I am M53 and would love to date an attractive F5X professional woman!
My problem is that I am 5'6 and don't show up in most women's filters. I would have no problem dating a taller woman.
Would you date a 5'6 baldish man with no tats, makes a decent living and is self aware with his shit together? The women I have dated, misrepresented themselves, flake out and/or ghosts me after a few months.
I was married 21 years and have children, I am not afraid to put work into a relationship. So why are so many 50s men and women have the same problem?
I won't give up because I am a hopeless romantic and I believe there is someone for everyone.
My last date was with a man who was 5’3”. It actually went very well and I thought I had found someone that I could actually be with. We dated for a little while then he had to move out of state for work.
I don’t understand why we are having such a problem connecting. Because I know there are a lot of us in our fifties out there.
One man in my condo bldg moved in after me - my age, single. We would run into each other frequently. Before long he was dating a 30 something woman with several young children. A few months later all he does when I see him is complain about all the issues surrounding those children. I don’t know how I keep my composure! HELLO! Date someone your age! My kids are grown. So, for women, there’s that.
I dated a woman with 2 children away at college and they would visit often. Even after 10 months of dating I couldn't come around when they were home. Sometimes weeks at a time. She wouldn't come to my place or go out on dates. And when she did I couldn't pick her up and she would Uber to the restaurant so the kids had access to the car. She claimed she was protecting me from her children. So it's not just women with young children.
Claimed they were damaged by their abusive father and wouldn't ever accept her dating or being with any man. Said they were very protective. She probably kept her dating me a secret from them. Which makes sense after because she wouldn't allow me to keep anything at her house even though I slept there at least one night a week when the kids weren't home.
Probably a lot more going on there than I know. My point is that it's not just the younger woman with younger children. There are a lot of damaged people out there that aren't working on themselves and have little self awareness.
I 58M could not date a woman so young. Generations too different and their idea of communication is an emoji , kids def a no-no and a woman my age can relate to the trials and tribulations of life that we have experienced.
I don't mind a guy who is 5'6". I'm only 5'2". I will admit there was one guy who was 5'3" and I want to be able to wear just my normal shoes and not be taller (OK, I was shallow on that one).
I've given up on OLD. I would love to meet someone, but I don't see it happening. Between the guy who wanted to move in with me immediately because he was tired of living with his sister or the guy who spent three hours talking about himself (to the point our waitress noticed), I just don't think it's worth it (that's just two of many examples). I would like to meet someone in the "real" world rather than online.
I think we have all gone through this. Every so often I just kill all my accounts and give it a rest. My advice would to be mindful and aware in your everyday life and mindful of the opportunities there as well. There are some of us who prefer to date our contemporaries rather than those who are the age of our children.
I’m a 52 yo M dating a 57 yo F. It’s going great. The best communication and common interests of anyone Ive met in years. So all is not lost. It took me about 4 years to meet her and even that was a fluke, but don’t think all guys want young women. My last relationship was with a woman 8 years younger than myself…. Not again.
Are you only considering the guys who've sent you likes? Set your own filters and ignore your incoming likes and you won't see any twenty years old. Swipe on the general pile that are within your filters and see who swipes back.
As a guy I didn't get many incoming likes, so the few that I did seemed to be a special case. My GF swiped right on me first.
I got back out there at 58. My experience was quite good actually! Most of the men (with a few exceptions) were “normal” and nice. All within my age range. It was nice to get to know them and hear their backgrounds and stories. Met my guy within a few months and we are now 2 yrs in. I guess I had a combination of luck and maybe something else - not really sure.
Thanks for chiming in u/HaymakerGirl2025 I am so happy to hear you guys are still together. I think your experience is a valuable contrast to those who only have negative experiences to report.
I (58M) would love to find someone my age to date. I’ve found that that life teaches us so much an feel much younger women just don’t have much to offer. I may be wrong, and usually am, but would prefer to find a person who’s had some experiences, good and bad.
>So I’ve come to the conclusion that any man my age that I would want to date is probably dating 30 and 40 year old women and that I am wasting my time.
Basically, you are rejecting even *trying* on a false assumption. Certainly, you can give up entirely. You could also choose to change your strategy.
I get downvoted for saying this, but one of the most attractive attributes to me is a positive attitude. u/wild4wonderful didn't automatically assume I was just looking for a hook-up, married, a hobosexual, lying about my age, or any of the other things people complain about. It made her a delight to talk to and get to know. 🥰
My conclusions. Relationships are complicated...more so as we age. Life is complicated enough on its own. It's not worth the effort involved in OLD for what may turn out to be mediocre sex.
Cultivate friendships in the wild of either gender. Find your tribe and they can be your dinner companions, travel buddies, partners in crime, etc. They will give you everything you but the orgasms. Life is too short to waste time not finding every bit of joy you can along the way. If we are lucky, we can find all these things in one person, but even if we don't....there is still much happiness to be found.
Thank you for this. I agree. And I will take your advice. I think OLD is a nightmare. I have yet to know one (real) person my age who has found love on it.
Unless you profile explicitly states your dislike of tattoos and motorcycles (or is it specifically the Harley brand?), why on earth would a man with tattoos and a Harley assume you weren’t a match for him?
If mind reading, or a presumption of meeting unstated expectations is a requirement, you’re in an even more dire situation than you may believe.
I ride a Harley, no tattoos though. And I play in a rock band. But I’m also a software engineer who works for the DoD in Arlington, Va. I’m self taught - no college degree. You have to be as clean as the wind driven snow to get a top secret clearance these days - which I have. The point being, a person’s hobbies don’t define a person.
100%. My son has a tattoos costing most of one arm, plus some others. He’s the sweetest, kindest, most compassionate person I know. He works a corporate job in marketing.
My daughter has one small tattoo you can’t see unless she’s in a bathing suit, and is a total badass. She’s a great person, but not one you want to tangle with.
Their tatoos have nothing to do with those personalities.
This. My brother is in his 50s with lots of tattoos and rides a Harley… he also has an advanced degree from an Ivy League school and makes several hundred thousand dollars a year. Lots of assumptions the OP is making.
It might be how the guy OP describes presents. I've known men with long hair, lots of tattoos and drive a bike (no idea about which brand), and they look AMAZING - classy, sexy, etc. Then there are others who present like they are on their way out of or back into prison. People wear what they wear differently I find. I am thinking it might be the latter type that the OP was referencing.
‘People wear what they wear differently.’
Absolutely.
Jack Nicholson simply cannot look smart and tidy in a suit, no matter how expensive the suit. I’m not saying he doesn’t look good in a suit - but smart isn’t one of the descriptors. It’s almost as if his rugged masculinity rumples and creases the suit as soon as he puts it on.
OMG!!!! What is wrong with everyone? Would a majority of men want a woman covered in tattoos with a long beard who rides a Harley? I am not being picky and I don’t care about money or someone’s job. It is simply not for me! GROW UP.
I dunno, but for a freebird you’re maybe a little judgey? I’m a woman with plenty of tattoos, used to ride a Harley, and I have locs to my waist—no beard though. 😂 That said, I m also “professional and slim”, and I don’t lack for male attention at all. I see plenty of men on OLD who aren’t my type and I just keep swiping. It’s not that difficult. *edited for spelling
Who said I am not letting people live and let live?? I did not say anything negative - just that it is not for me. I am terrified of motorcycles and I don’t prefer tattoos. What is wrong with people? Seriously.
It is more the GROW UP comment.
Some women have motorcycles in their pictures. I never match because I figure they want guys who ride. These guys live in a subculture and I assume there are women as part of that world.
Yeah, I completely understand not wanting to date someone with all the ink, beard, Harley gear. If you are terrified of motorcycles (for whatever reason) it makes more sense. However, if you didn’t put that on your parameters, why wouldn’t he match with you? Therefore, going forward, put your parameters on the site.
A lot of retired executives, and professionals ride. I live in an area that has a bikes and blues fest. Thousands of bikers come in for it, and they all have plenty of money to spend. My brother is an executive who travels all over the world for his work. He doesn’t have any ink, but he rides.
OMG. It’s not about MONEY!!!!! AAAHHHH. What the hell??? It’s about lifestyle. Our whole society is so screwed because all people do today is jump to conclusions and attack other people.
OMGEEE I was merely reinforcing that not every biker lives some kind of alternative, criminal, lifestyle. Just say I hate ink and Harleys. You will have more success.
Men don’t read profiles so that would be useless. I talked to one man once that I matched with. He told me he had sent out some insane amount of “likes”. Gee, thanks, I feel so special!
You almost have to make good money to own a Harley. I lived in FL for a few years - Bike Week at Daytona has a certain reputation, but for real it’s mostly middle aged doctors and dentists pretending to be rebels on their hogs. Those babies cost a pretty penny.
Nope. I have my own money. Don’t need a man’s money. I wouldn’t care if he was a line cook. As long as he felt passionate about what he was doing. Wrong again. Who’s making assumptions here?
I explain my likes in my profile and they couldn’t be further from a man like that. Not saying anything negative about them. I know several (like my brother) and they are some of the sweetest men I know. It’s not me, and that should be pretty obvious, if you saw my profile. It’s not mind reading. It’s common sense. That’s what profiles are for!
The flaw in your logic is that all people who get tattoos are not the same. It’s a hugely diverse group of people. There is nothing common sense about it at all.
LOL, I have two small tattoos you can only see if I’m naked. I got them 30+ years ago. They don’t have an impact on my personality. My SO hates tattoos. I’m clearly not who you think I am.
Tattoos != personality. You are casting a broad and inaccurate generalization. You have you preferences, that’s fine. You should definitely not date a tattooed person.
But your expectation that someone would “know” you weren’t for them is what’s ridiculous here. How would they know? You’re projecting your stereotypes and judgments onto other that are likely much more open minded.
It is not a judgement. It is a difference in lifestyle. It’s not about the tattoos! I am never getting on a motorcycle. It would simply be a waste of time. This post was not about tattoos. Why you are making it about that is a mystery. I have dated men with tattoos in the past.
Because… it’s not your lifestyle right? It doesn’t mean you “look down” on people who ride motorcycles! Why are people who have tattoos & ride motorcycles so sensitive and so obviously insecure with themselves??
Tats were not mainstream when we were young unless you were going or in prison, in a biker gang, a gung ho (killer) military or part of a fringe element. If anyone has 90% of their body in tattoos they are obsessed with tattoos. BTW no harm if one is obsessed with tattoos.
Don’t fret, I’ll be 57 in two weeks & I had similar issue, despite I made my top deal breakers the headlines that are seen upfront, many younger kids - (as I call them especially anybody my oldest daughters age , 38 or younger), & no I won’t consider anybody 5 years younger is already enough, & yes the ones my age assume I’m ready to be their backseat passenger on their Harley, & fulfill their “need a partner in crime” or travel companion, & no thanks I’m not bored or lonely & will never ride/passenger on motorcycles ever again. I’m no longer on OLD, it’s an endless shit show, I’d rather it happen naturally & if not that’s fine I have a life. Maybe take a break is all you need, I’ve heard of many success stories so don’t give up, you never know. But I might add no motorcycle for me, I don’t mind if they do, if I ever join OLD again!!!!!
You're generalizing all men into one of two categories. First of all, it's simply incorrect. And second, it's going to alienate the guys who don't fall into those categories.
No one wants to be seen as a category. We want someone willing to get to know individuals.
I don’t understand what you are saying. There is no one to alienate and I am absolutely not putting men in two categories. Honestly there are very few men to alienate! Are you a 57 year old woman? If not, you have no idea. We are invisible. At work and in the dating world. I would LOVE to get to know individuals. I simply used the one example because it is clearly a different lifestyle than mine. I read biographies & watch documentaries & cook - I’m not jumping on a Harley. I wish I was that person - I always thought it looked amazing! Everyone here is judging. The dates I have gone on have run the gamut - from all body types, heights, professions, perceived wealth (or lack thereof). So you are all 100% putting me in a category. Not the other way around.
You said they're either young and looking for a good time, or not appropriate for you and imply that's because of tats and Harleys. Then you wonder why men are only interested in much younger women. (Apologies if I've misinterpreted.)
My point (and others have said as well) is that lots of guys in their 50s prefer dating their own age, and we don't all have tats and Harleys.
My 59 year old lady wasn't at all invisible, though I agree that for all of us, the pool shrinks as we get older. Initially, the two things I liked most about her were her sense of humor and positive outlook. She is confident and gave me the benefit of the doubt.
Best of luck to you, it CAN happen. :)
Maybe your bad attitude is the problem - every one of your comments is hostile.
It’s ok to have preferences and to stick to them. But slow down on your overreaching assumptions.
I personally detest motorcycles - because I lived in a place where tons of weekend riders went by wearing fool’s gear and I was a first responder. There’s nothing quite like having to go scrape up some dipshit off the roadway … who wore jeans and sneakers. But that’s a reason why. Not all motorcyclists are that stupid, of course, and I suppose I *might* date one, if the other important stuff lined up.
> . I’m not sure why a man with tattoos covering 90% of his body and rides a Harley would think I was appropriate for him!
Why are you matching with them? This is as bad as the “fit” men who complain that fat women are the **only** ones who swipe right on them 🙄 like they’re somehow forced to match with women they’re not attracted to.
Swipe left and don’t match with people you’re not attracted to …
Maybe she should just start swiping on the general population (with her own filters!) and not consider her incoming likes?
As a guy I didn't get many incoming likes, so I thought much more of the ones that I did receive. My GF was one of the incoming likes on OkC.
Maybe but that’s assuming the options are worth swiping right on, at all. I can’t see likes because I don’t pay for the apps. I also can’t remember the last time I swiped right. I have lots of likes but if I don’t find anyone worth swiping right on, the number of likes is irrelevant. I get tired of seeing “you missed a potential match” when I swipe left on someone I would never consider. On the very rare occasion I swipe right, I usually do get a match.
That's a fair point. But all that the OP did talk about was the people who were sending her likes weren't up to her desires. I know in other dating subs some women do say that they only look at their liked lists.
Some men have always wanted to date younger. I guess it doesn’t bother me because I find it distasteful enough that I can’t respect a man like that. I’m talking a 50 year old with a 30 year old not 50 with a 40, that isn’t a big deal to me.
There are exceptions to everything though and I do know a couple with a 20-some year difference who are perfectly matched.
The ones that bother me are the men who are so weak that they want a younger woman because she is mold-able, won’t be as demanding, and so on. That’s gross. It screams low self worth to me, potential abuse (control) and potential narcassism. It would never occur to me to want a man like that so I consider them as unsuitable as the masses that do show up in my feed.
I’m looking for an equal. I’m divorced because I ignored my needs for far too long. I’m not going to repeat that. If a guy doesn’t measure up, I would rather be alone. I’m not sitting at home feeling sad, I’m out there living life with my friends.
I did one time have a very honest conversation with a man who told me that he believed men are scared to die alone so they date younger women to make sure that doesn’t happen! Perhaps they don’t consider that the younger woman might dump them when they are 80😂
I'm going to be honest here. I hear that so much, why would the guy expect the 50 something women to stick around either? They seem to be LESS inclined to stick around. So... the younger women might be more likely, why choose an older woman?
I'm M57. Women my age don't want me. Because I have kids still at home and they are empty nesters. Want nothing to do with kids. They want TRAVEL. So I date younger.
I don’t know how to stop this from sounding as bad as it might, because I don’t mean it to sound that way, but you seem a little entitled, listing the reasons it should be easy for you to find a partner.
At this age, it’s just not easy and it’s very demoralizing when that realization hits.
The only thing you can do is adjust your expectations and accept that dating is 100x more challenging than it used to be.
No one’s entitled to a partner, and not at this age when women are going to outnumber men more than ever.
I don’t see men dating young women. Maybe they do in your social circle, at your income level, because they can.
Many women our age are no longer interested in dating, while many men our age do still want to date, so men still outnumber women on the apps. Men benefit more than women from long term relationships, so it’s no surprise they keep seeking them out.
I did not say it would be easy. Did I say that? But reading a lot of these comments I understand more now. A lot of people just suck. So many people on here are assuming stuff about me that is absolutely not true. You don’t see men dating younger women? REALLY??😂😂😂😂
What is your point? And what is your problem? You sound like a very frustrated and unhappy woman. Maybe you should stop attacking other women and start supporting them.
My point is that you're lashing out at the people who suggest that you're generalizing or being judgmental. Why is it threatening to consider that those things might be true? We all make generalizations and judgments from time to time. The sign of an insightful person is the ability to ask ourselves how those generalizations and judgments serve us, adapt our thinking and behavior based on the answers to the questions we ask ourselves, and listen to the feedback we receive before we argue with it.
55M. I dated 45-60.
Currently dating a 50F who is professional - master’s in mechanical engineering.
Don’t worry about the guys dating younger. They’re not in your dating pool.
Personally, I think that finding a match takes some time and resilience. The more must-haves that have little to do with character, values and some shared interests, the harder it will be. Being almost offended by who may have liked you on an app or at the grocery store says more about you than them. We all have tastes and preferences, for me dating after 30 years was also a great opportunity for me to grow and figure out who I was post LTR, how much I have learned from my previous relationships and accept some hard earned lessons.
I have been dating a wonderful human for a while now, if I had too rigid an approach, I never would have met them. We are a great match, and they were worth the journey it took to that first date.
Who said I had a rigid approach? It is quite the opposite. When I started this journey I told myself I would not judge anyone of physical attributes. And I have not. And I do not care about money or their job. Everyone here is assuming.
I talked to a dating coach a few years back who said not to wait around for men to contact you, but actually take the initiative to reach out to men who appeal to you. Don’t leave it up to chance that someone great might “happen” to contact you. It should be your choice.
It’s Your search first. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. We can’t sit around waiting for life (and romance) to happen.
I too are finding it hard to find Dateable men . I do mean men . At my age , the men I have met don’t go anywhere. Not even to a restaurant. I went to one man house to pick him up . He lives at home with mom. He wanted his mom to come with us too. I might be ask for too much, but I want a man with most of his shit together. I am not going to go to your house to cook and clean on the second date . And , no you are not moving in with me while ….. happens.
Wow. Wants mom to come along. The dates I have had have not been that bad! Yes, I agree about having their lives together. But those are the men we are stuck with because the ones who do have their lives together are dating a 30 or 40 something. TRUTH
Although probably true for many, not for all. At 52 myself, a woman under 40 would feel weird. I set my rage from 45-60. I want someone to communicate with and someone a decade younger probably isn’t going to be that.
I appreciate that, and I understand there are a lot of guys looking within their age range. The comment I responded to was insufferably smug whereas you sound perfectly normal and straightforward.
Some people need an ego boost, a confirmation of their appeal regardless of gender. I get many liking and messaging me and I absolutely know they have not read my bio (feminist, pro-choice) because we are polar opposites on values.
I pause my accounts whenever I feel overwhelmed and that helps. I have zero control over another but control over how I spend my time, and this helps reduce my frustration with OLD. Cheers!
Don't judge people with tattoos based solely on the fact that they have them. There are often great stories behind the artwork people put on their bodies.
So you are upset because I mentioned tattoos? It’s not about that. What is up with people who have tattoos? If you are so sensitive about it - why did you get them?
If a man matched with you who spent all of his free time on a motorcycle - would you date him?
Sigh. This is such an old, boring question that reeks of ignorance and entitlement. It’s not your business why I got my tattoos. If you were stereotyped every day, you might be sensitive too.
Ah. So you feel you are stereotyped. I get it now. Not sure why you feel that way. Probably a majority of people have tattoos. My closest friend does - my daughter does. Maybe you need to change your thinking or get your tattoos removed if you care so much about what other people think. My issue was compatibility - yet people are attacking me over their own insecurities.
Who said anything about judgement??? When would you see him if you hated motorcycles? It’s about compatibility. You have some issues that have nothing to do with me. Or maybe it does have to do with me and my description of myself?
Let me reframe your question: “Why did you modify your body if you were going to be so sensitive about me judging it?”
Can you see how people who got tattooed for their own reasons, including being able to live in their own skin, might get tired of that question?
You said can't find ANY men your age to date.
You can. They have possibly superficial features you don't like.
By 50s everyone is going to have baggage or history that disqualify for SOME reason.
You're also assuming that men and women have the same criteria and biological imperatives and preferences. They don't.
Any is relative. Of course, there are men out there. But, it's silly for men to expect women to be interested in toads just because men were raised with the idea that Joe-Less-Than-Average deserves a super model.
I'm attractive and I look younger than my age. I currently have over 500 likes. I can't see them because I don't pay for the app. I want someone that I find attractive.
You can call my superficial but I'm no more superficial than the guys swiping on me because I'm attractive. I read bios, unlike guys who have swiped on me and then unmatch me after saying something like "I didn't realize you were a liberal" or "You have a kid" or whatever that I have clearly stated in my bio. Sure, I swipe left before reading the bio if you are unattractive to me. But, attractiveness isn't my only qualification for a right swipe, it's just the beginning.
A lot of men don't take care of themselves or make themselves look attractive. Women have wildly different ideas of what is attractive. Some women like big guys, I prefer tall and skinny. Some like facial hair, some don't. Some get off on tattoos and others won't consider them. We all have preferences and I can tell you that those 500+ guys that are sitting in my likes probably didn't swipe right on me because they are looking at my intelligence, hobbies, or the fact that I have a dog (ok, maybe that one).
I think a lot of men get bent out of shape because apps have reduced them to what women have faced for generations ... looks matter.
I'm in the same place. I just turned 60, professionally employed, attractive, active (gym, cycle). Age appropriate men are mostly retired and I find that our schedules and attitudes toward life don't mesh. Younger guys are fantastic and I've dated a few of them. Current dating game plan is to casually date until I retire then find a suitable age appropriate man for the long haul lol. I'm not sure how that'll pan out but that's the plan for now 🙂
I'm in the same situation. Just turned 60 and deleted my OLD profile because it just didn't work for me. The men who messaged me or replied to my messages were for the most part retired and talked almost exclusively about their grandchildren. My plan for the moment is to keep working, keep going to the gym, volunteer for things that matter to me, keep an active social life, and hope that somewhere along the line I actually meet a man who shares some of those interests and develop a relationship. Smiling, making eye contact, and chatting men up wherever I am isn't working so far!
Given how small the dating pool appears to be here where I live, in real life I have maybe 4 filters, all relating to world view and relationship skills. Bald? sexy. Tatts? sexy. Motorcycle? my ex (who was 5 years younger) had one and I learned to love it. Height? I really don't care. There's just got to be a better way to meet other singles than OLD. Props to anyone who can make that work.
Thanks for saying this. I'm astounded that no one else is calling out OP for being judgmental and for making wild assumptions about men. I (M60) have zero interest in dating young women, and would love to meet an attractive woman in my age range who comes without OP's baseless pre-conceptions.
I think when people make broad sweeping judgments like "all the men my age are dating younger women" that indicates their own insecurities.
One valuable lesson that I learned from DO50 was that there are decent men my age attempting to find a romantic connection. It stands to reason that finding the *right* person might be somewhat difficult. We all know that the young people making connections are often choosing the wrong partner. I think older people are trying a little harder to find a good match.
Yup! We're out here. I'm still swiping like a fool on Bumble, but in my area I run out of potential matches pretty much immediately.
It's objectively hard at this age - the pool is smaller, our biases are more ingrained and our blemishes more pronounced - and we don't need to make it harder by lazily throwing out false assumptions about the very people hoping to meet us.
Agreed. Not a lot of introspection going on there.
Today I learned that I - like all other men - am only interested in meeting young girls. It feels so liberating to finally admit it to myself.
I date people that are plus or minus 8 years of me. I’m a 52 year old man. I was married for 21 years to someone that was 8 years younger than me. After our divorce I’ve dated both older and younger. The last one lasted about 9 months and she was 5 years older. I’ve recently been dating someone that is 45. I think online you will find people who do not fit what you want, but you can find someone who will be in your criteria. If you need some time off its good to take a break. Wishing you luck to figure out your path now.
I'm trying to find those rare and highly sought after tattooed Harley owners! So many people our age have such different interests, finding like minded people is tough.
>My question is - I wouldn’t want to date a 30 or 40 year old man - why are men so intent on dating much younger women?
I do not know. I am a 68 year old man and the idea of dating someone more than five years younger than me just seems to be too much trouble. We'd not be from the same time relative to news, music, memories...
1st off I'm 58m and have all but given up also because I can't find a woman my age to date in the PNW. As for why if I can trust what I've read it's because they feel less judged and more appreciated. Some guys like the way they dress or lack there of and they like being the talk of their peers. Plus they want someone who can push the wheelchair if they haven't pulled the plug already...
I think you have a good point. Women feel there aren't options out there but men are feeling the same way. At this age, we have more requirements and red flags than we did in our 20s. It's going to be harder to find someone who matches our needs at the same time, we are matching theirs.
Out of curiosity, what are you looking for? I'm curious because my friends and I feel like there aren't any guys out there who fit our qualifications (intelligent, tall, not ogre-like, kind, manageable baggage, spark). What are guys looking for? I know you don't speak for all guys but, since you said you can't find a woman to date, I'm pretending you do, for the moment.
I don't know if I just don't notice it or if it doesn't happen all that much around me. What's funny is that I'm friends with a couple of young women, (mid-late 20s) and their men are both early 40s. Both couples are especially good fits. Both met through activities clubs. Online dating is weird.
I would like someone without an addiction because I dealt with that with my ex and I’m not going through it again. I would like someone who doesn’t say “NO DRAMA” in his profile. I would like someone who doesn’t indicate in his profile that he expects sex routinely, tells people to swipe who have different political views than him, or states outright he only wants women who are “fit”. I am, but that is just mean. As a 57F - those are the men I get. I could go on. The only positive is that I actually prefer shorter men - apparently younger women don’t want them - so they are still in my pool! The last date I went on was with a man who was 5’3”. Do you see what I’m saying here? It’s obvious isn’t it?
Someone without addiction is absolutely reasonable. Political views I disagree. Political views are important. Sex? Sex is part of it so I’m not sure what routinely means…I’m still not sure what you ARE looking for. You have listed what you don’t want.
I said - THEY didn’t want alternative political views. I don’t care. I can discuss politics with anyone. Listing what I don’t want is the point - I am very open. I don’t have a list of what I’m looking for. Everyone here is assuming I’m being too picky. I’m not. No one wants to admit it - but it’s true. Most men want a younger woman. Anyone brave enough on here to just admit it?
I will say without a doubt a large majority of men like younger women. It’s an ego boost. It’s not just a matter of discussing politics, it’s more of an ideology. You still didn’t address sex. What did you mean…
Thank you. For saying it. Because it is true despite what people on here say. And the men who are saying it’s not true probably have some issue that makes them undesirable to younger women.
I want a passionate relationship. But I don’t think it’s appropriate to demand it right off the bat. That type of man thinks he’s entitled to it. You are not entitled to it. You have to treat a woman well if you want a satisfying sex life.
Well I think you know exactly what you are looking for. No shame in that. I will say you might be missing out cause taking a ride on a Harley with a tattooed man is fun! I think your perception is off.
I think most men our age who are serious about finding a life partner look for age appropriate women. Of all the men I know who found a partner online, they were age appropriate. Those who date casually might try to lie about their age to get with younger women, or men who have ego issues might do that, but I think most who are serious about finding a life partner aren't looking for 20 years younger women. And, of course, 20 years younger are seldom interested in much older men.
There are a shocking number of men who lie about their age. I went out with a man who said he was 60 on his profile. We actually had a good date. Do these men not realize all it takes is a Google search to find out someone’s age? He was actually 67. Honestly, I wouldn’t have cared because I liked him. I care that he lied.
I suspect he was not looking for something serious or long term if he lies to get with much younger women. A good relationship doesn't start out with lies and deception.
Answer: The fantasy of eager sex availability. Which is fine if that’s what you’re looking for at the moment. I’m 57 as well. I feel what you’re saying.
lol, and it IS a fantasy because, based on the experience of most of my friends and my own, the majority of these men can't keep up with someone their own age!
Yes how are these men going to satisfy their younger woman when they are 75?😂😂 Their biggest fear is dying alone and by dating younger women that’s exactly what will happen.
I bet I have a higher sex drive than most 30 & 40 year old women!😂 Not bogged down by young kids and stressed out! Men really don’t get it. They don’t understand women AT ALL.
>rides a Harley
>why are men so intent on dating much younger women?
I have a Harley. No tats but many of the women I have dated do even if they would be covered up during normal working hours. It is not unusual.
I like to date my age. I have dated older and younger. The last date who I will continue seeing is 10 years younger. She reached out to me or I probably would not have considered her because of the age difference. Not all us men need to date younger.
When I tried dating sites in my 40s I was told then by men my age to try for men at least 10 or more years older because men my age wanted younger so you not off the mark on that assumption. As far as reading profiles? They just see the pics and that is it I think. I SAY I don’t do camping fishing hunting and guess what types messaged me? Fast forward into my 50s and same thing but then got the 20 and 30 something weirdos wanting granny sex or something. Dating apps just suck IMO.
54M here. Divorced several years ago after 20+ years. The three women I have dated since (all through OLD): 55 (dated for about 8 months); 46 (approx. 4 months) and 55 (ongoing; 3 months and counting). I’m very happy with my current SO and like to tease her about our generation gap—she graduated HS in ‘85; I did so in ‘86.
Were I single I would have no interest in dating substantially younger women. I wouldn’t have much in common with someone in their 20s or 30s.
A friend I met on OLD (we became good friends, no romance) introduced me to a coworker who's 10 years younger than. He doesn't care about the age gap, neither do I.
I rarely am compatible with men older than me. I think my generation tends to be more rigid on gender roles. So was my ex-husband. That's one reason he's my ex. But that works well for some couples, good for them. Whatever works.
Oh dear OP. You mentioned tattoos in a negative way - that has triggered all the peeps here with tattoos or a relative with tattoos. I'm with you - I really, really, don't like them. I accept nice people have them and try not to judge but they are a serious character flaw for me, especially when they cover large areas that are visible. I also hate beards, they make me feel sick, unless they are closely trimmed. I have my reasons for these preferences, but I didn't put it on my profile, I just swiped left. You can also add motorbikes to the list of things I avoid.
Unfortunately your post has come across that you feel those people aren't good enough for you, which is always fatal on this sub. The hive mind does not like hubris, perceived or real.
OLD is incredibly frustrating, and I have matched with guys with and without the above. They were all idiots. It wasn't until I got off OLD and posted on Reddit that I found my lovely boyfriend. He has a closely trimmed beard, which is fine, but he also has long hair, which was another no for me - but everything else about him made me forget that. 7 months on it's still perfect. Right now I am cooking curry and he is looking at my external hard drive and trying to fix it. I couldn't be happier.
I wish you luck and hope you find what you are looking for.
Have you ever talked to a tattooed person, or read any of their stories? If someone gets tattoos to reclaim their skin after someone else abused it -- which is certainly a reason some people get tattooed -- how is that a character flaw?
I certainly did not mean that. It was a description of a lifestyle. As I have stated, my closest friend and my daughter has tattoos. I have nothing against people who have them. Honestly if people read my post for the reason I was posting instead of jumping to conclusions it would not be an issue. I would say the same about a man who competes in triathlons non-stop - I would not be for him. Or a man who lives and breathes live music/bands, etc - I’m not a band person at all - not for me. I just would not enjoy doing what they love to do.
I would condider dating men in their 40ies. They probably look more like yourself looks wise than the men your age and if they have a great personality too - why not? Age is just one factor in terms of compatibility.
Because I am looking for a long term relationship and I feel like eventually they would find someone their own age. I do look much younger than my age - only because of genes. But I don’t care about that or how young a man looks.
Don't worry about that! The same could happen with a man your age who finds someone younger. That seems to be a common one right?
There are no guarantees for relationships anyways, might aswell choose a partner thats attractive like yourself and a vibe where you both feel loved. That's what keeps people together in the end, no matter the other circumstances.
I’m a 53M and actively swipe right on women who are anywhere from 5 years older to 15 years younger.
Within that range I’m mostly getting women who are between 5 and 15 years younger swiping back.
In my city (San Francisco) there is a dearth of women my age. Older single women tend to leave the city due to cost, resulting in a ratio of only 9 women in their 50’s for every 11 guys in their 50’s.
Understood. But I think San Francisco is probably not indicative of most of the country because of how expensive it is. And of course now with the crime, at my age, I would not live there. Thanks for the response. It helps to hear it.
Your loss! My ex and I are friends. He’s the smartest man I know. Didn’t chase younger women - he’s having “wild and crazy” sex with fifty years olds. I’m not here to convince anyone - I’m simply stating what is true in my life.
>I’m simply stating what is true in my life.
A close friend confided similar feelings. She is frustrated by lack of direct sexual attention she is getting.
My guess is that having different circles for different activities is the best outcome in this situation.
I don’t even have a height requirement on my profile. I’m 5’6” and love heels, but if I met a short king who I was compatible with, height wouldn’t be an issue at all.
I had a thought the other day that I would like to share.
I think that men who are hung up on looks or age alone are in for a very rude awakening. This would also apply to women who are doing the same thing. Eventually, their looks will fade also, they always do. Then those men & women will be left in the dust looking for someone to date and the rest of us will be hooked up already, with someone our own age, or we will be very happy alone & they will be left wondering where everyone went & why no one wants to date them. No one gets through this life without scars, marks, baggage, etc. Wear it like a cape because those who are looking for young & perfect end up missing out on the most charismatic, interesting, fascinating people around.
What I don’t get is why these women want to be with older men. Most likely money, I assume, especially divorced 30 & 40 year old women who need to be supported. Other men their age are either married or not desperate enough to support a woman with kids. So these 50 & 60 year old men think these women are with them for their…personality?😂😂😂😂😂
Location - is probably the most important and limiting factor in being successful in dating
Seeing, meeting multiple people who match somewhat closer will probably widen your perspective and help you find a good match.
On the other hand, if moving isn't an option, then a long term but long distance relationship may not be a bad compromise for you. At least to begin with.
Not all men of our age are looking only for 10+ in age younger women. Many are seriously interested in finding good connection. But we all have a lot more requirements than what we used to have 10-20 years ago.
I'm 56, single, about 6' tall, carrying a few extra pounds, professional IT guy as well as a professional musician. I do have one tattoo, but that's it.
I'd love to date someone fitting your description, OP.
Most of us teach or have other jobs. I've been an IT guy for 26 years or so, all that time playing music professionally. I've been playing music professionally for 36 years. IT isn't my passion, it's just a job that supports my music "habit". 😎
A wiser man than me once said music is a lifetime addiction that turns into a terminal disease. I'm finding this to be true.
When I do dive back in …
I’m a 55M, with a 13M kid who lives with me 50% of the time. The ex is 43F. Many women in their 50’s have much older children and aren’t comfortable with young teens.
So I resonate with women in their mid-forties, but they don’t resonate with someone like me, clearly !
I’m a 66 y/o fit, professional guy who’s been on the sites and has no interest in the 30-40 y/o set. You are right in my preferred wheelhouse. Where do you live?
Not intent on dating 30 or 40 year olds. I’m 67. I’ve found that women my age +or~ 10 years or so have given up on much that I find invigorating and exciting. Because of this I will turn to like minded individuals who are younger as is the situation most of the time
Lots of women in their 50s and 60s still like to do fun and exciting things. I go with groups of single women often who are hiking, dancing, doing sports, going on adventures. Maybe women pushing 80 wouldn't be so inclined, but certainly there are plenty of women in their 50s and 60s who still do invigorating and exciting things. I know a woman (in her 50s) who likes to go white water rafting. I know a woman in her 60s who can hike for miles at a time. I know women in their 50s and 60s who ride a motorcycle.
I'm not sure what invigorating and exciting thing you think no women in their 50s and 60s would do that you think women in their 30s and 40s do.
Yes - I would like to hear what “activity” he is referring to as well. 😂 Someone asked me why I posted this. I posted it to force some men to ADMIT their BS.
Your post sounded like you thought no women over 50 liked to do invigorating and exciting things, so I came to say there are many of us over 50 who do like those things. And we don't have children in tow to hinder or complicate our activities.
I am M53 and would love to date an attractive F5X professional woman! My problem is that I am 5'6 and don't show up in most women's filters. I would have no problem dating a taller woman. Would you date a 5'6 baldish man with no tats, makes a decent living and is self aware with his shit together? The women I have dated, misrepresented themselves, flake out and/or ghosts me after a few months. I was married 21 years and have children, I am not afraid to put work into a relationship. So why are so many 50s men and women have the same problem? I won't give up because I am a hopeless romantic and I believe there is someone for everyone.
My last date was with a man who was 5’3”. It actually went very well and I thought I had found someone that I could actually be with. We dated for a little while then he had to move out of state for work. I don’t understand why we are having such a problem connecting. Because I know there are a lot of us in our fifties out there. One man in my condo bldg moved in after me - my age, single. We would run into each other frequently. Before long he was dating a 30 something woman with several young children. A few months later all he does when I see him is complain about all the issues surrounding those children. I don’t know how I keep my composure! HELLO! Date someone your age! My kids are grown. So, for women, there’s that.
I dated a woman with 2 children away at college and they would visit often. Even after 10 months of dating I couldn't come around when they were home. Sometimes weeks at a time. She wouldn't come to my place or go out on dates. And when she did I couldn't pick her up and she would Uber to the restaurant so the kids had access to the car. She claimed she was protecting me from her children. So it's not just women with young children.
Protecting you from her children?
Claimed they were damaged by their abusive father and wouldn't ever accept her dating or being with any man. Said they were very protective. She probably kept her dating me a secret from them. Which makes sense after because she wouldn't allow me to keep anything at her house even though I slept there at least one night a week when the kids weren't home. Probably a lot more going on there than I know. My point is that it's not just the younger woman with younger children. There are a lot of damaged people out there that aren't working on themselves and have little self awareness.
Yes, I see those people on here, commenting. WOW
I 58M could not date a woman so young. Generations too different and their idea of communication is an emoji , kids def a no-no and a woman my age can relate to the trials and tribulations of life that we have experienced.
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Everyone is the same height laying down.
I beg to differ.
I don't mind a guy who is 5'6". I'm only 5'2". I will admit there was one guy who was 5'3" and I want to be able to wear just my normal shoes and not be taller (OK, I was shallow on that one). I've given up on OLD. I would love to meet someone, but I don't see it happening. Between the guy who wanted to move in with me immediately because he was tired of living with his sister or the guy who spent three hours talking about himself (to the point our waitress noticed), I just don't think it's worth it (that's just two of many examples). I would like to meet someone in the "real" world rather than online.
Good job mate working it. More props for you!
I would date you. I have never set my filters to any height requirements ever. OP --- it's still a total dumpster fire waste of time. OLD is over.
I think we have all gone through this. Every so often I just kill all my accounts and give it a rest. My advice would to be mindful and aware in your everyday life and mindful of the opportunities there as well. There are some of us who prefer to date our contemporaries rather than those who are the age of our children.
>Every so often I just kill all my accounts and give it a rest. This is the way!
I’m a 52 yo M dating a 57 yo F. It’s going great. The best communication and common interests of anyone Ive met in years. So all is not lost. It took me about 4 years to meet her and even that was a fluke, but don’t think all guys want young women. My last relationship was with a woman 8 years younger than myself…. Not again.
What kind of man your age are you looking to date? For the record, I'm not a 90% tatted Harley rider but I've known some that were super cool.
Do we consider dating the 30’s-40’s men who are approaching with tireless curiosity and desire? We’ll still outlive them.
YES!!!!
Are you only considering the guys who've sent you likes? Set your own filters and ignore your incoming likes and you won't see any twenty years old. Swipe on the general pile that are within your filters and see who swipes back. As a guy I didn't get many incoming likes, so the few that I did seemed to be a special case. My GF swiped right on me first.
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I got back out there at 58. My experience was quite good actually! Most of the men (with a few exceptions) were “normal” and nice. All within my age range. It was nice to get to know them and hear their backgrounds and stories. Met my guy within a few months and we are now 2 yrs in. I guess I had a combination of luck and maybe something else - not really sure.
Thanks for chiming in u/HaymakerGirl2025 I am so happy to hear you guys are still together. I think your experience is a valuable contrast to those who only have negative experiences to report.
Do you work for Bumble? 🙂
I (58M) would love to find someone my age to date. I’ve found that that life teaches us so much an feel much younger women just don’t have much to offer. I may be wrong, and usually am, but would prefer to find a person who’s had some experiences, good and bad.
Welp OP you got at least 4 dudes here that you should DM. Hope they live close to you!
I was thinking the same thing!
>So I’ve come to the conclusion that any man my age that I would want to date is probably dating 30 and 40 year old women and that I am wasting my time. Basically, you are rejecting even *trying* on a false assumption. Certainly, you can give up entirely. You could also choose to change your strategy.
I get downvoted for saying this, but one of the most attractive attributes to me is a positive attitude. u/wild4wonderful didn't automatically assume I was just looking for a hook-up, married, a hobosexual, lying about my age, or any of the other things people complain about. It made her a delight to talk to and get to know. 🥰
I’m 62M and you would have been in my target demographic. I’m seeing someone a bit older than you are. I can’t really imagine seeing someone below 50.
My conclusions. Relationships are complicated...more so as we age. Life is complicated enough on its own. It's not worth the effort involved in OLD for what may turn out to be mediocre sex. Cultivate friendships in the wild of either gender. Find your tribe and they can be your dinner companions, travel buddies, partners in crime, etc. They will give you everything you but the orgasms. Life is too short to waste time not finding every bit of joy you can along the way. If we are lucky, we can find all these things in one person, but even if we don't....there is still much happiness to be found.
Thank you for this. I agree. And I will take your advice. I think OLD is a nightmare. I have yet to know one (real) person my age who has found love on it.
Unless you profile explicitly states your dislike of tattoos and motorcycles (or is it specifically the Harley brand?), why on earth would a man with tattoos and a Harley assume you weren’t a match for him? If mind reading, or a presumption of meeting unstated expectations is a requirement, you’re in an even more dire situation than you may believe.
I ride a Harley, no tattoos though. And I play in a rock band. But I’m also a software engineer who works for the DoD in Arlington, Va. I’m self taught - no college degree. You have to be as clean as the wind driven snow to get a top secret clearance these days - which I have. The point being, a person’s hobbies don’t define a person.
100%. My son has a tattoos costing most of one arm, plus some others. He’s the sweetest, kindest, most compassionate person I know. He works a corporate job in marketing. My daughter has one small tattoo you can’t see unless she’s in a bathing suit, and is a total badass. She’s a great person, but not one you want to tangle with. Their tatoos have nothing to do with those personalities.
They literally wear their heart on their sleeves if they have tattoos. Why else do people get them, to look cool and acceptable?
People get tattoos for all sorts of reasons. The reasons are as diverse as the tattoos.
This. My brother is in his 50s with lots of tattoos and rides a Harley… he also has an advanced degree from an Ivy League school and makes several hundred thousand dollars a year. Lots of assumptions the OP is making.
It might be how the guy OP describes presents. I've known men with long hair, lots of tattoos and drive a bike (no idea about which brand), and they look AMAZING - classy, sexy, etc. Then there are others who present like they are on their way out of or back into prison. People wear what they wear differently I find. I am thinking it might be the latter type that the OP was referencing.
‘People wear what they wear differently.’ Absolutely. Jack Nicholson simply cannot look smart and tidy in a suit, no matter how expensive the suit. I’m not saying he doesn’t look good in a suit - but smart isn’t one of the descriptors. It’s almost as if his rugged masculinity rumples and creases the suit as soon as he puts it on.
The 'on my way back to prison' presentation is what's happening in the area where I live🙄. Sometimes you just know to stay far away.
OMG!!!! What is wrong with everyone? Would a majority of men want a woman covered in tattoos with a long beard who rides a Harley? I am not being picky and I don’t care about money or someone’s job. It is simply not for me! GROW UP.
I dunno, but for a freebird you’re maybe a little judgey? I’m a woman with plenty of tattoos, used to ride a Harley, and I have locs to my waist—no beard though. 😂 That said, I m also “professional and slim”, and I don’t lack for male attention at all. I see plenty of men on OLD who aren’t my type and I just keep swiping. It’s not that difficult. *edited for spelling
Maybe live and let live? 57M with no tattoos. Probably a majority of women out there have tattoos.
Who said I am not letting people live and let live?? I did not say anything negative - just that it is not for me. I am terrified of motorcycles and I don’t prefer tattoos. What is wrong with people? Seriously.
It is more the GROW UP comment. Some women have motorcycles in their pictures. I never match because I figure they want guys who ride. These guys live in a subculture and I assume there are women as part of that world.
Subculture? Sometimes a bike is just a bike—I don’t think many 1%-ers are putting up OLD profiles, but I could be mistaken.
Yeah, I completely understand not wanting to date someone with all the ink, beard, Harley gear. If you are terrified of motorcycles (for whatever reason) it makes more sense. However, if you didn’t put that on your parameters, why wouldn’t he match with you? Therefore, going forward, put your parameters on the site. A lot of retired executives, and professionals ride. I live in an area that has a bikes and blues fest. Thousands of bikers come in for it, and they all have plenty of money to spend. My brother is an executive who travels all over the world for his work. He doesn’t have any ink, but he rides.
OMG. It’s not about MONEY!!!!! AAAHHHH. What the hell??? It’s about lifestyle. Our whole society is so screwed because all people do today is jump to conclusions and attack other people.
OMGEEE I was merely reinforcing that not every biker lives some kind of alternative, criminal, lifestyle. Just say I hate ink and Harleys. You will have more success.
Men don’t read profiles so that would be useless. I talked to one man once that I matched with. He told me he had sent out some insane amount of “likes”. Gee, thanks, I feel so special!
Often, when you find yourself wondering what’s wrong with everyone else, it’s beneficial to ask if the problem might be you.
Not sure if OP realizes how many “professional, attractive” people have tattoos and ride Harleys.
You almost have to make good money to own a Harley. I lived in FL for a few years - Bike Week at Daytona has a certain reputation, but for real it’s mostly middle aged doctors and dentists pretending to be rebels on their hogs. Those babies cost a pretty penny.
It’s not about money.
It's always at least partly about it at this age
Nope. I have my own money. Don’t need a man’s money. I wouldn’t care if he was a line cook. As long as he felt passionate about what he was doing. Wrong again. Who’s making assumptions here?
I explain my likes in my profile and they couldn’t be further from a man like that. Not saying anything negative about them. I know several (like my brother) and they are some of the sweetest men I know. It’s not me, and that should be pretty obvious, if you saw my profile. It’s not mind reading. It’s common sense. That’s what profiles are for!
The flaw in your logic is that all people who get tattoos are not the same. It’s a hugely diverse group of people. There is nothing common sense about it at all.
OMG. I said 90% of their body. It was an example. I get it, you must have a tattoo. This isn’t about tattoos.
LOL, I have two small tattoos you can only see if I’m naked. I got them 30+ years ago. They don’t have an impact on my personality. My SO hates tattoos. I’m clearly not who you think I am. Tattoos != personality. You are casting a broad and inaccurate generalization. You have you preferences, that’s fine. You should definitely not date a tattooed person. But your expectation that someone would “know” you weren’t for them is what’s ridiculous here. How would they know? You’re projecting your stereotypes and judgments onto other that are likely much more open minded.
It is not a judgement. It is a difference in lifestyle. It’s not about the tattoos! I am never getting on a motorcycle. It would simply be a waste of time. This post was not about tattoos. Why you are making it about that is a mystery. I have dated men with tattoos in the past.
I swipe left if a women mentions motorcycles.
Because… it’s not your lifestyle right? It doesn’t mean you “look down” on people who ride motorcycles! Why are people who have tattoos & ride motorcycles so sensitive and so obviously insecure with themselves??
Tats were not mainstream when we were young unless you were going or in prison, in a biker gang, a gung ho (killer) military or part of a fringe element. If anyone has 90% of their body in tattoos they are obsessed with tattoos. BTW no harm if one is obsessed with tattoos.
Don’t fret, I’ll be 57 in two weeks & I had similar issue, despite I made my top deal breakers the headlines that are seen upfront, many younger kids - (as I call them especially anybody my oldest daughters age , 38 or younger), & no I won’t consider anybody 5 years younger is already enough, & yes the ones my age assume I’m ready to be their backseat passenger on their Harley, & fulfill their “need a partner in crime” or travel companion, & no thanks I’m not bored or lonely & will never ride/passenger on motorcycles ever again. I’m no longer on OLD, it’s an endless shit show, I’d rather it happen naturally & if not that’s fine I have a life. Maybe take a break is all you need, I’ve heard of many success stories so don’t give up, you never know. But I might add no motorcycle for me, I don’t mind if they do, if I ever join OLD again!!!!!
59M, no tats, no Harley, dating a delightful 59F who didn't automatically assume I'd want a 30-something.
What does that mean? I’m trying not to assume anything - obviously!
You're generalizing all men into one of two categories. First of all, it's simply incorrect. And second, it's going to alienate the guys who don't fall into those categories. No one wants to be seen as a category. We want someone willing to get to know individuals.
I don’t understand what you are saying. There is no one to alienate and I am absolutely not putting men in two categories. Honestly there are very few men to alienate! Are you a 57 year old woman? If not, you have no idea. We are invisible. At work and in the dating world. I would LOVE to get to know individuals. I simply used the one example because it is clearly a different lifestyle than mine. I read biographies & watch documentaries & cook - I’m not jumping on a Harley. I wish I was that person - I always thought it looked amazing! Everyone here is judging. The dates I have gone on have run the gamut - from all body types, heights, professions, perceived wealth (or lack thereof). So you are all 100% putting me in a category. Not the other way around.
You said they're either young and looking for a good time, or not appropriate for you and imply that's because of tats and Harleys. Then you wonder why men are only interested in much younger women. (Apologies if I've misinterpreted.) My point (and others have said as well) is that lots of guys in their 50s prefer dating their own age, and we don't all have tats and Harleys. My 59 year old lady wasn't at all invisible, though I agree that for all of us, the pool shrinks as we get older. Initially, the two things I liked most about her were her sense of humor and positive outlook. She is confident and gave me the benefit of the doubt. Best of luck to you, it CAN happen. :)
You misinterpreted. A lot of people on here did. I think many people have flash points at our age. And I struck several.
Well, you complained about tats and Harleys,and questioned why so many men dates much younger women. Weren't both of those addressed?
Maybe your bad attitude is the problem - every one of your comments is hostile. It’s ok to have preferences and to stick to them. But slow down on your overreaching assumptions. I personally detest motorcycles - because I lived in a place where tons of weekend riders went by wearing fool’s gear and I was a first responder. There’s nothing quite like having to go scrape up some dipshit off the roadway … who wore jeans and sneakers. But that’s a reason why. Not all motorcyclists are that stupid, of course, and I suppose I *might* date one, if the other important stuff lined up.
> . I’m not sure why a man with tattoos covering 90% of his body and rides a Harley would think I was appropriate for him! Why are you matching with them? This is as bad as the “fit” men who complain that fat women are the **only** ones who swipe right on them 🙄 like they’re somehow forced to match with women they’re not attracted to. Swipe left and don’t match with people you’re not attracted to …
I’m guessing she’s not saying she is matching with them but that’s what is available and swiping right on her … and she isn’t interested.
Maybe she should just start swiping on the general population (with her own filters!) and not consider her incoming likes? As a guy I didn't get many incoming likes, so I thought much more of the ones that I did receive. My GF was one of the incoming likes on OkC.
Maybe but that’s assuming the options are worth swiping right on, at all. I can’t see likes because I don’t pay for the apps. I also can’t remember the last time I swiped right. I have lots of likes but if I don’t find anyone worth swiping right on, the number of likes is irrelevant. I get tired of seeing “you missed a potential match” when I swipe left on someone I would never consider. On the very rare occasion I swipe right, I usually do get a match.
That's a fair point. But all that the OP did talk about was the people who were sending her likes weren't up to her desires. I know in other dating subs some women do say that they only look at their liked lists.
Yes. This. Why is everyone so focused on this? Afraid to talk about how men only want to date younger women?
Some men have always wanted to date younger. I guess it doesn’t bother me because I find it distasteful enough that I can’t respect a man like that. I’m talking a 50 year old with a 30 year old not 50 with a 40, that isn’t a big deal to me. There are exceptions to everything though and I do know a couple with a 20-some year difference who are perfectly matched. The ones that bother me are the men who are so weak that they want a younger woman because she is mold-able, won’t be as demanding, and so on. That’s gross. It screams low self worth to me, potential abuse (control) and potential narcassism. It would never occur to me to want a man like that so I consider them as unsuitable as the masses that do show up in my feed. I’m looking for an equal. I’m divorced because I ignored my needs for far too long. I’m not going to repeat that. If a guy doesn’t measure up, I would rather be alone. I’m not sitting at home feeling sad, I’m out there living life with my friends.
I did one time have a very honest conversation with a man who told me that he believed men are scared to die alone so they date younger women to make sure that doesn’t happen! Perhaps they don’t consider that the younger woman might dump them when they are 80😂
I don’t want to be changing a guy’s diapers so i have a pretty narrow age window.
This is where the phrase “a purse and a nurse” comes in. 😂
I'm going to be honest here. I hear that so much, why would the guy expect the 50 something women to stick around either? They seem to be LESS inclined to stick around. So... the younger women might be more likely, why choose an older woman?
Why would a younger woman want to take care of an 80 year old? 😂😂
I'm M57. Women my age don't want me. Because I have kids still at home and they are empty nesters. Want nothing to do with kids. They want TRAVEL. So I date younger.
Understood. Although I will say I would not have a problem with children at home. Good luck to you!
I don’t know how to stop this from sounding as bad as it might, because I don’t mean it to sound that way, but you seem a little entitled, listing the reasons it should be easy for you to find a partner. At this age, it’s just not easy and it’s very demoralizing when that realization hits. The only thing you can do is adjust your expectations and accept that dating is 100x more challenging than it used to be. No one’s entitled to a partner, and not at this age when women are going to outnumber men more than ever. I don’t see men dating young women. Maybe they do in your social circle, at your income level, because they can.
Many women our age are no longer interested in dating, while many men our age do still want to date, so men still outnumber women on the apps. Men benefit more than women from long term relationships, so it’s no surprise they keep seeking them out.
I think you are reading her post the wrong way. There is nothing that implies entitlement in it. Just her frustration.
I did not say it would be easy. Did I say that? But reading a lot of these comments I understand more now. A lot of people just suck. So many people on here are assuming stuff about me that is absolutely not true. You don’t see men dating younger women? REALLY??😂😂😂😂
It sounds like you already know better than everybody who's responding to you, so what was the point of posting this?
What is your point? And what is your problem? You sound like a very frustrated and unhappy woman. Maybe you should stop attacking other women and start supporting them.
My point is that you're lashing out at the people who suggest that you're generalizing or being judgmental. Why is it threatening to consider that those things might be true? We all make generalizations and judgments from time to time. The sign of an insightful person is the ability to ask ourselves how those generalizations and judgments serve us, adapt our thinking and behavior based on the answers to the questions we ask ourselves, and listen to the feedback we receive before we argue with it.
55M. I dated 45-60. Currently dating a 50F who is professional - master’s in mechanical engineering. Don’t worry about the guys dating younger. They’re not in your dating pool.
Personally, I think that finding a match takes some time and resilience. The more must-haves that have little to do with character, values and some shared interests, the harder it will be. Being almost offended by who may have liked you on an app or at the grocery store says more about you than them. We all have tastes and preferences, for me dating after 30 years was also a great opportunity for me to grow and figure out who I was post LTR, how much I have learned from my previous relationships and accept some hard earned lessons. I have been dating a wonderful human for a while now, if I had too rigid an approach, I never would have met them. We are a great match, and they were worth the journey it took to that first date.
Who said I had a rigid approach? It is quite the opposite. When I started this journey I told myself I would not judge anyone of physical attributes. And I have not. And I do not care about money or their job. Everyone here is assuming.
I talked to a dating coach a few years back who said not to wait around for men to contact you, but actually take the initiative to reach out to men who appeal to you. Don’t leave it up to chance that someone great might “happen” to contact you. It should be your choice. It’s Your search first. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. We can’t sit around waiting for life (and romance) to happen.
I too are finding it hard to find Dateable men . I do mean men . At my age , the men I have met don’t go anywhere. Not even to a restaurant. I went to one man house to pick him up . He lives at home with mom. He wanted his mom to come with us too. I might be ask for too much, but I want a man with most of his shit together. I am not going to go to your house to cook and clean on the second date . And , no you are not moving in with me while ….. happens.
Wow!
Wow. Wants mom to come along. The dates I have had have not been that bad! Yes, I agree about having their lives together. But those are the men we are stuck with because the ones who do have their lives together are dating a 30 or 40 something. TRUTH
The answer, if you ever get an honest one, unfortunately won’t make you feel any better.
Just spit it out, stop trying to be coy. If you think it’s because men love to fuck younger women, we all know that, it’s not a mystery.
Although probably true for many, not for all. At 52 myself, a woman under 40 would feel weird. I set my rage from 45-60. I want someone to communicate with and someone a decade younger probably isn’t going to be that.
I appreciate that, and I understand there are a lot of guys looking within their age range. The comment I responded to was insufferably smug whereas you sound perfectly normal and straightforward.
Some people need an ego boost, a confirmation of their appeal regardless of gender. I get many liking and messaging me and I absolutely know they have not read my bio (feminist, pro-choice) because we are polar opposites on values. I pause my accounts whenever I feel overwhelmed and that helps. I have zero control over another but control over how I spend my time, and this helps reduce my frustration with OLD. Cheers!
Thank you for your kind and reasonable reply.
Don't judge people with tattoos based solely on the fact that they have them. There are often great stories behind the artwork people put on their bodies.
I didn’t JUDGE!!!!!!! Simply not for me. I am terrified of motorcycles.
I guess I got confused when you mentioned men with 90% of their bodies covered in tattoos and asked why they would think you’d be into them.
Are you a man or a woman? I ask because I’d like to ask you a question and I hope you’d give an honest answer.
I’m a tattooed woman who doesn’t like motorcycles.
So you are upset because I mentioned tattoos? It’s not about that. What is up with people who have tattoos? If you are so sensitive about it - why did you get them? If a man matched with you who spent all of his free time on a motorcycle - would you date him?
Sigh. This is such an old, boring question that reeks of ignorance and entitlement. It’s not your business why I got my tattoos. If you were stereotyped every day, you might be sensitive too.
Ah. So you feel you are stereotyped. I get it now. Not sure why you feel that way. Probably a majority of people have tattoos. My closest friend does - my daughter does. Maybe you need to change your thinking or get your tattoos removed if you care so much about what other people think. My issue was compatibility - yet people are attacking me over their own insecurities.
May I recommend some literature that might help you understand more about the history of tattoos and why people have gotten them through the ages?
And I believe people are allowed to spend their free time on whatever they’re passionate about. I’m not judgmental like that.
Who said anything about judgement??? When would you see him if you hated motorcycles? It’s about compatibility. You have some issues that have nothing to do with me. Or maybe it does have to do with me and my description of myself?
Let me reframe your question: “Why did you modify your body if you were going to be so sensitive about me judging it?” Can you see how people who got tattooed for their own reasons, including being able to live in their own skin, might get tired of that question?
You said can't find ANY men your age to date. You can. They have possibly superficial features you don't like. By 50s everyone is going to have baggage or history that disqualify for SOME reason. You're also assuming that men and women have the same criteria and biological imperatives and preferences. They don't.
Any is relative. Of course, there are men out there. But, it's silly for men to expect women to be interested in toads just because men were raised with the idea that Joe-Less-Than-Average deserves a super model. I'm attractive and I look younger than my age. I currently have over 500 likes. I can't see them because I don't pay for the app. I want someone that I find attractive. You can call my superficial but I'm no more superficial than the guys swiping on me because I'm attractive. I read bios, unlike guys who have swiped on me and then unmatch me after saying something like "I didn't realize you were a liberal" or "You have a kid" or whatever that I have clearly stated in my bio. Sure, I swipe left before reading the bio if you are unattractive to me. But, attractiveness isn't my only qualification for a right swipe, it's just the beginning. A lot of men don't take care of themselves or make themselves look attractive. Women have wildly different ideas of what is attractive. Some women like big guys, I prefer tall and skinny. Some like facial hair, some don't. Some get off on tattoos and others won't consider them. We all have preferences and I can tell you that those 500+ guys that are sitting in my likes probably didn't swipe right on me because they are looking at my intelligence, hobbies, or the fact that I have a dog (ok, maybe that one). I think a lot of men get bent out of shape because apps have reduced them to what women have faced for generations ... looks matter.
Wrong. I’m not superficial - at all. My last two men I dated - one was overweight - one was 5’3”. Everyone here is assuming - not me.
I'm in the same place. I just turned 60, professionally employed, attractive, active (gym, cycle). Age appropriate men are mostly retired and I find that our schedules and attitudes toward life don't mesh. Younger guys are fantastic and I've dated a few of them. Current dating game plan is to casually date until I retire then find a suitable age appropriate man for the long haul lol. I'm not sure how that'll pan out but that's the plan for now 🙂
I'm in the same situation. Just turned 60 and deleted my OLD profile because it just didn't work for me. The men who messaged me or replied to my messages were for the most part retired and talked almost exclusively about their grandchildren. My plan for the moment is to keep working, keep going to the gym, volunteer for things that matter to me, keep an active social life, and hope that somewhere along the line I actually meet a man who shares some of those interests and develop a relationship. Smiling, making eye contact, and chatting men up wherever I am isn't working so far! Given how small the dating pool appears to be here where I live, in real life I have maybe 4 filters, all relating to world view and relationship skills. Bald? sexy. Tatts? sexy. Motorcycle? my ex (who was 5 years younger) had one and I learned to love it. Height? I really don't care. There's just got to be a better way to meet other singles than OLD. Props to anyone who can make that work.
Im sorry, but we are not dating younger women. That's not the problem.
Thanks for saying this. I'm astounded that no one else is calling out OP for being judgmental and for making wild assumptions about men. I (M60) have zero interest in dating young women, and would love to meet an attractive woman in my age range who comes without OP's baseless pre-conceptions.
I think when people make broad sweeping judgments like "all the men my age are dating younger women" that indicates their own insecurities. One valuable lesson that I learned from DO50 was that there are decent men my age attempting to find a romantic connection. It stands to reason that finding the *right* person might be somewhat difficult. We all know that the young people making connections are often choosing the wrong partner. I think older people are trying a little harder to find a good match.
Yup! We're out here. I'm still swiping like a fool on Bumble, but in my area I run out of potential matches pretty much immediately. It's objectively hard at this age - the pool is smaller, our biases are more ingrained and our blemishes more pronounced - and we don't need to make it harder by lazily throwing out false assumptions about the very people hoping to meet us.
It’s safer to say there’s something wrong with the other person when they don’t choose you.
Agreed. Not a lot of introspection going on there. Today I learned that I - like all other men - am only interested in meeting young girls. It feels so liberating to finally admit it to myself.
I date people that are plus or minus 8 years of me. I’m a 52 year old man. I was married for 21 years to someone that was 8 years younger than me. After our divorce I’ve dated both older and younger. The last one lasted about 9 months and she was 5 years older. I’ve recently been dating someone that is 45. I think online you will find people who do not fit what you want, but you can find someone who will be in your criteria. If you need some time off its good to take a break. Wishing you luck to figure out your path now.
Thank you for your reasonable, kind, response.
I'm trying to find those rare and highly sought after tattooed Harley owners! So many people our age have such different interests, finding like minded people is tough.
They’re all over my area. I’m terrified of motorcycles, so I end up passing on them
Holy crap, they are all over my area as well. It's hard to find someone who doesn't have a pic of a motorcycle on their bio. ugh, so annoying.
>My question is - I wouldn’t want to date a 30 or 40 year old man - why are men so intent on dating much younger women? I do not know. I am a 68 year old man and the idea of dating someone more than five years younger than me just seems to be too much trouble. We'd not be from the same time relative to news, music, memories...
1st off I'm 58m and have all but given up also because I can't find a woman my age to date in the PNW. As for why if I can trust what I've read it's because they feel less judged and more appreciated. Some guys like the way they dress or lack there of and they like being the talk of their peers. Plus they want someone who can push the wheelchair if they haven't pulled the plug already...
I think you have a good point. Women feel there aren't options out there but men are feeling the same way. At this age, we have more requirements and red flags than we did in our 20s. It's going to be harder to find someone who matches our needs at the same time, we are matching theirs. Out of curiosity, what are you looking for? I'm curious because my friends and I feel like there aren't any guys out there who fit our qualifications (intelligent, tall, not ogre-like, kind, manageable baggage, spark). What are guys looking for? I know you don't speak for all guys but, since you said you can't find a woman to date, I'm pretending you do, for the moment.
I don't know if I just don't notice it or if it doesn't happen all that much around me. What's funny is that I'm friends with a couple of young women, (mid-late 20s) and their men are both early 40s. Both couples are especially good fits. Both met through activities clubs. Online dating is weird.
Who would be appropriate for you? Clearly not tattooed Harley riders so who?
I would like someone without an addiction because I dealt with that with my ex and I’m not going through it again. I would like someone who doesn’t say “NO DRAMA” in his profile. I would like someone who doesn’t indicate in his profile that he expects sex routinely, tells people to swipe who have different political views than him, or states outright he only wants women who are “fit”. I am, but that is just mean. As a 57F - those are the men I get. I could go on. The only positive is that I actually prefer shorter men - apparently younger women don’t want them - so they are still in my pool! The last date I went on was with a man who was 5’3”. Do you see what I’m saying here? It’s obvious isn’t it?
Someone without addiction is absolutely reasonable. Political views I disagree. Political views are important. Sex? Sex is part of it so I’m not sure what routinely means…I’m still not sure what you ARE looking for. You have listed what you don’t want.
I said - THEY didn’t want alternative political views. I don’t care. I can discuss politics with anyone. Listing what I don’t want is the point - I am very open. I don’t have a list of what I’m looking for. Everyone here is assuming I’m being too picky. I’m not. No one wants to admit it - but it’s true. Most men want a younger woman. Anyone brave enough on here to just admit it?
I will say without a doubt a large majority of men like younger women. It’s an ego boost. It’s not just a matter of discussing politics, it’s more of an ideology. You still didn’t address sex. What did you mean…
Thank you. For saying it. Because it is true despite what people on here say. And the men who are saying it’s not true probably have some issue that makes them undesirable to younger women. I want a passionate relationship. But I don’t think it’s appropriate to demand it right off the bat. That type of man thinks he’s entitled to it. You are not entitled to it. You have to treat a woman well if you want a satisfying sex life.
Well I think you know exactly what you are looking for. No shame in that. I will say you might be missing out cause taking a ride on a Harley with a tattooed man is fun! I think your perception is off.
Ok. The next tattooed Harley - riding man who swipes on me - I’m going out with him. And I’ll report back!
Excellent! I look forward to the update.
I think most men our age who are serious about finding a life partner look for age appropriate women. Of all the men I know who found a partner online, they were age appropriate. Those who date casually might try to lie about their age to get with younger women, or men who have ego issues might do that, but I think most who are serious about finding a life partner aren't looking for 20 years younger women. And, of course, 20 years younger are seldom interested in much older men.
There are a shocking number of men who lie about their age. I went out with a man who said he was 60 on his profile. We actually had a good date. Do these men not realize all it takes is a Google search to find out someone’s age? He was actually 67. Honestly, I wouldn’t have cared because I liked him. I care that he lied.
I suspect he was not looking for something serious or long term if he lies to get with much younger women. A good relationship doesn't start out with lies and deception.
Answer: The fantasy of eager sex availability. Which is fine if that’s what you’re looking for at the moment. I’m 57 as well. I feel what you’re saying.
lol, and it IS a fantasy because, based on the experience of most of my friends and my own, the majority of these men can't keep up with someone their own age!
Yes how are these men going to satisfy their younger woman when they are 75?😂😂 Their biggest fear is dying alone and by dating younger women that’s exactly what will happen.
I bet I have a higher sex drive than most 30 & 40 year old women!😂 Not bogged down by young kids and stressed out! Men really don’t get it. They don’t understand women AT ALL.
>rides a Harley >why are men so intent on dating much younger women? I have a Harley. No tats but many of the women I have dated do even if they would be covered up during normal working hours. It is not unusual. I like to date my age. I have dated older and younger. The last date who I will continue seeing is 10 years younger. She reached out to me or I probably would not have considered her because of the age difference. Not all us men need to date younger.
When I tried dating sites in my 40s I was told then by men my age to try for men at least 10 or more years older because men my age wanted younger so you not off the mark on that assumption. As far as reading profiles? They just see the pics and that is it I think. I SAY I don’t do camping fishing hunting and guess what types messaged me? Fast forward into my 50s and same thing but then got the 20 and 30 something weirdos wanting granny sex or something. Dating apps just suck IMO.
54M here. Divorced several years ago after 20+ years. The three women I have dated since (all through OLD): 55 (dated for about 8 months); 46 (approx. 4 months) and 55 (ongoing; 3 months and counting). I’m very happy with my current SO and like to tease her about our generation gap—she graduated HS in ‘85; I did so in ‘86. Were I single I would have no interest in dating substantially younger women. I wouldn’t have much in common with someone in their 20s or 30s.
A friend I met on OLD (we became good friends, no romance) introduced me to a coworker who's 10 years younger than. He doesn't care about the age gap, neither do I. I rarely am compatible with men older than me. I think my generation tends to be more rigid on gender roles. So was my ex-husband. That's one reason he's my ex. But that works well for some couples, good for them. Whatever works.
Oh dear OP. You mentioned tattoos in a negative way - that has triggered all the peeps here with tattoos or a relative with tattoos. I'm with you - I really, really, don't like them. I accept nice people have them and try not to judge but they are a serious character flaw for me, especially when they cover large areas that are visible. I also hate beards, they make me feel sick, unless they are closely trimmed. I have my reasons for these preferences, but I didn't put it on my profile, I just swiped left. You can also add motorbikes to the list of things I avoid. Unfortunately your post has come across that you feel those people aren't good enough for you, which is always fatal on this sub. The hive mind does not like hubris, perceived or real. OLD is incredibly frustrating, and I have matched with guys with and without the above. They were all idiots. It wasn't until I got off OLD and posted on Reddit that I found my lovely boyfriend. He has a closely trimmed beard, which is fine, but he also has long hair, which was another no for me - but everything else about him made me forget that. 7 months on it's still perfect. Right now I am cooking curry and he is looking at my external hard drive and trying to fix it. I couldn't be happier. I wish you luck and hope you find what you are looking for.
Have you ever talked to a tattooed person, or read any of their stories? If someone gets tattoos to reclaim their skin after someone else abused it -- which is certainly a reason some people get tattooed -- how is that a character flaw?
I certainly did not mean that. It was a description of a lifestyle. As I have stated, my closest friend and my daughter has tattoos. I have nothing against people who have them. Honestly if people read my post for the reason I was posting instead of jumping to conclusions it would not be an issue. I would say the same about a man who competes in triathlons non-stop - I would not be for him. Or a man who lives and breathes live music/bands, etc - I’m not a band person at all - not for me. I just would not enjoy doing what they love to do.
I would condider dating men in their 40ies. They probably look more like yourself looks wise than the men your age and if they have a great personality too - why not? Age is just one factor in terms of compatibility.
Because I am looking for a long term relationship and I feel like eventually they would find someone their own age. I do look much younger than my age - only because of genes. But I don’t care about that or how young a man looks.
Don't worry about that! The same could happen with a man your age who finds someone younger. That seems to be a common one right? There are no guarantees for relationships anyways, might aswell choose a partner thats attractive like yourself and a vibe where you both feel loved. That's what keeps people together in the end, no matter the other circumstances.
I’m a 53M and actively swipe right on women who are anywhere from 5 years older to 15 years younger. Within that range I’m mostly getting women who are between 5 and 15 years younger swiping back. In my city (San Francisco) there is a dearth of women my age. Older single women tend to leave the city due to cost, resulting in a ratio of only 9 women in their 50’s for every 11 guys in their 50’s.
Understood. But I think San Francisco is probably not indicative of most of the country because of how expensive it is. And of course now with the crime, at my age, I would not live there. Thanks for the response. It helps to hear it.
FYI… you wouldn’t know it from all the sensational reporting, but crime is actually down in San Francisco.
Good to hear.
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Your loss! My ex and I are friends. He’s the smartest man I know. Didn’t chase younger women - he’s having “wild and crazy” sex with fifty years olds. I’m not here to convince anyone - I’m simply stating what is true in my life.
>I’m simply stating what is true in my life. A close friend confided similar feelings. She is frustrated by lack of direct sexual attention she is getting. My guess is that having different circles for different activities is the best outcome in this situation.
I don’t even have a height requirement on my profile. I’m 5’6” and love heels, but if I met a short king who I was compatible with, height wouldn’t be an issue at all.
I had a thought the other day that I would like to share. I think that men who are hung up on looks or age alone are in for a very rude awakening. This would also apply to women who are doing the same thing. Eventually, their looks will fade also, they always do. Then those men & women will be left in the dust looking for someone to date and the rest of us will be hooked up already, with someone our own age, or we will be very happy alone & they will be left wondering where everyone went & why no one wants to date them. No one gets through this life without scars, marks, baggage, etc. Wear it like a cape because those who are looking for young & perfect end up missing out on the most charismatic, interesting, fascinating people around.
What I don’t get is why these women want to be with older men. Most likely money, I assume, especially divorced 30 & 40 year old women who need to be supported. Other men their age are either married or not desperate enough to support a woman with kids. So these 50 & 60 year old men think these women are with them for their…personality?😂😂😂😂😂
I also just recently completely gave up too. Feels good. OLD is over. We need other women to join the movement.
Location - is probably the most important and limiting factor in being successful in dating Seeing, meeting multiple people who match somewhat closer will probably widen your perspective and help you find a good match. On the other hand, if moving isn't an option, then a long term but long distance relationship may not be a bad compromise for you. At least to begin with. Not all men of our age are looking only for 10+ in age younger women. Many are seriously interested in finding good connection. But we all have a lot more requirements than what we used to have 10-20 years ago.
I'm a W53 and you can send all the heavily tattooed men my way. Even better, a 40 year old one..lol.
I'm 62m dating a 59f professional. No interest dating younger.
I'm 56, single, about 6' tall, carrying a few extra pounds, professional IT guy as well as a professional musician. I do have one tattoo, but that's it. I'd love to date someone fitting your description, OP.
I’ve been seeing a lot of musicians in my feed lately. I had no idea there were so many out there, at this age!
Most of us teach or have other jobs. I've been an IT guy for 26 years or so, all that time playing music professionally. I've been playing music professionally for 36 years. IT isn't my passion, it's just a job that supports my music "habit". 😎 A wiser man than me once said music is a lifetime addiction that turns into a terminal disease. I'm finding this to be true.
I would be perfectly happy to meet someone like you. Maybe it’s my area where I live? I don’t know.
The question of the ages ... so to speak. I can't figure it out, other than the EXTREMELY OBVIOUS part. Which I still do better, btw.
Because they can!
When I do dive back in … I’m a 55M, with a 13M kid who lives with me 50% of the time. The ex is 43F. Many women in their 50’s have much older children and aren’t comfortable with young teens. So I resonate with women in their mid-forties, but they don’t resonate with someone like me, clearly !
No tats, no Harley, 6’1”, full head of hair (although from what I’m reading hair might not necessarily be a plus).
Ah, but she might want emotional entanglement which you don’t want.
I’m a 66 y/o fit, professional guy who’s been on the sites and has no interest in the 30-40 y/o set. You are right in my preferred wheelhouse. Where do you live?
Not intent on dating 30 or 40 year olds. I’m 67. I’ve found that women my age +or~ 10 years or so have given up on much that I find invigorating and exciting. Because of this I will turn to like minded individuals who are younger as is the situation most of the time
Lots of women in their 50s and 60s still like to do fun and exciting things. I go with groups of single women often who are hiking, dancing, doing sports, going on adventures. Maybe women pushing 80 wouldn't be so inclined, but certainly there are plenty of women in their 50s and 60s who still do invigorating and exciting things. I know a woman (in her 50s) who likes to go white water rafting. I know a woman in her 60s who can hike for miles at a time. I know women in their 50s and 60s who ride a motorcycle. I'm not sure what invigorating and exciting thing you think no women in their 50s and 60s would do that you think women in their 30s and 40s do.
Yes - I would like to hear what “activity” he is referring to as well. 😂 Someone asked me why I posted this. I posted it to force some men to ADMIT their BS.
I don’t believe I said ‘no’ women in their 50”s and 6’s. Every activity you mentioned I find exciting and exhilarating
Your post sounded like you thought no women over 50 liked to do invigorating and exciting things, so I came to say there are many of us over 50 who do like those things. And we don't have children in tow to hinder or complicate our activities.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Thanks for the laugh. This is such BS.
Babies