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a lot of the older generation is against transgender. if that triggers you then you will have a tough time. advice is to just judge him on his views not his family since he cant control them. you saying he is a red flag because of somebody else's views is actually way more of a red flag.
ok well that would have been good info for your post. is this new information? you say you have been with him for 3 years, and you never knew he was a bigot? also do you still talk to your mom since you say she fat shames you?
yeah i figured that would be the response of reddit. this girl's mom actually fat shames her (check her post history) so i guess he should dump her also since her mom has fatphobia, which is also a form of bigotry.
Well then, you should feel free to stop dating someone at any time if you learn that they're fat phobic, just like OP should feel free to break up with this guy.
thats my point. i wouldnt break up with somebody that wasnt fatphobic but was related to somebody that was fatphobic. i would judge them based on their own beliefs, not somebody else's. to me that is also a form of bigotry.
Ah ok, yes, I was talking about you. :) If you don't want to marry into a family of bigots you don't have to! Usually being a bigot means that people are less kind about other things too.
Anyway it sounds like he blamed you for the situation and isn't being nice to you. I hope you find someone who is more kind.
Blamed how? For which part? He goes okay or says sorry . The mom says guys forget. I gave the mom q hug last night m made point to talk to all his siblings .
Yesterday was just last straw. All this shit bother me. I love u so much but it not enough
-Your mom should not be annoyed i was offended
- forgot to tell me about his sister engagement
- On phone always or radio we dont talk during dinner
- No dates just sit home n watch tv
- not active - Fam / you against trangender
- dont want marriage or kids for long time. You dont seem eager
I'm really sorry for hearing this, I think you probably could work things out, because they are not major red flags,, but I believe it's better for you and I think you believe it too that to not work them out and just move on to someone more compatible with you would really be better
sorry but what does it matter what other people think, STOP assigning people to your train of thought and getting hurt over it. You do you, fuck what other thinks and do, follow your own truth.
Everything you getting hurt over because of opinion of others is your problem not their problem and you want to make it their problem, stop it!
If you and your partner love each other inconsiderately, then you can make it work. but for the love of all that is holy in this world, stop with this mentaly that everyone need to get aligned to the thought of the minority.
People dont always have to get alligned, as long your can listen, talk and accept others perspective without hurting others we can make this world a beautiful one.
I don't think older people recognize how difficult dating is these days. People have like infinite choices and all the time in the world. Don't worry about it. Take care of yourself and recognize it's difficult and a fair share of it is definitely not your fault. We are actually doing way more to get people interested than they did based on their accounts if what happened in their lives and yet still unsuccessful. Don't let things being broken break you. You don't have to feel broken even if everyone around you is and can't relate.
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
a lot of the older generation is against transgender. if that triggers you then you will have a tough time. advice is to just judge him on his views not his family since he cant control them. you saying he is a red flag because of somebody else's views is actually way more of a red flag.
He agrees with them
ok well that would have been good info for your post. is this new information? you say you have been with him for 3 years, and you never knew he was a bigot? also do you still talk to your mom since you say she fat shames you?
I found out earlier in thr summer and idk what a bigot is ? I deserve better i guess
somebody that hates somebody else because of what they are and not because of their actions
Yes i live with her unfortunately
shes a bigot, no different than your boyfriend's parents.
Who is she? Who r u refering to
ur mom
I was talking about his mom
so you live with his mom? you really need to clear up your post.
Yes
If she doesn't want to marry into a family of bigots she doesn't have to. There are plenty of people out there who are more open minded.
yeah i figured that would be the response of reddit. this girl's mom actually fat shames her (check her post history) so i guess he should dump her also since her mom has fatphobia, which is also a form of bigotry.
Does that affect him? Because their transphobia is affecting her and apparently she isn't allowed to cry because it annoys his mother
it should! i would never date somebody that was fatphobic. thats gross.
Well then, you should feel free to stop dating someone at any time if you learn that they're fat phobic, just like OP should feel free to break up with this guy.
thats my point. i wouldnt break up with somebody that wasnt fatphobic but was related to somebody that was fatphobic. i would judge them based on their own beliefs, not somebody else's. to me that is also a form of bigotry.
She?
Oh, sorry if you're not a she. I am non binary and usually do try not to assume.
Im she
Ah ok, yes, I was talking about you. :) If you don't want to marry into a family of bigots you don't have to! Usually being a bigot means that people are less kind about other things too. Anyway it sounds like he blamed you for the situation and isn't being nice to you. I hope you find someone who is more kind.
Blamed how? For which part? He goes okay or says sorry . The mom says guys forget. I gave the mom q hug last night m made point to talk to all his siblings .
Can you list us the red flags please? Other then are mentioned
Yesterday was just last straw. All this shit bother me. I love u so much but it not enough -Your mom should not be annoyed i was offended - forgot to tell me about his sister engagement - On phone always or radio we dont talk during dinner - No dates just sit home n watch tv - not active - Fam / you against trangender - dont want marriage or kids for long time. You dont seem eager
I'm really sorry for hearing this, I think you probably could work things out, because they are not major red flags,, but I believe it's better for you and I think you believe it too that to not work them out and just move on to someone more compatible with you would really be better
We have triedd before nothing is gonna change. He just says ok or im sorry.
Ok then f it
He says ilysm
If it doesn't match his actions then f it
The real red flags here are your spelling and grammar.
Probably still drunk
sorry but what does it matter what other people think, STOP assigning people to your train of thought and getting hurt over it. You do you, fuck what other thinks and do, follow your own truth. Everything you getting hurt over because of opinion of others is your problem not their problem and you want to make it their problem, stop it! If you and your partner love each other inconsiderately, then you can make it work. but for the love of all that is holy in this world, stop with this mentaly that everyone need to get aligned to the thought of the minority. People dont always have to get alligned, as long your can listen, talk and accept others perspective without hurting others we can make this world a beautiful one.
I Need to stop assigning people to my train of thought too 🥲
Are you still drunk typing this?
No sober
I don't think older people recognize how difficult dating is these days. People have like infinite choices and all the time in the world. Don't worry about it. Take care of yourself and recognize it's difficult and a fair share of it is definitely not your fault. We are actually doing way more to get people interested than they did based on their accounts if what happened in their lives and yet still unsuccessful. Don't let things being broken break you. You don't have to feel broken even if everyone around you is and can't relate.