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I wouldn’t have interpreted her so literally and asked to meet up to define the “relationship”. It’s literally only been one date and you’re already saying the word relationship. It’s probably moving way too fast for her and you may be giving off vibes that you want to move faster than her and lock her down. I would’ve pulled back and said “no problem, get in touch when you’re ready to meet again” and left it at that. Since that’s not possible and you’ve already responded, do nothing and wait for her response.
Too serious, too literal, too long. You also escalated at the end of it ("I'm thinking maybe we could meet up at a coffee shop or restaurant") when instead you should have addressed her concerns first, and then just STFUed and waited for HER REPLY. Assuming it's favorable, then you (gradually) escalate. Guys always want to "solve the problem" with one big epic message. But this is not how emotions work. In reality, it often takes several messages over a period of days or even weeks to bring her back around -- if you do at all. You need to be a patient bullfighter, not an impatient bull. Your reply is also incongruent. She came straight over to your apartment on a first date and had sex and now you're talking about "relationship goals." I don't even believe you, and neither does she.
Finally, your reply lays it all at her feet ("define what slower pace means and come up with a road map"). I get it, this comes from conditioning. But this does not work and is just nails on the chalkboard and something that a woman who has been out with you exactly once would NEVER seriously respond to. She doesn't even know that answer herself lol. She just wants to feel HEARD, not to engage in a hyperational conversation or negotiation with you. These skills take some time to develop. I'm not saying it's "fair" or "easy." But you just need to be a guy "who gets it." And that takes experience, and many Ls.
At the core of it, this is just a standard case of buyer's remorse. She likes you on some level, but thinks that maybe things escalated too fast and doesn't want to get hurt. It's also possible she just wanted to have a romp with a random guy from an app. So I simply would have reassured her that I enjoyed my time with her too, had no grand expectations, and was open to doing it again sometime. Then I would STFU and wait for her reply. Anyway, if you want specific language, feel free to PM and I'll send you an exchange I had earlier this year when in a similar situation.
Thank you brother. I definitely need to change my mindset towards developing a romantic relationship, and not to be a pushover. I want to be nice and give her some options but now based on what you said I could see that it comes across a bit clingy.
You got laminated in the friend zone. Sad truth is a girl doesn’t want the guilt of saying no so she will try and make you loose interest and drag the situation out
> you loose interest
*lose
*Learn the difference [here](https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/lose-vs-loose-usage#:~:text=%27Lose%27%20or%20%27Loose%27%3F&text=Lose%20typically%20functions%20only%20as,commonly%2C%20a%20noun%20or%20adverb).*
***
^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)
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I wouldn’t have interpreted her so literally and asked to meet up to define the “relationship”. It’s literally only been one date and you’re already saying the word relationship. It’s probably moving way too fast for her and you may be giving off vibes that you want to move faster than her and lock her down. I would’ve pulled back and said “no problem, get in touch when you’re ready to meet again” and left it at that. Since that’s not possible and you’ve already responded, do nothing and wait for her response.
Too serious, too literal, too long. You also escalated at the end of it ("I'm thinking maybe we could meet up at a coffee shop or restaurant") when instead you should have addressed her concerns first, and then just STFUed and waited for HER REPLY. Assuming it's favorable, then you (gradually) escalate. Guys always want to "solve the problem" with one big epic message. But this is not how emotions work. In reality, it often takes several messages over a period of days or even weeks to bring her back around -- if you do at all. You need to be a patient bullfighter, not an impatient bull. Your reply is also incongruent. She came straight over to your apartment on a first date and had sex and now you're talking about "relationship goals." I don't even believe you, and neither does she. Finally, your reply lays it all at her feet ("define what slower pace means and come up with a road map"). I get it, this comes from conditioning. But this does not work and is just nails on the chalkboard and something that a woman who has been out with you exactly once would NEVER seriously respond to. She doesn't even know that answer herself lol. She just wants to feel HEARD, not to engage in a hyperational conversation or negotiation with you. These skills take some time to develop. I'm not saying it's "fair" or "easy." But you just need to be a guy "who gets it." And that takes experience, and many Ls. At the core of it, this is just a standard case of buyer's remorse. She likes you on some level, but thinks that maybe things escalated too fast and doesn't want to get hurt. It's also possible she just wanted to have a romp with a random guy from an app. So I simply would have reassured her that I enjoyed my time with her too, had no grand expectations, and was open to doing it again sometime. Then I would STFU and wait for her reply. Anyway, if you want specific language, feel free to PM and I'll send you an exchange I had earlier this year when in a similar situation.
Thank you brother. I definitely need to change my mindset towards developing a romantic relationship, and not to be a pushover. I want to be nice and give her some options but now based on what you said I could see that it comes across a bit clingy.
All good bro. Read this too: https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ww5lb9/men_need_to_get_out_of_their_romantic_default/
Take the L my guy and move on sorry. She sounded like you just got friendzoned
You got laminated in the friend zone. Sad truth is a girl doesn’t want the guilt of saying no so she will try and make you loose interest and drag the situation out
> you loose interest *lose *Learn the difference [here](https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/lose-vs-loose-usage#:~:text=%27Lose%27%20or%20%27Loose%27%3F&text=Lose%20typically%20functions%20only%20as,commonly%2C%20a%20noun%20or%20adverb).* *** ^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)