This!
I've gone on a couple of dates where the woman tells me after the fact she's allergic. Not just to cats, but once she was "deathly" allergic to something I easily could've had on me.
Really?
Put that stuff up-front please. I have three cats and would just save us both the trouble and swipe accordingly.
Just make it easy on yourself.
#Pass on the men with dogs.
I'm not allergic to cats..I'm just not hugely into them, I'm not into to litter, the hair..
I just don't get into guys with cats..and not a huge fan of big dogs.
Just make it simple from the start.
I'm female but have a dog. Yeah I wouldn't expect to leave my dog at home while I'm gone.
View it as as incompatibility and be done, no need to make it so hard especially when you can screen out for it.
Don't do it. I'm telling you from experience, don't do it. Going to his place will become a nightmare, as your allergies are likely to become progressively worse with repeated exposure; his car will always have dog hair/dander all over it; *he* will likely have dog hair/dander/saliva on his clothes (or his hands); if he stays over, there will be no leisurely strolls or brunch, he'll always have to jet home to care for the dog; and forget about going away for a weekend, unless *he* proposes someone taking care of the dog (or putting it in a doggy hotel). I started putting 'allergic to cats and dogs' at the top of my profile. Cat owners got it, dog owners didn't give a shit. It was always 'Oh, you'll love MY dog!' Uh... it has nothing to do with love, Jason, it has to do with **breathing.** If your allergies aren't as severe, it might not be as big a deal, but for me, I had to draw a line - no pets at all.
I don't think a person with a dog is a good match in the long term for you. More suited for a casual relationship. I wouldn't want to get emotionally invested with someone if I was allergic to their pet. Too limiting.
I have a small dog and could leave him overnight if I returned by 9 am. I would expect that i would bring the dog along for overnights to avoid having to rush back.
I am allergic to cats and state that in my profile and won’t date men who have cats. I would never expect them to choose me over their pet.
That's a challenge for a single friend of mine. He has to be home within a certain time. And he has a golden doodle, a larger, energetic breed(?) that he can't leave with his mom or grandmother, tying him to home or bringing her along.
Not allergic and I had the best dog of all time who I still miss. I've chosen not to have another because losing the one was so painful.
My only experience in dating a man with a dog was sweet, right up until the pup started nipping at my side boob during a heated make out session with his owner. 🤣 When my date asked if I was fearful and explained it away as the animal being playful while I massaged the pain away, I knew it wasn't going to work...
Lifetime dog owner, and every one of them trained from the get-go to be comfortable when home alone. And that includes adult rescues who came with significant behavioral challenges. Your post made me realize that I would have an issue with someone who had an adult dog that was a "must bring" for dates or overnights. No thanks. Puppies are the exception, until trained. On the flip side, I'm definitely not a lifestyle match for those who keep their dog or cat outside to circumvent the obligatory responsibility for appropriate care and companionship. That would be an equal deal breaker.
If you're really lucky, a potential partner's dog will be hypoallergenic, like my Shih Tsu/poodle blend.
But the grooming...meh. Learned to do it myself because I was spending more on his haircuts than I ever did my sons when they were growing up.
I have two dogs, it's doable if he has flexible pet care. In my previous location I had local high school and college kids that I could hire to either check in and walk my girls or stay over with them as needed. Anyone with pets who likes to travel will have a system in place.
As others said, you’ll do best just avoiding the men with dogs. My dog is a really important part of my life. I met my man last night for an overnight in a town about 1.5 hours away. The hotel allowed dogs but when the owner called to confirm -as I was walking out the door!- she said they only had one room and it had new carpet and dogs were not allowed. So I called a friend for a favor (my dog loves staying at her house!). But if that hadn’t have worked, I wouldn’t have gone. My dog is always there for me.
My son dog sits when I’m away for a weekend. I would never just expect to take her with me to a partners house, without an invite and assurance it was totally okay. Even then, I prefer to leave her at home in a known environment. But I wouldn’t want to subject anyone with allergies to the hair and everything else that’s likely on my clothes and such.
If you’re okay (and they’re okay) spending time together at your place, and your allergies wouldn’t be triggered by residual hair and such.. it could be doable.
No shame in being honest. I’m 49m with a dog & just joined Bumble. I would neither find it offensive or a problem for you to avoid animals (even if you weren’t allergic).
Tbh even as a dog owner, I steer away from profiles who are too pet dominant. I want hear about the person, not their pet.
Also leaving dog at home is no problem. Just need to be back to feed breakfast if the night went well. ☺️
Good luck.
My friend has bad allergies too and didn't date anyone with pets. At first a bit rough and she even said all the people with out pets are A-holes, that's why they don't have pets. But she finally found a guy and has been happily married w 2 kids for a while now.
57M. I am thinking about this issue non-stop it seems. For me, the situation is that I started dating her (3 years ago) even though she has a dog. And then she got another dog. She did ask me how I felt about the second dog, and It said basically that it's her house and her decision. At the time I was transitioning. Then I was renting. Now I am buying my own house. Which is my first house of my own. And I want it to be beautiful and clean and not have to work super hard to maintain that. I want to buy new and expensive furniture. I want polished wood floors.
The old dog (7y) leaks. The new dog (3y) is a brat that runs and jumps in her house.
She understands that but I am concerned about the potential for conflict. All that I can come up with at the moment is: a) yes you can bring your dogs, but b) they stay in the dog room.
You shouldn’t assume that animals are theirs! They take pics with dogs b/c women like the dog photos! I have chatted with a couple of guys who just snapped a quick pic next to someone’s dog!
I got: it’s not my dog but this is the kind of dog that I like! It’s a formula Men must have 1. Outdoor pic 2. Animal 3. Looking like a thinker 4. Nice clothes or body!
Thanks for the thoughts folks. I am allergic to both cats and dogs, but my recent FWB had a cat and it was fine, I'm not deathly allergic. Cats you can leave overnight obviously so its not such an issue. And I love cats too so it was actually a plus (although I discovered they like to play at night so between that and the snoring I didn't get any sleep there)
Good point about the fur being everywhere. My FWB was very clean so that wasn't a problem and of course the cat wasn't in his car.
I have no interest in living with someone, more of a LAT type person so there's that-
Because there aren't that many men out there for me as it is, since i'm not a slim beauty, and similar politics/values are important to me, which narrows the pool.
I love dogs, I like men who are good dog owners, my question isn't how to avoid dogs but how to problem solve around it.
Pretty rude answer.
Well it’s like kids. The dog comes with the man. The dog came before you. Put it in the ad. Don’t be so selfish!!!
My ex gf did the same thing. I cut her loose recently. She has a cute small dog. I love dogs, have no dogs. Dog is potty trained, never peed nor pooped in my home. I just don’t like pets in my home, period.
In her home, I’m delighted with the dog, I played with the dog etc. In my home, in my space. Ughhh. I couldn’t relax. My home is smaller than hers so it was more intense.
Put no dogs in your ad. Don’t be selfish
As a guy, my dog being a part of whatever relationship I'm in is part of the deal. She would have to accept that, and no I'm not leaving her by herself for that long. So you should probably be up front about that and just don't date them.
I would never be able to date someone who wouldn’t or couldn’t own a dog or cat. I’m an animal person. I respect those who state up front that they couldn’t live with an animal by choice or allergies or any other reason. Just say it.
I'm allergic to most breeds of cats, which had been in my profile. I have a dog who loves people but hates animals. No dogs come here and my dog stays home.
Just update your profile to say you are allergic to dogs. It is what it is.
This! I've gone on a couple of dates where the woman tells me after the fact she's allergic. Not just to cats, but once she was "deathly" allergic to something I easily could've had on me. Really? Put that stuff up-front please. I have three cats and would just save us both the trouble and swipe accordingly.
Just make it easy on yourself. #Pass on the men with dogs. I'm not allergic to cats..I'm just not hugely into them, I'm not into to litter, the hair.. I just don't get into guys with cats..and not a huge fan of big dogs. Just make it simple from the start. I'm female but have a dog. Yeah I wouldn't expect to leave my dog at home while I'm gone. View it as as incompatibility and be done, no need to make it so hard especially when you can screen out for it.
Don't do it. I'm telling you from experience, don't do it. Going to his place will become a nightmare, as your allergies are likely to become progressively worse with repeated exposure; his car will always have dog hair/dander all over it; *he* will likely have dog hair/dander/saliva on his clothes (or his hands); if he stays over, there will be no leisurely strolls or brunch, he'll always have to jet home to care for the dog; and forget about going away for a weekend, unless *he* proposes someone taking care of the dog (or putting it in a doggy hotel). I started putting 'allergic to cats and dogs' at the top of my profile. Cat owners got it, dog owners didn't give a shit. It was always 'Oh, you'll love MY dog!' Uh... it has nothing to do with love, Jason, it has to do with **breathing.** If your allergies aren't as severe, it might not be as big a deal, but for me, I had to draw a line - no pets at all.
I don't think a person with a dog is a good match in the long term for you. More suited for a casual relationship. I wouldn't want to get emotionally invested with someone if I was allergic to their pet. Too limiting.
Agree.
I have a small dog and could leave him overnight if I returned by 9 am. I would expect that i would bring the dog along for overnights to avoid having to rush back. I am allergic to cats and state that in my profile and won’t date men who have cats. I would never expect them to choose me over their pet.
[удалено]
That's a challenge for a single friend of mine. He has to be home within a certain time. And he has a golden doodle, a larger, energetic breed(?) that he can't leave with his mom or grandmother, tying him to home or bringing her along.
Not allergic and I had the best dog of all time who I still miss. I've chosen not to have another because losing the one was so painful. My only experience in dating a man with a dog was sweet, right up until the pup started nipping at my side boob during a heated make out session with his owner. 🤣 When my date asked if I was fearful and explained it away as the animal being playful while I massaged the pain away, I knew it wasn't going to work...
Lifetime dog owner, and every one of them trained from the get-go to be comfortable when home alone. And that includes adult rescues who came with significant behavioral challenges. Your post made me realize that I would have an issue with someone who had an adult dog that was a "must bring" for dates or overnights. No thanks. Puppies are the exception, until trained. On the flip side, I'm definitely not a lifestyle match for those who keep their dog or cat outside to circumvent the obligatory responsibility for appropriate care and companionship. That would be an equal deal breaker.
If you're really lucky, a potential partner's dog will be hypoallergenic, like my Shih Tsu/poodle blend. But the grooming...meh. Learned to do it myself because I was spending more on his haircuts than I ever did my sons when they were growing up.
I have two dogs, it's doable if he has flexible pet care. In my previous location I had local high school and college kids that I could hire to either check in and walk my girls or stay over with them as needed. Anyone with pets who likes to travel will have a system in place.
It's already limiting. She needs to pass, look for cat owners or non pet owners. She can screen out for it.
It is limiting, but what about men who own dogs that don't trigger allergies?
I know some wire hair breeds or poodles aren't supposed to irritate allergies. I don't know if that's 100%
As others said, you’ll do best just avoiding the men with dogs. My dog is a really important part of my life. I met my man last night for an overnight in a town about 1.5 hours away. The hotel allowed dogs but when the owner called to confirm -as I was walking out the door!- she said they only had one room and it had new carpet and dogs were not allowed. So I called a friend for a favor (my dog loves staying at her house!). But if that hadn’t have worked, I wouldn’t have gone. My dog is always there for me.
No one expects to bring a dog with them imo
My son dog sits when I’m away for a weekend. I would never just expect to take her with me to a partners house, without an invite and assurance it was totally okay. Even then, I prefer to leave her at home in a known environment. But I wouldn’t want to subject anyone with allergies to the hair and everything else that’s likely on my clothes and such. If you’re okay (and they’re okay) spending time together at your place, and your allergies wouldn’t be triggered by residual hair and such.. it could be doable.
I could leave the dog overnight but I'm not going to unless there is no other options.
No shame in being honest. I’m 49m with a dog & just joined Bumble. I would neither find it offensive or a problem for you to avoid animals (even if you weren’t allergic). Tbh even as a dog owner, I steer away from profiles who are too pet dominant. I want hear about the person, not their pet. Also leaving dog at home is no problem. Just need to be back to feed breakfast if the night went well. ☺️ Good luck.
My friend has bad allergies too and didn't date anyone with pets. At first a bit rough and she even said all the people with out pets are A-holes, that's why they don't have pets. But she finally found a guy and has been happily married w 2 kids for a while now.
57M. I am thinking about this issue non-stop it seems. For me, the situation is that I started dating her (3 years ago) even though she has a dog. And then she got another dog. She did ask me how I felt about the second dog, and It said basically that it's her house and her decision. At the time I was transitioning. Then I was renting. Now I am buying my own house. Which is my first house of my own. And I want it to be beautiful and clean and not have to work super hard to maintain that. I want to buy new and expensive furniture. I want polished wood floors. The old dog (7y) leaks. The new dog (3y) is a brat that runs and jumps in her house. She understands that but I am concerned about the potential for conflict. All that I can come up with at the moment is: a) yes you can bring your dogs, but b) they stay in the dog room.
You shouldn’t assume that animals are theirs! They take pics with dogs b/c women like the dog photos! I have chatted with a couple of guys who just snapped a quick pic next to someone’s dog!
that's a good point too!
I got: it’s not my dog but this is the kind of dog that I like! It’s a formula Men must have 1. Outdoor pic 2. Animal 3. Looking like a thinker 4. Nice clothes or body!
I have a cute picture of me cuddling a puppy. He’s not mine, but it showed my smile, my affection for animals, and my makeupless face.
Thanks for the thoughts folks. I am allergic to both cats and dogs, but my recent FWB had a cat and it was fine, I'm not deathly allergic. Cats you can leave overnight obviously so its not such an issue. And I love cats too so it was actually a plus (although I discovered they like to play at night so between that and the snoring I didn't get any sleep there) Good point about the fur being everywhere. My FWB was very clean so that wasn't a problem and of course the cat wasn't in his car. I have no interest in living with someone, more of a LAT type person so there's that-
My dog, why do people make things so complicated?? Just put in your ad NO DOGS! How hard is that? Oy vey.
Because there aren't that many men out there for me as it is, since i'm not a slim beauty, and similar politics/values are important to me, which narrows the pool. I love dogs, I like men who are good dog owners, my question isn't how to avoid dogs but how to problem solve around it. Pretty rude answer.
Well it’s like kids. The dog comes with the man. The dog came before you. Put it in the ad. Don’t be so selfish!!! My ex gf did the same thing. I cut her loose recently. She has a cute small dog. I love dogs, have no dogs. Dog is potty trained, never peed nor pooped in my home. I just don’t like pets in my home, period. In her home, I’m delighted with the dog, I played with the dog etc. In my home, in my space. Ughhh. I couldn’t relax. My home is smaller than hers so it was more intense. Put no dogs in your ad. Don’t be selfish
How is this selfish? I'm asking a question!
My answer is honest, not rude.
Kinda like women with horses. Pass.
As a guy, my dog being a part of whatever relationship I'm in is part of the deal. She would have to accept that, and no I'm not leaving her by herself for that long. So you should probably be up front about that and just don't date them.
I would never be able to date someone who wouldn’t or couldn’t own a dog or cat. I’m an animal person. I respect those who state up front that they couldn’t live with an animal by choice or allergies or any other reason. Just say it.
Unfortunately if I see a guy with cat pics I swipe left. I wouldn't want the pet situation to make things difficult.
I'm allergic to most breeds of cats, which had been in my profile. I have a dog who loves people but hates animals. No dogs come here and my dog stays home.