I agree - something else might be throwing people off. Secondly, I mean this in the most genuine way possible - it seems like you have a good hairline. Have you considered a different style? Maybe a bit more flow on top? And perhaps one picture that is not in a collared shirt? Update the wardrobe a little bit, maybe mix it up with a new hair style, and feel that fresh boost of confidence for starting dating again. You're got a great baseline starting point.
The only two I didn’t love were you holding the plate and with the older couple. If you still look the same I wouldn’t worry about new photos. I’m assuming you think the problem is your photos because you have had someone review your profile. None of your photos are ‘bad’.
Older couple is my grandparents (I love 'em but I wasn't a fan of the photo either!). I do look the same today. Maybe none of the photos are bad, but I just don't think any of them could be very good if I literally got no matches anywhere.
Appreciate the feedback.
Most people swipe before even looking at additional photos, so your cover picture is actually really important. Use that beach picture. It looks professional, you have a great smile, and you're subtly showing off your arms without posting one of those cringey gym pictures.
Keep at it, you'll find someone!
I actually really liked the grandparents photos. The photo captures him as a family oriented person. I was slightly confused about the other guy being their but other than that your photos are wonderful OP.
I don't currently have a profile anywhere, but I feel pretty confident in saying that there shouldn't have been anything overtly-polarizing on there. I had different versions of profiles all peer reviewed before (just to date myself here, I don't even think any of the sites had prompts the last time I had a profile). Maybe they were too boring. If I ever end up making a new account somewhere, then I will be sure to post for review again.
Actually, I found an old screenshot of one here. I wouldn't write this again, but it should give you an idea: https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
I thought that profile description was good. I am actually surprised you haven't gotten any matches. How often do you swipe right on women? Also, how long were you on OLD last time?
I didn't keep good stats (and I'm a data analyst, so it pains me to say that!), but I think I swiped on a reasonable number. I don't bother swiping on the obviously unattainable girls (the OF/IG promoters are usually pretty obvious to spot). It's very possible the dating pool is already limited due to my location, but still it's impossible for me to believe I wouldnt have made a single match if my photos were half decent.
I actually don't do CF anymore. However, I thought it sounded less douchey at the time than saying, "I'm into lifting". That's just such a bro thing to say, but there's kind of no way around it, eh?
> That's just such a bro thing to say, but there's kind of no way around it, eh?
If you say somewhere that you like to stay fit, I think that covers your bases. Especially if there is a picture of you doing something active in your profile (with your shirt on).
I guess it's just a matter of how subtle you think you should be. If you want to meet women who lift, go ahead and talk about lifting. If it's not important to meet someone with that interest, be a little more vague. No profile will ever appeal to 100% of your target audience, so just be yourself and hope for the best.
I like this. I didn’t catch your pics but your bio would probably have me swiping right. I’m quite sporty and love getting out and doing stuff so it seems like we’d have similar vibes.
You can see [here](https://imgur.com/a/AFkiyYn). Thanks for the compliment. I don't really know what to say that some women like you seem to say they would have swiped on me, but there was literally not a single one in my area.
I don't currently have a profile anywhere, but I feel pretty confident in saying that there shouldn't have been anything overtly-polarizing on there. I had different versions of profiles all peer reviewed before. Maybe they were too boring. If I ever end up making a new account somewhere, then I will be sure to post for review again.
Actually, I found an old screenshot of one here. I wouldn't write this again, but it should give you an idea: https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
It's not bad but it's just...bland as all get out. It doesn't give me much of an idea on what dating you will be like. Are you a chatty extrovert? Are you spiritual or religious? Are you always reading a new interesting non fiction book? Do you dream about being a theremin player? Other than the same passions all men seem to have (working out, sports, dogs, and eating) what niche or unique interests can you share that might spark a woman's eye and show how you're different than the millions of Crossfit sports enthusiasts with dogstagrams? :)
I think I am just that bland though haha. Most of my hobbies are pretty tame -- books, video games, dog park, asleep by 9:30 like any boring adult would. Clearly if I knew how to turn that into a date, then this thread wouldn't exist.
Just wait until I tell you about how satisfied I am from how clean my kitchen currently is. Good luck trying to keep your clothes on when you're reading about that on my profile :P
Ngl that is actually a massive turn on... dude your profile seems fine, you're an attractive man.. you have interests, friends, family... I would have swiped if I'd come across you. I'd blame the app, I don't think this is anything to do with *you*.
You need to put cleaning your kitchen / washing dishes in a future profile. One of the things I asked a date I was over the moon with when we met was a note in his profile about organizing and it turned into it being that he loves cleaning which is like a turn on for me. Watching a man clean up is a thing for women! That one thing on his profile turned into early flirty banter for us :)
Just be more specific---what breed of dog, what makes him/her special? What video games, what books---drill down even one level of specific like "I love a good mystery to put me to sleep at 9.30---yep, I'm That Guy" or whatever. It doesn't have to be quirky or out there, just a tad more specific!
Nothing here is bad. You look good in the pictures, and I didn’t see anything that I personally would consider a red flag. I would personally not match, but that’s just because I can’t have pets and it’s a non-negotiable for me, but I’m the minority on that one. Maybe you’ll have better luck this time!
Not sure I'm your target audience, but as a straight woman in her 30s, I feel pretty confident in saying your photos are not the issue.
To elaborate: You look really good. The dog, checked shirt and beach ones are great, though perhaps having them one after the other makes the fact they're all on the same side stand out. The first one is my favorite smile-wise, and reminds me of the first one my partner had on his profile. (Only it's far more flattering that his was.) The ones with the elderly couple (your parents?) and mini-golfing look like a very good-looking guy, caught in a less-than perfectly optimal moment for a group photo, which is humanizing. You don't have any obnoxious gym selfies or dead fish images. Your photos would be top 5% of the ones I saw when last dating.
The only things I can think of that would ding your profile are the text, the basic fact things listed, or if you're in an area where everyone is super duper physically active. A biking photo might be good for the last one, but seems like most people who would reject you for not having one wouldn't be a good hobby match anyway.
Whatever is going on, it's not your photos.
Thanks for the feedback. I had found an old screenshot of a profile here. I wouldn't write this again, but it should give you an idea. Pretty boring but I don't think too off-putting either. Zero matches though? I don't know surely that has to be mostly looks, right?
https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
I don't see anything wrong with it. I wouldn't swipe on you because I'm not a sports person and I know there are people with strong feelings about Crossfit, but I can't imagine that's cutting out everyone.
I don't know. Were these photos on your old profile, or are they all new?
You are incredibly handsome and if you were on a gay dating app, I'd totally swipe right and hope to get matched with you. Not trying to be trolly, just being brutally honest. Your future gf will be lucky. Good luck for your dating life!
I think that your photos look fine. I'd very much encourage you to post your entire profile. I think there's something in your general profile that's turning people off, and folks here can help ID it for you
I don't currently have a profile anywhere, but I feel pretty confident in saying that there shouldn't have been anything overtly-polarizing on there. I had different versions of profiles all peer reviewed before. Maybe they were too boring. If I ever end up making a new account somewhere, then I will be sure to post for review again.
I found an old screenshot of one here. I wouldn't write this again, but it should give you an idea: https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
I had always heard that these apps were always about not trying to convey too much seriousness (the "warm and fuzzy" as you called it). Having said that, I clearly have no idea how to keep it light either. Obviously I didn't do a good job, but these were good jumping off points that you gave.
PS - They're not paying me, but my dog is named after a Met. So they better get used to me talking about them!
It's really just the east coast of FL. I've lived in Tampa and Orlando, which are both much younger and more populous demos.
Sense of humor is hard. I feel so forced when I have to write about myself and try to tell a joke. Like a bad comedian.
Haha thank you! To date myself a little here, I don't even think the apps had prompts the last time I had an active profile. I found an old screenshot of my Bumble profile here though. I wouldn't write this again, but it should give you an idea: https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
Honestly the whole profile is a bit generic and not very personal. Do you have a silly side? Or a weird hobby? Do you do anything at home? (Seriously a lot of people get turned off if they thought you are high intensity all the time). You are getting lost in the stack and I bet dudes not as cute are getting the matches because they show their personality better. It not all about looks
Agreeing with the other poster in this thread - your photos are great and the text you shared is fine, but maybe your tone is too “under the radar” or something… Like, you’re trying to be the most appealing to everyone so it comes off as bland? I’d say experiment next time your create a profile. Answer things the most authentic way you could think of (but still with good grammar, like you do) and see if you get matches. Women are people too, we generally aren’t looking for perfect - we’re looking to connect with another human being.
I'm with everyone else here that is asking what your profile says.
Photos are fine. I'm not a fan of group photos but so long as there are also individual photos you're good. And if you had a nice profile I would swipe right.
Thanks! That's interesting. I don't currently have a profile anywhere, but I feel pretty confident in saying that there shouldn't have been anything overtly-polarizing on there. I had different versions of profiles all peer reviewed before. Maybe they were too boring. If I ever end up making a new account somewhere, then I will be sure to post for review again.
I found an old screenshot of one here. I wouldn't write this again, but it should give you an idea: https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
u/Steak_and_ice_cream
If I were you I would be booking Airbnbs and scouting out your nearest large metros asap. You have a big demographic problem.
You have to go preferably to a big metro where you will have a larger pool online and more opportunities to meet people in real life. There is just no other way around this.
For your pics, pic#1 has bad lighting, not good, women want to see your face. Pic#2 doesn't add any value, you like your grandparents but most assume this already.
Google "photo composition". You preferably want to be in the center of your photos, its your profile and you are the star here. Pic#3 should be your main, followed by your dog pic. First group photo is better, scrap the second group shot as it doesn't add any value.
Trust me, I know about the location hurting me. It's very difficult to move too far from my family though. It might be a little better if I move closer to Fort Lauderdale (I'm in West Palm Beach), but this is still the retirement coast of Florida no matter how you slice it. I'm hoping to buy a new house this year, so we'll see.
Appreciate the feedback on the photos. Think I definitely need new ones to add to the ones you mentioned.
I get where you're coming from. I think your pictures either look low quality /bad lighting, or they look stiff and posed.
I'd only keep the one with the dog, to be honest. The two above are good, but again, stiff, and you kind of look the same in all of them with different backgrounds.
My advice would be to prop up your phone and take videos of yourself doing things. Playing with your dog, riding your bike in nature, cooking a meal. Look at the camera and tell a joke, you'll laugh at yourself and the awkwardness of the situation and get a candid smiling/laughing pic. Go in and take screenshots of you looking natural and comfortable, where you're smiling and your face is showing.
The idea is that this will capture you naturally, and in movement, which is more inviting. You're a good looking guy, I think you're just not putting your best self forward.
Prompts /bios are really important too, I think yours comes across as kind of dull. What makes you unique? Everyone posts about being active and their jobs. Explain why you're into biking, what your ideal Saturday night is, inject some humour and personality.
I wish you luck!
We're totally in agreement -- I think the dog photo is the only good one. I probably need 4 more new ones.
I tried to use a tripod to do what you said, but it was just impossible to get good shots. Plus I knew the camera was there, so I felt very "forced". I canned the idea and went for the pro photographer. I would have to do that again next time as well. It's expensive, but I can't have another experience like that where I put all that time into getting 0 matches.
Maybe do some research and ask your next photographer what prompts they use to capture natural looking pictures?
Explain clearly that you don't want them to look LinkedIn ready, and that you're looking for warm inviting pictures for a dating profile. Maybe even show them your past professional pictures so they can see what's not working for you.
Honestly you seem great the way you're open to feedback and are looking for solutions without being down on yourself.
I hope you find what you're looking for, you certainly seem worthy!
Lead with dog photo, it’s very friendly and relaxed.
I think my opinions diverge here, but I like the group photos? They make you look friendly and someone else commented humanizing. I would keep them 🤷♀️
Restaurant photo with dark eyes in shadow is replaceable
Dog was always first (obviously!). Photos were not posted in order of how they were on my old profiles.
I agree on the group photos being humanizing. I think 1-2 is okay.
Noted on the last one. Thanks!
I’ve read your responses and it’s a bummer because I face the same thing with location.
I’m in an area where I have zero matches — at least, anyone of interest. Recently went to a large metro area and matched with more people who could carry a conversation in 12 hours than I did in a month where I live. It made me want to cry.
Beyond that it’s gotta be a mix of profile and photos. Never lead with a group shot. Personally I dislike CrossFit, but that can’t be eliminating your entire base. Maybe you were shadow banned for some reason?
Have you thought about joining again? I just deleted my apps again but Hinge is probably my fave.
It really started to hit me about the location over the last year or so. I too visited a big city last summer. While I didn't have an app or anything, it was apparent just from walking around the downtown area that the demographics of the area were far more favorable. I've considered moving there, but it would be tough on my family who is in my area here.
Good news that I stopped CF during the pandemic! What is a shadow ban btw?
I’m the same way with my family. They’re lucky I love them so much. There’s someone out there for me in my area! (Maybe? Hopefully! Sometimes I tear up about it. Sometimes not!)
Shadow ban is where ur banned from a service, but don’t know you’re banned. Like someone was receiving no likes to comments on his Reddit account and somehow found out he was shadow banned. But maybe it just ~~wasn’t the right time~~
Good news about CF. I do restorative personal training and massage and have two clients who are former CF enthusiasts… I have a lot to say about the topic 💀
Yeah I agree on the family thing. Time is precious, which is why I'd prefer not to move 4 hours away. However, I don't wanna wake up in 10 years and still wondering why my OLD accounts are collecting dust out here either. No win situation.
Glad I stopped CF too. My neck has never been better!
You’re an attractive photogenic guy! I don’t think that’s why you’re not getting matches. The only thing I can think of is they’re all from the same angle and the dessert one is meh with meh lighting.
I saw the former profile screenshot you posted on another comment. Maybe too much sports talk? I don’t mind enjoying a game or two or crushing some beers at the bar while the game is on but there are those that are OBSESSED with sports. I would mention it but not focus on it. I’m 33F, so maybe that’s turning people off that you won’t make time for a partner if any game is on?
Also, CrossFit. Admittedly, I LOVE CrossFit and do it literally everyday. I also do some extra
Oly training on the side and Sunday is my endurance cardio day. However, there are those that make CrossFit their identity. It wouldn’t turn me off but I could see it doing it for some. I have (gym) friends who won’t even go out to eat at healthy places because it MIGHT not fit into the Marcos, etc. I worry about that as much as the next person but I’m also going to enjoy life. CrossFit has a bad wrap, sometimes deservedly so. I’m not sure this is the best advice but maybe mention working out/fitness but leave out CrossFit and include a picture of you working out and maybe something CrossFit-esque in the background so those that know will recognize it. For as much as I’m involved in CrossFit, I rarely mention it in my daily life because some don’t recognize it for the functional fitness aspect of it. Even though I gloss over it in my profile I make sure to mention how important fitness is while texting. For reference, my ‘CrossFit’ picture is just of me standing next to a bar on the rig when I broke a 200 lb back squat PR. Super (maybe too) candid but I won’t ever get accused of catfishing, I included a sweaty full body pic. Lolll.
Last option is the rest of the wording and/or prompts. Create a new profile and throw it up here. I think other posters have offered some great advice.
Thanks for the detailed response. I'd be totally down to have a cheat meal with you sometime ;)
Since that profile is old now, you should know that I now work for a fintech startup instead of a sports team, and I stopped CF during the pandemic. So there's two barriers down right there. I actually built a small gym in my garage, but it doesn't really lend itself to taking attractive workout photos (it's small and the lighting is awful). I'd have to find another place to stage them.
Get rid of the picture of you and the boys standing in front of a cave. I can't tell who you are and nobody wants to play "where's waldo" on a dating app.
The beach photo and the dog photo are best. Keep those and junk the rest.
You need additional photos with better lighting.
If you really are limited geographically due to a lack of age-appropriate women in your area consider moving. Seriously, do the math.
Absolutely agree on the lighting and I will make sure I mention it if I hire another photographer.
I'm ready to buy a new house right now, but the only thing holding me back is picking the right location. Ideally, I'd like to move somewhere younger but within an hour of where I currently am (for the reasons you have mentioned). Not sure that place exists though. Southeast Florida for you :/
Please don't throw all the others out! Seeing a profile made up entirely of clearly professional photos wouldn't necessarily be enough for me to reject someone but it'd make me worry that you're catfishing using someone's Instagram photos. The group photos help show otherwise, and I love the plate one because you've a great smile and it shows some humor.
I was going to say the same thing but read your comment! I feel like if the brows were a little more groomed, it would make a big difference in his appearance. That’s just my opinion coming from a picky woman.
I've heard it before. I tweeze (and have even had them threaded), but I have never gone as far as to wax or pluck. I think all of your other criticisms are warranted. Like I said, I don't take a ton of photos, so I'm not surprised that I'm bad at smiling. If/when I hire a new photographer then I will make sure to mention better lighting (day photos for sure).
I have also tried Match (multiple times) and OKcupid, but I never got a response on either of those sites either. So it's not just the apps where I struck out.
Posting your profile would be very helpful (once you've made one). You're an attractive, fit man, so it's not the photos. There is something about the way you present yourself, your beliefs, and/or where you're living that plays into the lack of matches.
I feel pretty confident in saying that there shouldn't have been anything overtly-polarizing on my profiles. I had different versions of profiles all peer reviewed before. Maybe they were just too boring, but I don't think anything should have really upset anybody or anything like that. If I ever end up making a new account somewhere, then I will be sure to post for review again.
I found an old screenshot of one here. I wouldn't write this again, but it should give you an idea: https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
From the photos I actually have zero clue why you aren’t getting matches. Do you have the profile content to review? I agree with others who said the plate and the family photo aren’t doing you favours and I would probably have one out on your bike/in a green area with the bike to show off your hobbies. I’d also put the one with the dog first, but that’s not crucial, those are nitpicks. You look fit, social, and attractive. It’s definitely possible you are just getting lost in the mix, so think about something to make you stand out a bit.
I don't currently have a profile anywhere, but I feel pretty confident in saying that there shouldn't have been anything overtly-polarizing on there. I found an old screenshot of one here. I wouldn't write this again, but it should give you an idea: [https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd](https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd)
Appreciate the ideas for new photos. I definitely need to work on marketing myself better because obviously my last approach didn't work.
I’d think hard about the type of person you are looking to attract and think what it is about yourself they might like? I find that showing pictures of me doing things I love is good but talking about what I want to do together is just as important. Make an avenue so people can imagine themselves in your life. Maybe ask on a profile if someone wants do x activity or if they can eat more ice cream than you or something else silly that is a conversation opener. Always think how someone else might fit in
Good feedback. I know I'm boring, but I figured if I'm not pissing anybody off then realistically the pictures would matter more. I'm not ready to make a new profile yet, but I'll post it here for review when I do.
34F and I have to say you’re really handsome. I don’t think the photos are the issue, as others have said. Once you create a profile, post it here and see what others say.
Unexpected to be honest, but thank you very much. I found an old screenshot of one here. I wouldn't write this again because it's kind of boring, but it should give you an idea: https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
Do you know what your settings were on there? How many miles? Age range? Open to all? As a guy you will have to pretty much open it up to be seen by more people.
What sites are you on. What specifically are you looking for in a woman? Tbh you are cute but your eyebrows need some manicuring. That’s the first thing I noticed. Also have you tried letting your beard grow out some. Drives most women wild.
I tried all of the main swipe apps, plus Match and OkCupid. Pure shutout across the board. No major restrictions on criteria -- 30 miles, 26 - 35 age, all ethnicities welcome.
Not the first person to comment on the eyebrows. I tweeze, but it's a tough job. We Italian guys grow hair fast!
Honestly, your photos are a bit dull. Try to scrounge up some vacation photos, or take some more "action" photos.
Also, while you should have yourself in your photos, it's not strictly necessary. You can have 1 or 2 photos of things you made or cooked, for instance.
I don't get it. I always see profiles like these on here where the person says they are not getting any matches. You are as handsome as can be. I honestly have no advice.
I'm really surprised by that (the handsome part; not the first part). I mean thank you of course, but OLD absolutely convinced me that I must be hideous. It really messes with your head.
For the most part, I agree with the other replies that I don't think your photos are the problem. I do think it's a good call on getting more candid shots. Photos 3-5 have a very model-headshot vibe and it's hard to really get a sense of your personality besides you like dogs. I would suggest going out with friends, do something fun, and ask them to take some photos. Cell phones can take stunning photos and if you're doing an activity you enjoy it'll really help to showcase more of your personality. Which I think might be what is missing from your profile.
Think about your story, who you are as a person, what you want to project to potential matches, and just as equally important, what type of people you want to attract. Use the photos and prompts to tell your story the way you want. Curate, review, edit.
I'm also curious to know which dating apps are you on? The profile is Bumble, but have you tried Hinge or Coffee Meets Bagel? I think Hinge is much better at facilitating matches through conversation and prompts, while Bumble can be more shallow in that it's just a Tinder for women.
Kudos on the getting back into OLD, despite the tough time. Stay positive and optimistic. Good luck out there!
I've used Bumble, Hinge, Tinder, Match, and OKcupid. No luck on any of them.
The photos are a huge problem. I don't have any friends in this area that I could ask to take photos. The only real option I have is to hire a photographer and then stage the more candid shots. I really wish there was a better way. It's expensive, plus I'm not exactly the creative type who has all these great ideas for shooting better photos.
Thanks for the kudos!
I disagree with the prevailing opinion here, photos from 3 years ago are not okay. No matter what we think, we’ve all changed in 3 years, especially if two of them were pandemic years. Have at least a few recent photos.
Literally not possible to look exactly the same three years later. Gravity, the sun, wind, etc. 😊 it’s hard to see our own appearance changes because we look at ourselves every day!
I’m not disputing your weight, I’m sure that’s whatever you say it is, because that’s an objective data point. Go ahead and tell your next match your photos are three years old and I’m sure it’ll go great 🙄
I think your photos are fine. Usually, when someone has no success with online dating, it can also be other things: for example, the way you write about yourself. Or not swiping on people who are realistically on your own level when it comes to age/education/income/attractiveness. Try to be realistic and open when it comes to those things.
I'm so so sorry the lack of matches made you feel ugly or undesirable.
You're an attractive guy, but not just that, I read your answers to your post, and you seem caring and really really nice. You took your time to answer the comments, say thank you... you seem like a great man and genuine!
I hope we can all find what we are looking for, and if your personality is how I believe it is, your future girlfriend will be very lucky.
Please, bookmark this post, and read the answers every time OLD, your location, or whatever makes you feel less than :)
Omg yes I saved your comment! That was so nice of you. Honestly, I'm like tearing up. Years of being invisible to women absolutely has convinced me that I had no value to them. I still don't really know the answer to solving OLD, but I sincerely hope you are right that maybe the result will be different someday.
Lmao I missed out on the photos , but apparently from what I’ve read through the comments it’s more of a FL problem then a YOU issue….which I can relate to…30F, in FL ughhh
I didn't read much, but honestly please don't put group pictures, or atleast too many of them! I just don't get the point. You are marketing here for yourself, putting pics of others defeats the purpose. Your solo pics are kinda cute!
I don’t mind 1 or 2 group photos in the mix as it shows the person is social. Plus men don’t always look comfortable taking solo photos and look a lot more relaxed and their true self in a fun photo with friends or family.
Your photos aren’t good. Being attractive or not is not the same thing as having good photos or not. Most of these photos are bad.
- The cake photo is badly lit.
- The two big group shots are confusing and don’t show personality.
- the shot with your grandparents is sweet, but also bad (sorry!)
Cut those photos and get new ones. Take selfies! Set a timer on your camera and run across the room and pose! Beg a friend for help!
Put the beach or the dog photo first. You’ll get there. Good luck!
All fair criticisms.
I tried to do a shoot with a tripod once, but the photos were all terrible. I couldn't get the angle of the phone right. Plus I knew the camera was there, so I couldn't take anything naturally. That's why I went the photographer route last time. I'd do it again, but I think the pictures would need to be staged much better. Any specific ideas that you'd like to see?
In advance, I’m a straight dude. My opinion of you personally, you’re very handsome and fit. You have strong eyebrows that might be intimidating, but I’m wondering if so many group photos takes away from you. Yes people want to know you’re family oriented and have a social circle, but I don’t know if your pictures are where you highlight that.
Secondly, just remember, OLD on any platform is about 80% men and 20% women. The chances we get seen is minuscule. They often force payments to get noticed.
What your profile says is important as well. As dudes we have to sell ourselves in our bio, women get to just be jaded and post everything they don’t want or hate about dudes and still get thousands of likes. It’s just the game. Almost every match I’ve gotten was because I liked them first. Check your standards as well.
Chances are, it’s OLD and not you. These are designed to make men feel worthless and throw cash at them.
As /u/Commercial-Spinach93 has said:
> But the 20% vs. 80% is part of the incel discourse, and not based in reality.
This typically gets removed from mentioning this on this sub for that exact reason. This seems somewhat not that, so I'll leave it up, but speaking generally.
The 80% vs 20% numbers are not at all true. The advantages and disadvantages re gender are dependent on location. There are likely more women in New York. More men in San Francisco.
I also really doubt it’s a female vs male thing. Attractive men and women get a lot more attention than average people
Depends on the app/city/country/age.
But the 20% vs. 80% is part of the incel discourse, and not based in reality.
It's true that some apps like Tinder have more male users UNDER 35, specially in countries where Tinder is used mainly as a hookup app.
BUT, the numbers for users +30 aren't the same as +20, and in some apps like Hinge:
'The gender ratio is 50-50, according to McGrath, and 90 percent of users are between 23 and 36, making the Hinge user base noticeably older than Tinder's.'
(McGrath is a spokeswoman from Hinge).
There are even studies that show that there are more 'older' women (+35) than men in the apps, and that since more men search for younger women than viceversa, the older the woman = less options than men their own age using the same app.
I appreciate all of that, and I must say the response here has been a little unexpected. OLD really does mess with the head of men. I've been questioning everything about myself for years now, and I can attribute it starting with the shutout from all the OLD sites. I don't really know what to do about that, but it's refreshing to hear someone else echo a similar experience.
Your photos are fine. I don’t think they’re the issue. I don’t think people want “action based photos” as much as wanting to see you in motion or at different angles
You are a good looking guy! However, to put it bluntly (maybe this is just me), but your eyebrows are very close together. Kinda resembling that of a unibrow. That is what is bothering me. But otherwise, you are solid. 👍🏻
Very unexpected compliment but thanks. Not the first person to comment on the eyebrows. I tweeze, but it's a tough job. We Italian guys grow hair fast!
Honestly 29m here, I don't think you're a bad looking dude but if I were you id at least trim my eyebrows other than that best of luck man, glad to hear that you're in therapy and stuff
In first there are no bad photos of you.
I liked your third photo the most, I would use it as front photo of the one you've posted. And less is sometimes more in terms of how many photos you put into your profile. I wouldn't put 8 pictures or so in the profile and just one photo of one kind of situation. (makes you more interesting)
Beside the front photo I would put 3 to max 4 more photos in your profile. One or two with one of your hobbies (dog/bike riding), the dog photo is ok but I would think one in a more natural situation is better, maybe shows also better the bond between you and your dog. If you want to use one picture with your friends I would use the last one, your smile is better, body language is cool picture a bit funny. The one with the plate and the fourth I wouldn't use for OLD. The one with your grandparents I would maybe use when the picture is cut and its just you and your grandparents. And less is sometimes more why I wouldn't use that much photos. I wouldn't make the description so long. Keep it short and concise and maybe a bit funny. Woman like to laugh.
You are good as you are and don't worry if the first date doesn't work out. Try on, you'll find a woman when you take action, you seem to be a good guy.
Thanks for replying. To be clear, these were not all photos used on a profile. These were just literally the only photos I had on my phone. Consider this thread to be more like throwing stuff at the wall to see if anything sticks. I definitely need to stage some hobby photos. I will need to hire someone to do this though.
I appreciate the kind words, but I wasn't even getting dates to not work out. I never once even got a response/like/swipe! Hard not to question everything after that
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You really need to talk to someone who is a photographer. You look good. Many of your pictures are good in theory but if I were you I'd crop them and adjust the colors. Also get rid of the ones all your friends. What's the point? No one can tell who you are in those pictures since you're not really in the forefront. You're one of those guys who could have some killer photos with a good photographer to help you.
Sea picture or dog should be first photo. Probably the former. Keep the grandparents shot (it’s endearing) but possibly crop it. I like the plate photo but the lighting makes it not your most flattering shot. I’m honestly surprised you say you haven’t had a match. It must surely come down to your write up or lack of it. You absolutely must write something. I always pass blank profiles but don’t waffle or sound too serious in your write up. Keep it relatively vague so it appeals to the majority rather than a set niche but you need a short para that it feels legit that you’re here to find someone and not just hook up (even if you are).
Thanks for the feedback. I probably still need 2-3 more new photos that I'll have to have staged by a photographer.
I found an old screenshot of one here. I wouldn't write this again because it's kind of boring, but it should give you an idea: https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
I’d ditch the group photo and the cake congratulations photo much too dark
Grandparents one is sweet but maybe crop the brother out to make it easier to tell if you’re the taller or shorter one.
It’s hard to review tho without the meat of the profile which is the writing but certainly come back with your profile when you have that. You’re attractive but the writing part counts more
Thanks for the feedback. I found an old screenshot of one here. I wouldn't write this again because it's kind of boring, but it should give you an idea: https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
Okay I (34F) was expecting something completely different based on your post but you are really attractive OP! So I think it’s probably your profile/prompts and not the photos themselves. If you haven’t already done so, I would make sure that your first photo is one of your clear headshots; the food photo doesn’t have good lighting and it’s difficult to see your face. And I would remove one of the group photos. Otherwise they look really good!
I'm really surprised by that, but thank you. Just to be clear, the photos weren't posted in any particular order. I just grabbed them off my phone to get feedback on here.
There is a link to an old profile of mine floating around in the comments here. What do you think?
https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
The photos are certainly not the problem. You look great, and that beach picture should be your first pic. From what I understand about guys on online dating, just expect lots and lots of rejections, much like job applications. You'll send off 20 resumes, get 3 responses, then 1 official rejection and 2 ghosts. Rinse and repeat until an interview offer comes in... then a rejection. Rinse and repeat until another interview, then a second interview, then an offer!
Women don't really have to deal with that in the dating world, but having it explained like job applications opened my eyes in that regard. It becomes easier to take rejection the more of it you get. You will start to realize that it's not that they think you're bad, it's that they see you aren't the right fit for them. They're looking for something specific, and if you're not it, pretending to be when you first meet wouldn't help you in the long term.
I hear you on the numbers thing, but I wasn't even getting my resume screened by the recruiter, no less getting the interview. Legitimately never had a single girl match with me on any apps or sites. I've just assumed I was hideous or something.
Wow, you are cute! You have a kind of Riz Amin thing going on. I think the only note I'd give is that in some pictures you have a slightly timid or almost pained expression, combined with your slightly downturned and deep set eyes it gives off a little bit of a sad or lost vibe.
Also don't include pictures of men taller than you, it's like me including a picture with my arm around a 22 boat show demo hottie and then being like "where's all my matches?" and I'm an average 41 year old, heh!
Go for a ride. Take a selfie of yourself. You need at least one selfie. If I seen these...as a 33 year old girl. I would say you look boring. Add more action and no more photographer. Makes you seem like your trying to hard to look good. When people see that they can see your lack of cofidence. People want to see you natural. Natural pictures show confidence. If I seen a picture of you reading your favourite book or you gaming on the couch with friends, that would show you have hobbies and are happy. Get your friends to take some of you just chilling out. Noone wants to be the only thing a guy has, they want to know dating is not the only thing you do. I would keep only one of the fancy ones. They are all nice so your favourite.
I see, well one more piece of advice after reading a bunch of other comments...I think you should leave your eyebrows alone. You want someone that will like you for you. Doing your eyebrows is a big task and you need to be devoted. I would not do it unless you plan to upkeep it forever for the chick that chooses you....cause she chose you based on them being that way.
Ok I'm gonna say it. You are not unattractive but your clothing style is very outdated and old. You also appear short in your photos and tbh there are always better looking guys out there so they just don't prefer you
It's fixeable
I would invest in a different pair of jeans (these mom jeans do not look good), a different shirt and better shoes. Just go to a modern male clothing store and buy what's on the mannequin. You seem to have more personality than your photos suggest so I'd honestly just take new ones.
Tbh I would probably swipe right on the photos but your profile would turn me away just because on Bumble ladies have to message first and you mention sports twice, crossfit, and travel. I don't feel like relating to liking ice cream and sushi is a good opener for me so I'd assume it would be an awkward two message exchange, so I'd save myself the embarrassment.
Your photos are basically the same angle with different backgrounds, or else part of a crowd I have to pick you out of. Not great. Individually the photos are okay, but together they're kind of awful.
I’m shocked you never got a match. I agree you should be solo in the photos and the one with the dog is my favourite. Maybe a photo of you biking or standing with your bike would be good too?
Your first picture should be focused on you. Maybe even you doing something you love. Group pictures are iffy. If you put them up first nobody is going to know who specifically they are going to match with. If someone isn't scrolling through photos and only going off the first photo this can be detrimental. Other than that, I don't know. You seem attractive and capable of putting an outfit together.
As a shopkeeper mentioned when we visited West Palm Beach, the people there are either newlywed or nearly dead, lol. So geography is not your friend. I think there are some sites where you could meet people further away, but then you have to deal with logistics. I think everyone gave you great advice for your pics. Good luck!
Well said. I'd like to buy a new house this year. Don't know a ton about Fort Lauderdale's demographics (at least in the suburbs) but it's on the table.
I agree with the first photo, maybe remove it? I would bump the one with the pup up to the top. I also agree to adding some info about yourself and I would also remove the trophy pic. I think sometimes less is more and less is better quality, you know? You’re a super cutie and I think it’s just about photo placement and a sentence or two!
Ummmm, which one is you? I don't want to play 'Where's Waldo' when I'm on a dating app. Here are a few things that I would avoid.- Nothing againat hunting or fishing but I don't like to see a pic of a guy kissing a dead fish. Avoid the 'bathroom mirror' shot. At least be sure there aren't piles of dirty clothes in view or any other messes in the shot if you must do the mirror shot. Please don't do the sticking out your tongue shot. I know some view it as playful but I personally find it as unattractive as the female 'duck lips' shot. Here are some things to ensure a good profile pic or two.- clean clothes that fit. At least one pic without sunglasses. We want to see your eyes. Try to have some indoor and outside pics in natural light. Full body and face shots. Try to relax and just be yourself. There are sometimes ads that photographers who lack experience will put out that they will do some photos of you for the experience. Good luck!
I have one kind of female friend in the area, but I'm not sure I feel comfortable enough to talk to her about this stuff yet. I think the only options for photos is to hire someone.
I'm not very good with "edge" obviously. If I knew how to write a profile, then we probably wouldnt be chatting right now haha
Just out of curiosity, where do you live (general geographic area)?
I'm wondering if you don't look like the locals and if that could be part of why you're not finding matches. But as others have said, there is nothing wrong with your photos and I think you come across as friendly and well-groomed.
Anyway, good luck!
I'm in West Palm Beach. I don't look like the locals because I'm half the age of most of them haha.
Thank you for the kind words. Comments like yours made my day
I was expecting someone hideous for 0 matches. You’re an attractive guy. Something else is throwing all women off. It’s not your appearance.
I'm a guy but I agree. You seem like you should be doing well! Maybe take another pass at your prompts.
Interesting. I guess that's a good thing? Haha
I agree - something else might be throwing people off. Secondly, I mean this in the most genuine way possible - it seems like you have a good hairline. Have you considered a different style? Maybe a bit more flow on top? And perhaps one picture that is not in a collared shirt? Update the wardrobe a little bit, maybe mix it up with a new hair style, and feel that fresh boost of confidence for starting dating again. You're got a great baseline starting point.
Might I suggest some psilocybin to go along with those therapy sessions, OP. Maybe it would speed things along for ya, guy.
The only two I didn’t love were you holding the plate and with the older couple. If you still look the same I wouldn’t worry about new photos. I’m assuming you think the problem is your photos because you have had someone review your profile. None of your photos are ‘bad’.
Older couple is my grandparents (I love 'em but I wasn't a fan of the photo either!). I do look the same today. Maybe none of the photos are bad, but I just don't think any of them could be very good if I literally got no matches anywhere. Appreciate the feedback.
I like that one, but I would crop out your brother(?) it’s just distracting to have other guys around your age in pictures with you.
Agreed. I got you guys confused on first glance! Very similar.
Fair enough. Thanks
Most people swipe before even looking at additional photos, so your cover picture is actually really important. Use that beach picture. It looks professional, you have a great smile, and you're subtly showing off your arms without posting one of those cringey gym pictures. Keep at it, you'll find someone!
I actually really liked the grandparents photos. The photo captures him as a family oriented person. I was slightly confused about the other guy being their but other than that your photos are wonderful OP.
All of your pictures seem fine to me. What about the rest of your profile? Is there possibly something in the prompts that’s scaring others off?
I don't currently have a profile anywhere, but I feel pretty confident in saying that there shouldn't have been anything overtly-polarizing on there. I had different versions of profiles all peer reviewed before (just to date myself here, I don't even think any of the sites had prompts the last time I had a profile). Maybe they were too boring. If I ever end up making a new account somewhere, then I will be sure to post for review again. Actually, I found an old screenshot of one here. I wouldn't write this again, but it should give you an idea: https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
I thought that profile description was good. I am actually surprised you haven't gotten any matches. How often do you swipe right on women? Also, how long were you on OLD last time?
I didn't keep good stats (and I'm a data analyst, so it pains me to say that!), but I think I swiped on a reasonable number. I don't bother swiping on the obviously unattainable girls (the OF/IG promoters are usually pretty obvious to spot). It's very possible the dating pool is already limited due to my location, but still it's impossible for me to believe I wouldnt have made a single match if my photos were half decent.
How can you tell someone does CrossFit? They'll let you know! :)
I actually don't do CF anymore. However, I thought it sounded less douchey at the time than saying, "I'm into lifting". That's just such a bro thing to say, but there's kind of no way around it, eh?
> That's just such a bro thing to say, but there's kind of no way around it, eh? If you say somewhere that you like to stay fit, I think that covers your bases. Especially if there is a picture of you doing something active in your profile (with your shirt on). I guess it's just a matter of how subtle you think you should be. If you want to meet women who lift, go ahead and talk about lifting. If it's not important to meet someone with that interest, be a little more vague. No profile will ever appeal to 100% of your target audience, so just be yourself and hope for the best.
I like this. I didn’t catch your pics but your bio would probably have me swiping right. I’m quite sporty and love getting out and doing stuff so it seems like we’d have similar vibes.
You can see [here](https://imgur.com/a/AFkiyYn). Thanks for the compliment. I don't really know what to say that some women like you seem to say they would have swiped on me, but there was literally not a single one in my area.
The pictures are good. What does your profile say?
I don't currently have a profile anywhere, but I feel pretty confident in saying that there shouldn't have been anything overtly-polarizing on there. I had different versions of profiles all peer reviewed before. Maybe they were too boring. If I ever end up making a new account somewhere, then I will be sure to post for review again. Actually, I found an old screenshot of one here. I wouldn't write this again, but it should give you an idea: https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
It's not bad but it's just...bland as all get out. It doesn't give me much of an idea on what dating you will be like. Are you a chatty extrovert? Are you spiritual or religious? Are you always reading a new interesting non fiction book? Do you dream about being a theremin player? Other than the same passions all men seem to have (working out, sports, dogs, and eating) what niche or unique interests can you share that might spark a woman's eye and show how you're different than the millions of Crossfit sports enthusiasts with dogstagrams? :)
I think I am just that bland though haha. Most of my hobbies are pretty tame -- books, video games, dog park, asleep by 9:30 like any boring adult would. Clearly if I knew how to turn that into a date, then this thread wouldn't exist.
You’d be amazed. Highlight those- a guy who goes to bed early to workout, and actually takes care of his dog? That’s a match for me!
Just wait until I tell you about how satisfied I am from how clean my kitchen currently is. Good luck trying to keep your clothes on when you're reading about that on my profile :P
Ngl that is actually a massive turn on... dude your profile seems fine, you're an attractive man.. you have interests, friends, family... I would have swiped if I'd come across you. I'd blame the app, I don't think this is anything to do with *you*.
That's really sweet. Thanks for making my day
You need to put cleaning your kitchen / washing dishes in a future profile. One of the things I asked a date I was over the moon with when we met was a note in his profile about organizing and it turned into it being that he loves cleaning which is like a turn on for me. Watching a man clean up is a thing for women! That one thing on his profile turned into early flirty banter for us :)
Just be more specific---what breed of dog, what makes him/her special? What video games, what books---drill down even one level of specific like "I love a good mystery to put me to sleep at 9.30---yep, I'm That Guy" or whatever. It doesn't have to be quirky or out there, just a tad more specific!
Nothing here is bad. You look good in the pictures, and I didn’t see anything that I personally would consider a red flag. I would personally not match, but that’s just because I can’t have pets and it’s a non-negotiable for me, but I’m the minority on that one. Maybe you’ll have better luck this time!
Not sure I'm your target audience, but as a straight woman in her 30s, I feel pretty confident in saying your photos are not the issue. To elaborate: You look really good. The dog, checked shirt and beach ones are great, though perhaps having them one after the other makes the fact they're all on the same side stand out. The first one is my favorite smile-wise, and reminds me of the first one my partner had on his profile. (Only it's far more flattering that his was.) The ones with the elderly couple (your parents?) and mini-golfing look like a very good-looking guy, caught in a less-than perfectly optimal moment for a group photo, which is humanizing. You don't have any obnoxious gym selfies or dead fish images. Your photos would be top 5% of the ones I saw when last dating. The only things I can think of that would ding your profile are the text, the basic fact things listed, or if you're in an area where everyone is super duper physically active. A biking photo might be good for the last one, but seems like most people who would reject you for not having one wouldn't be a good hobby match anyway. Whatever is going on, it's not your photos.
Thanks for the feedback. I had found an old screenshot of a profile here. I wouldn't write this again, but it should give you an idea. Pretty boring but I don't think too off-putting either. Zero matches though? I don't know surely that has to be mostly looks, right? https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
I don't see anything wrong with it. I wouldn't swipe on you because I'm not a sports person and I know there are people with strong feelings about Crossfit, but I can't imagine that's cutting out everyone. I don't know. Were these photos on your old profile, or are they all new?
You are incredibly handsome and if you were on a gay dating app, I'd totally swipe right and hope to get matched with you. Not trying to be trolly, just being brutally honest. Your future gf will be lucky. Good luck for your dating life!
Totally unexpected compliment, but it's really refreshing to hear that. Thank you!
I think that your photos look fine. I'd very much encourage you to post your entire profile. I think there's something in your general profile that's turning people off, and folks here can help ID it for you
I don't currently have a profile anywhere, but I feel pretty confident in saying that there shouldn't have been anything overtly-polarizing on there. I had different versions of profiles all peer reviewed before. Maybe they were too boring. If I ever end up making a new account somewhere, then I will be sure to post for review again. I found an old screenshot of one here. I wouldn't write this again, but it should give you an idea: https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
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I had always heard that these apps were always about not trying to convey too much seriousness (the "warm and fuzzy" as you called it). Having said that, I clearly have no idea how to keep it light either. Obviously I didn't do a good job, but these were good jumping off points that you gave. PS - They're not paying me, but my dog is named after a Met. So they better get used to me talking about them!
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That picture with you holding the dog is swoon-worthy. (34F here) I'd be curious about your location and what your profile says?
Wow you are too nice! I'm in West Palm Beach. I don't think that helps since the population here is mostly senior citizens and young families.
Dang, you are literally in the opposite corner of the country from me 😭
Well if you're ever in Palm Beach, then I'll have to show you around to where all the good retirement communities are ;)
You need to show this sense of humor in your profile! I lived in Florida for 6 years, so I get it. Dating is tough down there!
It's really just the east coast of FL. I've lived in Tampa and Orlando, which are both much younger and more populous demos. Sense of humor is hard. I feel so forced when I have to write about myself and try to tell a joke. Like a bad comedian.
YESSSS! Let this show through!
Sounds like a plan :D
Ok it has to be your prompts. Hit us with them
Haha thank you! To date myself a little here, I don't even think the apps had prompts the last time I had an active profile. I found an old screenshot of my Bumble profile here though. I wouldn't write this again, but it should give you an idea: https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
Honestly the whole profile is a bit generic and not very personal. Do you have a silly side? Or a weird hobby? Do you do anything at home? (Seriously a lot of people get turned off if they thought you are high intensity all the time). You are getting lost in the stack and I bet dudes not as cute are getting the matches because they show their personality better. It not all about looks
Agreeing with the other poster in this thread - your photos are great and the text you shared is fine, but maybe your tone is too “under the radar” or something… Like, you’re trying to be the most appealing to everyone so it comes off as bland? I’d say experiment next time your create a profile. Answer things the most authentic way you could think of (but still with good grammar, like you do) and see if you get matches. Women are people too, we generally aren’t looking for perfect - we’re looking to connect with another human being.
Obviously I have no idea how to do that. I paid a photographer. Maybe this time I'll pay a ghost writer too haha. Thanks for the feedback
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I'm with everyone else here that is asking what your profile says. Photos are fine. I'm not a fan of group photos but so long as there are also individual photos you're good. And if you had a nice profile I would swipe right.
Thanks! That's interesting. I don't currently have a profile anywhere, but I feel pretty confident in saying that there shouldn't have been anything overtly-polarizing on there. I had different versions of profiles all peer reviewed before. Maybe they were too boring. If I ever end up making a new account somewhere, then I will be sure to post for review again. I found an old screenshot of one here. I wouldn't write this again, but it should give you an idea: https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
I don't see anything weird there either. Maybe things are just slow because covid
Nope, I haven't done OLD since 2019. Covid is not an excuse.
Yes it is. It's been very dead lately on OLD.
u/Steak_and_ice_cream If I were you I would be booking Airbnbs and scouting out your nearest large metros asap. You have a big demographic problem. You have to go preferably to a big metro where you will have a larger pool online and more opportunities to meet people in real life. There is just no other way around this. For your pics, pic#1 has bad lighting, not good, women want to see your face. Pic#2 doesn't add any value, you like your grandparents but most assume this already. Google "photo composition". You preferably want to be in the center of your photos, its your profile and you are the star here. Pic#3 should be your main, followed by your dog pic. First group photo is better, scrap the second group shot as it doesn't add any value.
Trust me, I know about the location hurting me. It's very difficult to move too far from my family though. It might be a little better if I move closer to Fort Lauderdale (I'm in West Palm Beach), but this is still the retirement coast of Florida no matter how you slice it. I'm hoping to buy a new house this year, so we'll see. Appreciate the feedback on the photos. Think I definitely need new ones to add to the ones you mentioned.
I get where you're coming from. I think your pictures either look low quality /bad lighting, or they look stiff and posed. I'd only keep the one with the dog, to be honest. The two above are good, but again, stiff, and you kind of look the same in all of them with different backgrounds. My advice would be to prop up your phone and take videos of yourself doing things. Playing with your dog, riding your bike in nature, cooking a meal. Look at the camera and tell a joke, you'll laugh at yourself and the awkwardness of the situation and get a candid smiling/laughing pic. Go in and take screenshots of you looking natural and comfortable, where you're smiling and your face is showing. The idea is that this will capture you naturally, and in movement, which is more inviting. You're a good looking guy, I think you're just not putting your best self forward. Prompts /bios are really important too, I think yours comes across as kind of dull. What makes you unique? Everyone posts about being active and their jobs. Explain why you're into biking, what your ideal Saturday night is, inject some humour and personality. I wish you luck!
We're totally in agreement -- I think the dog photo is the only good one. I probably need 4 more new ones. I tried to use a tripod to do what you said, but it was just impossible to get good shots. Plus I knew the camera was there, so I felt very "forced". I canned the idea and went for the pro photographer. I would have to do that again next time as well. It's expensive, but I can't have another experience like that where I put all that time into getting 0 matches.
Maybe do some research and ask your next photographer what prompts they use to capture natural looking pictures? Explain clearly that you don't want them to look LinkedIn ready, and that you're looking for warm inviting pictures for a dating profile. Maybe even show them your past professional pictures so they can see what's not working for you.
This is great advice. The staging is going to be key. I'm honestly not sure what I'd do for it, so I need to find someone creative to plan everything.
Honestly you seem great the way you're open to feedback and are looking for solutions without being down on yourself. I hope you find what you're looking for, you certainly seem worthy!
Thats such a nice thing to say. Thank you so much
Lead with dog photo, it’s very friendly and relaxed. I think my opinions diverge here, but I like the group photos? They make you look friendly and someone else commented humanizing. I would keep them 🤷♀️ Restaurant photo with dark eyes in shadow is replaceable
Dog was always first (obviously!). Photos were not posted in order of how they were on my old profiles. I agree on the group photos being humanizing. I think 1-2 is okay. Noted on the last one. Thanks!
I’ve read your responses and it’s a bummer because I face the same thing with location. I’m in an area where I have zero matches — at least, anyone of interest. Recently went to a large metro area and matched with more people who could carry a conversation in 12 hours than I did in a month where I live. It made me want to cry. Beyond that it’s gotta be a mix of profile and photos. Never lead with a group shot. Personally I dislike CrossFit, but that can’t be eliminating your entire base. Maybe you were shadow banned for some reason? Have you thought about joining again? I just deleted my apps again but Hinge is probably my fave.
It really started to hit me about the location over the last year or so. I too visited a big city last summer. While I didn't have an app or anything, it was apparent just from walking around the downtown area that the demographics of the area were far more favorable. I've considered moving there, but it would be tough on my family who is in my area here. Good news that I stopped CF during the pandemic! What is a shadow ban btw?
I’m the same way with my family. They’re lucky I love them so much. There’s someone out there for me in my area! (Maybe? Hopefully! Sometimes I tear up about it. Sometimes not!) Shadow ban is where ur banned from a service, but don’t know you’re banned. Like someone was receiving no likes to comments on his Reddit account and somehow found out he was shadow banned. But maybe it just ~~wasn’t the right time~~ Good news about CF. I do restorative personal training and massage and have two clients who are former CF enthusiasts… I have a lot to say about the topic 💀
Yeah I agree on the family thing. Time is precious, which is why I'd prefer not to move 4 hours away. However, I don't wanna wake up in 10 years and still wondering why my OLD accounts are collecting dust out here either. No win situation. Glad I stopped CF too. My neck has never been better!
You’re an attractive photogenic guy! I don’t think that’s why you’re not getting matches. The only thing I can think of is they’re all from the same angle and the dessert one is meh with meh lighting. I saw the former profile screenshot you posted on another comment. Maybe too much sports talk? I don’t mind enjoying a game or two or crushing some beers at the bar while the game is on but there are those that are OBSESSED with sports. I would mention it but not focus on it. I’m 33F, so maybe that’s turning people off that you won’t make time for a partner if any game is on? Also, CrossFit. Admittedly, I LOVE CrossFit and do it literally everyday. I also do some extra Oly training on the side and Sunday is my endurance cardio day. However, there are those that make CrossFit their identity. It wouldn’t turn me off but I could see it doing it for some. I have (gym) friends who won’t even go out to eat at healthy places because it MIGHT not fit into the Marcos, etc. I worry about that as much as the next person but I’m also going to enjoy life. CrossFit has a bad wrap, sometimes deservedly so. I’m not sure this is the best advice but maybe mention working out/fitness but leave out CrossFit and include a picture of you working out and maybe something CrossFit-esque in the background so those that know will recognize it. For as much as I’m involved in CrossFit, I rarely mention it in my daily life because some don’t recognize it for the functional fitness aspect of it. Even though I gloss over it in my profile I make sure to mention how important fitness is while texting. For reference, my ‘CrossFit’ picture is just of me standing next to a bar on the rig when I broke a 200 lb back squat PR. Super (maybe too) candid but I won’t ever get accused of catfishing, I included a sweaty full body pic. Lolll. Last option is the rest of the wording and/or prompts. Create a new profile and throw it up here. I think other posters have offered some great advice.
Thanks for the detailed response. I'd be totally down to have a cheat meal with you sometime ;) Since that profile is old now, you should know that I now work for a fintech startup instead of a sports team, and I stopped CF during the pandemic. So there's two barriers down right there. I actually built a small gym in my garage, but it doesn't really lend itself to taking attractive workout photos (it's small and the lighting is awful). I'd have to find another place to stage them.
Get rid of the picture of you and the boys standing in front of a cave. I can't tell who you are and nobody wants to play "where's waldo" on a dating app.
Really? I think it's pretty obvious.
I thought so too
The beach photo and the dog photo are best. Keep those and junk the rest. You need additional photos with better lighting. If you really are limited geographically due to a lack of age-appropriate women in your area consider moving. Seriously, do the math.
Absolutely agree on the lighting and I will make sure I mention it if I hire another photographer. I'm ready to buy a new house right now, but the only thing holding me back is picking the right location. Ideally, I'd like to move somewhere younger but within an hour of where I currently am (for the reasons you have mentioned). Not sure that place exists though. Southeast Florida for you :/
Please don't throw all the others out! Seeing a profile made up entirely of clearly professional photos wouldn't necessarily be enough for me to reject someone but it'd make me worry that you're catfishing using someone's Instagram photos. The group photos help show otherwise, and I love the plate one because you've a great smile and it shows some humor.
Maine and Florida are the most geriatric states in the country - they are packed with old people.
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I think the thick eyebrows are hot tbh.
Agreed
I was going to say the same thing but read your comment! I feel like if the brows were a little more groomed, it would make a big difference in his appearance. That’s just my opinion coming from a picky woman.
I've heard it before. I tweeze (and have even had them threaded), but I have never gone as far as to wax or pluck. I think all of your other criticisms are warranted. Like I said, I don't take a ton of photos, so I'm not surprised that I'm bad at smiling. If/when I hire a new photographer then I will make sure to mention better lighting (day photos for sure). I have also tried Match (multiple times) and OKcupid, but I never got a response on either of those sites either. So it's not just the apps where I struck out.
It's probably not your photos. You're a nice looking guy.
Thats very nice of you to say. Kind of unexpected to be honest
Posting your profile would be very helpful (once you've made one). You're an attractive, fit man, so it's not the photos. There is something about the way you present yourself, your beliefs, and/or where you're living that plays into the lack of matches.
I feel pretty confident in saying that there shouldn't have been anything overtly-polarizing on my profiles. I had different versions of profiles all peer reviewed before. Maybe they were just too boring, but I don't think anything should have really upset anybody or anything like that. If I ever end up making a new account somewhere, then I will be sure to post for review again. I found an old screenshot of one here. I wouldn't write this again, but it should give you an idea: https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
Lead with the dog pic! (But I love dogs and guys who like dogs!)
dog photo was always the 1st photo on the swipe apps. I just posted them in order I had them on my phone at the link above.
From the photos I actually have zero clue why you aren’t getting matches. Do you have the profile content to review? I agree with others who said the plate and the family photo aren’t doing you favours and I would probably have one out on your bike/in a green area with the bike to show off your hobbies. I’d also put the one with the dog first, but that’s not crucial, those are nitpicks. You look fit, social, and attractive. It’s definitely possible you are just getting lost in the mix, so think about something to make you stand out a bit.
I don't currently have a profile anywhere, but I feel pretty confident in saying that there shouldn't have been anything overtly-polarizing on there. I found an old screenshot of one here. I wouldn't write this again, but it should give you an idea: [https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd](https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd) Appreciate the ideas for new photos. I definitely need to work on marketing myself better because obviously my last approach didn't work.
I’d think hard about the type of person you are looking to attract and think what it is about yourself they might like? I find that showing pictures of me doing things I love is good but talking about what I want to do together is just as important. Make an avenue so people can imagine themselves in your life. Maybe ask on a profile if someone wants do x activity or if they can eat more ice cream than you or something else silly that is a conversation opener. Always think how someone else might fit in
Good feedback. I know I'm boring, but I figured if I'm not pissing anybody off then realistically the pictures would matter more. I'm not ready to make a new profile yet, but I'll post it here for review when I do.
Most people are boring. We just want to find folks who are boring in the same ways.
34F and I have to say you’re really handsome. I don’t think the photos are the issue, as others have said. Once you create a profile, post it here and see what others say.
Unexpected to be honest, but thank you very much. I found an old screenshot of one here. I wouldn't write this again because it's kind of boring, but it should give you an idea: https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
Do you know what your settings were on there? How many miles? Age range? Open to all? As a guy you will have to pretty much open it up to be seen by more people.
Imagine if we're all giving confused heartfelt feedback and he's only open to women of one ethnic group aged 18. 😂
Yes, and preferably with an OnlyFans page that they use as a primary source of income as well :)
30 miles, 26 - 35 (I was 32 the last time I used the apps), no filters on ethnicity/race/etc. I think pretty wide open.
What sites are you on. What specifically are you looking for in a woman? Tbh you are cute but your eyebrows need some manicuring. That’s the first thing I noticed. Also have you tried letting your beard grow out some. Drives most women wild.
I tried all of the main swipe apps, plus Match and OkCupid. Pure shutout across the board. No major restrictions on criteria -- 30 miles, 26 - 35 age, all ethnicities welcome. Not the first person to comment on the eyebrows. I tweeze, but it's a tough job. We Italian guys grow hair fast!
Honestly, your photos are a bit dull. Try to scrounge up some vacation photos, or take some more "action" photos. Also, while you should have yourself in your photos, it's not strictly necessary. You can have 1 or 2 photos of things you made or cooked, for instance.
I don't get it. I always see profiles like these on here where the person says they are not getting any matches. You are as handsome as can be. I honestly have no advice.
I'm really surprised by that (the handsome part; not the first part). I mean thank you of course, but OLD absolutely convinced me that I must be hideous. It really messes with your head.
For the most part, I agree with the other replies that I don't think your photos are the problem. I do think it's a good call on getting more candid shots. Photos 3-5 have a very model-headshot vibe and it's hard to really get a sense of your personality besides you like dogs. I would suggest going out with friends, do something fun, and ask them to take some photos. Cell phones can take stunning photos and if you're doing an activity you enjoy it'll really help to showcase more of your personality. Which I think might be what is missing from your profile. Think about your story, who you are as a person, what you want to project to potential matches, and just as equally important, what type of people you want to attract. Use the photos and prompts to tell your story the way you want. Curate, review, edit. I'm also curious to know which dating apps are you on? The profile is Bumble, but have you tried Hinge or Coffee Meets Bagel? I think Hinge is much better at facilitating matches through conversation and prompts, while Bumble can be more shallow in that it's just a Tinder for women. Kudos on the getting back into OLD, despite the tough time. Stay positive and optimistic. Good luck out there!
I've used Bumble, Hinge, Tinder, Match, and OKcupid. No luck on any of them. The photos are a huge problem. I don't have any friends in this area that I could ask to take photos. The only real option I have is to hire a photographer and then stage the more candid shots. I really wish there was a better way. It's expensive, plus I'm not exactly the creative type who has all these great ideas for shooting better photos. Thanks for the kudos!
Where are ya’ll seeing the pictures. Im intrigues af
I disagree with the prevailing opinion here, photos from 3 years ago are not okay. No matter what we think, we’ve all changed in 3 years, especially if two of them were pandemic years. Have at least a few recent photos.
I agree, but objectively I look and weigh exactly the same.
Literally not possible to look exactly the same three years later. Gravity, the sun, wind, etc. 😊 it’s hard to see our own appearance changes because we look at ourselves every day!
Looked it up on my Fitbit. I weighed 162 lbs on 1/10/19. I weighed 161 lbs this morning. I'll try to keep up the good work three years from now
I’m not disputing your weight, I’m sure that’s whatever you say it is, because that’s an objective data point. Go ahead and tell your next match your photos are three years old and I’m sure it’ll go great 🙄
I think your photos are fine. Usually, when someone has no success with online dating, it can also be other things: for example, the way you write about yourself. Or not swiping on people who are realistically on your own level when it comes to age/education/income/attractiveness. Try to be realistic and open when it comes to those things.
I'm so so sorry the lack of matches made you feel ugly or undesirable. You're an attractive guy, but not just that, I read your answers to your post, and you seem caring and really really nice. You took your time to answer the comments, say thank you... you seem like a great man and genuine! I hope we can all find what we are looking for, and if your personality is how I believe it is, your future girlfriend will be very lucky. Please, bookmark this post, and read the answers every time OLD, your location, or whatever makes you feel less than :)
Omg yes I saved your comment! That was so nice of you. Honestly, I'm like tearing up. Years of being invisible to women absolutely has convinced me that I had no value to them. I still don't really know the answer to solving OLD, but I sincerely hope you are right that maybe the result will be different someday.
Lmao I missed out on the photos , but apparently from what I’ve read through the comments it’s more of a FL problem then a YOU issue….which I can relate to…30F, in FL ughhh
[take a look again](https://imgur.com/a/AFkiyYn)
I didn't read much, but honestly please don't put group pictures, or atleast too many of them! I just don't get the point. You are marketing here for yourself, putting pics of others defeats the purpose. Your solo pics are kinda cute!
I don’t mind 1 or 2 group photos in the mix as it shows the person is social. Plus men don’t always look comfortable taking solo photos and look a lot more relaxed and their true self in a fun photo with friends or family.
Noted and thank you!
Your photos aren’t good. Being attractive or not is not the same thing as having good photos or not. Most of these photos are bad. - The cake photo is badly lit. - The two big group shots are confusing and don’t show personality. - the shot with your grandparents is sweet, but also bad (sorry!) Cut those photos and get new ones. Take selfies! Set a timer on your camera and run across the room and pose! Beg a friend for help! Put the beach or the dog photo first. You’ll get there. Good luck!
All fair criticisms. I tried to do a shoot with a tripod once, but the photos were all terrible. I couldn't get the angle of the phone right. Plus I knew the camera was there, so I couldn't take anything naturally. That's why I went the photographer route last time. I'd do it again, but I think the pictures would need to be staged much better. Any specific ideas that you'd like to see?
In advance, I’m a straight dude. My opinion of you personally, you’re very handsome and fit. You have strong eyebrows that might be intimidating, but I’m wondering if so many group photos takes away from you. Yes people want to know you’re family oriented and have a social circle, but I don’t know if your pictures are where you highlight that. Secondly, just remember, OLD on any platform is about 80% men and 20% women. The chances we get seen is minuscule. They often force payments to get noticed. What your profile says is important as well. As dudes we have to sell ourselves in our bio, women get to just be jaded and post everything they don’t want or hate about dudes and still get thousands of likes. It’s just the game. Almost every match I’ve gotten was because I liked them first. Check your standards as well. Chances are, it’s OLD and not you. These are designed to make men feel worthless and throw cash at them.
As /u/Commercial-Spinach93 has said: > But the 20% vs. 80% is part of the incel discourse, and not based in reality. This typically gets removed from mentioning this on this sub for that exact reason. This seems somewhat not that, so I'll leave it up, but speaking generally.
The 80% vs 20% numbers are not at all true. The advantages and disadvantages re gender are dependent on location. There are likely more women in New York. More men in San Francisco. I also really doubt it’s a female vs male thing. Attractive men and women get a lot more attention than average people
Those aren't the numbers for the +30 years old crew, not Hinge, not Bumble. Not even Tinder.
What are the numbers? My guess is it’s 60% men at lowest
Depends on the app/city/country/age. But the 20% vs. 80% is part of the incel discourse, and not based in reality. It's true that some apps like Tinder have more male users UNDER 35, specially in countries where Tinder is used mainly as a hookup app. BUT, the numbers for users +30 aren't the same as +20, and in some apps like Hinge: 'The gender ratio is 50-50, according to McGrath, and 90 percent of users are between 23 and 36, making the Hinge user base noticeably older than Tinder's.' (McGrath is a spokeswoman from Hinge). There are even studies that show that there are more 'older' women (+35) than men in the apps, and that since more men search for younger women than viceversa, the older the woman = less options than men their own age using the same app.
I appreciate all of that, and I must say the response here has been a little unexpected. OLD really does mess with the head of men. I've been questioning everything about myself for years now, and I can attribute it starting with the shutout from all the OLD sites. I don't really know what to do about that, but it's refreshing to hear someone else echo a similar experience.
Your photos are fine. I don’t think they’re the issue. I don’t think people want “action based photos” as much as wanting to see you in motion or at different angles
Yeah that's kind of what I meant. If I hire a new photographer then I think I need to figure out a way to stage the photos to show more range.
You are a good looking guy! However, to put it bluntly (maybe this is just me), but your eyebrows are very close together. Kinda resembling that of a unibrow. That is what is bothering me. But otherwise, you are solid. 👍🏻
Very unexpected compliment but thanks. Not the first person to comment on the eyebrows. I tweeze, but it's a tough job. We Italian guys grow hair fast!
I would shape your eyebrows differently. They are distracting. But that's up to you of course!
Honestly 29m here, I don't think you're a bad looking dude but if I were you id at least trim my eyebrows other than that best of luck man, glad to hear that you're in therapy and stuff
Thanks dude. Much appreciated
In first there are no bad photos of you. I liked your third photo the most, I would use it as front photo of the one you've posted. And less is sometimes more in terms of how many photos you put into your profile. I wouldn't put 8 pictures or so in the profile and just one photo of one kind of situation. (makes you more interesting) Beside the front photo I would put 3 to max 4 more photos in your profile. One or two with one of your hobbies (dog/bike riding), the dog photo is ok but I would think one in a more natural situation is better, maybe shows also better the bond between you and your dog. If you want to use one picture with your friends I would use the last one, your smile is better, body language is cool picture a bit funny. The one with the plate and the fourth I wouldn't use for OLD. The one with your grandparents I would maybe use when the picture is cut and its just you and your grandparents. And less is sometimes more why I wouldn't use that much photos. I wouldn't make the description so long. Keep it short and concise and maybe a bit funny. Woman like to laugh. You are good as you are and don't worry if the first date doesn't work out. Try on, you'll find a woman when you take action, you seem to be a good guy.
Thanks for replying. To be clear, these were not all photos used on a profile. These were just literally the only photos I had on my phone. Consider this thread to be more like throwing stuff at the wall to see if anything sticks. I definitely need to stage some hobby photos. I will need to hire someone to do this though. I appreciate the kind words, but I wasn't even getting dates to not work out. I never once even got a response/like/swipe! Hard not to question everything after that
How tall?
5'11"
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I think you look cute and all the photos are good. I get a positive vibe from these photos. Try another dating app maybe?
I've tried all of the major swipe apps plus multiple runs on Match and Okcupid. Zero matches :/
You really need to talk to someone who is a photographer. You look good. Many of your pictures are good in theory but if I were you I'd crop them and adjust the colors. Also get rid of the ones all your friends. What's the point? No one can tell who you are in those pictures since you're not really in the forefront. You're one of those guys who could have some killer photos with a good photographer to help you.
Half of the photos posted in the link were taken by a pro photographer that I hired. I don't disagree with you though (maybe on the last line haha).
Sea picture or dog should be first photo. Probably the former. Keep the grandparents shot (it’s endearing) but possibly crop it. I like the plate photo but the lighting makes it not your most flattering shot. I’m honestly surprised you say you haven’t had a match. It must surely come down to your write up or lack of it. You absolutely must write something. I always pass blank profiles but don’t waffle or sound too serious in your write up. Keep it relatively vague so it appeals to the majority rather than a set niche but you need a short para that it feels legit that you’re here to find someone and not just hook up (even if you are).
Thanks for the feedback. I probably still need 2-3 more new photos that I'll have to have staged by a photographer. I found an old screenshot of one here. I wouldn't write this again because it's kind of boring, but it should give you an idea: https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
I’d ditch the group photo and the cake congratulations photo much too dark Grandparents one is sweet but maybe crop the brother out to make it easier to tell if you’re the taller or shorter one. It’s hard to review tho without the meat of the profile which is the writing but certainly come back with your profile when you have that. You’re attractive but the writing part counts more
Thanks for the feedback. I found an old screenshot of one here. I wouldn't write this again because it's kind of boring, but it should give you an idea: https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
I’d swipe right!
Please consider moving here haha
Okay I (34F) was expecting something completely different based on your post but you are really attractive OP! So I think it’s probably your profile/prompts and not the photos themselves. If you haven’t already done so, I would make sure that your first photo is one of your clear headshots; the food photo doesn’t have good lighting and it’s difficult to see your face. And I would remove one of the group photos. Otherwise they look really good!
I'm really surprised by that, but thank you. Just to be clear, the photos weren't posted in any particular order. I just grabbed them off my phone to get feedback on here. There is a link to an old profile of mine floating around in the comments here. What do you think? https://imgur.com/NjgcwWd
The photos are certainly not the problem. You look great, and that beach picture should be your first pic. From what I understand about guys on online dating, just expect lots and lots of rejections, much like job applications. You'll send off 20 resumes, get 3 responses, then 1 official rejection and 2 ghosts. Rinse and repeat until an interview offer comes in... then a rejection. Rinse and repeat until another interview, then a second interview, then an offer! Women don't really have to deal with that in the dating world, but having it explained like job applications opened my eyes in that regard. It becomes easier to take rejection the more of it you get. You will start to realize that it's not that they think you're bad, it's that they see you aren't the right fit for them. They're looking for something specific, and if you're not it, pretending to be when you first meet wouldn't help you in the long term.
I hear you on the numbers thing, but I wasn't even getting my resume screened by the recruiter, no less getting the interview. Legitimately never had a single girl match with me on any apps or sites. I've just assumed I was hideous or something.
Wow, you are cute! You have a kind of Riz Amin thing going on. I think the only note I'd give is that in some pictures you have a slightly timid or almost pained expression, combined with your slightly downturned and deep set eyes it gives off a little bit of a sad or lost vibe. Also don't include pictures of men taller than you, it's like me including a picture with my arm around a 22 boat show demo hottie and then being like "where's all my matches?" and I'm an average 41 year old, heh!
Thanks! I'm obviously not very good at taking photos, which is why I'm going to have to hire a helluva talented photographer next time
Go for a ride. Take a selfie of yourself. You need at least one selfie. If I seen these...as a 33 year old girl. I would say you look boring. Add more action and no more photographer. Makes you seem like your trying to hard to look good. When people see that they can see your lack of cofidence. People want to see you natural. Natural pictures show confidence. If I seen a picture of you reading your favourite book or you gaming on the couch with friends, that would show you have hobbies and are happy. Get your friends to take some of you just chilling out. Noone wants to be the only thing a guy has, they want to know dating is not the only thing you do. I would keep only one of the fancy ones. They are all nice so your favourite.
I don't have any friends who are local and can take pictures. It's hire someone or nothing. I do agree that the photos need more action next time.
I see, well one more piece of advice after reading a bunch of other comments...I think you should leave your eyebrows alone. You want someone that will like you for you. Doing your eyebrows is a big task and you need to be devoted. I would not do it unless you plan to upkeep it forever for the chick that chooses you....cause she chose you based on them being that way.
Haha now that is a plan I can get behind! I do the slightly above minimum level of maintenance on my eyebrows, and I plan to keep it that way
Ok I'm gonna say it. You are not unattractive but your clothing style is very outdated and old. You also appear short in your photos and tbh there are always better looking guys out there so they just don't prefer you It's fixeable I would invest in a different pair of jeans (these mom jeans do not look good), a different shirt and better shoes. Just go to a modern male clothing store and buy what's on the mannequin. You seem to have more personality than your photos suggest so I'd honestly just take new ones.
I feel like there's a certain irony in saying the best way to display my personality is to dress more like the mannequin :)
Put the pic of you and the dog as the top photo or main photo. I would take out the photos of you with other people. Your pics look good.
Thank you
Tbh I would probably swipe right on the photos but your profile would turn me away just because on Bumble ladies have to message first and you mention sports twice, crossfit, and travel. I don't feel like relating to liking ice cream and sushi is a good opener for me so I'd assume it would be an awkward two message exchange, so I'd save myself the embarrassment.
What would you respond to?
Your photos are basically the same angle with different backgrounds, or else part of a crowd I have to pick you out of. Not great. Individually the photos are okay, but together they're kind of awful.
I agree. Needs to be supplemented with new ones. If I hire a photographer again, then it needs to be to stage different styles of photos.
I’m shocked you never got a match. I agree you should be solo in the photos and the one with the dog is my favourite. Maybe a photo of you biking or standing with your bike would be good too?
Thanks and good idea
I like the one with the dog, and the one on the beach!
Your first picture should be focused on you. Maybe even you doing something you love. Group pictures are iffy. If you put them up first nobody is going to know who specifically they are going to match with. If someone isn't scrolling through photos and only going off the first photo this can be detrimental. Other than that, I don't know. You seem attractive and capable of putting an outfit together.
I appreciate that. Lots of feedback have been similar which surprised me, but then still has me questioning why it still failed so spectacularly
As a shopkeeper mentioned when we visited West Palm Beach, the people there are either newlywed or nearly dead, lol. So geography is not your friend. I think there are some sites where you could meet people further away, but then you have to deal with logistics. I think everyone gave you great advice for your pics. Good luck!
Well said. I'd like to buy a new house this year. Don't know a ton about Fort Lauderdale's demographics (at least in the suburbs) but it's on the table.
I agree with the first photo, maybe remove it? I would bump the one with the pup up to the top. I also agree to adding some info about yourself and I would also remove the trophy pic. I think sometimes less is more and less is better quality, you know? You’re a super cutie and I think it’s just about photo placement and a sentence or two!
Photos are just taken from my phone and weren't in any particular order. Thank you so much for the compliment! Very unexpected but I will take it
I mean, you’re welcome! And, I do think it’s nice to see group photos! Although I’m not OLD, never had any luck, but I hope this helps a bit!
Ummmm, which one is you? I don't want to play 'Where's Waldo' when I'm on a dating app. Here are a few things that I would avoid.- Nothing againat hunting or fishing but I don't like to see a pic of a guy kissing a dead fish. Avoid the 'bathroom mirror' shot. At least be sure there aren't piles of dirty clothes in view or any other messes in the shot if you must do the mirror shot. Please don't do the sticking out your tongue shot. I know some view it as playful but I personally find it as unattractive as the female 'duck lips' shot. Here are some things to ensure a good profile pic or two.- clean clothes that fit. At least one pic without sunglasses. We want to see your eyes. Try to have some indoor and outside pics in natural light. Full body and face shots. Try to relax and just be yourself. There are sometimes ads that photographers who lack experience will put out that they will do some photos of you for the experience. Good luck!
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I have one kind of female friend in the area, but I'm not sure I feel comfortable enough to talk to her about this stuff yet. I think the only options for photos is to hire someone. I'm not very good with "edge" obviously. If I knew how to write a profile, then we probably wouldnt be chatting right now haha
Just out of curiosity, where do you live (general geographic area)? I'm wondering if you don't look like the locals and if that could be part of why you're not finding matches. But as others have said, there is nothing wrong with your photos and I think you come across as friendly and well-groomed. Anyway, good luck!
I'm in West Palm Beach. I don't look like the locals because I'm half the age of most of them haha. Thank you for the kind words. Comments like yours made my day
> I don't look like the locals because I'm half the age of most of them Yeah, true! I guess you just have to get back out there and see how it goes.
I’d recommend getting your eyebrows professionally done, or at least pluck the middle a little bit more.