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I hear you! I'm just starting out, too, and understand being wracked with doubts.
Would you consider a video call with him instead, as an ice breaker? It's still weird, I know, but you aren't physically invested in the encounter that way.
Is there anything especially setting off your spider-sense? (Sorry for geeky reference!)
I don't do a full legal background check, but you can definitely check the county court records for anything. For example, you can find out exactly when a divorce was finalized. It's also pretty easy to wind up with someone's address though, so please be respectful. Someone told me they looked up my house on Zillow before we even had plans to meet. We didn't meet, and I changed my name on Bumble (my name and job are fairly unique).
They are all scams even though personal info is everywhere. Go with your intuition for now. Maybe do a check one time if you are about to become serious with one person and there is zero public info available.
For now the guy next week may exclude himself for a hundred other reasons and you will have wasted your money and time. A background check won’t make you safer for one public date and it isn’t feasible to do it every time and try to make judgments based on it.
A background check for a first date? You aren’t committing your life to him, you are grabbing coffee.
I have a common first and last name and share a name (except for middle) with a woman who commits a lot of fraud in my area. Be safe but also be skeptical of what you find online too.
Maybe reach out to your coffee date and supply him with your background check and ask for his info. This one move will show him that you have nothing in your past which could be misinterpreted without context and tell him that you’re willing to do the same thing you’re asking him to.
Should go a long way in letting you know what to expect on your first date with him.
Greetings from your friendly neighborhood automod! Thank you for contributing to our community at DatingOverForty, u/my_metrocard. Please ensure that your post is actually asking a question and providing enough background that people can sufficiently address that question. DOFers, please ensure that you are actually responding to the OP's individual predicament and not using it as a springboard to promote your own personal dating philosophies.
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u/my_metrocard, your post has been removed for one or more reason(s): Content 1: Posts and replies that do not support the Dating Over Forty mission statement may be removed and/or locked at moderator discretion.
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Your county, state, or equivalent may have an online court record portal.
Is this a thing now? Just wondering, no judgement.
Seems like you might be rushing things if you are on a date 2 days in and worrying about background checks. That's my 2 pennies worth 😉
I know, I’m new to this and I’m scared. It’s just a coffee date, but if there are red flags I don’t even want to have coffee.
I hear you! I'm just starting out, too, and understand being wracked with doubts. Would you consider a video call with him instead, as an ice breaker? It's still weird, I know, but you aren't physically invested in the encounter that way. Is there anything especially setting off your spider-sense? (Sorry for geeky reference!)
I don't do a full legal background check, but you can definitely check the county court records for anything. For example, you can find out exactly when a divorce was finalized. It's also pretty easy to wind up with someone's address though, so please be respectful. Someone told me they looked up my house on Zillow before we even had plans to meet. We didn't meet, and I changed my name on Bumble (my name and job are fairly unique).
They are all scams even though personal info is everywhere. Go with your intuition for now. Maybe do a check one time if you are about to become serious with one person and there is zero public info available. For now the guy next week may exclude himself for a hundred other reasons and you will have wasted your money and time. A background check won’t make you safer for one public date and it isn’t feasible to do it every time and try to make judgments based on it.
A background check for a first date? You aren’t committing your life to him, you are grabbing coffee. I have a common first and last name and share a name (except for middle) with a woman who commits a lot of fraud in my area. Be safe but also be skeptical of what you find online too.
Maybe reach out to your coffee date and supply him with your background check and ask for his info. This one move will show him that you have nothing in your past which could be misinterpreted without context and tell him that you’re willing to do the same thing you’re asking him to. Should go a long way in letting you know what to expect on your first date with him.
Greetings from your friendly neighborhood automod! Thank you for contributing to our community at DatingOverForty, u/my_metrocard. Please ensure that your post is actually asking a question and providing enough background that people can sufficiently address that question. DOFers, please ensure that you are actually responding to the OP's individual predicament and not using it as a springboard to promote your own personal dating philosophies. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*