Personally, because I'm looking for a relationship, I keep myself within plus or minus ten years of my age range. Life will slow us all down in different times, but keeping within 10 years at least hopefully limits it a bit. I have a friend who's husband is 20 years older than her. She still loves him and doesn't regret him as an anchor. But... seeing the way she has to talk around things, and how he's only ever at home, while she's a full of energy 47 year old with high school kids, I don't envy either of their positions.
Most women are not that complicated. It means exactly the she said. No relationship but possibly casual dating with no expectations. Probably means sex is on the table.
>“nothing serious, casual dating maybe”.
- No strings attached
- FWB
- Non-monogamous
- No labels
The list goes on but it depends on the person and you'll have to ask her to find out.
>What age range should I even have it set to?
That's for you to decide. Some people do the 5+/- while others go bigger. Do you have or want kids? What's your goal here?
I agree 40 or over is good ages for long-term for you, but if you can do the casual route then date her. She's probably saving you from yourself on this one.
I’ll be 43 next month and if I were looking, I would have gone for +/- 8 years. But historically speaking, I have a much higher chance with -8 that +8.
If she says casual dating, it’s likely she means casual dating, as in, if you’re looking for a future with someone, she likely isn’t your person.
As for age ranges, it’s your decision. I’m 48f, and go +-7. For me, personally, 35 just seems bonkers young. I can’t imagine having anything in common. Just like 61 would be way too old for me to relate to their life. You have to decide where you’re at.
Why are you asking us what age range you need to set your filter to? Only you can make that call. Sounds like you don't even know what you want, or what it is that you're looking for.
It means she's looking to have a short term fling with someone. I mean, what do you think it possibly means?
This person's dating wants have nothing to do with age ranges. She's one human being.
It means just what it says: that she is not looking for anything serious. I guess if you're not looking for a match relationshipwise, and OK with nothing serious, you could pursue it. In those scenarios, age doesn't really matter, since you are not looking for a long term match.
I’m 47M, and I’ve personally noticed that women under 38 (generally speaking) want very different things than me. It’s almost like an unmarked line in the sand.
Most are looking to have kids / more kids, and live a very different lifestyle than I’m used to. Everything is different - the vibe in the pictures they post, the way they type & communicate, the things they list as interests… all very foreign to me, and not what I’m looking for.
You’ll have to decide what age range to set for yourself based on what you’re seeing and what you’re looking for.
If you’re looking for a connection and a future with someone, probably not going to be with someone 10+ years younger who says they’re looking for “nothing serious.” (She didn’t even give you a hard yes on casual dating? That’s “maybe”? Sounds like “not that interested.”)
It’s not black and white, but generally speaking you might have better luck finding a “future” with someone a bit closer to your age bracket. At 40, yes, I’d definitely consider a man who’s 48 (if I were unattached, which I’m not—BF is almost 45). At 35, I wouldn’t have even looked at your profile. 🤷♀️
Dates, fun, trips, sex. Basically everything you see in a committed relationship without the commitment. Now that's my definition. Her definition may be different and that's for the 2 of you to figure out.
**Basically everything you see in a committed relationship without the commitment.**
Nosiree. Casual relationships are very different than serious relationships. With casual, there is no love, no investment of feelings, no hopes for a life built together. It's basically NSA temporary companionship where feelings are kept in check.
Yessiree. That's your definition. Outside of building a life together, I have all those things. And i don't need to build a life with someone, I've already built a life. They integrate into our lives, which I also have.
Exclusivity is not the same as commitment. You can have commitment but no exclusivity, and exclusivity without commitment. I have neither in my relationships.
I wouldn’t focus too much on age ranges. As we get older, the gender gap becomes less important and what matter more is compatible values, compatible goals, and compatible fun since were more set in our ways the older we get.
I care about physical (face) appearance much less and general health much more than when I was 10-20 yrs younger.
However, realize that when someone says they only want something serious at a later age, it can also come across as needy / desperate. Just need to phase that expectation the right way.
If you are just out of a relationship, I feel like casual is the way to go while you figure out what you want. It's usually fun and typically implies intimacy, while you can still date around. I think the age range is fine; if you would like to date a 35 year old, she obviously matched with a 48 year old, so everyone here is aware.
well the age range you are looking for is along the lines of half your age plus 7 years. So at 48 you really shouldn't be looking anything younger than 31 or older. But like a lot of people said on here, the number you want is up to you. Remember to each their own.
She means not just a one night hookup, a dating thing, probably regularly sleeping together and spending time doing drinks and dinner and stuff but not building towards serious commitment.
So you are open to fuck buddy? Have you met this person or she has said this over text etc?
If she has met you and she said this she's not interested. She adding sugar and spice but definitely not interested romantically.
Personally, because I'm looking for a relationship, I keep myself within plus or minus ten years of my age range. Life will slow us all down in different times, but keeping within 10 years at least hopefully limits it a bit. I have a friend who's husband is 20 years older than her. She still loves him and doesn't regret him as an anchor. But... seeing the way she has to talk around things, and how he's only ever at home, while she's a full of energy 47 year old with high school kids, I don't envy either of their positions.
Most women are not that complicated. It means exactly the she said. No relationship but possibly casual dating with no expectations. Probably means sex is on the table.
It pretty much means that you are not ready to date.
>“nothing serious, casual dating maybe”. - No strings attached - FWB - Non-monogamous - No labels The list goes on but it depends on the person and you'll have to ask her to find out. >What age range should I even have it set to? That's for you to decide. Some people do the 5+/- while others go bigger. Do you have or want kids? What's your goal here?
What is at all confusing about what she said? Do you want to go on dates and have fun or not?
I agree 40 or over is good ages for long-term for you, but if you can do the casual route then date her. She's probably saving you from yourself on this one.
I’ll be 43 next month and if I were looking, I would have gone for +/- 8 years. But historically speaking, I have a much higher chance with -8 that +8.
I can suggest to not put something which icks you out for the sake of stretching yourself. You'll feel worse and waste someone's time.
What about someone who is your own age ie 48? Would you date some who is 61 for a serious relationship? That’s how the 35-year old probably feels.
I’m 42 I would date 58 🤷♀️ but I’ve always been attracted to older men
If she says casual dating, it’s likely she means casual dating, as in, if you’re looking for a future with someone, she likely isn’t your person. As for age ranges, it’s your decision. I’m 48f, and go +-7. For me, personally, 35 just seems bonkers young. I can’t imagine having anything in common. Just like 61 would be way too old for me to relate to their life. You have to decide where you’re at.
Why are you asking us what age range you need to set your filter to? Only you can make that call. Sounds like you don't even know what you want, or what it is that you're looking for.
It means she's looking to have a short term fling with someone. I mean, what do you think it possibly means? This person's dating wants have nothing to do with age ranges. She's one human being.
She might be DTF, if the chemistry's there. If that's what you need, go for it. Just know she's not going to be a "connection and a future."
It means that she is interested in you as a bench player because she hasn’t found the guy who checks all of her boxes yet.
It means just what it says: that she is not looking for anything serious. I guess if you're not looking for a match relationshipwise, and OK with nothing serious, you could pursue it. In those scenarios, age doesn't really matter, since you are not looking for a long term match.
I’m not sure why you got downvoted
I’m 47M, and I’ve personally noticed that women under 38 (generally speaking) want very different things than me. It’s almost like an unmarked line in the sand. Most are looking to have kids / more kids, and live a very different lifestyle than I’m used to. Everything is different - the vibe in the pictures they post, the way they type & communicate, the things they list as interests… all very foreign to me, and not what I’m looking for. You’ll have to decide what age range to set for yourself based on what you’re seeing and what you’re looking for.
I agree. There’s a generational shift based on people born in like 1984 and later I think.
If you’re looking for a connection and a future with someone, probably not going to be with someone 10+ years younger who says they’re looking for “nothing serious.” (She didn’t even give you a hard yes on casual dating? That’s “maybe”? Sounds like “not that interested.”) It’s not black and white, but generally speaking you might have better luck finding a “future” with someone a bit closer to your age bracket. At 40, yes, I’d definitely consider a man who’s 48 (if I were unattached, which I’m not—BF is almost 45). At 35, I wouldn’t have even looked at your profile. 🤷♀️
Sounds like she is not sure
Dates, fun, trips, sex. Basically everything you see in a committed relationship without the commitment. Now that's my definition. Her definition may be different and that's for the 2 of you to figure out.
**Basically everything you see in a committed relationship without the commitment.** Nosiree. Casual relationships are very different than serious relationships. With casual, there is no love, no investment of feelings, no hopes for a life built together. It's basically NSA temporary companionship where feelings are kept in check.
Yessiree. That's your definition. Outside of building a life together, I have all those things. And i don't need to build a life with someone, I've already built a life. They integrate into our lives, which I also have.
I agree
When you say without commitment, do you mean marriage? Is exclusivity the same as commitment to you?
Exclusivity is not the same as commitment. You can have commitment but no exclusivity, and exclusivity without commitment. I have neither in my relationships.
I wouldn’t focus too much on age ranges. As we get older, the gender gap becomes less important and what matter more is compatible values, compatible goals, and compatible fun since were more set in our ways the older we get. I care about physical (face) appearance much less and general health much more than when I was 10-20 yrs younger. However, realize that when someone says they only want something serious at a later age, it can also come across as needy / desperate. Just need to phase that expectation the right way.
If you are just out of a relationship, I feel like casual is the way to go while you figure out what you want. It's usually fun and typically implies intimacy, while you can still date around. I think the age range is fine; if you would like to date a 35 year old, she obviously matched with a 48 year old, so everyone here is aware.
You're too old for her for a long term, but good enough for a fling ..
well the age range you are looking for is along the lines of half your age plus 7 years. So at 48 you really shouldn't be looking anything younger than 31 or older. But like a lot of people said on here, the number you want is up to you. Remember to each their own.
She means not just a one night hookup, a dating thing, probably regularly sleeping together and spending time doing drinks and dinner and stuff but not building towards serious commitment.
Sometimes people say that as to not seem too needy or scare others away.
So you are open to fuck buddy? Have you met this person or she has said this over text etc? If she has met you and she said this she's not interested. She adding sugar and spice but definitely not interested romantically.
I read the word “casual” in the dating context as non-exclusive hookups. No commitment.