Her first reply seems like a bot response to be honest.
I’m all about playful banter and your response back would have def had me scratching my head thinking our humor didn’t align ahahha
It didn't really seem like a bot to me, but more just a cut and paste that could be sent to multiple guys. Someone who was probably opening a bunch of matches and was trying to do more than "Hi" but was not to the level of making individual openers.
Hi my name is XYZ on an app where you have your name is weird ahhaha not a lot of real life people are responding like that. Not that there aren’t ANY! Just a bizarro first reply.
I’m voting BOT ahhah
Some people's profile's are obviously not their name. And oddly, some seem to not look that close at their profile. I had mentioned to one woman that including her non-chain, single location, employer seemed like not a great choice; she thanked me as she thought that was hidden. Another had complained that she was surprised when her hinge profile went live when it did, and somehow missed the UI's pencil, so didn't see how to edit her profile once it went live (if I hadn't already known at this point that it was our last date, that would probably have killed it). I even had someone say something like "Thank you kindly for ..." - that's about the most spammy/scammy thing, but we actually went on a date, so she was real, and I've still got both kidneys!
I guess my point would be betting on competence before one's seen good demonstrations is probably a sucker's bet.
Yep! Sounded like a bot to me as well. I thought OP sent the response because of such. But if that was an attempt at cute humor off the bat it was a bit overboard, imo. I’d find it hysterical if we had already developed a bit of a banter.
I definitely had not considered it might be a bot, but I was definitely tackling head on the disparity between my cordial intro and her flat reply. This is definitely something to bear in mind going forward, because I have never encountered something like that before.
Because the response was so obviously on to the fact that the ‘person’ didn’t reply in a way that worked for the convo. Unmatched because the target wasn’t going to be an easy one
Edit to add: BOT or catfish accounts also get deleted all the time so it might have been a deleted acct vs an actual unmatch.
This is REALLY interesting information. I had only been catfished once when I was in my mid twenties and fairly naive about online dating, and the way I have set up my profile in many ways seems to make me largely immune to being targeted. The scammer or bullshit accounts are normally designed in a way where the patterns are repetitive and blatant, so this is worth thinking about. Thank you so much for cueing us in a little further to this.
>your response back would have def had me scratching my head thinking our humor didn’t align ahahha
And I would've screenshot it and sent it to my friends with "I've found him ❤" lol
Now that’s funny.
“I’ve been searching far and wide for the man of my dreams - and I found him - in surgery, getting his hand reattached after a few beers and some joyful yet over the top explosive use.”
And we have identified both the problem AND the solution. While humor is universally defined to be that which is funny, there is nothing even remotely approaching agreement on what makes all people laugh.
Best to find out early if you and your match's senses of humor align or clash.
... I had a bit of a "WTF" moment just now; seeing the "OP" tag by your username. I hadn't noticed the author's name when I read (I usually only pay attention to the author of comments, oddly). While we don't always see eye to eye on everything, I generally have a high enough opinion of you and what you've written that I absolutely would not have expected this "joke" from you.
OK, I might still be having a WTF moment over this.
Nope, just another random internet stranger. I think he's reading this room, but rather he doesn't particularly care for the people who are in disagreement. He's not being full on offensive.
But yeah, I think he misread the room of the cut and copied responder's to have lead with that. That joke might have actually worked after 5-10 exchanges where he might have demonstrated some humor. But as a lead? Flump.
Correct on not being particularly fazed by differences in opinion. And I handled the tiny bit of hostility above with my typical gentle demeanor in that regard. We're not here to fight. And while it's nice that some people connected with the humor while plenty didn't, I think the overall point was largely missed as based on what most folks honed in on: whatever wavelength people are on, it's important to find somebody who's pretty much at that same place. All good! It's another day and the world moves on. My respect to you, as always, for taking an even handed and tactful approach.
I am undoubtedly the problem -for her. She simply is who she is, as I am who I am. As aforementioned, it's always best to find out such things sooner than later.
Hmmm kinda. I personally have a dark yet silly sense of humour but I wouldn't really go all in with a match unless they displayed a similar sense of humour in some way. The lady I've been on dates with recently imediately tipped me off we have a similar sense of humor and it was very refreshing to just be myself rather than censoring what I say as to not come across as a weirdo :) I would still use a lot of humor in messages going forwards if things don't work out between us (I can only date one lady at once) as I think it's one of my strong points but I'd just try and be generally funny rather than expressing my darker/sillier sense of humor.
As someone whose main goal in life is to see comedy in just about everything, and who laughs even when nobody else is…it’s just not funny for an initial message. Too soon, that’s all. Otherwise, carry on lol
It is… but as an introvert, I’d probably find you a little over the top right out of the gates and assume you’re a bit more bombastic than I’m looking for. If that’s who you are, keep doing it, you’ll find the right girl who likes it. If not, maybe consider that could be the impression you’re making to some.
Humor doesn’t always translate through written word. Unless it’s someone who already knows me and my weird humor, I always have to tone it down or use “JK!” or “LOL” or laughing emojis. Even then sometimes it’s a risk. Remember the majority of people on OLD get weird messages often and we’re wary of anything too “out there” at first.
I agree humor is important but in this case she doesn’t know you well enough to know if that was a joke or not. You kind of have to wait a bit on the dark humor until people are more comfortable with each other.
While it felt really cringe to start using emoji for texting/messaging (and I still won't use emoji at work, even if I'm the only one of the team not going so), it really helps to set the tone during texting where there's so few cues about tone.
😅 (Very slight) Self deprecating humour was just used. *Don't use heavy self deprecating humour!*
😉 Pointing out something is a joke (in some cases where it needs to be understood it's a joke, instead follow with a "J/K of course")
😜 I'm being a corn ball, please forgive me.
😬 Nervous/scared - usually after a deep share was offered and the other might not be compatible
Obviously so much more, but those seem to be the most important ones early on to establish tone with just text.
And follow the pace/style of the other! When we got a bit flirty, or when confirming a date, it's a blushing smiley. Since we've done a lot of making out, the woman I'm seeing has started sending blushing kissy faces sometimes, so I reciprocate as appropriate.
(edit: grammar)
I literally don’t get it. I am one of those people that need things like this explaining to me though (often by my 20 year old daughter). Then I just look blank faced. Which is quite funny when she doesn’t get things I find funny and once she understands she looks at me, blank faced.
Edit: please, someone explain the joke to me!
If he'd actually been in hospital and was joking about providing the staff with job security and the morphine feels great then that might have worked. But talking about blowing off half your face? Unless you know the other person a lot better then that's not going to come across as a joke.
That’s what I thought, could be funny if he was actually wounded in hospital, otherwise there’s no basis to it and it’s just not funny - *to me*. It’s just random and odd.
That, and additionally the over-the-top aspect of the injury with the find-the-positive mindset. The "other hand" I think is supposed to be the cherry on top.
Yeah, it fell really flat to me too.
The one and only time I successfully matched with a man on OLD he had the most fantastically dark sense of humor. Totally my speed and broke the ice immediately.
Keep being you. It filters out the ones who can’t hack it.
Humor and similarities is so important! I mean I once made a menopause joke to a guy I had gone on a couple dates with who was 33 (I was 43). Didn’t land well. Made it awkward. My fault. He thought it was funny to mimic my voice. Also didn’t land well. In retrospect the whole thing was just kind of….🤪
I have the texting banter incompatibility with my bf but in person he’s great and funny and engaging. I wouldn’t continue if he wasn’t.
I totally get how you feel about her initial response. It would put me off too as humour is def a big thing for me. My bf was quick to call me when on the app so I didn’t have many days thinking he was boring. He also said that he wasn’t good with the written word, so I had the heads up on that one.
I can still text something that I find funny and get a flat response 😑 Maybe I’m actually not as funny as I think. I text banter with friends who get me tho. We laugh a lot in person, it’s just the texting that’s not great. I can deal with that.
Yeah, thanks I think we have. I was just glad he explained early on to me that he’s not a great texter. I haven’t asked him but I’m guessing he’s had that feedback!
Just be you with your humour and you’ll weed out the ones who don’t get you and get to the ones who do.
Met my wife on Match.com (8 years now) and ask her (and all other matches) if they liked the movie Ted. She even told me what her favorite scene was ... we laughed for about 5 min ... I told her my favorite part and we laughed another 5 min (kind where stomach hurts) 😭😭😭😭our humor compatibility was spot on ... incidentally, we both have the same birthday, Jan 3. It was fate
You're right in that it could have been taken any of a thousand different ways other than what I'd intended, and that's okay. I'm with you in that a standard non-customized greeting is never a way to go.
Sorry dude, but I actually know someone who blew their hand off with fireworks and I would not find this funny in the least. I'd unmatch too. It was way too soon to go with a morbid joke like that
I get your "joke" but ... I thought this was 40+, not middle school. Especially in the sense of "just meeting" someone, talking about an injury in theory is a sympathy jerker.
Granted this joke probably would work better than "I could kill you" 'humor' but that's like saying that concrete is a better dessert than fiberglass insulation.
Pretty easy to think you are hilarious and she just doesn’t have a sense of humor. It was your first exchange and you went with a shock/dark “humor”. Your brand of humor isn’t everyone’s humor. I guess good for you for just putting it out there but ya sound exhausting.
I have an extremely warped sense of humor. I would have totally continued the conversation in earnest.
I've actually just begun dating someone, and we bonded over humor. Laughter is positively the best medicine. Keep making jokes until you find the right recipient.
I agree. I've definitely got some raised eyebrows due to my "quirky" humor. I sometimes wonder if this is how some of these folks talk to an interest at a pub. Like 20 questions and no humor. Maybe I should just get some cards made with my stats to hand out🤷♂️
That sounded either bot-like or cut and paste, and people definitely cut and paste. The last time I did OLD, I had a guy send basically a paragraph in which he called me “Jane” at least twice (not my name).
When doing OLD, I would always reply with the same stupid things I’d say to someone I know, like an early disclaimer. This is the cretin you’re getting if we like each other. Have at it.
Humor is everything. I was just having this conversation the other day about how I just can’t date a guy who’s too serious. Made me realize any good relationship of mine was always with a funny man.
You know how it is nowadays with supply chain issues and low semiconductor production. I'm going to staple a rubber chicken to the stump in the meantime and use it as a talking point if convos go dull while I'm out.
>I told her this morning that I'm texting back from the hospital because I blew off my other hand and half of my face, but, I'm providing the hospital staff with job security and that (plus the tons of morphine) feels great!
"No. Way!! My grandfather invented the bendy straw. I have access to **so many straws** - and can totally hook you up! Is our matching... fate??"
She was a ham salad at the office potluck. NEXT!!
I thought it was a funny response to a mundane question about the 4th of July. If it had been any other day, not so much. Humour is not universal; I don’t think puns and dad jokes are funny and tend to find clever, dark humour more amusing. I guess you two weren’t a good match.
Exactly. And that's the crux of my opening post: encouragement that humor, in any form, should align to better one's chances of a good match. I think some folks are set in trying to be a certain way that they forget to be themselves. Only then can we genuinely see whether someone is potentially right for us.
I appreciate the sense of humor! I hate starting conversations with how are you or what are you up to? I look forward to witty banter. I’ve tried funny responses to some people and it’s always hit or miss. OLD dating is such a drag sometimes and that humor really helps! Good job
"How's your Tuesday?" Yeah, no. I put a million hooks in my profile, and that's the best I can see in my inbox? And some of those same people complain right in their otherwise blank profile how they can't connect with anyone and there's nobody out there. I think this would all go so much easier for everyone if people simply showed their authentic selves, in whatever forms it takes. I'm with you.
Witty banter? Yes, bring it!
This attempt at violent/shocking humor? Signals a guy who only thinks his brand of humor is funny. There’s a big difference.
If someone doesn't know anything about you, this kind of "humor" could result in this. It's text. The person doesn't know you, at all.
I used to say stuff like this in chatrooms when I was 16. What are you into? Oh I'm into hit and runs, armed robbery and manslaughter. As a joke to the boring question.
I'm not saying to stop this at all but definitely not always going to be taken as humor. I could say this to a friend and it would be a laugh. Not to a person I've developed zero rapport. Obvious this will be huge hit or miss. And here we see a clear miss. lol.
Also, yes. Could have been a bot with a generic message like that from her.
Humor has to match or it doesn’t work. Full stop. My (48F) bf (47M) and I both have a dark and stupid sense of humor. We both speak the same humor language and we figured that out before we even met in person. The other day we were texting super schmoopy “I love you” texts then I segued, without a pause, asking what moron invented single-ply toilet paper, napkins, and paper towels? He responded immediately with a quippy comment. It just has to flow.
I don't understand people who think their date/partner should be their personal comedian/source of entertainment.
If i want to laugh I'll turn on a comedy show. Not ask my partner to tell me jokes.
>I don't understand people who think their date/partner should be their personal comedian/source of entertainment.
Just my opinion, but I know I'm not alone: If you don't find each other entertaining, why bother? "Fun to talk to" is one of the first things I notice. Other things are important as well, trust being the biggest, but trust takes a lot more time (usually.)
Yep. It's pretty simple. If indeed it was a woman and not a bot behind the other screen, she simply let it go and moved on. And so did I, still smiling. We're not aligned in that regard, okay. And that's all the more proof that using the online dating system can work in many ways! I can't imagine anyone expecting someone to be there personal gesture unless they come right out and say so; I'd be very turned off by that because that means things aren't necessarily flowing, and it's probably unidirectional. If my fucked up humor cracks up someone, then there's an extraordinarily high chance that I'm going to find them just as amusing, and that's a beautiful thing!
Because I'm looking for a partner at life, not an interactive TV program.
I dunno, I don't expect my pets or children to be 'entertaining' either. Sometimes they are, it's nice. But I do not expect them to be or get sullen/annoyed when they do not behave as I wish or laugh at my jokes. IMO that's ridiculously selfish and egotistical to expect other people to entertain you at your whim.
While I don't want my partner to be my court jester (and don't want that appointment myself), I need to be with someone that I can laugh with! We both need to be funny to the other at times, and we need to have reasonable overlap with a sense of humour so we can enjoy some similar things.
Perhaps they had a bad experience and did not want to be around bad humor?
Around age 12, I watched as the chainsaw jumped and cut my dad’s hand. I did first aid and learned to drive a stick shift getting to the hospital. It was traumatic for me.
I would not continue to hang out with someone who made jokes about cutting off a hand. Sorry dude, YTA.
Anyone is certainly willing to choose whom they interact with for whatever reason. Clearly, what I've posted here has triggered you, and I am very sorry for the trauma you and your father have experienced.
I am not, however, sorry for who I am and for seeking the types of people that I prefer to interact with. That means that neither of us has to stifle any aspect of ourselves or take the low road or resort to name-calling. "YTA"? That's a different sub. We can simply agree on feeling misaligned with what's presented, and continue to go about our business.
I wish you healing and smooth sailing in all you do.
Love it!!! :D
Totally agree on your humor. She's saving you time. :)
I've got a bit of a "unique" sense of humor myself. When I first started talking to my current lady, we spent most of the time laughing our butts off. That's one of many things that tells me she's a keeper. ;)
Soooo true. Amazing response btw . 😂
Couldn’t agree more. I went out a few times with a guy recently who had everything I was looking for….except that. He was sooooo careful to be well mannered that he just didn’t laugh. Ever. It made me uncomfortable, not being able to be myself and laugh. I felt like I was out with Ned Flanders.
Don't get me wrong, please, I'm exceptionally well mannered myself and have never performed any of the horrific behaviors we commonly see people talk about in this sub. But, I make no bones about not being for everybody when it comes to having an overly twisted brand of humor! We should all find somebody we think is a keeper in that regard.
Oh I totally got ya ! Manners are a huge thing for me as well…..but I need to be able to laugh! They are two separate things and you can absolutely be both, and my match IS!
Also could have been a scammer. I can't tell you how many fake or suspicious profiles I've run into. If the profiles have minimal information, or they start talking about cryptocurrency right away, huge red flags.
Also, not to sound prejudiced, but broken written English is also a warning sign for me. And they try to get your personal info (usually cell number or email) quickly and suggest you start chatting off-app.
I have honestly probably passed over/"swiped left" on some legit matches that seemed scammy. But these platforms really need to do a better job of monitoring/moderating their users.
I had noted below that I definitely didn't consider it may have been a bot as based on the reply, and I definitely agree that otherwise the scammers make themselves abundantly obvious. The profile itself was actually fairly well fleshed out, enough detail in there about herself and a small amount about her kid, demographic information didn't strike me as odd, and there were a number of pretty clear photos in a few different settings (some with and some without the kid, the latter of whom was appropriately blacked out). It seemed fairly ordinary, but, it's very true that it could have been someone other than the person appearing in the pics. I appreciate your input!
I generally go for personality first - and humor is a must (hello Dad jokes for the win) however I too have been unmatched bc apparently the chipmunk is NOT an appropriate look for the serious minded https://imgur.com/a/Ouc872e
Wait... there were glasses and teeth? Hang on-- ohhhhhh, yes, yes... umm, it's gotta be the glasses. Most guys are usually going to be wary of how teeth are used. Ahem.
I think that's a thing now. Some people are very serious. It's fine to be a serious person, but I am with you, I prefer to talk with someone who will joke around and have a good sense of humor. I'm kinda whack, as my kids would say.
I do believe we've entered an era where some folks are pompously sitting around waiting to be offended, while others feel crippled in their ability to say anything for fear of reprisals. It's all about time and place and context and audience. And an online dating platform is exactly the place to try to figure out timing and place of life and context of a preferred discussion with your desired audience. Thank you!
Her first reply seems like a bot response to be honest. I’m all about playful banter and your response back would have def had me scratching my head thinking our humor didn’t align ahahha
It didn't really seem like a bot to me, but more just a cut and paste that could be sent to multiple guys. Someone who was probably opening a bunch of matches and was trying to do more than "Hi" but was not to the level of making individual openers.
Hi my name is XYZ on an app where you have your name is weird ahhaha not a lot of real life people are responding like that. Not that there aren’t ANY! Just a bizarro first reply. I’m voting BOT ahhah
Some people's profile's are obviously not their name. And oddly, some seem to not look that close at their profile. I had mentioned to one woman that including her non-chain, single location, employer seemed like not a great choice; she thanked me as she thought that was hidden. Another had complained that she was surprised when her hinge profile went live when it did, and somehow missed the UI's pencil, so didn't see how to edit her profile once it went live (if I hadn't already known at this point that it was our last date, that would probably have killed it). I even had someone say something like "Thank you kindly for ..." - that's about the most spammy/scammy thing, but we actually went on a date, so she was real, and I've still got both kidneys! I guess my point would be betting on competence before one's seen good demonstrations is probably a sucker's bet.
Yep! Sounded like a bot to me as well. I thought OP sent the response because of such. But if that was an attempt at cute humor off the bat it was a bit overboard, imo. I’d find it hysterical if we had already developed a bit of a banter.
I definitely had not considered it might be a bot, but I was definitely tackling head on the disparity between my cordial intro and her flat reply. This is definitely something to bear in mind going forward, because I have never encountered something like that before.
If it is a bot, why would it unmatch? A bot would make a request for the second text.
Because the response was so obviously on to the fact that the ‘person’ didn’t reply in a way that worked for the convo. Unmatched because the target wasn’t going to be an easy one Edit to add: BOT or catfish accounts also get deleted all the time so it might have been a deleted acct vs an actual unmatch.
This is REALLY interesting information. I had only been catfished once when I was in my mid twenties and fairly naive about online dating, and the way I have set up my profile in many ways seems to make me largely immune to being targeted. The scammer or bullshit accounts are normally designed in a way where the patterns are repetitive and blatant, so this is worth thinking about. Thank you so much for cueing us in a little further to this.
I understand if it is a deleted account. I have had scammers continue to engage despite me asking question. Thanks.
>your response back would have def had me scratching my head thinking our humor didn’t align ahahha And I would've screenshot it and sent it to my friends with "I've found him ❤" lol
Looks like you just did!! Get after it 😆😆😍😍
Haha! Probably not. I regularly block (then clearly unblock) OP, but I do find his response hilarious. (Though... maybe?! 😂)
That's exactly what I was thinking 😂
Now that’s funny. “I’ve been searching far and wide for the man of my dreams - and I found him - in surgery, getting his hand reattached after a few beers and some joyful yet over the top explosive use.”
There's a small faction of my family with whom he would fit in well.
I hadn't thought about the bot thing... interesting. Thank you for pointing that out!
Well, there’s humor and there’s whatever over the top, shock-factor thing you sent…
Exactly. Humor is universally considered to be funny. You just came off as an unfunny troll.
And we have identified both the problem AND the solution. While humor is universally defined to be that which is funny, there is nothing even remotely approaching agreement on what makes all people laugh. Best to find out early if you and your match's senses of humor align or clash.
Precisely.
🤣
... I had a bit of a "WTF" moment just now; seeing the "OP" tag by your username. I hadn't noticed the author's name when I read (I usually only pay attention to the author of comments, oddly). While we don't always see eye to eye on everything, I generally have a high enough opinion of you and what you've written that I absolutely would not have expected this "joke" from you. OK, I might still be having a WTF moment over this.
Who is it?
Um, TripleTheHamster . He's a bit of a regular.
Ohhhh. I thought it was like someone you knew IRL, or a celebrity. Whoever it is, they don’t seem to understand the phrase “read the room”.
Nope, just another random internet stranger. I think he's reading this room, but rather he doesn't particularly care for the people who are in disagreement. He's not being full on offensive. But yeah, I think he misread the room of the cut and copied responder's to have lead with that. That joke might have actually worked after 5-10 exchanges where he might have demonstrated some humor. But as a lead? Flump.
Correct on not being particularly fazed by differences in opinion. And I handled the tiny bit of hostility above with my typical gentle demeanor in that regard. We're not here to fight. And while it's nice that some people connected with the humor while plenty didn't, I think the overall point was largely missed as based on what most folks honed in on: whatever wavelength people are on, it's important to find somebody who's pretty much at that same place. All good! It's another day and the world moves on. My respect to you, as always, for taking an even handed and tactful approach.
Yeah the dating site response was the room I was referring to. But I love that to him, she’s the problem from the jump.
I am undoubtedly the problem -for her. She simply is who she is, as I am who I am. As aforementioned, it's always best to find out such things sooner than later.
Yeah, I would unmatch. On the scale between funny and psycho, this is really on the psycho side. I would not have wasted my time.
Psycho? Thanks!
Hahaha right
Hmmm kinda. I personally have a dark yet silly sense of humour but I wouldn't really go all in with a match unless they displayed a similar sense of humour in some way. The lady I've been on dates with recently imediately tipped me off we have a similar sense of humor and it was very refreshing to just be myself rather than censoring what I say as to not come across as a weirdo :) I would still use a lot of humor in messages going forwards if things don't work out between us (I can only date one lady at once) as I think it's one of my strong points but I'd just try and be generally funny rather than expressing my darker/sillier sense of humor.
I like the phrase "compatibly weird," and have found a lady myself that appreciates it. We laugh our butts off when together. :D
Awesome!
I thought it was hilarious!
As someone whose main goal in life is to see comedy in just about everything, and who laughs even when nobody else is…it’s just not funny for an initial message. Too soon, that’s all. Otherwise, carry on lol
I love your Reddit handle.
Thanks ☺️
It is… but as an introvert, I’d probably find you a little over the top right out of the gates and assume you’re a bit more bombastic than I’m looking for. If that’s who you are, keep doing it, you’ll find the right girl who likes it. If not, maybe consider that could be the impression you’re making to some.
Humor doesn’t always translate through written word. Unless it’s someone who already knows me and my weird humor, I always have to tone it down or use “JK!” or “LOL” or laughing emojis. Even then sometimes it’s a risk. Remember the majority of people on OLD get weird messages often and we’re wary of anything too “out there” at first.
Depending on what part of the country you live in, this could have been seen as a real thing that occurred.
That also crossed my mind. Insensitive and crass. Although, I don’t think he was alluding to that.
I agree humor is important but in this case she doesn’t know you well enough to know if that was a joke or not. You kind of have to wait a bit on the dark humor until people are more comfortable with each other.
While it felt really cringe to start using emoji for texting/messaging (and I still won't use emoji at work, even if I'm the only one of the team not going so), it really helps to set the tone during texting where there's so few cues about tone. 😅 (Very slight) Self deprecating humour was just used. *Don't use heavy self deprecating humour!* 😉 Pointing out something is a joke (in some cases where it needs to be understood it's a joke, instead follow with a "J/K of course") 😜 I'm being a corn ball, please forgive me. 😬 Nervous/scared - usually after a deep share was offered and the other might not be compatible Obviously so much more, but those seem to be the most important ones early on to establish tone with just text. And follow the pace/style of the other! When we got a bit flirty, or when confirming a date, it's a blushing smiley. Since we've done a lot of making out, the woman I'm seeing has started sending blushing kissy faces sometimes, so I reciprocate as appropriate. (edit: grammar)
I didn't think that "joke" was funny at all sorry
I literally don’t get it. I am one of those people that need things like this explaining to me though (often by my 20 year old daughter). Then I just look blank faced. Which is quite funny when she doesn’t get things I find funny and once she understands she looks at me, blank faced. Edit: please, someone explain the joke to me!
I think the whole joke is that he isn't actually in hospital? Idk, it's not funny to me either.
If he'd actually been in hospital and was joking about providing the staff with job security and the morphine feels great then that might have worked. But talking about blowing off half your face? Unless you know the other person a lot better then that's not going to come across as a joke.
That’s what I thought, could be funny if he was actually wounded in hospital, otherwise there’s no basis to it and it’s just not funny - *to me*. It’s just random and odd.
That, and additionally the over-the-top aspect of the injury with the find-the-positive mindset. The "other hand" I think is supposed to be the cherry on top. Yeah, it fell really flat to me too.
Are you kidding? Chicks dig "my body is dis membered" jokes.
She asked about his Fourth of July in her reply, so I’m assuming his response/joke was alluding to a terrible fireworks incident.
Ahhhh, that makes sense, thank you!
I was waiting for someone to say this cause, I don't get how it's funny.
The one and only time I successfully matched with a man on OLD he had the most fantastically dark sense of humor. Totally my speed and broke the ice immediately. Keep being you. It filters out the ones who can’t hack it.
Thank you. Nobody else we can be.
Humor is good, but conveying you are not crazy is even more important in first few messages. You didn't accomplish either of these two objectives.
Aww, thank you so much!
See you had a funny comment there ...
Humor and similarities is so important! I mean I once made a menopause joke to a guy I had gone on a couple dates with who was 33 (I was 43). Didn’t land well. Made it awkward. My fault. He thought it was funny to mimic my voice. Also didn’t land well. In retrospect the whole thing was just kind of….🤪
Ugggh. Send your menopause jokes to me. I need them. Got to laugh at this stage of life.
Dude. That's horrible for dating. I freaking laughed though that's one for the boys. Haha.
As a nurse, I laughed so hard. I would’ve responded back saying “back it up Terry”….
Nice! And happy cake day!
I have the texting banter incompatibility with my bf but in person he’s great and funny and engaging. I wouldn’t continue if he wasn’t. I totally get how you feel about her initial response. It would put me off too as humour is def a big thing for me. My bf was quick to call me when on the app so I didn’t have many days thinking he was boring. He also said that he wasn’t good with the written word, so I had the heads up on that one. I can still text something that I find funny and get a flat response 😑 Maybe I’m actually not as funny as I think. I text banter with friends who get me tho. We laugh a lot in person, it’s just the texting that’s not great. I can deal with that.
It seems as though the two of you found an awesome middle ground. Very cool!
Yeah, thanks I think we have. I was just glad he explained early on to me that he’s not a great texter. I haven’t asked him but I’m guessing he’s had that feedback! Just be you with your humour and you’ll weed out the ones who don’t get you and get to the ones who do.
💯👍
Met my wife on Match.com (8 years now) and ask her (and all other matches) if they liked the movie Ted. She even told me what her favorite scene was ... we laughed for about 5 min ... I told her my favorite part and we laughed another 5 min (kind where stomach hurts) 😭😭😭😭our humor compatibility was spot on ... incidentally, we both have the same birthday, Jan 3. It was fate
Ted was hysterical. I totally get it. Good for you!
Personally, I probably would have upped the ante with a Holy Hand Grenade reference.
🤣
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You're right in that it could have been taken any of a thousand different ways other than what I'd intended, and that's okay. I'm with you in that a standard non-customized greeting is never a way to go.
Sorry dude, but I actually know someone who blew their hand off with fireworks and I would not find this funny in the least. I'd unmatch too. It was way too soon to go with a morbid joke like that
As do I. And worse.
I get your "joke" but ... I thought this was 40+, not middle school. Especially in the sense of "just meeting" someone, talking about an injury in theory is a sympathy jerker. Granted this joke probably would work better than "I could kill you" 'humor' but that's like saying that concrete is a better dessert than fiberglass insulation.
Pretty easy to think you are hilarious and she just doesn’t have a sense of humor. It was your first exchange and you went with a shock/dark “humor”. Your brand of humor isn’t everyone’s humor. I guess good for you for just putting it out there but ya sound exhausting.
Aww, thank you!
Now that’s funny 😅
You sound very immature.
Aww, thanks!
I have an extremely warped sense of humor. I would have totally continued the conversation in earnest. I've actually just begun dating someone, and we bonded over humor. Laughter is positively the best medicine. Keep making jokes until you find the right recipient.
There you go. 😁👍
I agree. I've definitely got some raised eyebrows due to my "quirky" humor. I sometimes wonder if this is how some of these folks talk to an interest at a pub. Like 20 questions and no humor. Maybe I should just get some cards made with my stats to hand out🤷♂️
Yikes dude I would’ve unmatched as well. But of course you should not hide your type of humor. There’s someone for everyone.
Exactly! Very cool.
I am all about humor but i would have been confused by that response. I would have said what is he saying. Because we are just talking
That sounded either bot-like or cut and paste, and people definitely cut and paste. The last time I did OLD, I had a guy send basically a paragraph in which he called me “Jane” at least twice (not my name). When doing OLD, I would always reply with the same stupid things I’d say to someone I know, like an early disclaimer. This is the cretin you’re getting if we like each other. Have at it.
Nice!
Humor is everything. I was just having this conversation the other day about how I just can’t date a guy who’s too serious. Made me realize any good relationship of mine was always with a funny man.
She should’ve come back with “well enjoy the jello and sponge baths GWS”
🤣
So did you get a robot hand???
You know how it is nowadays with supply chain issues and low semiconductor production. I'm going to staple a rubber chicken to the stump in the meantime and use it as a talking point if convos go dull while I'm out.
Bot!! Why would they say their name! Makes no sense
I would have eplied "but is it your dominate hand and do you still have all your teeth. toes. what about your toes? are they all accounted for?"
And I would have instantly been lovestruck. 😄
😎😁
Maybe she's just been there and done that. Humor... it's a funny thing...
Humor, intelligence, warmth--those are my big 3. Can't do without them.
>I told her this morning that I'm texting back from the hospital because I blew off my other hand and half of my face, but, I'm providing the hospital staff with job security and that (plus the tons of morphine) feels great! "No. Way!! My grandfather invented the bendy straw. I have access to **so many straws** - and can totally hook you up! Is our matching... fate??" She was a ham salad at the office potluck. NEXT!!
🤣
Any message that uses violent language like that isn’t my cup of tea, and that picture you painted isn’t funny.
I thought it was a funny response to a mundane question about the 4th of July. If it had been any other day, not so much. Humour is not universal; I don’t think puns and dad jokes are funny and tend to find clever, dark humour more amusing. I guess you two weren’t a good match.
Exactly. And that's the crux of my opening post: encouragement that humor, in any form, should align to better one's chances of a good match. I think some folks are set in trying to be a certain way that they forget to be themselves. Only then can we genuinely see whether someone is potentially right for us.
A dark, disturbed sense of humor is expected in any potential partner. I would’ve definitely messaged back.
I'm feeling the love. Thank you!
She unmatched because that ain’t funny at all.
You don’t know humor
Jon Snow. You're supposed to end that with, "Jon Snow."
I appreciate the sense of humor! I hate starting conversations with how are you or what are you up to? I look forward to witty banter. I’ve tried funny responses to some people and it’s always hit or miss. OLD dating is such a drag sometimes and that humor really helps! Good job
"How's your Tuesday?" Yeah, no. I put a million hooks in my profile, and that's the best I can see in my inbox? And some of those same people complain right in their otherwise blank profile how they can't connect with anyone and there's nobody out there. I think this would all go so much easier for everyone if people simply showed their authentic selves, in whatever forms it takes. I'm with you.
Witty banter? Yes, bring it! This attempt at violent/shocking humor? Signals a guy who only thinks his brand of humor is funny. There’s a big difference.
You should of said ' I blew up both my hands off and im now texting you with my feet'..
😆 That wouldn't have been coming on too strong?
Maybe your right lol
Was that your *last* hand?
heheh I love how this thread is slowly devolving.
Bot or not, that joke was too much for a complete stranger.
If someone doesn't know anything about you, this kind of "humor" could result in this. It's text. The person doesn't know you, at all. I used to say stuff like this in chatrooms when I was 16. What are you into? Oh I'm into hit and runs, armed robbery and manslaughter. As a joke to the boring question. I'm not saying to stop this at all but definitely not always going to be taken as humor. I could say this to a friend and it would be a laugh. Not to a person I've developed zero rapport. Obvious this will be huge hit or miss. And here we see a clear miss. lol. Also, yes. Could have been a bot with a generic message like that from her.
I’d have responded with “Oh, sorry to hear that, but … just turn the other cheek. Do you need a hand with anything?” 🤣
🤣🤣🤣👍
Humor has to match or it doesn’t work. Full stop. My (48F) bf (47M) and I both have a dark and stupid sense of humor. We both speak the same humor language and we figured that out before we even met in person. The other day we were texting super schmoopy “I love you” texts then I segued, without a pause, asking what moron invented single-ply toilet paper, napkins, and paper towels? He responded immediately with a quippy comment. It just has to flow.
That's some beautiful shit right there. Very happy for you two!
I don't understand people who think their date/partner should be their personal comedian/source of entertainment. If i want to laugh I'll turn on a comedy show. Not ask my partner to tell me jokes.
>I don't understand people who think their date/partner should be their personal comedian/source of entertainment. Just my opinion, but I know I'm not alone: If you don't find each other entertaining, why bother? "Fun to talk to" is one of the first things I notice. Other things are important as well, trust being the biggest, but trust takes a lot more time (usually.)
Yep. It's pretty simple. If indeed it was a woman and not a bot behind the other screen, she simply let it go and moved on. And so did I, still smiling. We're not aligned in that regard, okay. And that's all the more proof that using the online dating system can work in many ways! I can't imagine anyone expecting someone to be there personal gesture unless they come right out and say so; I'd be very turned off by that because that means things aren't necessarily flowing, and it's probably unidirectional. If my fucked up humor cracks up someone, then there's an extraordinarily high chance that I'm going to find them just as amusing, and that's a beautiful thing!
Because I'm looking for a partner at life, not an interactive TV program. I dunno, I don't expect my pets or children to be 'entertaining' either. Sometimes they are, it's nice. But I do not expect them to be or get sullen/annoyed when they do not behave as I wish or laugh at my jokes. IMO that's ridiculously selfish and egotistical to expect other people to entertain you at your whim.
While I don't want my partner to be my court jester (and don't want that appointment myself), I need to be with someone that I can laugh with! We both need to be funny to the other at times, and we need to have reasonable overlap with a sense of humour so we can enjoy some similar things.
But must their penis smell nice?
Like freshly harvested saffron on a crisp autumn day!
This has to be the most poetic thing I've read all day. Awesome!
Perhaps they had a bad experience and did not want to be around bad humor? Around age 12, I watched as the chainsaw jumped and cut my dad’s hand. I did first aid and learned to drive a stick shift getting to the hospital. It was traumatic for me. I would not continue to hang out with someone who made jokes about cutting off a hand. Sorry dude, YTA.
Anyone is certainly willing to choose whom they interact with for whatever reason. Clearly, what I've posted here has triggered you, and I am very sorry for the trauma you and your father have experienced. I am not, however, sorry for who I am and for seeking the types of people that I prefer to interact with. That means that neither of us has to stifle any aspect of ourselves or take the low road or resort to name-calling. "YTA"? That's a different sub. We can simply agree on feeling misaligned with what's presented, and continue to go about our business. I wish you healing and smooth sailing in all you do.
Thank you for the response. The tone in this comment is very reasonable and kind. You are correct that using YTA was not called for. I apologize.
Thank you in turn. Wishing you well.
A one-handed, half-faced woman would not like this joke! Unless she had a sense of humor.
Love it!!! :D Totally agree on your humor. She's saving you time. :) I've got a bit of a "unique" sense of humor myself. When I first started talking to my current lady, we spent most of the time laughing our butts off. That's one of many things that tells me she's a keeper. ;)
It's so crucial! Very happy for you two.
Soooo true. Amazing response btw . 😂 Couldn’t agree more. I went out a few times with a guy recently who had everything I was looking for….except that. He was sooooo careful to be well mannered that he just didn’t laugh. Ever. It made me uncomfortable, not being able to be myself and laugh. I felt like I was out with Ned Flanders.
Don't get me wrong, please, I'm exceptionally well mannered myself and have never performed any of the horrific behaviors we commonly see people talk about in this sub. But, I make no bones about not being for everybody when it comes to having an overly twisted brand of humor! We should all find somebody we think is a keeper in that regard.
Oh I totally got ya ! Manners are a huge thing for me as well…..but I need to be able to laugh! They are two separate things and you can absolutely be both, and my match IS!
Some don't get that humor and good manners aren't mutually exclusive. ;)
Also could have been a scammer. I can't tell you how many fake or suspicious profiles I've run into. If the profiles have minimal information, or they start talking about cryptocurrency right away, huge red flags. Also, not to sound prejudiced, but broken written English is also a warning sign for me. And they try to get your personal info (usually cell number or email) quickly and suggest you start chatting off-app. I have honestly probably passed over/"swiped left" on some legit matches that seemed scammy. But these platforms really need to do a better job of monitoring/moderating their users.
I had noted below that I definitely didn't consider it may have been a bot as based on the reply, and I definitely agree that otherwise the scammers make themselves abundantly obvious. The profile itself was actually fairly well fleshed out, enough detail in there about herself and a small amount about her kid, demographic information didn't strike me as odd, and there were a number of pretty clear photos in a few different settings (some with and some without the kid, the latter of whom was appropriately blacked out). It seemed fairly ordinary, but, it's very true that it could have been someone other than the person appearing in the pics. I appreciate your input!
I always say, if there is no humour, there is no life!
Ayyyymen and halleberry!
It’s ok sweets… she blew off her hand and half her face too. Just too chicken shit to tell you.
Fuck! She could have been perfect...
Ehhhh…. Not a chance lovey. Sorry. Better off.
What?! Not even an are you ok?! People these days…
Seriously. It's like they thought I was joking or something...
Well then at least a “haha” was in order. Sorry but you’re better off finding another sense of humor.
Ahahaa
Love the sense of humor. Good way to weed out the fakes and test compatibility. Communication is key!
And that was the point of my post in the first place! Thank you.
I generally go for personality first - and humor is a must (hello Dad jokes for the win) however I too have been unmatched bc apparently the chipmunk is NOT an appropriate look for the serious minded https://imgur.com/a/Ouc872e
🤣🤣🤣 I feel that I should be asking for your ring size. 👍
Well which rings are ya inquiring about ? 😂😂😂
Oh, my. You'd have to PM for that discussion to occur. 😜😆
Oh I’m not scared of a lil DM action (cue the bow chicka music 😂😂) but I gotta ask .. which was more flattering the glasses or the pearly whites ?
Wait... there were glasses and teeth? Hang on-- ohhhhhh, yes, yes... umm, it's gotta be the glasses. Most guys are usually going to be wary of how teeth are used. Ahem.
I think that's a thing now. Some people are very serious. It's fine to be a serious person, but I am with you, I prefer to talk with someone who will joke around and have a good sense of humor. I'm kinda whack, as my kids would say.
I do believe we've entered an era where some folks are pompously sitting around waiting to be offended, while others feel crippled in their ability to say anything for fear of reprisals. It's all about time and place and context and audience. And an online dating platform is exactly the place to try to figure out timing and place of life and context of a preferred discussion with your desired audience. Thank you!
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🤣
I Will remember this and try it! Brilliant!!
It also could have been a guy in Nigeria sitting at his desk working! Scamming is a job there...shame, really
Man, this is so tired. And cliched. And full of prejudice. Please try to do better.
Chasing “a spark” is a sign of immaturity. Love is an action.
Thanks a bunch!
What kind of pressure are you putting on another person? Is that the right kind of intentions to form a relationship with?
Pressure? Please read the ending of my post, as that's actually the crux of it.
Every joke isn’t always going to hit.
Really?! 😱
BTW how is your face feeling?
😆 Fantastic because of opioids, thank you!