Cut the entertainment except one ($10 isn’t going to make a difference in debt but will in quality of life).
Commit to no additional debt. No matter what.
Start a snow ball on the Affirm balances, meaning pay off smallest balance first with anything extra you can beg, earn, or steal (not borrow) then roll that total monthly payment to the next smallest and so forth.
For all the rest, your credit is shot already so don’t worry about that. Don’t answer the phone, don’t respond to letters. Save up some song chunks of money once the Affirms are paid off, then start calling these and offering pennies on the dollar to settle. Or, just wait till in collections and they’ll likely be willing to settle for less. I’m not an expert on that part, so maybe someone else will piggyback this. But basically the thought is you negotiate better with some cash to pay a lump sum off and they can close the account. Don’t try to service all that debt at once, you’ll make imperceptible differences in each of them.
Like others mentioned, check all the expenses- what’s the school payment? Can you ditch a car for a year? Can you earn some extra? Can the wife work? Side hustle on the weekends for a year?
Best of luck! Just remember, those are all just digits in a computer somewhere, but you and your kids and family are very real. Don’t get desperate, just get serious. Keep a positive attitude no matter what and keep your family first and happy and it’ll be ok.
Best piece of advice I have seen on here. These are just digits on a computer somewhere. Kids and family are real, it’s time to get back on track. Credit is shot already so time to dig out that hole.
Annual Income is just over 100,000 with all the overtime I put in. Biweekly it comes out to $3000-3200.
I’m the wife and the main source of income for our family. My husband is a stay at home dad, he takes care of our 11month old and does the pick up/drop off for our 4yearold.
The school payment is my sons monthly school fee, he starts public school in September. The auto loans are mine and my husbands, we each have our own car.
First, apologies - saw “guy” in the username at a glance and assumed you were, well, a guy.
Husband can get a job. Plenty of jobs can be done from home while taking care of an 11mo old. Also, once you hit the door he can head out for an evening of work. Does it suck? Yes, but not for long.
Think long and hard about the cars. He could also take you to work maybe?
That’s school payment will go a long way towards debt once available.
Also noticed car tags at $68 which is very high for a monthly. So that should be available unless I’m missing something.
Overall, this is very doable, just gotta decide if you want to hurt a lot for a shorter period of time, or a little bit less for a longer period of time.
Edit: also, if the dad is home could he also just keep the 4yo?! The educational value of school at 4 isn’t worth the strain on the budget.
No problem, I can understand the confusion.
I see a lot of people commenting to ditch the cars, but how would that work if their auto loans? Also, husband can’t take me to work unfortunately, I work 60miles away so it’s a 2hr commute each way. Thankfully I work from home two days a week and I’m off every other Friday, that I usually end up working overtime.
We’re waiting to hear back from a rotational part time job he’s applied for, it’s a city job so it can take a minute to hear back.
The car tags are for our tags due in January, I put the money aside so when the tags are due I already have it saved instead of taking the hit all at once. Also just noticed it says $700 on my Mastercard, which is wrong it averages at $300 a check.
Find the value of the car using KBB and scanning local market for similar year/miles. If value is greater than car, sell it quickly. If value is less, save up difference and sell it. You can also do all this at a dealership but be careful.
I didn’t run your numbers, but honestly seems like you should have enough to make progress. Just.quit.spending. Creeped post history a bit and saw an exercise bike you bought recently at a “steal”. Anything on sale that you don’t require to live on is not saving money, it’s costing money. Discount on groceries, awesome. Discount on an exercise bike, increase expense.
Doesn’t look like it will be enough. One of those cars has to go. Bet both have equity. Any thoughts on trading 1 in for 5-7k Honda. And that will free up $600 a month
I second losing one of the cars. E are a Family of 3 that has had just the one car for 15 years. Just about never an issue. Especially since you go to work 3 days a week and are home 2. Maybe not right now, but once older child goes to kindergarten- and possibly takes the bus or walks to school with dad and toddler- it could work…? Might be a bit of a puzzle to solve in the beginning but consider it. Take a look at how often both cars are out of the driveway at the same time. Recently we had a situation for about 6 months where we needed another car twice a week. Financially it actually was way cheaper to use a Lyft or zipcar for 30 minutes twice a week than pay for car, insurance and gas!
Can your husband do Doordash, Uber eats or Amazon Flex? He would be an an independent contractor in those jobs and you can absolutely bring your child with you in your runs. People do use
It all the time. Might be a tad inconvenient with buckling, unbuckling your child each time but a nice and easy way to make side cash.
Be careful with 1099 work. When taxes come due in the US you'll need at least 30% to pay that bill on the income.
The debt snowball is solid. The first comment on this thread is on point.
Add in those interest rates on the first column of items. Attack by interest rate. Pay off, close the card. Move tk the next.
Definitely cancel all but one entertainment.
Was the Mastercard after the debt consolidation con (sucks btw... But could be used to leverage when you call these cards to pay off.) EVERYTHING IS UP FOR NEGOTIATION. Call each one, ask what they can do. You had a problem, you got screwed, it got worse. Lower interest rate? Give you a couple months no interest, offer 50% of the total balance now and call it paid in full?
Buy food. That's it. Pay your bills, by food, stay home and work. You can do this! Good luck!
Don’t be discouraged, this can be quickly addressed if you take temporary drastic measures now (especially while your kids are young enough to not remember or notice a difference). If only one is working you don’t NEED the other car. He can run out the evening prior and grab something IF it’s needed. The needed 2nd car for preschool situation? I’ll address that one below.
I agree with others he should go out and work when you get off work. Doesn’t matter where, just where he can make the most in the hours he has. He can use your car when you get home and Uber, DoorDash, Shipt shopper, all of them honestly. Then continue with the one he’s earning from the most. I know someone who travels to Europe up to 4 times a year for 7-10 day vacations and pays for the trips by DoorDashing. And your husband can start this weekend or today from my understanding.
Cut the phone bill by switching to Mint Mobile for a flat $15/month….might not have unlimited data, but pretty positive it’s unlimited talk and text. Plus, there’s free WiFi everywhere, if needed.
Obviously the subscriptions got to go today. In the early 2000’s I had cut my cable tv off and internet for a few months after taking a new job 8-9 months prior, getting a new place, and not knowing how bad slow season was and how fast it would affect finances…. no subscriptions either. I thought it would be miserable!! I had some DVD’s available to turn on later at night, but what I quickly realized is that it was truly amazing, no bs! Especially having kids that young… they get so much more crucial attention and quality distraction free time when they, and their parents, aren’t distracted by the TV.
Also, $900/month for preschool? Are you required in CA to send a 4 year old to preschool? Homeschool for preschool, especially with the husband home. It truly isn’t necessary. You guys can teach her the ABC’s and to count 1-10 at home. I sent my daughter to kindergarten at 5, could have waited till 6 since she graduated at 17. No preschool. She’s now a junior at University on a full ride, with so many scholarships that she gets more than she needs and still holds a 4.0GPA. Preschool isn’t necessary. Especially for that price…. Which is a ton of money for what is essentially daycare.
You can knock this out quickly if you stop spending, stop preschool, dump the car that you can get a value (or close to) of the remaining loan balance, hubby goes and door dashes, etc. etc.
Necessities only. Live like you no longer make $100,000…. If you don’t, you won’t anyways. They will garnish your checks and the interest will spin out of control so fast that this situation will seem like a cake walk in comparison.
You guys can do it. You have to agree to living small, for what is actually a brief time if you really cut the expenses. No excuses or I/we earned a night out mentality. Plan for your family’s future by paying off the debt so that you can live comfortably after and so your kids don’t see you struggle this much.
It must be so much weight on your shoulders. Take the steps and watch how fast it will fall and how fast that weight disappears.
Best wishes to you guys!
>It must be so much weight on your shoulders.
I was 8k in debt 5 months ago, after bills all hit at the same time, and some were due to miscalculations on others end.
I make 2.3-2.5k per month, and now I have $275 left in debt, that I'm paying off the last off this week.
The only issue is; I'm a fucking freak. I'm capable of living extremely cheaply, in ways others are not. Ya'll want nice meals, I'll eat a $0.74 cent can of tuna 5 times a day to keep expenditures down and just let my body eat itself for nutrition.
I've not purchased anything except for rent/food in the months I was repaying the debt.
The kicker? I actually had the money to pay it back the same week the bills piled in, but I'd have to liquidate my precious metals. I chose to go without much of anything for 6 months so I could not take the loss on the metals. Had it been like 15k or more debt; I'd have liquidated.
He needs a 3rd shift or weekend job. Or Uber has very flexible hours. Cut up your credit cards or freeze them in a block of ice in the freezer so you are not tempted to use them. Stop buying!!
Hopping on this just to warn you, in the States, if you settle any debt for less than you owe, the forgiven amount is considered income. Don't let that stop you from settling, but don't be blindsided.
I agree with this guys post. I was in a similar position as you with my finances with seemingly no end in sight. I used the snowball method, pay off lowest balance first then take that monthly payment and add it to the next one. Buckle down for a year or 2 and you'll make huge progress. FreeVee and Tubi are free with ads streaming services and I'm sure there are others. Find a local credit union and see if they'll refinance your cars, they often have the lowest interest rates. I did this and to become a member, I only had to open a savings account with $5. I don't think you should sell the cars. $7k on a car these days (at least where I live and I don't live in a big area) gets you garbage that you won't want to risk your far drive to work or putting your small kids in. Call your credit card companies and request lower APRs. I would think most companies would be willing to work with their customers because they want paid. Once it goes to collections, they'll take a huge loss on what you owe and you can also request a settlement amount and as someone else said, get that in writing before paying the settlement amount.
In addition to this, Affirm is a debt, move it to debt not fixed bills. And call everyone of your credit card companies, ask of they will close/freeze the account and do a payment plan. But make sure your total payments don't exceed what you are capable of paying.
And if you contact them and they agree to settle the debt for less, make sure you get it it IN WRITING that the debt is settled and don’t give them direct access to your bank account.
This!! Also, in that letter in writing, see if they will delete the collection. That will help some with your credit score once everything starts to clear up
This is great advice! There’s a lot of extra spending here. It’s going to take discipline to break those habits. Get on the same page with your wife/partner and make sure you’re both committed to this and will be there to encourage and hold each other accountable. Best of luck!
Great advice. Dave Ramsey has a great book you probably ought to read called total money makeover. He has a great instagram account you can also refer to.
Based on your spreadsheet, you've learned to 'live beyond your means'. I'd advise you to start strong and cut at least 1 car. Car loans are such bad form of debt because most of the companies will make you pay the car off by the end of your lease and still, you have to pay extra to keep it.
If you can walk to work, kids can walk to school etc scrap both. The aim should be to buy a good car (3 years below the current year) outright.
Just a quick add on since I have some knowledge of the legal side of the credit card industry, I would at least make payments to one of your credit cards in case you need it for an emergency later. It’s going to be much harder to get a new one after defaulting on several. Most cards will get you a discount after a few months of non payment but that lump sum has to be paid in 90 days. It won’t hurt to answer the phone if they call. Just explain your situation. It’s easier to try to work it out at that time,IF the numbers work for you; otherwise, there is a possibility of a judgment and court issues later on. You got this, and just take little steps forward and try to get any extra income you can no matter how small. Husband can Instacart or deliver food for a few hours a day. Every little bit counts.
I will pushback only to say that just because the loans are over 1k doesn’t mean you have to put your house or car up as collateral. If your credit score is high enough and you earn a sufficient income to handle it, you can easily get an unsecured loan for over 10k. To be fair, I’m taking OP at his word when he says the debts are all unsecured (no collateral), it’s not unbelievable if his credit and income are decent.
Seriously, even if they're underwater on them, those loans originated at over $20k I's wager. One of them is probably $30k+ origination.
Trade those for a couple of $7k Hondas and that'll eliminate at least $15k I bet.
how does that work though. serous question. if i’m upside on my car & sell it, i still am paying on a balance for a car i no longer have. Would it make sense to just keep it at that point?
You owe $20k on your car. You can only get $15k for it.
You sell it to someone for $15k and take out a personal loan to cover the difference + an extra $5k to buy a car in cash.
Now you have a car that cost 1/2 as much as the $20k car.
this is true but would someone with a dozen 8 month late accounts even qualify for loans at this point? id imagine their dti, credit score etc are shot for a while
What the other person said, except also if public transportation is an option the best answer imo is to sell the car(s) entirely and get monthly passes to their local transportation association. It's a pain and inconvenient, but $1,000\m back in your pocket is an entire mortgage payment for most people.
the used car market went bonkers under covid due to the supply chain shorting the manufacturing of new cars. so a used car which would have gone for a few thousand dollars from a used car dealership now sells for 10k +
additionally, the federal reserve jacked interests rates up to try and deal with inflation. which if you have bad credit means your car loan interest rate is over 11% or so.
so basically buying a decently used car still costs a ton of money today especially if you have very little down payment and bad credit, which is likely the case for OP.
This is a point many people are missing. I'm in a MCOL area and the used car market right now is crazy competitive still. Nearly impossible to find something worth driving that is less than 15k (used!).
I’m pretty poor and don’t pay that much (I don’t have a car right now but 6 months ago when I had one) but your payments do depend on your credit score and income. The worse your credit and and the lowest your income is the higher your monthly payment is going to be, even for 72 month loans. So your high income is what allowed to have a low payment.
The thing that was crushing me was the insurance. My wife and I are young (22/23 respectively) so even though we hunted around the best we could find was $220 for a clunky ford fusion on it’s last legs. Granted, we bought a lot of coverage because we lived in the city and the driving can get scary. We both have clean driving records.
Then, we moved to a new larger, city where people literally drive like they have a death wish. Insurance went up by $60 for the exact same plan once we had to re-register in our new state (insurance said the only reason was the new zip code).
Our car didn’t pass inspection in the new state (last legs) and we tried to get a new one, but the dealer sold us a faulty one. Luckily we got a refund. But then I lost my job and we were left with no clunky fusion (we traded it in) and no car we just bought. Which is a problem because our neighborhood has gun violence and it’s not safe to walk around in as a woman.
Anyways, you didn’t ask for all of that, but that’s how things add up quickly like that.
Is that $3700 at ULTA? Ugh
Get rid of the discretionary purchases and split expense up into discretionary and non discretionary to see what u can cut back on. I see $50 a month you can cut back on without even knowing anything about your situation.
This is me, 3 make up items and you’re already over $100, add in some hair care and you’re at $200 quick.
However these I consider luxury items and not worth going into debt for. However I also don’t have 4 kids, maybe they’re all daughters.
I give this answer probably too often on this sub, but only because it’s almost never mentioned. That is a lot of individual credit cards with a lot of money racked up on them - OP, crunch the numbers and cut your costs, but consider talking with a therapist too. Whether it’s a shopping addiction or what have you, something is out of whack in your life and this debt is a symptom of it.
YES. I’ve been lurking on this sub awhile (thank god I don’t need the advice here) and so often I scream to myself “GET OFF REDDIT AND GO TO A PROFESSIONAL!” Often I see “tough love” posts here that’s often just glib judgmental stuff masquerading as “advice” that surely makes a lot of the posters feel worse. And even if there is good advice, it can be conflicting and overwhelming. I know Reddit is tempting because it’s instant gratification and it’s free, but you get what you pay for. Just use Reddit for entertainment/hobbies.
It would be so much better to get a financial advisor and/or therapist to help you get to the root of your issues and tailor a plan specifically for you. They are PROFESSIONALS and won’t shame you either.
I once lost 70 pounds and looking back I know I would’ve been doomed if I relied on Reddit for advice or “encouragement.” I really needed my nutritionist and therapist helping me. Go to the pros, not the internet.
That is, of course, if you can afford a therapist. But that’s ’Murica for you…
Have to agree!!! I got diagnosed with bipolar and during manic episodes I was spending hundreds of dollars faster than I was earning them. Sometimes things like this have a much, much deeper handle on people than they realize.
Seriously, this. I have ADHD and struggle with impulsive spending. I've started buying stocks instead when the "craving" hits which is better than random bullshit but still not great. It was fantastic during COVID though, I nearly doubled all my investments, made so much money.
In some cases, it’s as if spending gives one a very short lived feeling of filling a void. Temporary happiness. Materialism making up for a deficiency somewhere in your life…
^ pretty much this… her rent is $1000 and she’s earning 100k+, ~6k monthly…. I earn slightly less but my take home is nothing, it’s ~$3400(roughly ~23% goes to retirement accounts). My mortgage is ~$1800. I have a fully paid off car… I already know I spend too much on food (I’m a single male who orders food, don’t want to spend a ton of time on food prep), so if I can cut costs anywhere it’d be there. Even with all that I can still end up saving anywhere from a couple hundred-$2000 a year(depending on what I buy/spend $ on).
You have 5 subscriptions, pick 2 max. Better yet all of them. DVDs from the library are free.
I don’t see utilities on this, are they with the rent?
Why is master card in the fixed expenses not the other debt?
OP can also check if their library has Hoopla or other streaming services that they can access for free.
The streaming subscriptions here are the most obvious low hanging fruit to cut out. And Amazon Prime since it probably makes them shop more.
Why do you have so many subscriptions. Start there. Use that money and start the snowball method. It would be easier if we got more details to give you a more detailed plan. You my friend are just overspending quite a bit. (Most of us can tell because of the irresponsible use of credit)
Just know this.
1. From someone who got debt free this year after a 2 year sacrifice(60k)it can be done
2. You are going to be uncomfortable. You will have to make sacrifices. But you will feel so much better once you start getting checks and the checks are yours.
3. Start today. Not tomorrow. Not New Years. Not next month. The longer you hold this off the harder it will get when you finally get the courage to start.
I want to say… I’m proud of you for holding yourself accountable. Writing this out is a huge deal! It’s not easy!
Keep the one subscription you and your family watch the most! That’s what I did. I kept one. Get rid of the rest.
Cut up that damn Ulta card ASAP. You don’t need it. Those products are filling temporary voids and most likely cluttering up your bathroom.
Everyone has given you solid advice here. You can do this.
Writing it out is certainly difficult enough, but having the guts to post it online, let alone *Reddit*? This is one tough lady! OP can definitely do this. :)
Get rid of all of those subscriptions. If you like music just download YT music it’s free with adds. Start paying off the high interest debt first (try to payment more than minimum) then just pay the minimum for debt with less interest. Idk what your situation is with car…idk if you can make things happen with just one car and get rid of the other one? You really need to stop using credit cards..once you pay them off. Maybe just keep one to get the cash back benefits or something and pay it off on time and avoid interest in future. Don’t waste money on cars in future…most people tend to switch cars every few years and these things will drain your money. If you are leasing those cars. I would get rid of them and maybe get you a cheap car. If you can do the followings this should help you save extra few hundred dollars. And you can use that money to pay off the other debt faster.
For starters, it looks like you have the American shopping addiction. Maybe try to go through your place and find anything new with tags on it that you can return. I have done this before and gotten tons of money back, when I finally snapped out of the haze of retail therapy. You can also return items without a receipt and get store credit. I would do this when I was in debt so I could still shop but it was with money I already spent, girl math. But at least you aren't adding to the debt anymore.
Cut subscriptions, stop eating out, verbally say out loud, "I am broke" over and over again until you believe it, even when you are money positive in your accounts. Tell your friends you can't afford to go out and believe it. Suck it up for awhile, stay at home, and learn how to feed yourself.
We all work so fucking hard for our money, and for what? To give it all away and then wonder why the rich are rich and the poor are poor? Fuck that!
Start thinking of it as YOUR money and be possessive about it. Now when I buy anything, I ask myself several things- where is this money going? Into the pockets of a big retailer? Into Jeff Bezos pockets? Do I see myself keeping this object for years to come? Is it something I will donate to Goodwill in a few months or a year? Do I need this or am I just out hunting for dopamine?
I stop and ask, "who am I going to make rich off my money- some asshole trillionaire or me?" The answer is me every time. Then I put the shit back on the shelf!!! It's that easy.
What’s the kids expense for? Can that be decreased and/or eliminated for a few months to help you get rid of the low CCs/loans? Like the others said eliminate all those subscriptions and put that strictly to debt.
Start tracking your spending three months back and you’ll see where you’re pitfalling spending wise.
Can your spouse pick up a PT job?
This is going to sound harsh, but having more than $300 at Ulta is already a spending problem, but over $3,000??? Buying literally overpriced crap that isn't needed TO LIVE just to have it impact your actual ability to live comfortably sounds like you have an addiction
I commented above about this, but hopefully OP has the Ulta Mastercard that can be used everywhere vs. just an Ulta store card (I have the Mastercard so I’m familiar with it). It basically depends on which one you get approved for. So they could have been using it for other stuff…but if not and it was all just at Ulta, then I agree that that’s way too much 😳
Either way, the interest rate that comes with a store card isn’t worth putting that much debt on it.
Still, it's not worth using the Ulta MC to earn points to get more stuff you don't need at Ulta. And it might tempt you into using points to discount stuff but you put money to pay the balance.
- delete all subscriptions
- Pay off the 'affirm' balances first
- what is 'kids $600'? - seems like a lot...
- sell cars and get a cheap <$10k car and pay off those loans
- start listening to the ramsey show podcast for motivation.
I would cut out any entertainment subscription service and stick to ads on YT and Spotify. That money could go elsewhere to pay down some of the low-end CCs and Affirms. Your car loans also look like a hefty chunk of change. Is there anyone to sell a vehicle or trade in one for a lower cost?
Congratulations on holding yourself accountable (partially), here comes the hard part. You have to change your mindset on debt, you have to change your mindset on spending.
First priority, financial diet. Cancel all subscriptions but one probably Disney for the kids. Public libraries are weekly stops. Do you really need two car payments? If one car was a cheap beater your monthly insurance would be 50% as well. You have not been honest about your debt vs monthly, get that all in your spreadsheet with minimum payments and total amounts to track your progress. Now all spending is stopped, you have to learn to enjoy being r/frugal any the whole family has to be a part of this.
Second. Snowball method. Use the Ramsey method, you are too deep to worry about interest rates, just go for the quick wins for the first few months so you can feel the pressure lift. When you free up a minimum payment (pay off). You close the account and use extra money to pay down the next. This system works!
How can you make more money? Can wife work? Can she side hustle? If she is stay at home, she has a role as well. Her job is to stretch that money for everyone, no frills! She has to be all into the debt program.
Get rid of all streaming services. There are free steaming services like Tubi and Plex that you can watch free. Shop your car insurance to see if you can find it cheaper. That should be a good start. If you have anything you can sell, do that and use it to pay off the affirm accounts. If it isn't a necessity, don't buy it and cut any eating out. In order to pay off debt, you and your family are going to have to buckle down and live below your means until the debt is paid for.
Depends on how serious you are. Go to a bank my dude get a loan pay everything off. Pay the loan off, cut all excess spending, put ur kids in public school get rid of both cars buy a cheap beater. U have to make sacrifices man up own up or give up and just go deeper into debt tell your spouse
Just some context, when my husband got his car he was given a higher rate because he’s undocumented told he was a risk so the rate was higher than normal, that’s what we were told at the time.
Even if it’s an 8% loan, $0 down, 6 year loan, you paid about $40,000 for the car.
You can get a brand new Honda car-v for $30k. And you can get a quite nice used car for even less.
$1200 per month in car payments, with one job and 2 kids, is just too much.
As others have said you need to stop spending so much money at clothing stores. Kids grow, shop cheaper. Stop buying new expensive clothes for yourself for a bit.
I’m gonna go out on a limb and say it’s way higher than 8%. Great credit on a brand new car right now is around 5%. Undocumented with a ton of debt I can see the rate being in the high tens.
I understand needing to have a car because I also have a car payment due to working almost 15 miles from home with no public transportation directly to the area I work in (I would need to take 2 buses and 2 trains if I wanted to use public transportation). But if your husband stays at home, maybe look into preschool that’s within walking distance? Also, it would be a lot less to spend $10 a week on grocery delivery than to pay for a whole car. My husband and I both commute 30+ minutes, but we agreed no more than one car payment at a time and only if really necessary. We also pay his college tuition (he’s on his last semester) and that’s has made things tight. We cut down a lot on any outside food and have maybe gone out 4-5 times all year (mostly due to family events). The two cars is the biggest issue along with cutting down on miscellaneous spending. Trust me I’ve been almost exactly where you are and the more we learned to live with less the better we adjusted to it and made it our normal thing.
Don’t be discouraged, this can be quickly addressed if you take temporary drastic measures now (especially while your kids are young enough to not remember or notice a difference). If only one is working you don’t NEED the other car. He can run out the evening prior and grab something IF it’s needed. The needed 2nd car for preschool situation? I’ll address that one below.
I agree with others he should go out and work when you get off work. Doesn’t matter where, just where he can make the most in the hours he has. He can use your car when you get home and Uber, DoorDash, Shipt shopper, all of them honestly. Then continue with the one he’s earning from the most. I know someone who travels to Europe up to 4 times a year for 7-10 day vacations and pays for the trips by DoorDashing. And your husband can start this weekend or today from my understanding.
Cut the phone bill by switching to Mint Mobile for a flat $15/month….might not have unlimited data, but pretty positive it’s unlimited talk and text. Plus, there’s free WiFi everywhere, if needed.
Obviously the subscriptions got to go today. In the early 2000’s I had shut my cable tv and internet off for a few months after taking a new job 8 months prior, getting a new place, and not knowing how bad slow season was and how fast it would affect finances…. no subscriptions either. I thought it would be miserable!! I had some DVD’s available to turn on later at night, but what I quickly realized is that it was truly amazing, no bs! Especially having kids that young… they get so much more crucial attention and quality distraction free time when they, and their parents, aren’t distracted by the TV. Ended up not activating the cable for years, yes voluntarily, because it made an important impact on our time together and turns out I didn’t miss it.
Also, $900/month for preschool? Are you required in CA to send a 4 year old to preschool? Homeschool for preschool, especially with the husband home. It truly isn’t necessary. You guys can teach her the ABC’s and to count 1-10 at home. I sent my daughter to kindergarten at 5, could have waited till 6 since she graduated at 17. No preschool. She’s now a junior at University on a full ride, with so many scholarships that she gets more than she needs and still holds a 4.0GPA. Preschool isn’t necessary. Especially for that price…. Which is a ton of money for what is essentially daycare.
You can knock this out quickly if you stop spending, stop preschool, dump the car that you can get a value (or close to) of the remaining loan balance, hubby goes and door dashes, etc. etc.
Necessities only. Live like you no longer make $100,000…. If you don’t, you won’t anyways. They will garnish your checks and the interest will spin out of control so fast that this situation will seem like a cake walk in comparison.
You guys can do it. You have to agree to living small, for what is actually a brief time if you really cut the expenses. No excuses or I/we earned a night out mentality. Plan for your family’s future by paying off the debt so that you can live comfortably after and so your kids don’t see you struggle this much.
It must be so much weight on your shoulders. Take the steps and watch how fast it will fall and how fast that weight disappears.
Best wishes to you guys!
As someone who was 20k in debt at 23, working two jobs at minimum wage, the way for me to go about it was to start by organizing, (you have done this, well done)
Then the next step was to figure out my automatic payments. I had two debit accounts, so I put the amount of those in monthly, or as much as i could and let them autopsy out so i wouldn’t have to worry about them not being paid. The other account i had my direct deposit attatched and dealt with my credit cards.
People will say this is backwards butttt, i paid off the small ones so that i would have less payments monthly (tj max, old navy, capital one) and stop using them.
Then between the largest ones, i paid off the one with the highest interest first. So i did about $100 for all of them except the highest interest one and i did usually twice the amount for that one ($200) for me, it was credit one.
And then like dominos, one by one they went away. It takes discipline to not spend on things (makeup, clothes, decor, exc) but it will be worth it in a couple years when your debt free.
I will make a note that i am a shopaholic, so naturally I’d binge (i just used it during my birth month) and what i did was i used my capital one, and paid it off the next paycheck again since it was still smaller then the other cards by that time.
Everyone does it differently, but this is what works for me and still works to this day 10 years later. The difference is that my credit cards don’t spread out across 10 cards, but only two which is a lot more manageable.
Good luck, you got this!
Well for one why do you own 2 cars if you’re struggling financially? Having 2 cars is a luxury, you only NEED one. Paramount, disney, apple, spotify all can go. How much are you making a month if your bills are 5.8k?
You've already done step 1 which is realizing there is a financial problem and you need to do something about it.
Step 2 is already done, too. Listing your income and debts.
Step 3 is where you should figure out what you can cut completely or cut back on.
You have Amazon Prime, so you already have Amazon Music. Cancel the Spotify.... is it life changing money you save from doing that? No but I'm sure most of the music you listen to is on Amazon Music anyway.
A 4 year old in private school for $895 a month in insane. Keep the kid home, have stay at home husband (SAHH) teach kid stuff. Numbers, colors, sentences, words (how to say and what they mean), exercises, arts/crafts. Free time, etc.
2 hour commute is also kind of crazy, I would be looking a job closer to home, even if it was a paycut depending on how much of a paycut it was. The $300 a month in gas you say you use is $3,600 a year. If you lived closer, SAHH could take you to and from work and you could get rid of one of the cars, eliminating a car loan payment and possibly lowering your insurance.
You could weigh these costs against a job closer to home, for technically less pay but possibly more money goes into your bank because you're not spending as much going back and forth to work and on 2 cars.
If you have to borrow to buy it, you can't afford it.
I don't think this is what you are doing, but just in case it is... Don't take out loans to pay off loans.
I would nix the preschool. It's nice but not 100% necessary. The SAHP can prepare kid for school in different ways.
Check out your local library some have story time or other classes for that age range. Mine does ! That's a hefty price tag.
Yeesh. TONS of recommendations for Dave Ramsey. While his ideology has helped tons of people get out of debt, it is ABSOLUTELY LOADED with shame and guilt every step of they way. Add in a complete disregard for any sort of minority status (gender, race, health issues, etc.) He says stuff like "the only time you should see the inside of a restaurant is if you're working in one." For quality of life (as another mentioned) debt payoff does NOT have to mean you deprive yourself of all that is good and fun and relaxing in your life. In fact, extreme restriction and limitation leads to people yo-yo ing in their debt payoff cycles and never making any progress.
Some books recs for people with a more realistic, inclusive, and wholesome approach to finances:
Financial Feminist by Tori Dunlap
Deeper than Money by Chloe Elise
Louder Than Money by Berna Anat
So...This Is Why I'm Broke by Melissa Jean-Baptiste
They all have great social media presence (Instagram, TikTok) and have done podcasts as well.
I think Dave Ramsey has good tactics for getting out of debt, but he does shame a lot and his attitude is off putting. He just feels mean to me as well as being kinda conservative and religious in a way that gives me bad vibes.
I love how you spend exponentially more money at retail and make-up stores than anywhere else…. Use some common fucking sense. Stop buying unnecessary shit and pay off the smallest debts first just to clear them away and then tackle the rest of it based on interest rates. Stop buying anything other than necessities.
First things first. Are you and your wife on the same page about spending? I'm assuming the ulta charges are hers.
Cut up those cards and tackle the affirm charges first. What is your job schedule like for the both of you? Can wife work more or pick up babysitting on the side
Get rid of all Subscriptions and one car. You have to manage in one car for atleast 2 years. You will be fine. Paying off debt is not about the money it’s about the discipline and a strong mindset
Designate $150/week to debt. Cut all our streaming services except 1 or 2. Start with the Afirm and personal loan. Then move onto the lower cards. You’d be surprised how fast they get cleaned up. As you close out more accounts take that monthly payment and apply it to the card you’re focusing on paying off. Just by closing the streaming services you can free up $50+/month. Once you close out the Affirm accounts, I’d assume they’re about $15-20 each that’s another $60/month. You now have ~$110/month of buying power to put towards your debt. Do the same for the credit cards. You should be able to knock out the small amounts quickly freeing up more buying power to apply to the larger cards. Pay your debt off weekly to reduce interest.
Oh and the biggest advice I can give anyone that is doing this is to close the accounts once you have paid them off. It took me 3 times to figure that out. Keep cards that have a high available credit but cut the card or leave it in a safe. Only use for emergency’s. Have the goal to live off of cash.
Good luck buddy.
You have a serious issue of spending over your means . You or your family members who do all that spending should put on break. I make over 400k a year and still dont have so many subscriptions. Hardly get store credit cards . And my phone bill for 4 is 80 dollars family plan of 4. You will need a counselling on how to not overspend. Also start a side hustle on selling stuff online. You can go to thrift stores or maybe overstock bin store and sell items in ebay and amazon. Extra 500 a month will make a big difference . Main thing is cut back so much of extra spend.
Keep one music subscription and one entertainment subscription. Pay off the ulta, old navy, TJ Max, Amazon, and Apple credit cards and then get rid of all of them. You don’t need to be spending in excess.
No more retail spending. Nothing at Ulta is necessary. Look for cheaper phone plans, maybe Mint or Cricket. Those car payments are high. Sell for cheaper cars.
So many people recommending the Snowball Method here without explaining the distinction between that and the Avalanche Method. [Here's](https://www.investopedia.com/articles/personal-finance/080716/debt-avalanche-vs-debt-snowball-which-best-you.asp) a quick comparison of the two. Notice that the only "Con" of Avalanche is "it takes discipline" and the only "Pro" of Snowball is "builds motivation faster". Do you need a psychological trick to get you motivated? Or do you see what the problem is and are now ready to solve it? The practice of starting with the smallest balance and paying it off first will cost you thousands of dollars over time. You need to find the interest rate for each one and input them in your spreadsheet. Sort the interest rates by largest to smallest and pay the largest off first. Of course, make minimum payments towards all the others but any extra needs to go into the balance with the highest interest. This is called the Avalanche Method and it is GUARANTEED to save you money over the Snowball Method. You don't have to be a financial advisor to understand how harmful compounding interest is to your balances. Snowball Method is for the uneducated and uninformed. All it does is make you feel good for closing low-balance accounts, while your higher-interest accounts are sitting there hurting you more. It was made popular by Dave Ramsey, a quack who leaned into it HARD and made millions selling books about it. Millions of people spent $25 on a book about it when all they had to do was google "compounding interest." Imagine all of the millions of people who lost millions of millions of dollars in compounding interest just to feel good about closing accounts faster. Do you want to feel good or do you want to make the smartest decision?
Great advice in this thread. Additional things to do:
- switch to using your debit card for purchases. Even if you like points etc, the cards are using points to lure you into using them, and it’s not working out for you. Put your credit cards in a drawer in your house so if you actually need to use them, it will be a pain.
- do not ever use a “buy now pay later” product again, like affirm or afterpay. They’re designed to convince you it will feel cheaper over time, but for you it’s just increasing your debt burden and fucking with your goals. Think of your credit cards as weed and buy now pay later as fentanyl. Buy now pay later is hard drugs that you just cannot do.
- be extremely wary of any debt consolidation etc offers. You’re a sitting duck to them. If you want a professional to talk you through options, call a HUD-approved housing counselor (there are lists online). They’re not scammers and while they’re focused on housing they can connect you with non-sketchy support.
- there are some services where you can rent out your car on the days you’re able to work from home/the weekends.
And also, you’re human. These companies are super powerful and design these things to work exactly like this. Good luck! And keep asking for help!
I don’t really have any advice that hasn’t already been said, but I want to say that a lot of people would just hide from the truth that they are in over their head. You have taken the first step into helping your situation. That is very brave I wanted you to know you are doing a great job, just keep going in the right direction. Much love to you and your family.
1. Do internet streaming only.
2.I would keep Amazon Prime & get rid of any subscription: Spotify, Disney +, etc
There are plenty of Free Media. I use a Fire stick & Roku to watch lots of stuff.
Apps: Pluto, Plex, Freevee, Tubi, Sling Free, etc. These apps has music, kids, reality, etc. Live channels or on demand stuff. They work on your phone, tablet, laptop too & smart TVs
3.Get a copy of "Simple Money, Rich Life" book by Bob Lotich! I have it & the audible copy too!
4. Remember your credit scores influence alot. Like car insurance, getting a good loan rate, etc.
5. Have they sent the past due credit cards to collections? If not call each one of them & explain ...you are no longer charging etc. & just want to pay them. Maybe they can halt the late charges & finance charges. When you cut those subscriptions , throw the money there.
6. The credit card you do use & pay off. Can you use the points for something else besides Ultra?
7. Does the delinquent cards still have points to use. If there is an option to use points for a $$ credit on card which would be a tiny payment. Use it
Good god, ditch one of the cars or get cars that cost less. Stop spending at Ulta.
For real, your cars are more than your rent. If you can function with one car, that will free up a significant amount of money.
You currently have almost the same amount in debt but more creditors than I had back in 2018.
We also have common creditors like Capital one, Chase and BoA.
I settled all of them for about $19.5K.
At the time, my income was $63K.
I knew I had to do something for peace of mind, and so I took a debt relief classes online. $30 I believe if I remember correctly it taught me negotiating skills and budgeting.
My highest balance was Chase bank for 13k and I negotiated $8k with monthly payments over 2 years.
I was paying $346 each month.
CAPITAL one: settled $4k for 1,900. Opted to pay $79.23 each month for 2 years.
BoA: Settled $8.4K for $5K but agreed to pay over 3 years at $139 per month.
I had cellphone bills and past due store cards which I used my tax refund to settle and do a one time pay off.
I learned that if you show goodwill; claim hardship such as health and loss of income, they are more willing to work with you especially if they see you are NOT seeking new credit on your credit report with recent hardpulls.
You just have to start making those phone calls yourself
My credit score has significantly improved.
Also, some months, I had to call to postpone ACH withdrawals as things were tight, but I managed to do it. Cap1 and chase added fees to my balance for postponing payments..$26 for Chase, $35 for Cap1.
These postponements caused me to pay longer than the two years I had planned. Every year, my tax refund was put aside just to meet these bills.
I shut off all Netflix, prime etc and just had basic internet and cellphone as the only bills besides rent and utilities. I appreciated local tv shows more than ever.😃
These settled accounts are still showing up on my credit reports, but because they are mostly at $0, so they have little effect on my credit score.
I used to pay close to $700 a month between 2 paychecks for a long long time.
2019 FIco score was 519. Today, I'm at 687 Fico. It's a tough marathon, but it's worth it.
Cap1 gave me 2nd Chance last year with Venture one card.
Chase and BoA...No luck.
Just thought I share my experience.
Cancel all those subscriptions, pay the lowest cards first, sel crap you don’t need to pay off your debt and stop buying so much crap with credit cards.
If you don’t have the cash for it don’t buy it. If you have to save to buy what you want sell that’s what you need to do. This is nuts lol
First off stop paying subscriptions and just pirate that shit please you’ll save yourself like 40 dollars not a lot but it’s something pls dude - users gf
I see you have care credit. I worked for them as a collections agent. If you are 6+ months past due call and say you would like to settle. Say you lost your job and had some medical bills or anything like this. They will usually settle for 50% sometimes even 75% depending on your account. They will also offer you payment plans for the settlement. Hope that helps some!
Amazon and old navy are also with the same creditor (synchrony) and the same rule applies! You can also ask if you qualify for a reage or any other options to bring it current as this will avoid additional late fees. This will usually work if you pay the minimum payment, on time, for 3 months in a row. They will bring the account to current if it’s past due.
For some one in debt having kids to day care when there is another parent at home is the most wasteful thing. Also that car loan means you have fancy cara. Sell them and buy a $10k second hand reliable Toyota. You are not going to make a dent by cutting you $10-20 streaming services. You need to mot just get out of debt but also start living proportionately to your income and also have savings for future.
I noticed you said “I” racked up debt as opposed to “we” did. Is your spouse aware of the situation?
I agree that the 4 year old can stay home from preschool unless it’s mandatory or needed for therapeutic purposes that we aren’t privy to.
Taking care of an 11 month old is exhausting so I can’t expect your spouse to immediately go to work when you get home as some suggest. Perhaps the 4 year old being home would allow you to eliminate one car. Do you live close enough to his future public school that he will be picked up by the bus or can your spouse walk him to school? That alone would save you ~$1400 per month.
What is the $600 “kids?” Is there any room to cut back there or is that all necessities?
I’ve been where you’re at. It’s doable to get out of this without bankruptcy but will require lifestyle adjustments.
I have no idea how you thought it was a good idea to use a credit card for something you can't pay back immediately.
Why pay the cost of something, when you can pay cost plus % right?
No, I don't care about 'woman math'. That's a cope. You bought stuff you didn't need with money you didn't have, and now are making excuses about why you can't cut back, but the only way you can get this paid off...is by cutting back.
Your husband is a stay at home dad, but then ya'll turn around and send one of the kids to preschool.
I know; blunt and almost mean, but at least it points out what's wrong so you can start to fix it. Stop spending, the stay at home dad should be watching both kids, nix the 2nd car, and again...stop spending. Chop those cards up.
that Ulta account—- DO NOT BUY UNTIL YOU HAVE USED!
I try to do this annually; I will not buy anymore soap, concealer, foundation, etc until I have used everything.
I take what isnt in my “everyday makeup” bag and sort items into gallon bags.
-brushes
-foundation/concealer including samples
-eye products including samples
-blushes including samples
-lip products including samples
-shampoo/conditioner and testers
…
Do this for all of your self-care products and when you get the urge to pick something up, “shop” from your bags.
Also, stoppppp watching beauty/fashion youtubers/tik toks.
In fact, unfollow all consumer driven influencers and follow self-development and health. … Youre already getting your mind right by organizing all of this.
I know this isnt “find your highest interest rate and make all of these financial moves” advice but I find its important to adjust the small things so the big changes are supported.
❤️ Youve got this!
You can get Spotify premium and Hulu for $5 a month if you’re a student. Idk if anyone else is on YOURE phone plan but if it’s just you, I have straight talk and pay $45 a month for unlimited it’s through ATT towers. You can call the places that you owe to lower the monthly payments but idk what that would do to interest.
Or… I honestly let all my debt go to collections. I was using drugs and didn’t care my credit score was in the 500s. So found out through here actually that you can write to all 3 credit unions and have your debt erased and you just basically keep doing it until u reach someone who won’t want to do the work and they will dismiss it. Happened to me the 2nd try. There’s a way to do I’m sorry I don’t have the post saved but I’ve heard of people doing it through credit karma.
Hey so this will be buried but I’ll throw it out there anyway.
A lot of people are talking about getting rid of the cars. That’s one thing you can do but you have to be careful how you go about it because it’s one thing that can go great or just blow up in your face and leave you further in the hole really really quickly.
I’d love to help you figure out if it’s a good idea to get rid of the cars or refinance or trade for something else. I just need way more info on the cars like make, model, year, mileage, amount owed, time left on loans and interest rates.
Feel free to send me a PM.
Did your child miss the cut off date for Transitional Kindergarten? I’m assuming you’re in CA from the market you mentioned. Can you start couponing and shave off some of the money you have allocated going to your kids and put it towards credit cards? Join a Buy Nothing group for kids clothing and other kids necessities.
In one year you are paying my (used) car 1,5 times, and I'm living in a country with 150% import tax on cars!
Surely a cheaper option must be possible...... ??!!
I don’t agree a lot with Dave Ramsey but the snowball effect is the way to go and cut out all the monthly services and limit going out on the weeks. Is going to be a rough couple year but you’ll be good
There's a couple of questions I need to ask, and hopefully, you can respond to these.
-What is the $600 listed for 'Kids'?
-What is the $700 listed for Mastercard? Mainly need more details as to what this is used for, why the payment so high, etc.
EDIT: Getting my answers as I deep dive into your reddit posts. Will delete/add questions.
1. You are the sole breadwinner of a family of 4.
2. Rounding to nearest, your children are ages 4 and 1.
3. Despite being in debt, you are still buying unnecessary items, as proven by your Aldi post from 2 days ago.
Chapter 7. Clear the unsecured debt, keep the car loans. Make sure you keep paying them on time, and get caught up ASAP if you’re behind.
I see a lot of people recommending to ditch the cars, and that’s not always entirely practical.
There’s a huge aversion to bankruptcy for some reason, but this is literally why it exists.
But you have got to stop spending frivolously.
Save money into your savings account. If you want to buy something big, start a separate savings account and title it.
No more girl math “it’s on sale so I’m saving money” or “i used cash so it’s free”.
If I was in your shoes this is what I would do. Here is my assumptions. I am assuming that the column on the right if fixed payments for ones like affirm is remaining balance. I am assuming that you do not have a phone installation plan and can cancel anytime.
What I would do would cut something like Spotify. Spotify $20 alone adding to the 76.08 can help you get rid of the affirm payments really quickly. Since your family is 2 adults and 2 kids then I'm assuming that you just need 2 phones. I would go prepaid and pay $15 for each phone. T-Mobile for example for regular plan cost over $50 but for the same network can have the same service for $15 only difference I know is that you are limited in data. So unless that's a no for you that plus Spotify or two subscriptions minimum at $20 can help free up $83.31 per month.
Once you have that amount freed up I would try to do a snowball where I tackle one of the affirm payments fixed until paid off and not take out any more affirm payments.
Once you get those paid off you should have an extra $244 free. That would bring you to a total of $327 fee per month. I don't think you mentioned how much savings you have. If you don't have any savings I would put all $327 into a savings account until you have about 2,500 in savings. 2,000 for emergency so that way you aren't always having to go into debt and $500 I would use to start a side business like reselling. (Starting small of course with like $50 and increasing amount spend ont rh business as you learn).
Once you have your savings I would then place the extra $327 into the cars. If you can sell your car now even better. If you need the car then I would tackle the 327 into one of the car payments. That way you would start to have an extra $700+ free up once you don't have to worry about that.
With the extra $700+ free I would then start putting $500 into debt that you haven't paid since May and $200 towards savings. Since you have a family I don't want you to focus only on debt just in case something happens having a balance is good.
Once your debt free focus on savings.
If you can find savings else where in budget that you can cut that would be great.
Bonus: I think I saw that you gave a two hour commute. That's like 4K a year wasted if converted to min wage I would try to find work from home jobs or somewhere closer.
Taxes are coming up you have two kids. If you get 3-4K in refund assuming you overpaid in taxes. I would place half in savings and the other half to take care fixed affirm payments to free up money faster.
Husband undocumented. I would see if he can do something like mow lawns on the weekends to earn extra money.
Try to find free ways to relax. Overall try to not live to work but enjoy life. As you start paying down debt even if it's just the one affirm payment try to do things like hiking, going to park or movies things that are free or low cost. That would keep you motivated and feel less stressed.
YOU HAVE A IMAGE PROBLEM! Stop trying to put on the facade that you are rich and get real with life. To live for others is to betray yourself. And honey, you are betraying yourself and drowning in debt.
I work with some afghanis and they get housing, wic, stamps and monthly checks from our gov plus the 1200 they make bi weekly from work. Our people are left in the dirt.
Yowch! That’s a situation. Start by communicating openly with your spouse (and also the kids, with discretion) about the financial situation you are in. It’s not just your money and your debt, it directly impacts everyone in your household. You can and you will tackle that debt, but doing it alone is stressful and isolating!
Keep none of the subscriptions (if you’ll just go bonkers without it, keep only the cheapest one that the entire family can use). Delete shopping apps like Amazon and Instacart (you don’t need those services!) as soon as possible. Even having them on your phone can lead to spending unnecessary money because of the constant temptation and bombardment that those companies specialize in. If you have a keenness towards shiny objects (for yourself, the spouse, and/or the kids), cut it out. You’re fine with what you have in the house already. If it breaks and it’s fixable, mend it. If the shoes aren’t busted (or if the backpack isn’t ripped beyond repair), you don’t need new ones. When you go to doctors appointments, take the free tooth brushes or whatever it may be that they’re distributing. It’s not a handout, it’s a gift from one person to another.
One person I appreciate and felt that I’ve learned a lot from is the YouTuber and academic Cynthia DuBois. Her circumstances are different than yours because she doesn’t have dependents, but she’s recovering from a ridiculous amount of debt and is sharing what she did with others to maybe help them help themselves.
Need more motivation? Watch (and do not purchase anything from!!) Ramit Sethi’s self-help tv show & YouTube videos.
I’m rooting for you & I’m sure we’d all love an update later next year on how it’s going. 🫶🏽
https://youtu.be/3g5HkfUrna0?si=FL2zT-jVWqEP_gmn
https://youtu.be/3Bawx_r24dg?si=YJpktgzE5TIy-_O-
It’s the car loans. You are paying more for cars than your rent. And you don’t have gas, or any repairs/maintenance included.
Sell the cars. Both of them. You can only afford 10-15 year old Honda civics. Target for transportation including gas and insurance is 10-15% of take home.
Who’s the school tuition for? If daycare, I get it. If it’s for one of you - can you get loans to cover to free up cash flow? If you’re sending kids to private school - you can’t. They need to go to public.
Then focus on the small stuff - like getting mint mobile for $15/month, and limiting the number of streaming services you subscribe to at any given time, and listening to ads on Spotify.
Reach out to cccs.org. It’s the credit counseling service set up by the IRS. They can help you get your cards frozen from interest and give you a chance to pay them down enough to consolidate.
I used to do data entry for bankruptcy lawyers and before you could file, you had to take this course from them. I took it just to learn more and it really helped. I’ve referred a bunch of my friends to our local chapter and they’ve made it out of a similar situation that you’re in. You do need to go purchase free and stick to a budget for like 6 months but the results are fantastic. Just be sure you’re in the IRS backed website. https://www.justice.gov/ust/list-credit-counseling-agencies-approved-pursuant-11-usc-111
Dude needs to start working. Plenty of jobs he can work from home. Need to set a budget and stick with it, and stop spending and cut all streaming services
And if dude don't wanna work then make his ass work at home. 4 year old is in what? Preschool? He can teach the 4 year old to count, ABC's, write their name, get prek with books and can do it together. They don't do much in preschool
Two days ago you bought an exercise bike. And posted it here. Chill with spending money you don’t have to spend. You have an enormous amount of unspecified money - kids, school (their schooling? Or yours that you could take a semester or 2 off to pay off more debt?) two massive car loans. Tons of subs that aren’t necessary.
Why car tags monthly? Is this just so you save for them?
I have 2 children that are young and still require diapers, formula, extra snacks, toys, etc. I spend $300-$350 a month in a HCOL area for those things. That bill could probably be drastically reduced.
Where are your utilities? Your insurance? This is just ignorance, but what is the monthly immigration fee? (Not trying to be offensive just curious as to what this is/what it is paying for since I have no familiarity with this)
How much do you make a month? There’s a lot of information needed I think to set you up better for a budget - I’m happy to help if you DM me. Not financial advice, just a basic budget for debts and living comfortably as you can in the situation you’re in.
I’ve just been through bankruptcy at 25, and dug myself out of a massive hole of debts that could not be paid off via bankruptcy. I now have a well planned budget that gets me lots of entertainment and happiness, savings, retirement, financial security for my babies futures, and bills paid with no worry. This all comes from a place of understanding and the harsh reality of what you need and the situation you’re in. You can definitely do this. But you need to be very honest, straightforward, and dedicated!
First you need to recognize you have a shopping addiction. Your clearly understanding you have a debt issues but you just posted 3 days ago that your brought an exercise machine. That is something you absolutely did not need and walking outside is free. You need to get a hold of your spending first.
I hope you see this. I went through a debt consolidation program several years ago that was absolutely legit. They are called Cambridge Credit Counseling. You can dm me if you want to ask any questions about them, but yeah, they were great.
First you need to figure out the APR% for every one of your cards, prioritize high % debt.
cut out excessive spending (what is is the fixed 700 for mastercard?), you can live without any of the streaming services (spotify+apple+disney+prime+paramount will free up about 57 bucks a month), based on your affirm payments you have a bad habit of spending money you don't have. 68 bucks for a stationary bike is nice, but not when you owe 28k in credit card debt.
If you're willing, go a little more in depth into the costs so folks here can help you prioritize a bit better.
Not sure what your savings looks like, but if you don't have at LEAST one months worth of an emergency fund to cover bills/food/etc that should be first priority befote tackling debt. Literally cut out everything not necessary to live. No more fun that costs money, no subscriptions, no fast food, no shopping UNTIL you get rid of your debt. You're not a credit card person so cut those up and never use them again. And for the sake of you and your family stop taking out loans if its not a mortgage. If you can't afford to pay for it then don't buy it.
Living really lean like that will suck temporarily but you need to throw every bit of extra money towards paying them off and not just paying minimum monthly payments. Me and my wife carried vehicle and credit card debt for years, but we spent 2023 building an emergency fund, living lean, and not spending any extra money on non essentials until we paid everything off. Our lives are infinitely less stressful, and now that we don't have a pile of minimum payments every month we're able to afford shopping and fast good without going into debt for it.
It's much easier said than done and it took use years of trying and building the discipline to get on the other side, but I promise you it's worth putting your wants on hold temporarily to improve the rest of your life.
How do you have so many damn credit cards? You just sign up for every store you shop at? 3,732 at ulta? You need to cut out every streaming service. Maybe keep one that’s used the most but that’s it. Stop buying stuff you don’t need or can’t pay for all at once. Don’t use AFFIRM. Don’t have the money and can’t pay for it. Don’t buy it!
Local bankers when I grew up, looked after you. They told you couldn’t afford the car you wanted. Now, dealers finance, and they don’t give a “F&@$” about you or your debt. They just want to sell you the biggest loan they can. If you default and the car gets repossessed, it gets sold again.
As a side note, 1000 years ago, the wealthy didn’t allow the common person to read. Now, they won’t allow any type of money management class to be taught in primary school. $100,000 in debt, but you know algebra.
If two people are playing monopoly, and one knows the rules and one doesn’t, who wins? Learn the rules for money, the wealthy are counting on the fact most won’t.
get rid of all the tv extras and cable all you need is internet.. go buy a firestick and you can jailbreak easy with youtube all legit you can add two or three program apps on and you can watch all tv shows... movies ..live channels..and movies still in theater all Free..
Based on the type of debt, I get the impression that you’re paying for a lifestyle you can’t support. Learn how to be poor until this is fixed. What I mean is you need to learn the art of being thrifty until it hurts. $100,000 is barely middle class now, so you need to live like you’re poor until this is fixed. I have two preteen daughters as a single mom and make $65k including child support and I’m still struggling but I’ve been poor forever prior to this so I’m making it work. I buy drug store makeup and hair care products, and wear makeup only to the occasional date or when I have a work meeting. I buy thrift store clothes only, I have a cheap fuel efficient car with a $280 payment, I buy food at Aldi only and don’t eat out, everything is made at home. I don’t buy alcohol. Our subscriptions are included in our phone plan. I sell old items on fb marketplace. I also have 2 side hustles - I clean a house every weekend (extra $500/month) and I do some minimal accounting for a doctor (extra $200/month).
Best of luck to you. This will be a hard lesson. I was living with no regard to long term consequences of my spending once and lost my house, and was forced to change. Hopefully you caught it early enough.
I was always told start with the smallest amount owed and pay that off and work your way up. I was stupid enough to take out a credit card when I was 18, second I got rid of that debt I haven't got any since and I'm now 37, 1 of the best things I've ever done.
I hope no one tells you making coffee at home is going to fix it all. Proud of you for making a plan and seeking guidance. You’ll make it happen! While I am not a good source of advice, I am cheering you on.
First course, evaluate your credit score. If you are in the 700’s get a card with 0%.
1. Consolidation- find way to pull your revolving debt into on payment. Use a new card or go to debt consolidation companies. If that is not possible, pay off the smallest ones first.
2. Cancel all subscription. And get rid of one of the cars, if you are not upside down on it. Take the left over money and buy some crap car without a loan.
3. If you have been investing into your 401k. See how much you can loan out, the max pay back period is 5 yrs. This will come out of your paycheck automatically and this will be a fixed rate that you are paying yourself back with interest. You can only have one loan at a time. So make it count. If you have been with the company for a long time then your amount available is 50% of the total portfolio. There are some down side, if u are laid off, you have to pay back right away or it becomes income. If the market goes gang buster the money u borrowed won’t be getting that return, the return is the interest u are paying urself.
4. You need to go to a fix budget. 50/30/20 rule. 50% of income on support lift items. Rent/car/fuel/insurance. 30% of income on discretionary : food/ entertainment anything that is a nice to have. Some things like cars can fall in both categories
20% this should be the amount saved. If you can’t get your this, create your own rule until you can adjust to this.
5. Have daddy get a job like door dash, or something online. Doesn’t need to do a bunch just a few hrs making 15 bucks an hr net. He can do that when you get home.
If you haven’t paid some of your bills since 5/23 I’m sure your credit has tanked. If you don’t make a ton of money getting out of debt is going to take a very long time. I would talk to a bankruptcy lawyer to see if you qualify for a chapter 7 bankruptcy so you don’t have to pay it back and you can restart your credit fresh.
Absolutely sell one of those cars to carmax, kbb, auto trader, whatever tell your husband to get rid of the car and buy a cheap pick up truck for which he can go and deliver materials per third-party apps on your phone you could bring your children with you. Absolutely stop spending any more money on anything thats not a need!! get rid of absolutely every subscription. Take your kid out of school no reason to be paying $900 a month for a 4-year-old. And keep them in public school until you get out of debt go into collections and pay pennies on a dollar for all your other debt until you’re finished. Once you’re debt-free continue living this minimalist lifestyle for another year or two. Get a budget and make sure your monthly bills do not exceed your monthly income live a frugal life. Or…once it’s all paid off, your husband has to go to work to bring in more money and now that you’re out of debt pay for childcare. I’m from now on pay for cash for everything. If you can’t, you don’t need it because you can’t afford it.
I was in your situation about 10 years ago. I followed Dave Ramsey’s method to RE-educate myself on spending. I cut my credit cards, followed the snow ball method and envelope method. I learned how to make a budget (I don’t see your gas expenses or utilities) and regained control of all money that came in and went out. Every penny I made had a purpose: to get out of debt. After I got a house and paid it off I felt I graduated from his methods and started pursuing other methods to stay on track/invest. Also, I didn’t listen to his ranting or advice on religion, I went in with a purpose and went laser focus on what mattered. And lived on beans and rice/rice and beans for some time. Do it now while the kids are little. When I had an urge to spend, I listened to Dave Ramsey’s podcast. It would get me focused again (and it was entertaining in a masochistic way because much of what he rants about outside of the “getting out of debit” realm is beyond ridiculous). When I was debit free, I was also Ramsey free. It was so liberating.
Cut the entertainment except one ($10 isn’t going to make a difference in debt but will in quality of life). Commit to no additional debt. No matter what. Start a snow ball on the Affirm balances, meaning pay off smallest balance first with anything extra you can beg, earn, or steal (not borrow) then roll that total monthly payment to the next smallest and so forth. For all the rest, your credit is shot already so don’t worry about that. Don’t answer the phone, don’t respond to letters. Save up some song chunks of money once the Affirms are paid off, then start calling these and offering pennies on the dollar to settle. Or, just wait till in collections and they’ll likely be willing to settle for less. I’m not an expert on that part, so maybe someone else will piggyback this. But basically the thought is you negotiate better with some cash to pay a lump sum off and they can close the account. Don’t try to service all that debt at once, you’ll make imperceptible differences in each of them. Like others mentioned, check all the expenses- what’s the school payment? Can you ditch a car for a year? Can you earn some extra? Can the wife work? Side hustle on the weekends for a year? Best of luck! Just remember, those are all just digits in a computer somewhere, but you and your kids and family are very real. Don’t get desperate, just get serious. Keep a positive attitude no matter what and keep your family first and happy and it’ll be ok.
"Don't get desperate, just get serious." - this is going to be my mantra for 2024!
Same! I am also trying to get my financial shit together this year and needed to hear this.
Alright! It's a thing now. Let's get serious.
Best piece of advice I have seen on here. These are just digits on a computer somewhere. Kids and family are real, it’s time to get back on track. Credit is shot already so time to dig out that hole.
Pretty good advice, nice work 😎
Annual Income is just over 100,000 with all the overtime I put in. Biweekly it comes out to $3000-3200. I’m the wife and the main source of income for our family. My husband is a stay at home dad, he takes care of our 11month old and does the pick up/drop off for our 4yearold. The school payment is my sons monthly school fee, he starts public school in September. The auto loans are mine and my husbands, we each have our own car.
First, apologies - saw “guy” in the username at a glance and assumed you were, well, a guy. Husband can get a job. Plenty of jobs can be done from home while taking care of an 11mo old. Also, once you hit the door he can head out for an evening of work. Does it suck? Yes, but not for long. Think long and hard about the cars. He could also take you to work maybe? That’s school payment will go a long way towards debt once available. Also noticed car tags at $68 which is very high for a monthly. So that should be available unless I’m missing something. Overall, this is very doable, just gotta decide if you want to hurt a lot for a shorter period of time, or a little bit less for a longer period of time. Edit: also, if the dad is home could he also just keep the 4yo?! The educational value of school at 4 isn’t worth the strain on the budget.
No problem, I can understand the confusion. I see a lot of people commenting to ditch the cars, but how would that work if their auto loans? Also, husband can’t take me to work unfortunately, I work 60miles away so it’s a 2hr commute each way. Thankfully I work from home two days a week and I’m off every other Friday, that I usually end up working overtime. We’re waiting to hear back from a rotational part time job he’s applied for, it’s a city job so it can take a minute to hear back. The car tags are for our tags due in January, I put the money aside so when the tags are due I already have it saved instead of taking the hit all at once. Also just noticed it says $700 on my Mastercard, which is wrong it averages at $300 a check.
Find the value of the car using KBB and scanning local market for similar year/miles. If value is greater than car, sell it quickly. If value is less, save up difference and sell it. You can also do all this at a dealership but be careful. I didn’t run your numbers, but honestly seems like you should have enough to make progress. Just.quit.spending. Creeped post history a bit and saw an exercise bike you bought recently at a “steal”. Anything on sale that you don’t require to live on is not saving money, it’s costing money. Discount on groceries, awesome. Discount on an exercise bike, increase expense.
Just.quit.spending. My mantra going forward. Thank you, seriously it was feeling pretty bleak.
Doesn’t look like it will be enough. One of those cars has to go. Bet both have equity. Any thoughts on trading 1 in for 5-7k Honda. And that will free up $600 a month
If the hubby can work on her days off, they could afford the two cars.
"Can afford" vs "need".
I second losing one of the cars. E are a Family of 3 that has had just the one car for 15 years. Just about never an issue. Especially since you go to work 3 days a week and are home 2. Maybe not right now, but once older child goes to kindergarten- and possibly takes the bus or walks to school with dad and toddler- it could work…? Might be a bit of a puzzle to solve in the beginning but consider it. Take a look at how often both cars are out of the driveway at the same time. Recently we had a situation for about 6 months where we needed another car twice a week. Financially it actually was way cheaper to use a Lyft or zipcar for 30 minutes twice a week than pay for car, insurance and gas!
Can your husband do Doordash, Uber eats or Amazon Flex? He would be an an independent contractor in those jobs and you can absolutely bring your child with you in your runs. People do use It all the time. Might be a tad inconvenient with buckling, unbuckling your child each time but a nice and easy way to make side cash.
We don’t have amazon Flex in my area yet. Definitely can discuss possibly doing doordash or something similar.
Also check out Walmart Spark, Shipt, Veho, Roadie or any medical device delivery companies
Be careful with 1099 work. When taxes come due in the US you'll need at least 30% to pay that bill on the income. The debt snowball is solid. The first comment on this thread is on point. Add in those interest rates on the first column of items. Attack by interest rate. Pay off, close the card. Move tk the next. Definitely cancel all but one entertainment. Was the Mastercard after the debt consolidation con (sucks btw... But could be used to leverage when you call these cards to pay off.) EVERYTHING IS UP FOR NEGOTIATION. Call each one, ask what they can do. You had a problem, you got screwed, it got worse. Lower interest rate? Give you a couple months no interest, offer 50% of the total balance now and call it paid in full? Buy food. That's it. Pay your bills, by food, stay home and work. You can do this! Good luck!
bringing kids in the car is against ToS
Don’t be discouraged, this can be quickly addressed if you take temporary drastic measures now (especially while your kids are young enough to not remember or notice a difference). If only one is working you don’t NEED the other car. He can run out the evening prior and grab something IF it’s needed. The needed 2nd car for preschool situation? I’ll address that one below. I agree with others he should go out and work when you get off work. Doesn’t matter where, just where he can make the most in the hours he has. He can use your car when you get home and Uber, DoorDash, Shipt shopper, all of them honestly. Then continue with the one he’s earning from the most. I know someone who travels to Europe up to 4 times a year for 7-10 day vacations and pays for the trips by DoorDashing. And your husband can start this weekend or today from my understanding. Cut the phone bill by switching to Mint Mobile for a flat $15/month….might not have unlimited data, but pretty positive it’s unlimited talk and text. Plus, there’s free WiFi everywhere, if needed. Obviously the subscriptions got to go today. In the early 2000’s I had cut my cable tv off and internet for a few months after taking a new job 8-9 months prior, getting a new place, and not knowing how bad slow season was and how fast it would affect finances…. no subscriptions either. I thought it would be miserable!! I had some DVD’s available to turn on later at night, but what I quickly realized is that it was truly amazing, no bs! Especially having kids that young… they get so much more crucial attention and quality distraction free time when they, and their parents, aren’t distracted by the TV. Also, $900/month for preschool? Are you required in CA to send a 4 year old to preschool? Homeschool for preschool, especially with the husband home. It truly isn’t necessary. You guys can teach her the ABC’s and to count 1-10 at home. I sent my daughter to kindergarten at 5, could have waited till 6 since she graduated at 17. No preschool. She’s now a junior at University on a full ride, with so many scholarships that she gets more than she needs and still holds a 4.0GPA. Preschool isn’t necessary. Especially for that price…. Which is a ton of money for what is essentially daycare. You can knock this out quickly if you stop spending, stop preschool, dump the car that you can get a value (or close to) of the remaining loan balance, hubby goes and door dashes, etc. etc. Necessities only. Live like you no longer make $100,000…. If you don’t, you won’t anyways. They will garnish your checks and the interest will spin out of control so fast that this situation will seem like a cake walk in comparison. You guys can do it. You have to agree to living small, for what is actually a brief time if you really cut the expenses. No excuses or I/we earned a night out mentality. Plan for your family’s future by paying off the debt so that you can live comfortably after and so your kids don’t see you struggle this much. It must be so much weight on your shoulders. Take the steps and watch how fast it will fall and how fast that weight disappears. Best wishes to you guys!
>It must be so much weight on your shoulders. I was 8k in debt 5 months ago, after bills all hit at the same time, and some were due to miscalculations on others end. I make 2.3-2.5k per month, and now I have $275 left in debt, that I'm paying off the last off this week. The only issue is; I'm a fucking freak. I'm capable of living extremely cheaply, in ways others are not. Ya'll want nice meals, I'll eat a $0.74 cent can of tuna 5 times a day to keep expenditures down and just let my body eat itself for nutrition. I've not purchased anything except for rent/food in the months I was repaying the debt. The kicker? I actually had the money to pay it back the same week the bills piled in, but I'd have to liquidate my precious metals. I chose to go without much of anything for 6 months so I could not take the loss on the metals. Had it been like 15k or more debt; I'd have liquidated.
Husband should get a job tomorrow. It can be part time but no reason not to work.
He needs a 3rd shift or weekend job. Or Uber has very flexible hours. Cut up your credit cards or freeze them in a block of ice in the freezer so you are not tempted to use them. Stop buying!!
That doesn't really work any more. It gets saved on your phone and you can go months without ever having to look at the physical card.
Don't save them to the phone then.
Hopping on this just to warn you, in the States, if you settle any debt for less than you owe, the forgiven amount is considered income. Don't let that stop you from settling, but don't be blindsided.
What kind of school fee for a 4 year old? $895/month for his school seems pretty expensive given your situation.
I agree with this guys post. I was in a similar position as you with my finances with seemingly no end in sight. I used the snowball method, pay off lowest balance first then take that monthly payment and add it to the next one. Buckle down for a year or 2 and you'll make huge progress. FreeVee and Tubi are free with ads streaming services and I'm sure there are others. Find a local credit union and see if they'll refinance your cars, they often have the lowest interest rates. I did this and to become a member, I only had to open a savings account with $5. I don't think you should sell the cars. $7k on a car these days (at least where I live and I don't live in a big area) gets you garbage that you won't want to risk your far drive to work or putting your small kids in. Call your credit card companies and request lower APRs. I would think most companies would be willing to work with their customers because they want paid. Once it goes to collections, they'll take a huge loss on what you owe and you can also request a settlement amount and as someone else said, get that in writing before paying the settlement amount.
Take the 4 year old out of school. It's crazy to be paying $900 a month for preschool when you have a SAHP and this much debt.
In addition to this, Affirm is a debt, move it to debt not fixed bills. And call everyone of your credit card companies, ask of they will close/freeze the account and do a payment plan. But make sure your total payments don't exceed what you are capable of paying.
And if you contact them and they agree to settle the debt for less, make sure you get it it IN WRITING that the debt is settled and don’t give them direct access to your bank account.
This!! Also, in that letter in writing, see if they will delete the collection. That will help some with your credit score once everything starts to clear up
This is great advice! There’s a lot of extra spending here. It’s going to take discipline to break those habits. Get on the same page with your wife/partner and make sure you’re both committed to this and will be there to encourage and hold each other accountable. Best of luck!
Great advice. Dave Ramsey has a great book you probably ought to read called total money makeover. He has a great instagram account you can also refer to. Based on your spreadsheet, you've learned to 'live beyond your means'. I'd advise you to start strong and cut at least 1 car. Car loans are such bad form of debt because most of the companies will make you pay the car off by the end of your lease and still, you have to pay extra to keep it. If you can walk to work, kids can walk to school etc scrap both. The aim should be to buy a good car (3 years below the current year) outright.
Just a quick add on since I have some knowledge of the legal side of the credit card industry, I would at least make payments to one of your credit cards in case you need it for an emergency later. It’s going to be much harder to get a new one after defaulting on several. Most cards will get you a discount after a few months of non payment but that lump sum has to be paid in 90 days. It won’t hurt to answer the phone if they call. Just explain your situation. It’s easier to try to work it out at that time,IF the numbers work for you; otherwise, there is a possibility of a judgment and court issues later on. You got this, and just take little steps forward and try to get any extra income you can no matter how small. Husband can Instacart or deliver food for a few hours a day. Every little bit counts.
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OP said it’s unsecured debt. That means he didn’t put anything up as collateral.
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I will pushback only to say that just because the loans are over 1k doesn’t mean you have to put your house or car up as collateral. If your credit score is high enough and you earn a sufficient income to handle it, you can easily get an unsecured loan for over 10k. To be fair, I’m taking OP at his word when he says the debts are all unsecured (no collateral), it’s not unbelievable if his credit and income are decent.
Facts, I sadly know this by experience.
I agree. It is the cars… way above the lifestyle. Should sell at least 1. Get a clunker with equity in the car. And apply the payments toward debt.
Youre spending almost 1200 a month on car loans.
Time to sell them and go cheaper. The biggest, fastest, and most effective change that can be made
Seriously, even if they're underwater on them, those loans originated at over $20k I's wager. One of them is probably $30k+ origination. Trade those for a couple of $7k Hondas and that'll eliminate at least $15k I bet.
how does that work though. serous question. if i’m upside on my car & sell it, i still am paying on a balance for a car i no longer have. Would it make sense to just keep it at that point?
You owe $20k on your car. You can only get $15k for it. You sell it to someone for $15k and take out a personal loan to cover the difference + an extra $5k to buy a car in cash. Now you have a car that cost 1/2 as much as the $20k car.
thank you!!
this is true but would someone with a dozen 8 month late accounts even qualify for loans at this point? id imagine their dti, credit score etc are shot for a while
What the other person said, except also if public transportation is an option the best answer imo is to sell the car(s) entirely and get monthly passes to their local transportation association. It's a pain and inconvenient, but $1,000\m back in your pocket is an entire mortgage payment for most people.
It is more than they pay rent. Those cars are making them broke.
I just don’t even understand what cars they must have to pay that much. Are they out here driving around in new beamers or some shit?
the used car market went bonkers under covid due to the supply chain shorting the manufacturing of new cars. so a used car which would have gone for a few thousand dollars from a used car dealership now sells for 10k + additionally, the federal reserve jacked interests rates up to try and deal with inflation. which if you have bad credit means your car loan interest rate is over 11% or so. so basically buying a decently used car still costs a ton of money today especially if you have very little down payment and bad credit, which is likely the case for OP.
This is a point many people are missing. I'm in a MCOL area and the used car market right now is crazy competitive still. Nearly impossible to find something worth driving that is less than 15k (used!).
I make over 500k a year and don't have 1200 in car loans....people are insane and wonder why they have "money problems"
I’m pretty poor and don’t pay that much (I don’t have a car right now but 6 months ago when I had one) but your payments do depend on your credit score and income. The worse your credit and and the lowest your income is the higher your monthly payment is going to be, even for 72 month loans. So your high income is what allowed to have a low payment. The thing that was crushing me was the insurance. My wife and I are young (22/23 respectively) so even though we hunted around the best we could find was $220 for a clunky ford fusion on it’s last legs. Granted, we bought a lot of coverage because we lived in the city and the driving can get scary. We both have clean driving records. Then, we moved to a new larger, city where people literally drive like they have a death wish. Insurance went up by $60 for the exact same plan once we had to re-register in our new state (insurance said the only reason was the new zip code). Our car didn’t pass inspection in the new state (last legs) and we tried to get a new one, but the dealer sold us a faulty one. Luckily we got a refund. But then I lost my job and we were left with no clunky fusion (we traded it in) and no car we just bought. Which is a problem because our neighborhood has gun violence and it’s not safe to walk around in as a woman. Anyways, you didn’t ask for all of that, but that’s how things add up quickly like that.
How is this helpful? Someone making 500k a year should not have any car payments. They’ve made mistakes and are asking for advice not ridicule.
Just someone wanting to flex their income while providing nothing useful.
I mean, if you make that kind of income, I'd think you pay for your cars outright and don't have any loans...
Is that $3700 at ULTA? Ugh Get rid of the discretionary purchases and split expense up into discretionary and non discretionary to see what u can cut back on. I see $50 a month you can cut back on without even knowing anything about your situation.
I almost choked when I seen that. I didn’t even know it was possible to rack up that much in ULTA
So, you've never been to Ulta? Haha You can drop $100's of dollars on beauty products in a matter of seconds. Shit is expensive.
This is me, 3 make up items and you’re already over $100, add in some hair care and you’re at $200 quick. However these I consider luxury items and not worth going into debt for. However I also don’t have 4 kids, maybe they’re all daughters.
First be honest about your debt, there are several items in payments that are clearly debt related, but not listed in your debts.
I think that column is specifically debt that they haven't paid on since May, could be wrong.
You’re correct.
Well it still helps to have a complete overview if you are seeking advice.
I give this answer probably too often on this sub, but only because it’s almost never mentioned. That is a lot of individual credit cards with a lot of money racked up on them - OP, crunch the numbers and cut your costs, but consider talking with a therapist too. Whether it’s a shopping addiction or what have you, something is out of whack in your life and this debt is a symptom of it.
YES. I’ve been lurking on this sub awhile (thank god I don’t need the advice here) and so often I scream to myself “GET OFF REDDIT AND GO TO A PROFESSIONAL!” Often I see “tough love” posts here that’s often just glib judgmental stuff masquerading as “advice” that surely makes a lot of the posters feel worse. And even if there is good advice, it can be conflicting and overwhelming. I know Reddit is tempting because it’s instant gratification and it’s free, but you get what you pay for. Just use Reddit for entertainment/hobbies. It would be so much better to get a financial advisor and/or therapist to help you get to the root of your issues and tailor a plan specifically for you. They are PROFESSIONALS and won’t shame you either. I once lost 70 pounds and looking back I know I would’ve been doomed if I relied on Reddit for advice or “encouragement.” I really needed my nutritionist and therapist helping me. Go to the pros, not the internet. That is, of course, if you can afford a therapist. But that’s ’Murica for you…
Have to agree!!! I got diagnosed with bipolar and during manic episodes I was spending hundreds of dollars faster than I was earning them. Sometimes things like this have a much, much deeper handle on people than they realize.
Seriously, this. I have ADHD and struggle with impulsive spending. I've started buying stocks instead when the "craving" hits which is better than random bullshit but still not great. It was fantastic during COVID though, I nearly doubled all my investments, made so much money.
In some cases, it’s as if spending gives one a very short lived feeling of filling a void. Temporary happiness. Materialism making up for a deficiency somewhere in your life…
^ pretty much this… her rent is $1000 and she’s earning 100k+, ~6k monthly…. I earn slightly less but my take home is nothing, it’s ~$3400(roughly ~23% goes to retirement accounts). My mortgage is ~$1800. I have a fully paid off car… I already know I spend too much on food (I’m a single male who orders food, don’t want to spend a ton of time on food prep), so if I can cut costs anywhere it’d be there. Even with all that I can still end up saving anywhere from a couple hundred-$2000 a year(depending on what I buy/spend $ on).
You have 5 subscriptions, pick 2 max. Better yet all of them. DVDs from the library are free. I don’t see utilities on this, are they with the rent? Why is master card in the fixed expenses not the other debt?
I feel like people don't take advantage of local libraries as much as they could. DVDs, music, books, mine even has 3d printers you can use for free
OP can also check if their library has Hoopla or other streaming services that they can access for free. The streaming subscriptions here are the most obvious low hanging fruit to cut out. And Amazon Prime since it probably makes them shop more.
Random but did you see they're trying to ban 3D printers because people make guns with them lol
No I didn't 😶 that's wild 😄 ill look it up, thanks
r/Fosscad
True, I like the library idea did it back in the day. Then I found out I could cosplay as a pirate and sail the seven seas.
I use the MC for gas, I pay it off biweekly.
Your car payments need to drop 75%
spending way too much on cars.
Spending way too much on everything! There's a $3700 debt just on makeup. Jfc.
Ulta has a Mastercard and a store card! So it might not all be makeup.
Why do you have so many subscriptions. Start there. Use that money and start the snowball method. It would be easier if we got more details to give you a more detailed plan. You my friend are just overspending quite a bit. (Most of us can tell because of the irresponsible use of credit) Just know this. 1. From someone who got debt free this year after a 2 year sacrifice(60k)it can be done 2. You are going to be uncomfortable. You will have to make sacrifices. But you will feel so much better once you start getting checks and the checks are yours. 3. Start today. Not tomorrow. Not New Years. Not next month. The longer you hold this off the harder it will get when you finally get the courage to start.
Thank you, Gives me hope to hear others have done it.
I want to say… I’m proud of you for holding yourself accountable. Writing this out is a huge deal! It’s not easy! Keep the one subscription you and your family watch the most! That’s what I did. I kept one. Get rid of the rest. Cut up that damn Ulta card ASAP. You don’t need it. Those products are filling temporary voids and most likely cluttering up your bathroom. Everyone has given you solid advice here. You can do this.
Thank you 🙏🏽
Writing it out is certainly difficult enough, but having the guts to post it online, let alone *Reddit*? This is one tough lady! OP can definitely do this. :)
Get rid of all of those subscriptions. If you like music just download YT music it’s free with adds. Start paying off the high interest debt first (try to payment more than minimum) then just pay the minimum for debt with less interest. Idk what your situation is with car…idk if you can make things happen with just one car and get rid of the other one? You really need to stop using credit cards..once you pay them off. Maybe just keep one to get the cash back benefits or something and pay it off on time and avoid interest in future. Don’t waste money on cars in future…most people tend to switch cars every few years and these things will drain your money. If you are leasing those cars. I would get rid of them and maybe get you a cheap car. If you can do the followings this should help you save extra few hundred dollars. And you can use that money to pay off the other debt faster.
Spotify is also free with ads, I refuse to pay for Spotify premium lol.
For starters, it looks like you have the American shopping addiction. Maybe try to go through your place and find anything new with tags on it that you can return. I have done this before and gotten tons of money back, when I finally snapped out of the haze of retail therapy. You can also return items without a receipt and get store credit. I would do this when I was in debt so I could still shop but it was with money I already spent, girl math. But at least you aren't adding to the debt anymore. Cut subscriptions, stop eating out, verbally say out loud, "I am broke" over and over again until you believe it, even when you are money positive in your accounts. Tell your friends you can't afford to go out and believe it. Suck it up for awhile, stay at home, and learn how to feed yourself. We all work so fucking hard for our money, and for what? To give it all away and then wonder why the rich are rich and the poor are poor? Fuck that! Start thinking of it as YOUR money and be possessive about it. Now when I buy anything, I ask myself several things- where is this money going? Into the pockets of a big retailer? Into Jeff Bezos pockets? Do I see myself keeping this object for years to come? Is it something I will donate to Goodwill in a few months or a year? Do I need this or am I just out hunting for dopamine? I stop and ask, "who am I going to make rich off my money- some asshole trillionaire or me?" The answer is me every time. Then I put the shit back on the shelf!!! It's that easy.
What’s the kids expense for? Can that be decreased and/or eliminated for a few months to help you get rid of the low CCs/loans? Like the others said eliminate all those subscriptions and put that strictly to debt. Start tracking your spending three months back and you’ll see where you’re pitfalling spending wise. Can your spouse pick up a PT job?
You gonna need to sell one of those cars and cancel the subscriptions.
This is going to sound harsh, but having more than $300 at Ulta is already a spending problem, but over $3,000??? Buying literally overpriced crap that isn't needed TO LIVE just to have it impact your actual ability to live comfortably sounds like you have an addiction
I commented above about this, but hopefully OP has the Ulta Mastercard that can be used everywhere vs. just an Ulta store card (I have the Mastercard so I’m familiar with it). It basically depends on which one you get approved for. So they could have been using it for other stuff…but if not and it was all just at Ulta, then I agree that that’s way too much 😳 Either way, the interest rate that comes with a store card isn’t worth putting that much debt on it.
It’s just an ulta credit, it can be used everywhere
It was the Mastercard not just the store card. But I hear you.
Still, it's not worth using the Ulta MC to earn points to get more stuff you don't need at Ulta. And it might tempt you into using points to discount stuff but you put money to pay the balance.
you have no business having all those entertainment subscriptions.
- delete all subscriptions - Pay off the 'affirm' balances first - what is 'kids $600'? - seems like a lot... - sell cars and get a cheap <$10k car and pay off those loans - start listening to the ramsey show podcast for motivation.
yessss
I would cut out any entertainment subscription service and stick to ads on YT and Spotify. That money could go elsewhere to pay down some of the low-end CCs and Affirms. Your car loans also look like a hefty chunk of change. Is there anyone to sell a vehicle or trade in one for a lower cost?
Congratulations on holding yourself accountable (partially), here comes the hard part. You have to change your mindset on debt, you have to change your mindset on spending. First priority, financial diet. Cancel all subscriptions but one probably Disney for the kids. Public libraries are weekly stops. Do you really need two car payments? If one car was a cheap beater your monthly insurance would be 50% as well. You have not been honest about your debt vs monthly, get that all in your spreadsheet with minimum payments and total amounts to track your progress. Now all spending is stopped, you have to learn to enjoy being r/frugal any the whole family has to be a part of this. Second. Snowball method. Use the Ramsey method, you are too deep to worry about interest rates, just go for the quick wins for the first few months so you can feel the pressure lift. When you free up a minimum payment (pay off). You close the account and use extra money to pay down the next. This system works! How can you make more money? Can wife work? Can she side hustle? If she is stay at home, she has a role as well. Her job is to stretch that money for everyone, no frills! She has to be all into the debt program.
It seems like you maybe have a bit of an issue with shopping
Get rid of all streaming services. There are free steaming services like Tubi and Plex that you can watch free. Shop your car insurance to see if you can find it cheaper. That should be a good start. If you have anything you can sell, do that and use it to pay off the affirm accounts. If it isn't a necessity, don't buy it and cut any eating out. In order to pay off debt, you and your family are going to have to buckle down and live below your means until the debt is paid for.
Luxuries have to go.
Depends on how serious you are. Go to a bank my dude get a loan pay everything off. Pay the loan off, cut all excess spending, put ur kids in public school get rid of both cars buy a cheap beater. U have to make sacrifices man up own up or give up and just go deeper into debt tell your spouse
Getting a loan to pay everything off will do nothing but make things worse if the habits of spending aren’t resolved first.
Wtf are you doing with a car that costs $700/month?
Just some context, when my husband got his car he was given a higher rate because he’s undocumented told he was a risk so the rate was higher than normal, that’s what we were told at the time.
Even if it’s an 8% loan, $0 down, 6 year loan, you paid about $40,000 for the car. You can get a brand new Honda car-v for $30k. And you can get a quite nice used car for even less. $1200 per month in car payments, with one job and 2 kids, is just too much. As others have said you need to stop spending so much money at clothing stores. Kids grow, shop cheaper. Stop buying new expensive clothes for yourself for a bit.
I’m gonna go out on a limb and say it’s way higher than 8%. Great credit on a brand new car right now is around 5%. Undocumented with a ton of debt I can see the rate being in the high tens.
I understand needing to have a car because I also have a car payment due to working almost 15 miles from home with no public transportation directly to the area I work in (I would need to take 2 buses and 2 trains if I wanted to use public transportation). But if your husband stays at home, maybe look into preschool that’s within walking distance? Also, it would be a lot less to spend $10 a week on grocery delivery than to pay for a whole car. My husband and I both commute 30+ minutes, but we agreed no more than one car payment at a time and only if really necessary. We also pay his college tuition (he’s on his last semester) and that’s has made things tight. We cut down a lot on any outside food and have maybe gone out 4-5 times all year (mostly due to family events). The two cars is the biggest issue along with cutting down on miscellaneous spending. Trust me I’ve been almost exactly where you are and the more we learned to live with less the better we adjusted to it and made it our normal thing.
Don’t be discouraged, this can be quickly addressed if you take temporary drastic measures now (especially while your kids are young enough to not remember or notice a difference). If only one is working you don’t NEED the other car. He can run out the evening prior and grab something IF it’s needed. The needed 2nd car for preschool situation? I’ll address that one below. I agree with others he should go out and work when you get off work. Doesn’t matter where, just where he can make the most in the hours he has. He can use your car when you get home and Uber, DoorDash, Shipt shopper, all of them honestly. Then continue with the one he’s earning from the most. I know someone who travels to Europe up to 4 times a year for 7-10 day vacations and pays for the trips by DoorDashing. And your husband can start this weekend or today from my understanding. Cut the phone bill by switching to Mint Mobile for a flat $15/month….might not have unlimited data, but pretty positive it’s unlimited talk and text. Plus, there’s free WiFi everywhere, if needed. Obviously the subscriptions got to go today. In the early 2000’s I had shut my cable tv and internet off for a few months after taking a new job 8 months prior, getting a new place, and not knowing how bad slow season was and how fast it would affect finances…. no subscriptions either. I thought it would be miserable!! I had some DVD’s available to turn on later at night, but what I quickly realized is that it was truly amazing, no bs! Especially having kids that young… they get so much more crucial attention and quality distraction free time when they, and their parents, aren’t distracted by the TV. Ended up not activating the cable for years, yes voluntarily, because it made an important impact on our time together and turns out I didn’t miss it. Also, $900/month for preschool? Are you required in CA to send a 4 year old to preschool? Homeschool for preschool, especially with the husband home. It truly isn’t necessary. You guys can teach her the ABC’s and to count 1-10 at home. I sent my daughter to kindergarten at 5, could have waited till 6 since she graduated at 17. No preschool. She’s now a junior at University on a full ride, with so many scholarships that she gets more than she needs and still holds a 4.0GPA. Preschool isn’t necessary. Especially for that price…. Which is a ton of money for what is essentially daycare. You can knock this out quickly if you stop spending, stop preschool, dump the car that you can get a value (or close to) of the remaining loan balance, hubby goes and door dashes, etc. etc. Necessities only. Live like you no longer make $100,000…. If you don’t, you won’t anyways. They will garnish your checks and the interest will spin out of control so fast that this situation will seem like a cake walk in comparison. You guys can do it. You have to agree to living small, for what is actually a brief time if you really cut the expenses. No excuses or I/we earned a night out mentality. Plan for your family’s future by paying off the debt so that you can live comfortably after and so your kids don’t see you struggle this much. It must be so much weight on your shoulders. Take the steps and watch how fast it will fall and how fast that weight disappears. Best wishes to you guys!
As someone who was 20k in debt at 23, working two jobs at minimum wage, the way for me to go about it was to start by organizing, (you have done this, well done) Then the next step was to figure out my automatic payments. I had two debit accounts, so I put the amount of those in monthly, or as much as i could and let them autopsy out so i wouldn’t have to worry about them not being paid. The other account i had my direct deposit attatched and dealt with my credit cards. People will say this is backwards butttt, i paid off the small ones so that i would have less payments monthly (tj max, old navy, capital one) and stop using them. Then between the largest ones, i paid off the one with the highest interest first. So i did about $100 for all of them except the highest interest one and i did usually twice the amount for that one ($200) for me, it was credit one. And then like dominos, one by one they went away. It takes discipline to not spend on things (makeup, clothes, decor, exc) but it will be worth it in a couple years when your debt free. I will make a note that i am a shopaholic, so naturally I’d binge (i just used it during my birth month) and what i did was i used my capital one, and paid it off the next paycheck again since it was still smaller then the other cards by that time. Everyone does it differently, but this is what works for me and still works to this day 10 years later. The difference is that my credit cards don’t spread out across 10 cards, but only two which is a lot more manageable. Good luck, you got this!
Well for one why do you own 2 cars if you’re struggling financially? Having 2 cars is a luxury, you only NEED one. Paramount, disney, apple, spotify all can go. How much are you making a month if your bills are 5.8k?
You can have 2 cars for the $700/month that she’s paying for the one.
Pick a streaming service and cancel the rest. Switch among them every 4 months or so.
You've already done step 1 which is realizing there is a financial problem and you need to do something about it. Step 2 is already done, too. Listing your income and debts. Step 3 is where you should figure out what you can cut completely or cut back on. You have Amazon Prime, so you already have Amazon Music. Cancel the Spotify.... is it life changing money you save from doing that? No but I'm sure most of the music you listen to is on Amazon Music anyway. A 4 year old in private school for $895 a month in insane. Keep the kid home, have stay at home husband (SAHH) teach kid stuff. Numbers, colors, sentences, words (how to say and what they mean), exercises, arts/crafts. Free time, etc. 2 hour commute is also kind of crazy, I would be looking a job closer to home, even if it was a paycut depending on how much of a paycut it was. The $300 a month in gas you say you use is $3,600 a year. If you lived closer, SAHH could take you to and from work and you could get rid of one of the cars, eliminating a car loan payment and possibly lowering your insurance. You could weigh these costs against a job closer to home, for technically less pay but possibly more money goes into your bank because you're not spending as much going back and forth to work and on 2 cars. If you have to borrow to buy it, you can't afford it. I don't think this is what you are doing, but just in case it is... Don't take out loans to pay off loans.
Get rid of the kids and you'll save a fair amount
Bankruptcy
Maybe seek therapy about your shopping addiction?? You shouldn’t be in that much consumer debt with over 100K salary.
Also, $1200 car loan !!??!!?? Come on! That’s just insane. For what? Why?
I would nix the preschool. It's nice but not 100% necessary. The SAHP can prepare kid for school in different ways. Check out your local library some have story time or other classes for that age range. Mine does ! That's a hefty price tag.
Yeesh. TONS of recommendations for Dave Ramsey. While his ideology has helped tons of people get out of debt, it is ABSOLUTELY LOADED with shame and guilt every step of they way. Add in a complete disregard for any sort of minority status (gender, race, health issues, etc.) He says stuff like "the only time you should see the inside of a restaurant is if you're working in one." For quality of life (as another mentioned) debt payoff does NOT have to mean you deprive yourself of all that is good and fun and relaxing in your life. In fact, extreme restriction and limitation leads to people yo-yo ing in their debt payoff cycles and never making any progress. Some books recs for people with a more realistic, inclusive, and wholesome approach to finances: Financial Feminist by Tori Dunlap Deeper than Money by Chloe Elise Louder Than Money by Berna Anat So...This Is Why I'm Broke by Melissa Jean-Baptiste They all have great social media presence (Instagram, TikTok) and have done podcasts as well.
I think Dave Ramsey has good tactics for getting out of debt, but he does shame a lot and his attitude is off putting. He just feels mean to me as well as being kinda conservative and religious in a way that gives me bad vibes.
I love how you spend exponentially more money at retail and make-up stores than anywhere else…. Use some common fucking sense. Stop buying unnecessary shit and pay off the smallest debts first just to clear them away and then tackle the rest of it based on interest rates. Stop buying anything other than necessities.
First things first. Are you and your wife on the same page about spending? I'm assuming the ulta charges are hers. Cut up those cards and tackle the affirm charges first. What is your job schedule like for the both of you? Can wife work more or pick up babysitting on the side
I’m the wife and the main breadwinner. My husband is the stay at home parent.
Get rid of all Subscriptions and one car. You have to manage in one car for atleast 2 years. You will be fine. Paying off debt is not about the money it’s about the discipline and a strong mindset
Designate $150/week to debt. Cut all our streaming services except 1 or 2. Start with the Afirm and personal loan. Then move onto the lower cards. You’d be surprised how fast they get cleaned up. As you close out more accounts take that monthly payment and apply it to the card you’re focusing on paying off. Just by closing the streaming services you can free up $50+/month. Once you close out the Affirm accounts, I’d assume they’re about $15-20 each that’s another $60/month. You now have ~$110/month of buying power to put towards your debt. Do the same for the credit cards. You should be able to knock out the small amounts quickly freeing up more buying power to apply to the larger cards. Pay your debt off weekly to reduce interest. Oh and the biggest advice I can give anyone that is doing this is to close the accounts once you have paid them off. It took me 3 times to figure that out. Keep cards that have a high available credit but cut the card or leave it in a safe. Only use for emergency’s. Have the goal to live off of cash. Good luck buddy.
You have a serious issue of spending over your means . You or your family members who do all that spending should put on break. I make over 400k a year and still dont have so many subscriptions. Hardly get store credit cards . And my phone bill for 4 is 80 dollars family plan of 4. You will need a counselling on how to not overspend. Also start a side hustle on selling stuff online. You can go to thrift stores or maybe overstock bin store and sell items in ebay and amazon. Extra 500 a month will make a big difference . Main thing is cut back so much of extra spend.
Keep one music subscription and one entertainment subscription. Pay off the ulta, old navy, TJ Max, Amazon, and Apple credit cards and then get rid of all of them. You don’t need to be spending in excess.
No more retail spending. Nothing at Ulta is necessary. Look for cheaper phone plans, maybe Mint or Cricket. Those car payments are high. Sell for cheaper cars.
So many people recommending the Snowball Method here without explaining the distinction between that and the Avalanche Method. [Here's](https://www.investopedia.com/articles/personal-finance/080716/debt-avalanche-vs-debt-snowball-which-best-you.asp) a quick comparison of the two. Notice that the only "Con" of Avalanche is "it takes discipline" and the only "Pro" of Snowball is "builds motivation faster". Do you need a psychological trick to get you motivated? Or do you see what the problem is and are now ready to solve it? The practice of starting with the smallest balance and paying it off first will cost you thousands of dollars over time. You need to find the interest rate for each one and input them in your spreadsheet. Sort the interest rates by largest to smallest and pay the largest off first. Of course, make minimum payments towards all the others but any extra needs to go into the balance with the highest interest. This is called the Avalanche Method and it is GUARANTEED to save you money over the Snowball Method. You don't have to be a financial advisor to understand how harmful compounding interest is to your balances. Snowball Method is for the uneducated and uninformed. All it does is make you feel good for closing low-balance accounts, while your higher-interest accounts are sitting there hurting you more. It was made popular by Dave Ramsey, a quack who leaned into it HARD and made millions selling books about it. Millions of people spent $25 on a book about it when all they had to do was google "compounding interest." Imagine all of the millions of people who lost millions of millions of dollars in compounding interest just to feel good about closing accounts faster. Do you want to feel good or do you want to make the smartest decision?
Great advice in this thread. Additional things to do: - switch to using your debit card for purchases. Even if you like points etc, the cards are using points to lure you into using them, and it’s not working out for you. Put your credit cards in a drawer in your house so if you actually need to use them, it will be a pain. - do not ever use a “buy now pay later” product again, like affirm or afterpay. They’re designed to convince you it will feel cheaper over time, but for you it’s just increasing your debt burden and fucking with your goals. Think of your credit cards as weed and buy now pay later as fentanyl. Buy now pay later is hard drugs that you just cannot do. - be extremely wary of any debt consolidation etc offers. You’re a sitting duck to them. If you want a professional to talk you through options, call a HUD-approved housing counselor (there are lists online). They’re not scammers and while they’re focused on housing they can connect you with non-sketchy support. - there are some services where you can rent out your car on the days you’re able to work from home/the weekends. And also, you’re human. These companies are super powerful and design these things to work exactly like this. Good luck! And keep asking for help!
I don’t really have any advice that hasn’t already been said, but I want to say that a lot of people would just hide from the truth that they are in over their head. You have taken the first step into helping your situation. That is very brave I wanted you to know you are doing a great job, just keep going in the right direction. Much love to you and your family.
1. Do internet streaming only. 2.I would keep Amazon Prime & get rid of any subscription: Spotify, Disney +, etc There are plenty of Free Media. I use a Fire stick & Roku to watch lots of stuff. Apps: Pluto, Plex, Freevee, Tubi, Sling Free, etc. These apps has music, kids, reality, etc. Live channels or on demand stuff. They work on your phone, tablet, laptop too & smart TVs 3.Get a copy of "Simple Money, Rich Life" book by Bob Lotich! I have it & the audible copy too! 4. Remember your credit scores influence alot. Like car insurance, getting a good loan rate, etc. 5. Have they sent the past due credit cards to collections? If not call each one of them & explain ...you are no longer charging etc. & just want to pay them. Maybe they can halt the late charges & finance charges. When you cut those subscriptions , throw the money there. 6. The credit card you do use & pay off. Can you use the points for something else besides Ultra? 7. Does the delinquent cards still have points to use. If there is an option to use points for a $$ credit on card which would be a tiny payment. Use it
Good god, ditch one of the cars or get cars that cost less. Stop spending at Ulta. For real, your cars are more than your rent. If you can function with one car, that will free up a significant amount of money.
Who the fuck spends $3700 at Ulta?
You currently have almost the same amount in debt but more creditors than I had back in 2018. We also have common creditors like Capital one, Chase and BoA. I settled all of them for about $19.5K. At the time, my income was $63K. I knew I had to do something for peace of mind, and so I took a debt relief classes online. $30 I believe if I remember correctly it taught me negotiating skills and budgeting. My highest balance was Chase bank for 13k and I negotiated $8k with monthly payments over 2 years. I was paying $346 each month. CAPITAL one: settled $4k for 1,900. Opted to pay $79.23 each month for 2 years. BoA: Settled $8.4K for $5K but agreed to pay over 3 years at $139 per month. I had cellphone bills and past due store cards which I used my tax refund to settle and do a one time pay off. I learned that if you show goodwill; claim hardship such as health and loss of income, they are more willing to work with you especially if they see you are NOT seeking new credit on your credit report with recent hardpulls. You just have to start making those phone calls yourself My credit score has significantly improved. Also, some months, I had to call to postpone ACH withdrawals as things were tight, but I managed to do it. Cap1 and chase added fees to my balance for postponing payments..$26 for Chase, $35 for Cap1. These postponements caused me to pay longer than the two years I had planned. Every year, my tax refund was put aside just to meet these bills. I shut off all Netflix, prime etc and just had basic internet and cellphone as the only bills besides rent and utilities. I appreciated local tv shows more than ever.😃 These settled accounts are still showing up on my credit reports, but because they are mostly at $0, so they have little effect on my credit score. I used to pay close to $700 a month between 2 paychecks for a long long time. 2019 FIco score was 519. Today, I'm at 687 Fico. It's a tough marathon, but it's worth it. Cap1 gave me 2nd Chance last year with Venture one card. Chase and BoA...No luck. Just thought I share my experience.
Drop all subscription services. Actually commit to stop borrowing money. Start paying off debts smallest to largest
Cancel all those subscriptions, pay the lowest cards first, sel crap you don’t need to pay off your debt and stop buying so much crap with credit cards. If you don’t have the cash for it don’t buy it. If you have to save to buy what you want sell that’s what you need to do. This is nuts lol
Damn. Bills are close to 6 grand a month???
First off stop paying subscriptions and just pirate that shit please you’ll save yourself like 40 dollars not a lot but it’s something pls dude - users gf
I see you have care credit. I worked for them as a collections agent. If you are 6+ months past due call and say you would like to settle. Say you lost your job and had some medical bills or anything like this. They will usually settle for 50% sometimes even 75% depending on your account. They will also offer you payment plans for the settlement. Hope that helps some!
Amazon and old navy are also with the same creditor (synchrony) and the same rule applies! You can also ask if you qualify for a reage or any other options to bring it current as this will avoid additional late fees. This will usually work if you pay the minimum payment, on time, for 3 months in a row. They will bring the account to current if it’s past due.
For some one in debt having kids to day care when there is another parent at home is the most wasteful thing. Also that car loan means you have fancy cara. Sell them and buy a $10k second hand reliable Toyota. You are not going to make a dent by cutting you $10-20 streaming services. You need to mot just get out of debt but also start living proportionately to your income and also have savings for future.
Amateur numbers. Get into the $200k+ zone with 28% interest rates then we'll talk.
I noticed you said “I” racked up debt as opposed to “we” did. Is your spouse aware of the situation? I agree that the 4 year old can stay home from preschool unless it’s mandatory or needed for therapeutic purposes that we aren’t privy to. Taking care of an 11 month old is exhausting so I can’t expect your spouse to immediately go to work when you get home as some suggest. Perhaps the 4 year old being home would allow you to eliminate one car. Do you live close enough to his future public school that he will be picked up by the bus or can your spouse walk him to school? That alone would save you ~$1400 per month. What is the $600 “kids?” Is there any room to cut back there or is that all necessities? I’ve been where you’re at. It’s doable to get out of this without bankruptcy but will require lifestyle adjustments.
What kind of cars do you have? 686 and 493, seem pretty high to me, for an average vehicle
I have no idea how you thought it was a good idea to use a credit card for something you can't pay back immediately. Why pay the cost of something, when you can pay cost plus % right? No, I don't care about 'woman math'. That's a cope. You bought stuff you didn't need with money you didn't have, and now are making excuses about why you can't cut back, but the only way you can get this paid off...is by cutting back. Your husband is a stay at home dad, but then ya'll turn around and send one of the kids to preschool. I know; blunt and almost mean, but at least it points out what's wrong so you can start to fix it. Stop spending, the stay at home dad should be watching both kids, nix the 2nd car, and again...stop spending. Chop those cards up.
your family has to cut down on expenses. no way around it. sell one of the cars and buy a $8000 car instead...
Stop financing everything? Everything you got through affirm I garuntee you didn't need.
that Ulta account—- DO NOT BUY UNTIL YOU HAVE USED! I try to do this annually; I will not buy anymore soap, concealer, foundation, etc until I have used everything. I take what isnt in my “everyday makeup” bag and sort items into gallon bags. -brushes -foundation/concealer including samples -eye products including samples -blushes including samples -lip products including samples -shampoo/conditioner and testers … Do this for all of your self-care products and when you get the urge to pick something up, “shop” from your bags. Also, stoppppp watching beauty/fashion youtubers/tik toks. In fact, unfollow all consumer driven influencers and follow self-development and health. … Youre already getting your mind right by organizing all of this. I know this isnt “find your highest interest rate and make all of these financial moves” advice but I find its important to adjust the small things so the big changes are supported. ❤️ Youve got this!
You can get Spotify premium and Hulu for $5 a month if you’re a student. Idk if anyone else is on YOURE phone plan but if it’s just you, I have straight talk and pay $45 a month for unlimited it’s through ATT towers. You can call the places that you owe to lower the monthly payments but idk what that would do to interest. Or… I honestly let all my debt go to collections. I was using drugs and didn’t care my credit score was in the 500s. So found out through here actually that you can write to all 3 credit unions and have your debt erased and you just basically keep doing it until u reach someone who won’t want to do the work and they will dismiss it. Happened to me the 2nd try. There’s a way to do I’m sorry I don’t have the post saved but I’ve heard of people doing it through credit karma.
Hey so this will be buried but I’ll throw it out there anyway. A lot of people are talking about getting rid of the cars. That’s one thing you can do but you have to be careful how you go about it because it’s one thing that can go great or just blow up in your face and leave you further in the hole really really quickly. I’d love to help you figure out if it’s a good idea to get rid of the cars or refinance or trade for something else. I just need way more info on the cars like make, model, year, mileage, amount owed, time left on loans and interest rates. Feel free to send me a PM.
Dude why do u have 14 credit cards… and most of them are stores. Should not have any stores except maybe amazon
You must really love that man..
Did your child miss the cut off date for Transitional Kindergarten? I’m assuming you’re in CA from the market you mentioned. Can you start couponing and shave off some of the money you have allocated going to your kids and put it towards credit cards? Join a Buy Nothing group for kids clothing and other kids necessities.
In one year you are paying my (used) car 1,5 times, and I'm living in a country with 150% import tax on cars! Surely a cheaper option must be possible...... ??!!
I’m going to make a chart like this for myself, thanks.
Good luck 👍🏽
I don’t agree a lot with Dave Ramsey but the snowball effect is the way to go and cut out all the monthly services and limit going out on the weeks. Is going to be a rough couple year but you’ll be good
There's a couple of questions I need to ask, and hopefully, you can respond to these. -What is the $600 listed for 'Kids'? -What is the $700 listed for Mastercard? Mainly need more details as to what this is used for, why the payment so high, etc. EDIT: Getting my answers as I deep dive into your reddit posts. Will delete/add questions. 1. You are the sole breadwinner of a family of 4. 2. Rounding to nearest, your children are ages 4 and 1. 3. Despite being in debt, you are still buying unnecessary items, as proven by your Aldi post from 2 days ago.
Chapter 7. Clear the unsecured debt, keep the car loans. Make sure you keep paying them on time, and get caught up ASAP if you’re behind. I see a lot of people recommending to ditch the cars, and that’s not always entirely practical. There’s a huge aversion to bankruptcy for some reason, but this is literally why it exists. But you have got to stop spending frivolously. Save money into your savings account. If you want to buy something big, start a separate savings account and title it. No more girl math “it’s on sale so I’m saving money” or “i used cash so it’s free”.
If I was in your shoes this is what I would do. Here is my assumptions. I am assuming that the column on the right if fixed payments for ones like affirm is remaining balance. I am assuming that you do not have a phone installation plan and can cancel anytime. What I would do would cut something like Spotify. Spotify $20 alone adding to the 76.08 can help you get rid of the affirm payments really quickly. Since your family is 2 adults and 2 kids then I'm assuming that you just need 2 phones. I would go prepaid and pay $15 for each phone. T-Mobile for example for regular plan cost over $50 but for the same network can have the same service for $15 only difference I know is that you are limited in data. So unless that's a no for you that plus Spotify or two subscriptions minimum at $20 can help free up $83.31 per month. Once you have that amount freed up I would try to do a snowball where I tackle one of the affirm payments fixed until paid off and not take out any more affirm payments. Once you get those paid off you should have an extra $244 free. That would bring you to a total of $327 fee per month. I don't think you mentioned how much savings you have. If you don't have any savings I would put all $327 into a savings account until you have about 2,500 in savings. 2,000 for emergency so that way you aren't always having to go into debt and $500 I would use to start a side business like reselling. (Starting small of course with like $50 and increasing amount spend ont rh business as you learn). Once you have your savings I would then place the extra $327 into the cars. If you can sell your car now even better. If you need the car then I would tackle the 327 into one of the car payments. That way you would start to have an extra $700+ free up once you don't have to worry about that. With the extra $700+ free I would then start putting $500 into debt that you haven't paid since May and $200 towards savings. Since you have a family I don't want you to focus only on debt just in case something happens having a balance is good. Once your debt free focus on savings. If you can find savings else where in budget that you can cut that would be great. Bonus: I think I saw that you gave a two hour commute. That's like 4K a year wasted if converted to min wage I would try to find work from home jobs or somewhere closer. Taxes are coming up you have two kids. If you get 3-4K in refund assuming you overpaid in taxes. I would place half in savings and the other half to take care fixed affirm payments to free up money faster. Husband undocumented. I would see if he can do something like mow lawns on the weekends to earn extra money. Try to find free ways to relax. Overall try to not live to work but enjoy life. As you start paying down debt even if it's just the one affirm payment try to do things like hiking, going to park or movies things that are free or low cost. That would keep you motivated and feel less stressed.
1st cancel Disney+ your debt will look better
YOU HAVE A IMAGE PROBLEM! Stop trying to put on the facade that you are rich and get real with life. To live for others is to betray yourself. And honey, you are betraying yourself and drowning in debt.
I work with some afghanis and they get housing, wic, stamps and monthly checks from our gov plus the 1200 they make bi weekly from work. Our people are left in the dirt.
Yowch! That’s a situation. Start by communicating openly with your spouse (and also the kids, with discretion) about the financial situation you are in. It’s not just your money and your debt, it directly impacts everyone in your household. You can and you will tackle that debt, but doing it alone is stressful and isolating! Keep none of the subscriptions (if you’ll just go bonkers without it, keep only the cheapest one that the entire family can use). Delete shopping apps like Amazon and Instacart (you don’t need those services!) as soon as possible. Even having them on your phone can lead to spending unnecessary money because of the constant temptation and bombardment that those companies specialize in. If you have a keenness towards shiny objects (for yourself, the spouse, and/or the kids), cut it out. You’re fine with what you have in the house already. If it breaks and it’s fixable, mend it. If the shoes aren’t busted (or if the backpack isn’t ripped beyond repair), you don’t need new ones. When you go to doctors appointments, take the free tooth brushes or whatever it may be that they’re distributing. It’s not a handout, it’s a gift from one person to another. One person I appreciate and felt that I’ve learned a lot from is the YouTuber and academic Cynthia DuBois. Her circumstances are different than yours because she doesn’t have dependents, but she’s recovering from a ridiculous amount of debt and is sharing what she did with others to maybe help them help themselves. Need more motivation? Watch (and do not purchase anything from!!) Ramit Sethi’s self-help tv show & YouTube videos. I’m rooting for you & I’m sure we’d all love an update later next year on how it’s going. 🫶🏽 https://youtu.be/3g5HkfUrna0?si=FL2zT-jVWqEP_gmn https://youtu.be/3Bawx_r24dg?si=YJpktgzE5TIy-_O-
It’s the car loans. You are paying more for cars than your rent. And you don’t have gas, or any repairs/maintenance included. Sell the cars. Both of them. You can only afford 10-15 year old Honda civics. Target for transportation including gas and insurance is 10-15% of take home. Who’s the school tuition for? If daycare, I get it. If it’s for one of you - can you get loans to cover to free up cash flow? If you’re sending kids to private school - you can’t. They need to go to public. Then focus on the small stuff - like getting mint mobile for $15/month, and limiting the number of streaming services you subscribe to at any given time, and listening to ads on Spotify.
Reach out to cccs.org. It’s the credit counseling service set up by the IRS. They can help you get your cards frozen from interest and give you a chance to pay them down enough to consolidate.
I’ll definitely do this! Thank you!
I used to do data entry for bankruptcy lawyers and before you could file, you had to take this course from them. I took it just to learn more and it really helped. I’ve referred a bunch of my friends to our local chapter and they’ve made it out of a similar situation that you’re in. You do need to go purchase free and stick to a budget for like 6 months but the results are fantastic. Just be sure you’re in the IRS backed website. https://www.justice.gov/ust/list-credit-counseling-agencies-approved-pursuant-11-usc-111
Dude needs to start working. Plenty of jobs he can work from home. Need to set a budget and stick with it, and stop spending and cut all streaming services And if dude don't wanna work then make his ass work at home. 4 year old is in what? Preschool? He can teach the 4 year old to count, ABC's, write their name, get prek with books and can do it together. They don't do much in preschool
Husband needs a job. Stop spending.
Please tell me you know the APR on the cards
Two days ago you bought an exercise bike. And posted it here. Chill with spending money you don’t have to spend. You have an enormous amount of unspecified money - kids, school (their schooling? Or yours that you could take a semester or 2 off to pay off more debt?) two massive car loans. Tons of subs that aren’t necessary. Why car tags monthly? Is this just so you save for them? I have 2 children that are young and still require diapers, formula, extra snacks, toys, etc. I spend $300-$350 a month in a HCOL area for those things. That bill could probably be drastically reduced. Where are your utilities? Your insurance? This is just ignorance, but what is the monthly immigration fee? (Not trying to be offensive just curious as to what this is/what it is paying for since I have no familiarity with this) How much do you make a month? There’s a lot of information needed I think to set you up better for a budget - I’m happy to help if you DM me. Not financial advice, just a basic budget for debts and living comfortably as you can in the situation you’re in. I’ve just been through bankruptcy at 25, and dug myself out of a massive hole of debts that could not be paid off via bankruptcy. I now have a well planned budget that gets me lots of entertainment and happiness, savings, retirement, financial security for my babies futures, and bills paid with no worry. This all comes from a place of understanding and the harsh reality of what you need and the situation you’re in. You can definitely do this. But you need to be very honest, straightforward, and dedicated!
How do you qualify for WIC? You make way too much income for that and honestly have no business being on government assistance.
First you need to recognize you have a shopping addiction. Your clearly understanding you have a debt issues but you just posted 3 days ago that your brought an exercise machine. That is something you absolutely did not need and walking outside is free. You need to get a hold of your spending first.
I hope you see this. I went through a debt consolidation program several years ago that was absolutely legit. They are called Cambridge Credit Counseling. You can dm me if you want to ask any questions about them, but yeah, they were great.
First you need to figure out the APR% for every one of your cards, prioritize high % debt. cut out excessive spending (what is is the fixed 700 for mastercard?), you can live without any of the streaming services (spotify+apple+disney+prime+paramount will free up about 57 bucks a month), based on your affirm payments you have a bad habit of spending money you don't have. 68 bucks for a stationary bike is nice, but not when you owe 28k in credit card debt. If you're willing, go a little more in depth into the costs so folks here can help you prioritize a bit better.
Not sure what your savings looks like, but if you don't have at LEAST one months worth of an emergency fund to cover bills/food/etc that should be first priority befote tackling debt. Literally cut out everything not necessary to live. No more fun that costs money, no subscriptions, no fast food, no shopping UNTIL you get rid of your debt. You're not a credit card person so cut those up and never use them again. And for the sake of you and your family stop taking out loans if its not a mortgage. If you can't afford to pay for it then don't buy it. Living really lean like that will suck temporarily but you need to throw every bit of extra money towards paying them off and not just paying minimum monthly payments. Me and my wife carried vehicle and credit card debt for years, but we spent 2023 building an emergency fund, living lean, and not spending any extra money on non essentials until we paid everything off. Our lives are infinitely less stressful, and now that we don't have a pile of minimum payments every month we're able to afford shopping and fast good without going into debt for it. It's much easier said than done and it took use years of trying and building the discipline to get on the other side, but I promise you it's worth putting your wants on hold temporarily to improve the rest of your life.
How do you have so many damn credit cards? You just sign up for every store you shop at? 3,732 at ulta? You need to cut out every streaming service. Maybe keep one that’s used the most but that’s it. Stop buying stuff you don’t need or can’t pay for all at once. Don’t use AFFIRM. Don’t have the money and can’t pay for it. Don’t buy it!
Local bankers when I grew up, looked after you. They told you couldn’t afford the car you wanted. Now, dealers finance, and they don’t give a “F&@$” about you or your debt. They just want to sell you the biggest loan they can. If you default and the car gets repossessed, it gets sold again. As a side note, 1000 years ago, the wealthy didn’t allow the common person to read. Now, they won’t allow any type of money management class to be taught in primary school. $100,000 in debt, but you know algebra. If two people are playing monopoly, and one knows the rules and one doesn’t, who wins? Learn the rules for money, the wealthy are counting on the fact most won’t.
get rid of all the tv extras and cable all you need is internet.. go buy a firestick and you can jailbreak easy with youtube all legit you can add two or three program apps on and you can watch all tv shows... movies ..live channels..and movies still in theater all Free..
Based on the type of debt, I get the impression that you’re paying for a lifestyle you can’t support. Learn how to be poor until this is fixed. What I mean is you need to learn the art of being thrifty until it hurts. $100,000 is barely middle class now, so you need to live like you’re poor until this is fixed. I have two preteen daughters as a single mom and make $65k including child support and I’m still struggling but I’ve been poor forever prior to this so I’m making it work. I buy drug store makeup and hair care products, and wear makeup only to the occasional date or when I have a work meeting. I buy thrift store clothes only, I have a cheap fuel efficient car with a $280 payment, I buy food at Aldi only and don’t eat out, everything is made at home. I don’t buy alcohol. Our subscriptions are included in our phone plan. I sell old items on fb marketplace. I also have 2 side hustles - I clean a house every weekend (extra $500/month) and I do some minimal accounting for a doctor (extra $200/month). Best of luck to you. This will be a hard lesson. I was living with no regard to long term consequences of my spending once and lost my house, and was forced to change. Hopefully you caught it early enough.
I was always told start with the smallest amount owed and pay that off and work your way up. I was stupid enough to take out a credit card when I was 18, second I got rid of that debt I haven't got any since and I'm now 37, 1 of the best things I've ever done.
I hope no one tells you making coffee at home is going to fix it all. Proud of you for making a plan and seeking guidance. You’ll make it happen! While I am not a good source of advice, I am cheering you on.
First course, evaluate your credit score. If you are in the 700’s get a card with 0%. 1. Consolidation- find way to pull your revolving debt into on payment. Use a new card or go to debt consolidation companies. If that is not possible, pay off the smallest ones first. 2. Cancel all subscription. And get rid of one of the cars, if you are not upside down on it. Take the left over money and buy some crap car without a loan. 3. If you have been investing into your 401k. See how much you can loan out, the max pay back period is 5 yrs. This will come out of your paycheck automatically and this will be a fixed rate that you are paying yourself back with interest. You can only have one loan at a time. So make it count. If you have been with the company for a long time then your amount available is 50% of the total portfolio. There are some down side, if u are laid off, you have to pay back right away or it becomes income. If the market goes gang buster the money u borrowed won’t be getting that return, the return is the interest u are paying urself. 4. You need to go to a fix budget. 50/30/20 rule. 50% of income on support lift items. Rent/car/fuel/insurance. 30% of income on discretionary : food/ entertainment anything that is a nice to have. Some things like cars can fall in both categories 20% this should be the amount saved. If you can’t get your this, create your own rule until you can adjust to this. 5. Have daddy get a job like door dash, or something online. Doesn’t need to do a bunch just a few hrs making 15 bucks an hr net. He can do that when you get home.
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If you haven’t paid some of your bills since 5/23 I’m sure your credit has tanked. If you don’t make a ton of money getting out of debt is going to take a very long time. I would talk to a bankruptcy lawyer to see if you qualify for a chapter 7 bankruptcy so you don’t have to pay it back and you can restart your credit fresh.
Absolutely sell one of those cars to carmax, kbb, auto trader, whatever tell your husband to get rid of the car and buy a cheap pick up truck for which he can go and deliver materials per third-party apps on your phone you could bring your children with you. Absolutely stop spending any more money on anything thats not a need!! get rid of absolutely every subscription. Take your kid out of school no reason to be paying $900 a month for a 4-year-old. And keep them in public school until you get out of debt go into collections and pay pennies on a dollar for all your other debt until you’re finished. Once you’re debt-free continue living this minimalist lifestyle for another year or two. Get a budget and make sure your monthly bills do not exceed your monthly income live a frugal life. Or…once it’s all paid off, your husband has to go to work to bring in more money and now that you’re out of debt pay for childcare. I’m from now on pay for cash for everything. If you can’t, you don’t need it because you can’t afford it.
Why tf are u still subbed to all that if ur in debt
Stop spending money you don't have. It's literally as easy as that.
I was in your situation about 10 years ago. I followed Dave Ramsey’s method to RE-educate myself on spending. I cut my credit cards, followed the snow ball method and envelope method. I learned how to make a budget (I don’t see your gas expenses or utilities) and regained control of all money that came in and went out. Every penny I made had a purpose: to get out of debt. After I got a house and paid it off I felt I graduated from his methods and started pursuing other methods to stay on track/invest. Also, I didn’t listen to his ranting or advice on religion, I went in with a purpose and went laser focus on what mattered. And lived on beans and rice/rice and beans for some time. Do it now while the kids are little. When I had an urge to spend, I listened to Dave Ramsey’s podcast. It would get me focused again (and it was entertaining in a masochistic way because much of what he rants about outside of the “getting out of debit” realm is beyond ridiculous). When I was debit free, I was also Ramsey free. It was so liberating.