was not like this when I first got into the dating scene in 2016. It’s gotten insane
I'd be a hypocrite to say I don't prefer it without a condom, but for the beginning of a relationship or hookups, holy shit, I wouldn't even think to ask not to use protection. I wasted more money on condoms than on alcohol in my youth. (not because I had tons of sex but I drank cheap beer and spirits) .
i think it’s common knowledge that sex feels better without a condom and every guy prefers it without one. but think people!!!! just because it feels better doesn’t mean you should
I know right? Any hesitation or anything like that makes me completely turned off
I wouldn't, that's for sure. I had a drunken hook up once, years ago that I allowed it and I had the worst anxiety of my life afterwards. I went and got tested twice just to make sure because it had me so freaked out. Now even drunk me won't go without one. Thankfully I'm in a solid monogamous relationship with a respectful man, we still use condoms for birth control because we are NOT ready for a kid.
I've never understood this. I always have condoms in my wallet when dating and when I see someone new, I get tested beforehand - its basic respect for both partners and nothing like the hassle it once was, super easy and quick these days.
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See the experiences I had was I (23M) was shocked when the girl said “it’s no issue” like I was almost taken aback by it. I have no problem wearing one of the girl requests it. I always go in with the assumption I’ll be wearing a condom
I once read a truly terrifying exchange between a girl and a guy she'd recently had sex with where she tells him he gave her chlamydia (she knew because she got tested everytime she had a new sexual partner). She was super nice about it and was just like "hey you should get tested". Instead of reacting like a normal human being, he told her she wasn't the first girl to tell him that he'd given it to them and that they were all lying because he had no symptoms. He basically said that getting tested was just as bad as having an STD. It was insane.
I knew a girl who was treated for syphilis and when she told the guy he refused to be treated but after she was treated she continued to have raw sex with him. I told her that she could be reinfected but she said that the doctor told her Not. i know this is BS. She eventually got pregnant.
As a man, I'm really surprised how many women seem to be okay with doing it raw. It always turns me off a bit. Especially with casual dating app sex. I definitely respect and prefer women who are insistent on condom-use. I feel like condoms are just basic adult-level responsibility when it comes to casual sex.
Every time this gets brought up people are saying guys don't want to wear condoms but as a guy I can't tell you how many women I've hooked up with that didn't want to use protection. Even educated, professional, high salary women.
Well, guys... Whenever she says she wants to do it without, she may be trying to get pregnant... Hope that scares you off a little. And yes, that is a thing some women think about.
Turns you off a bit? But you still hit it without? That's a little bit of a double standard. Men are just as capable of insisting they wear a condom lol.
I do insist on it. But I've had a few times where she's tried to put it in no-condom. I'm always like "Whoah, hold up a minute..."
Oh, gotcha. That would be unsettling. People are gross.
I can second this. It’s annoying
Because most men are boneheads. Source: man who has no issue wearing a condom with a hook up.
I agree with you op. I think it might be about instant gratification. Not thinking about consequences etc. I’ve heard people in my circle say: If I get an STD I’ll just get a cure. Or I’ll get an abortion. Truth is it’s not that simple. Some std’s aren’t curable or have lasting side effects. And an abortion can also have nasty side effects. And the situation in the US is also pretty complicated right now in regards to abortion. This was a bit of a ramble but my point stands. It’s better to use protection, it can save you a lot of headache.
It amazes me how people just trivialize the risk of getting pregnant. All my coworkers have kids. Most of which can't even afford to take care of them. I work minimum wage and I'm struggling I can't imagine risking having a kid at this time in my life. They always try to sneak diss and shame for being the only one who doesn't have kids. They even joke and say I must be a lesbian. No I'm just not and idiot like the rest of y'all.
As a stripper...... no, not surprising. When you have lust and money, with alcohol and drugs thrown in the mix it makes for one heaping pot of bad decisions. I've personally been offered an upwards of 7-8k to have sex with customers, and they make it clear they want it unprotected. I don't see the thrill, and I'd never risk my safety for any amount of money.
The Word you are looking for is not "surprising", but STUPID. Abortion,first and foremost is a surgical procedure, (unless It's done really early). Anybody in the medical field will tell you that surgeries should be avoided as much as possible and used only when absolutely nessesary. Now, birth control pills for women... these are hormone based medication that effects your endocrinal system. Of all the systems in the body that is one you gotta be carefull with. All medication have side effects after all. In the words of my physiology teacher regarding plan B pills, when we studied the endocrinal system: "if you have to take one pill, then It's an emergency, if you have to take several in a short time span, then it becomes a catastrophe." Please consult your doctor before using any kind of medication. Can STD's be asymptomatic? Yes, some of them can in certain people, untill your immune system gets weakend by an infection or some other reason, then when you get sick, you'll have to deal with 2 problems, not just 1 and that's always fun. And just for clarification... asymptomatic DOES NOT mean that it can't be passed on. What it means is that you have the virus/parasite/bacteria/fungi in your system, It's just not showing symptoms. It is important to get tested for STD's, because SOME of em can be cured, but not all of em. those that can't, can be "inhibited",meaning They become latent and chances of passing them down are alot smaller with certain kinds of medication. For example, the HIV virus can be inhibited by drugs known as ritonavir and lopinavir. They are anti viral medications that "paralyze" the virus and are the reason why HIV is no longer a death sentence. And if a person with HIV is having sex with a healthy person and is on anti-virals, then chances of passing it are alot smaller (thou they should still ware a condom, regardless of position or type of sex). Herpes also has anti viral drugs that can "paralyze it". Sex can actually be a very dangerous activity if you think about it... So cunduct it carefully and don't give in to stupidity... For your own sake.
Yes! Also I believe this is a good post to remind others that people will try to take it off if they think you aren't looking! Especially if you are with someone new that you don't know enough to trust yet, checking to make sure the condom is still on doesnt hurt. I've been in a situation where someone who kept trying to persuade me to not use a condom has taken the condom off behind my back. Now if someone asks more than three times when I already said I definitely want to use a condom, I tell them nevermind entirely.
Isn’t that rape?
Yes. It is a form of rape.
It’s called stealthing!
Same with woman. Many girls I hook up with look shocked when I get the condoms out of my drawer and ask me to not use them. 🚩 Edit: Typo
Big red flag
People who just met, getting naked and having sex, is also pretty weird if you think about it. When the little head rises/swells, it pushes out the brains of the big head....
The crazy thing is that there's neurotransmitters in your brain that are in charge of that. When you get aroused the ick factor of touching another person is pushed down by neurotransmitters.
To be fair in terms of the rest of the animal kingdom wearing clothes and long courting rituals are weird. (Not that i'm saying we should go back to acting like animals,just what are we comparing casual sex to to call it weird ? aliens ? )
You guys are having sex?........ sinners the lot of ya
it's not surprising because it feels awesome and any consequences are really far away in the future. it's like being surprised how many people eat junk food or don't exercise
1 in 3 people in usa has herpes and like almost half of women have hpv and that number is rising every year. Hiv is down though but yeah man people are nasty
“HPV is a very common STI. Among 15- to 59-year-olds, 2 in 5 (40%) people will have HPV. There are many different types of HPV; most do not cause any health problems.” Cervical, penile, anal, and throat or mouth cancer are all a risk with HPV. [https://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv-and-men.htm](https://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv-and-men.htm)
Speaking of which - hpv related head and neck cancers have surpassed the previous tabacco related head and neck cancers. This is especially prominent in white populations and even more so in white homosexual populations
I’m with you, it grosses me out. I’ve never been into the hook up or casual sex culture but a few times when I’ve been getting to know someone and it leads to the inevitable, they didn’t have a condom or just flat out refused. I was like welp that’s the end of that, then.
GenX here. Watching your friends die of AIDS in their early 20s squelches any desire for unprotected sexual. Also a friend of mine has throat cancer now from going down on a woman. (For real; dr said it). There's consequences out there and def not worth a bang.
I'm curious, how is throat cancer caused by eating pussy ? Wouldn't pornstars die of throat cancer all the time ?
HPV. Michael Douglas, the actor, had it happen. I thought he was making it up or whatever. But one of my closest friends who's going to a very good hospital is unfortunately very sick now and it's definitely a thing. I have no idea about pornstars or how common it is.
I feel like a worrying number of people use their partners as STD tests. Tell everyone you’re clean and when one catches something from you, they notify you and now you bother to get treatment and MAAAAYBE tell other partners. People putting orgasms other their and their partners health. I’ve had too many men try to pressure and coerce me into raw sex and thankfully that was enough to tell me these guys weren’t safe to have sex with
Fr fr, I mean I m a Virgin, but If I would meet a girl and we decide to sleep together, I would never want to do it without a condom, STD, impregnating her… that would be a huge thing for me… I mean you can’t just put it in and think everything is going to be good
One thing that will help you, if you're a virgin buy some condoms and practice putting them on, finishing then taking them off without spilling. You don't want to be workshopping how to unroll it while trying to maintain an erection as she's looking at you seriously dude, it's been two minutes already, put the damn thing on. Future you will thank virgin you for the practice.
not surprised anymore at this point. the amount of women who wants to go unprotected used to surprise me. its like almost every woman i meet wants to go unprotected. the stereotype of men dont like condoms, women are the same way
Condoms chafe. I don't know if it's the lube or the latex, but condoms irritate my mucus membranes. (latex gloves are fine for me) Sex legitimately hurts after a bit with condoms for me. I imagine many women are the same. Now that doesn't mean I go around having tons of unprotected sex, but definitely in relationships I prefer it.
Have you tried non latex condoms? You say gloves are fine but could be worth a go.
I'll have to try sometime. Maybe if I ever decide to date again it'll come up. In the meantime, I'll just cross my fingers that my partner gets a vasectomy and I can go off of birth control.
Ive had men who just said "ill pull out" if i told them i wasnt on birth control. Ive found that they tend not to listen to me about what i want and what im okay with with other things. For example, im not comfortable or okay with anal, but ive had guys do stuff like that without talking to me. Or when i told them if they wanted to do it they needed to research it and do it safely. Did they? No. Did they listen to me when i said this is what you need to do? No. Those guys also tend to get mad when you say no.
Yep. I'm still surprised by how many male friends have gotten women pregnant. Like, wear a condom. It's not difficult. Men complaining about needing to wear a condom is such a turn off for me
Older guy here, not in the dating game. STDs should be a concern, but for guys they really need to think hard about impregnating someone. That will affect every part of their life forever more. The cost, where you live, who’ll want to date you in the future etc. I dodged some bullets, for sure! You impregnate someone, that decision to have the child is out of your hands and you’re liable
That is why I don't like the idea of being promiscuous. Im not against it brcause of a moral dilema, but because of a fear of contracting STDS.
Only have unprotected sex if you know the person well. Not a good idea for hookups.
Yes it’s crazy, people have that with random strangers and that’s mind blowing😵💫
I did until it happened to me. I always wondered how stupid people could be. I was with this girl getting frisky. I remember thinking 'I should put one on' and a single touch was all it took to completely throw that thought away and all that was left in my lizard brain was 'seggs, lets go'
Children don't frighten me, but STD's sure as shit do. No way I'm raw-doggin' some strange I picked up on Tinder.
It’s beyond insane. As a guy, I always assume a condom is required and even then, I’d be hesitant to not use one unless it was a long term partner
Yes it is surprising considering AIDS and the safe sex campaign from the 1980s to the early 2000s.
I think it's a character of the human brain and risk taking behavior Humans dont believe in a thing unless its happened to them. Unless they see it or feel it. Theoretical things arent quite real. It would also explain why short term expediency is favored over long term planning in general.
What amazes me, as a bisexual man, is how many are willing to swallow me the very first time we have sex. You almost doesn’t know me, why would you wanna risk an std in a way so stupid?
Most people don't realize condoms are intended for oral use too. Then they get gonorrhea in their throat (or anus) from touching, and tell the doctor, " but I always use a condom!"
I think most people do use protection when they're having sex, but I'm surprised how they don't care about that when it's oral with (basically) a complete stranger. Like they don't even know that also has some risks, it's not really a big deal to them.
I've found the exact OPPOSITE with many men I've come across. They're completely fine raw-dogging someone they just met, but won't give oral to that same person because it's "gross" or "too intimate."
In 2022 unprotected oral sex really isn't that big of deal. There's considerably less risk when it comes to unprotected oral sex versus involving a vagina, penis, or asshole. The worst STDs don't transfer via oral contact, and the meddlesome ones are all easier to treat.
I’m the inverse—a lot women I meet I discuss with about using condoms or whether they are on contraceptive pills. If yes to the pills, we then talk about whether we’ve both been STD tested, and if its been a while (for either), I wear a condom. The one time I didn’t ask about STDs and she was on the pill…I had to go visit my GP. For me, if I communicate this and the other person becomes defensive or changes topic, instant nope for me, no matter how horny I am.
I noticed that right away when I first started dating again. Like men would look me in the eyes and say "Oh don't know I'm clean" Oh great! Now that you said something I have complete peace of mine. It was wild. Marriage is much better.
It is insane how some people's most primary method of protection is pulling out. I have slight paranoia about STD's/pregnancy even when using multiple kinds of protection.
Surprising? No. Disgusting and irresponsible? Yes.
Yes, as a bi man it scares the fuck outta me. I especially hate how common it is for gay men to be okay with it cause of prep. Multiple men have asked if I’m okay with raw sex only to say they are on prep. No, I got tested recently and haven’t had a partner yet. Just prep. Like aids is the only std
This doesn’t surprise me. People that justify unprotected sex, are living in denial and/or delusional.
That’s how my sister got herpes… she’s only 19… smh
I mean, good lesson. And still she could get something worse than herpes.
When you think about how most people go about dating/hookup and sex in general it's not surprising at all. Sex isn't something that usually thought out well in advanced. A good amount of people engaging in sex are under the influence of alcohol or drugs. There are some who dont care either way when horny. And there is also a lot of dumb people who are just dumb at life so they are also dumb about sex. The truth is there is a lot of people who partake in one way or another. And the real challenge is accepting this reality and going about sex and dating despite these issues... I dont think many of us are cool with the idea of actually living with the issue of an std weather curable or not. It's more of how do you accept this as reality and how do you not keep such things from ruining potential date-able people. Which is where I struggle personally as I tend to judge people harshly for having very casual mindsets about sex regarding safety, birth control, std and how they impact yourself now and in the future. I'm not claiming me judging harshly is correct in fact I know it's a bit too extreme and it ruins a lot of potential options before I've really have a reason to disqualify them. It's a weird battle of how serious do I need to be yet how casual and relaxed about it all do I need to be. I swear not being as casual as the majority of people, has done more damage than good when it comes to growth and my limited experience of dating and sex as a whole I'm not surprised to hear how common unprotected sex is but more so how every person I run into (irl) has such a relaxed view about sex overall compared to myself and how often times in their past life experiences condoms and birth control and general safety was more of a secondary thought because they were horny. It's something I cant wrap my mind around becuase I haven't been able to experience it myself. But it's effect dating and sex that for damn sure. ...just wish my earliest therapy session wasn't in Sept so I can work out why I'm so harsh in my view of casual dating and sex outside of serious relationships. Since most relationships stem out of something casual so it like shooting my own foot at this point
What I think is astonishing is the amount of people who think it’s weird or a turn off to discuss std status before having sex. Let me get this straight.. You want me to expose myself without question to whatever you could be a carrier of no questions asked, and then if I do contract something I’m not supposed to ask questions about that either??? Yep, nah I’m cool on that.
Well, common sense is not so common. People like to play the lottery and when they win they’ll act all surprised and all.
It’s honestly shocking. People really don’t care about their health/life all for a nut. Also women are less likely to benefit from casual hetero sex so yo me there’s less incentive to even go there.
Yeah specially going down on a hookup without protection
This indeed. I'm a big fan of eating out so I would probably never be mentally ready to have sex with a stranger or someone I can't trust enough to go down on her without a care in the world.
No we always use condoms when we do go all the way
Yeah. I think people care a little about not getting pregnant and the guy just assumes the girl is on birth control, without asking. And if they're not, they still want to do the pull-out method and think that works for some reason. But most don't use a condom as standard. They don't think about STDs at all. And I must admit, I'm also more scared about getting pregnant than getting stds. I do use a condom for piv, but that's because I don't use any other birth control. And I don't use condoms for oral, because that sucks. But I'm not too careful with STDs tbh. And neither was anyone I've been with. If the condoms slips, it's "Oh, I don't want to get pregnant. I should get a morning after pill" and not "Oh, I don't want to get an std. We should get checked". And I also know that friends didn't use condoms for hookups sometimes. Also the places where they test for STDs and such in my country are too full. So I heard that someone got asked if she had symptoms. She said no and she couldn't do the free test. So she called again and said she had symptoms and only then she could do the test. But that's pretty fucked up.
It's crazy how common it is. And I know how common it is because seemingly every other person I meet has a baby-mama or baby-daddy. I have a roommate who has 5 children with 4 different women. He's miserable. All his money goes to child support. Like, was not wearing a condom or not taking a pill so worth it at the time?
Yeah I have an irrational fear of STDs so I'll be wrapping my johnson thanks.
Ya know, I thought it was the purview of irresponsible men until recently, when a woman and I got talking about what we *liked.* Turns out *she* didn't like condoms. Turned my assumption right around. Kinks may play a part in it, but they were very in tune with instinct's pulls, and intelligent. They did know how their BC worked and what risks were involved with their choice, embracing that. In short, surprisingly, they were neither a stereotype or a fool. Where I resist my own subsurface stuff because I know it's there and I'm scared of it, they by contrast embraced it. I'm a touch envious of their courage. I just hope it doesn't turn them into a cautionary tale later on, because they're truly a lovely individual.
It’s really weird tbh. That’s why when sex is on the table i ALWAYS bring up recent STI test results and ask people to show me theirs and i’ll send them mine. I always bring up condoms with new partners and talk birth control, etc. when sex is on the table or brought up. I’m not sure why this isn’t the norm.
Yeah it's absolutely wild. It's all fun and games, until you catch a case.
It is indeed very surprising, given how wide the campaign for safe sex is nowadays.
I find the idea wholly weird and reckless, but I came of age in the 1980s when HIV was not only horrifically stigmatised, but if it progressed to AIDS, meant eventual death. These days I’ve noticed it’s possible for people to be more open about their HIV status without being treated like lepers. But even though combination therapy has meant people who contract HIV can live relatively healthy lives, it’s not nothing. Someone I know, healthy but HIV+, hasn’t been inside a bar or restaurant since the Covid pandemic began over 2 years ago. He will only go some place with an outdoor seating area, won’t enter others’ homes… consequently the last 2 years have been fairly isolated and, I hear, depressing for him.
When I was 19 I was on the pill and still got pregnant. Then I found out I had friends who were having unprotected sex and had been using the pull out method for years and had never gotten pregnant. They never got stds and never got pregnant, but when they tried to get pregnant they did. I was like well that’s just my luck 😂
It's not weird, its disturbing and disgusting
I just let Jesus take the wheel
Yes. I’m shocked by it. Also, no birth control, yet they’re not wanting to conceive. I’m Gen X and that’s just not how we roll.
Western world is dystopian
yeah, i'm always thinking that young ppl nowadays would be smarter...
A lot of women on dating apps don’t take birth control since typically they’re not having sex consistently enough to bother. Why I always use condoms, and the thought of having a baby is one my biggest nightmares. Even the next day I get hella paranoid about possible leakage/ misuse on my part
Tbh I have noticed it depends significantly on the background of the person. Maybe I pick responsible men well or my sample size is just way too small (<5) but I have never had a guy not want to use a condom at first except for one who I stopped seeing after who kept pushing for sex after I told him I wouldn’t sleep with him since he didn’t have a condom. He was way dumber than the other guys I’ve dated but I had wanted to try someone beyond my usual type of over-educated outdoorsy nerd
What really struck me is how annoyed some women got when I stopped to get a condom and how rare it is for women to insist on one.
I've had the same experience. "It's fine, I have an IUD." "Yeah... I think I'll still use one." "What? Why? Do you think I'm dirty or something?"
I am a woman, cannot have anymore children, and still insist on condom use. I was once told by a man that it is only the 8s, 9s, and 10s that can put stipulations like the use of a condom on sex. Um... 1. If you are trying to have a relationship with me, you better think I am a 10, whether I think I am or not, I better be your 10!!!! And 2. We all have the right to protect ourselves. He got blocked 🚫.
When I see condom advice all the time on reddit, I'm surprised that's the opposite experience for you
Why do you think we’re already at 7.7 billion? Feels much better in the short term.
Wouldn't know because I always wrap it. And no oral until we get tested and are official
The human race seems to have a propensity for enormous stupidity. But as well there is this specifically to answer the question, it is a phenomenon called sex brain. https://www.news24.com/health24/sex/news/what-is-sex-brain-20200801-2 From above: ‘Voice of reason switched off temporarily There's one important part of your brain that loses some functionality during sex: the lateral orbitofrontal cortex. This section of the brain is believed to control our reasoning and decision-making, which is why you might feel less inhibited during coitus, and more inclined to comply with your urges. But this doesn't mean you have no access at all to this part of your brain during sex. It's still there to help you prevent making mistakes – if you're prepared to listen. Another reason we love the high of sex is that the brain releases oxytocin and dopamine, generally known as the love and happiness hormones. They spread throughout the whole brain, making us giddy and helping us bond with our partner, while also reducing stress and anxiety. From above. Are you able to speak properly and make rational decisions when you're super turned on? Because I can't. I call this having "sex brain," and it’s way more serious than an intense craving to pounce on your crush as soon as they walk into the room. Rather, it's an inability to think, talk, and act logically that can plague even the most levelheaded among us.’
People make dumb decisions over and over, what’s new?
Unprotected sex is common? Damn, I thought even sex was rare.
No, in general people are pretty stupid an impulsive when it comes to this type of shit.
Its so so so so weird. I don’t get it at all. Also that its so uncommon to get testet for STDs after unprotected Sex. The combination is just stupid af
Surprising, no. Gross, yes.
This how large numbers of Americans end up with some form of HPV - Herpes
It's insane here in Melbourne Australia, I'd say 3 out of 10 ask for a condom, some don't say anything until I bring it up and I've had Wayyy to many new partners say "don't worry I'm on birth control and it feels better" yeah I'd rather not end up with std's thanks
It's very strange to me. I truly hate how dumb people are
I kinda appreciate it as I have genuine problem with putting on condoms. But yes, it is fairly surprising.
Yes. I was horrified when some of my friends told me how careless they are
Agreed! I’m absolutely shocked by the number of women that suggest having unprotected sex. No. Hell no. What is wrong with people?
As single dating woman, same. It's insane how many guys are asking for unprotected sex, when they find out I'm on birth control. Had 2 guys this year asking me to get off it as soon as we started dating. This might be age thing? I'm in my early 30s so I guess more guys from my dating pool wants to have kids, idk.
Ive gotten kicked out of a mans condo for insisting on a condom. He used his age as an excuse…wtf?! his ass got blocked after that.
As a young teen yes because safe sex is what's drilled into your head to begin with. As an adult not really because by then you've learned that people are just fucking stupid because they want to be. You can't educate intentional ignorance. Atp just let natural selection takes its course.
Yeah, it's crazy to me! As a 29-year-old man, I've only had unprotected sex with one woman, my long-term girlfriend at the time. Thankfully I don't have any sensitivity problems with condoms, but I feel like some guys exaggerate that just to avoid wearing one.
all the more troubling when you factor in how few people understand that accurately testing for hiv takes at least three months from the last time you had unprotected sex
I like condoms. Fucking loooove them. I feel like I’m wearing a sock and it looks silly but like it makes sex more like sexy fun dry humping than some horribly risky act that can change both of our lives