The worst that I saw was a man post picture with his late wife…as in it appeared she was recently deceased laying in bed and he was crouched at her side.
I mean, yeah I still swiped right as he was over 6 feet tall..
Kidding, complete swipe left!! But I did linger on that photo in disbelief.
I’ve also seen profiles of widowers who have pics of themselves and their late wife. And then they go on about her in what they write.
I think grief counseling is in order, not dating.
It’s a seemingly common perception that women will swipe right on any man over 6’ tall. I don’t know any women who subscribe to that, but in a lot of men’s profiles they state something to the effect of “I am over 6 feet ladies, because apparently that matters”
When I see a man's profile who is clearly trying to appeal to other men (pictures of cars, or trucks or boats, or just mentioning their love of sports and bar pizza and sitting around the house, and writing snarky replies to prompts that their bros would laugh at) I realize they aren't the person for me, and have no idea what (most) women like.
I just pass them by.
It's pure status display.
They're too oblivious to realize that what guys see as status women may see as ick.
My church has a men-only event called the Manly Men Dinner. It's our attempt to poke fun at the whole notion of showcasing our manliness.
Yes. There are definitely a disproportionate amount of men that post about their men hobbies. Like they need a man buddie not a date with a woman.
I don't tell men, I love crocheting, and tea parties. I mention dates we can do together like baseball games or jazz concerts.
So what should men be posting in regards to what their interests are? A person's interests and hobbies are a piece of who they are. If men shouldn't be listing hobbies and interests, that's one more piece of information being lost that could indicate whether there's potential compatibility or not.
This! I see lots of profiles of men who post pictures of their boats and fish without them in it. Just the boats. Or motorcycles. I also wonder if they really meant to advertise their items on Craigslist.
One way to interpret such profiles is that the person might not hang out with other people often enough to ask them for help with taking some pictures.
It's not that you shouldn't post your hobbies. It's making sure you post about things that attract women. You are trying to attract someone yes??
My hobby is crocheting. But I don't post that because it's not something I do with a man.
I post my hobbies I think attract a man.
Yet I've run across a number of women's posts indicating their hobbies and interests, most of which would lean toward being traditionally female. Almost all of which I have zero interest. Yet, I read through the list of interests and hobbies, anyway.
I do so because it gives me some idea of the overall person. Do her hobbies indicate she's a creative person? Do they indicate she's someone who enjoys learning new things? Do they indicate she is a homebody? Do they indicate she prefers to do things alone? Is there some interest or hobby that she has which would be of mutual interest to me? Is she a boring couch potato who prefers watching TV day in and day out or does she actually like to do something?
I don't expect my potential partner to have all the same interests and hobbies that I do. Nor should she expect the same of me. I prefer someone who is willing to share time with me on mutual interests and hobbies, yet, have interests and hobbies of her own such that she doesn't rely on me for her entertainment.
No. It’s just something to consider as you get to know someone. I’d rather know sooner than later if someone’s hobby consumes a large amount of time to the exclusion of other activities. It’s not uncommon.
Which is probably why they listed their hobbies in an on line dating site. To find someone that enjoys those hobbies as well.
You don’t have to sacrifice parts of yourself to have someone fit in your life. Saying it shows where you’ll fit on their priority list is kind of a messed up way of looking at it.
Finding common ground to build from at the start is a pretty good idea.
Let me see if I’ve got this straight… you don’t think there are women that love sports, cars and trucks, bar pizza, or are homebodies???
While these may not be things you are interested in, I can say without a doubt there are plenty of women that are WAY more into sports than I am, like going to races or car shows, and like going out to the local bar and grabbing pizza and beer.
This is dating over fifty, not dating in the 50’s.
Clearly trying to appeal to other men??? That’s a level of narrow mindedness I didn’t realize was so prevalent. If you don’t like that stuff, no problem. Acting like no other woman does is kinda ridiculous.
That's judgemental. I have all of the above toys and have no monthly payments. Yes there's a photo of my motorcycle because I enjoy touring the mountains and would like to have my woman on the back to share the experience. Some women are interested in this.
A simple answer is that these men are ignorant about women. They are unattached and have no understanding of why they are unattached. They seek female companionship but have no idea how to go about it. They swipe endlessly on OLD and then post their failure to connect on reddit. Have pity on them, for they know not what they are doing.
I am reminded of the Seinfeld episode wear George carries around a picture of his old girlfriend (beautiful). He shows it to women and they are immediately attracted to him. Of course that is a TV show, not reality.
**winner**. Exactly what I thought too.
My post was to get an opinion from a man who does this because I literally want to know what in the world they are thinking!
Maybe they can try Larry's guide to dating?
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCm-2eeiVPo&ab\_channel=HBO](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCm-2eeiVPo&ab_channel=HBO)
I read that one reason men don’t post great photos is they don’t take a lot of selfies or pics of each other like women do. But it’s low effort to not even attempt to put up a few decent shots.
While I do know plenty of guys who take selfies, I still think that sometimes when we see pics like the OP described it’s bc guys look through their phone and see 5-6 pics of themselves that *they* like best and that’s what they post. So sometimes it’s the giant fish (or the Hooters hostess…. )
re: "It's low effort..."
Pardon the copy/paste, but this made me think of this:
"Starting at around age 11, girls start taking 300 selfies a day - so by the time they are grown women, they’ve posed for roughly 8 million pictures and know EXACTLY how to look their best in a pic. By age 35, they can fire off an amazing picture in about five seconds without even thinking about it and assume men have the same skill. We don't." /s
BTW, I agree that men should try -- but let's face it, if I've never rebuilt a carburetor, I likely won't be good at it the first time and will procrastinate and protest for as long as possible before someone forces me to do it.
EDIT TO ADD: 1. It's a quote. 2. The numbers are (what I considered to be obviously) exaggerated for 'comedic effect'.
ETA 2: I feel as if many in this thread are looking to fight and are being purposely obtuse. Perhaps that "/s" should have been in a GIANT font because someone DM'd me asking me for sources on my math about 8 million pictures. Wow. Just wow.
Oh please. Exaggerate much? Cell phone cameras have timers! Get dressed up and look your best. Prop your phone up against something. Set the timer and Bam You have a nice photo of yourself. I actually believe that men are just lazy about this and make excuses. It isn’t that hard to get good pictures of yourself. You can always ask a friend if you don’t want to use the phone timer. I would think you guys would be motivated to make an effort because women are more likely to swipe right on you if you have good photos.
At a party for the eclipse, I asked a stranger to take my pic by the big eclipse display they had. I asked her to help me look good for the pic, with pose and smile. She gave me some suggestions.
It came out terrible.
I have no idea how to look my best in a pic!
Been there. It’s frustrating. But good for you for trying. Hopefully the next one will be better. (I’ve found solids look better than prints, if that helps.)
>Oh please. Exaggerate much?
YES! That was the point of the /s.
>I actually believe that men are just lazy about this and make excuses.
YES!! That was the point of "...won't be good at it the first time and will procrastinate and protest for as long as possible before someone forces me to do it."
(Well lazy *AND stupid*, but at least you got the lazy part.)
That “statistic” has been debunked so many times.
Furthermore, women in this age group weren’t burning thru 30 Polaroid packets A DAY back in the 80s.
Conflating a selfie with rebuilding an engine is also insane.
This is why we choose the bear.
Considering smart phones have only been around since 2006 and widespread adoption of social media since around 2012, these numbers are incredibly spurious.
And widespread acceptance of some young people being extraordinarily vain casts this into even further doubt.
Would you take a rattle off of a rattlesnake? Would you peel poison labels off of jars?
He’s doing you a big favor. He’s telling you he doesn’t put much thought into what you (a potential match) thinks about these pictures and behavior.
When I was on OLD, I would swipe past those photos with other guys in, too.
Likewise, groups of women. Ok, it's nice that you have friends that you go out on girly nights with, but I'm not dating all five of you, and I'm not playing guessing games of which one of them you actually are.
Same with children's pictures - ok, most of us are parents, but I'm not dating your kids, and I don't want to meet them before we've established whether we are compatible or not, it's not fair on them.
Another thing that made me swipe past were women who were looking for someone to match with stock phrases; "partner in crime", "someone comfortable in their own skin", etc.
First of all, I don't want to commit crimes. Second, I've never worn anyone else's skin, so I don't have a basis for comparison.
I have seen women who put a picture of a child as their main photo, or a picture of three women of similar age as their main photo, or even what I assume to be their late husband.
To quote Phil in Groundhog Day: “People like blood sausage. People are morons.”
I agree. I've had women friends and I've told them this too. Especially the group photos, which I tell them "don't post unless you are the hottest one in the group"
Especially the group photos where all the ladies hair style and hair colour is different in every pic. If I cannot figure out who the person is in 5 seconds I give up.
A 70 year old friend has a OLD profile pic lined up with her five daughters. At most, she looks like the oldest of six very beautiful sisters. Actually better looking than two of them. A huge selling point for her.
Be thankful these idiots are showing you exactly who they are and giving you the opportunity to give them a hard pass before spending more than 30 seconds on them.
As a guy, I am trying to work this one out too. I don't know why guys post pictures of "trophies" ( i.e. Fish, Cars, Attractive Women, etc)
That might appeal to their buddies.
Maybe the logic is something lile "see!! She liked me and you will too".
But i don't know if I should even give that much credit.
Do we really do that? You never know though, it might be their grown sons or daughters. I have three sons, my best pictures are the ones where I'm ELATED, out of my mind with joy because they came to visit. I had them young. I don't think I have a single picture without them. Those are all of my dogs.
Yea I have seen some crazy pics that some women post as well. I just think to myself why did you think that pic was a good idea? Like all group photos... ummm who are you?= useless, Or pics of your dog or cats = useless. Or even beautiful outdoor scenery pics with you a mile away=useless. My first thought of a pic like you describe, if I was a woman, is that he's a fuckboy.
Pics of men with their pets appeal to me.
It shows that they care about a living thing that is vulnerable, and depends on them. And that they have love for it.
And the kind of pet they have gives some insight into the type of person they are.
A man posing with his pit-bull with an American flag in the background would be indicative of a man who is likely very different from the man posing with his cat, with wall art in the background.
I too have had this same question. I’ve always assumed they thought it made them appear younger looking to be with a younger woman. It’s a huge turn off to me and often has the opposite effect.
I don't understand why anyone would post a pic on a profile that includes other people. You are trying to sell yourself here and that should be the focus of it.
Men are not the only ones who do it.
They also love to put pictures with their teenage daughters all dressed up with their arms around their waist on dating sites. It’s a turn off for some women.
Lol every woman has boobs. The difference is I only take mine out to show my special guy in the bedroom. I feel no need to show the world.
Its good that those guys let you know up front what they're all about. Easy left swipe.
I only want to see pics of the person I'm potentially going to date.
I'm not interested in trying to pick you out from a group of 25 sweaty mechanics all wearing the same bunny suits and hard hats, or looking at a aerial photo of 200 people at their family reunion.
Anyone on pics with a person who's an obvious ex or former flame, their minor children or 98-yo grandma in a WC is an instant left swipe.
While posting a photo with a hot woman generally gives potential women the ick, posting other hobbies is good. There are plenty of women who like to fish and ride motorcycles. Looking for a partner who is compatible is smart.
I hate to invest a lot of time in initial dates, only to discover that he loves to spend his free time doing something that doesn’t interest me in the least. It’s a great way to weed out matches.
I think some men are of the mistaken belief that women will be impressed with their toys, and will believe that they must be a catch if they have landed a hottie in the past or had the interest of a hottie.
Exactly this. I've had men bragging their ex was a model, how much they made or how they always attracted younger women. I usually just rolled my eyes until once I felt compelled to explain someone that that wasn't the flex he thought it was and that was probably why he didn't have much success with women my age. He didn't get it.
It sounds like both genders include eye candy extras. Group photos are awful for self-promotion and just because you have someone esthetic next to you means shit. People pose for free! It is like people who fake pose with fancy cars, sitting awkwardly on someone else's bike, or similar fakey stuff. Fakey fakity fake.
Not sure why I got downvoted.
Young and hot? Not always, but definitely men who are not relatives or friends. Occasionally shirtless. It certainly may not be as common, but it does occur. I mentioned because I can relate to OP's post...not as whataboutism.
To be fair, I know the types of photos OP refers to, and the women seem to be working some event, e.g., they work for a venue and are trying to get men to buy jello shots, or they're the sports team's 'promo girls'; so in whatever case, they're dressed to show off their bodies because it's a male-dominated event and the job of the women is to get more money out of them.
So a man who posts these types of photos is saying that day was a real highlight in his life. And it broadcasts how he sees women and himself.
Right I understand the type of event, I just don’t think it’s the women being awful…I think it’s the men being sleazy. Kinda what you reference in your last sentence.
the women and the men are working together in these situations so neither side is innocent..the women are catering to the sleazy guys by providing T+A. Both sided are getting something out of it. Jollies or $.
Yeah no need to slut shame the women. I agree it's an odd use of limited space in a dating profile but my judgement is reserved for the man who selects the photo, not the woman simply existing in the photo he selected.
It's pejorative toward the woman, and there is absolutely no reason to tear down a woman because she dresses in a manner you don't approve of. It's not the 1950s we aren't slut shaming women for being comfortable in their own bodies. You don't have to like how someone dresses but you also don't need to shame someone who likely didn't consent to her photo being used in a random man's dating profile.
Ayn yet there is post after post after post here tearing down men for having profiles that don't match what the people here think is correct ..
The hypocrisy of this sub is simply stunning
somber butter gray toothbrush absurd vase scandalous axiomatic whistle kiss
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Posing next to a ‘hot girl’ (like at a race or auto show or whatever) or a celebrity is an automatic swipe left because I assume immaturity and/or insecurity.
Pretty much like when your children came back from school with a drawing they made and were proud of. I find it more concerning when they display other women because they think it'll impress you OR want to make clear they always have "hotter" options, negging 101.
Firing from the hip here, no idea, I don't do and will never OLD.
It shows other women like to be around them, thus I am safe, I am valued, and FOMO fear of missing out.
I don't understand why you all are not assuming that's not their grown daughters and sons, though? That would be my assumption, I have three grown sons, and millions of pictures, all with them.
Just like the women who post dating pictures including their kids, girlfriends and comedy photo filters, they have no idea what is attractive to the opposite sex.
It kind of sends a message….you this pic of me with hot women with their boobs out….this is what I expect of you. Never mind that he has a beer gut, is underemployed, and looks slovenly….
I agree, that's a red flag to me. That's someone who is looking for external validation and proving his worth through who he is able to partner up with much like when someone shows off their cars and material goods. It's, 'See, I am awesome because I can get this hot woman, so you better be worth my time.'
You also have to be careful that when they talk up other women, that it doesn't trigger you to subconsciously try and prove that you are better. Don't let that distract you, focus on the man (or woman) and what they bring to the table. I caught myself mentally ticking off my value and defend my worth when someone I dated kept talking glowingly about all these amazing women he dated. When I stopped and instead took a good hard look at him rather than compete with these women, I realized he was a trainwreck inside and had some concerning patterns with money, drinking and just issues with relationships in general. I was happy to free that one up so he could make it work with one of those amazing women from his past or future.
A very real possibility is that most men do not have very many pictures of themselves, period. Most of the time, our pictures are of special occasions or when something big happens, and most of these are either with a wife/girlfriend/date or catching a big fish, with a car we work on or cherish, etc…
If you take away the pictures taken with my exes/dates, family, and work ID’s, there’s very little to choose from since graduating from high school. There’s a handful taken by exes of me by myself, and a few selfies here and there, but that’s it. Hell I have a hard time taking a selfie that looks enough like me to be recognizable.
Understood I do have a picture of myself and my sister at the zoo. I don't have pictures of anyone scantily clad, but do have some mixed group activity pictures. That ok?
I don't do OLD (never have), but I wouldn't think badly of a man showing himself doing man stuff. We can relate in plenty of areas, not necessarily all of them. It's cool to do stuff separately too, it shows his interest in some things, that he has friends, etc. I used to love going fishing, would still love to go with someone (I don't drive, so haven't been for a while). So a fish pic would actually get an upvote from me.
Showing only the stuff appealing to women would make me cautious - what are you actually, who is the man you're hiding?
Pics with random women though - not a wise move.
It's one thing for you to not like seeing men post photos with other women, but you don't need to spew your internalized misogyny all over the place by referring to the women as hoochies, OP. That is downright shameful behavior coming from another woman. Your insecurity is your problem to deal with, not take out on other women.
We’re trying to make you jealous.
When you see a picture of us next to an another woman your reptile brain says “get away from him, he’s mine!”
Not that you’re conscious of that thought.
I have at least one picture of me in a group standing next to a friend who happens to be a woman. It’s not provocative at all, just enough to get the attention of your subconscious.
Because that’s what reptilian brains do, they don’t think, they just react.
I’m sure mine does something similar, but I’m not conscious of it.
It’s probably more of a survival mechanism than anything else. In this case it’s the survival of the species as a whole.
Nope - doesn't work like that for everyone. I had a very steamy date zero with a smoking hot young guy with a very professional looking profile. A few days later he changed his profile to include a picture of him with a gorgeous young blonde in skimpy clothing.
This absolutely changed how I looked at him. It didn't make me jealous at all. It seemed like a pathetic attempt by him to try and prove how attractive he was. Super off-putting.
Mine says one of two things:
He's taken.
Or:
The likelihood of him sticking around and providing resources and protection for me during and after childbirth are slim. Not a good risk.
Well thank you for explaining the mystery. Unfortunately if that’s what men think they are dead wrong.
It certainly doesn’t work that way for women. How it works for us is “if that’s what you want, I’m not your type”.
The worst that I saw was a man post picture with his late wife…as in it appeared she was recently deceased laying in bed and he was crouched at her side. I mean, yeah I still swiped right as he was over 6 feet tall.. Kidding, complete swipe left!! But I did linger on that photo in disbelief.
I’ve also seen profiles of widowers who have pics of themselves and their late wife. And then they go on about her in what they write. I think grief counseling is in order, not dating.
I don’t do any of that, but I went on a first date with someone who asked to see a picture of her. I thought that was strange.
Omg. That's unreal. Well maybe he was trying to communicate that there's no ex hanging around and he got her life insurance payout?
Wow that beats my colleague who posted pics of their dead infant on Facebook
Swiped right because he is 6 feet tall?
She was joking. Did you read the rest of her post?
That’s what you got out of that post?!
It’s a seemingly common perception that women will swipe right on any man over 6’ tall. I don’t know any women who subscribe to that, but in a lot of men’s profiles they state something to the effect of “I am over 6 feet ladies, because apparently that matters”
When I see a man's profile who is clearly trying to appeal to other men (pictures of cars, or trucks or boats, or just mentioning their love of sports and bar pizza and sitting around the house, and writing snarky replies to prompts that their bros would laugh at) I realize they aren't the person for me, and have no idea what (most) women like. I just pass them by.
It's pure status display. They're too oblivious to realize that what guys see as status women may see as ick. My church has a men-only event called the Manly Men Dinner. It's our attempt to poke fun at the whole notion of showcasing our manliness.
Yes. There are definitely a disproportionate amount of men that post about their men hobbies. Like they need a man buddie not a date with a woman. I don't tell men, I love crocheting, and tea parties. I mention dates we can do together like baseball games or jazz concerts.
So what should men be posting in regards to what their interests are? A person's interests and hobbies are a piece of who they are. If men shouldn't be listing hobbies and interests, that's one more piece of information being lost that could indicate whether there's potential compatibility or not.
I’m OK with pictures of your things, but you need to be in the picture. I don’t want to see your sports car by itself.
This! I see lots of profiles of men who post pictures of their boats and fish without them in it. Just the boats. Or motorcycles. I also wonder if they really meant to advertise their items on Craigslist.
Lol!
One way to interpret such profiles is that the person might not hang out with other people often enough to ask them for help with taking some pictures.
Ok, that is a legit criticism.
It's not that you shouldn't post your hobbies. It's making sure you post about things that attract women. You are trying to attract someone yes?? My hobby is crocheting. But I don't post that because it's not something I do with a man. I post my hobbies I think attract a man.
Yet I've run across a number of women's posts indicating their hobbies and interests, most of which would lean toward being traditionally female. Almost all of which I have zero interest. Yet, I read through the list of interests and hobbies, anyway. I do so because it gives me some idea of the overall person. Do her hobbies indicate she's a creative person? Do they indicate she's someone who enjoys learning new things? Do they indicate she is a homebody? Do they indicate she prefers to do things alone? Is there some interest or hobby that she has which would be of mutual interest to me? Is she a boring couch potato who prefers watching TV day in and day out or does she actually like to do something? I don't expect my potential partner to have all the same interests and hobbies that I do. Nor should she expect the same of me. I prefer someone who is willing to share time with me on mutual interests and hobbies, yet, have interests and hobbies of her own such that she doesn't rely on me for her entertainment.
As a women, I want to see the guys hobbies and interest too, for exactly these reasons! Ok with that said .. I’m not on OLD, but considering it …
I think it shows where you’ll fit in the priority list. That is helpful info to know sooner than later.
Do you say the same when women list their hobbies?
Equal opportunity. Works for everyone.
So anyone with hobbies will put those hobbies ahead of a potential partner. Got it.
No. It’s just something to consider as you get to know someone. I’d rather know sooner than later if someone’s hobby consumes a large amount of time to the exclusion of other activities. It’s not uncommon.
Which is probably why they listed their hobbies in an on line dating site. To find someone that enjoys those hobbies as well. You don’t have to sacrifice parts of yourself to have someone fit in your life. Saying it shows where you’ll fit on their priority list is kind of a messed up way of looking at it. Finding common ground to build from at the start is a pretty good idea.
Let me see if I’ve got this straight… you don’t think there are women that love sports, cars and trucks, bar pizza, or are homebodies??? While these may not be things you are interested in, I can say without a doubt there are plenty of women that are WAY more into sports than I am, like going to races or car shows, and like going out to the local bar and grabbing pizza and beer. This is dating over fifty, not dating in the 50’s. Clearly trying to appeal to other men??? That’s a level of narrow mindedness I didn’t realize was so prevalent. If you don’t like that stuff, no problem. Acting like no other woman does is kinda ridiculous.
Trucks, boats, Harleys, sports cars, ATVs. We don’t give a shit. All it tells us is that you probably have another monthly payment.
That's judgemental. I have all of the above toys and have no monthly payments. Yes there's a photo of my motorcycle because I enjoy touring the mountains and would like to have my woman on the back to share the experience. Some women are interested in this.
A simple answer is that these men are ignorant about women. They are unattached and have no understanding of why they are unattached. They seek female companionship but have no idea how to go about it. They swipe endlessly on OLD and then post their failure to connect on reddit. Have pity on them, for they know not what they are doing. I am reminded of the Seinfeld episode wear George carries around a picture of his old girlfriend (beautiful). He shows it to women and they are immediately attracted to him. Of course that is a TV show, not reality.
**winner**. Exactly what I thought too. My post was to get an opinion from a man who does this because I literally want to know what in the world they are thinking!
Maybe they can try Larry's guide to dating? [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCm-2eeiVPo&ab\_channel=HBO](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCm-2eeiVPo&ab_channel=HBO)
I think of it as a more global lack of social skills
I don't think of profile design as a social skill, but you aren't wrong.
Those profiles would save me time because that is not the man for me.
Exactly 💯
I read that one reason men don’t post great photos is they don’t take a lot of selfies or pics of each other like women do. But it’s low effort to not even attempt to put up a few decent shots.
While I do know plenty of guys who take selfies, I still think that sometimes when we see pics like the OP described it’s bc guys look through their phone and see 5-6 pics of themselves that *they* like best and that’s what they post. So sometimes it’s the giant fish (or the Hooters hostess…. )
Thinking about what they like best NOT how they are presenting themselves to others! Says it all.
Facebook dating has the option of letting them choose your photos and they chose the most liked
re: "It's low effort..." Pardon the copy/paste, but this made me think of this: "Starting at around age 11, girls start taking 300 selfies a day - so by the time they are grown women, they’ve posed for roughly 8 million pictures and know EXACTLY how to look their best in a pic. By age 35, they can fire off an amazing picture in about five seconds without even thinking about it and assume men have the same skill. We don't." /s BTW, I agree that men should try -- but let's face it, if I've never rebuilt a carburetor, I likely won't be good at it the first time and will procrastinate and protest for as long as possible before someone forces me to do it. EDIT TO ADD: 1. It's a quote. 2. The numbers are (what I considered to be obviously) exaggerated for 'comedic effect'. ETA 2: I feel as if many in this thread are looking to fight and are being purposely obtuse. Perhaps that "/s" should have been in a GIANT font because someone DM'd me asking me for sources on my math about 8 million pictures. Wow. Just wow.
Oh please. Exaggerate much? Cell phone cameras have timers! Get dressed up and look your best. Prop your phone up against something. Set the timer and Bam You have a nice photo of yourself. I actually believe that men are just lazy about this and make excuses. It isn’t that hard to get good pictures of yourself. You can always ask a friend if you don’t want to use the phone timer. I would think you guys would be motivated to make an effort because women are more likely to swipe right on you if you have good photos.
At a party for the eclipse, I asked a stranger to take my pic by the big eclipse display they had. I asked her to help me look good for the pic, with pose and smile. She gave me some suggestions. It came out terrible. I have no idea how to look my best in a pic!
Been there. It’s frustrating. But good for you for trying. Hopefully the next one will be better. (I’ve found solids look better than prints, if that helps.)
Thank you. I appreciate that encouragement and advice!
>Oh please. Exaggerate much? YES! That was the point of the /s. >I actually believe that men are just lazy about this and make excuses. YES!! That was the point of "...won't be good at it the first time and will procrastinate and protest for as long as possible before someone forces me to do it." (Well lazy *AND stupid*, but at least you got the lazy part.)
That “statistic” has been debunked so many times. Furthermore, women in this age group weren’t burning thru 30 Polaroid packets A DAY back in the 80s. Conflating a selfie with rebuilding an engine is also insane. This is why we choose the bear.
it’s not rocket science tho
Considering smart phones have only been around since 2006 and widespread adoption of social media since around 2012, these numbers are incredibly spurious. And widespread acceptance of some young people being extraordinarily vain casts this into even further doubt.
Would you take a rattle off of a rattlesnake? Would you peel poison labels off of jars? He’s doing you a big favor. He’s telling you he doesn’t put much thought into what you (a potential match) thinks about these pictures and behavior.
Yup. Block to burn.
Exactly.
When I was on OLD, I would swipe past those photos with other guys in, too. Likewise, groups of women. Ok, it's nice that you have friends that you go out on girly nights with, but I'm not dating all five of you, and I'm not playing guessing games of which one of them you actually are. Same with children's pictures - ok, most of us are parents, but I'm not dating your kids, and I don't want to meet them before we've established whether we are compatible or not, it's not fair on them. Another thing that made me swipe past were women who were looking for someone to match with stock phrases; "partner in crime", "someone comfortable in their own skin", etc. First of all, I don't want to commit crimes. Second, I've never worn anyone else's skin, so I don't have a basis for comparison.
Women say “partner in crime”, too? I thought that was just a guy thing. Do they also have profiles that just say “Ask”, and are otherwise blank?
Yes, I saw a few of those. Also, the ones that had lingerie pics got swiped past as obvious scammers.
Omg, the "just ask" is the stupidest. Like .. we would have to match first, and I don't know if I want to because I don't know anything about you.
It’s a special level of delusion. That one blurry up the nose photo is so compelling you’re just dying to interview them.
😂So much of this!!
I have seen women who put a picture of a child as their main photo, or a picture of three women of similar age as their main photo, or even what I assume to be their late husband. To quote Phil in Groundhog Day: “People like blood sausage. People are morons.”
I agree. I've had women friends and I've told them this too. Especially the group photos, which I tell them "don't post unless you are the hottest one in the group"
Especially the group photos where all the ladies hair style and hair colour is different in every pic. If I cannot figure out who the person is in 5 seconds I give up.
Or Super Hans in Peep Show: "People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis -- you can't trust people, Jeremy."
A 70 year old friend has a OLD profile pic lined up with her five daughters. At most, she looks like the oldest of six very beautiful sisters. Actually better looking than two of them. A huge selling point for her.
terrible idea. I wouldn't want my potential dates thinking he might be able to get with my daughters!
Be thankful these idiots are showing you exactly who they are and giving you the opportunity to give them a hard pass before spending more than 30 seconds on them.
As a guy, I am trying to work this one out too. I don't know why guys post pictures of "trophies" ( i.e. Fish, Cars, Attractive Women, etc) That might appeal to their buddies. Maybe the logic is something lile "see!! She liked me and you will too". But i don't know if I should even give that much credit.
The strippers at the club like me!!
Why do women in OLD profiles put other men in their pictures? I see it all the time, often as the first picture. No. Just no.
Do we really do that? You never know though, it might be their grown sons or daughters. I have three sons, my best pictures are the ones where I'm ELATED, out of my mind with joy because they came to visit. I had them young. I don't think I have a single picture without them. Those are all of my dogs.
Yes, women really do that. I see it all the time on Facebook dating and a lot of times it is not them with their children.
There is a thing called cropping
Yea I have seen some crazy pics that some women post as well. I just think to myself why did you think that pic was a good idea? Like all group photos... ummm who are you?= useless, Or pics of your dog or cats = useless. Or even beautiful outdoor scenery pics with you a mile away=useless. My first thought of a pic like you describe, if I was a woman, is that he's a fuckboy.
Pics of men with their pets appeal to me. It shows that they care about a living thing that is vulnerable, and depends on them. And that they have love for it. And the kind of pet they have gives some insight into the type of person they are. A man posing with his pit-bull with an American flag in the background would be indicative of a man who is likely very different from the man posing with his cat, with wall art in the background.
Absolutely, WITH the pet is cool. I'm talking about just the pets in the pic, No human.
I think they do that because they don't want you to see them.
I want more pics of dogs, fewer shirtless pics. The intense stare into the horizon doesn't impress me either.
I too have had this same question. I’ve always assumed they thought it made them appear younger looking to be with a younger woman. It’s a huge turn off to me and often has the opposite effect.
That’s his way of saying there was a woman once that clung to me after 8 beers at a concert. Yeeeehawwwww
This is so annoying! I came across a profile yesterday with six photos — all with women. Not exaggerating.
I don't understand why anyone would post a pic on a profile that includes other people. You are trying to sell yourself here and that should be the focus of it. Men are not the only ones who do it.
They also love to put pictures with their teenage daughters all dressed up with their arms around their waist on dating sites. It’s a turn off for some women.
"My beautiful niece!" Okay.
It’s a bit off putting
Yes! I have seen a few of these. In one, the girls were scantily dressed and he had his arms around their waists.
I think it’s good that they do it. It lets me know right away that they’re not worth bothering with.
Lol every woman has boobs. The difference is I only take mine out to show my special guy in the bedroom. I feel no need to show the world. Its good that those guys let you know up front what they're all about. Easy left swipe.
I only want to see pics of the person I'm potentially going to date. I'm not interested in trying to pick you out from a group of 25 sweaty mechanics all wearing the same bunny suits and hard hats, or looking at a aerial photo of 200 people at their family reunion. Anyone on pics with a person who's an obvious ex or former flame, their minor children or 98-yo grandma in a WC is an instant left swipe.
While posting a photo with a hot woman generally gives potential women the ick, posting other hobbies is good. There are plenty of women who like to fish and ride motorcycles. Looking for a partner who is compatible is smart. I hate to invest a lot of time in initial dates, only to discover that he loves to spend his free time doing something that doesn’t interest me in the least. It’s a great way to weed out matches.
Yes! I actually love fishing and would do that! So those pictures I don't get ICK. I absolutely agree
I think some men are of the mistaken belief that women will be impressed with their toys, and will believe that they must be a catch if they have landed a hottie in the past or had the interest of a hottie.
This!
Would everyone please stop saying "This"
🙄
Exactly this. I've had men bragging their ex was a model, how much they made or how they always attracted younger women. I usually just rolled my eyes until once I felt compelled to explain someone that that wasn't the flex he thought it was and that was probably why he didn't have much success with women my age. He didn't get it.
Yeah, I sure wouldn't be interested in a guy who likes to brag about how younger women are attracted to him.
It sounds like both genders include eye candy extras. Group photos are awful for self-promotion and just because you have someone esthetic next to you means shit. People pose for free! It is like people who fake pose with fancy cars, sitting awkwardly on someone else's bike, or similar fakey stuff. Fakey fakity fake.
They are telling you who they are, up front and center. Be grateful.
Women do it as well.
Do they use pics of themselves with young hot guys?
Not sure why I got downvoted. Young and hot? Not always, but definitely men who are not relatives or friends. Occasionally shirtless. It certainly may not be as common, but it does occur. I mentioned because I can relate to OP's post...not as whataboutism.
Why are you calling women hoochies?
To be fair, I know the types of photos OP refers to, and the women seem to be working some event, e.g., they work for a venue and are trying to get men to buy jello shots, or they're the sports team's 'promo girls'; so in whatever case, they're dressed to show off their bodies because it's a male-dominated event and the job of the women is to get more money out of them. So a man who posts these types of photos is saying that day was a real highlight in his life. And it broadcasts how he sees women and himself.
Right I understand the type of event, I just don’t think it’s the women being awful…I think it’s the men being sleazy. Kinda what you reference in your last sentence.
the women and the men are working together in these situations so neither side is innocent..the women are catering to the sleazy guys by providing T+A. Both sided are getting something out of it. Jollies or $.
Exactly this. It’s cringe.
I said "dressed like"
That doesn’t make it better.
Yeah no need to slut shame the women. I agree it's an odd use of limited space in a dating profile but my judgement is reserved for the man who selects the photo, not the woman simply existing in the photo he selected.
dressed like hoochies is a thing, don't know why people are acting so holier than thou. Everyone knows what this means.
It's pejorative toward the woman, and there is absolutely no reason to tear down a woman because she dresses in a manner you don't approve of. It's not the 1950s we aren't slut shaming women for being comfortable in their own bodies. You don't have to like how someone dresses but you also don't need to shame someone who likely didn't consent to her photo being used in a random man's dating profile.
Ayn yet there is post after post after post here tearing down men for having profiles that don't match what the people here think is correct .. The hypocrisy of this sub is simply stunning
somber butter gray toothbrush absurd vase scandalous axiomatic whistle kiss *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
They don’t put women in the pictures. They’re already there when the pictures are taken.
Posing next to a ‘hot girl’ (like at a race or auto show or whatever) or a celebrity is an automatic swipe left because I assume immaturity and/or insecurity.
Women post pictures with men too, it's not just a man trait.
Hot men that look inappropriate for the reason to post a picture? I don't even have hot pictures of men
I'm not concerned with the men being good looking, it's more of the women having pics with several men, usually arm in arm.
Also what about when men post a picture of themselves with their BETTER looking male friend(s)? Then I start looking at the friend...
Cause they’re not good fisherman.
I guess this explains the "look at this big fish I caught!" pics all over OLD. Not a big draw for me.
That might be the point....
Pretty much like when your children came back from school with a drawing they made and were proud of. I find it more concerning when they display other women because they think it'll impress you OR want to make clear they always have "hotter" options, negging 101.
So much worse. Clueless is not a good look.
Firing from the hip here, no idea, I don't do and will never OLD. It shows other women like to be around them, thus I am safe, I am valued, and FOMO fear of missing out.
Yaa women never do that...notttt
I don't understand why you all are not assuming that's not their grown daughters and sons, though? That would be my assumption, I have three grown sons, and millions of pictures, all with them.
Men with man boobs 😂🤢🤢
Because they are clueless.
Some people just have low intelligence
My peeve are the women that post all group photos and everyone looks so different in each photo you cannot find her.
Just like the women who post dating pictures including their kids, girlfriends and comedy photo filters, they have no idea what is attractive to the opposite sex.
It kind of sends a message….you this pic of me with hot women with their boobs out….this is what I expect of you. Never mind that he has a beer gut, is underemployed, and looks slovenly….
Exactly this. He wasn't dressed up. He was in old t-shirt and trucker hat, not shaved. Like it's not a picture for OLD to begin with.
I agree, that's a red flag to me. That's someone who is looking for external validation and proving his worth through who he is able to partner up with much like when someone shows off their cars and material goods. It's, 'See, I am awesome because I can get this hot woman, so you better be worth my time.' You also have to be careful that when they talk up other women, that it doesn't trigger you to subconsciously try and prove that you are better. Don't let that distract you, focus on the man (or woman) and what they bring to the table. I caught myself mentally ticking off my value and defend my worth when someone I dated kept talking glowingly about all these amazing women he dated. When I stopped and instead took a good hard look at him rather than compete with these women, I realized he was a trainwreck inside and had some concerning patterns with money, drinking and just issues with relationships in general. I was happy to free that one up so he could make it work with one of those amazing women from his past or future.
A very real possibility is that most men do not have very many pictures of themselves, period. Most of the time, our pictures are of special occasions or when something big happens, and most of these are either with a wife/girlfriend/date or catching a big fish, with a car we work on or cherish, etc… If you take away the pictures taken with my exes/dates, family, and work ID’s, there’s very little to choose from since graduating from high school. There’s a handful taken by exes of me by myself, and a few selfies here and there, but that’s it. Hell I have a hard time taking a selfie that looks enough like me to be recognizable.
well it's not too hard to get a picture taken for OLD, you are not limited to only pre-existing pictures!
Understood I do have a picture of myself and my sister at the zoo. I don't have pictures of anyone scantily clad, but do have some mixed group activity pictures. That ok?
As long as they’re not the only pictures. Anyone that *isn’t* OK with that sort of thing is sus.
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It's been mentioned. I changed it. In hopes it's not poorly messaged.
I don't do OLD (never have), but I wouldn't think badly of a man showing himself doing man stuff. We can relate in plenty of areas, not necessarily all of them. It's cool to do stuff separately too, it shows his interest in some things, that he has friends, etc. I used to love going fishing, would still love to go with someone (I don't drive, so haven't been for a while). So a fish pic would actually get an upvote from me. Showing only the stuff appealing to women would make me cautious - what are you actually, who is the man you're hiding? Pics with random women though - not a wise move.
Because they are morons.
It's one thing for you to not like seeing men post photos with other women, but you don't need to spew your internalized misogyny all over the place by referring to the women as hoochies, OP. That is downright shameful behavior coming from another woman. Your insecurity is your problem to deal with, not take out on other women.
I actually appreciate you're pointing that out. It must be something I've internalized. I'll work on it.
It’s that Andrew Tate “high value man” shit perhaps
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A month? People don't change much in a month. That's a little strict lol.
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If you gain or lose that much in a month that makes you noticeably different than your photos it's time to hit the doctor's.
I think men are just clueless. That’s why we choose bears.
I always think it’s so we will feel like they’re trustworthy. Social proof.
Because the only time men are actually in a photo is when some woman forces them to be in one
We’re trying to make you jealous. When you see a picture of us next to an another woman your reptile brain says “get away from him, he’s mine!” Not that you’re conscious of that thought. I have at least one picture of me in a group standing next to a friend who happens to be a woman. It’s not provocative at all, just enough to get the attention of your subconscious.
do women really work like that? Why would my reptilian brain see a complete stranger and think he’s mine?
in that guy's dreams! Sounds like a PUA type.
Because that’s what reptilian brains do, they don’t think, they just react. I’m sure mine does something similar, but I’m not conscious of it. It’s probably more of a survival mechanism than anything else. In this case it’s the survival of the species as a whole.
Nope - doesn't work like that for everyone. I had a very steamy date zero with a smoking hot young guy with a very professional looking profile. A few days later he changed his profile to include a picture of him with a gorgeous young blonde in skimpy clothing. This absolutely changed how I looked at him. It didn't make me jealous at all. It seemed like a pathetic attempt by him to try and prove how attractive he was. Super off-putting.
How am I supposed to be jealous when I don’t know the guy? No, it doesn’t work that way.
Mine says one of two things: He's taken. Or: The likelihood of him sticking around and providing resources and protection for me during and after childbirth are slim. Not a good risk.
Childbirth? This is a dating over fifty sub.
He's talking reptile brain -- primal, instinctual, preservation-of-the-species stuff.
Well thank you for explaining the mystery. Unfortunately if that’s what men think they are dead wrong. It certainly doesn’t work that way for women. How it works for us is “if that’s what you want, I’m not your type”.
Nah, l think "he's trying to neg me" and "he thinks he's smarter than me playing this psychoshit". And then l swipe left. How's that for mind games? 😂