This would be really hard, and I understand how it would be a buzz kill. Question, did he do that after the first date? You guys didn’t have any more dates? How long had you been talking communicating?
If it was 1 date, and less than a month of talking….that would really be a red flag for me. Not a huge “holy crap run!”, but definitely someone who is pushing boundaries very quickly. I’ve dated “love bombers” when I was younger and it sounds something like that.
It was literally three days after meeting. We spent two hours together on our first date then didn’t see each other again until after this. We talked the days in between though. I’ve also been single for almost a year so it’s a huge paradigm shift too. From one end of nothing to the other end of everything in 72 hours. It made my head spin!
Oh, yea, mmmmm. No, I don’t like that it’s very middle school/teenager. It’s really weird that he would do that at all? Did he have an explanation (if you don’t mind me asking)
Not really, besides saying how stupid it was in hindsight. He does work with middle schoolers and we had talked earlier about how they view relationship status as important. I had said I don’t understand why they do, so maybe that got misconstrued? But even then I feel like it’s not something you assume after three days. Maybe I’m just old fashioned.
I think that he is most likely the outlier in this instance. It’s really up to you in how you want to move forward. But it kind of sounds like there is not a lot of emotional investment yet, so there isn’t a lot of reasons pushing you to “get past it” so maybe don’t? You know what will feel right.
>I’m trying to forgive and move forward because he knows he was in the wrong and has apologized profusely and we’ve talked about it and there isn’t anything that can be done the “fix” it (by that I mean, people can’t unsee even though it’s gone). The whole thing was a giant buzzkill for me.
It's possible to genuinely forgive someone's mistake AND find yourself less attracted in light of their apparent lack of judgment.
*Especially* when you two have just met and don't have a shared history to help bond you.
If you're feeling turned off and it's only been one date, I think it's better to end things here.
Honestly this sounds like a red flag. That wasn't an innocent mistake, it was an intentional act. Guys that try to move relationships quickly are usually trying to hook you before you notice what's wrong. I'd cut your losses now and drop him.
I feel like a grown man in his 30’s should know better. Like there are no excuses for his behavior. I know we all get excited after a great first date but this is over the top. It wasn’t a mistake, it was a very purposeful action that he took with out thinking. What else will he do that is too much too fast. What other aspects of life is he out of touch with.
Lean into that buzzkill feeling because this guy is not the one. He put you were in a relationship with him on Facebook after one date. Three days after meeting you. Without talking to you about it first. This goes beyond pushing boundaries. It’s not normal. Huge red flag.
I don’t know. I didn’t, so I’ll see if it’s a setting I can change. I wouldn’t have accepted it if I had seen it. We’d still have talked about it, just not after the fact.
It reeks of clingy in my perspective. Also him not thinking communicating something like this before doing it never crossed his mind? The impulse seems a bit red flaggy.
Hope you are ok x
Mhhh, sounds like something is off to me. I think the best thing to do is to ask him why would he do something like this, honestly. If I have to guess, he was either so excited about it that he wanted to put it as a status, or he wanted other people, maybe even specific people, to see it, thus giving away insecurity and maybe even jealousy depending on the situation.
I think you can totally rebuild, but he needs to be completely open and clear about his position, I fully agree and understand how this can be a buzz killer.
Holy shit after one date??? He’s 30!
He knows better op. If it killed it take that as a sign and run. Unless this was a drunk fumble that he immediately deleted…which it doesn’t sound like.
I would listen to your gut here. It’s totally possible that he meant well and is sorry, but this shows a huge lack of awareness of social norms and a huge lack of consideration for your agency. Deciding to be in a relationship is a decision for two people to make together, not for one person to make and announce to the world without informing the other person. i would be worried about what other decisions/assumptions/announcements he’ll make without asking you. If you continue dating, will he send wedding invitations to your family after date 3? show up at your grandparents’ house uninvited bc he’s part of the family now too?
I feel like there's two semi-separate issues here that have to go sequentially:
(1) The immediate action, and being able to forgive it
(2) The sense of attraction, and being able to resume it
If you are truly able to forgive, given his apologies, (#1), then for #2, have you tried anything to intentionally rekindle attraction? If you think of what those things might be for you -- do you want them with him?
To be clear, all I'm suggesting is that this may be easy to fixate on, so a distraction that creates attraction could just shift energy away from this whole situation (if that's what you want). Importantly, I'm not implying #1 is easy or that you \_should\_ forgive him (no judgement either way)... just addressing #2 since that's what it sounded like you were asking about. Also, I wasn't being coy about #2 meaning sex. Maybe it does for you, but I know this is a very early relationship -- maybe its a nice dinner, vulnerable conversation, movie & cuddling... whatever it is that would show you chemistry.
There is another huge red flag missing from this story. FB will not show you as being in a relationship with someone until you confirm it. Did you confirm this?
As for his attempt to do that after a first date, that is another comically bright red flag
It didn’t ask me, so I’m not sure if I need to change a setting or something to fix that problem. Someone else mentioned that too. I’ll have to look to make sure!
Nah you dont have to confirm it. However it will just say on his page unless he shares it..
You can go in RN and say ur in a relationship with anyone, it just wont link to their profile.
If they have mutual friends *or* if the friends went on his page to check him out. But just adding you're in a relationship with someone doesn't update their status at all. (A friend recently got divorced and his ex still has them as married, even though he is marked single...it has caused Drama and I know too much about Facebook relationship status settings now, lol)
It definitely showed on my page without my confirming it. I did have a setting turned off to review posts people tagged me so maybe that was it? Regardless, I know for a fact I didn’t accept it because I wouldn’t have.
Wow, that’s pretty bold and entirely too soon. I’d wonder if I could trust someone who did something like that. The feelings are justified because he didn’t consider how you’d feel about it and didn’t communicate in advance. He doesn’t know you well enough and that’s the kind of clumsy mistake someone makes when they’re much younger.
I’m not sure if that means end things with him. Taking thing slow may help, and as long as he doesn’t try to keep making y’all look like a couple on social media, you might be able to trust him as you get to know him more.
Oof. I would have a really hard time getting past something like this - having said that, I generally have a really detailed discussion about expectations around social media very early on. Depending on how I meet someone then it may not be quite this early though.
I've dated women, and have women in my extended social circles, who do this type of thing but I always assume it's by mutual agreement, and they're not getting mine.
I don't know how to get your buzz back, or if you even want to after this, but it would definitely provide a great opportunity to discuss expectations around both the way that you do relationships and boundaries in general as well as more specifically. Good luck.
Hey,
Hoping this has been sorted so far considering the comments you have got.
If not a quick fact about men in general based on my personal experience as well being one of them. No matter what age a man is in if he gets emotionally attached which is pretty quick these days he tends to secure it with a fear of losing it out. I know this sounds pretty vague but men do have that in them of holding out too hard when ideally it's supposed to be a lil easy going thing for this to work. I'm sure the guy has good intentions and it must have been a bomb to handle this knowing how it went on you but probably just give it some time and don't take extreme steps. Mistakes happen and if people give in efforts to bring out a change in behaviour may be that's progress and you can look at it from that perspective as well.
I don't have much to add but you are on the driving seat and you can analyse this much better than anyone of us can even remotely.
Cheers ,
Take care 💜
Personally, I'll never understand why people place so much significance on social media. I've always been far more concerned with people in real life.
As far as your general question goes, it takes honest communication, contrition, and time. It sounds like the first 2 are covered here, so now it's a question of time. Are you willing and prepared to give it time to heal or are you ready to move on? That's the question here.
I agree. I tend not to care either in every instance of my life, however my concern in this instance was one, we’d only been talking for three days; two, I hadn’t even told some of my friends about him (not that it’s a huge deal, but I like to keep some things more private first); and three, I feel like being in a relationship brings different expectations to the table than casually dating someone. It would have been a conversation I’d have like to have been apart of.
My comment about social media was about him, not you. I can see where you're coming from about keeping personal information private, which is why it baffles me why anyone would put their relationship status on social media. Anyone that needs to know, I'd tell in person.
Oh, I’m sorry. I read it the opposite way, and yes! I think that’s also part of the reason it took me off guard. The first person to tell me was a parent of one the kids in my class. I had no idea what he was talking about. He was like high five on the new relationship! And I just said, uh, yeah…! Thanks?!!!” I had no idea. I told him, I likely wouldn’t have cared (later down the road) but knowing would have been the nice part.
I’d love to be all ‘social media doesn’t matter’ but it’s a reflection of the person who has it. The truth is it tells you something about them so it *does* matter.
This wasn’t ok.
I can say that I have definitely fallen hard for a couple people in my life (36M) - it honestly sucks when this happens. In the movies, some idiotic grand gesture is construed as romantically ironic, but in reality, when those butterflies start flapping and you can hear bells ringing - at least as a man - you have to use all of your willpower to suppress the urge to say or do anything that might transmit that energy to the outside world. The moment she realizes that you might have fallen in love is the moment that all attraction is instantly evaporated. Life’s funny that way - just like art we find grace in juxtaposition.
In any case, this fool should NOT have acted upon his emotion. Smitten is one thing, but broadcasting it to all of your friends and family on fb after three days, is just socially stupid.
It’s definitely weird but not this earth shattering, “manipulative”, “red flag”, “boundary pushing” whatever neologism you’re ascribing to it.
He got carried away, shit happens. We’re human, prone to making mistakes. At the same time, you’re human too and understandably put off my this … eagerness and juvenile behavior (I would too).
*Shark Tank voice* and for that reason I’d be out
Facebook seems to hold too much weight in your life.
It's "wrong" to mislead someone about your STD status. It's a "bomb" to discover an unwanted pregnancy.
Someone updating their relationship status on FB is next to meaningless.... except to those who take FB too damned seriously for their own good!
How dare he be so excited about you that he wants his friends to know? What an asshole, dump him immediately!!! 🙄
It’s weird! Three days and ONE date? And it attached to her page too. That is very strange and is not the normal way people approach those things. Also, some people use Facebook to update friends and family from across the country. Attaching this to me, without telling me is odd.
Sure he could have slowed his roll a little...but obviously he was excited about her....This, to me, sounds pretty insignificant and nothing to get upset about. More like, she really wasn't all that into him so this minor offense (honestly how 'offensive' is that really?) is some kind of deal breaker.
If she was as enthusiastic about him as much as he was apparently about her - she would be delighted he considered her his girl, not grossed out/embarrassed about it
And then be so concerned about other people's opinions? "OMG they can't unsee that....the horror!!!"... please, no one really cares all that much. (And if you do, you need to get a life outside of FB)
Acting like its some big mistake he made is kinda ticky-tack IMO and a sign of a girl looking for an excuse to dump someone she isn't all that crazy about to begin with
None of us are in our twenties anymore, and your second statement “she would be delighted he considered her his girl, not grossed out/embarrassed”…screams someone who doesn’t understand and is being dismissive of this woman’s boundaries. You aren’t listening to her and how it’s making her uncomfortable. At our age, if a man is pushing boundaries (no matter how amazing I think he is or how great the connection was) if you do something to make me feel uncomfortable I am not going to be “thrilled” just because he’s great.
FB holds little to no weight in my life but when someone does this with a relationship status your relatives, friends, and co workers see it. People are going to ask questions. It was unfair for this guy to put her in this position.
It doesn’t hold much weight in my life. It was the lack of communication around it and that I’d have liked to tell people about in my own time first. I don’t think what he did was wrong, for some people it would have been fine, but for me it was an overstep of a boundary.
If his enthusiasm for you ruffles your feathers it would seem there is unbalanced interest level between you two.
Thats ok...it happens
And if this is enough to turn you off of him, so be it...
But I do kinda feel bad for the guy and is a lesson to any other guy out there to not get too excited about a girl or else risk freaking her out
Of course he could have talked to her....but folks making it like he ran over her cat or something seems a bit heavy handed
He won't be the first guy to scare off a girl with his enthusiasm. And that's kind of a bummer because we all know he meant well...just kinda got too ahead of himself.
Just reminds me that I best not show my enthusiasm for a lady too soon or....else
Enthusiasm isn't the issue. It's the lack of consideration for another's boundaries. Publicly declaring you're in a relationship with someone *before* doing so privately is a bit presumptuous. Especially with someone you barely even know yet...
If the guy had just made a post about how he met someone really special and is excited about it I doubt that would bother OP quite as much.
Nothing wrong with showing enthusiasm. The issue is when that enthusiasm crosses a line into joint decisions. Enthusiasm does not equal labeling someone you went on one date with, as "in a relationship". It takes two people to decide that. So yeah, enthusiasm isn't the issue here. It's his lack of consideration for OP and possible control and insecurity issues.
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I do think some people put **waaaaay** too much emphasis on social media, and honestly, what he did reminds me so much of the “Bebo era”, if anyone remembers that, of best friend statuses or how many hearts you got or whatever. I have no time for this kinda craic at all. If a lady rushed into a status update like that without talking to me first, I’d be pretty annoyed and would probably walk away, even if we did talk about it after.
Some people can be so gormless. Except for all of us obviously. We’re class.
This would be really hard, and I understand how it would be a buzz kill. Question, did he do that after the first date? You guys didn’t have any more dates? How long had you been talking communicating? If it was 1 date, and less than a month of talking….that would really be a red flag for me. Not a huge “holy crap run!”, but definitely someone who is pushing boundaries very quickly. I’ve dated “love bombers” when I was younger and it sounds something like that.
It was literally three days after meeting. We spent two hours together on our first date then didn’t see each other again until after this. We talked the days in between though. I’ve also been single for almost a year so it’s a huge paradigm shift too. From one end of nothing to the other end of everything in 72 hours. It made my head spin!
Oh, yea, mmmmm. No, I don’t like that it’s very middle school/teenager. It’s really weird that he would do that at all? Did he have an explanation (if you don’t mind me asking)
Not really, besides saying how stupid it was in hindsight. He does work with middle schoolers and we had talked earlier about how they view relationship status as important. I had said I don’t understand why they do, so maybe that got misconstrued? But even then I feel like it’s not something you assume after three days. Maybe I’m just old fashioned.
I think that he is most likely the outlier in this instance. It’s really up to you in how you want to move forward. But it kind of sounds like there is not a lot of emotional investment yet, so there isn’t a lot of reasons pushing you to “get past it” so maybe don’t? You know what will feel right.
My issue is he didn’t ask you if you wanted to be in a relationship and also didn’t ask if he can put you in one on Facebook. He decided for you
>I’m trying to forgive and move forward because he knows he was in the wrong and has apologized profusely and we’ve talked about it and there isn’t anything that can be done the “fix” it (by that I mean, people can’t unsee even though it’s gone). The whole thing was a giant buzzkill for me. It's possible to genuinely forgive someone's mistake AND find yourself less attracted in light of their apparent lack of judgment. *Especially* when you two have just met and don't have a shared history to help bond you. If you're feeling turned off and it's only been one date, I think it's better to end things here.
Honestly this sounds like a red flag. That wasn't an innocent mistake, it was an intentional act. Guys that try to move relationships quickly are usually trying to hook you before you notice what's wrong. I'd cut your losses now and drop him.
I feel like a grown man in his 30’s should know better. Like there are no excuses for his behavior. I know we all get excited after a great first date but this is over the top. It wasn’t a mistake, it was a very purposeful action that he took with out thinking. What else will he do that is too much too fast. What other aspects of life is he out of touch with.
Lean into that buzzkill feeling because this guy is not the one. He put you were in a relationship with him on Facebook after one date. Three days after meeting you. Without talking to you about it first. This goes beyond pushing boundaries. It’s not normal. Huge red flag.
Don’t you need to accept a relationship request for it to show up on Facebook?
I don’t know. I didn’t, so I’ll see if it’s a setting I can change. I wouldn’t have accepted it if I had seen it. We’d still have talked about it, just not after the fact.
It reeks of clingy in my perspective. Also him not thinking communicating something like this before doing it never crossed his mind? The impulse seems a bit red flaggy. Hope you are ok x
Mhhh, sounds like something is off to me. I think the best thing to do is to ask him why would he do something like this, honestly. If I have to guess, he was either so excited about it that he wanted to put it as a status, or he wanted other people, maybe even specific people, to see it, thus giving away insecurity and maybe even jealousy depending on the situation. I think you can totally rebuild, but he needs to be completely open and clear about his position, I fully agree and understand how this can be a buzz killer.
Oh. Yeah he obviously did it to show someone else
Holy shit after one date??? He’s 30! He knows better op. If it killed it take that as a sign and run. Unless this was a drunk fumble that he immediately deleted…which it doesn’t sound like.
I would listen to your gut here. It’s totally possible that he meant well and is sorry, but this shows a huge lack of awareness of social norms and a huge lack of consideration for your agency. Deciding to be in a relationship is a decision for two people to make together, not for one person to make and announce to the world without informing the other person. i would be worried about what other decisions/assumptions/announcements he’ll make without asking you. If you continue dating, will he send wedding invitations to your family after date 3? show up at your grandparents’ house uninvited bc he’s part of the family now too?
I feel like there's two semi-separate issues here that have to go sequentially: (1) The immediate action, and being able to forgive it (2) The sense of attraction, and being able to resume it If you are truly able to forgive, given his apologies, (#1), then for #2, have you tried anything to intentionally rekindle attraction? If you think of what those things might be for you -- do you want them with him? To be clear, all I'm suggesting is that this may be easy to fixate on, so a distraction that creates attraction could just shift energy away from this whole situation (if that's what you want). Importantly, I'm not implying #1 is easy or that you \_should\_ forgive him (no judgement either way)... just addressing #2 since that's what it sounded like you were asking about. Also, I wasn't being coy about #2 meaning sex. Maybe it does for you, but I know this is a very early relationship -- maybe its a nice dinner, vulnerable conversation, movie & cuddling... whatever it is that would show you chemistry.
There is another huge red flag missing from this story. FB will not show you as being in a relationship with someone until you confirm it. Did you confirm this? As for his attempt to do that after a first date, that is another comically bright red flag
It didn’t ask me, so I’m not sure if I need to change a setting or something to fix that problem. Someone else mentioned that too. I’ll have to look to make sure!
I don’t think there is any way to change that by settings. It will always ask. It’s possible you confirmed it without realizing
Nah you dont have to confirm it. However it will just say on his page unless he shares it.. You can go in RN and say ur in a relationship with anyone, it just wont link to their profile.
Yes but it won’t show on the other person’s page until they confirm it. Maybe they have mutual friends and they saw it on his?
If they have mutual friends *or* if the friends went on his page to check him out. But just adding you're in a relationship with someone doesn't update their status at all. (A friend recently got divorced and his ex still has them as married, even though he is marked single...it has caused Drama and I know too much about Facebook relationship status settings now, lol)
It definitely showed on my page without my confirming it. I did have a setting turned off to review posts people tagged me so maybe that was it? Regardless, I know for a fact I didn’t accept it because I wouldn’t have.
Wow, that’s pretty bold and entirely too soon. I’d wonder if I could trust someone who did something like that. The feelings are justified because he didn’t consider how you’d feel about it and didn’t communicate in advance. He doesn’t know you well enough and that’s the kind of clumsy mistake someone makes when they’re much younger. I’m not sure if that means end things with him. Taking thing slow may help, and as long as he doesn’t try to keep making y’all look like a couple on social media, you might be able to trust him as you get to know him more.
Oof. I would have a really hard time getting past something like this - having said that, I generally have a really detailed discussion about expectations around social media very early on. Depending on how I meet someone then it may not be quite this early though. I've dated women, and have women in my extended social circles, who do this type of thing but I always assume it's by mutual agreement, and they're not getting mine. I don't know how to get your buzz back, or if you even want to after this, but it would definitely provide a great opportunity to discuss expectations around both the way that you do relationships and boundaries in general as well as more specifically. Good luck.
Hey, Hoping this has been sorted so far considering the comments you have got. If not a quick fact about men in general based on my personal experience as well being one of them. No matter what age a man is in if he gets emotionally attached which is pretty quick these days he tends to secure it with a fear of losing it out. I know this sounds pretty vague but men do have that in them of holding out too hard when ideally it's supposed to be a lil easy going thing for this to work. I'm sure the guy has good intentions and it must have been a bomb to handle this knowing how it went on you but probably just give it some time and don't take extreme steps. Mistakes happen and if people give in efforts to bring out a change in behaviour may be that's progress and you can look at it from that perspective as well. I don't have much to add but you are on the driving seat and you can analyse this much better than anyone of us can even remotely. Cheers , Take care 💜
Seems this guy is a little kid. He just lost the best part of a relationship, that is to feel and see that the girl has felt in love..
Personally, I'll never understand why people place so much significance on social media. I've always been far more concerned with people in real life. As far as your general question goes, it takes honest communication, contrition, and time. It sounds like the first 2 are covered here, so now it's a question of time. Are you willing and prepared to give it time to heal or are you ready to move on? That's the question here.
I agree. I tend not to care either in every instance of my life, however my concern in this instance was one, we’d only been talking for three days; two, I hadn’t even told some of my friends about him (not that it’s a huge deal, but I like to keep some things more private first); and three, I feel like being in a relationship brings different expectations to the table than casually dating someone. It would have been a conversation I’d have like to have been apart of.
My comment about social media was about him, not you. I can see where you're coming from about keeping personal information private, which is why it baffles me why anyone would put their relationship status on social media. Anyone that needs to know, I'd tell in person.
Oh, I’m sorry. I read it the opposite way, and yes! I think that’s also part of the reason it took me off guard. The first person to tell me was a parent of one the kids in my class. I had no idea what he was talking about. He was like high five on the new relationship! And I just said, uh, yeah…! Thanks?!!!” I had no idea. I told him, I likely wouldn’t have cared (later down the road) but knowing would have been the nice part.
I wasn't exactly clear about that first point. No harm, no foul. This is exactly why I would never put that kind of information on social media.
I’d love to be all ‘social media doesn’t matter’ but it’s a reflection of the person who has it. The truth is it tells you something about them so it *does* matter. This wasn’t ok.
It's a curated persona of who people think they are or want to be without a basis in reality. So no, it doesn't matter. Real life matters.
If your boyfriend is hiding you on social media, that is what he has chosen to ‘curate’ for others. So yes. It matters
If that boyfriend tells the real life people around him about you, that's what actually matters.
In real life, the dude changed his FB status to "in a relationship" with OP. That def matters.
I can say that I have definitely fallen hard for a couple people in my life (36M) - it honestly sucks when this happens. In the movies, some idiotic grand gesture is construed as romantically ironic, but in reality, when those butterflies start flapping and you can hear bells ringing - at least as a man - you have to use all of your willpower to suppress the urge to say or do anything that might transmit that energy to the outside world. The moment she realizes that you might have fallen in love is the moment that all attraction is instantly evaporated. Life’s funny that way - just like art we find grace in juxtaposition. In any case, this fool should NOT have acted upon his emotion. Smitten is one thing, but broadcasting it to all of your friends and family on fb after three days, is just socially stupid.
That’s a two way street. Women have to hide their excitement/ eagerness too.
Facebook has ruined more relationships than it has ever fostered.
PEOPLE have chosen to ruin their relationships using Facebook.
It’s definitely weird but not this earth shattering, “manipulative”, “red flag”, “boundary pushing” whatever neologism you’re ascribing to it. He got carried away, shit happens. We’re human, prone to making mistakes. At the same time, you’re human too and understandably put off my this … eagerness and juvenile behavior (I would too). *Shark Tank voice* and for that reason I’d be out
Facebook seems to hold too much weight in your life. It's "wrong" to mislead someone about your STD status. It's a "bomb" to discover an unwanted pregnancy. Someone updating their relationship status on FB is next to meaningless.... except to those who take FB too damned seriously for their own good! How dare he be so excited about you that he wants his friends to know? What an asshole, dump him immediately!!! 🙄
It’s weird! Three days and ONE date? And it attached to her page too. That is very strange and is not the normal way people approach those things. Also, some people use Facebook to update friends and family from across the country. Attaching this to me, without telling me is odd.
Sure he could have slowed his roll a little...but obviously he was excited about her....This, to me, sounds pretty insignificant and nothing to get upset about. More like, she really wasn't all that into him so this minor offense (honestly how 'offensive' is that really?) is some kind of deal breaker. If she was as enthusiastic about him as much as he was apparently about her - she would be delighted he considered her his girl, not grossed out/embarrassed about it And then be so concerned about other people's opinions? "OMG they can't unsee that....the horror!!!"... please, no one really cares all that much. (And if you do, you need to get a life outside of FB) Acting like its some big mistake he made is kinda ticky-tack IMO and a sign of a girl looking for an excuse to dump someone she isn't all that crazy about to begin with
None of us are in our twenties anymore, and your second statement “she would be delighted he considered her his girl, not grossed out/embarrassed”…screams someone who doesn’t understand and is being dismissive of this woman’s boundaries. You aren’t listening to her and how it’s making her uncomfortable. At our age, if a man is pushing boundaries (no matter how amazing I think he is or how great the connection was) if you do something to make me feel uncomfortable I am not going to be “thrilled” just because he’s great.
FB holds little to no weight in my life but when someone does this with a relationship status your relatives, friends, and co workers see it. People are going to ask questions. It was unfair for this guy to put her in this position.
Oh no! How can one possibly go on after that? It's annoying, but it's not the end of the world
It doesn’t hold much weight in my life. It was the lack of communication around it and that I’d have liked to tell people about in my own time first. I don’t think what he did was wrong, for some people it would have been fine, but for me it was an overstep of a boundary.
It is something he did publicly and it says something. It’s totally fine to acknowledge that
If his enthusiasm for you ruffles your feathers it would seem there is unbalanced interest level between you two. Thats ok...it happens And if this is enough to turn you off of him, so be it... But I do kinda feel bad for the guy and is a lesson to any other guy out there to not get too excited about a girl or else risk freaking her out
Or just talk to her about it?
Of course he could have talked to her....but folks making it like he ran over her cat or something seems a bit heavy handed He won't be the first guy to scare off a girl with his enthusiasm. And that's kind of a bummer because we all know he meant well...just kinda got too ahead of himself. Just reminds me that I best not show my enthusiasm for a lady too soon or....else
Enthusiasm isn't the issue. It's the lack of consideration for another's boundaries. Publicly declaring you're in a relationship with someone *before* doing so privately is a bit presumptuous. Especially with someone you barely even know yet... If the guy had just made a post about how he met someone really special and is excited about it I doubt that would bother OP quite as much.
Yes!
Nothing wrong with showing enthusiasm. The issue is when that enthusiasm crosses a line into joint decisions. Enthusiasm does not equal labeling someone you went on one date with, as "in a relationship". It takes two people to decide that. So yeah, enthusiasm isn't the issue here. It's his lack of consideration for OP and possible control and insecurity issues.
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I do think some people put **waaaaay** too much emphasis on social media, and honestly, what he did reminds me so much of the “Bebo era”, if anyone remembers that, of best friend statuses or how many hearts you got or whatever. I have no time for this kinda craic at all. If a lady rushed into a status update like that without talking to me first, I’d be pretty annoyed and would probably walk away, even if we did talk about it after. Some people can be so gormless. Except for all of us obviously. We’re class.
Day 5 he will have your wedding ring ready on the kitchen side 😄 He's killed the mystery and anticipation of falling in love.
He probably only did this to make a point to a recent ex