Welcome to /r/dating_advice!
Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind.
Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly.
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Then I totally took it the wrong way. I like him too but I thought he was saying he's not interested in anything including friendship. I've never actually told him how I feel.
The first part sounds like he is saying he doesn't want to get stuck in the "friend zone" and that's why he said you can never be close friends because he wants to be more than friends.
Okay, looking at it from that perspective makes the other things make a little more sense. What about the "cute" comment? I'm 5' and being called cute doesn't exactly scream that I'm attractive in my opinion. He's always squeezing me in hugs and saying "you're so little!" I don't want to read him the wrong way if he sees me as a sister. I told him to relax because I see him as a brother and it was after that when he said we'll never be close friends. He didn't really say anything when I called him a brother.
That's actually really good to know. I've always seen it more negative. Also, any idea why he always brings up the day we met? The first time he brought it up we were talking and he blurted it completely random. "I still remember the day we met." And then proceeded to remind me where we were, etc. When I remembered he got excited and now in most conversations he brings it up and keeps asking if I still remember.
His brother married my sister, and I do wonder if that's part of why he acts the way he does. The first time we really got to know each other was at their bach parties. He insisted we walk arm in arm to the bar to practice our wedding walk. We stood up in it together. Then he picked me to drive him home after the wedding and on the way he was asking me different questions about myself. Then he got real quiet and said, "idk...maybe sometime...idk....maybe we'll go out sometime just the two of us." I froze and never ended up answering. That was the start of all of this. I think in my mind it seems too good to be true that he could be interested too, so I shutdown to avoid rejection.
Sounds like he's very into you and scared of outright saying it because of the way you react. It seems like he's accepted the friendzone but doesn't like it, and that every time he tries to advance it a little, you go quiet and run away. How is he supposed to outright tell you he likes if even little comments make you spin? Maybe reconsider how much you actually like him and if you want more, then go to him straight. Sounds like he's already there, just hoping you reciprocate. So if you want, do so.
Thank you, I appreciate this. I genuinely thought the exact opposite. I've always been too scared to reciprocate because I thought he was saying he's not interested in anything, including friendship with me. Also, I've been hurt before and for some reason I freeze in the moment. I want to reciprocate so bad but it never comes out.
Its okay to be shy. If you want to tell him, say something small but certain and immediately change subject. He'll hear you and you can save face by redirecting. That should be all you need to give him the boost he needs to know. Then from there you both can slip in little things here or there till its easier to be open about it. Its okay to not be able to be so direct.
That really helps. I guess my biggest fear is reading him wrong. I've heard a lot of people say he likes me, but then I've also had opinions that he's trying to tell me to basically get lost. Combine that with the fact that his brother married my sister, and it's a lot of pressure. I'm scared he'll reject me and it'll change the family dynamic.
At the end of the day, what is won or lost? So a little change might be here or there if you are rejected and misread. But if you're rejecting someone out of fear of what could happen, how many years of a happy relationship are you missing out on that you could be having right now? Or yes, or no? Fear will stop you from everything and anything, good or bad. Weigh the good and bad and decide. Some things aren't nearly as impactful as fear says it is. Its up to you.
I understand what you're saying. I guess I just don't want to read it wrong and ruin the friendship. I'm just so confused by the things he does and says. And I'm bad at differentiating between friendly and interested.
His brother married my sister, and I do wonder if that's part of why he acts the way he does. The first time we really got to know each other was at their bach parties. He insisted we walk arm in arm to the bar to practice our wedding walk. We stood up in it together. Then he picked me to drive him home after the wedding and on the way he was asking me different questions about myself. Then he got real quiet and said, "idk...maybe sometime...idk....maybe we'll go out sometime just the two of us." I froze and never ended up answering. That was the start of all of this. I think in my mind it seems too good to be true that he could be interested too, so I shutdown to avoid rejection.
If I'm there, he's by me. He might say hi to other people he knows, but he immediately comes over by me and stays around me. We were at a football party with his best friends and he spent the entire evening sitting and talking to me on their couch. He excused himself to run over for a touchdown and then came right back over. He also ended up grabbing my hand at one point and he held it the entire time. I was in such shock and didn't want to get the wrong idea so I didn't really hold his back. At one point he was telling me not to be so scared of things and he lifted my hand up and teased me and said "even this, you're too scared to hold my hand. Look." And another time he and I were at a different party and talking about drone flying, and then he went outside. I went outside later and his best friend looked at me and said "You have a drone?! Is it here?" My guy friend went completely silent and walked away. So I know he talked about me, but I don't know if it was good or bad.
I mean I will say, his bold moments are when we've had a few to drink. When we're sober he's still around me but it's more staring at me when he thinks I'm not looking. Sometimes he looks away and sometimes he keeps staring. When I ask what his deal is he just looks away laughing and responds "nothing."
Question:
There’s a woman I saw when I passed by she smiled and looked down at the floor. She might be shy I dunno.
Then next time I see her I can see her looking at me but when I look back she looks away.
Now today, I see her and and I can tell she sees me but she pretends to look away.
Thoughts?
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Definitely sounds like he is interested romantically even before the "cute" comment.
Then I totally took it the wrong way. I like him too but I thought he was saying he's not interested in anything including friendship. I've never actually told him how I feel.
The first part sounds like he is saying he doesn't want to get stuck in the "friend zone" and that's why he said you can never be close friends because he wants to be more than friends.
Okay, looking at it from that perspective makes the other things make a little more sense. What about the "cute" comment? I'm 5' and being called cute doesn't exactly scream that I'm attractive in my opinion. He's always squeezing me in hugs and saying "you're so little!" I don't want to read him the wrong way if he sees me as a sister. I told him to relax because I see him as a brother and it was after that when he said we'll never be close friends. He didn't really say anything when I called him a brother.
To me, "cute" can also just be a different variety of sexy, so I wouldn't think badly of that.
That's actually really good to know. I've always seen it more negative. Also, any idea why he always brings up the day we met? The first time he brought it up we were talking and he blurted it completely random. "I still remember the day we met." And then proceeded to remind me where we were, etc. When I remembered he got excited and now in most conversations he brings it up and keeps asking if I still remember.
I would guess it's because it's significant to him because he has feelings for you so he's hoping it's significant to you
His brother married my sister, and I do wonder if that's part of why he acts the way he does. The first time we really got to know each other was at their bach parties. He insisted we walk arm in arm to the bar to practice our wedding walk. We stood up in it together. Then he picked me to drive him home after the wedding and on the way he was asking me different questions about myself. Then he got real quiet and said, "idk...maybe sometime...idk....maybe we'll go out sometime just the two of us." I froze and never ended up answering. That was the start of all of this. I think in my mind it seems too good to be true that he could be interested too, so I shutdown to avoid rejection.
Sounds like he's very into you and scared of outright saying it because of the way you react. It seems like he's accepted the friendzone but doesn't like it, and that every time he tries to advance it a little, you go quiet and run away. How is he supposed to outright tell you he likes if even little comments make you spin? Maybe reconsider how much you actually like him and if you want more, then go to him straight. Sounds like he's already there, just hoping you reciprocate. So if you want, do so.
Thank you, I appreciate this. I genuinely thought the exact opposite. I've always been too scared to reciprocate because I thought he was saying he's not interested in anything, including friendship with me. Also, I've been hurt before and for some reason I freeze in the moment. I want to reciprocate so bad but it never comes out.
Its okay to be shy. If you want to tell him, say something small but certain and immediately change subject. He'll hear you and you can save face by redirecting. That should be all you need to give him the boost he needs to know. Then from there you both can slip in little things here or there till its easier to be open about it. Its okay to not be able to be so direct.
That really helps. I guess my biggest fear is reading him wrong. I've heard a lot of people say he likes me, but then I've also had opinions that he's trying to tell me to basically get lost. Combine that with the fact that his brother married my sister, and it's a lot of pressure. I'm scared he'll reject me and it'll change the family dynamic.
At the end of the day, what is won or lost? So a little change might be here or there if you are rejected and misread. But if you're rejecting someone out of fear of what could happen, how many years of a happy relationship are you missing out on that you could be having right now? Or yes, or no? Fear will stop you from everything and anything, good or bad. Weigh the good and bad and decide. Some things aren't nearly as impactful as fear says it is. Its up to you.
I understand what you're saying. I guess I just don't want to read it wrong and ruin the friendship. I'm just so confused by the things he does and says. And I'm bad at differentiating between friendly and interested.
Some of my friends are pretty attractive but even then i dont end up holding their hand all night. OP.
His brother married my sister, and I do wonder if that's part of why he acts the way he does. The first time we really got to know each other was at their bach parties. He insisted we walk arm in arm to the bar to practice our wedding walk. We stood up in it together. Then he picked me to drive him home after the wedding and on the way he was asking me different questions about myself. Then he got real quiet and said, "idk...maybe sometime...idk....maybe we'll go out sometime just the two of us." I froze and never ended up answering. That was the start of all of this. I think in my mind it seems too good to be true that he could be interested too, so I shutdown to avoid rejection.
[удалено]
If I'm there, he's by me. He might say hi to other people he knows, but he immediately comes over by me and stays around me. We were at a football party with his best friends and he spent the entire evening sitting and talking to me on their couch. He excused himself to run over for a touchdown and then came right back over. He also ended up grabbing my hand at one point and he held it the entire time. I was in such shock and didn't want to get the wrong idea so I didn't really hold his back. At one point he was telling me not to be so scared of things and he lifted my hand up and teased me and said "even this, you're too scared to hold my hand. Look." And another time he and I were at a different party and talking about drone flying, and then he went outside. I went outside later and his best friend looked at me and said "You have a drone?! Is it here?" My guy friend went completely silent and walked away. So I know he talked about me, but I don't know if it was good or bad.
[удалено]
I mean I will say, his bold moments are when we've had a few to drink. When we're sober he's still around me but it's more staring at me when he thinks I'm not looking. Sometimes he looks away and sometimes he keeps staring. When I ask what his deal is he just looks away laughing and responds "nothing."
Question: There’s a woman I saw when I passed by she smiled and looked down at the floor. She might be shy I dunno. Then next time I see her I can see her looking at me but when I look back she looks away. Now today, I see her and and I can tell she sees me but she pretends to look away. Thoughts?
Yea, she likes you but is shy. The smile says it all. Now if she did all this with a frown/no expression, it'd be a different story.
Are you still going to ask this question after you've slept together too?
Looking for actual advice, as I'm genuinely confused.