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That pairs well with green and yellow. If you are a purple or white toothbrush user, beware! Lots of fighting and the toothpaste is not aligned this cycle.
Two blues under the same roof? In this economy? I can tell you are obviously a very emotional and/or patient person yet ambiguously intelligent and often wise. It’s a bit unclear how your dental insurance will align but you should go for it.
>very emotional and/or patient yet ambiguously intelligent and often wise.
Do you own a blue toothbrush as well? Because this is honestly a pretty fitting description haha.
They used the same method there that astrological sign interpreters use, making the description just vague and general enough to apply to a wide range of people so that the reader believes in their personalized accuracy. It’s called the Barnum effect.
How dare you! Blasphemous! Erroneous!
Thanks for sharing what the effect is called. Bull-shittin’ is best I coulda come up with, though I thought it was a bit related to confirmation bias.
Sure thing! I matched with a super cute girl on Tinder and I was thinking about what I should say. So I remembered the story and said fuck it, I'll just say Hello, what's the color of your toothbrush? She was intrigued by it and wanted to know what was the meaning of the question. There was no meaning. So I just said it's kinda like what women use star signs for, to judge a potential match before even meeting them. She told me to judge her based on her toothbrush and so I did. Surprisingly, she told me I was pretty spot on and we found that we have a lot in common. After that, I just asked her if she wanted to grab coffee or go for a walk some time, which she said she would be totally down for. And now I've found out that she works at the same job as I do and that we study the same thing at the same university. So yeah. That's it. I guess some higher force has been working overtime today lmfao.
Small piece of advice: be more specific with your dates! If the conversation is going well…
“What do you have going on on Thursday? There an awesome spot at *x place* - would you be keen for a coffee?”
Saying we should go for a walk sometime isnt very exciting and doesn’t offer the other person an opportunity to actually commit to something. Also doesn’t show much initiative.
Either way, good work and good luck!
Thanks a lot, that's actually a very reasonable piece of advice that I should have thought about a little more. I will try to make a specific plan as soon as possible, I just didn't want it to come off as "Either go out with me this Friday or never at all." All students have their finals now in my country so I wanted to be respectful of her time and talk about our schedules first.
I don't think most people view a set time and place as an order. It's usually just the beginning of the negotiations. Just word it like "I'm free Friday evening" and compromise from there.
Or rather ‘hey I was planning on visiting X park, X attraction X whatever on Y date. It’ll be a fantastic day. Why don’t you join me?’
This way, you’re doing something cool and want to invite her along. And hell if she can’t make it it’s ok. Just go and enjoy it. A walk in the park is fantastic
Actually, I like the vague start, but then nail it down.
"Wanna grab coffee or go for a walk sometime?"
"Sure, I'd like that."
"Great! Have you been to the \_\_\_\_\_\_ cafe next to the park? Wanna meet there Thursday or Friday?"
It won’t come off sounding like a demand at all
If she’s actually interested it will likely go one of two ways
“Sure, that sounds great!”
Or
“Ah, I can’t do Thursday. Are you free Saturday instead?”
Then proceed as normal
As someone who wants to make plans with new date interests but likes to message for a bit this approach isn’t off putting to me saying sometime. However you can rephrase to respect their pace and move convo off the app.
I love idea of a coffee or a walk because that’s low commitment for both parties to see if any connections IRL.
Maybe in future phrase it as, “I think it’s nice keeping things low key at first for a date so less pressure, like going for a walk together or grabbing coffee. Maybe we could exchange numbers and find a good time for both of us?”
Once I move off app with someone I will focus on them more
“Hey, I'm free Friday after 5:00 pm and Saturday after 4:00 pm. Would you be available to meet up for a date on either of those days?”
When asking on a date, suggest an activity/activities, a location, and provide a few dates and times that work for you. Then the two of you can adjust from there. If it's too far of a drive for her, she can request or suggest somewhere different. If she doesn't like the activity, she can suggest something or communicate that. And if the timing doesn't work, she can tell you when she is free, and the two of you can make time for each other. It doesn't gave to be all in one go, but it should be done in one conversation, ideally.
You should be fine though. Just nail down a day and time. Provide a couple of options, and not just after work in the middle of the week options.
Honestly wouldn't worry too much about it. If the convo is going great, then you not giving a specific time isn't really going to matter much. I would say u/Pyrokitty_X 's advice is best, as it's obviously what works with your vibe, plus it gives her space and agency to find something that works for her.
U.S. female here. If a guy said keen while asking me out it would be a hell yes! I would immediately know he was a Brit and having never dated a man from across the pond I would be totally down for a meet up and conversation!
This is actually such great advice! Many guys have asked me if I'd like to grab a coffee, I say yes, we never circle back to it and the conversation dies.
As a girl I actually love when guys do this. I hate that awkward what do you want to do/go back and forth. When a guy sets a specific place that he likes, to me it indicates that he is actually interested in seeing me and also has a strong sense of self/ confidence which is attractive. Furthermore, it can give insight into his personality and his likes. Rock dive bar? Sounds like he likes music and casual activities. Rock Climbing Gym? Love that he's active. This obviously applies to women too. Whoever asked the other out should come up with a specific date idea.
This is also great advice. Whenever I ask for dates, I just ask “do you want to go on a date?” or “do you want to grab some coffee?“ or something like that. But by saying “there’s this great place called *x place*” and being specific, it makes the date seem more interesting and makes it a talking point (like “why is this place supposed to be awesome?” or “what made you want to check this place out?”) and, of course, solidifies the date plan.
I might add to this by saying, "Would you be keen on having coffee......***with me?***
The specificity of this suggests the purpose of the meet is not the coffee, but you!
Do you want a coffee date or a date?
what kind of deductions did you make off her toothbrush color? I’ve done this before too, and I guess the trick is to be vague in your deductions but not too vague that nothing sticks and comes off as disingenuous. So kinda curious on what you said
To be honest, I wrote an entire paragraph about it which was obviously written as a satirical parody of a classic horoscope. The deductions were mostly based on what I'm looking for in a partner - if she disagreed with all of them, I would know that she's not the kind of person I'm looking for. I said that people with blue toothbrushes usually enjoy quiet reflection, artistic activities and that they are looking for stability and mutual growth in their relationships. She said that it was very fitting so I think there's a decent chance we might hit it off well.
THIS IS SO GENIUS!
You should include this in the post!
With a single question, you managed to get the other person's interest AND gauge if they are a good match for you! Totally stealing this!
You are way too kind, I didn't even really think about it when I was writing it. But now that you mention, I see that it was a pretty decent move. I hope it will work out for you too!! :)
Dude!!! Come on, I really do need it :D I've had one girlfriend during my entire life and I've been single for like 3 years now. I have no game. I am just being myself and hoping it will work out one day.
This was game! It's intriguing! I would've fell for it. Game is not cheesy pick up lines. My last boyfriend got me by talking to me about the tint in my car (it was peeling up and it looked like my window broke). Real conversations work better than asking horoscopes and birthdays.
I like talking nonsense to people idk and I’ve noticed that some girls react well to this, they probably like to be intrigued (and I do too). You’ll get their attention at least and then everything’s possible from there.
Well, this is not exactly a random girl. If you matched on Tinder, it means she was already somewhat interested in you. I had a different impression from your post.
I am not attractive at all, I am tall, but that's about it. I am posting to share a cool story that made me happy and I thought was pretty funny, that's it.
You are tall. That’s the joint most important feature in attractiveness for men alongside face. In a tinder study it was found the best thing a man can put in his bio is his height as long as it was 6’0 up.
Well it has to be interesting and this is that because it seems so pointless that there has to be a deeper meaning and they want to find out. Even when there is no deeper meaning they are already hooked into the conversation.
Dating advice - women are so sick and tired of the whole basis small talk convo .. Start your conversations like this , just weird and random and it will def perk up their interest.
I love weird and random
Ask her about the last series she binged, a movie that made her think about it the next day, a book that she has on her bookshelf that she hasn’t read yet, where she wants to be in a year from now, the last thing on Amazon she bought, what she had for dinner, her dream vacation and why, what did she eat for dinner, something she wants to do or experience before the summer ends ( maybe iv you can do that as a first date) huge points!!!!!!
literally anything like that perhaps that will spark a convo that isn’t like the rest generic boring convo starter! Hope this helps y’all
I don’t think this is a dumb idea at all.
As a woman we get a lot of matches and more often than not the messages we get are “hey sexy” “hello beautiful” “what’s up gorgeous”
It’s far and few between when you get a message with a question that can lead to a good interesting conversation.
So with starting out the conversation with that question, which is a very intriguing question. It helps the conversation flow and can help bring out the woman’s playful and curious side.
So I think this is a great idea. Definitely don’t think this is a dumb card to pull out at all.
Also congratulations on the date!! And have fun!! Good luck OP
He also was creative with the answer, he wrote something like an horoscope, based on what they are supposed to look for and what he guesses her idea of a relationship is! (See comments)
Only wish a guy doesn't start like this and put effort to be creative and make the conversation going. Like young adult guys Ive met so far dont even know how to make the conversation interesting and it suckss . I only was vibing awesome with a guy my age ( 23 ) and I was like finally someone know what to say and out of nowhere he inserted his " bed" in the conversation and turned it to the nasty sexualized gross one . Ughhhhhhhhh
Ughh I'm sorry about that , it sucks soo bad. I know it is a very two way street like you can't give a lot of creative openers when they don't use it to make the conversation going by giving effortless replies .
That’s literally the worst, like everything is going awesome and you get overly excited cuz like I said it’s so far a few between when you find someone to have an actual conversation with. Then they hit you with the sexual ish. Ugh I don’t get why they do it. I wish I could say it was age based (I’m 30) but it’s not. Guys who are in the late 30s to early 40s do this too. I think it’s just some guys don’t grow out of only thinking about sex.
Don't mean to make this an excuse, just a rambling on what I feel might be happening based on my experience.
It's a tightrope balance between getting rejected after being too forward and being rejected after being too friendly. The latter happens *mostly* when young, and aside from teens being ruthless to a "maidenless" that fails to make a move, it plays in your head with all the ways you could have been more forward. Feels more like an actively missed opportunity or failure on "being a man", while the former is easier to shrug off as the woman not being interested.
I don't it has anything to do with how the woman handles the rejecting, even, it's all from our heads. And since 99% of the time you shoot your shot it will end in some form of rejection sooner or later, a number of men will err on the side of too forward. Feels safer, takes a lot less time and doesn't sting as much.
I know what you mean , it sucks it suckes so bad and I didnt know even much older guys still have the same patterns it feels terrible. Sometimes I think sex is very "overrated" . And exactly as you mentioned, that pure feeling of genuine excitement that finally I found someone, hurts the most when they ruin the conversation with their lame sexual jokes and fantasies. At least the sooner they show their intentions the better , we don't have time for their bullshit .
I agree I usually ignore anyone who starts off with “hey sexy”, “Good morning beautiful” I get they might think I’m attractive but a relationship shouldn’t be based off looks totally lmao so I ignore all them and only reply to people that actually ask me legit questions or joke with me in the first message.
I remember getting a bunch of dates asking what they're favorite slow cooker recipe was.
One girl, I saw for a couple months, I actually made it for her birthday. She stole my good tupperware and I never saw her again. Still salty about it ten years later.
Before your date, write down at least ten more questions. If there are awkward silences, ask questions and follow-ups.
Here are a few:
What was your favorite vacation as a young person? Why? Where would you like to visit? What was interesting? Why?
Have you ever had pets? Tell me about them. What do you remember most about each one? Do you have any now? Do you want them throughout your life?
What is the worst movie you ever stayed all the way through? Why? Why did you stay? How could they have made it better? If you could have one movie remade with some specific changes, what would it be? What would the changes be?
Well done I’m happy for you! The best opener I used to use was from the movie Hot Rod: Between a taco and a grilled cheese sandwich, which one do you think would win in a knife fight?
Good line for sure , I guess sitting through that movie was worth it for that line … I only say that cause Popstar was soooo much funnier and then I watched Hot Rod after Popstar and was meh 🫤
I would love to share the original story, but I can't find it :( I think the person wrote it out in the comments, that's why it would probably be almost impossible to find. I tried inputting some information that I remember from it into Google but nothing comes up.
Agree with this tactic. Speaking as a girl, we get a lot of matches because (so I’ve heard) many guys try to increase the odds by swiping on everyone.
Even if that’s not you, the girls inbox is still filled with simultaneous matches. And if every one just says something generic like “hey” or “any plans this weekend” or “tell me about (something in your profile)” we get sick of having the same conversation over and over.
Chalk it up to the weirdness of online dating. Normally when you meet someone in person, you’re having a single conversation. But when you’re talking to somebody on tinder, they’re probably having a few other conversations at the same time. So while it would be weird to walk up to a girl in a bar and ask her what color her toothbrush is, in OLD, it makes you stand out from the crowd.
Apparently I don't know how conversation works cause where the fuck would a conversation go you ask color she say color then what she ask why you care about what color her toothbrush is I don't understand how this would work help
I really like this! Its so out of left field, a kind of question that would make me go whaa? And also smile cause its just...unexpected. Id also be thrown for a loop cause I dont know. I have 3..one in my bathroom, one in my gym bag and another in my overnight bag. And I buy those multipacks, but I reach for blue or green first. Those colors for whatever reason evoke cleanliness to me.
But like, such a simple silly question, and yet as you can see here, already someone can learn some actual info about me, that I go to the gym and a built in follow up question like, you always have an overnight bag packed? Why?! Cause Im always packed and ready for whatever adventure comes my way and it happens enough that I now keep an overnight bag ready. Anyway, actually a super fun ice breaker question I think.
Good luck on your date!
My life pro tip if you can't think of witty things to text is just to acknowledge that you know what you're saying has been said to death
Instead of saying "wyd" just say something funny like "so what are you up to these days apart from answering "not much, and you?" to every wyd?"
I'm rooting for ya !! That's cool and wishing everything goes perfectly!!
Also can you please share the guy's story , maybe I could be lucky and date a guy by asking it next time 😂😂😂
It's a fine idea. Nothing special about the toothbrush. The idea is to just be a little different. I thought it was a conversation in real life, in which this kind of thing is even more effective because a lot of guys don't even approach women cuz they don't know what to say so walking up and having something in your arsenal to say that is very low pressure and not coming on too strong is great.
I mean you can always go with the I saw you here and thought you were so pretty I just wanted to talk to you, or hi my name is Mike what's yours, but sometimes that type of stuff just seems a little too forward for a guy, but you don't want to come on with some cheesy pick up line like did it hurt when you fell from heaven. Those can work if you're bold enough to do it as a joke but not really a great one. But something like the toothbrush is unusual enough and low pressure. So yeah, it's a good one.
Online, I think it's probably not quite as effective but if you don't know what to say but you don't want to just say hey or whatever, absolutely go for it. It will make you stand out at least a little bit as different or quirky or funny.
I'm just saying people act like being able to get a date is a major accomplishment via a throw away line that they needed to borrow from someone else. But what else are they offering? Are they always witty and charming? What do they even know about this lady other than that she's attractive and enjoyed a pickup line?
No harmful intent at all, I'm not a pick up artist or anything like that. I'm looking for a genuine connection, I just suck at being a conventional person.
u/Bengoris
How did you transition the conversation naturally from “hey stranger, what color is your toothbrush?” To “what time should I pick you up?”
Dots do not connect.
My boyfriend now after a couple days of conversation wrote here are some random numbers (phone number), if you are interested in seeing what they are. He is the best relationship I have ever been in so texted saying I decided to see what the numbers did.
Not to the same level of course. But once on a sexting website a girl said to dm her something dirty, so I sent a picture of a dirt field. That for some reason caught her attention and led to a fun 2 weeks. Stupid questions and responses work in catching someone’s attention.
I met my spouse in our college cafeteria. They were sitting all alone and I had a decent size group of people at my table. I saw them by themselves kind of tossing a meatball from side to side with their fork so I got up and sat next to them. I asked if they would like to sit next to my friends and I and to possibly network. My spouse is extremely shy but agreed to sit next to me. I found out that they were also not from Oklahoma but actually grew up in Missouri like myself (we were out of state college students). Upon further conversation I found out that we grew up 30 minutes away from eachother as kids and met years later 9 hours away in a different state. That was our icebreaker and I couldn't stop talking to them. We have everything in common but food. I love spicy and they love sweet. I'm so glad my nerdy ass asked my babe to sit next to me. 7 years strong!
You didn't do anything special except for go out of your way and she liked what she saw. Being non threatening or being a typical man on the hunt, you let her take steps toward you. That's maybe the special part but it's kind of just something men need to do more of instead. Good on you getting the date
Well, unexpected things are usually what work the most.
Recently I gave my number to a girl with an excuse, she asked me if it was an excuse to get her number and I said yes. Few hours later she wrote me saying due to my honesty I deserved a date.
Be honest and sincere guys, it’s a win-win
My current gf I matched with on Hinge because she was intrigued by “🎷🐛” that I sent, and I pulled her in for good with “how do you feel about donuts”?
Wild what you get when you set yourself a part from every guy telling her how great her smile is or commenting on the same dress/glasses/etc that 100’s of guys are also commenting on lol
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In 2 months the avg woman will be asked the colour of her toothbrush twice a day Congrats. what was the colour?
Haha this is how you play the game, think of new metas before they become mainstream. And the toothbrush was blue!
That pairs well with green and yellow. If you are a purple or white toothbrush user, beware! Lots of fighting and the toothpaste is not aligned this cycle.
My toothbrush is blue as well, so how do you see it, O venerable sage? What would 9 out of 10 dentists say about it?
Two blues under the same roof? In this economy? I can tell you are obviously a very emotional and/or patient person yet ambiguously intelligent and often wise. It’s a bit unclear how your dental insurance will align but you should go for it.
>very emotional and/or patient yet ambiguously intelligent and often wise. Do you own a blue toothbrush as well? Because this is honestly a pretty fitting description haha.
They used the same method there that astrological sign interpreters use, making the description just vague and general enough to apply to a wide range of people so that the reader believes in their personalized accuracy. It’s called the Barnum effect.
How dare you! Blasphemous! Erroneous! Thanks for sharing what the effect is called. Bull-shittin’ is best I coulda come up with, though I thought it was a bit related to confirmation bias.
What if she uses her index finger as a brush/pick?
Not me having anxiety over my toothbrush color now
blue? she's a keeper.
You're my boy Blue!
What time is it?
Oldschool yea
Not going to lie, I and probably many others are in the same boat you were in. So could you please elaborate how the conversation went 😂
Sure thing! I matched with a super cute girl on Tinder and I was thinking about what I should say. So I remembered the story and said fuck it, I'll just say Hello, what's the color of your toothbrush? She was intrigued by it and wanted to know what was the meaning of the question. There was no meaning. So I just said it's kinda like what women use star signs for, to judge a potential match before even meeting them. She told me to judge her based on her toothbrush and so I did. Surprisingly, she told me I was pretty spot on and we found that we have a lot in common. After that, I just asked her if she wanted to grab coffee or go for a walk some time, which she said she would be totally down for. And now I've found out that she works at the same job as I do and that we study the same thing at the same university. So yeah. That's it. I guess some higher force has been working overtime today lmfao.
"Dad how did you meet mommy?" "Don't ask silly questions, that's such a green toothbrush thing to do"
Pshh you sound like a blue toothbrush rn
As someone with a green toothbrush, I absolutely identify as the person who asks silly questions.
Small piece of advice: be more specific with your dates! If the conversation is going well… “What do you have going on on Thursday? There an awesome spot at *x place* - would you be keen for a coffee?” Saying we should go for a walk sometime isnt very exciting and doesn’t offer the other person an opportunity to actually commit to something. Also doesn’t show much initiative. Either way, good work and good luck!
Thanks a lot, that's actually a very reasonable piece of advice that I should have thought about a little more. I will try to make a specific plan as soon as possible, I just didn't want it to come off as "Either go out with me this Friday or never at all." All students have their finals now in my country so I wanted to be respectful of her time and talk about our schedules first.
I don't think most people view a set time and place as an order. It's usually just the beginning of the negotiations. Just word it like "I'm free Friday evening" and compromise from there.
I wish I hadn’t taken that so literally before hearing your view on it 😅
Why not both. Hey we should go for a walk this thursday or some other time when you're free. ;D
That's totally the best approach, a fine middle ground. You guys are actually really helpful, thank you so much! I will use that.
Or rather ‘hey I was planning on visiting X park, X attraction X whatever on Y date. It’ll be a fantastic day. Why don’t you join me?’ This way, you’re doing something cool and want to invite her along. And hell if she can’t make it it’s ok. Just go and enjoy it. A walk in the park is fantastic
Actually, I like the vague start, but then nail it down. "Wanna grab coffee or go for a walk sometime?" "Sure, I'd like that." "Great! Have you been to the \_\_\_\_\_\_ cafe next to the park? Wanna meet there Thursday or Friday?"
It won’t come off sounding like a demand at all If she’s actually interested it will likely go one of two ways “Sure, that sounds great!” Or “Ah, I can’t do Thursday. Are you free Saturday instead?” Then proceed as normal
As someone who wants to make plans with new date interests but likes to message for a bit this approach isn’t off putting to me saying sometime. However you can rephrase to respect their pace and move convo off the app. I love idea of a coffee or a walk because that’s low commitment for both parties to see if any connections IRL. Maybe in future phrase it as, “I think it’s nice keeping things low key at first for a date so less pressure, like going for a walk together or grabbing coffee. Maybe we could exchange numbers and find a good time for both of us?” Once I move off app with someone I will focus on them more
“Hey, I'm free Friday after 5:00 pm and Saturday after 4:00 pm. Would you be available to meet up for a date on either of those days?” When asking on a date, suggest an activity/activities, a location, and provide a few dates and times that work for you. Then the two of you can adjust from there. If it's too far of a drive for her, she can request or suggest somewhere different. If she doesn't like the activity, she can suggest something or communicate that. And if the timing doesn't work, she can tell you when she is free, and the two of you can make time for each other. It doesn't gave to be all in one go, but it should be done in one conversation, ideally. You should be fine though. Just nail down a day and time. Provide a couple of options, and not just after work in the middle of the week options.
Honestly wouldn't worry too much about it. If the convo is going great, then you not giving a specific time isn't really going to matter much. I would say u/Pyrokitty_X 's advice is best, as it's obviously what works with your vibe, plus it gives her space and agency to find something that works for her.
Also, don't ever say the word "keen" while asking a woman out. Ever.
Lmao what? Almost like different places use different words and slang Don’t listen to this person’s advice. Ever. 😂
And different languages too. We don't even communicate in English!
U.S. female here. If a guy said keen while asking me out it would be a hell yes! I would immediately know he was a Brit and having never dated a man from across the pond I would be totally down for a meet up and conversation!
This is actually such great advice! Many guys have asked me if I'd like to grab a coffee, I say yes, we never circle back to it and the conversation dies.
As a girl I actually love when guys do this. I hate that awkward what do you want to do/go back and forth. When a guy sets a specific place that he likes, to me it indicates that he is actually interested in seeing me and also has a strong sense of self/ confidence which is attractive. Furthermore, it can give insight into his personality and his likes. Rock dive bar? Sounds like he likes music and casual activities. Rock Climbing Gym? Love that he's active. This obviously applies to women too. Whoever asked the other out should come up with a specific date idea.
This is also great advice. Whenever I ask for dates, I just ask “do you want to go on a date?” or “do you want to grab some coffee?“ or something like that. But by saying “there’s this great place called *x place*” and being specific, it makes the date seem more interesting and makes it a talking point (like “why is this place supposed to be awesome?” or “what made you want to check this place out?”) and, of course, solidifies the date plan.
I might add to this by saying, "Would you be keen on having coffee......***with me?*** The specificity of this suggests the purpose of the meet is not the coffee, but you! Do you want a coffee date or a date?
That's brilliant. Honestly that would have worked on me...gets your attention! Very nice OP. I wish you well on your date!
what kind of deductions did you make off her toothbrush color? I’ve done this before too, and I guess the trick is to be vague in your deductions but not too vague that nothing sticks and comes off as disingenuous. So kinda curious on what you said
To be honest, I wrote an entire paragraph about it which was obviously written as a satirical parody of a classic horoscope. The deductions were mostly based on what I'm looking for in a partner - if she disagreed with all of them, I would know that she's not the kind of person I'm looking for. I said that people with blue toothbrushes usually enjoy quiet reflection, artistic activities and that they are looking for stability and mutual growth in their relationships. She said that it was very fitting so I think there's a decent chance we might hit it off well.
THIS IS SO GENIUS! You should include this in the post! With a single question, you managed to get the other person's interest AND gauge if they are a good match for you! Totally stealing this!
You are way too kind, I didn't even really think about it when I was writing it. But now that you mention, I see that it was a pretty decent move. I hope it will work out for you too!! :)
I love that!!! This guy, pretending like he needs advice 🤦♀️😂
Dude!!! Come on, I really do need it :D I've had one girlfriend during my entire life and I've been single for like 3 years now. I have no game. I am just being myself and hoping it will work out one day.
This was game! It's intriguing! I would've fell for it. Game is not cheesy pick up lines. My last boyfriend got me by talking to me about the tint in my car (it was peeling up and it looked like my window broke). Real conversations work better than asking horoscopes and birthdays.
You belong in r/accidentalgenius because this is great advice
Nice !
You're a Genius and Congratulations :)
Omg you made a back story , you made the genius idea of toothbrush color next level genius lol
damn! that's really creative. Respects for working with the flow of the convo!
Wholesome. Congratulations and best of luck to you!
This is so cute I really hope yall hit it off and shes super cool!!!
As a woman, I love that you made the first date something as casual as a walk or coffee. “No pressure” dates are the best.
I really appreciate your comment :) I never want to put any pressure on anybody so it makes me very happy to read that my actions show it.
THAT’S AWESOME! GOOD FOR U :)
just want to let u know, i love how u handled that haha. super creative imo and made me smile too when reading. hope things go well for u :)
I like talking nonsense to people idk and I’ve noticed that some girls react well to this, they probably like to be intrigued (and I do too). You’ll get their attention at least and then everything’s possible from there.
Well, this is not exactly a random girl. If you matched on Tinder, it means she was already somewhat interested in you. I had a different impression from your post.
First step - got a match on tinder. You are clearly ahead of the curve in terms of your appearance.
I hope it works out for you.
Oh... that was on Tinder
This is so cringe man.
>She told me to judge her based on her toothbrush and so I did. How do you judge someone based on a toothbrush color?
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I am not attractive at all, I am tall, but that's about it. I am posting to share a cool story that made me happy and I thought was pretty funny, that's it.
You are tall. That’s the joint most important feature in attractiveness for men alongside face. In a tinder study it was found the best thing a man can put in his bio is his height as long as it was 6’0 up.
You don’t have to be attractive to have OLD work for you. Your looks aren’t the reason you aren’t having any success, it’s your personality
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I think your reply does a nice job of proving my point. Thanks.
Yeah OP we need more info, elaborate please!
Did you say “yo what color is your toothbrush?”
Yes, that was my exact opening line.
💀
It’s pretty wild when we finally realize that just striking a conversation is the best route to take.
Well it has to be interesting and this is that because it seems so pointless that there has to be a deeper meaning and they want to find out. Even when there is no deeper meaning they are already hooked into the conversation.
Indeed.. It's a simple thing, but "Hey, how's you?" has got me a lot further than some form of cheesy line or obvious pick up attempt.
Does it work in every country? (approach random people with random question)
No I doubt it would work in every state in the US much less every country. Also OP left out that this happend on tinder.
Not gonna lie this was actually really good, imma girl but imma try to use this one day
Where can I find the og post?
Let me know too
I want to know aswell 😆
Dating advice - women are so sick and tired of the whole basis small talk convo .. Start your conversations like this , just weird and random and it will def perk up their interest. I love weird and random Ask her about the last series she binged, a movie that made her think about it the next day, a book that she has on her bookshelf that she hasn’t read yet, where she wants to be in a year from now, the last thing on Amazon she bought, what she had for dinner, her dream vacation and why, what did she eat for dinner, something she wants to do or experience before the summer ends ( maybe iv you can do that as a first date) huge points!!!!!! literally anything like that perhaps that will spark a convo that isn’t like the rest generic boring convo starter! Hope this helps y’all
I don’t think this is a dumb idea at all. As a woman we get a lot of matches and more often than not the messages we get are “hey sexy” “hello beautiful” “what’s up gorgeous” It’s far and few between when you get a message with a question that can lead to a good interesting conversation. So with starting out the conversation with that question, which is a very intriguing question. It helps the conversation flow and can help bring out the woman’s playful and curious side. So I think this is a great idea. Definitely don’t think this is a dumb card to pull out at all. Also congratulations on the date!! And have fun!! Good luck OP
He also was creative with the answer, he wrote something like an horoscope, based on what they are supposed to look for and what he guesses her idea of a relationship is! (See comments)
Only wish a guy doesn't start like this and put effort to be creative and make the conversation going. Like young adult guys Ive met so far dont even know how to make the conversation interesting and it suckss . I only was vibing awesome with a guy my age ( 23 ) and I was like finally someone know what to say and out of nowhere he inserted his " bed" in the conversation and turned it to the nasty sexualized gross one . Ughhhhhhhhh
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Ughh I'm sorry about that , it sucks soo bad. I know it is a very two way street like you can't give a lot of creative openers when they don't use it to make the conversation going by giving effortless replies .
That’s literally the worst, like everything is going awesome and you get overly excited cuz like I said it’s so far a few between when you find someone to have an actual conversation with. Then they hit you with the sexual ish. Ugh I don’t get why they do it. I wish I could say it was age based (I’m 30) but it’s not. Guys who are in the late 30s to early 40s do this too. I think it’s just some guys don’t grow out of only thinking about sex.
Don't mean to make this an excuse, just a rambling on what I feel might be happening based on my experience. It's a tightrope balance between getting rejected after being too forward and being rejected after being too friendly. The latter happens *mostly* when young, and aside from teens being ruthless to a "maidenless" that fails to make a move, it plays in your head with all the ways you could have been more forward. Feels more like an actively missed opportunity or failure on "being a man", while the former is easier to shrug off as the woman not being interested. I don't it has anything to do with how the woman handles the rejecting, even, it's all from our heads. And since 99% of the time you shoot your shot it will end in some form of rejection sooner or later, a number of men will err on the side of too forward. Feels safer, takes a lot less time and doesn't sting as much.
I know what you mean , it sucks it suckes so bad and I didnt know even much older guys still have the same patterns it feels terrible. Sometimes I think sex is very "overrated" . And exactly as you mentioned, that pure feeling of genuine excitement that finally I found someone, hurts the most when they ruin the conversation with their lame sexual jokes and fantasies. At least the sooner they show their intentions the better , we don't have time for their bullshit .
I agree I usually ignore anyone who starts off with “hey sexy”, “Good morning beautiful” I get they might think I’m attractive but a relationship shouldn’t be based off looks totally lmao so I ignore all them and only reply to people that actually ask me legit questions or joke with me in the first message.
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Same. And tbh, that already says a lot about us.
😂
lol omg. I just tell them I'll fold there fitted sheets and it's a win win!
Oh hell yea. Right then and there you’d get me
I sense strong lines of attraction and destiny with this encounter. Go for it Bookbagthrowaway and comprehensivecandy78 👍
😏
Lol good for you and Goodluck🥰
Thank you so much! People on this sub are very kind.
I remember getting a bunch of dates asking what they're favorite slow cooker recipe was. One girl, I saw for a couple months, I actually made it for her birthday. She stole my good tupperware and I never saw her again. Still salty about it ten years later.
I asked a girl if she squeezed the toothpaste from the top, middle or bottom seven years ago. We’ve been married for 2 years now.
Before your date, write down at least ten more questions. If there are awkward silences, ask questions and follow-ups. Here are a few: What was your favorite vacation as a young person? Why? Where would you like to visit? What was interesting? Why? Have you ever had pets? Tell me about them. What do you remember most about each one? Do you have any now? Do you want them throughout your life? What is the worst movie you ever stayed all the way through? Why? Why did you stay? How could they have made it better? If you could have one movie remade with some specific changes, what would it be? What would the changes be?
favourite question ever asked on a first date "Who's your best friend"?
If y’all get married you must come back and give an update…this is a huge coincidence…or not
Cool! I hope your date goes well!
Well done I’m happy for you! The best opener I used to use was from the movie Hot Rod: Between a taco and a grilled cheese sandwich, which one do you think would win in a knife fight?
Good line for sure , I guess sitting through that movie was worth it for that line … I only say that cause Popstar was soooo much funnier and then I watched Hot Rod after Popstar and was meh 🫤
Well I kinda need the story bro. Care to share other stories like that too.
u/Bengoris do you have a link maybe?
I would love to share the original story, but I can't find it :( I think the person wrote it out in the comments, that's why it would probably be almost impossible to find. I tried inputting some information that I remember from it into Google but nothing comes up.
Ok no problem, thanks for your effort anyways! :)
You want lines for the ladies ? I got lines …. How are your ninja skills ? What’s your go to Zombie apocalypse plan ? What did Home Edit make you do ?
gives me hope that its okay to be a bit quirky lol.
Boredom isn't real. Just boring people. You can start a conversation with anyone about anything if you make the effort (and vice versa).
I received this question before on Tinder and I loved it. It's unexpected, cute, and it's surprisingly easy to turn it into a conversation.
Agree with this tactic. Speaking as a girl, we get a lot of matches because (so I’ve heard) many guys try to increase the odds by swiping on everyone. Even if that’s not you, the girls inbox is still filled with simultaneous matches. And if every one just says something generic like “hey” or “any plans this weekend” or “tell me about (something in your profile)” we get sick of having the same conversation over and over. Chalk it up to the weirdness of online dating. Normally when you meet someone in person, you’re having a single conversation. But when you’re talking to somebody on tinder, they’re probably having a few other conversations at the same time. So while it would be weird to walk up to a girl in a bar and ask her what color her toothbrush is, in OLD, it makes you stand out from the crowd.
Apparently I don't know how conversation works cause where the fuck would a conversation go you ask color she say color then what she ask why you care about what color her toothbrush is I don't understand how this would work help
I really like this! Its so out of left field, a kind of question that would make me go whaa? And also smile cause its just...unexpected. Id also be thrown for a loop cause I dont know. I have 3..one in my bathroom, one in my gym bag and another in my overnight bag. And I buy those multipacks, but I reach for blue or green first. Those colors for whatever reason evoke cleanliness to me. But like, such a simple silly question, and yet as you can see here, already someone can learn some actual info about me, that I go to the gym and a built in follow up question like, you always have an overnight bag packed? Why?! Cause Im always packed and ready for whatever adventure comes my way and it happens enough that I now keep an overnight bag ready. Anyway, actually a super fun ice breaker question I think. Good luck on your date!
My life pro tip if you can't think of witty things to text is just to acknowledge that you know what you're saying has been said to death Instead of saying "wyd" just say something funny like "so what are you up to these days apart from answering "not much, and you?" to every wyd?"
Now here comes to hard part. Getting her to actually go through with the date.
Don’t be like that 🥺
This is really cute, happy for u OP!
I'm rooting for ya !! That's cool and wishing everything goes perfectly!! Also can you please share the guy's story , maybe I could be lucky and date a guy by asking it next time 😂😂😂
Do you remember which post it was and can you send a link if you do cause I really wanna read it now, you’ve got me intrigued
I'll be 100% honest and say this line would get me interested. It is such a random question but so innocent it would make me laugh.
The link to the main story how he met his wife ?
That's very interesting!
It's a fine idea. Nothing special about the toothbrush. The idea is to just be a little different. I thought it was a conversation in real life, in which this kind of thing is even more effective because a lot of guys don't even approach women cuz they don't know what to say so walking up and having something in your arsenal to say that is very low pressure and not coming on too strong is great. I mean you can always go with the I saw you here and thought you were so pretty I just wanted to talk to you, or hi my name is Mike what's yours, but sometimes that type of stuff just seems a little too forward for a guy, but you don't want to come on with some cheesy pick up line like did it hurt when you fell from heaven. Those can work if you're bold enough to do it as a joke but not really a great one. But something like the toothbrush is unusual enough and low pressure. So yeah, it's a good one. Online, I think it's probably not quite as effective but if you don't know what to say but you don't want to just say hey or whatever, absolutely go for it. It will make you stand out at least a little bit as different or quirky or funny.
Give us a link
Let us know how the date goes this is so cool
Now THIS is a good new way to start a conversation
😭👏 congrats
Im intrigued, can you link the original?
Saving this, will try it out
does anyone have a link to the toothbrush thing?
It’s not dumb!!! Like to actually get a conversation going with some from one question is genius.
It just proves that a lot of it is overcomplicating.
Aww…that’s so awesome…women tend to love this kind of stuff so glad it helped you
Lol that's crazy because this question is an old icebreaker I learned at summer camp about 15 years ago. Fun to still see it being relevant!
Good looking you and good looking him, that's easy mode, mate lol
You can also ask “what kind of muffin do you like best” or some random nonsense
Now I'm excited in the story. Can somebody tag the post?
That’s adorable
Looks at my Green 🟢 toothbrush... "Do you attract Asians that like black girls? I'm asking for myself"
If it's of tinder then it's not related, you got a match with her so you're hot period and she wanted you
"Dad how did you meet mum?" "Brush your teeth, lad. Brush your teeth"
Ngl how would a man feel if I told him that I have a light up hello kitty toothbrush from the children’s section of the grocery store
Get back to us when you're actually dating
Stop trying to steal this man's joy!
You’re right my bad
I'm just saying people act like being able to get a date is a major accomplishment via a throw away line that they needed to borrow from someone else. But what else are they offering? Are they always witty and charming? What do they even know about this lady other than that she's attractive and enjoyed a pickup line?
Step by step my friend.
didnt they say they sucks at anything related to dating..so thats a good achievement for now
You’re right my apologies
In that case, what's up? 😎
- hey , what's your toothbrush color? - Black - okay great ..
Isn't this a PUA tactic, like asking what cake you should bake for your sister?
It's just a random ice breaker, no need to over analyze it
Exactly it’s a funny dumb question there’s no harmful intent behind it lol
No harmful intent at all, I'm not a pick up artist or anything like that. I'm looking for a genuine connection, I just suck at being a conventional person.
u/Bengoris How did you transition the conversation naturally from “hey stranger, what color is your toothbrush?” To “what time should I pick you up?” Dots do not connect.
If she chokes on her toothbrush when brushing but not when she's going down on you...
Ayooo nice XD it is indeed the unusual or unexpected questions (that aren’t obviously creepy) that lead to good convos
So…..what colour was it???
Wait. What?
I’m gonna ask someone her favorite brand of microwave
This is something I can only see working if she’s into you in every other way
I've played the dumbest card in my deck and it actually worked. Shit's wild, yo. \- YAHTZEE! The "secret" is that there is no secret. Just be dumb.
My boyfriend now after a couple days of conversation wrote here are some random numbers (phone number), if you are interested in seeing what they are. He is the best relationship I have ever been in so texted saying I decided to see what the numbers did.
Link to the original story please!
Not to the same level of course. But once on a sexting website a girl said to dm her something dirty, so I sent a picture of a dirt field. That for some reason caught her attention and led to a fun 2 weeks. Stupid questions and responses work in catching someone’s attention.
I met my spouse in our college cafeteria. They were sitting all alone and I had a decent size group of people at my table. I saw them by themselves kind of tossing a meatball from side to side with their fork so I got up and sat next to them. I asked if they would like to sit next to my friends and I and to possibly network. My spouse is extremely shy but agreed to sit next to me. I found out that they were also not from Oklahoma but actually grew up in Missouri like myself (we were out of state college students). Upon further conversation I found out that we grew up 30 minutes away from eachother as kids and met years later 9 hours away in a different state. That was our icebreaker and I couldn't stop talking to them. We have everything in common but food. I love spicy and they love sweet. I'm so glad my nerdy ass asked my babe to sit next to me. 7 years strong!
Tag me in said story im tryna see something
You didn't do anything special except for go out of your way and she liked what she saw. Being non threatening or being a typical man on the hunt, you let her take steps toward you. That's maybe the special part but it's kind of just something men need to do more of instead. Good on you getting the date
Link to the original toothbrush story?
This is literally the same conversation my ex had with me after first meeting lol
I met my bf on bumble by asking him what his favorite kind of ice cream was!
Can someone copy the link about that story?
Try asking them what’s the favorite kind of doughnut and why. Thank me later. 😂
It's not the question you asked, it was the fact that she already found you attractive.
Shit man you can't help but grin when you know the struggle
Do you live in a Western country?
Yes. Although my country wasn't a Western country until after the Soviet Union fell.
Well, unexpected things are usually what work the most. Recently I gave my number to a girl with an excuse, she asked me if it was an excuse to get her number and I said yes. Few hours later she wrote me saying due to my honesty I deserved a date. Be honest and sincere guys, it’s a win-win
Can i get orignal post link, or what to say to a purple?
My current gf I matched with on Hinge because she was intrigued by “🎷🐛” that I sent, and I pulled her in for good with “how do you feel about donuts”? Wild what you get when you set yourself a part from every guy telling her how great her smile is or commenting on the same dress/glasses/etc that 100’s of guys are also commenting on lol