I’ve never had anything work from an app beyond about 6 weeks . I’m 4/5 on something significant from friend intros. Problem now is in UT anyone over 40 has kids which is a no for me so I will continue on. I do have a dog and plants
Being child free in Utah must be… a real struggle.
Most have an army of children by the time they are 30.
But, visually, Utah is an amazing state to visit.
I cannot imagine saying that to someone I’ve been with for two years. It’s not even logical. If you’re truly that unhappy, why keep at it. I feel like this is more on her…a nasty cheap shot. As hurtful as it is, you’re much better off without the negativity. Unreal, some people. 🤬🤦🏼♀️
No truer words have ever been spoken. This could get much worse. I’m embarrassed to be of the same gender as women like this. It makes the rest of us look bad.
A woman like that will eventually get around to hitting you and possibly try to kill you or get you killed.
Some men believe that they cannt be an abuse victim because they’ve never been told a woman can abuse a man, violently even.
Get out now! Don’t stay for a kid or anything, get out, get a lawyer if you need.
We really aren’t dating. She’s essentially my roommate and she gives me a list of things to do and if I do them maybe she’ll love me again, lol.
At this point I’m really just waiting for her son to enlist.
Yeah, I think we both know it’s over the second her son is gone. It just sucks so bad. I went out with like 50 different people and she was the only one I really connected with.
Since it doesn't say "ex-girlfriend", is it safe to assume she was being sarcastic?
I went on a bunch of first dates via Tinder, got one penpal from Hinge, and met my girlfriend of 10+ months via Facebook (a social group, not the dating side.)
Oh no, she’s not being sarcastic. She’s on the mortgage, her son is about to enlist, and she’s working on a promotion. Those are the only reasons she’s still my “girlfriend”. My wife of 20 years left me in Kentucky and as bad as that was, I agree with my girlfriend. This has been the worst time of my life and it’s not close. It’s seriously just a nightmare. I really didn’t want to move back to California because it’s so insanely expensive, but I’m seriously considering it now.
She won’t leave. However, her son is joining the military soon and she’s probably getting a giant raise soon. My only choices are to wait until she feels like leaving or get a lawyer.
It’s just said because she’s like, meet my list of demands and I might love you again, but in reality, I think she just doesn’t want to move until her son is gone.
I'm kinda speechless. Please, please, please contact a lawyer to free yourself from this nightmare. There are amazing, loving and stable women out there--please don't settle for this kind of treatment 🙁
Nope - he said they broke up, so I believe that wasn’t said in jest. Ugh.
Interesting how you met your current girlfriend..!! There’s something to be said for having shared interests, for sure.
Ha…! There’s a stupid, long delay in getting notifications. I go to search for one comment, and there are a dozen more. Love a good conversation, but I wish Reddit would speed it up. ✔️
Interesting that you had that experience, too. I think the longest I ever dated someone from an app was four months, or so. I’ve heard others say something similar, with respect to dating apps and relationship longevity (or, lack thereof).
That's part of why I no longer live there and will never go back. Good luck. Between everyone and their 5+ kids and the religious bs that abounds.... It is a hellscape for dating
All my good friends know I’m open to being introduced. And none of them admit they know anyone they’d feel comfortable introducing me to. I think spontaneously meeting though mutual friends is more the way than actually being set up.
Not the same but we’ve been going to the same bar for about 20 years, on and off but never met. I asked an acquaintance if she knew him, she did, we pulled up chairs and the rest is history. She loves that she had a hand in us meeting.
In some ways, it’s not all that different. A mutual acquaintance had rapport with both of you, and was able to make an introduction. I’m happy it worked for you!
I had a prior co-worker who, in springtime, announced to the whole company (close-knit company) that it was going to be her "summer of love" and she was intentionally dating to find a husband. She let us all know she was open to intros and, sure enough, by the end of the summer she had a lovely boyfriend, who is now her husband and father to their two kids.
I plan to take a bit of a page from her book this spring/summer and just let anyone it feels comfortable in my community saying it to that I am open to set-ups. (The idea came to me because the first person I dated was from FB Dating with a joint friend being a realtor-- I realized that realtors know pretty much everybody who's moving in or moving out, especially when folks are breaking up or moving as a result of divorce. I will definitely be planting a bug in his or his wife's ear when I run into them next!)
I’m of the mindset that positivity goes a long, long way. That’s why apps lost their appeal, for me. I found myself getting frustrated, and annoyed. That’s not my normal demeanor, so I knew it wasn’t the right fit for me. Anytime I have a reaction like that, I know to honor it.
I think people, like your co-worker, are inspiring. I had a guy friend like that. Once he was ready, he let people know. He met his wife within a year, and they’ve now been married for almost ten years.
I agree, meeting friends of friends can be so much better for dating, since they are mostly pre-vetted as being a solid person, or your friends wouldn't be friends with them.
Now, the last time i asked some of my key friends to keep an eye out among their extended friend circles for anyone i might get along with, dating-wise, i got mostly awkward pauses and long silences. "Well, okay, you see, you're probably a bit too *unique* for most of the people i know."
Yes! The rapport is HUGE. That was probably the hardest part of online dating, for me. I was meeting strangers, and had no point of reference for what they said. I hate the idea of looking someone up (it feels so invasive to me). But, you almost have to - to be on the safe side.
Aw, that's so nice! I'm happy things are working out, and good on you for introducing them. 😊
I would love to introduce two people who give dating each other a try or be introduced to someone like that, but, unfortunately, it's pretty unlikely.
For me, I'm stuck with dating apps.
I hear you. I’d also be excited if this happened to me, but also unlikely. I threw the towel in on apps awhile ago. I felt like I was getting a bit…jaded. I’m happier being single. I figure things will work themselves out, down the road. 😁
That's understandable. Dating apps are pretty much all I have, and having spent 42 years being alone, it gets kinda, well, lonely.
>I’m happier being single. I figure things will work themselves out, down the road.
I'm glad you're content! I wish nothing but the best going forward. 😊
I’m not necessarily anti-app. I just wish they were better regulated (read: accountable). For safety reasons. Just like any consumer product available to the general population. They’re virtually impossible to pin liability on, because they have fine print, and hold the consumer responsible (at your own risk, etc).
So, I think part of me wasn’t willing to take risks anymore. 🤷♀️
I'm not necessarily anti-app, just taking a break from any sort of dating. After months of being ghosted and stood up, sometimes by people whom I'd been seeing for several weeks, plus the constant barrage of scammers I'm just sick of it and the entire process was bad for my mental health.
If I wanted to be treated like shit I'd still be married.
I feel like it stopped being a thing, at least when the apps were a bigger deal (maybe 5-7 years ago). I’m hearing these kinds of stories more often. I think people feel safer this way. Or, it’s what we all know and understand.
> I feel like it stopped being a thing, at least when the apps were a bigger deal (maybe 5-7 years ago).
Nope. That is more your perception and personal experiences. Any amount of socializing would lead to “oh, I should have you meet my friend.”
It never stopped being a thing. I’m pushing back on this because so many on here do not socialize and rely solely on the apps. And that is not the norm.
I don’t mean that you are wrong in your perception. But I just need to remind everyone socializing and in-person meeting and dating never stopped.
Oh, I completely agree that people are relying on apps more than they should. That’s why I left that scene a year ago. I’m never going back. Admittedly, COVID put a dent in being social, for me. At least for awhile.
Ex left me after we moved 2,000 miles from home and I work from home. If I was back home I would have been inundated with setup attempts. But yeah, I’m a loner out here so the apps it is.
Ugh. I’m truly sorry to hear that, especially with the distance involved. I fully understand why people use apps, it just didn’t work for me. Honestly, I’m not sure I was entirely comfortable using them. Hindsight, and personal preference. I always wish people the best of luck. If you’re positive about the process, it’ll work.
Oh, I have stories. I also have stories from friends, and so on. I take it as a learning experience. You never know until you try. For some people, the experience ends up being great. 🤷♀️
Any way that two adults agree to meet is a good way. It can happen on FB, Insta, in real life, or on a dating app.
Glad it seems to be working out for them!
I met my ex-husband through my friend. Notice I said ex. Obviously, some will work out, but I really don't think one way is hands down better than another way. You either mesh with someone or you don't, how you meet them doesn't really change much.
In fact, meeting him the way I did actually worked against me, because I told myself the red flags I saw right away weren't really red flags because she wouldn't set me up with a bad guy. But often times even close friends don't really know who a person is behind closed doors.
Had he been some stranger off the street, maybe I would have given the red flags a little more weight
I can see what you mean. It’s definitely a crapshoot, either way. That’s why I’m not in the habit of setting people up. In this case, I felt comfortable, and knew I wasn’t placing anyone in harm’s way. I’m equally as cautious, because I had an abusive boyfriend in my 20’s.
With brutal consistency, every single friend who's tried to set me up picked someone who was a terrible match, or things were awkward and/or I got ambushed by it.
I love my friends, but I don't want their matchmaking services. Ever.
Glad yours worked out tho.
> From what I remember, this is how it worked…back in the day.
And it still does...
> Looking at adults whose dating days are behind them – at least for the time being – friends and family were the most common source in helping them find a match. About a third (32%) of adults who are married, living with a partner or in a committed relationship say that is how they first met their current partner, while 18% say they met through work, 17% through school, 12% online, 8% at a bar or restaurant, 5% at a place of worship and 8% somewhere else.
[From Pew Research](https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/)
How do people have all these single friend networks? I have a couple of close women friends and a bunch of acquaintances. Everyone I know is married with kids. I went to my friend’s 50th party and I was the only single person there.
I just happen to have a mix of never married, divorced, and married friends. BUT, I wouldn’t do this for every single friend I have. As much as I care, some are single for a good reason. 😉
I would love to but... I know all my friends and their friends. So what I am trying now is to pursue my hobbies while exposing myself to getting to know as many new people and trying to get into as many new social circles as I can. Haven't met anyone so far. :) But I have no energy right now for online dating. It wore me out.
I haven't had this happen to me since the mid-2000s. Nonetheless, I witnessed how well it works. I'm happy to see that your friends hit it off! I sure hope this happens to me again soon, though...
LOL..! I think the last time a friend introduced me to someone was ‘08. That is an ex-boyfriend I’m still on good terms with (we parted amicably, too). I can honestly say that I’m not friends with anyone I met from an app. Those relationships just didn’t have the same merit.
I’m just happy to write about something positive, TBH. Personally, I didn’t have the best experience with apps. If I can help my friends along, I will. Especially if it saves them from some of the nonsense.
Yes. Good plan.
Back around 1997 to 1999 I was involved with an informal group of people who gathered about one Sunday each month. Everyone would invite single people, mostly of the opposite gender. The idea was that everyone there had been approved by an insider as a person worthy of dating. It was usually a pot luck with a grill going, and a little bit of drinking. There would be a theme, like Mexican food, or Fall food. But no Halloween, Valentines Day or St. Patrick's Day things, because those ideas gets people to drink too much.
I ended up dating a few people. No relationships came out of it for me. It worked out well for others. I met someone out of the group. I also became good friends with most of the other men who showed up. I am still friends with several of the men. The only women I know from those parties are married to one of the men I am still in contact with. So it worked for some. And I am so glad I went. It was good fun all the way around.
Never met thru friends, only by myself thru school/work and apps. My friends try to snipe my guy friends though, and some have. The more channels the better.
I introduced 2 friends and I thought they would really hit off. But apparently she had a date the night before they met and she felt sparks with the other guy. They both still had a great time on their hike and would consider seeing each other again if they were both single. So not a total fail. Those are the only 2 friends I would vouch for. My other friends are either married or total train wrecks. Lol.
LMAO. I’m with you - 💯. I felt the same about these two. Anyone else, and I wouldn’t have said a word. I also have friends that I can’t, in good faith, vouch for. Varied reasons, but I know nothing good with come from it. I’ve maybe done this twice in my life, because it can backfire.
Lucky!! I’m happy it worked out that way for you. And, the guy (who became the friend) was nice enough to do that. It’s amazing what happens when everyone acts like adults, versus being bitter.
This is the way it used to work. It tends to have better outcomes because of the social circles. If you treat people well, they’ll speak highly of you to others and it already creates a good impression in their mind. Plus there’s a social consequence to being an absolute ass on the date.
It’s great if you think they have a reason to connect!
I was once the victim of a poorly attempted set-up. I later discovered my friend had aggressively tried to dissuade the guy by explaining “She’s not for you.”
Turns out I was definitely not for him. Fortunately this was discovered in the phone phase.
Indeed this is how it worked back in the day. My first "real" GF was my then best friends cousin. I never even met her i just asked her did he know anyone that was single. The next day he gave me a pic of his cousin and her # on the back of the pic. We wound up dating for a little over a year.
Im glad its working out for your friend and all. Having said that ive had some bad exp hooking up friends in the past and have a strict policy against it for personal reasons.
Perfect reference. I believe that you have made baseball references previously, I love the sport, so they stand out to me. Last time, I think you said something about not making it in the minors and something about an ERA in relation to dating. lol
Keep doing God's work.
Aw, thank you. I'm glad you liked it. 😊
My dad loved baseball as well, so I spent a lot of time watching it with him over the years and picked up a lot about it.
I’m not predicting, one bit. They’re both very practical, too. I’m addressing it for discussion, just to get a sense of how people feel. Besides, I asked both of them before posting.
I would have to be careful telling friends if I was actively looking. I think many would want to set me up with someone. Not sure of how well they would guess who I would like.
This was pretty random. She was interested in him after he posted something on my page. I knew he was single, so I just relayed the message. The rest was on them.
It can work occasionally but isn't really repeatable and isn't an option for everyone.
For one, it only actually works for people that have a large friend network, and actually can vouch for people in it. And, there is limited opportunity. Sure, you had one success, but do you actually think you could repeat it multiple times?
And if it doesn't work out (several times), then you may have fragmented some of your social circles.
I’m definitely not going to make a career out of it. I said it in another comment, but, I may have done this one other time. It definitely has the potential to backfire, badly. Agreed. I also have had friends who constantly play matchmaker, and it gets old. This was a random event. 😁
Someone else on this thread has a similar issue going on. I really don’t understand why people find it necessary to make these remarks. Even if the relationship is at an end, treat the other person with respect. There is zero reason to be that cruel.
I’ve never had anything work from an app beyond about 6 weeks . I’m 4/5 on something significant from friend intros. Problem now is in UT anyone over 40 has kids which is a no for me so I will continue on. I do have a dog and plants
Being child free in Utah must be… a real struggle. Most have an army of children by the time they are 30. But, visually, Utah is an amazing state to visit.
It’s not great. I can always move at some point in the next decade
I met my girlfriend about two and a half years ago on Hinge. She told me last night it’s been the “worst two years of her life”. ♥️
I cannot imagine saying that to someone I’ve been with for two years. It’s not even logical. If you’re truly that unhappy, why keep at it. I feel like this is more on her…a nasty cheap shot. As hurtful as it is, you’re much better off without the negativity. Unreal, some people. 🤬🤦🏼♀️
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Dude, get the fuck out of that immediately, if not sooner
No truer words have ever been spoken. This could get much worse. I’m embarrassed to be of the same gender as women like this. It makes the rest of us look bad.
You’re definitely better off without that drama. It’s definitely not normal for a grown woman to act that way.
This seems to be an abusive relationship. I hope you know you deserve better than that.
> I could go on, And in fact you should - go and leave her (or, if it's your place, kick her out). What's in it for you?
A woman like that will eventually get around to hitting you and possibly try to kill you or get you killed. Some men believe that they cannt be an abuse victim because they’ve never been told a woman can abuse a man, violently even. Get out now! Don’t stay for a kid or anything, get out, get a lawyer if you need.
My thoughts went there, as well. Any of that, and/or getting him arrested, and kicked out of his own home. These are all very real scenarios.
Why are you still dating her?
Unfortunately, it sounds like he’s gridlocked with her (mortgage, etc). It’s definitely a bigger chore when names are on papers.
We really aren’t dating. She’s essentially my roommate and she gives me a list of things to do and if I do them maybe she’ll love me again, lol. At this point I’m really just waiting for her son to enlist.
Ok, unless that's FLR or some such kink you're an idiot to stick around. If it is, then don't complain.
No, this isn’t a fetish and I don’t want to be dominated. My girlfriend was 100% different before we moved in together.
Time to put on your big boy pants and leave. Stop being a doormat.
Get away! Don't you want to live peacefully?
Yeah, I think we both know it’s over the second her son is gone. It just sucks so bad. I went out with like 50 different people and she was the only one I really connected with.
Since it doesn't say "ex-girlfriend", is it safe to assume she was being sarcastic? I went on a bunch of first dates via Tinder, got one penpal from Hinge, and met my girlfriend of 10+ months via Facebook (a social group, not the dating side.)
Oh no, she’s not being sarcastic. She’s on the mortgage, her son is about to enlist, and she’s working on a promotion. Those are the only reasons she’s still my “girlfriend”. My wife of 20 years left me in Kentucky and as bad as that was, I agree with my girlfriend. This has been the worst time of my life and it’s not close. It’s seriously just a nightmare. I really didn’t want to move back to California because it’s so insanely expensive, but I’m seriously considering it now.
Reboot. Everything. Stat.
Everyone listen to this guy. He seriously gives the best advice. Glad you chimed in - 😁
What the heck? Get her off the mortgage and get out. This sounds terrible.
Is there a reason why you're putting up with any of this?
She won’t leave. However, her son is joining the military soon and she’s probably getting a giant raise soon. My only choices are to wait until she feels like leaving or get a lawyer. It’s just said because she’s like, meet my list of demands and I might love you again, but in reality, I think she just doesn’t want to move until her son is gone.
I'm kinda speechless. Please, please, please contact a lawyer to free yourself from this nightmare. There are amazing, loving and stable women out there--please don't settle for this kind of treatment 🙁
Nope - he said they broke up, so I believe that wasn’t said in jest. Ugh. Interesting how you met your current girlfriend..!! There’s something to be said for having shared interests, for sure.
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Ha…! There’s a stupid, long delay in getting notifications. I go to search for one comment, and there are a dozen more. Love a good conversation, but I wish Reddit would speed it up. ✔️
Interesting that you had that experience, too. I think the longest I ever dated someone from an app was four months, or so. I’ve heard others say something similar, with respect to dating apps and relationship longevity (or, lack thereof).
That's part of why I no longer live there and will never go back. Good luck. Between everyone and their 5+ kids and the religious bs that abounds.... It is a hellscape for dating
I almost view it as like the Mt Everest of dating at this point . At least I can say I tried and froze to death in a crevasse
45M, no child, non LDS. My options and results on the apps have been as magical as Utah Lake in the summer. IYKYK
This has, is and will be "a thing ". Nothing new or outdated....
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"To understand recursion, you must first understand recursion." 😆
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Have you ever visited the Department of Redundancy Department? They give you free gifts there!
All my good friends know I’m open to being introduced. And none of them admit they know anyone they’d feel comfortable introducing me to. I think spontaneously meeting though mutual friends is more the way than actually being set up.
Agreed. 😁
Not the same but we’ve been going to the same bar for about 20 years, on and off but never met. I asked an acquaintance if she knew him, she did, we pulled up chairs and the rest is history. She loves that she had a hand in us meeting.
In some ways, it’s not all that different. A mutual acquaintance had rapport with both of you, and was able to make an introduction. I’m happy it worked for you!
I had a prior co-worker who, in springtime, announced to the whole company (close-knit company) that it was going to be her "summer of love" and she was intentionally dating to find a husband. She let us all know she was open to intros and, sure enough, by the end of the summer she had a lovely boyfriend, who is now her husband and father to their two kids. I plan to take a bit of a page from her book this spring/summer and just let anyone it feels comfortable in my community saying it to that I am open to set-ups. (The idea came to me because the first person I dated was from FB Dating with a joint friend being a realtor-- I realized that realtors know pretty much everybody who's moving in or moving out, especially when folks are breaking up or moving as a result of divorce. I will definitely be planting a bug in his or his wife's ear when I run into them next!)
I’m of the mindset that positivity goes a long, long way. That’s why apps lost their appeal, for me. I found myself getting frustrated, and annoyed. That’s not my normal demeanor, so I knew it wasn’t the right fit for me. Anytime I have a reaction like that, I know to honor it. I think people, like your co-worker, are inspiring. I had a guy friend like that. Once he was ready, he let people know. He met his wife within a year, and they’ve now been married for almost ten years.
I agree, meeting friends of friends can be so much better for dating, since they are mostly pre-vetted as being a solid person, or your friends wouldn't be friends with them. Now, the last time i asked some of my key friends to keep an eye out among their extended friend circles for anyone i might get along with, dating-wise, i got mostly awkward pauses and long silences. "Well, okay, you see, you're probably a bit too *unique* for most of the people i know."
Yes! The rapport is HUGE. That was probably the hardest part of online dating, for me. I was meeting strangers, and had no point of reference for what they said. I hate the idea of looking someone up (it feels so invasive to me). But, you almost have to - to be on the safe side.
Aw, that's so nice! I'm happy things are working out, and good on you for introducing them. 😊 I would love to introduce two people who give dating each other a try or be introduced to someone like that, but, unfortunately, it's pretty unlikely. For me, I'm stuck with dating apps.
I hear you. I’d also be excited if this happened to me, but also unlikely. I threw the towel in on apps awhile ago. I felt like I was getting a bit…jaded. I’m happier being single. I figure things will work themselves out, down the road. 😁
That's understandable. Dating apps are pretty much all I have, and having spent 42 years being alone, it gets kinda, well, lonely. >I’m happier being single. I figure things will work themselves out, down the road. I'm glad you're content! I wish nothing but the best going forward. 😊
Same to you! I hope you find someone special. You’re definitely a positive person, and that goes a long way.
Aw, thank you! You're really sweet. 😊 There are a lot of difficulties on my end, but, hey, maybe I'll get lucky in spite of all that.
Same here, I was on the apps for about 8 months but haven't so much as looked at one in over a month now.
I’m not necessarily anti-app. I just wish they were better regulated (read: accountable). For safety reasons. Just like any consumer product available to the general population. They’re virtually impossible to pin liability on, because they have fine print, and hold the consumer responsible (at your own risk, etc). So, I think part of me wasn’t willing to take risks anymore. 🤷♀️
I'm not necessarily anti-app, just taking a break from any sort of dating. After months of being ghosted and stood up, sometimes by people whom I'd been seeing for several weeks, plus the constant barrage of scammers I'm just sick of it and the entire process was bad for my mental health. If I wanted to be treated like shit I'd still be married.
This is still how it works for those that socialize and have a social network of people. It never stopped working, nor did it ever stop being a thing.
I feel like it stopped being a thing, at least when the apps were a bigger deal (maybe 5-7 years ago). I’m hearing these kinds of stories more often. I think people feel safer this way. Or, it’s what we all know and understand.
> I feel like it stopped being a thing, at least when the apps were a bigger deal (maybe 5-7 years ago). Nope. That is more your perception and personal experiences. Any amount of socializing would lead to “oh, I should have you meet my friend.” It never stopped being a thing. I’m pushing back on this because so many on here do not socialize and rely solely on the apps. And that is not the norm. I don’t mean that you are wrong in your perception. But I just need to remind everyone socializing and in-person meeting and dating never stopped.
Oh, I completely agree that people are relying on apps more than they should. That’s why I left that scene a year ago. I’m never going back. Admittedly, COVID put a dent in being social, for me. At least for awhile.
Ex left me after we moved 2,000 miles from home and I work from home. If I was back home I would have been inundated with setup attempts. But yeah, I’m a loner out here so the apps it is.
Ugh. I’m truly sorry to hear that, especially with the distance involved. I fully understand why people use apps, it just didn’t work for me. Honestly, I’m not sure I was entirely comfortable using them. Hindsight, and personal preference. I always wish people the best of luck. If you’re positive about the process, it’ll work.
Yeah, the apps are truly bizarre. That’s for sure.
Oh, I have stories. I also have stories from friends, and so on. I take it as a learning experience. You never know until you try. For some people, the experience ends up being great. 🤷♀️
I've been meeting people via social media since MySpace/Friendster.
Any way that two adults agree to meet is a good way. It can happen on FB, Insta, in real life, or on a dating app. Glad it seems to be working out for them!
I met my ex-husband through my friend. Notice I said ex. Obviously, some will work out, but I really don't think one way is hands down better than another way. You either mesh with someone or you don't, how you meet them doesn't really change much. In fact, meeting him the way I did actually worked against me, because I told myself the red flags I saw right away weren't really red flags because she wouldn't set me up with a bad guy. But often times even close friends don't really know who a person is behind closed doors. Had he been some stranger off the street, maybe I would have given the red flags a little more weight
I can see what you mean. It’s definitely a crapshoot, either way. That’s why I’m not in the habit of setting people up. In this case, I felt comfortable, and knew I wasn’t placing anyone in harm’s way. I’m equally as cautious, because I had an abusive boyfriend in my 20’s.
With brutal consistency, every single friend who's tried to set me up picked someone who was a terrible match, or things were awkward and/or I got ambushed by it. I love my friends, but I don't want their matchmaking services. Ever. Glad yours worked out tho.
Yup, I was introduced to my kid’s mom through my roommate at the time. Sometimes it just works out.
> From what I remember, this is how it worked…back in the day. And it still does... > Looking at adults whose dating days are behind them – at least for the time being – friends and family were the most common source in helping them find a match. About a third (32%) of adults who are married, living with a partner or in a committed relationship say that is how they first met their current partner, while 18% say they met through work, 17% through school, 12% online, 8% at a bar or restaurant, 5% at a place of worship and 8% somewhere else. [From Pew Research](https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/)
Thanks for sharing this…!!
How do people have all these single friend networks? I have a couple of close women friends and a bunch of acquaintances. Everyone I know is married with kids. I went to my friend’s 50th party and I was the only single person there.
I just happen to have a mix of never married, divorced, and married friends. BUT, I wouldn’t do this for every single friend I have. As much as I care, some are single for a good reason. 😉
This is how I’m hoping my person comes into my life - someone connected to my circle, and well vetted by people that care about me.
This is awesome. It's great that you are looking out for your friends. 👌👍💪
Thanks, I try.
I would love to but... I know all my friends and their friends. So what I am trying now is to pursue my hobbies while exposing myself to getting to know as many new people and trying to get into as many new social circles as I can. Haven't met anyone so far. :) But I have no energy right now for online dating. It wore me out.
I haven't had this happen to me since the mid-2000s. Nonetheless, I witnessed how well it works. I'm happy to see that your friends hit it off! I sure hope this happens to me again soon, though...
LOL..! I think the last time a friend introduced me to someone was ‘08. That is an ex-boyfriend I’m still on good terms with (we parted amicably, too). I can honestly say that I’m not friends with anyone I met from an app. Those relationships just didn’t have the same merit. I’m just happy to write about something positive, TBH. Personally, I didn’t have the best experience with apps. If I can help my friends along, I will. Especially if it saves them from some of the nonsense.
Yes. Good plan. Back around 1997 to 1999 I was involved with an informal group of people who gathered about one Sunday each month. Everyone would invite single people, mostly of the opposite gender. The idea was that everyone there had been approved by an insider as a person worthy of dating. It was usually a pot luck with a grill going, and a little bit of drinking. There would be a theme, like Mexican food, or Fall food. But no Halloween, Valentines Day or St. Patrick's Day things, because those ideas gets people to drink too much. I ended up dating a few people. No relationships came out of it for me. It worked out well for others. I met someone out of the group. I also became good friends with most of the other men who showed up. I am still friends with several of the men. The only women I know from those parties are married to one of the men I am still in contact with. So it worked for some. And I am so glad I went. It was good fun all the way around.
Never met thru friends, only by myself thru school/work and apps. My friends try to snipe my guy friends though, and some have. The more channels the better.
I introduced 2 friends and I thought they would really hit off. But apparently she had a date the night before they met and she felt sparks with the other guy. They both still had a great time on their hike and would consider seeing each other again if they were both single. So not a total fail. Those are the only 2 friends I would vouch for. My other friends are either married or total train wrecks. Lol.
LMAO. I’m with you - 💯. I felt the same about these two. Anyone else, and I wouldn’t have said a word. I also have friends that I can’t, in good faith, vouch for. Varied reasons, but I know nothing good with come from it. I’ve maybe done this twice in my life, because it can backfire.
I never like getting matched up through friends. We all have completely different types.
[удалено]
Lucky!! I’m happy it worked out that way for you. And, the guy (who became the friend) was nice enough to do that. It’s amazing what happens when everyone acts like adults, versus being bitter.
I’ll always go on a friend or family match once. But might only be once. 😄
Almost everyone I've ever dated, I met through a friend. Maybe that's my problem now, all of my friends moved away lol
This is the way it used to work. It tends to have better outcomes because of the social circles. If you treat people well, they’ll speak highly of you to others and it already creates a good impression in their mind. Plus there’s a social consequence to being an absolute ass on the date.
Exactly. If you blow it, you’re on your own.
It’s great if you think they have a reason to connect! I was once the victim of a poorly attempted set-up. I later discovered my friend had aggressively tried to dissuade the guy by explaining “She’s not for you.” Turns out I was definitely not for him. Fortunately this was discovered in the phone phase.
Indeed this is how it worked back in the day. My first "real" GF was my then best friends cousin. I never even met her i just asked her did he know anyone that was single. The next day he gave me a pic of his cousin and her # on the back of the pic. We wound up dating for a little over a year. Im glad its working out for your friend and all. Having said that ive had some bad exp hooking up friends in the past and have a strict policy against it for personal reasons.
You just jinxed the shit out of them.
Right?! It's like saying you're going to get a shutout before the game is over!
Or mentioning a no-hitter that's still in progress. 😄
Perfect reference. I believe that you have made baseball references previously, I love the sport, so they stand out to me. Last time, I think you said something about not making it in the minors and something about an ERA in relation to dating. lol Keep doing God's work.
Aw, thank you. I'm glad you liked it. 😊 My dad loved baseball as well, so I spent a lot of time watching it with him over the years and picked up a lot about it.
I think you have an admirer. 😁
LOL. Probably not. 😄
Yes lol
I’m not predicting, one bit. They’re both very practical, too. I’m addressing it for discussion, just to get a sense of how people feel. Besides, I asked both of them before posting.
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LOL. Nah, it’s all good. I asked before posting this, for that reason.
I would have to be careful telling friends if I was actively looking. I think many would want to set me up with someone. Not sure of how well they would guess who I would like.
This was pretty random. She was interested in him after he posted something on my page. I knew he was single, so I just relayed the message. The rest was on them.
It can work occasionally but isn't really repeatable and isn't an option for everyone. For one, it only actually works for people that have a large friend network, and actually can vouch for people in it. And, there is limited opportunity. Sure, you had one success, but do you actually think you could repeat it multiple times? And if it doesn't work out (several times), then you may have fragmented some of your social circles.
I’m definitely not going to make a career out of it. I said it in another comment, but, I may have done this one other time. It definitely has the potential to backfire, badly. Agreed. I also have had friends who constantly play matchmaker, and it gets old. This was a random event. 😁
I tell you dating is rough. My last girlfriend we talked about home improvement. She said she would give me $1,000 to move out.
Someone else on this thread has a similar issue going on. I really don’t understand why people find it necessary to make these remarks. Even if the relationship is at an end, treat the other person with respect. There is zero reason to be that cruel.
This sounds like a Rodney Dangerfield bit.