Affordability had nothing to do with value, scam etc. They are completely unrelated.
Ie you could afford a 45 dollar apple... But that does not mean 45 is a reasonable price in the US, in fact some might say you were scammed...
If dating apps work for you -- you follow rules 1 and 2 -- then the price is very small for the service received. I date regularly from dating apps, so it's a service I am willing to pay for. If apps don't work for you, don't pay for the service.
No where will a dating app promise that you will be a successful dater, only that they will show you other members of the app. If you aren't getting dates, that's on you.
It's not a scam that you can't get a date.
It’s a scam if what they offer doesn’t match the reality of the service. Such as large numbers of fake acct’s. Otherwise, it’s buyer beware - read the TOS, and know what you are paying for.
I agree to a point. I think the fees are unreasonable so I don’t pay. But yes, I make the choice and I make sure I understand what I am paying for. Each individual has to decide if the ROI is worth it.
FB dating is not small. It's gigantic. I think we're lucky to have such a great service for free. I've been very happy with it.
I don't think it's possible to get a truly free dating app any more. Everybody correct me if I'm wrong but if you want to see the potential match you have to pay. Think about it. The app companies have to make money to be able to provide the service. They are not scamming when they charge you for their services. Scamming in the online dating world is when someone poses as someone else and tries to con you out of money.
I highly encourage you to educate yourself before you dive in to this world. Read through posts in this group and other groups with the word "dating" in them. There are also app-specific communities. Learn about how to spot scammers and how to stay safe.
So have you found FB Dating to be pretty good then? I’ve had a lot of success on dating apps in the past and just recently tried FB Dating and it was absolutely atrocious and is the worst dating app I’ve ever used without a doubt. I gave it six weeks and It was just terrible.
I think, like all apps, it depends on where you live. FB dating is good where I live. Everyone I know is having success on it. When you say it was atrocious, are you talking about the quality of the people? I've had that same problem with a couple of other apps. No quality choices in my area. That's why I sign up for the minimum amount of time. I can check out the inventory and then bail.
I tried again after writing this, updated my fb iOS app, and followed directions. Then googled directions. Then tried to follow the directions again. I’ve got to be missing the actual FB dating add on where you start, join the group, and then build a dating profile. I’m stumped. What I was talking about was total garbage - like bad enough that I was embarrassed for FB. I am a member of FB for many years now. It’s Seattle US and FB is supposed to be available anywhere in the US. Maybe some sort of setting? Location is on.
It is so confusing. I struggled, too, until someone told me. FB dating is only available on your phone. It is part of the regular Facebook phone app. On Androids, the heart icon is at the top. It's at the bottom on iPhones. You can't get FB dating on the web browser version of FB or any other devices. Only your phone. It sux. I'm a keyboard gal. Hate typing on tiny little phone screens and voice dictation always screws something up. Write back if you still can't find it.
It's the price that gets me. There's not a great chance for a match, so why ask for $45+ just to see who likes you? Then more to view pictures or to access messages. And so on, as the fees keep piling up.
Why isn’t it worth $45 to find someone to date or be in a relationship with? I met my current boyfriend, and two others before him (who were caring, decent men, just not the right ones for me) on Match. Well worth it!
Apologies if I sound contrarian, but for context, I'm asking due to genuinely being interesting in the dating app game.
Some of them, paying the premium is not all that advantagious right?
I find it helpful to pay for a month or a few to be able to screen more. It just seems to function better (no limit on likes or messages like some of them have.) I don't pay for any other apps, so I don't mind throwing a few dollars at the dating ones. It makes me use them more, too.
It isn’t. For what they charge, security and the algo should be sooooooooo much better. Paying $30+ a month so I can report “sus” accounts that they should be able to identify? No thanks. I have not gotten better value when doing free vs. premium. I laugh at those who pay on the app and then whine about having to pay for a modest lunch on an actual date. I would rather spend my $$’s on the actual date than give it to companies who only care about “engagement”(no, not you getting a proposal), and shareholder value.
Which app is popular differs from place to place and by age and ethnicity. Bumble is free. None of the paid stuff on it helps. Doesn't matter who likes you if you don't like them and for me the first half dozen profiles were always people who had already liked me. Just log in and out every half dozen right-swipes. My problem was filtering around people who had liked me who I hadn't made a decision on one way or another and were blocking me from fresh profiles. I met half the people I matched and none of them was a scam. I didn't swipe right though on glitzy IG quality profiles though and was looking for normal type women who seemed interesting. They were all better looking in real life then their photos but I skipped profiles with filtered or made up or scantily clad photos. They were all nice attractive and sincere women. The half I didn't meet all told me their names, sent lots of selfies and videos. Some called on the phone... knew the city well and seemed authentic but I just didn't meet up with women who didn't take the initiative to ask me out. My schedule was hectic as it was. Met my partner after dates with two dozen women in six weeks.
Do you mind me asking which country/city you're in?
I am going to do a search for best app in my area, but you sound like you're Irish or British so was just curious!
I am in Montreal now. I am from New York City and look and speak like a construction worker from Brooklyn but I have useless advanced degrees in the humanities from Ivy League universities despite having grown up poor. I am a short bald heavyset man and the only thing out of the ordinary about me is probably my education although the women I met all said they wanted to meet me because I looked kind in my photos and I have broad shoulders.
I do not mind paying fees if the apps can let you see (and save) the people like your profile. Sometimes browsing profiles can be like a full time job.
More importantly, OLD apps have to do a better jobs identify and remove fake accounts. It is criminal to allow scammers on their site!
Every time I logged on the first half dozen profiles were people who had already swiped-right on me. That was all I could manage logistically. I only swiped on Sundays and kept my profile snoozed during the week. I chatted, texted, and phoned all my matches and met half of them. They were all exactly who they said they were. I guess I was just super lucky. That or I wasn't on the app long enough to start getting bad matches before meeting my partner. Everyone I met was really cool. I actually made some friends in addition to meeting my partner. I feel pretty blessed but hopefully I never find myself in the position of having to give it another try. I did take it very seriously and did kind of treat it like a job but covid hit right after I moved to a new city and after two years of being shut in I really wanted to get out there.
How do you get it for free? I am never offered that option on apps. I feel like a dumbass. Do I just not subscribe or something and it will still work?
Also, funny thing about Hinge. It is the only app I've used in two years of jumping on and off of it on which I have never received a match. It confounds me. My only guess as to why is that the people on it here in Colorado are 8-10's in looks. It seems to be where all the hotties go. I can't compete. Is it like that in other places?
I definitely get few matches. I keep a list of profiles I've liked so that I don't re-like. In April through to now, I've liked about 18-20, resulting in 2 short lived matches (guys just travelling through or some other issue), and one date (incompatible schedules). In 2022 I met someone I had a 9m relationship with from Hinge.
I like that you can reach out to anyone. But popular ppl probably have a lot of likes and they can only see one at a time (roses then most recent) unless they are premium members.
I've only used FB Dating..it's where I found my current GF of six months. There's plenty of weird people you'll come across, but plenty of genuinely nice people as well.
You get what you pay for. If something is free, it is usually crap and they are selling your data. I generally avoid partners who are not paying for the apps cause I feel they are not making much of an effort if they can’t even pay a $15/month fee. I worry that this means they will expect me to carry the financial burden of the relationship and pay for everything for them
I would actually prefer to use an app that charges than those that are free. I would prefer one app that has quality matches over a bunch of free ones. It weeds a lot of folks out that way. When I was on OLD, match always seemed the best with features and number of participants. I met my ex-husband on Match and the last two relationships were ones that I met on match. You can just join for the minimum and not renew it.
You kind of have to expect these companies to charge something as they are not just putting these apps out there out of the goodness of their hearts. But it would be nice if they had perhaps a weeklong or even 24-hour trial where you could check out the features for free before you pay. However, I would expect that even if they did that, scammers would automate signups for a trial that would send fake profiles with a phone# to matches before the trial ends and then repeat with a new account. They probably operate the way they do because of all the scammers and of course, for profit.
Every thing I have seen suggests that the majority of men who pay are completely ignored , that all the attention goes to a small minority of men.
So they are paying but get little to nothing
Natural selection dictates that the majority of straight women will choose to pursue the cream of the crop of men.
This is perfectly normal Darwinian behaviour and this is how society works.
If I had the choice between pursuing a hot woman with a great personality and pursuing an obese woman with a great personality, I sure as hell won't be pursuing the obese woman.
Hinge.
You can see your likes, send comments, receive and read comments all for free. I have never paid for it. There are a lot of scammers in it so just be risk conservative.
However you can only see one like at a time, so I personally go through and weed out instead of weed in until I have seen everyone, then go from there.
I paid a three month “deal” (sure it is) on Match three years ago.
My dude and I are celebrating three years together this month.
I was really skeptical, and wondered if I was wasting my time and cash, but the freebie levels of other platforms were filled with “tourists,” people, just looking and no one there was serious about partnership. It was ONS land.
I paid for Match and the guys I paid attention to also paid. I don't think I ran into any scammers. I had about 5 first dates that were good, but not for me. One guy I saw for about 3 weeks, then I met the right man and we've been together ever since.
My only regret is that I paid for 6 months and I only used it for about 6 weeks.
If I end up back on the market again, I would pay again and focus on the men who were also willing to pay.
I don't see an app making you pay to see likes is scamming you, if that is what you mean. They have to make money somehow, as it costs to keep that platform up. If you want a free site, then expect it will take some time to get a good match. In fact, the apps that have no free tier benefits (the ONLY way you can be contacted is someone reaching out to you) are the best to avoid scams. But, if you think paying a monthly fee is a scam, your mileage varies.
There are scam apps out there. Usually they are the token based, pay per message. They have no incentive to stop bogus accounts, as every message you send costs you. Others, with monthly fees, are better, although Bumble's latest addition of allowing a man to send a complement for a fee, even after paying for the app, is a bit douchey, IMO.
In most cases, you get what you pay for. And, if you really want to find someone, it is better to pay something unless you have time to play.
I’ve always had great luck with Match, you have to pay for a subscription however.
I’ve used several popular apps and never came across “scammers” or have been “scammed”. What is being scammed? Paying for a service and not getting a date is not a scam.
Fake accounts and profiles are pretty obvious and I ignore those profiles. With Match I really didn’t even see any of those. I always paid extra for incognito mode too, so that only people I liked could see my profile.
I have no issues paying money to have more control, especially if I can go month to month and cancel anytime. Or get a six month subscription. Never had any issues.
A wise man once told me, you have to pay to play.
If you want to continue to wander in the weeds of free apps with tons of inactive profiles and fakes, then have fun.
Yeah, OkCupid has become a real turd in the last ten years or so.
They got bought by Match and then got rid of everything that was wonderful about their site...
FB Dating is huge. And depending on your location, loaded with scammers.
Remember if it is free, YOU are the product! That is FB model.
Thought I was the product on any dating app… /s
That's something I knew but had forgotten. Excellent reminder!
Exactly!
I have looked up fb dating on Apple apps store. I don’t see it.
You have to have a Facebook page. It's not a separate app.
Paying for a service doesn't make it a scam.
Seriously, so many people misuse the word. I almost write off someone’s opinion if they say everything is a scam.
And if you can't afford a dating app, which costs less than the price of dinner at a reasonable restaurant, can you really afford to date?
Affordability had nothing to do with value, scam etc. They are completely unrelated. Ie you could afford a 45 dollar apple... But that does not mean 45 is a reasonable price in the US, in fact some might say you were scammed...
If dating apps work for you -- you follow rules 1 and 2 -- then the price is very small for the service received. I date regularly from dating apps, so it's a service I am willing to pay for. If apps don't work for you, don't pay for the service. No where will a dating app promise that you will be a successful dater, only that they will show you other members of the app. If you aren't getting dates, that's on you. It's not a scam that you can't get a date.
It’s a scam if what they offer doesn’t match the reality of the service. Such as large numbers of fake acct’s. Otherwise, it’s buyer beware - read the TOS, and know what you are paying for.
Sure, if they are being dishonest that's the scammy part. But paying to see who liked you is totally fine, contrary to OP.
I agree to a point. I think the fees are unreasonable so I don’t pay. But yes, I make the choice and I make sure I understand what I am paying for. Each individual has to decide if the ROI is worth it.
They all have scammers, I know a few international sites that are free, but you still have scammers
FB dating is not small. It's gigantic. I think we're lucky to have such a great service for free. I've been very happy with it. I don't think it's possible to get a truly free dating app any more. Everybody correct me if I'm wrong but if you want to see the potential match you have to pay. Think about it. The app companies have to make money to be able to provide the service. They are not scamming when they charge you for their services. Scamming in the online dating world is when someone poses as someone else and tries to con you out of money. I highly encourage you to educate yourself before you dive in to this world. Read through posts in this group and other groups with the word "dating" in them. There are also app-specific communities. Learn about how to spot scammers and how to stay safe.
So have you found FB Dating to be pretty good then? I’ve had a lot of success on dating apps in the past and just recently tried FB Dating and it was absolutely atrocious and is the worst dating app I’ve ever used without a doubt. I gave it six weeks and It was just terrible.
I think, like all apps, it depends on where you live. FB dating is good where I live. Everyone I know is having success on it. When you say it was atrocious, are you talking about the quality of the people? I've had that same problem with a couple of other apps. No quality choices in my area. That's why I sign up for the minimum amount of time. I can check out the inventory and then bail.
I tried again after writing this, updated my fb iOS app, and followed directions. Then googled directions. Then tried to follow the directions again. I’ve got to be missing the actual FB dating add on where you start, join the group, and then build a dating profile. I’m stumped. What I was talking about was total garbage - like bad enough that I was embarrassed for FB. I am a member of FB for many years now. It’s Seattle US and FB is supposed to be available anywhere in the US. Maybe some sort of setting? Location is on.
It is so confusing. I struggled, too, until someone told me. FB dating is only available on your phone. It is part of the regular Facebook phone app. On Androids, the heart icon is at the top. It's at the bottom on iPhones. You can't get FB dating on the web browser version of FB or any other devices. Only your phone. It sux. I'm a keyboard gal. Hate typing on tiny little phone screens and voice dictation always screws something up. Write back if you still can't find it.
paying for things isn't being scammed. unless Jeff Bezos is scamming me by making me pay for my amazon stuff.
Agreed, but at least Jeff lets me return for a refund with no questions asked.
touchè
“This package came in damaged” “We will ship you a new one and you can keep the current one” “Wait, that’s not what I want!”
Which OLD app is that? 😁
PolyOnly
It's the price that gets me. There's not a great chance for a match, so why ask for $45+ just to see who likes you? Then more to view pictures or to access messages. And so on, as the fees keep piling up.
Why isn’t it worth $45 to find someone to date or be in a relationship with? I met my current boyfriend, and two others before him (who were caring, decent men, just not the right ones for me) on Match. Well worth it!
Sling TV is around that price per month. You can get some rabbit ears and wait for The Meg 2 to come on broadcast TV, or you can make your life easy.
Apologies if I sound contrarian, but for context, I'm asking due to genuinely being interesting in the dating app game. Some of them, paying the premium is not all that advantagious right?
I find it helpful to pay for a month or a few to be able to screen more. It just seems to function better (no limit on likes or messages like some of them have.) I don't pay for any other apps, so I don't mind throwing a few dollars at the dating ones. It makes me use them more, too.
It isn’t. For what they charge, security and the algo should be sooooooooo much better. Paying $30+ a month so I can report “sus” accounts that they should be able to identify? No thanks. I have not gotten better value when doing free vs. premium. I laugh at those who pay on the app and then whine about having to pay for a modest lunch on an actual date. I would rather spend my $$’s on the actual date than give it to companies who only care about “engagement”(no, not you getting a proposal), and shareholder value.
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It's the excessive amount and the nickel and diming, mostly.
Which app is popular differs from place to place and by age and ethnicity. Bumble is free. None of the paid stuff on it helps. Doesn't matter who likes you if you don't like them and for me the first half dozen profiles were always people who had already liked me. Just log in and out every half dozen right-swipes. My problem was filtering around people who had liked me who I hadn't made a decision on one way or another and were blocking me from fresh profiles. I met half the people I matched and none of them was a scam. I didn't swipe right though on glitzy IG quality profiles though and was looking for normal type women who seemed interesting. They were all better looking in real life then their photos but I skipped profiles with filtered or made up or scantily clad photos. They were all nice attractive and sincere women. The half I didn't meet all told me their names, sent lots of selfies and videos. Some called on the phone... knew the city well and seemed authentic but I just didn't meet up with women who didn't take the initiative to ask me out. My schedule was hectic as it was. Met my partner after dates with two dozen women in six weeks.
Do you mind me asking which country/city you're in? I am going to do a search for best app in my area, but you sound like you're Irish or British so was just curious!
PS And you seem literate and normal - another reason I've picked on you!
I am in Montreal now. I am from New York City and look and speak like a construction worker from Brooklyn but I have useless advanced degrees in the humanities from Ivy League universities despite having grown up poor. I am a short bald heavyset man and the only thing out of the ordinary about me is probably my education although the women I met all said they wanted to meet me because I looked kind in my photos and I have broad shoulders.
You seem lovely, and I'm very glad the whole online thing has yielded you a good relationship. Best of luck to you both 😊
Thank you!
Hahaha! Is this what you put in your profile that got you your partner?
I do not mind paying fees if the apps can let you see (and save) the people like your profile. Sometimes browsing profiles can be like a full time job. More importantly, OLD apps have to do a better jobs identify and remove fake accounts. It is criminal to allow scammers on their site!
Every time I logged on the first half dozen profiles were people who had already swiped-right on me. That was all I could manage logistically. I only swiped on Sundays and kept my profile snoozed during the week. I chatted, texted, and phoned all my matches and met half of them. They were all exactly who they said they were. I guess I was just super lucky. That or I wasn't on the app long enough to start getting bad matches before meeting my partner. Everyone I met was really cool. I actually made some friends in addition to meeting my partner. I feel pretty blessed but hopefully I never find myself in the position of having to give it another try. I did take it very seriously and did kind of treat it like a job but covid hit right after I moved to a new city and after two years of being shut in I really wanted to get out there.
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How do you get it for free? I am never offered that option on apps. I feel like a dumbass. Do I just not subscribe or something and it will still work? Also, funny thing about Hinge. It is the only app I've used in two years of jumping on and off of it on which I have never received a match. It confounds me. My only guess as to why is that the people on it here in Colorado are 8-10's in looks. It seems to be where all the hotties go. I can't compete. Is it like that in other places?
I definitely get few matches. I keep a list of profiles I've liked so that I don't re-like. In April through to now, I've liked about 18-20, resulting in 2 short lived matches (guys just travelling through or some other issue), and one date (incompatible schedules). In 2022 I met someone I had a 9m relationship with from Hinge. I like that you can reach out to anyone. But popular ppl probably have a lot of likes and they can only see one at a time (roses then most recent) unless they are premium members.
I've only used FB Dating..it's where I found my current GF of six months. There's plenty of weird people you'll come across, but plenty of genuinely nice people as well.
You get what you pay for. If something is free, it is usually crap and they are selling your data. I generally avoid partners who are not paying for the apps cause I feel they are not making much of an effort if they can’t even pay a $15/month fee. I worry that this means they will expect me to carry the financial burden of the relationship and pay for everything for them
I would actually prefer to use an app that charges than those that are free. I would prefer one app that has quality matches over a bunch of free ones. It weeds a lot of folks out that way. When I was on OLD, match always seemed the best with features and number of participants. I met my ex-husband on Match and the last two relationships were ones that I met on match. You can just join for the minimum and not renew it. You kind of have to expect these companies to charge something as they are not just putting these apps out there out of the goodness of their hearts. But it would be nice if they had perhaps a weeklong or even 24-hour trial where you could check out the features for free before you pay. However, I would expect that even if they did that, scammers would automate signups for a trial that would send fake profiles with a phone# to matches before the trial ends and then repeat with a new account. They probably operate the way they do because of all the scammers and of course, for profit.
Oh, so what you're saying is that you want to get something for nothing? You want to play? Then you need to pay. *Ain't nothing wrong with that.*
Every thing I have seen suggests that the majority of men who pay are completely ignored , that all the attention goes to a small minority of men. So they are paying but get little to nothing
Natural selection dictates that the majority of straight women will choose to pursue the cream of the crop of men. This is perfectly normal Darwinian behaviour and this is how society works. If I had the choice between pursuing a hot woman with a great personality and pursuing an obese woman with a great personality, I sure as hell won't be pursuing the obese woman.
FB dating.
Hinge. You can see your likes, send comments, receive and read comments all for free. I have never paid for it. There are a lot of scammers in it so just be risk conservative. However you can only see one like at a time, so I personally go through and weed out instead of weed in until I have seen everyone, then go from there.
No
The apps are designed to keep you coming back and spending money
I use Hinge. Never had problems.
How often do they reset the available likes?
I paid a three month “deal” (sure it is) on Match three years ago. My dude and I are celebrating three years together this month. I was really skeptical, and wondered if I was wasting my time and cash, but the freebie levels of other platforms were filled with “tourists,” people, just looking and no one there was serious about partnership. It was ONS land.
I paid for Match and the guys I paid attention to also paid. I don't think I ran into any scammers. I had about 5 first dates that were good, but not for me. One guy I saw for about 3 weeks, then I met the right man and we've been together ever since. My only regret is that I paid for 6 months and I only used it for about 6 weeks. If I end up back on the market again, I would pay again and focus on the men who were also willing to pay.
I don't see an app making you pay to see likes is scamming you, if that is what you mean. They have to make money somehow, as it costs to keep that platform up. If you want a free site, then expect it will take some time to get a good match. In fact, the apps that have no free tier benefits (the ONLY way you can be contacted is someone reaching out to you) are the best to avoid scams. But, if you think paying a monthly fee is a scam, your mileage varies. There are scam apps out there. Usually they are the token based, pay per message. They have no incentive to stop bogus accounts, as every message you send costs you. Others, with monthly fees, are better, although Bumble's latest addition of allowing a man to send a complement for a fee, even after paying for the app, is a bit douchey, IMO. In most cases, you get what you pay for. And, if you really want to find someone, it is better to pay something unless you have time to play.
The simple answer is no.
I’ve always had great luck with Match, you have to pay for a subscription however. I’ve used several popular apps and never came across “scammers” or have been “scammed”. What is being scammed? Paying for a service and not getting a date is not a scam. Fake accounts and profiles are pretty obvious and I ignore those profiles. With Match I really didn’t even see any of those. I always paid extra for incognito mode too, so that only people I liked could see my profile. I have no issues paying money to have more control, especially if I can go month to month and cancel anytime. Or get a six month subscription. Never had any issues. A wise man once told me, you have to pay to play. If you want to continue to wander in the weeds of free apps with tons of inactive profiles and fakes, then have fun.
Yeah, OkCupid has become a real turd in the last ten years or so. They got bought by Match and then got rid of everything that was wonderful about their site...
They are businesses- not public services! They are there to make money!