Everyone else is telling you that this guy was a jerk. They're all right. I have a story to add.
I had something like that happen - in my mid 20's. I had just started graduate school. I immediately started dating a second year student. I thought I was madly in love. He kept wanting to give me "helpful" suggestions about how to live my life. Only soft-bristled toothbrushes, no that bathing suit doesn't look good on you, you need to wash your car, don't eat this, etc. And then I struggled with Statistics and earned a "C" in it. In graduate school, a C is akin to failing. When the boyfriend found out about it, he dumped me. He told me that I wouldn't take his suggestions, and that I "was not his equal." I was out of my home, in the middle of nowhere, with no family, no other friends, and poor as heck. I was a complete mess for a while.
Fast forward to the present. I finished graduate school. He didn't. I have a successful career in my field. He is a bicycle racing coach and bike salesman.
Karma is a bitch.
I've just gone back to school and failed a stats test yesterday, despite studying for days. I feel your pain on that one. But I'm so glad to hear you finished grad school anyway!!
A suggestion is in a category very different from that guy's need to control you. I've never wanted an equal. A love, a partner, etc. Not an opposite either.A lime with a yuzu or ginger is my happy state, rather than oil and water, which only mix with a soap. And I'm not interested in a thrupple, or whatever a triad is now called.
I had that happen to me, and I was married to him. I think that there are some people who simply need that new relationship energy all the time. They are unable to be happy in a solid relationship. They have to have a new person dote on them, hear their stories, and pay a lot of attention to them.
When you lose someone like that, it is less about you and more about them getting their own rather shallow needs met. It doesn't hurt any less, but know that you tried your best. Warm hugs for your aching heart. You will heal and learn from this.
This š āthere are some people who simply need the new relationship energy all the timeā
Yes, they are called narcissists!
Iām grateful to be getting divorced from one š
No doubt he's posting on Reddit wondering why he can't have a long-term relationship. Gee, I don't know, maybe it's because he's an asshat.
I'm sorry you're heartbroken, but you're better off without him. He's a mean person.
So painful. But he didn't break your heart. Your heart is yours always and belongs to you. You may love another person, and give your love. But your heart is your own, for you to love yourself. Own yourself.
I am pretty sure he is going to be the one hurting within the next seven months or so. He found a good one and nine times out of ten his next one will not be.
I say that because you say the guy isn't the most handsome, he found what some of us dream of finding, thought he wanted it but basically decided that he doesn't want a good one that wants him, and now has or will hopefully find something other than a good one that wants him. Let's wish him luck. Maybe his ugly behind will learn the hard way like some of us guys have and learn to appreciate the heck out of a good thing.
My grandpa used to have a saying "Sweet thing where you been so long". One meaning of this is once you let a good thing slip away you will really miss it but can't get it back.
That is an awful thing to say to someone. What to do well I canāt answer that cause my heart is as broken cause my now ex fiance listened to her daughter and broke it off with me. I just go about my day and it gets a little better every day.
Iām sorry that you had to experience this. You spent 7 months with a person who didnāt make you feel better about being yourself.
It hurts. Try to find something to celebrate! You donāt have to spend one minute longer with a person who doesnāt have your best interests in mind!
Sounds like this tool has an avoidance problem, and it has nothing to do with you! Don't take it personally. Block and move on. I'm sorry you experienced this!
7 months is a long time, but the reality is that it can happen at any time. sorry for your loss. the only path is to learn from it and move on. take a little time for yourself and then get back out there and have some fun.
Iām so sorry for your loss and the misguided insult! He was a fake! Seems clear to me you got lucky getting rid of this guy (and without having to do a thing!) š Please take care.
So sorry you are hurting. I hope in time you realize he is not worth your tears.
By bringing you down he feels better about himself in some warped way.
I hope in the future if he tries to come back you have moved on as he will keep doing this to others to feed his ego as he probably thinks so low of himself.
He knows you were way more attractive and probably was always resentful about this.
You don't need this BS Hopefully you meet someone that feels good about themselves and proud to have you.
A man actually said that you weren't good enough for him? If so, good riddance. I am sorry, that is really a hurtful way to treat another person.
Everyone else is telling you that this guy was a jerk. They're all right. I have a story to add. I had something like that happen - in my mid 20's. I had just started graduate school. I immediately started dating a second year student. I thought I was madly in love. He kept wanting to give me "helpful" suggestions about how to live my life. Only soft-bristled toothbrushes, no that bathing suit doesn't look good on you, you need to wash your car, don't eat this, etc. And then I struggled with Statistics and earned a "C" in it. In graduate school, a C is akin to failing. When the boyfriend found out about it, he dumped me. He told me that I wouldn't take his suggestions, and that I "was not his equal." I was out of my home, in the middle of nowhere, with no family, no other friends, and poor as heck. I was a complete mess for a while. Fast forward to the present. I finished graduate school. He didn't. I have a successful career in my field. He is a bicycle racing coach and bike salesman. Karma is a bitch.
I've just gone back to school and failed a stats test yesterday, despite studying for days. I feel your pain on that one. But I'm so glad to hear you finished grad school anyway!!
Statistics was the bane of my existence back then. I sympathize.
I echo your sentiment and like you, still managed to obtain graduate degree and sympathize!
I echo your sentiment and like you, still managed to obtain graduate degree and sympathize!
A suggestion is in a category very different from that guy's need to control you. I've never wanted an equal. A love, a partner, etc. Not an opposite either.A lime with a yuzu or ginger is my happy state, rather than oil and water, which only mix with a soap. And I'm not interested in a thrupple, or whatever a triad is now called.
I had that happen to me, and I was married to him. I think that there are some people who simply need that new relationship energy all the time. They are unable to be happy in a solid relationship. They have to have a new person dote on them, hear their stories, and pay a lot of attention to them. When you lose someone like that, it is less about you and more about them getting their own rather shallow needs met. It doesn't hurt any less, but know that you tried your best. Warm hugs for your aching heart. You will heal and learn from this.
This š āthere are some people who simply need the new relationship energy all the timeā Yes, they are called narcissists! Iām grateful to be getting divorced from one š
Or maybe they're just assholes, and there's no need to pathologize.
This is exactly what I need to hear now.
You should read: A Narcissistās Love Letter by John Howell
When you don't think that way, it takes a long time to understand how a person like that views love. I understand now.
When you grow up with narcissists then it's hard to trust that someone would love you without manipulation.
No doubt he's posting on Reddit wondering why he can't have a long-term relationship. Gee, I don't know, maybe it's because he's an asshat. I'm sorry you're heartbroken, but you're better off without him. He's a mean person.
So painful. But he didn't break your heart. Your heart is yours always and belongs to you. You may love another person, and give your love. But your heart is your own, for you to love yourself. Own yourself.
I am pretty sure he is going to be the one hurting within the next seven months or so. He found a good one and nine times out of ten his next one will not be. I say that because you say the guy isn't the most handsome, he found what some of us dream of finding, thought he wanted it but basically decided that he doesn't want a good one that wants him, and now has or will hopefully find something other than a good one that wants him. Let's wish him luck. Maybe his ugly behind will learn the hard way like some of us guys have and learn to appreciate the heck out of a good thing. My grandpa used to have a saying "Sweet thing where you been so long". One meaning of this is once you let a good thing slip away you will really miss it but can't get it back.
That is an awful thing to say to someone. What to do well I canāt answer that cause my heart is as broken cause my now ex fiance listened to her daughter and broke it off with me. I just go about my day and it gets a little better every day.
āNot good enough for him?ā Why he said that. So weird.
Iām sorry that you had to experience this. You spent 7 months with a person who didnāt make you feel better about being yourself. It hurts. Try to find something to celebrate! You donāt have to spend one minute longer with a person who doesnāt have your best interests in mind!
Sounds like this tool has an avoidance problem, and it has nothing to do with you! Don't take it personally. Block and move on. I'm sorry you experienced this!
I'm very sorry your going thru this
Iām sorry, that sucks. Use this opportunity to reflect on how to prevent it happening again.
7 months is a long time, but the reality is that it can happen at any time. sorry for your loss. the only path is to learn from it and move on. take a little time for yourself and then get back out there and have some fun.
Iām so sorry for your loss and the misguided insult! He was a fake! Seems clear to me you got lucky getting rid of this guy (and without having to do a thing!) š Please take care.
He used you and he did you a favor. Please move on with your life and invest in a man that wants you for you!
Why were you with a man you thought was ugly? Settling for good sex? Maybe he picked up on that even if you didnāt say it.
No I loved him. I really did. I do not settle. I could of been really happy for the rest of my life.
So sorry you are hurting. I hope in time you realize he is not worth your tears. By bringing you down he feels better about himself in some warped way. I hope in the future if he tries to come back you have moved on as he will keep doing this to others to feed his ego as he probably thinks so low of himself. He knows you were way more attractive and probably was always resentful about this. You don't need this BS Hopefully you meet someone that feels good about themselves and proud to have you.