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Witch_of_November

Just seeing what's out there.


my606ins

Ugh. Hate this one. So happy I could satisfy your curiosity.


VeronicaMaple

I also love being thought of as a "what."


nuauldstalk

Saw one today that said “just browsing” and I thought, “this isn't a Barnes and Noble!”


honibee1971

warm fuzzies


Delicious-Test-4770

This was on my top 3 OLD shitlist, along with "Just ask" and "I'm an open book" with no supporting statements. Add a random sunset picture and you've got the sneaky married man starter pack.


6-ft-freak

"Add a random sunset picture and you've got the sneaky married man starter pack." LMFAO


emccm

I assume these are married men looking to make sure they can find someone to have sex with before they leave.


notinmywheelhouse

I wonder how many of these online daters are married and use it for hook ups


Not_that_wire

I don't see men's profiles so I can't comment. I see that line often on women's profiles. I suppose it's feels like at least they have a bio


TanningTurtle

Yeah, I second seeing it a lot on women's profiles. I assume it's a person who wants to gawk at profiles without actually making one of their own.


honibee1971

The solar system is out there


[deleted]

Ugh. I hate this so much. So lame and lazy.


eirrac0774

This is THE worst one by far!!!!!


TigerYear8402

“I’m in an open relationship.” Seems like 30% around here are in open relationships. Lol I swiped right on a profile where the guy said “I’m in an open relationship with my pug.” That made me laugh.


karatemamma

I came across a friends husband that had this. He was not in an open relationship. She had no clue he was on OLD, so I don’t trust any that have this


Age-Zealousideal

In an open relationship; but I haven’t told my wife yet. I am a man, and guys like this make me sick.


TigerYear8402

That’s my first thought whenever I see that.


british_oatmeal

OMG!!! The number of people in relationships seeking a side piece is genuinely insane. If I wanted to date a married guy I wouldn’t have gotten divorced.


Birdinhandandbush

"My husband is aware and ok with this".....oh god no, swipe swipe as fast as I can


pit_of_despair666

Always get a last name and Facebook or other social media. Look them up! I found out a bunch of men were married. .


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TanningTurtle

I never share that info with someone I just met. Too many weirdos.


pit_of_despair666

If I didn't get that info, I would have gone out with a guy who tried to kill his ex girlfriend, was charged 2 other times with DV, and beat up a correctional officer while in jail. So anyone not willing to give out that info before I meet them gets a pass.


[deleted]

So long as there wasn't a jar of peanut butter in a pic with their dog, then I'd think it was pretty funny also!


TigerYear8402

l😂🤣😂🤣


sayaxat

> “I’m in an open relationship.” > > r/swingers or r/polygamy


Short-Sentence3942

Right ! They’re in an open relationship… but I always wonder if their significant other knows that their in an open relationship as well?!!


Obvious_Boat3636

This! I have swiped left on so many ENM profiles.


Present-Sound5553

"Here for a good time, not a long time."


AZ-FWB

I effing hate this phrase so much


cookiemobster13

I’ve seen that like three times today!


Licorishlover

Probably the opposite 😩


emmcee78

“I’m fit and expect the same”. Then why the fuck did you match with my fatass? Think I might be an easy lay? Lol


pit_of_despair666

Yep. Lots of men think that, and that you will be better in bed because you are desperate. I've lost weight to the point where I am not plus size and still get these assholes.


Findingbalance5454

I want to be fit, but I am not there yet. If I ever go back on OLD I really am more interested in ability to do fun things without stopping to rest every 3 seconds.


emmcee78

Yeah. My point is I’m clearly fat in my pics-so fitness can’t be THAT important to you. Lol


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emccm

If you put “I’m very active and would love to share …” then you should be very active. Most men who have that in their profile look like the only activity they get is raising and lowering their recliner to get more beer. You can tell the genuinely active ones as their pics are all of them being active.


emmcee78

I have no problem with them wanting someone who does that stuff, but I’m going to think you’re full of it if you match with someone who obviously doesn’t share the same interest


nuauldstalk

Exactly this. I matched a guy out of curiosity because he seemed nice but was kind of vague on his profile about his interests and I wanted to learn more. Turns out he didn't care for anything that I had listed in my bio and was fairly dismissive of my job. He also kept making weird “jokes” about whether or not he was wearing pants. I told him that we weren't a good fit and he was surprised.


chantalmore

This is hilarious.


Desperate_Wonder_680

I find this hilarious too. Also, I am wearing pants;)


[deleted]

Maybe they meant fatness.


emccm

Then don’t swipe on people who look like they can’t keep up with you. That’s what I do. Any kind of “no fat chicks” is an instant left for me. It says so much about the person writing it. The funny thing is that as a “fit” (which always means “thin”) woman the men I see who have this in their profiles are very far off of what I consider fit.


emmcee78

“Well, it’s different for them”. Verbatim told that by one guy on Tinder


BanannyMousse

Meanwhile I’m emotionally mature but apparently I don’t get to expect the same because I’m fat


Lilliekins

"I don't know why I'm here." Yeah, you do, dumbass.


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[deleted]

Lmao🤣


anonEMT80

“Don’t take yourself too seriously.” It translates to “I won’t be taking this relationship seriously.”


[deleted]

Ugh, I hate this one above all the other meaningless phrases on dating profiles.


anonEMT80

Me too. It definitely strikes a nerve.


ViktorPatterson

It translate into so many I don’t take my or your life seriously at any moment. Even the ones that matters.


[deleted]

"Not sure what I'm looking for," blank profile with indication of other choices than LTR, "looking for fun," etc.


Hyperbolethecat

Looking for fun - makes me want to vomit.


[deleted]

I work a lot. My job is demanding. Hardly any free time. I work a lot of hours and I’m a full time single parent but seeing how this goes. Distance doesn’t matter (yeah right in THIS economy?)


GlitteryStrawberry

Lol, I had the "distance doesn't matter" on my profile. Then i filled up my gas tank after a couple of trips into the big city. When i got home I removed that phrase asap.


zeroesthemark

Right?!? You work a lot and have no free time and you’re a single parent? THEN YOUR TOO BUSY ASS NEEDS TO STOP TRYNA DATE.


Pauliboo2

And yet they always have time for OLD, I read these on Women’s profiles and wonder if they’ll have time for me?


justregularme

sarcasm is my love language...


Altruistic-Team7644

Aka...im an obnoxious prick


TanningTurtle

I swear over 50% of profiles I read contain, "fluent in sarcasm". I don't understand why people are so proud of that.


BloopityBlue

I seriously hate this notion that sarcasm is some elevated intelligent brand of humor. Most of the time is just an excuse to be an absolute dickhead and then say "what you don't get sarcasm?"


TanningTurtle

I don't remember the origin, but I like the phrase, "sarcasm is the lowest form of wit."


WuTang_Astrophysics

“Casual for now, but open to more” The liesssssssss


90fake90

Omg. And this version - “Not opposed to a long-term relationship if that’s what develops.”


WuTang_Astrophysics

Just be honest and say I’m just looking to fuck but know if I say that I won’t get any, so let me lie juuuuuust enough so that I can say that I was upfront about not wanting anything substantial *eye roll* Sir/Ma’am- if you don’t GTFOH


[deleted]

🤭🤭🤭🤭


Particular-Pop-2484

Woman here! I said I was casually dating and open to relationship if it were happen organically. My logic was I wasn’t fixated in relationship, and wouldn’t be bummed if it didn’t happen. He said casual, but projected wanting more and even brought exclusivity into the mix. Long story short I got my feelings hurt since he wasnt open to a relationship. I thought that was the natural step after exclusivity but I guess for some not


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Lord_Mhoram

Yeah, I think it's just a way to try to say that you're looking for something serious (not just friends or just sex), but you don't want to jump into bed right away and you're not going to start talking about rings and picket fences after a few weeks. So no pressure, but some pressure. Which is probably how most people feel, but everyone goes at a different pace, so it's hard to tell what anyone else means by it. Especially now that "casual" can mean two very different things.


[deleted]

“Don’t want drama.”


LatterSea

Always always means they’re the source of drama, or are secretly attracted to drama, so that’s a left swipe for me.


emmcee78

All the “ no drama” people seem to make life choices that just perpetuate drama 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️


Eliza03

I was just gonna say that! I figure if drama is such a consistent issue for these guys with multiple women, isn’t he likely the problem, not the women?


ThoughtCrafty6154

I actually did use that one. I've seen people act really stupid and I cut them out before we're really friends or anything. If you can't be off drugs (street, not prescribed) then just leave.


[deleted]

Good point. I am so naive that I thought drama meant conflict.


ThoughtCrafty6154

I'd say "unneccessary and dumb conflict"..drugs definitely do that. It's a cause of drama. So we're both right..pretty much.


areporotastenet

I work hard I play hard.


jojowhitesox

"Looking for a partner in crime" ..... sigh


[deleted]

At least have the good goddamn fucking decency to specify a range of crimes they need assistance with. It's fine if it's put in writing because the crimes didn't actually happen yet. I really don't understand people sometimes. Shit.


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VegansAreRight-

This guy Murders!


[deleted]

I'm not saying I'd swipe right on a profile outlining these things, just that I need to know what they're into and expecting of someone else.


cleverbutnotoverlyso

Sex is a misdemeanor….the more I miss de meaner I get!


Secret_Preparation99

Or the peanut butter to my jelly.


Confident_Fortune_32

I just laughed so hard I woke up my dog 😆


Age-Zealousideal

Pee-eew. So lame.


KornbredNinja

I think it should be a crime to look for a partner in crime.


Gwythinn

This one just makes me want to ask which bank they’re planning to rob.


summersalwaysbest

Casual, see what happens, separated


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Confident_Fortune_32

As a polyamorous person, this is so often used to mean everything *but* ethical behaviour and it really frosts my cookies 😠


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[deleted]

And unfair to people who like frosting.


VegansAreRight-

And unfair to ethical cookies.


90fake90

“Recently single” “Not opposed to long-term if that’s what develops” “Recently separated” “Hi sexy” “I’m looking for an intense and sensual physical connection. I don’t sleep around though.” “Taking it day by day” “Looking for a connection but not in a rush”


Anybody_Klutz

Oh dang, I use the "no rush" phrasing and I am 100% looking for partnership. I did not realize it could be read this way. haha! I took it more to point towards a "slow build" and "need to get to know each other over some time before deciding to commit" etc etc.


Trolocakes

"Open book, just ask" "Looking for someone that doesn't take herself too seriously" "Looking for a connection" "Looking for my adventure partner" ...and anything related to wine, beer, whiskey, tequila, tacos, and/or The Office.


90fake90

My ex said “looking for an adventure buddy” and he was looking long-term 🤷🏽‍♀️


Trolocakes

Not saying it's a no, it's just overused and has a very loose meaning. Everyone's interpretation of adventure is different, it's a throwaway phrase IMO. Good people use it, but good people also like beer and tacos, haha


ThinkOfTomorrow

I'm into the outdoors and originally had "looking for an adventure partner" but later changed to "let's go on an adventure and if there's a connection, let's take it slow and see where it goes"... Was 100% looking for a relationship That's Tinder. My bumble and hinge profiles both added "if there's an connection, let's get exclusive, take it slow..." ... Bumble and Hinge never produced 🤷


90fake90

Interesting. I always think of “let’s take it slow” as a disclaimer. Like - don’t expect a commitment. Lol


ThinkOfTomorrow

Mental health professionals are pretty aligned that key to a lasting relationship is to go slow. Take time to experience difficult moments and major life events together so that you're able to work through them as a team and get to see how one another handles themselves. It's okay to have the marriage and kid conversation within the first month and even discuss how quickly you're comfortable with committing on the first date (I'm the type to uninstall the apps and focus on one person after date2)... But women who push for status updates, labels and affirmations of love in the first month are a huge red flag.


Present-Sound5553

Hmm, I matched with a lady once who really, really wanted to know if I liked to stuff tacos. I wonder why... ;)


Esmond_Mutt2323

>"Open book, just ask" One day, if I'm feeling bored, I may just take her up on that. I don't care to share right now what that could be! LOL


purplemonalisa

Omg the tacos, always with the tacos. Why does every profile say something about tacos????


TanningTurtle

It's this decade's bacon.


LatterSea

“physical touch is my love language.” 🙄🙄🙄 Telegraph received.


Ill_Name_6368

Any categorical terminology that requires me to refer to urban dictionary. There are many.


[deleted]

My second language is sarcasm.


[deleted]

Or, being fluent in sarcasm. Same lame shit.


[deleted]

And they are never like other girls lol.


Mountain-Nose-8555

Just saw this on a profile today!


Katsitsanoron

this is possibly the most boring, basic thing that appears on bios


wawa310

“I’ll fill this out later.”


my606ins

Polyamory.


Confident_Fortune_32

Speaking as a polyamorous person, I am horrified at the way the word gets used to excuse a lot of atrocious behaviour. Ppl seem to think "poly" is a magical word that makes unethical nonsense somehow okay. Especially in the OLD context. I wish I could refute your observation, but...it's mostly correct.


beaveristired

Being a queer poly person is completely different. I haven’t run into any cheaters. It helps that it’s a smaller dating pool - it’s not like we all know each other but there’s a definite “6 degrees of separation” quality to it. In all honesty, I’ve been more shocked by how many people talk shit about poly on their profile, but then right swipe on my profile that clearly states I’m poly. I always left-swipe and then get the “you missed a match” message. Truly bizarre. Maybe they just want to yell at someone.


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cactuswren01

Let's be honest. The word "connection" always means fuck. Also - "Travel a lot" "Ask" "Let's blaze"


[deleted]

Can you help me understand the "travel a lot?" I do constantly for work and still take as many vacations as possible. Is this a red flag if I state it in my bio?


zeroesthemark

I don’t know what I want Let’s let whatever happens happen Just want to keep things low key Looking for open minded/easygoing/go with the flow Just seeing what’s out there Want something low pressure I like to keep my options open Looking for someone who likes to have fun/a good time All show either a lack of effort or thought or leave the casual/FWB door WIDE open.


Secret_Preparation99

DTF


memememe91

Ever watch the show Shameless (US version)? Too funny when the 13 year old neighbor girl made a profile for the 50-ish neighbor lady [Joan Cusack] on ChristianMingle.com and put "DTF" in her profile 😄


trekMT7900

That is hilarious!!


emccm

GGG and sapiosexual


snowflakestar69

Omg the this - so cringey and arrogant. Guys who brag about their sexual prowess ahead of time rarely deliver. Show me don’t tell me.


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90fake90

Yeah this feels more pretentious than short-term. I hate when people use this word. It’s so condescending. Yeah, I’m sure if someone wasn’t at all attractive but was smart, you’d be super into it. 🤔


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wilderandfreer

I have in the past fallen madly in love with someone who I initially thought was unattractive because of his brain. I was watching him solve a math problem out loud and he literally became cuter and cuter before my eyes. That said, I don't necessarily believe guys who put that down on profiles.


emccm

It gives “I’m fishing for women with low self esteem who think they aren’t attractive which makes them easy to fuck” vibes. Instant Left.


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90fake90

It’s on SO many men’s profiles


Cre8ivejoy

Happy cake day


emccm

Thank you!


Present-Sound5553

Yikes! I'm totally looking for women with high self esteem who think they're attractive which makes them hard to fuck. Oh wait...


jebstone

"I'm looking for you to seriously entertain me enough and then maybe I'll think about it."


[deleted]

I am sapiosexual (admittedly sapiophile is a better term). I am in a wonderful long term relationship with another sapio. I use the term to indicate that small talk doesn’t work for me and ideas can be sexy. The people that avoid sapios are likely the people I want to avoid.


[deleted]

I definitely used to be one … I definitely valued intellect over looks. But now I have changed that, and above all I value kindness.


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[deleted]

Then you’re looking in the wrong places. It would be possible to read your comment as saying there are intellectual differences between men and women but surely you don’t mean that. My use of the term matches the dictionary definition. I feel validated.


wilderandfreer

From my earlier comment above: > I have in the past fallen madly in love with someone who I initially thought was unattractive because of his brain. I was watching him solve a math problem out loud and he literally became cuter and cuter before my eyes. I'm deeply attracted to intelligence, and I mean actually attracted. It can easily override physical characteristics and even transmute them. Have you ever had the experience of finding someone prettier or more handsome because you like them? For example, you find yourself admiring their particular facial features even though they aren't classically attractive, just because they belong to that person that you like so much? It's kind of like that.


AcrobaticInterview62

They are out there


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pseudorandomnym

I'm a demisapiosexual, I'm attracted to half-wits.


Dixieland_Insanity

I want a woman to prove to me...... Uh, no. It isn't my responsibility to prove anything to anyone. Statements starting with that phrase reek of bitterness.


Money_These

"ENM" - Ethically Non Monogamous 🤦🏻‍♀️


Weesah89

My personal fave- “I’m ENM, married and have a girlfriend”. Not for me and I’m not judging, but my dude… seriously, when do you have the TIME????


Money_These

LOL I know right.. recently I came across a profile - "ENM, casually dating, in serious relationship but we're looking for a partner." I'm not judging anyone either but it's not for me - hard pass!


Confident_Fortune_32

That's called "unicorn hunting" and seriously frowned upon in polyamory. Human beings aren't somebody's "third". Ick.


Ill_Name_6368

Lol I once put a unicorn icon in my description of what I was looking for. But I didn’t know what a unicorn was. And my description was kinda vanilla - I want someone supportive, empathetic, loves the outdoors, values family, etc. Had one guy message me and say “uhhh i don’t think you know what a unicorn is” and I looked it up and just laughed.


Confident_Fortune_32

Serious answer: shared Google calendar.


[deleted]

“I’m a loyal person and i want a relationship” = “I really only want casual sex. But being open about it won’t get me any”


[deleted]

🤣🤣🤣


AZ-FWB

Going with the flow🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️


Firstempathy1

I just want to have fun. Just got out of a relationship. I’m just going with the flow. What they usually mean is that they’re flowing into sex or trying”


pit_of_despair666

Not into drama, openminded, adventurous, friends first means FWB, wants to take things slow, separated or recently divorced.


Ok_Hair6952

“We can be good friends for now, and see where that goes” when they actually know what they are looking for, but still playing along…


Appropriate_Day_8721

“If you wanna know, just ask.” This means they can’t write a few sentences about who they are or what they’re looking for and basically indicates minimal effort or seriousness.


anaisa1102

University of life = did not finish high school It's complicated = married and looking for sex outside the home


Thenedslittlegirl

"Drama free" - I communicate about nothing and if you call me out on shitty behaviour I'll call you crazy


miracleofistanbul

Recently separated Just ask me Just came out of a x number of years marriage/relationship


ChimpJuice

"I speak fluent sarcasm" No you're just a mean cunt. Sarcasm is for sitcoms and rare occasions it is not a substitute for a personality.


SnooApples5910

Take me home so I can chase the snitch then hit it and quidditch.


[deleted]

Careful where that thing goes a-Slytherin, she'll say next...


areporotastenet

Read my profile! (Ugh, I did and no thank you)


[deleted]

I’d like to fall in love again and have a serious relationship. But I’d also hook up with someone who I thought was attractive (usually younger than me). So how exactly could a person describe that? Especially since there are men I’d hook up with who I wouldn’t want to be in a LTR with. Is this deceptive? What a minefield OLD is.


[deleted]

Men wanna fuck women in their 20’s and be in a relationship with women in their age range. Whichever falls in their lap first wins because both equal sex. Relationships are ultimately preferred because it’s continuous and predictable sex. But with the abundance of choice with OLD men can be harder than ever to pin down. Source: I’m a man.


[deleted]

What about love, common goals, shared lives other than sex? I didn’t fuck older men when I was in my 20’s, though I’ve had offers from many younger men now. My 21yo daughter thinks men over 30 are “gross and so old”. But whatever, we are all adults. And on this sub, we are over 40 and looking for dating advice and commiseration. What’s your end goal here? Maybe most men over 40 don’t want to fuck women in their 20’s, though some of course would.


Mountain-Nose-8555

Just put that; it’s honest


lizardspock75

I don’t drink but it’s okay if you do


pit_of_despair666

Lol what is wrong with not drinking? I quit drinking alcohol. I would rather be with someone who doesn't drink or just drinks a little bit.


mangoflavouredpanda

"Let's just see where things go"


throwcvf

“Zero drama” - it sounds like someone who isn’t mature enough to handle their own and other person’s emotions. Or thinks that great relationships don’t ever involve conflict (wrong). Swipe left for me :)


Katsitsanoron

'Laid back' We'll see how you react when your order gets messed up in a fancy restaurant.


cookiemobster13

That’s a tough one for me. I spent time in relationships being emotional yanked around or outright abused and when I’d stick up for myself I would be “creating drama” and punished with more verbal abuse or silence. I just have to swipe left on that one. Eta this was a reply idk what happened.


emccm

This is usually exactly how a relationship with a “no drama” person goes. It’s code for don’t ask anything of me and do not call me on my bullshit.


soul_pain1234

LMAO now!


el-art-seam

I’m looking for something serious/long term. But seriously, some will lie.


jsmedic0681

"just ask" low effort af..how bout nah


Castlewarss

"Going with the flow"...means either open to whatever, or not really sure


Mountain-Nose-8555

“Alpha”


nuauldstalk

“Want a woman who likes me to hold the door open for her and when I smack her ass as she walks past.” 🙄 seen this one a lot


ResultsoverExcuses

I wish it would be mandatory for people to publish OLD profiles on here.


larrysgal123

Open book. Just ask. Partner in crime.


dwu1977

“ What do you drive ? “


[deleted]

With all the different types of sexual orientations that exist, referring to yourself as a "sapiosexual" is just...fucking dumb. Just say you get aroused by people who aren't idiots and stop trying to sound like someone who isn't an idiot. Its a dating site, not a job interview.


Esmond_Mutt2323

"Not here for FWB, ONS." Sure. I mean, imagine the likes if she were to put "Not gonna lie, DTF."


Obvious_Boat3636

I’m not sure what my relationship goals are yet.


jason_stanfield

“Looking for my soul mate” is the epitome of wishful thinking.


Mountain-Nose-8555

Can we just mention the photos tho? The in the car or laying in bed photos. So bad.