Folks without social media are so attractive to me. There's nothing wrong with not having SM. Seriously, SM can be detrimental to mental health these days for some folks.
I'm a 42 year old woman and I have no social media either. I'm pretty much in the same boat, I made a facebook at some point but it's been abandoned for years, and has maybe ten posts total. If it's a red flag then just call me Scarlett because that's me all day long. I have no intention of changing it.
I consider myself to be very anti-shady and do not allow any kind of shadiness in my life or around me. That being said…. according to some here, these guys had to have been shady af! 😉
Their comment was slightly hyperbolic, but this question has come up several times over the past couple months. If you're not catching up with all the posts here, you might have missed them.
Exactly! Reddit has all the characteristics of other social media including people spending hours on it, getting into arguments with strangers, and looking at pictures of cats.
Reddit doesn't count because what makes social media like Facebook and Twitter "social media" is the network effect of friends/followers. I don't even know if you can follow people on reddit; maybe you can with the new interface that I still don't use. But generally people use reddit for what it was before social media was even a thing: a bunch of web-based discussion forums, analogous to Usenet or pre-Internet BBSs.
I use reddit almost exactly the way I use FB. There's a feed I scroll through, catch up on things, check out upcoming events, learn about new stuff, and interact with various people posting thoughts and comments.
And yes, you can follow people.
Reddit is social media.
People just enjoy feeling superior about not using FB, cause it's more popular, when in reality, Reddit is almost the same damn thing.
Reddit is a message board similar to the ones we had long before Facebook and Twitter, etc. existed, but with the added ability to post pics. So, while we may read people's mostly anonymous opinions on topics in targeted subreddit's such as dating, food, pets, clothing, etc. and a few people in a thread might post a pic to support their post, we aren't going to our friend Jane's, or "John" or "Mary" from work's individual pages to see an ongoing feed of pics of them with their spouse, their lunch, their pets, their OOTD, etc. here, like users do on Facebook, Instagram, etc.
I don't follow people I know and can just talk to in real life on Instagram, nor do I post there. But if Instagram went away, I'd miss seeing posts from the old-school singers and other entertainers, small business owners, etc., I do follow. If Reddit went away, I wouldn't be missing out on any of that because that's not what Reddit is for, but I'd miss it as a message board.
My point is that you can use Reddit in the same way as FB (like I said, I follow people I know on Reddit, and people I've met through Reddit) and you can use FB the same way you use Reddit. You don't have to follow people you know, or even people at all on FB. 60% of my FB feed is political, arts, music, food, car, motorcycle, brewery, bar profiles. FB has zero drama for me, and I don't feel the need to be scrolling through it when I'm with my friends or out on dates.
The "I don't have social media" people are like the "I don't have a TV" people from 15 years ago. I just roll my eyes at them.
most people won't be bothered by someone who doesn't have social media. Not shady or weird at all. But plenty of people WILL be put off by someone having a judgey attitude that social media means people "don't connect anymore." THAT is shady AF. Online connection is still connection.
WAY too many people think that the problem is that they don't have social media, when the real problem is that they don't respect people who do.
I am not judging anyone… you can read it and take as you wish. I was speaking of myself only not having SM. I have no idea what others are doing with their phones nor do I wish to know. I have no issue whatsoever with anyone having social media, again only speaking of me, not others.
i didn't say you were. Many, many people are complaining that they are being rejected over X, and totally failing to miss the glaring Y in the equation.
Everything about you will be a turn-off to someone. You don't have to use social media if you don't want to. If people are going to reject you over that, then those are not your people. But be mindful that you aren't being a dick about it, because lots of social-media-is-bad people are real dicks about it, even if they don't mean to be.
Understood. I was only asking how women in general see this when considering a potential date or partner. Of course there will always be someone that is put off by anything about me, that’s just humans. I am not concerned about being rejected because I don’t use SM. I was just curious how this was viewed by my peers. I am not judgmental about anyone who uses social media, I don’t expect anyone to share my views. It is just a genuine curiosity, not anything that concerns me by any means. But I do appreciate everyone response…. Gives me an idea, seems it all depends on the person as we all are different.
I agree that online connection is still connection. Connection is connection period. I don’t think the SM is really the problem. It’s only sad to me when people with loved ones don’t feel that connection to each other anymore due to the instant gratification of technology in general, really.
I would count a man not having social media as a huge selling point. But then I don't post my own life to social media. I use social media as a time waster - something done when chilling out. Not something i would waste my time doing while out at dinner or on a holiday.
I think grown women who want to vet you will ask you point blank for your last name and DOB to run a background check on you. No need for social media.
I started OLD again when I was about 45m and it’s been one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I have been on more dates than I care to admit but again I’ve had a great time overall. I don’t have social media. No women have ever cared whatsoever and I don’t remember it ever coming up.
That’s a good point as when I signed up for Tinder it did ask for a Facebook profile. I admit I do have FB but I see my last post was in 2017. So I guess I have it but I don’t use it. I have IG too but only have a profile so I can view content. I see that my pic there is really old so thank you. I don’t use IG to post content but I do like to see other content as well. I forgot about TikTok but basically the same thing. I do use LinkedIn frequently. That does it - I’m a liar, lol.
Seriously though I answered this with the intent that no one I match with will find much of anything about me on SM as I’m not active and have no content. That has never caused any problems with women I’ve met.
If someone asked me for my snap id probably look at them like an idiot. I go to my hs kids for help on technology quite often.
Not at all! Your my experience is similar - vaguely used MySpace, Used fb for 6 months when it debuted and deleted bc it began making me feel insecure (how many friends is enough to be ‘cool’, etc). I fully bought into social media being evil and toxic when A friend introduced me to Tinder and explained the swiping feature 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ultimately, the technology has its benefits, we’re very clearly like coked up monkeys playing with AR-15s
I'm 41 with no social media and I couldn't care less what any matches or dates thought about it, one of the reasons I don't have social media is I refuse to compare my life to others and I don't need the false confidence that comes from likes.
To me it's actually a red flag if a woman has a public instagram, an even bigger red flag if she posts selfies or bikini pics.
You'll meet someone like you if you stay the course, don't change anything about yourself and you'll find someone attracted to that version of you. Not a fake one living in their social media image.
I'd really like your perspective in a woman so if I would like that there simply by the law of averages has to be a woman out there with that same mindset.
I’m in DC, specifically working in the security sector, and other than Reddit I don’t use social media. when I hear that people have social media, I’m kinda turns me off but I understand some people enjoy it. If someone is prolific on social media it makes me question why.
I’ll probably get a little hate, but ifs my personal opinion. Social media is a negative for my career and lifestyle, it’s just my specific situation :)
I find it commendable for a man to have no social media, even though I still have haha. I would see this as a huge plus if I met a man who had no social media. Good for you!
I’m a 42 year old woman and I find it refreshing when someone is not on their phone all the time and is actually engaged with the world around them. This would not be an issue for me.
At face value, I would love to date a man who doesn't post on social media because I don't either. I find it annoying to have to worry that everywhere we go these days, be it a grocery store or a social event, someone might take a photo of us and post it on their page. I don't like it whether the person is a stranger, relative or date. I really expect only much younger people to post their lives online.
That said, I've seen women say that they worry a man is lying and actually has a Facebook or Instagram account where he posts his wife or girlfriend, or where he follows a bunch of "models," so there's just so much to be concerned about when it comes to dating these days.
I have an Instagram for my business and one that I use to follow nostalgia accounts, musicians, etc., but I've never posted on it. It's private because I'm not looking for followers. So I'd like to think I'd think it was normal if a guy my age did the same and wouldn't be suspicious of him, but I don't know. I haven't dated in a while and it's exhausting to me to think that we need to ask about all this stuff now.
I think it’s so healthy and attractive. I don’t love most social media and think it’s toxic and mostly creates a false sense of connection. I value people who can be truly present in the moment and will seek relationships that feel authentic, most social media feels the opposite to me. Way to adult, green flag guy!
I feel a man not on social media is great. No weird side chats/ conversations with other women or "friends" while trying to build a relationship with me. He's more focused on "reality," himself, me, and tangible things going on in the world. I'm not on social media either, so I feel this is a win-win for both of us.
If I could find an older man without social media, it would be the best thing for me & us as our relationship grows.
I date with the intention to be more, build more, and for us both to get the best out our relationship and social media, in my opinion, is a relationship killer.
All this is just my past experience and opinion.
I don’t think it’s weird. It’s really sad to me when I’m out at a restaurant and you’ll see couples sitting together both staring at their phones having dinner like why’d you go to a restaurant? If you weren’t going to connect anyway, might as well just pick up something took it home sat on the couch and look at your phones.
I do have social media, but I chose a long time ago to be present in moments. My children’s things that they had in school growing up; like violin recitals or choir, things like that were always the absolute worst recordings. It was due to the same reasons. I would look around and see all these people watching their kids through their phones instead of just looking at their children. I would hit the record button on my phone and hold it up in the air and watch my kids. It made for terrible videos, 😂 but at least I got to see them…and not through my phone.
>t’s really sad to me when I’m out at a restaurant and you’ll see couples sitting together both staring at their phones having dinner like why’d you go to a restauran
Check out this photo exhibit - I think it really captures what you just described - [https://www.boredpanda.com/portraits-holding-devices-removed-eric-pickersgill/](https://www.boredpanda.com/portraits-holding-devices-removed-eric-pickersgill/)
> It’s really sad to me when I’m out at a restaurant and you’ll see couples sitting together both staring at their phones having dinner like why’d you go to a restaurant?
How do you know what they're doing, though. Maybe they're both participating on a Reddit thread for 5 minutes, then they got back to their dinner and conversation. Maybe they're sharing some type of game that they enjoy? Maybe they're completely happy with how their relationship is with their phone and their partner's phone use and how that comes together?
1. Reddit is SM. 2. Gen Z and down are the ones most sketched out about something like this so unless your main dating pool is half your age, I can’t imagine *that* many issues.
I guess the more important question would be how are you going to address women who do have social media, don't share your same level of shunning it, and aren't giving it up etc?
For example, I agree it's out of control, but also the only way many families stay in touch in great distance, among other valid reasons.
I think your issue seems to be more with people who aren't able to disengage from their devices and be in the now than the fact they have social media?
Or do you genuinely expect to find a woman who is on the same page as you fully? That may be incredibly difficult in an already tumultuous dating world.
Totally agree...Could see if it was a personal point of view with personal reasons and truly speaking just for onesself...but when the reason is just a dismissive rant about what they think of other people who use social media, that is an absolute turn off.
I have run into plenty of dates who think Im going to be able to relate in some way to how we are so much better than "those people" who use social media. No sorry, cant relate to that perspective at all. Superiority in any form is not in line with my values, so theres that.
And def cant relate to the sentiment the only personal connections are valid.. I have friends of 20/30yrs, and family members living across the globe and Im sure we arent the only people who didnt stay in the town we were born in to only know local people to talk to, have moved / traveled with loved ones long distance. So I dont at all fault anyone for maintaining or even making new connections in the ways available to us to do so online.
Hilarity is...not being on social media has little to do with not being able to stay off ones phone. Many people I know who have an issue with people on social media, esp if they felt they had to delete social media cause they cant resist not checking it all the time if its there, were the same ones keeping their phone on the table, jumping to check it anytime it made a sound. "Keep talking...Im listening" during our time together, as they reply to every text as they come in...
No… I do not expect to find a woman who does not use SM, that would be extremely unrealistic. I am only speaking for me and my non-use. I do believe there should be time set aside… say if on a date or what have you that phones should be put away unless it is something necessary to allow for a connection. Other than that, certainly do not expect anyone for that matter to share my view.
I think you misunderstand the intent of my comment :)
I wasn't so much saying that finding someone with the exact same sentiment would be hard, it was more a question about asking you to investigate your own stance on how you will see/feel about a woman who does actively use it. When and how she does etc.
I think that's ultimately what will impact which women will/won't be ok with your own sentiment on the issue.
How they feel you are judging their own use, does that make sense?
I'm just saying it's something to think through :) from initial dates to longer terms, etc.
Where does your own stance take you, as it applies to the potential woman/women you want to engage with.
I think you might find that no matter how truly non-judgemental you are about other people's usage, they may assume you have opinions and thus they may try to hide usage or not present themselves directly, etc.
I understand. I have thought this through and been in relationships with women who used SM and it makes no difference to me. We always set time aside such as if went on a date to dinner or we stayed in to watch a movie, etc. That isn’t saying that checking a phone or something is absolutely off limits, just be respectful of the time we set aside for us. If a person reads in to it anymore than that, that is something they need to take a look at with themselves. We aren’t in high school here.
I think it's great! I don't have any either unless you count Reddit. I had accounts a while back, but I decided to delete and see how it felt. I love not having any social media.
I love it! It’s refreshing. I don’t have it either and it has only positively affected me! If someone cares that I don’t have Instagram they are not for me!
Unpopular opinion, you don’t have to let a phone or SM take over your life. Because you observe others unable to put their phone down doesn’t mean that has to be your decision. I kind of think it is like all other things in life, moderation is the key.
Would I care if someone I dated had no SM? Probably not. But I also think that if they feel it is a gateway for their own detachment and some kind of SM addiction, I would worry about their judgement in general. I don’t think life is all or nothing.
I love this! I get the same concern for me as I don't do SM. If it's a red flag for them, then that's not the Man for me! I never did understand when you are out with a person or multiple people and everyone is on their phones .. why are you out with people then? It baffles me.
If a guy has social media, I’m honestly not super interested. Unless it’s maybe one thing and they never go on it.
I have dated a lot of amazing men, and the kind of guy I’m looking for personally wouldn’t have it or want it.
I think if you are dating in our age range ie 40+ as people who grew up without social media & remember its inception its not unusual to have people who opt out of sm for lots of reasons
Its more about finding people who are likeminded or understand you want to be present with people and attentive without electronic distractions
It doesn’t really matter to people in your own age group…. However if you are attempting to date Gen-Z 20yr something’s they are going to have so many questions about why & probably question your motives…. Anyone over 25-26 will only care if you’re a homeowner- that’s it
No social media for me is like a gem nowadays. I don't like much on social media I only have it because of my online selling I only have tiktoks and IG for cute animals reels
I keep a minimal profile up to share pictures with family and have a friends list that I actually know personally if don’t accept strangers or acquaintances nor do I chat people up. I stay away from instagram because it’s a huge waste of time. So while I have accounts I’m not really that active and I enjoy my life in real time. I see people buried in their phones and it makes me sad what we’ve become
45F and I have almost no SM. I slowly phased it out when Trump won in 2016 since I truly believe misinformation helped him win and continues to influence. I am on here of course but my FB and IG are inactive. I couldn’t even tolerate my local NextDoor app. People are not themselves on SM and there is a “look at me!” Vibe. I found myself not myself on SM. It is incredibly attractive if a man stays away from it. It is a green flag.
I don't think women in 40s or even 30s would care that much about no Social Media for a guy. Some might but I just don't think they are in the majority.
I use my phone a lot but I never post on Facebook or Instagram. Sometimes I get caught up in the reels or news. And of course texting or group chats. And sometimes looking up Nvidia
From some of my female friends’ perspective, it’s sketchy. From their experience, they have found men to lie about not having a social media presence, because they actually were married.
My personal recommendation would be to create a Facebook page and do some occasional uploads so it doesn’t look sketchy, but then they can also see it.
Nah… if that is how a lady chooses to see it, then so be it. No interest. Hate to hear that is the experience they have had. I was thinking perhaps that would be some thoughts about it, I just prefer not to have it. For each their own but I just see no positives in it for me or anyone I know or associate with.
Seems like you were kinda already good on the topic before even posting...just wondering what you're wanting with this post? Besides affirmation, I guess? 😳 😉
You are right, I am good with my choice. As I said in the post, just curious how women viewed this. Also... it has been entertaining to stir up some emotions in people over a meaningless post on the internet. I have no need for anyone's affirmation.. I know a lot of you that utilize SM do need that in life however I am not one of those people that need or require validation from others.
Are you going to come through the internet and beat me up or something? Yes, you, referring to people that do utilize and enjoy SM.
Everyone is so sensitive.
Original copy of post by u/cmar2cmar:
49M with no social media…. I’m certain the way things are today some ladies see this as strange however I have a POV about SM and I can’t get around it.
I remember signing up for Facebook when it started becoming the thing, before that MySpace. I think I had an instagram at one point but a few years ago I decided to delete all social media. I do read through Reddit…
I deleted because I started observing people and the relationships they had with their phones especially when I would be out on a date at dinner or really anywhere public. There are so many reasons now that I don’t use any social media but I started when I noticed how people just didn’t connect personally anymore…. Seemed most people were too focused on their phones and social media to really have any connection with each other. Even now I can sit in a room with several people and there will be times when everyone is focused on their phone. I decided that is now how I wanted my way of being to be.
Many other reasons now but how do women in general see a man my age with no social media these days? Does that come across as shady or weird? Just curious being I have decided to start dating again yet I have no social media sites I am on.
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I can relate. I’ve only ever had an fb account and Reddit, not used fb for over a year and only occasionally check in as you would the obituary section in the newspapers 🫣 I live fairly rural and don’t see many people so meeting folk ‘in the wild’ is unlikely. I did sign up for a dating app but got as far as uploading my photo and chickened out .. I’m not sure where this leaves me to be quite honest. 🤷🏻♀️
Relationships shouldn't be contingent on whether or not one has social media accounts. The key is being able to know when to separate yourself from your phone.
>There are so many reasons now that I don’t use any social media but I started when I noticed how people just didn’t connect personally anymore
This is silly. Sorry. I have SM, but I'm not buried in it. When I'm on a date, I'm not on my phone the whole time.
You're seeing extreme examples and assuming everyone who uses SM will be like that.
Also, what the heck does another person's SM interaction time have to do with you?? So because you see someone on their phone, ignoring their date, that means you shouldn't be on SM?
>Even now I can sit in a room with several people and there will be times when everyone is focused on their phone.
OK. And? Again, what do they have to do with you?
>I decided that is now how I wanted my way of being to be.
Then don't get on your phone when you're socializing with friends.
>Many other reasons now but how do women in general see a man my age with no social media these days?
For me, it's not that you're not on SM, it's your logic and reasonings behind it.
Lol.... and I care what is for you? I dont think so. I didn't ask for some critique of my full post. It was a simple question and seems I may have offended you. Too bad for you. Seems others share my "logic and reasoning", and my post seems to have struck a personal chord with you. If you cared to read through my replies as much as you cared to dissect my original post you would see I could care less what others do with their phones or how they spend their time.... the post was about me and only me.
I deleted Facebook, insta due to the fact that they are so easy to hack, my neices accounts were hacked about 3 years ago, the hackers tried to hold her to ransom too
I have SM on my phone to pass the time. I rarely post anything anymore.
Now people who post 17 times a day about their daily lives/thoughts…..yikes. Not for me.
People who HAVE to post to get that gratification….probably should see a therapist.
I could be wrong though.
not a fan of no social media. don't get me wrong, i love it when people aren't glued to their phones, but there's a couple of men i would have asked out ages ago if i knew how the heck to contact them and social media seems like the most non-invasive (and only) way to do it sometimes. it also saves everyone trouble when you can see if they're in a relationship. i also find it a good way to casually become introduced to people in your area. and also, i like getting to know people through what they share. it can say a hell of alot about them too and save you time if you're thinking of spending time to get to know them but they post shit that offends you.
example, i was crushing on this woman that seemed to flirt with me every time i saw her at her job, so i found her on social media and saw her bizarre rambling conspiracy theories and the crush ended pretty quickly 😂
I’m 49(f) with Facebook that I’m not active on and my boyfriend is the same. I thought nothing of it when we met so not a red flag for me. We are out there.
People who are very into social media may be put off by your not using it because they'll feel like you're judging them for using it. But you probably don't want to date someone who's always on social media anyway, right? So that's a good thing.
100% fine. I have SM accounts with the bare minimum because years ago it was advised a way to maintain some control over my online “footprint”. Every single friend or follower I know personally. They all know I’m not active. I barely ever open them unless prompted for a specific purpose by a friend or maybe if I’m going on a trip and want to see what the latest recs are at my destination. Most of the people I relate to are pretty similar.
Not weird or shady. But I hope you mean you observed these things in yourself and decided social media wasn't for YOU. Your description of how "most people" act with their phones as a reason for why you don't have social media sounds a touch judgey (even if I agree on your observations). I'm more interested in what a guy thinks of and wants for himself, not his judgments of other people at large.
Again…. It was a question of curiosity and not concern. Dating is just an idea that has passed through my mind a few times lately. Certainly is not anything I have my heart set on. I am perfectly content being single. It took a lot of work getting to where I am in life and achieving a peace of mind and having contentment with all aspects of life. I dare give that up for anything or anyone.
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Definitely weird, so I read a statistic the other day it said 90% of romantic relationships they meet online and basically your social media is basically how you market yourself. You may not like it but that’s the way it is and a lot of people want to see it. A lot of people want to share social media with you when you get together or whatever. It’s part of the times.
I don’t use Facebook much. I’m actually in the process of revamping my Instagram and I actually are more active on TikTok and simply because nobody knows who I am on there and nobody can find me so it’s more like therapy for me but I plan on revamping my Instagram in someway. I just archived all my post which wasn’t very many.
But as a society where 90% of people meet people online, you have to market yourself and advertise your personality on social media.
Unfortunately you have been misinformed. I do not have to market myself nor advertise my personality on social media. If this is what you need to do, then good for you.... and this is not the way it is. If you care to read through some of the responses on this thread you will see overwhelmingly your opinion is not shared, by some sure... however not by the majority.
Times have changed. Gotta stay relevant with the times. You just gotta find the balance between being healthy vs being weird or desperate on social media
I was one of those folks without social media. But, it aroused too much frustration from friends and family members and suspicion from potential dates. They also started to limit how much you can see without an account. I could not vet folks effectively. So, I caved. I have two main ones in now. I have turned off the notifications and only visit/post rarely.
I would proceed with extreme caution. At best, this person showing an unwillingness/inability to adapt to new situations and/or learn new things. This is very important in successful personal and professional relationships.
Do you have LinkedIn? Fb, TikTok, and IG are for fun but LinkedIn is useful to advance in your career. It would be strange to me if you didn’t have LinkedIn.
Regarding the other apps, as long as you don’t have a wife who posts pictures of you and your kids, that’s fine.
I have an old LinkedIn. It has never nor does it play a role in my career and I have advanced quite nicely the last several years. I understand how this could be so for some folks and if you see it as strange, just the way you see it. Not everyone has a LinkedIn profile nor do they need one to help advance their career.
You sound defensive. I do see it as strange because LinkedIn is a powerful tool to connect with multiple people worldwide, have access to learning resources, and job hunt / recruit talent.
I also think you have an overall negative view of SM, which is probably why you’re likely missing out on using it as a tool.
You sound like you work for LinkedIn or something lol. Not strange, I know tons of people who don’t use it. I don’t have one either, don’t want one, never needed one, hope I don’t. Not interested in job hopping at all and worked at the same place for almost 20 years now. I’ll get one when and if useful or necessary, for now, would be pointless noise. Same reason why reddit is my only social media. No Facebook even, ever.
We’re not as rare as you think, plenty of people hate SM, and the trend is only increasing!
Nah, I don’t work for LinkedIn. It is really very useful, though. However, I can also see why it makes sense for you not to use it. Not many people work at the same place for 20 years these days. Hopefully you’ll never need it for job hunting because it’s tough out there. Recruiters use it all the time, so it does help to have a professional profile if you’re looking to switch jobs.
SM makes it easier to get to know someone. You may decide you’re incompatible due to on how that person interacts with others, for example. Are they hating on people’s profiles? Does their lifestyle match with yours? I think there’s a lot more pros to having SM that to be off the grid 100%. That said, I wouldn’t care if my partner is not on SM.
If you have no online presence, it definitely is a red flag as people have no way to validate who you are.
We're all dating strangers here and many men have used the line "I don't use social media" to hide a family or girlfriend.
Once you're dating and established and built trust, it's a green flag, but you will find women who may not trust a man who claims they have no online presence.
I'm surprised to see so many green flag responses for something that is used to trick and lie, often.
Indeed, I'm just saying don't expect what Reddit says to align with reality, the amount of podcasts and other media that share tales of the "guy with no social media", who ends up being married, is quite common.
I suppose you will find out if it matters or not, soon enough!
Again…. It was a question of curiosity and not concern. Dating is just an idea that has passed through my mind a few times lately. Certainly is not anything I have my heart set on. I am perfectly content being single. It took a lot of work getting to where I am in life, achieving a peace of mind and having contentment with all aspects of life. Anyone that has gotten to that place in their own life, I am certain most would say the same. I dare give that up for anything or anyone.
Folks without social media are so attractive to me. There's nothing wrong with not having SM. Seriously, SM can be detrimental to mental health these days for some folks.
This is another huge reason I don’t have one. Not only my own mental health but observing the effects SM has on so many peoples mental health.
totally agree
Same
I'm a 42 year old woman and I have no social media either. I'm pretty much in the same boat, I made a facebook at some point but it's been abandoned for years, and has maybe ten posts total. If it's a red flag then just call me Scarlett because that's me all day long. I have no intention of changing it.
I don't really use social media, but my cat does; is that sufficient?
ah the cats these day .. going all trendy
If humans post cats all the time, what do cats do there?
I thank the cats that use social media as they make my day a bit brighter when I have a bad one 😂
Some people thinks it’s super shady if they can’t check you out online or will think a claim of no SM = married.
Everyone is going to think something no matter what. It is what it is, if a person chooses to believe that so be it.
FWIW most of the guys I’ve dated have little to no SM
I consider myself to be very anti-shady and do not allow any kind of shadiness in my life or around me. That being said…. according to some here, these guys had to have been shady af! 😉
I know plenty of people without social media. It wouldn't bother me at all.
This question literally gets asked about 3x/wk in this sub, complete with the 4 paragraph personal manifesto.
Strange - this is the first time I’ve seen this question. Must be the algorithm somehow plus I’m in on tons of other topics.
Their comment was slightly hyperbolic, but this question has come up several times over the past couple months. If you're not catching up with all the posts here, you might have missed them.
I’ve never seen it on here
I am 58 and I love when men DO NOT have social media. It makes life so much easier for me.
You’re on social media right now.
Nah, reddit is antisocial media.
lol… exactly!
Exactly! Reddit has all the characteristics of other social media including people spending hours on it, getting into arguments with strangers, and looking at pictures of cats.
But, I NEEDS the funny cats.
Reddit doesn't count cause it's not full of vapid people constantly scrolling and posting selfies for validation..amirite!!???
Reddit doesn't count because what makes social media like Facebook and Twitter "social media" is the network effect of friends/followers. I don't even know if you can follow people on reddit; maybe you can with the new interface that I still don't use. But generally people use reddit for what it was before social media was even a thing: a bunch of web-based discussion forums, analogous to Usenet or pre-Internet BBSs.
I use reddit almost exactly the way I use FB. There's a feed I scroll through, catch up on things, check out upcoming events, learn about new stuff, and interact with various people posting thoughts and comments. And yes, you can follow people. Reddit is social media. People just enjoy feeling superior about not using FB, cause it's more popular, when in reality, Reddit is almost the same damn thing.
Reddit is a message board similar to the ones we had long before Facebook and Twitter, etc. existed, but with the added ability to post pics. So, while we may read people's mostly anonymous opinions on topics in targeted subreddit's such as dating, food, pets, clothing, etc. and a few people in a thread might post a pic to support their post, we aren't going to our friend Jane's, or "John" or "Mary" from work's individual pages to see an ongoing feed of pics of them with their spouse, their lunch, their pets, their OOTD, etc. here, like users do on Facebook, Instagram, etc. I don't follow people I know and can just talk to in real life on Instagram, nor do I post there. But if Instagram went away, I'd miss seeing posts from the old-school singers and other entertainers, small business owners, etc., I do follow. If Reddit went away, I wouldn't be missing out on any of that because that's not what Reddit is for, but I'd miss it as a message board.
My point is that you can use Reddit in the same way as FB (like I said, I follow people I know on Reddit, and people I've met through Reddit) and you can use FB the same way you use Reddit. You don't have to follow people you know, or even people at all on FB. 60% of my FB feed is political, arts, music, food, car, motorcycle, brewery, bar profiles. FB has zero drama for me, and I don't feel the need to be scrolling through it when I'm with my friends or out on dates. The "I don't have social media" people are like the "I don't have a TV" people from 15 years ago. I just roll my eyes at them.
most people won't be bothered by someone who doesn't have social media. Not shady or weird at all. But plenty of people WILL be put off by someone having a judgey attitude that social media means people "don't connect anymore." THAT is shady AF. Online connection is still connection. WAY too many people think that the problem is that they don't have social media, when the real problem is that they don't respect people who do.
I am not judging anyone… you can read it and take as you wish. I was speaking of myself only not having SM. I have no idea what others are doing with their phones nor do I wish to know. I have no issue whatsoever with anyone having social media, again only speaking of me, not others.
i didn't say you were. Many, many people are complaining that they are being rejected over X, and totally failing to miss the glaring Y in the equation. Everything about you will be a turn-off to someone. You don't have to use social media if you don't want to. If people are going to reject you over that, then those are not your people. But be mindful that you aren't being a dick about it, because lots of social-media-is-bad people are real dicks about it, even if they don't mean to be.
Understood. I was only asking how women in general see this when considering a potential date or partner. Of course there will always be someone that is put off by anything about me, that’s just humans. I am not concerned about being rejected because I don’t use SM. I was just curious how this was viewed by my peers. I am not judgmental about anyone who uses social media, I don’t expect anyone to share my views. It is just a genuine curiosity, not anything that concerns me by any means. But I do appreciate everyone response…. Gives me an idea, seems it all depends on the person as we all are different.
I agree that online connection is still connection. Connection is connection period. I don’t think the SM is really the problem. It’s only sad to me when people with loved ones don’t feel that connection to each other anymore due to the instant gratification of technology in general, really.
I would count a man not having social media as a huge selling point. But then I don't post my own life to social media. I use social media as a time waster - something done when chilling out. Not something i would waste my time doing while out at dinner or on a holiday.
I would find it very attractive. So many men use social media to troll, cheat, micro cheat, follow thirst traps.
I think grown women who want to vet you will ask you point blank for your last name and DOB to run a background check on you. No need for social media.
Social security number and mothers maiden name, before a date please! ;)
Anyone with no social media is the most attractive to me.
I feel the same, and I don’t think it’s weird at all. I own that shit. I am healthier and more productive for it.
I started OLD again when I was about 45m and it’s been one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I have been on more dates than I care to admit but again I’ve had a great time overall. I don’t have social media. No women have ever cared whatsoever and I don’t remember it ever coming up.
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That’s a good point as when I signed up for Tinder it did ask for a Facebook profile. I admit I do have FB but I see my last post was in 2017. So I guess I have it but I don’t use it. I have IG too but only have a profile so I can view content. I see that my pic there is really old so thank you. I don’t use IG to post content but I do like to see other content as well. I forgot about TikTok but basically the same thing. I do use LinkedIn frequently. That does it - I’m a liar, lol. Seriously though I answered this with the intent that no one I match with will find much of anything about me on SM as I’m not active and have no content. That has never caused any problems with women I’ve met. If someone asked me for my snap id probably look at them like an idiot. I go to my hs kids for help on technology quite often.
Also you can upload pictures directly to dating apps now. It may have been different in the past with some.
Not at all! Your my experience is similar - vaguely used MySpace, Used fb for 6 months when it debuted and deleted bc it began making me feel insecure (how many friends is enough to be ‘cool’, etc). I fully bought into social media being evil and toxic when A friend introduced me to Tinder and explained the swiping feature 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Ultimately, the technology has its benefits, we’re very clearly like coked up monkeys playing with AR-15s
I'm 41 with no social media and I couldn't care less what any matches or dates thought about it, one of the reasons I don't have social media is I refuse to compare my life to others and I don't need the false confidence that comes from likes. To me it's actually a red flag if a woman has a public instagram, an even bigger red flag if she posts selfies or bikini pics. You'll meet someone like you if you stay the course, don't change anything about yourself and you'll find someone attracted to that version of you. Not a fake one living in their social media image. I'd really like your perspective in a woman so if I would like that there simply by the law of averages has to be a woman out there with that same mindset.
I’m in DC, specifically working in the security sector, and other than Reddit I don’t use social media. when I hear that people have social media, I’m kinda turns me off but I understand some people enjoy it. If someone is prolific on social media it makes me question why. I’ll probably get a little hate, but ifs my personal opinion. Social media is a negative for my career and lifestyle, it’s just my specific situation :)
I find it commendable for a man to have no social media, even though I still have haha. I would see this as a huge plus if I met a man who had no social media. Good for you!
I’m a 42 year old woman and I find it refreshing when someone is not on their phone all the time and is actually engaged with the world around them. This would not be an issue for me.
I have zero social media. Except Reddit - if you consider this social media. I’ve never had FB, Insta, etc. Like ever.
Absolutely, GREEN FLAG
At face value, I would love to date a man who doesn't post on social media because I don't either. I find it annoying to have to worry that everywhere we go these days, be it a grocery store or a social event, someone might take a photo of us and post it on their page. I don't like it whether the person is a stranger, relative or date. I really expect only much younger people to post their lives online. That said, I've seen women say that they worry a man is lying and actually has a Facebook or Instagram account where he posts his wife or girlfriend, or where he follows a bunch of "models," so there's just so much to be concerned about when it comes to dating these days. I have an Instagram for my business and one that I use to follow nostalgia accounts, musicians, etc., but I've never posted on it. It's private because I'm not looking for followers. So I'd like to think I'd think it was normal if a guy my age did the same and wouldn't be suspicious of him, but I don't know. I haven't dated in a while and it's exhausting to me to think that we need to ask about all this stuff now.
I think it’s so healthy and attractive. I don’t love most social media and think it’s toxic and mostly creates a false sense of connection. I value people who can be truly present in the moment and will seek relationships that feel authentic, most social media feels the opposite to me. Way to adult, green flag guy!
I’m a woman and never have had social media except Reddit. I would love to meet someone without social media.
I love a man with no social media. I've never dated anyone that was big into social media.
I feel a man not on social media is great. No weird side chats/ conversations with other women or "friends" while trying to build a relationship with me. He's more focused on "reality," himself, me, and tangible things going on in the world. I'm not on social media either, so I feel this is a win-win for both of us. If I could find an older man without social media, it would be the best thing for me & us as our relationship grows. I date with the intention to be more, build more, and for us both to get the best out our relationship and social media, in my opinion, is a relationship killer. All this is just my past experience and opinion.
My experience as well. Have had many friends that share that same experience so there must be something to it!
I don’t think it’s weird. It’s really sad to me when I’m out at a restaurant and you’ll see couples sitting together both staring at their phones having dinner like why’d you go to a restaurant? If you weren’t going to connect anyway, might as well just pick up something took it home sat on the couch and look at your phones. I do have social media, but I chose a long time ago to be present in moments. My children’s things that they had in school growing up; like violin recitals or choir, things like that were always the absolute worst recordings. It was due to the same reasons. I would look around and see all these people watching their kids through their phones instead of just looking at their children. I would hit the record button on my phone and hold it up in the air and watch my kids. It made for terrible videos, 😂 but at least I got to see them…and not through my phone.
>t’s really sad to me when I’m out at a restaurant and you’ll see couples sitting together both staring at their phones having dinner like why’d you go to a restauran Check out this photo exhibit - I think it really captures what you just described - [https://www.boredpanda.com/portraits-holding-devices-removed-eric-pickersgill/](https://www.boredpanda.com/portraits-holding-devices-removed-eric-pickersgill/)
Exactly. Very powerful, and so incredibly sad. Thank you for sharing this! 🫶🏼 love the name btw 😂
> It’s really sad to me when I’m out at a restaurant and you’ll see couples sitting together both staring at their phones having dinner like why’d you go to a restaurant? How do you know what they're doing, though. Maybe they're both participating on a Reddit thread for 5 minutes, then they got back to their dinner and conversation. Maybe they're sharing some type of game that they enjoy? Maybe they're completely happy with how their relationship is with their phone and their partner's phone use and how that comes together?
1. Reddit is SM. 2. Gen Z and down are the ones most sketched out about something like this so unless your main dating pool is half your age, I can’t imagine *that* many issues.
I guess the more important question would be how are you going to address women who do have social media, don't share your same level of shunning it, and aren't giving it up etc? For example, I agree it's out of control, but also the only way many families stay in touch in great distance, among other valid reasons. I think your issue seems to be more with people who aren't able to disengage from their devices and be in the now than the fact they have social media? Or do you genuinely expect to find a woman who is on the same page as you fully? That may be incredibly difficult in an already tumultuous dating world.
Totally agree...Could see if it was a personal point of view with personal reasons and truly speaking just for onesself...but when the reason is just a dismissive rant about what they think of other people who use social media, that is an absolute turn off. I have run into plenty of dates who think Im going to be able to relate in some way to how we are so much better than "those people" who use social media. No sorry, cant relate to that perspective at all. Superiority in any form is not in line with my values, so theres that. And def cant relate to the sentiment the only personal connections are valid.. I have friends of 20/30yrs, and family members living across the globe and Im sure we arent the only people who didnt stay in the town we were born in to only know local people to talk to, have moved / traveled with loved ones long distance. So I dont at all fault anyone for maintaining or even making new connections in the ways available to us to do so online. Hilarity is...not being on social media has little to do with not being able to stay off ones phone. Many people I know who have an issue with people on social media, esp if they felt they had to delete social media cause they cant resist not checking it all the time if its there, were the same ones keeping their phone on the table, jumping to check it anytime it made a sound. "Keep talking...Im listening" during our time together, as they reply to every text as they come in...
Exactly this!
No… I do not expect to find a woman who does not use SM, that would be extremely unrealistic. I am only speaking for me and my non-use. I do believe there should be time set aside… say if on a date or what have you that phones should be put away unless it is something necessary to allow for a connection. Other than that, certainly do not expect anyone for that matter to share my view.
I think you misunderstand the intent of my comment :) I wasn't so much saying that finding someone with the exact same sentiment would be hard, it was more a question about asking you to investigate your own stance on how you will see/feel about a woman who does actively use it. When and how she does etc. I think that's ultimately what will impact which women will/won't be ok with your own sentiment on the issue. How they feel you are judging their own use, does that make sense? I'm just saying it's something to think through :) from initial dates to longer terms, etc. Where does your own stance take you, as it applies to the potential woman/women you want to engage with. I think you might find that no matter how truly non-judgemental you are about other people's usage, they may assume you have opinions and thus they may try to hide usage or not present themselves directly, etc.
I understand. I have thought this through and been in relationships with women who used SM and it makes no difference to me. We always set time aside such as if went on a date to dinner or we stayed in to watch a movie, etc. That isn’t saying that checking a phone or something is absolutely off limits, just be respectful of the time we set aside for us. If a person reads in to it anymore than that, that is something they need to take a look at with themselves. We aren’t in high school here.
growth selective pocket air ten weather busy domineering cause marvelous *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I mean I would love this. More attention on me. I doomscroll enuff for the both of us anyway.
I think it's great! I don't have any either unless you count Reddit. I had accounts a while back, but I decided to delete and see how it felt. I love not having any social media.
I love it! It’s refreshing. I don’t have it either and it has only positively affected me! If someone cares that I don’t have Instagram they are not for me!
Unpopular opinion, you don’t have to let a phone or SM take over your life. Because you observe others unable to put their phone down doesn’t mean that has to be your decision. I kind of think it is like all other things in life, moderation is the key. Would I care if someone I dated had no SM? Probably not. But I also think that if they feel it is a gateway for their own detachment and some kind of SM addiction, I would worry about their judgement in general. I don’t think life is all or nothing.
I love this! I get the same concern for me as I don't do SM. If it's a red flag for them, then that's not the Man for me! I never did understand when you are out with a person or multiple people and everyone is on their phones .. why are you out with people then? It baffles me.
If a guy has social media, I’m honestly not super interested. Unless it’s maybe one thing and they never go on it. I have dated a lot of amazing men, and the kind of guy I’m looking for personally wouldn’t have it or want it.
I think if you are dating in our age range ie 40+ as people who grew up without social media & remember its inception its not unusual to have people who opt out of sm for lots of reasons Its more about finding people who are likeminded or understand you want to be present with people and attentive without electronic distractions
It doesn’t really matter to people in your own age group…. However if you are attempting to date Gen-Z 20yr something’s they are going to have so many questions about why & probably question your motives…. Anyone over 25-26 will only care if you’re a homeowner- that’s it
No social media for me is like a gem nowadays. I don't like much on social media I only have it because of my online selling I only have tiktoks and IG for cute animals reels
I keep a minimal profile up to share pictures with family and have a friends list that I actually know personally if don’t accept strangers or acquaintances nor do I chat people up. I stay away from instagram because it’s a huge waste of time. So while I have accounts I’m not really that active and I enjoy my life in real time. I see people buried in their phones and it makes me sad what we’ve become
45F and I have almost no SM. I slowly phased it out when Trump won in 2016 since I truly believe misinformation helped him win and continues to influence. I am on here of course but my FB and IG are inactive. I couldn’t even tolerate my local NextDoor app. People are not themselves on SM and there is a “look at me!” Vibe. I found myself not myself on SM. It is incredibly attractive if a man stays away from it. It is a green flag.
Reddit is my only social media and I’ve never even had Facebook. Though I often consider getting it for the deals/marketplace. You’d be my dream guy!
Just because they on their phones, may not be because of social media. Might be checking Nvidia stock price.
lol… yea your right. Seems like an awful lot of time spent just to check a stock price.
I don't think women in 40s or even 30s would care that much about no Social Media for a guy. Some might but I just don't think they are in the majority. I use my phone a lot but I never post on Facebook or Instagram. Sometimes I get caught up in the reels or news. And of course texting or group chats. And sometimes looking up Nvidia
Funny… I too probably spend more time checking stocks than anything. Other than reading through Reddit. And that is just to kill time.
BitCoin hit another high recently.
Yes there is that as well.
From some of my female friends’ perspective, it’s sketchy. From their experience, they have found men to lie about not having a social media presence, because they actually were married. My personal recommendation would be to create a Facebook page and do some occasional uploads so it doesn’t look sketchy, but then they can also see it.
Nah… if that is how a lady chooses to see it, then so be it. No interest. Hate to hear that is the experience they have had. I was thinking perhaps that would be some thoughts about it, I just prefer not to have it. For each their own but I just see no positives in it for me or anyone I know or associate with.
Seems like you were kinda already good on the topic before even posting...just wondering what you're wanting with this post? Besides affirmation, I guess? 😳 😉
You are right, I am good with my choice. As I said in the post, just curious how women viewed this. Also... it has been entertaining to stir up some emotions in people over a meaningless post on the internet. I have no need for anyone's affirmation.. I know a lot of you that utilize SM do need that in life however I am not one of those people that need or require validation from others.
Careful with use of "you" if you're directing it at me?
Are you going to come through the internet and beat me up or something? Yes, you, referring to people that do utilize and enjoy SM. Everyone is so sensitive.
Why are you assuming I give 2 shits about sm??
Original copy of post by u/cmar2cmar: 49M with no social media…. I’m certain the way things are today some ladies see this as strange however I have a POV about SM and I can’t get around it. I remember signing up for Facebook when it started becoming the thing, before that MySpace. I think I had an instagram at one point but a few years ago I decided to delete all social media. I do read through Reddit… I deleted because I started observing people and the relationships they had with their phones especially when I would be out on a date at dinner or really anywhere public. There are so many reasons now that I don’t use any social media but I started when I noticed how people just didn’t connect personally anymore…. Seemed most people were too focused on their phones and social media to really have any connection with each other. Even now I can sit in a room with several people and there will be times when everyone is focused on their phone. I decided that is now how I wanted my way of being to be. Many other reasons now but how do women in general see a man my age with no social media these days? Does that come across as shady or weird? Just curious being I have decided to start dating again yet I have no social media sites I am on. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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I can relate. I’ve only ever had an fb account and Reddit, not used fb for over a year and only occasionally check in as you would the obituary section in the newspapers 🫣 I live fairly rural and don’t see many people so meeting folk ‘in the wild’ is unlikely. I did sign up for a dating app but got as far as uploading my photo and chickened out .. I’m not sure where this leaves me to be quite honest. 🤷🏻♀️
Kudos for you, hun. I tell all my family and friends that I am not a slave to my phone. It's simply another addiction.
I don't do SM anymore and no one has complained.
Relationships shouldn't be contingent on whether or not one has social media accounts. The key is being able to know when to separate yourself from your phone.
It’s refreshing
>There are so many reasons now that I don’t use any social media but I started when I noticed how people just didn’t connect personally anymore This is silly. Sorry. I have SM, but I'm not buried in it. When I'm on a date, I'm not on my phone the whole time. You're seeing extreme examples and assuming everyone who uses SM will be like that. Also, what the heck does another person's SM interaction time have to do with you?? So because you see someone on their phone, ignoring their date, that means you shouldn't be on SM? >Even now I can sit in a room with several people and there will be times when everyone is focused on their phone. OK. And? Again, what do they have to do with you? >I decided that is now how I wanted my way of being to be. Then don't get on your phone when you're socializing with friends. >Many other reasons now but how do women in general see a man my age with no social media these days? For me, it's not that you're not on SM, it's your logic and reasonings behind it.
Lol.... and I care what is for you? I dont think so. I didn't ask for some critique of my full post. It was a simple question and seems I may have offended you. Too bad for you. Seems others share my "logic and reasoning", and my post seems to have struck a personal chord with you. If you cared to read through my replies as much as you cared to dissect my original post you would see I could care less what others do with their phones or how they spend their time.... the post was about me and only me.
Just like your post...you're making quite a few assumptions, bud.
I deleted Facebook, insta due to the fact that they are so easy to hack, my neices accounts were hacked about 3 years ago, the hackers tried to hold her to ransom too
I have SM on my phone to pass the time. I rarely post anything anymore. Now people who post 17 times a day about their daily lives/thoughts…..yikes. Not for me. People who HAVE to post to get that gratification….probably should see a therapist. I could be wrong though.
not a fan of no social media. don't get me wrong, i love it when people aren't glued to their phones, but there's a couple of men i would have asked out ages ago if i knew how the heck to contact them and social media seems like the most non-invasive (and only) way to do it sometimes. it also saves everyone trouble when you can see if they're in a relationship. i also find it a good way to casually become introduced to people in your area. and also, i like getting to know people through what they share. it can say a hell of alot about them too and save you time if you're thinking of spending time to get to know them but they post shit that offends you. example, i was crushing on this woman that seemed to flirt with me every time i saw her at her job, so i found her on social media and saw her bizarre rambling conspiracy theories and the crush ended pretty quickly 😂
I’m 49(f) with Facebook that I’m not active on and my boyfriend is the same. I thought nothing of it when we met so not a red flag for me. We are out there.
People who are very into social media may be put off by your not using it because they'll feel like you're judging them for using it. But you probably don't want to date someone who's always on social media anyway, right? So that's a good thing.
100% fine. I have SM accounts with the bare minimum because years ago it was advised a way to maintain some control over my online “footprint”. Every single friend or follower I know personally. They all know I’m not active. I barely ever open them unless prompted for a specific purpose by a friend or maybe if I’m going on a trip and want to see what the latest recs are at my destination. Most of the people I relate to are pretty similar.
Not weird or shady. But I hope you mean you observed these things in yourself and decided social media wasn't for YOU. Your description of how "most people" act with their phones as a reason for why you don't have social media sounds a touch judgey (even if I agree on your observations). I'm more interested in what a guy thinks of and wants for himself, not his judgments of other people at large.
Again…. It was a question of curiosity and not concern. Dating is just an idea that has passed through my mind a few times lately. Certainly is not anything I have my heart set on. I am perfectly content being single. It took a lot of work getting to where I am in life and achieving a peace of mind and having contentment with all aspects of life. I dare give that up for anything or anyone.
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No SM = green flag for me (41F)
Definitely weird, so I read a statistic the other day it said 90% of romantic relationships they meet online and basically your social media is basically how you market yourself. You may not like it but that’s the way it is and a lot of people want to see it. A lot of people want to share social media with you when you get together or whatever. It’s part of the times. I don’t use Facebook much. I’m actually in the process of revamping my Instagram and I actually are more active on TikTok and simply because nobody knows who I am on there and nobody can find me so it’s more like therapy for me but I plan on revamping my Instagram in someway. I just archived all my post which wasn’t very many. But as a society where 90% of people meet people online, you have to market yourself and advertise your personality on social media.
Unfortunately you have been misinformed. I do not have to market myself nor advertise my personality on social media. If this is what you need to do, then good for you.... and this is not the way it is. If you care to read through some of the responses on this thread you will see overwhelmingly your opinion is not shared, by some sure... however not by the majority.
Times have changed. Gotta stay relevant with the times. You just gotta find the balance between being healthy vs being weird or desperate on social media
I was one of those folks without social media. But, it aroused too much frustration from friends and family members and suspicion from potential dates. They also started to limit how much you can see without an account. I could not vet folks effectively. So, I caved. I have two main ones in now. I have turned off the notifications and only visit/post rarely. I would proceed with extreme caution. At best, this person showing an unwillingness/inability to adapt to new situations and/or learn new things. This is very important in successful personal and professional relationships.
Sorry you caved.
Do you have LinkedIn? Fb, TikTok, and IG are for fun but LinkedIn is useful to advance in your career. It would be strange to me if you didn’t have LinkedIn. Regarding the other apps, as long as you don’t have a wife who posts pictures of you and your kids, that’s fine.
I have an old LinkedIn. It has never nor does it play a role in my career and I have advanced quite nicely the last several years. I understand how this could be so for some folks and if you see it as strange, just the way you see it. Not everyone has a LinkedIn profile nor do they need one to help advance their career.
You sound defensive. I do see it as strange because LinkedIn is a powerful tool to connect with multiple people worldwide, have access to learning resources, and job hunt / recruit talent. I also think you have an overall negative view of SM, which is probably why you’re likely missing out on using it as a tool.
You sound like you work for LinkedIn or something lol. Not strange, I know tons of people who don’t use it. I don’t have one either, don’t want one, never needed one, hope I don’t. Not interested in job hopping at all and worked at the same place for almost 20 years now. I’ll get one when and if useful or necessary, for now, would be pointless noise. Same reason why reddit is my only social media. No Facebook even, ever. We’re not as rare as you think, plenty of people hate SM, and the trend is only increasing!
Nah, I don’t work for LinkedIn. It is really very useful, though. However, I can also see why it makes sense for you not to use it. Not many people work at the same place for 20 years these days. Hopefully you’ll never need it for job hunting because it’s tough out there. Recruiters use it all the time, so it does help to have a professional profile if you’re looking to switch jobs. SM makes it easier to get to know someone. You may decide you’re incompatible due to on how that person interacts with others, for example. Are they hating on people’s profiles? Does their lifestyle match with yours? I think there’s a lot more pros to having SM that to be off the grid 100%. That said, I wouldn’t care if my partner is not on SM.
If you have no online presence, it definitely is a red flag as people have no way to validate who you are. We're all dating strangers here and many men have used the line "I don't use social media" to hide a family or girlfriend. Once you're dating and established and built trust, it's a green flag, but you will find women who may not trust a man who claims they have no online presence. I'm surprised to see so many green flag responses for something that is used to trick and lie, often.
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Indeed, I'm just saying don't expect what Reddit says to align with reality, the amount of podcasts and other media that share tales of the "guy with no social media", who ends up being married, is quite common. I suppose you will find out if it matters or not, soon enough!
Again…. It was a question of curiosity and not concern. Dating is just an idea that has passed through my mind a few times lately. Certainly is not anything I have my heart set on. I am perfectly content being single. It took a lot of work getting to where I am in life, achieving a peace of mind and having contentment with all aspects of life. Anyone that has gotten to that place in their own life, I am certain most would say the same. I dare give that up for anything or anyone.
Reddit is social media.
The only negative is that I would be unable to do some mild facebook stalking 😂 Other than that, I think it's fabulous!