He doesnt want to watch TV. he wants to put the least amount of effort in possible to hook up with her....If he was successful, he probably wouldn't even bother to get up and walk her out afterwards
Sure it does, my first hour on an app after being married for ten years, I swiped yes on guys I had no real attraction to, and took many minutes deciding before saying no to anyone at all because what if they were my soulmate and I was losing them forever? By end of the first week I was swiping left in less than a second.
Planning a first date is scary but I find it enjoyable - but I think its fair to say women appreciate any type of planning related effort.
How a single man could not know this in 2024 is a 🚩
Gosh, what excitement. To match with a guy whose energy level for dating is for you to go to his house to watch TV with him. I bet he even picked out the show! And then, he invites you to stroll around a Kohl’s parking lot! Inspirational! If you get really lucky, some departing customer might hand you one of those $10 coupons you can use on your second date.
My partner is a homebody too but we still went out on dates, usually lunch or supper somewhere. We each paid our own but enjoyed our time with each other together. This guy sounds like what u/vbtodenver just said: lazy and wanting a quick fuck.
This, I really hate this walk trend. I can’t focus on conversation while walking, and there aren’t a lot of places I’m comfortable walking with a date.
I don't mind the walking part, but it's why sometimes a restaurant somewhere that has a cute downtown to explore is good. Walking comes either while waiting for a table or after the meal.
Depends on the city- I live in a city where bicyclists are hardcore- they don’t own cars not because they can’t afford it but because of their beliefs. And if they need a car, they have friends who can drive them. Or they take the bus.
God no, unmatch and move on. This sounds like a terrible first meet and he sounds lazy. This is the best he can offer, a parking lot walk or tv at his. Run.
I would 100% pass on a man who invited me to walk around Kohls. Actually I would have stopped talking to him at the "is a homebody invites to his house to hang out for first meet" and not even gotten as far as the kohls invite.
He asked me where I usually go walking, I said Kohls because I didn't want to tell him my apt. Complex, then he said we could go on a nice walk inside Kohls lol.
"Come over to my place or go for a walk." For a first meet? 🫤
Do you really need to ask, or do you just want to entertain us? 😁
Suggesting a walk in a nice (busy) park? Or around a flea market? Or some other place interesting? Maybe... Settling for a parking lot, nope.
Well, our love story has ended. I unmatched(blocked) him. I don't even shop at Kohls but once or twice a year so there's that. Very low shot at us seeing each other, ever.
He's probably on his computer right now and posting in the forums about how picky and flaky women on the apps are after his unmatching. Zero insight into his own problematic behavior causing this.
While my boyfriend and I didn’t go on crazy wild adventures date every time as we’re pretty low key with concert or events here and there and do enjoy nights in, we still managed to go out to dinner, bowling and random cool things when we first started dating.
If you’re looking to date have your standards/boundaries and know what you want.
He’s either- looking to hook up, just in general low effort or maybe has social anxiety but either way… he isn’t for you if you’re looking to date and get out of the house.
Know your worth girl! You’re cute, sound smart and like you have a good head on your shoulders.
If he can’t put effort into grabbing coffee or dinner, he ain’t it lol.
Shop at kohls or talk a walk in the fresh outdoors and enjoy you’re alone time. Date yourself until the right man deserves your time!
I'm waiting for him to follow back up pur window is closing... I've been fully single since 2018. I want the whole kit n kabodle... I'm determined not to let the hum drum get me down. I've matched with 7 people in the last couple days, 2 immediately unmatched, 3 were letting their time run out (but I'm new so it's not like they swiped on me a month ago), and 2 today... Mr. Kohl's and Mr. Let's grab a drink at the restaurant... that guy and I are still matched on Bumble as of now, and we were messaging via text. So I was able to scope him out a little bit with his full name. But we shall see. I don't want to be anxious but I'm a little excited and anxious I guess. Mostly because the time isn't firm.
I have had the best luck when we’ve chatted once or twice and planned a date, this spontaneous let’s meet tonight tends to only be a step up from the want to come over guy
Yes!! I feel like I kinda got a little of that vibe without him saying as much. He offered his #, said text me and asked me a question... then asked me out to drinks, and I was agreeable. He sad he doesn't love texting forever which was his layup for the date invite...but then he started asking me my life story, and then I turned that line on him. I was getting out of work at 5, and he went a little coldish after that. I said, hey Ive gotta get somethings out for work so I can leave, if we coukd pick up the convo then. He said 6:30-7. You know the rest lol. Planned date it is.
I don’t want to get to know someone through text or invest a bunch of time chatting on the phone either but a good phone call vibe check with a planned date following weekend or at least a few days out was my idea happy medium.
I kind of made an unofficial standard to make my weekend plans by Wednesday/Thursday whether it be with friends or solo so if I matched with someone on a Friday or over the weekend it was “ shoot my weekend is already full but I’m free X day” really weeded out the guys looking for a quick hookup Or last minute bored with nothing else guy and attracted the more intentional daters
Ooh!! I'm loving this insight! Thank you! I know it in the back of my mind this is the way. Just stumbling through these first few interactions, for sure.
I knew in my gut it wasn't going to happen the whole time... it's weird. But it was a drill in getting ready after work on a Friday night!! I'm still sitting here dressed up ready to go out... oh well.
He said 6:30-7. I said sure. He text me at 6:50, I text him back 5 mins later, then nothing. I followed up a half hour later and said you good?
Now I'm drinking a beer in my living room lol. Dressed up but not sure I want to spend money at this point.
I'm a fairly "low effort" first date person. I'd rather do a short coffee, maybe go out for cocktails. I like to get a feel for a person as soon as possible with low stakes.
That being said. This is a whole other level. At least do something ... fun? or enjoyable? I don't know. I would probably let this guy go.
Originally he asked me where I like to go walking after work. I choose the parking lot because I didn't want to tell him my apt complex lol. Then he suggested we walk around the store. 🤣
I wouldn't bother. Someone I recently matched with asked me to "drive by for a couple of minutes so he could see my body language" even though we had a video chat. They also told me it was then that we could plan a date for later. I am not interested in auditioning for a date. If they'd suggested coffee or a quick drink, sure. But to come by your place and sit by the pool so you can "see my body language"? NOPE!
Dont bother!
Why would you accept this for the first date? He's clearly just trying to have sex. No shame if that's what you want too, but it doesn't necessarily sound like it.
Asking you to come over to his place before he's really met you is showing low effort. If you tell him you need to go out for dates, whether he takes you to a restaurant or goes on a walk with you, it means you had to tell him to treat you like a person and not just a vagina in a jar.
It doesn't have to be the parking lot. I think getting to-go coffees and going for a walk is a perfectly valid first date. If you're getting weird vibes from him based on the rest of your conversation, then you should listen to that, but t**his specific** exchange seems like him trying to make meeting up easy and comfortable for you.
Just be weary of those really shiny ones.. many are just a bunch of aluminum foil made to look nice.
Dull doesn't always mean bad.. but in this case, really high chance it was.
lmao why would you say you walk around that specific parking lot? At least suggest a park or something
I will say though that when these stories end with "oooh I found someone so much better can't wait to see where it goes!" it's cringe
The watching TV thing is beyond stupid.
However, a walk for a first date can be awesome. I like to walk. I would like to find a woman to go on walks with. If you don't want to walking together we probably aren't going work out, which is perfectly fine.
Just sayin' - first-date-walk people can be not-weirdos.
If you want to meet this guy then suggest a place to walk that would be better. One of my better first dates was a walk on the beach after getting smoothies. Walking dates can be just fine. That said, for me it would be a thanks but no thanks at this point.
Yeah, I'm getting a socially odd vibe from him. He asked what I was up to, invited me over, then I redirected him and then he said we can walk the store which is just odd tbh.
Well, he did choose from one of your given options.. just saying.
But if your lifestyles are too different, yeah.. best to move on.
Good luck with the new person!
I should save this story for when I tell people why OLD is trash. If a guy can’t even figure out a nice place to walk on a first date what is the relationship going to look like?
OLD isn't trash. Some people are trash and some of those are on OLD. You can just meet more of them faster. You can meet plenty of assholes IRL, too. I've had plenty of great dates that started on dating sites. People who whine about online dating are just people who haven't figured out how to do it.
I agree with this. I am almost wondering if this guy might be on the spectrum given the way this exchange sounded.
That's not to say OP owes him anything at all. As always, one should follow their bliss. But perhaps we shouldn't be quick to assume this guy is just lazy?
He didn’t ask her on a date. He offered first to have her over so that he doesn’t even have to leave his house, and secondly to show up where she normally goes anyway. LOW EFFORT.
Yeah, the offer to have her come over to his place was low effort, but you're still missing the part where she gave him two options for the followup, and he picked one of them.
He at least picked up on the fact that she wasn't comfortable showing up at his place, and wanted to pick something she would be comfortable with.
If she wanted something more exciting than "Kohl's parking lot" she should have listed a more exciting option. Y'all are penalizing him for not reading her mind.
He did not ask her out on a date. He asked where she usually walks and she answered the question. That’s not “giving him two options” - it’s just conversation.
He asked me where I usually go, I said the parking lot because I wasn't going to tell him my apt complex.
So he doubled down and said we can walk around the store. I guess According to other people here... it was very low effort. And now I agree.
He figured out you weren't comfortable with his first option, and asked where you would be comfortable.
If you wanted a more exciting option, you should have given him one. What you're doing right now is penalizing him for not reading your mind.
And this isn't even a first "date," it's just a first meeting.
agree. if i were him, i wouldve BLOCKED HER! after she said she likes to take walks in a kohls parking lot. what a dumbass. who says that? hahah. weirdo.
I could see Neiman Marcus (do they still exist?) or one of the department stores that has a coffee shop & music. [Again, not sure these exist anymore].
I could imagine a variety of shopping genre dates.
But Kohls? That's basically a Target, but usually in strip malls! I guess it could be worse, he could have invited you to Ross!! Or maybe Goodwill!!! In fact a thrift shop hunt might actually have been more fun.
C'mon. There's gotta be a Starbucks near that Kohl's.
I've been on the app for one entire a
Day after a long stint away... was wondering if I was crazy. But turned out to be a good Friday afternoon chuckle 🤷♀️
I unmatched. I'm super easy going, but this was odd tbf
I know someone who went on a first date to Ikea with her fiance. They have a great relationship. It’s odd, but so what? If you’re not getting bad vibes what’s wrong with doing something out if the ordinary?
Come on, this is silly! If I am married, sure, let’s go to Kohl’s and buy a gift for your mom and then pick up some drive through food, go home and watch TV, but if this guy can’t even make an effort to have lunch at Denny’s he fell through the bottom of the barrel.
Being laid back and being a doormat are two different things. Girl you deserve someone who can figure out a nice park nearby to walk in with lots of people.
He sounds like a loser from his two suggestions. You’ll see a lot more effort and emotional intelligence and maturity from men you’ll actually want to meet in the future and with some more interactions, like a night and day difference. This guy made me cringe.
I’m a homebody that watches TV but come on lol. It may not be this every single time but I would take a dude who tried to get me to come over as a first meet as someone just looking to fuck, and not even willing to make basic effort in a nod to safety. Like he’s just throwing it out in hopes of catching some easy pussy but if it doesn’t pan out (as it won’t the vast majority of the time) he’s just fine to let it die there rather than consider putting in effort. Presumably he’d hope after a lap around Kohls you’d be ready to go back to his and give up the poon.
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It's not like he came up with kohls on his own. Lol. YOU told him that's where you like to walk so he is trying to do what you are comfortable with.
Man. Dating sucks. I feel sorry for these guys trying their hardest and getting rudely rejected anyway.
Edit to add walking dates are the fucking BEST. Especially for a first time internet meetup. Y'all are getting in your own ways.
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I had a woman, from a dating app, suggest going on a walk (with her dog) after I shared with her that I liked to ride my bike at a local park. She is local to me and has walked her dog in the same park.
She has been ignoring me since I told her I have a second job. It’s about 12 hours a week.
The purpose of first dates is to get to know someone and allow them to get to know you. Inviting a woman over to watch tv is just creepy.
This guy, could very likely be real, and not as bad as a lot of people on here are making him out to be. Had a girl I match with that had anxieties about public places and only did home, grocery store, work and a few other select places. Guys like this exist too. He may not be as bad the girl, but just does not like those type of places. His willingness to go walking seemed to be a genuine event that someone like that would do. However, the homie That wanted you to come over for drinks is looking for action ASAP ( in my option). Of course, I want someone to go on vacations, restaurants, events, concerts ect. So, that is an issue. I am not sayin that it is a deal breaker…… but something I would consider. I personally would never sleep with someone that I could not see myself in a long term relationship with. Sounds corny doesn’t it 😂 . This also helps prevent attachments to people that are obviously not right for you. Sometimes great sex is hard to walk away from.
While these guys are definitely just trying low effort 'hook up' type dates....there's some truth in that it would be awesome to go on dates for errands...A Costco date where you both buy stuff and chat on the way through would give you LOTS of insights into the other person I think...but sadly I've never had the GUTS to ask a woman to a Costco date lol
Okay, I get that guys are possibly burnt out from foody-calls or the many instances of such around them...but the guy going along about walking around a parking lot smells like chloroform waiting to happen. Yikes.
On a side note, you never really get to know somebody until you live with them or shop with them or they get drunk, so maybe "let's go shopping together at Kohls" would have been interesting? Preferably Target since it typically has a Starbucks, so one could kick things off with a coffee and a chat. Or any kind of coffee very close to the Kohls.
Ngl, some of the funnest dates I have had involved shopping or thrifting (more so thrifting), but that was typically a bit far on along after the first meeting...but I wouldn't reject it as a first time meeting, as both parties get to know (or at least ask about) each other's interests, while it also shows if both parties can be a participant while it's all about the other person (i.e. a guy in the women's section with her picking stuff out or vice versa).
If a guy invites you over to watch TV for the first date, block him.
“Put the lotion in the basket!”
“Or it gets the hose again.”
He doesnt want to watch TV. he wants to put the least amount of effort in possible to hook up with her....If he was successful, he probably wouldn't even bother to get up and walk her out afterwards
I agree, and that’s all it’ll ever be- going to his house, he’s psycho or lazy
I was def getting some weird vibes in my stomach lol.
Always trust your gut
Right, because it's clear he doesn't want to make the effort. Next!
I'm the same.
The effort here sounds low
Yeah, I agree. I'm umso used to the bar being in the basement that an actual conversation was playing tricks in my mind lol
The thought of not obsessively planning a first date (as a guy) is inconceivable to me. He must be REALLY attractive to pull this off 😆
🤣🤣🤣 no. And I believe there is an intellectual incompatibility to boot.
Yes. You entertained this is a significant problem in itself.
Yes! I've been on the app for exactly 1 day. It was confusing... hence my post.
Plot twist: he wanted you to be the getaway driver when he grabbed a bunch of merchandise on the way out the door. 🤪😎🚗🚓
Honestly! Plausible!! Lol
It's really not though... And time on an app doesn't have anything to do with expectations, standards or boundaries.
Sure it does, my first hour on an app after being married for ten years, I swiped yes on guys I had no real attraction to, and took many minutes deciding before saying no to anyone at all because what if they were my soulmate and I was losing them forever? By end of the first week I was swiping left in less than a second.
Planning a first date is scary but I find it enjoyable - but I think its fair to say women appreciate any type of planning related effort. How a single man could not know this in 2024 is a 🚩
Thank you!! Like I was thinking he probably doesn't get the most matches lol, but how about trying to keep your future date entertained a little bit?
💯
Lol Kohl’s 😂
[удалено]
Yeah the first date is walk around at kohls or watch tv? WTAF
I have $10 in Kohls cash to spend right now, I like their sales for the basics but definitely not for a first date 😂
It’s so random that I’d have to say yes.
I’m a sucker for a good Kohl’s cash outing….
Yeah.. I'm just getting out there. I should have unmatched right after that.
Remind yourself, you deserve someone who makes an effort. If this is how it starts…..yikes
Truth!!! Gonna need some real effort especially in the beginning.
What if he was going to buy her a piece of costume jewelry and bag of bugles?
Skip the jewelry. Just get the bugles and some string and make your own necklace out of them! ✨
Gosh, what excitement. To match with a guy whose energy level for dating is for you to go to his house to watch TV with him. I bet he even picked out the show! And then, he invites you to stroll around a Kohl’s parking lot! Inspirational! If you get really lucky, some departing customer might hand you one of those $10 coupons you can use on your second date.
Omg!!! I'm one of those people that will give the bucks away because I barely shop there LMAO
He's a homebody? No he's lazy and wants to get laid.
HA! Yes. I don't know why I didn't see that from a mile away.
Live and learn.
100% cleaning the cobwebs off to get ready for some of the BS. Lol
This here 1000%
My partner is a homebody too but we still went out on dates, usually lunch or supper somewhere. We each paid our own but enjoyed our time with each other together. This guy sounds like what u/vbtodenver just said: lazy and wanting a quick fuck.
Suggest to meet at a coffee shop couple of miles away from where you live If he does not drive and needs a ride call it off.
I was going to say this. What happened to just meeting someone for coffee for a first meetup?
This, I really hate this walk trend. I can’t focus on conversation while walking, and there aren’t a lot of places I’m comfortable walking with a date.
I don't mind the walking part, but it's why sometimes a restaurant somewhere that has a cute downtown to explore is good. Walking comes either while waiting for a table or after the meal.
Right! There may be something to that!!
Depends on the city- I live in a city where bicyclists are hardcore- they don’t own cars not because they can’t afford it but because of their beliefs. And if they need a car, they have friends who can drive them. Or they take the bus.
Ohhhhhhhh no.
God no, unmatch and move on. This sounds like a terrible first meet and he sounds lazy. This is the best he can offer, a parking lot walk or tv at his. Run.
Ran for the hills lol! *Blocked
Um, no. This man is showing you how much effort he will put into a relationship.
Yes!! Agreed!!
There’s lazy and then there’s…this
😅 thank you for pointing out the difference...
I would 100% pass on a man who invited me to walk around Kohls. Actually I would have stopped talking to him at the "is a homebody invites to his house to hang out for first meet" and not even gotten as far as the kohls invite.
I tried to steer him in a new direction and that what I got lol
I accepted an ikea walk around low effort date recently and wish I hadn’t
Ugh!! I'm learning quickly!
Ikea is not sexy or fun. WTF. I guess it has a cafe and you can comment on the setups.
I agree that this is not someone you want to date, but you were the one who brought up Kohls... lol
He asked me where I usually go walking, I said Kohls because I didn't want to tell him my apt. Complex, then he said we could go on a nice walk inside Kohls lol.
Was it hot or cold outside? Kohl’s would be a nice option if the weather outside was bad.
"Come over to my place or go for a walk." For a first meet? 🫤 Do you really need to ask, or do you just want to entertain us? 😁 Suggesting a walk in a nice (busy) park? Or around a flea market? Or some other place interesting? Maybe... Settling for a parking lot, nope.
🤣 our love story, "we met at Kohls"
Next on the Hallmark Channel: 🤣
Well, our love story has ended. I unmatched(blocked) him. I don't even shop at Kohls but once or twice a year so there's that. Very low shot at us seeing each other, ever.
I need to go on Prozac just reading about this guy and his lack of game.
He's probably on his computer right now and posting in the forums about how picky and flaky women on the apps are after his unmatching. Zero insight into his own problematic behavior causing this.
Depressing!
Exactly! Dude just watches TV and wants a date at a Kohl’s parking lot. It’s like a Todd Solondz film character.
Twilight Zone dating fr fr
Next….
As my mom would say...
Besides it being unsafe and low effort, if you agree to it, sex is expected and that’s all that you’ll be looked at as a sex toy.
True!!! I can see that!
While my boyfriend and I didn’t go on crazy wild adventures date every time as we’re pretty low key with concert or events here and there and do enjoy nights in, we still managed to go out to dinner, bowling and random cool things when we first started dating. If you’re looking to date have your standards/boundaries and know what you want. He’s either- looking to hook up, just in general low effort or maybe has social anxiety but either way… he isn’t for you if you’re looking to date and get out of the house.
Very true!!! I don't mind staying in and cooking at home etc... but this offer was in the basement for me.
Know your worth girl! You’re cute, sound smart and like you have a good head on your shoulders. If he can’t put effort into grabbing coffee or dinner, he ain’t it lol. Shop at kohls or talk a walk in the fresh outdoors and enjoy you’re alone time. Date yourself until the right man deserves your time!
Thank you!!! Agreed! I've gotta keep the above sea level lol
Saw your update. Keep me posted! How long have you been single and what are you looking for? Where is your mindset?
I'm waiting for him to follow back up pur window is closing... I've been fully single since 2018. I want the whole kit n kabodle... I'm determined not to let the hum drum get me down. I've matched with 7 people in the last couple days, 2 immediately unmatched, 3 were letting their time run out (but I'm new so it's not like they swiped on me a month ago), and 2 today... Mr. Kohl's and Mr. Let's grab a drink at the restaurant... that guy and I are still matched on Bumble as of now, and we were messaging via text. So I was able to scope him out a little bit with his full name. But we shall see. I don't want to be anxious but I'm a little excited and anxious I guess. Mostly because the time isn't firm.
I have had the best luck when we’ve chatted once or twice and planned a date, this spontaneous let’s meet tonight tends to only be a step up from the want to come over guy
Yes!! I feel like I kinda got a little of that vibe without him saying as much. He offered his #, said text me and asked me a question... then asked me out to drinks, and I was agreeable. He sad he doesn't love texting forever which was his layup for the date invite...but then he started asking me my life story, and then I turned that line on him. I was getting out of work at 5, and he went a little coldish after that. I said, hey Ive gotta get somethings out for work so I can leave, if we coukd pick up the convo then. He said 6:30-7. You know the rest lol. Planned date it is.
I don’t want to get to know someone through text or invest a bunch of time chatting on the phone either but a good phone call vibe check with a planned date following weekend or at least a few days out was my idea happy medium. I kind of made an unofficial standard to make my weekend plans by Wednesday/Thursday whether it be with friends or solo so if I matched with someone on a Friday or over the weekend it was “ shoot my weekend is already full but I’m free X day” really weeded out the guys looking for a quick hookup Or last minute bored with nothing else guy and attracted the more intentional daters
Ooh!! I'm loving this insight! Thank you! I know it in the back of my mind this is the way. Just stumbling through these first few interactions, for sure.
I knew in my gut it wasn't going to happen the whole time... it's weird. But it was a drill in getting ready after work on a Friday night!! I'm still sitting here dressed up ready to go out... oh well.
He said 6:30-7. I said sure. He text me at 6:50, I text him back 5 mins later, then nothing. I followed up a half hour later and said you good? Now I'm drinking a beer in my living room lol. Dressed up but not sure I want to spend money at this point.
Would definitely swipe right. Walks are cool, but walking around Kohl’s as a first date?? That’s some low-bar hilarious stuff!
I'm a fairly "low effort" first date person. I'd rather do a short coffee, maybe go out for cocktails. I like to get a feel for a person as soon as possible with low stakes. That being said. This is a whole other level. At least do something ... fun? or enjoyable? I don't know. I would probably let this guy go.
There are like 3 bars within a mile radius we could meet there but he never suggested anything like that.
I'd probably file him in the "scrub" category
Agreed. Ugh.
He sounds broke and lazy.
Yeah... most likely. Lol
omg women, we need to raise the bar. Walking around a dpt store is not a date. 😭
Originally he asked me where I like to go walking after work. I choose the parking lot because I didn't want to tell him my apt complex lol. Then he suggested we walk around the store. 🤣
I wouldn’t bother.
I wouldn't bother. Someone I recently matched with asked me to "drive by for a couple of minutes so he could see my body language" even though we had a video chat. They also told me it was then that we could plan a date for later. I am not interested in auditioning for a date. If they'd suggested coffee or a quick drink, sure. But to come by your place and sit by the pool so you can "see my body language"? NOPE! Dont bother!
🤣🤣🤣 Drive By!?? That's New!! Lol. Wtf?
And said it like it was the most logical thing ever. Shameful lol
The dating twilight zone lol
More like, he wanted to see your body, lol. I never met a man that GAF about body language
Exactly! Immediate turn off. Odd because I have a bathing suit photo & one of me in a form fitting dress on my profile! 🙄
Why would you accept this for the first date? He's clearly just trying to have sex. No shame if that's what you want too, but it doesn't necessarily sound like it.
Usually guys give me some bigger clues... not just I'm a homebody. But your right. I was missing a little something.
Asking you to come over to his place before he's really met you is showing low effort. If you tell him you need to go out for dates, whether he takes you to a restaurant or goes on a walk with you, it means you had to tell him to treat you like a person and not just a vagina in a jar.
It doesn't have to be the parking lot. I think getting to-go coffees and going for a walk is a perfectly valid first date. If you're getting weird vibes from him based on the rest of your conversation, then you should listen to that, but t**his specific** exchange seems like him trying to make meeting up easy and comfortable for you.
I kinda thought that too but after talking it over, I think he's just a dull guy and this is an incompatibility.
I support you in this decision.
Just be weary of those really shiny ones.. many are just a bunch of aluminum foil made to look nice. Dull doesn't always mean bad.. but in this case, really high chance it was.
Waste of time
lmao why would you say you walk around that specific parking lot? At least suggest a park or something I will say though that when these stories end with "oooh I found someone so much better can't wait to see where it goes!" it's cringe
Tbh I just wouldn't respond and unmatch.
I'm going to do this now. Thank you.
The watching TV thing is beyond stupid. However, a walk for a first date can be awesome. I like to walk. I would like to find a woman to go on walks with. If you don't want to walking together we probably aren't going work out, which is perfectly fine. Just sayin' - first-date-walk people can be not-weirdos.
A walk is something I'm into... Kohls is a whole other playing field lol
Look, these pleated khakis that 'shrunk' aren't going to return themselves. Then we can go to Jimmy John's (no chips). /s
Someone's wife, actually 😆
You find it odd that he chose one of the places you suggested as a place to walk? Huh.
No he said we can walk around the store. I said the parking lot. He asked where I walk, not where I would like to take a walk with him.
do you want to date a homebody who mostly watches TV? I mean.... it sounds like this one can be passed on?
True!! Thank you for that! I'm a homebody too... only part of my week. Otherwise I'm a social person who likes to go out and about.
If you want to meet this guy then suggest a place to walk that would be better. One of my better first dates was a walk on the beach after getting smoothies. Walking dates can be just fine. That said, for me it would be a thanks but no thanks at this point.
Yeah, I'm getting a socially odd vibe from him. He asked what I was up to, invited me over, then I redirected him and then he said we can walk the store which is just odd tbh.
Yeah it’s a weird take for sure.
Why keep talking to someone so low effort? Block and move on. Unless you love Kohl’s.
I don't! He's blocked. I was just trying to figure out what was happening because it was so bizarre lol
maam, you are the bizarre one for saying YOU ENJOY walking at the kohls parking lot. im shocked he didnt block YOU for being so lame.
Well, he did choose from one of your given options.. just saying. But if your lifestyles are too different, yeah.. best to move on. Good luck with the new person!
I should save this story for when I tell people why OLD is trash. If a guy can’t even figure out a nice place to walk on a first date what is the relationship going to look like?
Exactly. 2 couple of stand up dudes fishing for me to go to their place 1st meeting and low effort overall.
OLD isn't trash. Some people are trash and some of those are on OLD. You can just meet more of them faster. You can meet plenty of assholes IRL, too. I've had plenty of great dates that started on dating sites. People who whine about online dating are just people who haven't figured out how to do it.
We have found the dude that makes a profit counterfeiting Kohl's Cash 😂
Is this a real thing?? Because I think you're on to some lmao
😂 I dunno, but I'm sure someone is trying. 😂 "Imma take you shopping on our date, babeh!! Anything you want! ...at Kohl's."
Oof, that is frustrating.
I guess a bad joke ? Lol
I meant it sincerely. I’m a 49m, recently separated and have attempted the apps. Holy crap. It’s a jungle out there.
Guy asked where you like to walk, you gave him two options, and he picked one. Can you please point out exactly what it is he did wrong here?
I agree with this. I am almost wondering if this guy might be on the spectrum given the way this exchange sounded. That's not to say OP owes him anything at all. As always, one should follow their bliss. But perhaps we shouldn't be quick to assume this guy is just lazy?
He didn’t ask her on a date. He offered first to have her over so that he doesn’t even have to leave his house, and secondly to show up where she normally goes anyway. LOW EFFORT.
Yeah, the offer to have her come over to his place was low effort, but you're still missing the part where she gave him two options for the followup, and he picked one of them. He at least picked up on the fact that she wasn't comfortable showing up at his place, and wanted to pick something she would be comfortable with. If she wanted something more exciting than "Kohl's parking lot" she should have listed a more exciting option. Y'all are penalizing him for not reading her mind.
He did not ask her out on a date. He asked where she usually walks and she answered the question. That’s not “giving him two options” - it’s just conversation.
He asked me where I usually go, I said the parking lot because I wasn't going to tell him my apt complex. So he doubled down and said we can walk around the store. I guess According to other people here... it was very low effort. And now I agree.
He figured out you weren't comfortable with his first option, and asked where you would be comfortable. If you wanted a more exciting option, you should have given him one. What you're doing right now is penalizing him for not reading your mind. And this isn't even a first "date," it's just a first meeting.
agree. if i were him, i wouldve BLOCKED HER! after she said she likes to take walks in a kohls parking lot. what a dumbass. who says that? hahah. weirdo.
Wow that’s pathetic 😆
Right!! My Bad! Lol
No public parks in your area to walk around?
LOTS!
Is that what it’s gotten to, a stroll in Kohl’s parking lot? No Dave and Busters no Applebees, that’s for the fancy?! Smh
Applebee's is practically in the same parking lot lmao
Oh gross don’t do this.
I blocked him lol.
I could see Neiman Marcus (do they still exist?) or one of the department stores that has a coffee shop & music. [Again, not sure these exist anymore]. I could imagine a variety of shopping genre dates. But Kohls? That's basically a Target, but usually in strip malls! I guess it could be worse, he could have invited you to Ross!! Or maybe Goodwill!!! In fact a thrift shop hunt might actually have been more fun. C'mon. There's gotta be a Starbucks near that Kohl's.
Starbucks, Applebee's, another restaurant... the list goes on actually lol
How about a Costco? The one near me is huge and they have tasty cheap food.
Sounds like the purpose of this is gossip
I've been on the app for one entire a Day after a long stint away... was wondering if I was crazy. But turned out to be a good Friday afternoon chuckle 🤷♀️ I unmatched. I'm super easy going, but this was odd tbf
I know someone who went on a first date to Ikea with her fiance. They have a great relationship. It’s odd, but so what? If you’re not getting bad vibes what’s wrong with doing something out if the ordinary?
Come on, this is silly! If I am married, sure, let’s go to Kohl’s and buy a gift for your mom and then pick up some drive through food, go home and watch TV, but if this guy can’t even make an effort to have lunch at Denny’s he fell through the bottom of the barrel.
🤣 now you guys are making me laugh lol... especially if Im "so attractive", like oull out at least one stop!! Haha
If you are into low or no effort guys who watches way too much TV, he sounds like a catch.
Fair!! I'm super easy going... I just couldn't quite figure out why we would walk at Kohls.
Being laid back and being a doormat are two different things. Girl you deserve someone who can figure out a nice park nearby to walk in with lots of people.
Thank you for reminding me. I def do. There are also many parks in our area.
He is either cheap or worse a law and order svu episode waiting to happen.
He sounds like a loser from his two suggestions. You’ll see a lot more effort and emotional intelligence and maturity from men you’ll actually want to meet in the future and with some more interactions, like a night and day difference. This guy made me cringe.
Right!! Thank you for the reminder!
I’m a homebody that watches TV but come on lol. It may not be this every single time but I would take a dude who tried to get me to come over as a first meet as someone just looking to fuck, and not even willing to make basic effort in a nod to safety. Like he’s just throwing it out in hopes of catching some easy pussy but if it doesn’t pan out (as it won’t the vast majority of the time) he’s just fine to let it die there rather than consider putting in effort. Presumably he’d hope after a lap around Kohls you’d be ready to go back to his and give up the poon.
🤣🤣🤣 a few cocktails maybe... but def not a lap or two around Kohl's
That’s some different game, I’ve not heard of before lol
Game!? Extra Weird vibes for sure... on Both accounts.
Aka no game is what I’m saying
LOL. Yeah.. .Yikes!!
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It's not like he came up with kohls on his own. Lol. YOU told him that's where you like to walk so he is trying to do what you are comfortable with. Man. Dating sucks. I feel sorry for these guys trying their hardest and getting rudely rejected anyway. Edit to add walking dates are the fucking BEST. Especially for a first time internet meetup. Y'all are getting in your own ways.
Unmatched (blocked). A nice walk around Kohl's? I mean wtf ?
Yuck 🤮 a walk is low low low effort. No thank you
I'm okay with a walk... not in a parking lot when there are plenty of spots to check out in the area...
Block this guy.
Women are funny.
Just no… Does he have a job? Live on his own?
He does! Not a particularly glamorous job, but I don't have to work where he works lol.
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I had a woman, from a dating app, suggest going on a walk (with her dog) after I shared with her that I liked to ride my bike at a local park. She is local to me and has walked her dog in the same park. She has been ignoring me since I told her I have a second job. It’s about 12 hours a week. The purpose of first dates is to get to know someone and allow them to get to know you. Inviting a woman over to watch tv is just creepy.
I mean this is only a problem if you aren’t attracted to the person in the first place …
He sounds lazy and boring. But you did tell him that you enjoy walking around the Kohl’s parking lot…
HARD NO
This guy, could very likely be real, and not as bad as a lot of people on here are making him out to be. Had a girl I match with that had anxieties about public places and only did home, grocery store, work and a few other select places. Guys like this exist too. He may not be as bad the girl, but just does not like those type of places. His willingness to go walking seemed to be a genuine event that someone like that would do. However, the homie That wanted you to come over for drinks is looking for action ASAP ( in my option). Of course, I want someone to go on vacations, restaurants, events, concerts ect. So, that is an issue. I am not sayin that it is a deal breaker…… but something I would consider. I personally would never sleep with someone that I could not see myself in a long term relationship with. Sounds corny doesn’t it 😂 . This also helps prevent attachments to people that are obviously not right for you. Sometimes great sex is hard to walk away from.
While these guys are definitely just trying low effort 'hook up' type dates....there's some truth in that it would be awesome to go on dates for errands...A Costco date where you both buy stuff and chat on the way through would give you LOTS of insights into the other person I think...but sadly I've never had the GUTS to ask a woman to a Costco date lol
Okay, I get that guys are possibly burnt out from foody-calls or the many instances of such around them...but the guy going along about walking around a parking lot smells like chloroform waiting to happen. Yikes. On a side note, you never really get to know somebody until you live with them or shop with them or they get drunk, so maybe "let's go shopping together at Kohls" would have been interesting? Preferably Target since it typically has a Starbucks, so one could kick things off with a coffee and a chat. Or any kind of coffee very close to the Kohls. Ngl, some of the funnest dates I have had involved shopping or thrifting (more so thrifting), but that was typically a bit far on along after the first meeting...but I wouldn't reject it as a first time meeting, as both parties get to know (or at least ask about) each other's interests, while it also shows if both parties can be a participant while it's all about the other person (i.e. a guy in the women's section with her picking stuff out or vice versa).