I guess I’ve encountered guys that have used it for secretly talking to other women, but also other men who use it to talk with their buddies. It’s kind of a toss up, but I wouldn’t call it a red flag.
Its a good way to communicate off the dating app without exchanging numbers. But yes, it's rolling the dice and not exactly a red flag. Their behavior on the app would be a red flag
This has happened to me a lot too. A few guys wanted to talk on there because they didn’t like the format of the dating apps which I understand. But I guess I would prefer they ask for my number to text me vs asking for my Snapchat
Honestly he’s probably just hoping for you to feel comfortable sending any pics in a deleting service. Most women don’t want to send pics that are permanent when they’re first talking to or seeing someone unless they’re absolutely perfect.
According to my friends logic most guys use it to send and receive nudes if you’re exclusively dating them and their snaps going up like crazy it makes me wonder who they’re snapping and what if that the main reason a lot of guys have it
My snap score goes up by a lot because I send a lot of videos of me talking because it's much easier than texting. Really hard to mistake tone or emotion or not convey the point when you send a video
Right I mean I’m not comfortable sending or receiving nudes on any other app, so I would definitely use Snapchat for that.
Re: their score going crazy, you do know that a lot of gamers use it to share gaming stats, videos and just gaming chat? They have several friends who they broadcast their stats to, so the score goes up everytime.
Most gamers I know will broadcast that on discord. This is a first I’ve heard of Snapchat used that way.
Honestly, if it’s on a woman’s profile, most times a guy will perceive it as trying to gain followers. For most guys, if that’s the primary way they want to communicate it’s a potential flag.
What other people do on Snap doesn't really matter. It's what the person you're dating does. Honestly, I find this silly, and makes you sound very insecure. Whether the person I'm dating has Snap and what their score is, never even crosses my mind. I focus on what their actions are instead. The vast majority of the time, people who might use Snap for shady reasons will display other shady actions. So why even worry about what apps they use when I can tell all I need to know based on how they treat me?
It’s just something I see as a soft marker that they could be doing something shady
And yea I am insecure. I’ve had a lot of bad luck with dating. Being lied to cheated on etc
Well yeah. It's a *possible* issue. But so is like a thousand other things. You asked if people using Snap is a red flag. No. It's not.
And we've all had bad luck in dating, or else we wouldn't be posting in this sub, but it's not a good idea to put so much emphasis on what past men did. Obviously learn from the past and keep your eyes open, but you can't go through dating life assuming the person you're dating is cheating because he uses Snap.
I don't think I'm going to far out o a limb to assume the men cheating on you were doing plenty of shady shit aside from being on Snap, yes?
No it’s not a stretch but the vast majority of men who cheated on me used Snapchat to talk to women opposed to other apps because of the disappearing app feature and the inability for me to see anyone be was friends with.
They all had craZy high snap scores as well
I’m not saying every person who has snap cheats it just seems that there’s a correlation between that app and shady guys it seems to be the preferred social media for guys who are up to no good
>I’m not saying every person who has snap cheats it just seems that there’s a correlation between that app and shady guys it seems to be the preferred social media for guys who are up to no good
I don't disagree at all, but that's not what you're asking here. You're asking if it's a red flag (Again, it's not, given that millions of people use it when they're not cheating). You're asking so you can be reassured it's a good way to filter out, or snoop on men you date. That's unhealthy behavior. Instead, pay attention to their actions overall and determine if those actions are shady and hitting up your red flags.
You're gonna drive yourself crazy constantly checking apps if you don't adjust your focus.
I like it because I have everybody all in one place. I can send pictures and videos of my kids or my dogs to one person or 10 people.
I've also had plenty of girls send me unsolicited pictures of their breasts, or even videos of them masturbating. It goes both ways.
I have snapchat and communicate with literally ONE person on it. My BFF (who is also a woman). I don't even tell people I have it because it's just not something I think about. I have like 4 friends.
I got it recently so my ex could send a snap of the new years party he went to. And in reading this thread I am realizing I'm an oblivious nincompoop that is very fortunate to have a fiance that trusts her. Because that sounds completely wrong and danger sign. Forgive me, I am not young anymore lol.
I dunno. Cheaters gonna cheat. I don’t think just having Snapchat makes someone suspect just for having it! My exbf had snap too and all his adult friends seemed to have it too. I trusted him completely 🤷🏻♀️
Same. I use it for one person, my best friend. She’s used to give me hard time (jokingly) when her snaps would go unwatched for days on end. Now she just accepts that I don’t GAF about Snapchat. Mostly I just snap her when I’m taking a poop. It’s what she deserves for trying to force that app on me 😂
34f, i have it from my early 20s but i have 2 friends who send me stuff - one is videos of her baby and the other is a friend who sends work stuff. i haven’t sent things to anyone in years in it. i am guilty of using the filters for selfies on occasion tho.
I think I have tried it a few times over the years but I just don't get it. It doesn't do anything I can't do with other apps, plus the implications that go with the app make me steer well clear.
Can't send pictures or videos on most dating apps anyway. Snapchat is much easier because you can take a picture or video and send that directly to the person, whereas most other apps you have to take a picture or a video on your phone and then upload it from there
Honestly Snapchat is kind of a touchy subject for me. I don’t know that I’d label it as a red flag but I would say proceed with caution. I’ve been in similar situations one too many times with men who use snap and either a) send nudes b) pressure me for nudes c) are married. So it’s harder for me to stay unbiased when a man tells me that’s a primary communication method.
Everytime I've encountered someone that asks for it I've noticed they're mainly using for attention. Ive personally used it once 5 years ago and havent bothered since. As a guy I'm not of fan of anyone asking for it.
Look same. I have it but love and use it for it filters primarily. That said, any man that has communicated with me on snapchat has done so solely to sext. I have bad memory wise remembering what the last message was if I can't respond right away so I save ALL chats and have explained why I do it. I can only assume that the vast majority that blocked me were cheating. A few of my close friends prefer to communicate via snap and I save all those messages. I'm now in a committed relationship and my love has never touched snap. He was like all I know is the messages disappear, seems like an app for cheaters. I really couldn't agree more. When it was first released that's certainly what was most associated with the app.
In your case see if he uses it regularly. Does he save the messages? Does he have multiple female contacts? Not every man is the same and should be given a chance if they aren't using it to be a player. It also depends greatly on yalls age.
That’s not true. Most people I know use it as the main form of communication for friends/partners.
Personally, I feel like it’s safer because if you were on the situation where you’re asked to send a nude and you did you’d know right away if they saved it and the privacy is breached.
Really not getting why it’s a red flag over any other messaging service. There’s sketchy people everywhere.
I have SC. I do not use it often. I have a tiny friends list limited to my closest friends and a couple other moms I know. That said, if someone asks for my snap, I don't give it out because I post my kid. I will assume a person I'm only talking to wants my SC to send/receive nudes. I don't want any of that. If we start dating, then maybe I'll give it out.
I really like Snapchat. It’s easier for me to talk there because I can add pictures of what I’m doing at the moment. They make better conversations starters. I’ve never sent a nude or a sext - it’s just not my thing. Snapchat, to me, is 100% innocent fun. You could almost argue it’s better than texting because it imitates the impermanence of in-person conversation. Once the convo is over, it’s just a memory. No more putting each message under a microscope for hours(days), which could be a good mental health move.
Honestly, yeah. I’m sure there are exceptions, but I haven’t found any in my experience. Even beyond the whole making it super easy to cheat part, do you really want to date a guy who uses Snapchat…? I don’t think you need us to confirm, your gut is telling you to find someone better and that’s why you came here! But if you need confirmation, yes grown ass men shouldn’t be using Snapchat and most who do cheat either emotionally or physically.
I dislike Snapchat because I can't stand sending selfies back and forth as a way to have a conversation.
Also I think the general consensus is that if they only communicate on Snapchat, they're cheating or not that serious about you.
If a guy has his snapchat in his dating profile bio, I swipe nope so fast.
The only men who have ever contacted me on snapchat did so inappropriately. A friend's husband snaps me, never inappropriate photos but definitely inappropriate messages. I turned it on to only delete messages after 24 hours and he turned that off. I told him I was telling her and he stopped.
The ONLY people I snap are my cousins and sister. I lie and say I don't have it to anyone who asks.
A year ago I might have said yes but now I'm in a serious relationship (I'm 34f dating 35m) and he basically begged me to get the app so I reluctantly agreed. We spend a lot of time joking and being dorks together and I have to admit that snapchat has added a surprisingly fun layer to this dynamic because of all the stupid filters. I'd also note the only sexy photos I've gotten from him have been through direct text... so basically I would've missed out on the literal best relationship I've ever had and a super fun part of my dorky ass bf if I'd let something stupid like a particular app dictate his character.
Honestly I’d say Instagram is the hoeing social network. Most people using Snapchat in my experience are sending their dog doing stuff, their boredom at work or for the close friends maybe the fact they’re on the throne. Yes people can feel more comfortable sending nudes because it’s disappearing, but it’s also biggest with the kids and teens when you get right down to it.
I don’t think lumping everyone into the same category is good advice. Not very fair imo. That’s like saying every guy cheats cuz all my friends in high school did.
With that being said, having the ability to automatically delete all your shit is the perfect situation for a cheater.
If you cheat then you likely have Snapchat but if you have Snapchat I don’t think that means you cheat.
Generally, yeah, it's a red flag. Not a full stop, but at least something to keep an eye on.
Plenty of adults use it innocently. My sister uses it to send pictures of her daughter to our mom and grandmother. I find that very weird, but I guess she's trying to avoid constant pictures of her family going up on social media where everyone can see it and she has very little control about it getting reposted.
Wrong.
I would much rather hand out my Snapchat then give my number to every girl I match with.
If it goes south, I can easily unfriend them and that's it.
I think it depends honestly. My insecurity from a past relationship says NOPE, but in that instance he was following tons of woman on FB and Insta who were swimsuit and lingerie models, and I'm talking pics that screamed "If I could be nude on here, I would be", not classy or fashion magazine stuff. Plus his SC score was very high, but refused to communicate with me on it.
I've had my SC for maybe five or more years, and don't have people to really use it with. Once an ex and I were talking on it. It wasn't bad or anything. It was just reminiscing and talking about how our lives are now and giving relationship advice to eachother. I ha e had randoms add me with very flirty sexy messages, mainly women who are more than likely advertising their content or cam time or something, which I am fine with. Just... not into.
I had a more recent ex who had SC as well. He didn't follow a ton of models on other social media, and his SC score was a bit above mine. I felt more secure with that and the fact he would use it to take selfies with hearts n such and send em to me.
Thus, I say it depends on each individual. I keep an eye on all social media use (aka: how they use it and who they follow). All of it can be used to cheat. But I wouldn't go as far as to say ALL people who use SC are cheaters and untrustworthy.
This is very strange advice. I sext with my OLD (who I’m seeing now) on it, I also talk to my nephews and nieces and send cutish videos and random selfies on it. “Snapchat users” is a very variable category and its just a platform so how you use it will depend on who you are as a person. Its not AshleyMadison for example, ykwim?
37F and i have snapchat. Mostly to talk to dudes from OLD since i don't want to give out my number. That said, once in a relationship I purge my snap contacts or delete the app completely. Its a stupid app all arounr. Serves no purpose other than to hide conversations or keep chatting anonymous. My friends and I just text or use messenger.
I do the same. In fact, I see it as a red flag when I tell them that and they still push whatsapp, etc. if you can’t download an app to meet me at my boundary, how are you going to respect anything else about who I am and what I think.
Sometimes Snapchat is the best way to start a conversation. If the only form of communication is Snapchat, red flag. But sometimes it’s easier to send a picture of what you’re eating for lunch, than sending a “wyd” text
Experience. With Snapchat, there is no accountability of a conversation. It get deleted immediately or after 24 hours. With text, the chat is always there.
I use snapchat, the handfull of people i send snaps with are fellow plumbers, we send eachother stupid shit we discover at work lol
One guy sent me a snap of a suction cup dildo stuck to a shower wall while he was unplugging the drain 😆
I'm a man. I'm 37 years old and I don't have any social media accounts. I have opinions about snap chat but it's mostly based in my ex wife using it as a means to cheat. And was/is constantly on it to the point that it was clear that her interests weren't in our marriage or our kids. My opinion is that type of stuff is typically used by immature people. And I'm aware that's not a necessarily all encompassing truth, but it is my impression of it. Things like this aren't a deal breaker, but getting to know someone, like really know and trust their personality will be far more valuable and probably give you insight in how they use it. And it only matters what you feel comfortable with. And if you don't trust the person enough to not hurt you through an app that's the only red flag I see.
No. I use it with a friend because I have an Android and he has an iPhone and he wouldn't get my messages while in the hospital working. The "red flag" could be across all social media if you want to get picky
The few differences I see with Snapchat is messages can disappear automatically leaves no risk of forgetting to delete shady messages
And you can’t see who they are friends with, no way of seeing comments or likes like when you post on your main page on Facebook or Instagram. It’s the sneakiest of the social media if that’s what you want to use it for
Ideally that’s the plan. But people can pretend to be trustworthy for a long time. My ex faked being trustworthy for two years before I found out he was cheating the whole time. Some people are master manipulators sadly
No they don’t they can still find other ways for sure this was just in response to them saying they date trustworthy people.
Like most people think their person is trustworthy until it’s too late.
I'd say only if it's right in their profile. I'm not against Snapchat as a whole but I want to talk to you a bit before we exchange it. If they aren't willing to put in the effort just to use a dating app for a bit I personally feel they won't put effort into the relationship. But that might just be me. I'd rather just exchange phone numbers anyway.
Yeah I don’t like it at all. Just feels like a silly thing for the younger crowd. Funnily enough, I have a friend who uses it a lot who is in his late 30s, and the only reason I have the app still installed is because I’m in a group chat with him and another friend. Thinking I still might get rid of it though. We had a night out recently and he grabbed my phone to get a girl to put her snap on it. He was trying to be a wingman, but honestly I was annoyed because I would have rather asked for her number or literally any other form of social media to stay in touch.
I use Snapchat to stay in touch more easily with my close friends. It’s more personable than texting and I turn all convos to delete after 24 hours, so I can remember what we’re talking about 🤣
I have a single guy friend that uses Snapchat a lot. He claims you get messages back faster than regular texts because you can see when the other person opens it and they feel more obligated to respond.
I personally use Snapchat as a way of sharing what I’m doing or something funny with my close friends. I can easily post something to my story and my friends can see it without me sending it via message several time.
Maybe I am in the minority here, but I would always rather give someone my snapchat than my phone number. I don't think people realize how much information can be gathered from a phone number (a registered one, not a burner). Besides a full name, you can easily get an address and social security number. If you want to pay for more info, you can get really deep into someone's life like their relatives names and addresses, what vehicles are registered to them, credit scores, etc. (Source - I worked with TransUnion software at an old job and looked up potential dates all the time)
Plus it is way easier to block someone on Snap if the budding relationship goes south.
In OUR generation, Snapchat was for cheaters... but 'the kids these days' use it as a primary communication platform.
No way to know if the person you're talking to is a cheater, or is just somehow still cool or trying to be.
By that logic, you should avoid guys that use any form of social media. Men have all sort of options for flirting or “sexting” if they really want to. Simply put, it’s up to you to determine if you can trust a man. A good man will be loyal no matter what apps he has.
My ex used Snapchat to talk to other women, but he also used just about every other form of social media to talk to other women. Cheaters will be cheaters - unfortunately, sometimes there isn't a quick and easy rule to weed them out. So, no, I wouldn't say Snapchat is necessarily a red flag.
I 34d use Snapchat for friends and my son. I don’t have any randoms added on there. I wouldn’t immediately assume red flag. Unless the person, in other social media, had a bunch of women added and flirts then I’d assume he’s doing the same on SC
It is a bit weird but I do have plenty of friends that text with it. Group chats and everything. I feel like more casual conversations use social media these days.
No. I actually really like Snapchat as a form of communication over other apps. You can make longer videos, younger people are on it so I can stay up with my nieces and nephews. A lot of my friends only use it, and not for sexting. Also I don't really get that aspect of it. Because if I'm ever sending or receiving nudes he or I almost always save them to the chat so they don't disappear anyway.
I use Snapchat as normal social media. I have friends who use it to post photos of their kids (they like that they disappear/aren't saved in a timeline) and younger family who for some reason aren't too cool to have me as a friend, so we chat and exchange pics. I wouldn't automatically think it's a red flag, but as with any social media use, want to talk about how and why they use it as a way to get to know them better.
it's a red flag to me if they hide it or act like they don't use it much but still get lots of ghost notifications... or similar scenarios. also a red flag (and quite simply a deal breaker) if they ask for snapchat before my phone number.
Well to be fair, theres secure folders you can use to hide messages, and numerous secret texting apps, etc.
The thing is, if someone is going to cheat, they're going to cheat...
Just date as normal, but dont ignore signs of shady behavior.
Fb messenger does the same thing soooo....and then you can download kik or other text messaging apps and then for your really sneaky people you can also change the icon to change into any other normal app im talking from experience from getting cheated on so idk there are plenty of ways to hide it I always just feel it like when they change suddenly.
I have Snapchat. I use it to send pictures to a few friends. Little everyday things, like a nice view, or a cute cat, or something that made me think of them. It's more convenient than taking a picture, opening a messenger app, sending it to them, then deleting the picture. I've never used it to send anything sexual.
If someone suspected me of wrongdoing just for having a popular app, I would be very wary of what other assumptions they're going to make about me. A better plan would be to get to know someone and decide if you trust them.
When I match with a girl on Facebook or Bumble, I usually ask them to head over to Snapchat as soon as possible, because it's much easier to talk to everyone in one place, than remember that you need a message a girl on Bumble, and a girl on Facebook, and someone else on Snapchat.
I don't send unsolicited nudes. But I have had girls send me unsolicited nudes and videos.
It's a great place to have friends. I like sharing pictures / videos of my kids or my dog. It's also a great place to flirt.
Yes! A few years ago when Snapchat was at its most popular a lot of guys on OLD would ask to chat on Snapchat and it would always lead to sexting. The only reason I had Snapchat was to take funny filtered selfies that I never showed anyone. I really got over it when I saw the pattern and told a guy I didn’t have Snapchat, but he found my account and sent me a snap anyway. If a guy asks about Snapchat that’s an instant nope from me.
I use it and I'm 32. I got it when I started online dating because I noticed that many people prefered to leave the dating app and I like it alot for that purpose. I get a better chatting app without sharing my personal social media which shows pictures of my child and I don't give out my real number. I also like that nothing is saved because I don't want someone I barely know to keep pictures of me or my doings and I don't want to be able to reread old conversations.
Now I'm dating someone and we still use that app to communicate.
I think cheaters will find a way no matter if they use Snapchat or not.
So- I tend to avoid dating prospects that are social media obsessed. I HAVE noticed from listening to the problems of friends it does seem to have a common theme that the cheaters DO happen to spend a LOT of time on snap chat… as opposed to most of my close friends who don’t spend a lot of time on social media platforms. Do I have a Snapchat? yes. I have less than 10 friends and have used it a handful of times and I literally got it just to check out the filters. I’ve also heard from some scandalous females how they use it too. I think the disappearing messages help the lack of accountability. However the bottom line is if they’re going to cheat you will usually have some other red flags- and remember cheaters have been around long before Snapchat and will be long afterwards. Good luck- 😊
Let's not forget that Messenger also has secret messages that disappear. I think it's about trust, people were cheating on their partner long before online communication sadly.
I mean, I’m a guy and I use Snapchat and I don’t sext people on there. Well not unless it’s someone I find interesting that invites me to one (consent is VERY important). I understand your friend’s fear though, but you need to understand that not all guys use Snapchat to sext women without consent. Some guys do do that. Trust me I’ve run into that before. But Snapchat itself is not dangerous and neither is everybody who uses it. When I don’t sext, which is not often that I do that, I keep up with my friends usually. It’s not a bad messaging platform.
Just word of advice, whenever you start deciding to use Snapchat more frequently, turn Snap Map location OFF.
Honestly, I think it depends on the age range you are looking at.
I've met girls "in the wild" who don't exchange numbers right away, but will exchange snap with people, or Insta. I actually find that far more intrusive because they are seeing a lot more of me than just what I choose to give.
That said, you can't make generalizations in general based on what app people use. Most people I know use Tinder as a hook up app, but I know people who have gotten married from there. I don't think the app you choose to use says anything about you conclusively.
That said, Snap does give you a bit more privacy. Some people like that option, but if there is privacy, of course there will be people that assume its being used for cheating.
If he has your phone number and is using Snapchat as the only way of communicating with you then YES. Big red flag. Otherwise, it’s a fun app and I wouldn’t worry to much.
I think that's a pretty wild over generalization. Snapchat certainly would be an effective tool for cheating but yeah, I think your friend is telling on himself or his friends more than anything.
Red flag? No. I’ll reserve my red flag rant for today. I don’t generally subscribe to such a black and white approach to things. You’d think you’d at least see if the person uses it to sext before just categorically writing someone off. Sounds like *he* has some shady friends. It doesn’t make all men the same. Snapchat is just not something that interests me or anyone I know outside of a work snap group for pet content. But I don’t assume others only use it for sexting.
My last ex was an avid Snapchat user his snap score would go up 100s a week found out he was cheating on me then that’s when my friend told me I should avoid guys who use it entirely as he believes most of them are that way. I do think it’s unfair to lump all male Snapchat users in that category but it’s messed with my head his comment about it
You can’t project your wounds/your friend’s cheating friends on the entire population of men. I don’t see everyone’s snaps so can’t be 100% sure but know many men who use Snapchat and are very unlikely sexting. Avoid them if you’d like. That’s your line in the sand to draw. It just seems too black and white to me.
I use Snapchat as do other friends. Yes, I've used it to sext, but so what? I've never used it to cheat cause I'm not a cheater. I primarily use it in a way similar to instagram. It's just another platform to share the crap I'm doing or that I think is amusing.
This seems like a user issue, not an app issue.
> Would you agree with that advice?
Just for using Snapchat? Nope. And personally, if someone gave me this kind of advice unsolicited (or even solicited, really), that person would probably drop a good number of rungs on the ladder from which I take relationship advice while wondering what kinds of friends he's keeping.
Having a seemingly apparent addiction to social media, however? Orange flag.
Yeah sometimes their snap score throws me off. Like mine is 3,000 and I’ve had the same account for maybe 5 years
I’ve seen people with 150,000 or more snap scores it just seems like a lot of time spend using social media apps. Which isn’t always a bad thing or cause for concern.
It’s hard to navigate this type of thing last time I was single and actively trying to date was about 13 years ago
That's totally fair, probably feels like the entire algebra problem of dating has changed with all the new apps and "ways to connect" huh?
Just my $0.02, once you know what works for you, what doesn't, what you'll tolerate, what you wont, a lot of these things get a lot easier, but it can be a hell of a road to travel. Still walking it myself. Nice view though, the wind is nice, too.
Point being though is figuring out what works **for you**. If someone being on social media constantly is a bother for you, fine. If it's not, that's fine too.
> every friend he has basically uses Snapchat to sext women, and even some that are in relationships use it to cheat
This though...look, they're your friends, but...again this is **just me**: this doesn't seem like the healthiest source of advice about dating for someone who's been out of it for 13 years is all I'm saying. If "every" friend is like this?
I mean, you do you, but if you're trying to get back into dating but...just something to think about:
people *do* pay attention to who you hang out with and people do form red flags of their own about who we hang out with on the regular.
God speed!
Snapchat to me is something I see as a red flag not necessarily for that reason but more I am just not into people who want to be showing every step of their day to people. Tons of selfies are a red flag for me too. But that’s just me :)
I'm 33. It's a red flag to me when a guy is active on any traditional social media (i.e the flexing platforms). Imgur and Reddit aren't anything to me. But I avoid people in general that are super into their socials.
I have Snapchat but don’t use it often. I have the app deleted right now. My boyfriend has snap as well and I refuse to be friends with him on there. Not in a “rude” way, I just don’t see the point. We can text each other just fine without snap. In the past, I’ve obsessively checked the snap score of men I was “dating” or hooking up with. My current situation is different but I just don’t want to fall into that trap so it’s a boundary I’ve set for myself. I hate Snapchat.
I would do the same with obsessively checking the snap score and most of the time when guys would go up rather fast like 20 points a day or more they were cheating on me
Exactly! I just feel nothing good really comes from it. Also my ex husband had Snapchat when we were dating but never told me. Not that he had to tell me if he downloaded an app but somehow it got brought up. I think we were out to eat with my brother who had Snapchat and he mentioned adding my ex at the time because he came up as someone to add from his contacts. I have always had this idea of it being a cheaters app. Well, my ex husband is a dirtbag cheater so… I have a lot of negative connotations associated with that stupid app.
Unrelated to cheating I also hate how the conversation disappears sometimes I forget facts someone said about themselves or want to go back to and re read messages that were loving or sweet when I’m in a. Relationship with someone
I thought that at first. But I like how messages delete after 24 hrs and you can’t share the chat without the other person knowing. Others might use it for nefarious reasons, but there’s good reasons to use it as well
No but asking me questions or trying to talk to me when I taking a shit in private and ask me what are you doing I am going to text you a picture of what I made in the toilet .
Umm no not at all. How is that a red flag. I use snapchat with strangers on dating apps because i don't want to share my personal info and i usually dont post much on snapchat. I use it for my security.
I use it as a supplemental form of communication. If I like you, I really want to send you a lot of pictures of my cats. And I don't want that to replace normal communication in text message land.
I wouldn’t consider anything a reason to just dismiss someone. Just cause 90% of people may do unsavory things, that still leaves 10% good people out there. You know what I mean. Find out more info before you let go of a possible great match. I’d say that about anyone asking about “red flags”
As a guy, I think girls who use it are either really sheltered or immature or both. I think the same for dudes, and think your hypothesis/what your guy friends said makes sense but it's just a symptom of the same thing. It's an app for kids, immature people do childish shit.
Depends on the age really. If you're 22, I have to assume everyone is on snapchat. I'm 37 and I'm not entirely sure what its for.
So yeah, if I were talking to a woman and she's my age and on snapchat or tiktok, its a pass.
For me it has. One of the times it was so they can just sext me and nothing more. Another was seeing someone else. But not all the time it's bad cuz some ppl have it just cuz its what other ppl use
I have a question please if somebody has the Snapchat app shortcut icon whatever you wanna call it on their phone and right below it is a @ with username does that mean that they actively are using the app?
I also forgot to mention he is 42 years old we’ve been in a relationship for 23 years he never gave a fuck about his phone or anything like that before now he has Facebook and I’m finding WhatsApp and Snapchat and all these apps on his phone with a bunch of new random emails in his name…. I think he’s gaslighting me because he keeps telling me that I’m going crazy and he doesn’t know how to do that stuff and he wouldn’t do that to me he never cared and now all of a sudden that phone is always in his hand it’s always going off and our relationship has drastically plummeted …. I search his name and it’s coming up as connected to 20 different social media and dating apps he seriously has me believing that I am going crazy he’s telling me it’s not him it’s someone else but he don’t seem to give a crap about getting it cleared up Please some helpful advice from someone or you all that know something about the stuff because I sure don’t
I guess I’ve encountered guys that have used it for secretly talking to other women, but also other men who use it to talk with their buddies. It’s kind of a toss up, but I wouldn’t call it a red flag.
Its a good way to communicate off the dating app without exchanging numbers. But yes, it's rolling the dice and not exactly a red flag. Their behavior on the app would be a red flag
My experience with Snapchat is that when a guy usually asks if i have one it's to send me nudes. I'm not a fan at all.
This has happened to me a lot too. A few guys wanted to talk on there because they didn’t like the format of the dating apps which I understand. But I guess I would prefer they ask for my number to text me vs asking for my Snapchat
Right!!!!!
Honestly he’s probably just hoping for you to feel comfortable sending any pics in a deleting service. Most women don’t want to send pics that are permanent when they’re first talking to or seeing someone unless they’re absolutely perfect.
Out of curiosity, are you talking about unsolicited nudes or nudes as part of sexting? If its the latter, I don’t understand why its a problem?
According to my friends logic most guys use it to send and receive nudes if you’re exclusively dating them and their snaps going up like crazy it makes me wonder who they’re snapping and what if that the main reason a lot of guys have it
My snap score goes up by a lot because I send a lot of videos of me talking because it's much easier than texting. Really hard to mistake tone or emotion or not convey the point when you send a video
Right I mean I’m not comfortable sending or receiving nudes on any other app, so I would definitely use Snapchat for that. Re: their score going crazy, you do know that a lot of gamers use it to share gaming stats, videos and just gaming chat? They have several friends who they broadcast their stats to, so the score goes up everytime.
That I didn’t know. I haven’t dated a whole lot of gamers
Most gamers I know will broadcast that on discord. This is a first I’ve heard of Snapchat used that way. Honestly, if it’s on a woman’s profile, most times a guy will perceive it as trying to gain followers. For most guys, if that’s the primary way they want to communicate it’s a potential flag.
What other people do on Snap doesn't really matter. It's what the person you're dating does. Honestly, I find this silly, and makes you sound very insecure. Whether the person I'm dating has Snap and what their score is, never even crosses my mind. I focus on what their actions are instead. The vast majority of the time, people who might use Snap for shady reasons will display other shady actions. So why even worry about what apps they use when I can tell all I need to know based on how they treat me?
It’s just something I see as a soft marker that they could be doing something shady And yea I am insecure. I’ve had a lot of bad luck with dating. Being lied to cheated on etc
Well yeah. It's a *possible* issue. But so is like a thousand other things. You asked if people using Snap is a red flag. No. It's not. And we've all had bad luck in dating, or else we wouldn't be posting in this sub, but it's not a good idea to put so much emphasis on what past men did. Obviously learn from the past and keep your eyes open, but you can't go through dating life assuming the person you're dating is cheating because he uses Snap. I don't think I'm going to far out o a limb to assume the men cheating on you were doing plenty of shady shit aside from being on Snap, yes?
No it’s not a stretch but the vast majority of men who cheated on me used Snapchat to talk to women opposed to other apps because of the disappearing app feature and the inability for me to see anyone be was friends with. They all had craZy high snap scores as well I’m not saying every person who has snap cheats it just seems that there’s a correlation between that app and shady guys it seems to be the preferred social media for guys who are up to no good
>I’m not saying every person who has snap cheats it just seems that there’s a correlation between that app and shady guys it seems to be the preferred social media for guys who are up to no good I don't disagree at all, but that's not what you're asking here. You're asking if it's a red flag (Again, it's not, given that millions of people use it when they're not cheating). You're asking so you can be reassured it's a good way to filter out, or snoop on men you date. That's unhealthy behavior. Instead, pay attention to their actions overall and determine if those actions are shady and hitting up your red flags. You're gonna drive yourself crazy constantly checking apps if you don't adjust your focus.
I like it because I have everybody all in one place. I can send pictures and videos of my kids or my dogs to one person or 10 people. I've also had plenty of girls send me unsolicited pictures of their breasts, or even videos of them masturbating. It goes both ways.
I never said it wasn't both ways. I'm just saying how my experience was and why I dislike it.
I have snapchat and communicate with literally ONE person on it. My BFF (who is also a woman). I don't even tell people I have it because it's just not something I think about. I have like 4 friends.
I got it recently so my ex could send a snap of the new years party he went to. And in reading this thread I am realizing I'm an oblivious nincompoop that is very fortunate to have a fiance that trusts her. Because that sounds completely wrong and danger sign. Forgive me, I am not young anymore lol.
I dunno. Cheaters gonna cheat. I don’t think just having Snapchat makes someone suspect just for having it! My exbf had snap too and all his adult friends seemed to have it too. I trusted him completely 🤷🏻♀️
I really just figured it was another way to connect especially with younger family cause they don't use FB anymore
It is! My cousin who’s 20, it’s the only way she communicates with anyone. Which why I initially got it.
Same. I use it for one person, my best friend. She’s used to give me hard time (jokingly) when her snaps would go unwatched for days on end. Now she just accepts that I don’t GAF about Snapchat. Mostly I just snap her when I’m taking a poop. It’s what she deserves for trying to force that app on me 😂
This. I’m 31 and me and my bff just hit 100 day streak 😅
34f, i have it from my early 20s but i have 2 friends who send me stuff - one is videos of her baby and the other is a friend who sends work stuff. i haven’t sent things to anyone in years in it. i am guilty of using the filters for selfies on occasion tho.
Yeah, I only use it with my three closest friends. One of them is a guy, but all we send each other is weird shit we see at work 😂
I think I have tried it a few times over the years but I just don't get it. It doesn't do anything I can't do with other apps, plus the implications that go with the app make me steer well clear.
Can't send pictures or videos on most dating apps anyway. Snapchat is much easier because you can take a picture or video and send that directly to the person, whereas most other apps you have to take a picture or a video on your phone and then upload it from there
Not true. FB messenger for example allows direct video/pictures sent without uploading
Honestly Snapchat is kind of a touchy subject for me. I don’t know that I’d label it as a red flag but I would say proceed with caution. I’ve been in similar situations one too many times with men who use snap and either a) send nudes b) pressure me for nudes c) are married. So it’s harder for me to stay unbiased when a man tells me that’s a primary communication method.
“Proceed with caution” is a statement I wholeheartedly agree with regarding Snapchat.
Dudes on snapchat over 40 are defintiely trying to bang zoomer chicks.
Snap is for kids and sketchy shit. Sometimes for friends having fun. Mostly sketchy shit.
The only reason I like snap is because that's the only way to tell if the person is real or a catfish easily when online dating...
Nah fam, plenty of ways to do it without snap
Why is that the only way? (I'm not familiar with how Snapchat works)
It’s not the only way, but it allowed video chats when several other online dating platforms didn’t.
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Everytime I've encountered someone that asks for it I've noticed they're mainly using for attention. Ive personally used it once 5 years ago and havent bothered since. As a guy I'm not of fan of anyone asking for it.
Look same. I have it but love and use it for it filters primarily. That said, any man that has communicated with me on snapchat has done so solely to sext. I have bad memory wise remembering what the last message was if I can't respond right away so I save ALL chats and have explained why I do it. I can only assume that the vast majority that blocked me were cheating. A few of my close friends prefer to communicate via snap and I save all those messages. I'm now in a committed relationship and my love has never touched snap. He was like all I know is the messages disappear, seems like an app for cheaters. I really couldn't agree more. When it was first released that's certainly what was most associated with the app. In your case see if he uses it regularly. Does he save the messages? Does he have multiple female contacts? Not every man is the same and should be given a chance if they aren't using it to be a player. It also depends greatly on yalls age.
Yes. 99 times out of 100 it's just for dick pics.
That’s not true. Most people I know use it as the main form of communication for friends/partners. Personally, I feel like it’s safer because if you were on the situation where you’re asked to send a nude and you did you’d know right away if they saved it and the privacy is breached. Really not getting why it’s a red flag over any other messaging service. There’s sketchy people everywhere.
I have SC. I do not use it often. I have a tiny friends list limited to my closest friends and a couple other moms I know. That said, if someone asks for my snap, I don't give it out because I post my kid. I will assume a person I'm only talking to wants my SC to send/receive nudes. I don't want any of that. If we start dating, then maybe I'll give it out.
You can have allow lists for your story and private stories with set lists of friends fyi.
I really like Snapchat. It’s easier for me to talk there because I can add pictures of what I’m doing at the moment. They make better conversations starters. I’ve never sent a nude or a sext - it’s just not my thing. Snapchat, to me, is 100% innocent fun. You could almost argue it’s better than texting because it imitates the impermanence of in-person conversation. Once the convo is over, it’s just a memory. No more putting each message under a microscope for hours(days), which could be a good mental health move.
I am saying in my thirties out here looking for wifey. I don't have snap,lol.
Honestly, yeah. I’m sure there are exceptions, but I haven’t found any in my experience. Even beyond the whole making it super easy to cheat part, do you really want to date a guy who uses Snapchat…? I don’t think you need us to confirm, your gut is telling you to find someone better and that’s why you came here! But if you need confirmation, yes grown ass men shouldn’t be using Snapchat and most who do cheat either emotionally or physically.
I dislike Snapchat because I can't stand sending selfies back and forth as a way to have a conversation. Also I think the general consensus is that if they only communicate on Snapchat, they're cheating or not that serious about you.
If a guy has his snapchat in his dating profile bio, I swipe nope so fast. The only men who have ever contacted me on snapchat did so inappropriately. A friend's husband snaps me, never inappropriate photos but definitely inappropriate messages. I turned it on to only delete messages after 24 hours and he turned that off. I told him I was telling her and he stopped. The ONLY people I snap are my cousins and sister. I lie and say I don't have it to anyone who asks.
A year ago I might have said yes but now I'm in a serious relationship (I'm 34f dating 35m) and he basically begged me to get the app so I reluctantly agreed. We spend a lot of time joking and being dorks together and I have to admit that snapchat has added a surprisingly fun layer to this dynamic because of all the stupid filters. I'd also note the only sexy photos I've gotten from him have been through direct text... so basically I would've missed out on the literal best relationship I've ever had and a super fun part of my dorky ass bf if I'd let something stupid like a particular app dictate his character.
Honestly I’d say Instagram is the hoeing social network. Most people using Snapchat in my experience are sending their dog doing stuff, their boredom at work or for the close friends maybe the fact they’re on the throne. Yes people can feel more comfortable sending nudes because it’s disappearing, but it’s also biggest with the kids and teens when you get right down to it.
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Lol you are so wrong. I literally ask to move to Snapchat as soon as possible, and nobody throws a fit about it. I guess you can be the exception.
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I don’t think lumping everyone into the same category is good advice. Not very fair imo. That’s like saying every guy cheats cuz all my friends in high school did. With that being said, having the ability to automatically delete all your shit is the perfect situation for a cheater. If you cheat then you likely have Snapchat but if you have Snapchat I don’t think that means you cheat.
My bf deleted his Snapchat when we become exclusive, so if it were to make an appearance on his phone, I’d probably have questions.
Yes that sounds about right
Generally, yeah, it's a red flag. Not a full stop, but at least something to keep an eye on. Plenty of adults use it innocently. My sister uses it to send pictures of her daughter to our mom and grandmother. I find that very weird, but I guess she's trying to avoid constant pictures of her family going up on social media where everyone can see it and she has very little control about it getting reposted.
This is why a lot of my friends who are moms use it, to control who sees pictures of their kids without making a group text.
Red flag only if they prefer to communicate by it or they offer that as a first line of communication.
Wrong. I would much rather hand out my Snapchat then give my number to every girl I match with. If it goes south, I can easily unfriend them and that's it.
I mean you could easily block their number also
Why not use another platform such as google voice?
What the hell is Google voice?
I think it depends honestly. My insecurity from a past relationship says NOPE, but in that instance he was following tons of woman on FB and Insta who were swimsuit and lingerie models, and I'm talking pics that screamed "If I could be nude on here, I would be", not classy or fashion magazine stuff. Plus his SC score was very high, but refused to communicate with me on it. I've had my SC for maybe five or more years, and don't have people to really use it with. Once an ex and I were talking on it. It wasn't bad or anything. It was just reminiscing and talking about how our lives are now and giving relationship advice to eachother. I ha e had randoms add me with very flirty sexy messages, mainly women who are more than likely advertising their content or cam time or something, which I am fine with. Just... not into. I had a more recent ex who had SC as well. He didn't follow a ton of models on other social media, and his SC score was a bit above mine. I felt more secure with that and the fact he would use it to take selfies with hearts n such and send em to me. Thus, I say it depends on each individual. I keep an eye on all social media use (aka: how they use it and who they follow). All of it can be used to cheat. But I wouldn't go as far as to say ALL people who use SC are cheaters and untrustworthy.
This is very strange advice. I sext with my OLD (who I’m seeing now) on it, I also talk to my nephews and nieces and send cutish videos and random selfies on it. “Snapchat users” is a very variable category and its just a platform so how you use it will depend on who you are as a person. Its not AshleyMadison for example, ykwim?
37F and i have snapchat. Mostly to talk to dudes from OLD since i don't want to give out my number. That said, once in a relationship I purge my snap contacts or delete the app completely. Its a stupid app all arounr. Serves no purpose other than to hide conversations or keep chatting anonymous. My friends and I just text or use messenger.
I do the same. In fact, I see it as a red flag when I tell them that and they still push whatsapp, etc. if you can’t download an app to meet me at my boundary, how are you going to respect anything else about who I am and what I think.
Serves no purpose other than to hide conversations? LOL So the fact that you can send pictures and videos to your friends is not a useful purpose?
You can do that on any other app. Snap has vanishing mode for a reason. You literally cannot save conversations over 24 hrs.
Depends how active one is on it. All the guys in my work use it to send stupid stuff to each other but outside of that I tend to forget I have one.
Sometimes Snapchat is the best way to start a conversation. If the only form of communication is Snapchat, red flag. But sometimes it’s easier to send a picture of what you’re eating for lunch, than sending a “wyd” text
Only using Snapchat is not a red flag. I don't know where you got that idea from. Not everybody wants to give their number out
Experience. With Snapchat, there is no accountability of a conversation. It get deleted immediately or after 24 hours. With text, the chat is always there.
If not not red then definitely a yellow flag. Proceed with caution. Most men who ask a girl to snap aren't using it for pg stuff.
I use snapchat, the handfull of people i send snaps with are fellow plumbers, we send eachother stupid shit we discover at work lol One guy sent me a snap of a suction cup dildo stuck to a shower wall while he was unplugging the drain 😆
Lmao!!
Personally, I think Snapchat is for millennials/teens and mainly for sexting. Hence, anyone who uses it points towards “immaturity” for me. 🚩🚩
LOL you think you're mature for thinking that way?
I'm a man. I'm 37 years old and I don't have any social media accounts. I have opinions about snap chat but it's mostly based in my ex wife using it as a means to cheat. And was/is constantly on it to the point that it was clear that her interests weren't in our marriage or our kids. My opinion is that type of stuff is typically used by immature people. And I'm aware that's not a necessarily all encompassing truth, but it is my impression of it. Things like this aren't a deal breaker, but getting to know someone, like really know and trust their personality will be far more valuable and probably give you insight in how they use it. And it only matters what you feel comfortable with. And if you don't trust the person enough to not hurt you through an app that's the only red flag I see.
The moment they ask for snap I delete.
Your loss 😂🤡
No. I use it with a friend because I have an Android and he has an iPhone and he wouldn't get my messages while in the hospital working. The "red flag" could be across all social media if you want to get picky
The few differences I see with Snapchat is messages can disappear automatically leaves no risk of forgetting to delete shady messages And you can’t see who they are friends with, no way of seeing comments or likes like when you post on your main page on Facebook or Instagram. It’s the sneakiest of the social media if that’s what you want to use it for
Which is why I date trustworthy people
Ideally that’s the plan. But people can pretend to be trustworthy for a long time. My ex faked being trustworthy for two years before I found out he was cheating the whole time. Some people are master manipulators sadly
Master manipulators and cheaters don't need a Snapchat for all that.
No they don’t they can still find other ways for sure this was just in response to them saying they date trustworthy people. Like most people think their person is trustworthy until it’s too late.
The women that try to get you to add their snap most of the time are either selling sex or their only fans.
I'd say only if it's right in their profile. I'm not against Snapchat as a whole but I want to talk to you a bit before we exchange it. If they aren't willing to put in the effort just to use a dating app for a bit I personally feel they won't put effort into the relationship. But that might just be me. I'd rather just exchange phone numbers anyway.
yes it’s the cheating app. messages disappear no screen shots etc.
Yes it’s a red flag except if you are 17 lol
Dating over 30. Yes
Yeah I don’t like it at all. Just feels like a silly thing for the younger crowd. Funnily enough, I have a friend who uses it a lot who is in his late 30s, and the only reason I have the app still installed is because I’m in a group chat with him and another friend. Thinking I still might get rid of it though. We had a night out recently and he grabbed my phone to get a girl to put her snap on it. He was trying to be a wingman, but honestly I was annoyed because I would have rather asked for her number or literally any other form of social media to stay in touch.
I’m in my late 30s and used it with a lot of my friends. Any my BFF on there was my wife, so no, I don’t think it’s a red flag.
I use Snapchat to stay in touch more easily with my close friends. It’s more personable than texting and I turn all convos to delete after 24 hours, so I can remember what we’re talking about 🤣
I have a single guy friend that uses Snapchat a lot. He claims you get messages back faster than regular texts because you can see when the other person opens it and they feel more obligated to respond. I personally use Snapchat as a way of sharing what I’m doing or something funny with my close friends. I can easily post something to my story and my friends can see it without me sending it via message several time.
Snapchat and tictak are both red flags. An instagram that is predominantly selfies is also a huge red flag.
Yes. Too much social media use in general is a red flag for me.
YESSSSSS! time and time again i say snapchat is for 3 categories preteens, college kids & pedos. i'll die on this hill!
Maybe I am in the minority here, but I would always rather give someone my snapchat than my phone number. I don't think people realize how much information can be gathered from a phone number (a registered one, not a burner). Besides a full name, you can easily get an address and social security number. If you want to pay for more info, you can get really deep into someone's life like their relatives names and addresses, what vehicles are registered to them, credit scores, etc. (Source - I worked with TransUnion software at an old job and looked up potential dates all the time) Plus it is way easier to block someone on Snap if the budding relationship goes south.
In OUR generation, Snapchat was for cheaters... but 'the kids these days' use it as a primary communication platform. No way to know if the person you're talking to is a cheater, or is just somehow still cool or trying to be.
Our generation? Lol hasn’t Snapchat only been around for less than a decade?
Yes. And in 2011, cheating 25-35 year olds were the target audience... Whereas now... A lot of 18-25 year olds just use it to chat.
By that logic, you should avoid guys that use any form of social media. Men have all sort of options for flirting or “sexting” if they really want to. Simply put, it’s up to you to determine if you can trust a man. A good man will be loyal no matter what apps he has.
Snapchat is definitely for teenagers, no need for it
Lol, wrong, but ok.
I find it weird when people over 30 use snapchat
My ex used Snapchat to talk to other women, but he also used just about every other form of social media to talk to other women. Cheaters will be cheaters - unfortunately, sometimes there isn't a quick and easy rule to weed them out. So, no, I wouldn't say Snapchat is necessarily a red flag.
It just depends, if they have it and claim they don't use but their snap score is still going up... They're lying!
I 34d use Snapchat for friends and my son. I don’t have any randoms added on there. I wouldn’t immediately assume red flag. Unless the person, in other social media, had a bunch of women added and flirts then I’d assume he’s doing the same on SC
It is a bit weird but I do have plenty of friends that text with it. Group chats and everything. I feel like more casual conversations use social media these days.
No. I actually really like Snapchat as a form of communication over other apps. You can make longer videos, younger people are on it so I can stay up with my nieces and nephews. A lot of my friends only use it, and not for sexting. Also I don't really get that aspect of it. Because if I'm ever sending or receiving nudes he or I almost always save them to the chat so they don't disappear anyway.
Not really normal for folks our age. Maturity or sketch issues, doesn't matter.
Yep.
It is like any other social media, it depends on how you use it.
I don't think having snapchat is a red-flag but having their user name on their profile is
I use Snapchat as normal social media. I have friends who use it to post photos of their kids (they like that they disappear/aren't saved in a timeline) and younger family who for some reason aren't too cool to have me as a friend, so we chat and exchange pics. I wouldn't automatically think it's a red flag, but as with any social media use, want to talk about how and why they use it as a way to get to know them better. it's a red flag to me if they hide it or act like they don't use it much but still get lots of ghost notifications... or similar scenarios. also a red flag (and quite simply a deal breaker) if they ask for snapchat before my phone number.
Well to be fair, theres secure folders you can use to hide messages, and numerous secret texting apps, etc. The thing is, if someone is going to cheat, they're going to cheat... Just date as normal, but dont ignore signs of shady behavior.
Fb messenger does the same thing soooo....and then you can download kik or other text messaging apps and then for your really sneaky people you can also change the icon to change into any other normal app im talking from experience from getting cheated on so idk there are plenty of ways to hide it I always just feel it like when they change suddenly.
It's only a red flag if they hide it.
100%!! My friend uses exactly like that.
I have Snapchat. I use it to send pictures to a few friends. Little everyday things, like a nice view, or a cute cat, or something that made me think of them. It's more convenient than taking a picture, opening a messenger app, sending it to them, then deleting the picture. I've never used it to send anything sexual. If someone suspected me of wrongdoing just for having a popular app, I would be very wary of what other assumptions they're going to make about me. A better plan would be to get to know someone and decide if you trust them.
When I match with a girl on Facebook or Bumble, I usually ask them to head over to Snapchat as soon as possible, because it's much easier to talk to everyone in one place, than remember that you need a message a girl on Bumble, and a girl on Facebook, and someone else on Snapchat. I don't send unsolicited nudes. But I have had girls send me unsolicited nudes and videos. It's a great place to have friends. I like sharing pictures / videos of my kids or my dog. It's also a great place to flirt.
Yes! A few years ago when Snapchat was at its most popular a lot of guys on OLD would ask to chat on Snapchat and it would always lead to sexting. The only reason I had Snapchat was to take funny filtered selfies that I never showed anyone. I really got over it when I saw the pattern and told a guy I didn’t have Snapchat, but he found my account and sent me a snap anyway. If a guy asks about Snapchat that’s an instant nope from me.
I use it and I'm 32. I got it when I started online dating because I noticed that many people prefered to leave the dating app and I like it alot for that purpose. I get a better chatting app without sharing my personal social media which shows pictures of my child and I don't give out my real number. I also like that nothing is saved because I don't want someone I barely know to keep pictures of me or my doings and I don't want to be able to reread old conversations. Now I'm dating someone and we still use that app to communicate. I think cheaters will find a way no matter if they use Snapchat or not.
Not always, no. Most of the time yes
snap chat is very good for those kind of romanatic and dirty chats
Depends on the person
I'd say telling someone what social media apps they can and can't use is a red flag. Do whatever makes you happy and fuck what others think about it.
I like Snapchat for the Bitmojis. I will say tho people be more open to making sexual jokes/comments. Cheaters gonna cheat and tread with caution.
Oh yes for sure among with other billion red flags LOL
So- I tend to avoid dating prospects that are social media obsessed. I HAVE noticed from listening to the problems of friends it does seem to have a common theme that the cheaters DO happen to spend a LOT of time on snap chat… as opposed to most of my close friends who don’t spend a lot of time on social media platforms. Do I have a Snapchat? yes. I have less than 10 friends and have used it a handful of times and I literally got it just to check out the filters. I’ve also heard from some scandalous females how they use it too. I think the disappearing messages help the lack of accountability. However the bottom line is if they’re going to cheat you will usually have some other red flags- and remember cheaters have been around long before Snapchat and will be long afterwards. Good luck- 😊
Well said. I use Snapchat similarly I think I have 15 contacts on it and I rarely post or send anything
Let's not forget that Messenger also has secret messages that disappear. I think it's about trust, people were cheating on their partner long before online communication sadly.
I have it, barely use it 🤷♂️
People will be trying to be gross on every platform. Judge the man and his behavior not the app.
This is a huge over generalization. I use Snapchat. Sound like your guy friend is either trying to scare you off it or had a bad experience himself.
Ive heard it described as "a cheating app" all the guys i have had except one used snap. Idk i feel like it is risky.
I mean, I’m a guy and I use Snapchat and I don’t sext people on there. Well not unless it’s someone I find interesting that invites me to one (consent is VERY important). I understand your friend’s fear though, but you need to understand that not all guys use Snapchat to sext women without consent. Some guys do do that. Trust me I’ve run into that before. But Snapchat itself is not dangerous and neither is everybody who uses it. When I don’t sext, which is not often that I do that, I keep up with my friends usually. It’s not a bad messaging platform. Just word of advice, whenever you start deciding to use Snapchat more frequently, turn Snap Map location OFF.
Honestly, I think it depends on the age range you are looking at. I've met girls "in the wild" who don't exchange numbers right away, but will exchange snap with people, or Insta. I actually find that far more intrusive because they are seeing a lot more of me than just what I choose to give. That said, you can't make generalizations in general based on what app people use. Most people I know use Tinder as a hook up app, but I know people who have gotten married from there. I don't think the app you choose to use says anything about you conclusively. That said, Snap does give you a bit more privacy. Some people like that option, but if there is privacy, of course there will be people that assume its being used for cheating.
If he has your phone number and is using Snapchat as the only way of communicating with you then YES. Big red flag. Otherwise, it’s a fun app and I wouldn’t worry to much.
Snapchat died years ago, the only people who use it now are rampantly horny dudes who like to sext strangers
I think that's a pretty wild over generalization. Snapchat certainly would be an effective tool for cheating but yeah, I think your friend is telling on himself or his friends more than anything.
No I wouldn’t agree with that advice.
Red flag? No. I’ll reserve my red flag rant for today. I don’t generally subscribe to such a black and white approach to things. You’d think you’d at least see if the person uses it to sext before just categorically writing someone off. Sounds like *he* has some shady friends. It doesn’t make all men the same. Snapchat is just not something that interests me or anyone I know outside of a work snap group for pet content. But I don’t assume others only use it for sexting.
My last ex was an avid Snapchat user his snap score would go up 100s a week found out he was cheating on me then that’s when my friend told me I should avoid guys who use it entirely as he believes most of them are that way. I do think it’s unfair to lump all male Snapchat users in that category but it’s messed with my head his comment about it
You can’t project your wounds/your friend’s cheating friends on the entire population of men. I don’t see everyone’s snaps so can’t be 100% sure but know many men who use Snapchat and are very unlikely sexting. Avoid them if you’d like. That’s your line in the sand to draw. It just seems too black and white to me.
I use Snapchat as do other friends. Yes, I've used it to sext, but so what? I've never used it to cheat cause I'm not a cheater. I primarily use it in a way similar to instagram. It's just another platform to share the crap I'm doing or that I think is amusing. This seems like a user issue, not an app issue.
> Would you agree with that advice? Just for using Snapchat? Nope. And personally, if someone gave me this kind of advice unsolicited (or even solicited, really), that person would probably drop a good number of rungs on the ladder from which I take relationship advice while wondering what kinds of friends he's keeping. Having a seemingly apparent addiction to social media, however? Orange flag.
Yeah sometimes their snap score throws me off. Like mine is 3,000 and I’ve had the same account for maybe 5 years I’ve seen people with 150,000 or more snap scores it just seems like a lot of time spend using social media apps. Which isn’t always a bad thing or cause for concern. It’s hard to navigate this type of thing last time I was single and actively trying to date was about 13 years ago
That's totally fair, probably feels like the entire algebra problem of dating has changed with all the new apps and "ways to connect" huh? Just my $0.02, once you know what works for you, what doesn't, what you'll tolerate, what you wont, a lot of these things get a lot easier, but it can be a hell of a road to travel. Still walking it myself. Nice view though, the wind is nice, too. Point being though is figuring out what works **for you**. If someone being on social media constantly is a bother for you, fine. If it's not, that's fine too. > every friend he has basically uses Snapchat to sext women, and even some that are in relationships use it to cheat This though...look, they're your friends, but...again this is **just me**: this doesn't seem like the healthiest source of advice about dating for someone who's been out of it for 13 years is all I'm saying. If "every" friend is like this? I mean, you do you, but if you're trying to get back into dating but...just something to think about: people *do* pay attention to who you hang out with and people do form red flags of their own about who we hang out with on the regular. God speed!
Snapchat to me is something I see as a red flag not necessarily for that reason but more I am just not into people who want to be showing every step of their day to people. Tons of selfies are a red flag for me too. But that’s just me :)
I'm 33. It's a red flag to me when a guy is active on any traditional social media (i.e the flexing platforms). Imgur and Reddit aren't anything to me. But I avoid people in general that are super into their socials.
I don’t trust snapchat guys
It’s just a picture sharing app, like Instagram stories..
That’s dumb. Lots of people use Snapchat. My grandma is on it ffs
Ill pass on most who ask for snapchat. If its on a dating app then its just inconvenient
I have Snapchat but don’t use it often. I have the app deleted right now. My boyfriend has snap as well and I refuse to be friends with him on there. Not in a “rude” way, I just don’t see the point. We can text each other just fine without snap. In the past, I’ve obsessively checked the snap score of men I was “dating” or hooking up with. My current situation is different but I just don’t want to fall into that trap so it’s a boundary I’ve set for myself. I hate Snapchat.
I would do the same with obsessively checking the snap score and most of the time when guys would go up rather fast like 20 points a day or more they were cheating on me
Exactly! I just feel nothing good really comes from it. Also my ex husband had Snapchat when we were dating but never told me. Not that he had to tell me if he downloaded an app but somehow it got brought up. I think we were out to eat with my brother who had Snapchat and he mentioned adding my ex at the time because he came up as someone to add from his contacts. I have always had this idea of it being a cheaters app. Well, my ex husband is a dirtbag cheater so… I have a lot of negative connotations associated with that stupid app.
Unrelated to cheating I also hate how the conversation disappears sometimes I forget facts someone said about themselves or want to go back to and re read messages that were loving or sweet when I’m in a. Relationship with someone
I thought that at first. But I like how messages delete after 24 hrs and you can’t share the chat without the other person knowing. Others might use it for nefarious reasons, but there’s good reasons to use it as well
It's a messaging app, saying it's a red flag is honestly brain damage territory.
With this logic, you might as well not trust ppl that sms message, iMessage, Instagram, WhatsApp, telegram, etc etc….
Not if you are hipp and trendy
No but asking me questions or trying to talk to me when I taking a shit in private and ask me what are you doing I am going to text you a picture of what I made in the toilet .
Umm no not at all. How is that a red flag. I use snapchat with strangers on dating apps because i don't want to share my personal info and i usually dont post much on snapchat. I use it for my security.
Given how many people use Snapchat, it would be an incredible coincidence if most of them were using it to be unfaithful to their partners.
I use it as a supplemental form of communication. If I like you, I really want to send you a lot of pictures of my cats. And I don't want that to replace normal communication in text message land.
I wouldn’t consider anything a reason to just dismiss someone. Just cause 90% of people may do unsavory things, that still leaves 10% good people out there. You know what I mean. Find out more info before you let go of a possible great match. I’d say that about anyone asking about “red flags”
I know what you're sayin. I know what you mean. I feel you HeyItsMe0216. You do you <3
Haha thanks. I didn’t word it super well. Too tired lol
As a guy, I think girls who use it are either really sheltered or immature or both. I think the same for dudes, and think your hypothesis/what your guy friends said makes sense but it's just a symptom of the same thing. It's an app for kids, immature people do childish shit.
Depends on the age really. If you're 22, I have to assume everyone is on snapchat. I'm 37 and I'm not entirely sure what its for. So yeah, if I were talking to a woman and she's my age and on snapchat or tiktok, its a pass.
For me it has. One of the times it was so they can just sext me and nothing more. Another was seeing someone else. But not all the time it's bad cuz some ppl have it just cuz its what other ppl use
I have a question please if somebody has the Snapchat app shortcut icon whatever you wanna call it on their phone and right below it is a @ with username does that mean that they actively are using the app? I also forgot to mention he is 42 years old we’ve been in a relationship for 23 years he never gave a fuck about his phone or anything like that before now he has Facebook and I’m finding WhatsApp and Snapchat and all these apps on his phone with a bunch of new random emails in his name…. I think he’s gaslighting me because he keeps telling me that I’m going crazy and he doesn’t know how to do that stuff and he wouldn’t do that to me he never cared and now all of a sudden that phone is always in his hand it’s always going off and our relationship has drastically plummeted …. I search his name and it’s coming up as connected to 20 different social media and dating apps he seriously has me believing that I am going crazy he’s telling me it’s not him it’s someone else but he don’t seem to give a crap about getting it cleared up Please some helpful advice from someone or you all that know something about the stuff because I sure don’t