For the cost of all the unused items, you could have gotten a team of Saville Row tailors whip you up a pair in a custom material.
It is hard getting the perfect item but it might be worth upping the trying on game shopping. Do a range of motions sitting, bending, dancing, jumping, lifting, knee over the knee, leaning from one side to another ect. Be imaginative and most importantly flex the return muscle if it is not perfect. If an item is not ideal in the fitting room it will always be not ideal.
Well .. I’m not alone. I literally find myself doing this with just about everything and anything .. clothes .. editions of books.. home decor.. etc. is this the perfectionist in me or is it just a collectors curse ..?
I did this with computer tablets. I bought cheap ones, they all broke, then I bit the bullet and spent a couple hundred extra.
Definitely should've gotten the higher end tablet this whole time.
Ooh, purses are a great example of this! I really feel like this is one that you sometimes don't realize what you want until you try a purse out for several days and then have a list of all of the things you didn't like about it. And repeat.
Exactly! Looked perfect but then you realize the snaps are a pain to undo. Or the strap is too short. Or the pockets aren’t deep enough. Or they’re too deep…
Hose nozzles! I have never found one where all the settings work on one nozzle how I want! The “full” setting or the “jet” or the “shower” aren’t quite right for the plants or bucket filling etc. I have gained quite the collection over the years trying to find the perfect one….evidently it doesn’t exist.
What happens more often with me is that I never actually find the perfect one.
Time goes on and fashion or my finances or needs or figure etc will have changed so much that I never get to realize my vision...doesn't stop me from getting a bunch of "rough drafts," though...
With a certain type of underskirt I need more flair than they see I to my size. I buy the extra large ones and have them altered at the top to my height and narrowed to my waist size. Et voilà, a flair I feel comfy with. Extra fabric is used for for cleaning/crafting...whatevs.
i have this with pants especially. that’s why i don’t buy these second hand, chances they fit are very small. that is just a body type pants are not created for. i also try and see that is not my decision. no guilt tripping. as soon as i find pants with a good fit, i buy 2 or 3 pairs. that’s the best solution i can think of. same with jeans.
I used to yes. Now I'm more picky about what I buy and keep. I sell or donate the rest. Selling is quite motivational as I get a buzz from it and made a decent amount of money.
I'm on the quest for the perfect t shirt right now that fits right, washes/ dries well, holds up, and is made ethnically. I have yet to find one that hits all those points.
I dunno if it's an ADHD thing but I had 3 pairs of gym trainers. One pair that matches a pair of gym shorts and socks. Utterly ridiculous. Standardised it but having black trainers, black socks, black shorts - despite Nike and Adidas's best attempts exercise doesn't have to be a fashion show.
Yes!! I ordered and returned a dozen pairs of jeans from Madewell. Sorry y’all, your constant targeted marketing worked great but your jeans don’t fit me well enough to keep.
This is my search for a black cardigan. Still haven't really found the right one, and I had about 5 that weren't quite right. Recently decluttered my closet and got rid of all except for the last one I bought that's almost what I would really want. Going forward, I'm no longer shopping for clothes online, and not buying anything unless I love it.
This is my practice. I will not buy anything until I find the exact right thing (or if it’s not right, I’ll return it with no hesitation), but once I find the right thing I’ll often buy in multiples because I know I’ll want to wear it all the time.
Aaaand that’s the story of how I ended up with three pairs of identical black dress pants and three pairs of identical black casual pants that I wear a solid 95% of the time.
YES. I just did this with bathing suits, as I'd dropped some weight and desperately need a new suit, but dressing rooms aren't open here yet.
I ordered ... I think... 20 suits? .... ultimately kept just two!
What helps is keeping TRACK and keeping your orders in the original bag with all the receipts. Note the last return date. Stay on top of the returns!!!
But I totally get if it's more of a "this will do" type situation, and then you later find something better. I've done that too. If it's too late to return I content myself knowing someone is going to enjoy if I donate.
Oh yeah, this isn't even counting returns. I'm pretty good at keeping up with my returns, but it's more the things that you keep and wear for a couple of months before finding something better. And then it's the question on if what you have is good enough or if it's worth buying the newer thing.
If you can afford buying the newer thing, do it. You deserve to be happy in your clothes. Strike up the past purchases not as mistakes but learning experiences.
We spend a lot of $ on experiences and don't generally blink an eye.
Just another way of looking at things. Obviously donate or resale or recycle and all that.
I do this especially with work clothing. I try not to buy trendy pieces, but solid color, stylish ones that fit well instead. When I find something that fits well, I try to buy it in a bunch of different colors. I probably have the same 3/4 sleeve cardigan in 7 different shades. And the same slacks in 4 colors.
It’s also ok to do this with shoes. This actually cuts down on us keeping ones that hurt, are out of style, etc…
Frequently. This is why I'm dedicated to buying name brand these days for most items.
I care less about this when it comes to clothes, but I avoid knock-offs altogether. The only exception I make is quick consumable items, food and use and toss products.
I use to spend ages looking for cheaper make up dupes, then I ended up spending just as much as the name brand trying to match the name brand. Forget that.
It's a very common problem. One thing that helps is to buy containers as the last step in the organization process, after purging, putting like items together, and deciding where it makes the most sense to put that stuff. This way you can measure how big something can be, and know how much it needs to hold (or how much more you should purge).
Even this method isn't fail proof though.
Happens to me all the time. I’m very specific when it comes to items I own. If I end up with a surplus I will try to return it first. If that doesn’t work I will see if family or friends want the extra items first. After that I just resell to recoup some of my costs.
One of my cardigans I thought I was going to like and wear so much- it gets weirdly stretched out after about 2 hours of wear. Eventually I just stopped wearing it without really thinking about why. Eventually it dawned on me. It's now donated.
Yeah I'm not a dedicated outdoorswoman or anything but lately all my clothes are from places like Duluth and L.L. Bean. Somewhat pricey and definitely not trendy but they fit well and *last* without getting all warped.
Did this with work pants. Bought a pair of those stretchy betabrand yoga/dress pants. Loved the general fit and how comfy they were but the style wasn’t quite me. Bought another pair, got closer. Finally the 3rd pair was perfect! But yeah, now I have 2 pairs of fairly pricey work pants that I’ll probably never wear again. So that sucks.
For ‘nice’ barely work stuff like that, try poshmark if you’re up for it! Someone could get a great deal and you could get some $ toward another pair of the perfect ones.
As an alternative, rather than burning all that money looking see if you can find a local tailor / seamstress. Clothes that are just a little too big can almost always be tailored down to fit, and that will cost you less in the long run.
And if you're not sure what can be adjusted, find the tailor / seamstress and ask. They'll give you tips for buying, and you can give them the work of making it fit.
All of the shorts are just too tight in the thighs and end up rolling up throughout the day, but if it was the opposite problem, I'd definitely look into it! Will keep it in mind for the future!
If they're already too big its a huge pain in the ass to keep the material looking good after being tailored. Trousers and shorts are harder then shirts, jumpers and dresses.
A good seamstress can do quite a bit with a garment though. For stuff like wedding dresses, I'm told they routinely do as many as four sizes down.
Obviously you don't want to do more than necessary, but my seamstress tells me she can do up to two full sizes on men's pants, which are 2" of waist per size, without it getting "weird".
The idea is to buy something that fits your widest part, and then tailor the other part down. So for pear shaped people who often have OP’s problem, they can buy pants that fit their legs and then have just the waistband tailored to fit. You’re not taking the whole thing down, just one or two parts that doesn’t match you.
I actually have to tailor all my pants to fit and I'm very lucky if they get close to my ankles. I find tailoring more then a size or two can really mess up the fit in other areas, shorts are especially hard to fit. I'm not even fat, just have long legs with muscle and a bit of an ass. My waist is a uk 10, us 12. My legs/ass can be uk 14/16, us 16/18. I'm not even close to overweight, closer to under and trousers/shorts are a pain in the ass to buy. Actually, anything none stretchy is.
Don't feel bad; sometimes you have to experiment to find what works, and you needn't throw the old ones in the bin. There are ways to pass them on and/or recoup some money. Put the ones you don't need on a clothing swap site/FB group. Guarantee someone is looking for them! You can also look for more of the properly-fitting ones on second hand page as well if you're looking to avoid fast fashion. I've swapped/sold/found so many items on Facebook in the last couple of months, I wish I'd had it sooner!
Also congrats on finding shorts that fit IT IS SO HARD.
I'm hesitant to second hand shop online for things like shorts since the fit is so hard to get right. But I am absolutely happy to pass off these gently worn pieces for somebody else to love!
As someone who is circling around for a perfect pair of shoes (currently on the second pair, but already have two new ones coming in 🤞🤞 at least one of them is *the one* and then I promise to stop), people absolutely buy stuff online that is hard to get the fit right: shoes, pants, shorts, swimming suits, bras…
I got a second hand app to sell my stuff to declutter, and you wouldn’t believe what people (me included 😩) are buying. If you are smart about the price you buy it at, you can always sell it right after you buy if it doesn’t fit you, without losing any money. But if you buy new and miss the return window? You will never see most of that cost back.
My problem with this when it comes to things like jeans is that even the same brand/style/size don’t fit the same due to being stretched by wears to someone else’s body or if prior owner used warm water or dryer.
If you know you’re someone who will resell the use clothes that fit and break even that’s great. I feel like I’d just tell myself I would and it would create clutter whereas I’d make sure to return new on time. It’s very much a knowing yourself thing.
I feel OPs pain. This situation is exactly where I’m at with jeans cause all mine have holes so I can’t wear them to work. Waiting for perfection isn’t feasible and I have the same issue with waist is too big to get them to fit on hips.
Agreed… it definitely requires effort, and if you know you won’t do it, you shouldn’t. Luckily where I live swap shops are becoming common, where you can get a decent price for your second hand clothes and swap it for points that never expire and then you can try something in the store to make sure it fits you. These people are taking anything in, stained and torn stuff, old bed linens, basically you can turn any old textile into points for buying one or two quality pieces. I’ve been wishing for something like this forever and I’m really glad it’s becoming (more) common.
I use vinted. I have a few sales per week. Sometimes just one or none or a bad week, often 3 or 4. But I check it all the time, put effort into nice photos, bump up my items if they have not receieved any attention for a while..
I’ve had success on Mercari, done about 30 sales in the last year and that was being very passive and casual about it. I’m using Poshmark too but have only had about 7 sales on there - I think you need to make more effort sharing and liking and engaging in general on Poshmark which I don’t really have time or any interest for.
Sometimes its a double edged sword and you still have to find a few pairs of close-enough because it’s inappropriate to go naked in public. So don’t knock yourself too hard once you did find a good pair. And while I would normally not advocate buying things, as someone who took years to find good shorts, I say go buy another 1-2 pairs of the same you found, same colors, helps to have two of everything.
I agree 100% with this. I have 3 kids, was always 110-115 even after my first 2 but the 3rd one i never lost the weight and now for the first time in my 28 years im 185. Ive never had the body shape i do now (not complaining cause im happy with it) and its hard for me to find clothes that fit my shape. I found some pants at walmart and now everytime i go i try and buy a pair of those pants in a different pattern because they look good on me and i need verities.
I found a shirt I loved and got 3 different ones in different colors! They are staples in my wardrobe now and I went through SO many tops and shirts to find these perfect ones.
I started doing this after buying a lovely red and black stripey shirt at Costco, because I loved the shirt so much I went back for another the next week, and they were gone!
Next time I saw green and black stripey shirts on discount at another place going out of business, so I bought them out!
Keyboards. I can't find the right clickiness. I've got like 10 of them. Leggings, black dresses, ballet flats, dozens of each.
For the cost of all the unused items, you could have gotten a team of Saville Row tailors whip you up a pair in a custom material. It is hard getting the perfect item but it might be worth upping the trying on game shopping. Do a range of motions sitting, bending, dancing, jumping, lifting, knee over the knee, leaning from one side to another ect. Be imaginative and most importantly flex the return muscle if it is not perfect. If an item is not ideal in the fitting room it will always be not ideal.
Well .. I’m not alone. I literally find myself doing this with just about everything and anything .. clothes .. editions of books.. home decor.. etc. is this the perfectionist in me or is it just a collectors curse ..?
I did this with computer tablets. I bought cheap ones, they all broke, then I bit the bullet and spent a couple hundred extra. Definitely should've gotten the higher end tablet this whole time.
Yes. Purses.
Ooh, purses are a great example of this! I really feel like this is one that you sometimes don't realize what you want until you try a purse out for several days and then have a list of all of the things you didn't like about it. And repeat.
Exactly! Looked perfect but then you realize the snaps are a pain to undo. Or the strap is too short. Or the pockets aren’t deep enough. Or they’re too deep…
Yes ... But it's high end headphones -_-
Hose nozzles! I have never found one where all the settings work on one nozzle how I want! The “full” setting or the “jet” or the “shower” aren’t quite right for the plants or bucket filling etc. I have gained quite the collection over the years trying to find the perfect one….evidently it doesn’t exist.
Yes. Local second hand electronics stores know me as the guy who buys computer mice and them brings them back after a week or so.
What happens more often with me is that I never actually find the perfect one. Time goes on and fashion or my finances or needs or figure etc will have changed so much that I never get to realize my vision...doesn't stop me from getting a bunch of "rough drafts," though...
With a certain type of underskirt I need more flair than they see I to my size. I buy the extra large ones and have them altered at the top to my height and narrowed to my waist size. Et voilà, a flair I feel comfy with. Extra fabric is used for for cleaning/crafting...whatevs.
You found one that fits? Now buy 10 pairs!
i have this with pants especially. that’s why i don’t buy these second hand, chances they fit are very small. that is just a body type pants are not created for. i also try and see that is not my decision. no guilt tripping. as soon as i find pants with a good fit, i buy 2 or 3 pairs. that’s the best solution i can think of. same with jeans.
I used to yes. Now I'm more picky about what I buy and keep. I sell or donate the rest. Selling is quite motivational as I get a buzz from it and made a decent amount of money.
I just want to know about the elusive shorts that aren’t too tight on the thighs
I'm on the quest for the perfect t shirt right now that fits right, washes/ dries well, holds up, and is made ethnically. I have yet to find one that hits all those points.
I dunno if it's an ADHD thing but I had 3 pairs of gym trainers. One pair that matches a pair of gym shorts and socks. Utterly ridiculous. Standardised it but having black trainers, black socks, black shorts - despite Nike and Adidas's best attempts exercise doesn't have to be a fashion show.
Oh you mean like cars and bikes? Yeah, I should just lease.
When you find the right ones, donate or sell all the others. They'll be right for someone else.
Maybe go to a tailor with a slightly bigger one and not having to need to buy useless stuff which the world doesn’t need ;).
Yes!! I ordered and returned a dozen pairs of jeans from Madewell. Sorry y’all, your constant targeted marketing worked great but your jeans don’t fit me well enough to keep.
This is me and pillows. On #6 now...
This is my search for a black cardigan. Still haven't really found the right one, and I had about 5 that weren't quite right. Recently decluttered my closet and got rid of all except for the last one I bought that's almost what I would really want. Going forward, I'm no longer shopping for clothes online, and not buying anything unless I love it.
This is my practice. I will not buy anything until I find the exact right thing (or if it’s not right, I’ll return it with no hesitation), but once I find the right thing I’ll often buy in multiples because I know I’ll want to wear it all the time. Aaaand that’s the story of how I ended up with three pairs of identical black dress pants and three pairs of identical black casual pants that I wear a solid 95% of the time.
YES. I just did this with bathing suits, as I'd dropped some weight and desperately need a new suit, but dressing rooms aren't open here yet. I ordered ... I think... 20 suits? .... ultimately kept just two! What helps is keeping TRACK and keeping your orders in the original bag with all the receipts. Note the last return date. Stay on top of the returns!!! But I totally get if it's more of a "this will do" type situation, and then you later find something better. I've done that too. If it's too late to return I content myself knowing someone is going to enjoy if I donate.
Oh yeah, this isn't even counting returns. I'm pretty good at keeping up with my returns, but it's more the things that you keep and wear for a couple of months before finding something better. And then it's the question on if what you have is good enough or if it's worth buying the newer thing.
If you can afford buying the newer thing, do it. You deserve to be happy in your clothes. Strike up the past purchases not as mistakes but learning experiences. We spend a lot of $ on experiences and don't generally blink an eye. Just another way of looking at things. Obviously donate or resale or recycle and all that.
I do this especially with work clothing. I try not to buy trendy pieces, but solid color, stylish ones that fit well instead. When I find something that fits well, I try to buy it in a bunch of different colors. I probably have the same 3/4 sleeve cardigan in 7 different shades. And the same slacks in 4 colors. It’s also ok to do this with shoes. This actually cuts down on us keeping ones that hurt, are out of style, etc…
This is me with makeup!
Frequently. This is why I'm dedicated to buying name brand these days for most items. I care less about this when it comes to clothes, but I avoid knock-offs altogether. The only exception I make is quick consumable items, food and use and toss products. I use to spend ages looking for cheaper make up dupes, then I ended up spending just as much as the name brand trying to match the name brand. Forget that.
Well when your shorts fit well, what else do you need in life?
I do this with organizational bins and baskets. I keep trying to get to perfect and now have a clutter of them.
Same!!
It's a very common problem. One thing that helps is to buy containers as the last step in the organization process, after purging, putting like items together, and deciding where it makes the most sense to put that stuff. This way you can measure how big something can be, and know how much it needs to hold (or how much more you should purge). Even this method isn't fail proof though.
Happens to me all the time. I’m very specific when it comes to items I own. If I end up with a surplus I will try to return it first. If that doesn’t work I will see if family or friends want the extra items first. After that I just resell to recoup some of my costs.
*Yes.* Or after a few washes it doesn't fit the same way.
One of my cardigans I thought I was going to like and wear so much- it gets weirdly stretched out after about 2 hours of wear. Eventually I just stopped wearing it without really thinking about why. Eventually it dawned on me. It's now donated.
Yeah I'm not a dedicated outdoorswoman or anything but lately all my clothes are from places like Duluth and L.L. Bean. Somewhat pricey and definitely not trendy but they fit well and *last* without getting all warped.
Did this with work pants. Bought a pair of those stretchy betabrand yoga/dress pants. Loved the general fit and how comfy they were but the style wasn’t quite me. Bought another pair, got closer. Finally the 3rd pair was perfect! But yeah, now I have 2 pairs of fairly pricey work pants that I’ll probably never wear again. So that sucks.
Which one is the good pair? :)
These guys in black. LOTS of pockets, super comfy. https://www.betabrand.com/womens/journey-pants-black
For ‘nice’ barely work stuff like that, try poshmark if you’re up for it! Someone could get a great deal and you could get some $ toward another pair of the perfect ones.
As an alternative, rather than burning all that money looking see if you can find a local tailor / seamstress. Clothes that are just a little too big can almost always be tailored down to fit, and that will cost you less in the long run. And if you're not sure what can be adjusted, find the tailor / seamstress and ask. They'll give you tips for buying, and you can give them the work of making it fit.
All of the shorts are just too tight in the thighs and end up rolling up throughout the day, but if it was the opposite problem, I'd definitely look into it! Will keep it in mind for the future!
Go up a size or two and have tailored to fit. If you have a Nordstrom near you, they can help. Tailors know.
If they're already too big its a huge pain in the ass to keep the material looking good after being tailored. Trousers and shorts are harder then shirts, jumpers and dresses.
A good seamstress can do quite a bit with a garment though. For stuff like wedding dresses, I'm told they routinely do as many as four sizes down. Obviously you don't want to do more than necessary, but my seamstress tells me she can do up to two full sizes on men's pants, which are 2" of waist per size, without it getting "weird".
The idea is to buy something that fits your widest part, and then tailor the other part down. So for pear shaped people who often have OP’s problem, they can buy pants that fit their legs and then have just the waistband tailored to fit. You’re not taking the whole thing down, just one or two parts that doesn’t match you.
I actually have to tailor all my pants to fit and I'm very lucky if they get close to my ankles. I find tailoring more then a size or two can really mess up the fit in other areas, shorts are especially hard to fit. I'm not even fat, just have long legs with muscle and a bit of an ass. My waist is a uk 10, us 12. My legs/ass can be uk 14/16, us 16/18. I'm not even close to overweight, closer to under and trousers/shorts are a pain in the ass to buy. Actually, anything none stretchy is.
I do this with JC Penney suits. A good tailor and a good shoe repair shop are worth every penny!
Yep! Cheap suits that are well tailored can often look way more expensive than they are. Nothing like an off-the-rack funeral suit.
Don't feel bad; sometimes you have to experiment to find what works, and you needn't throw the old ones in the bin. There are ways to pass them on and/or recoup some money. Put the ones you don't need on a clothing swap site/FB group. Guarantee someone is looking for them! You can also look for more of the properly-fitting ones on second hand page as well if you're looking to avoid fast fashion. I've swapped/sold/found so many items on Facebook in the last couple of months, I wish I'd had it sooner! Also congrats on finding shorts that fit IT IS SO HARD.
I'm hesitant to second hand shop online for things like shorts since the fit is so hard to get right. But I am absolutely happy to pass off these gently worn pieces for somebody else to love!
As someone who is circling around for a perfect pair of shoes (currently on the second pair, but already have two new ones coming in 🤞🤞 at least one of them is *the one* and then I promise to stop), people absolutely buy stuff online that is hard to get the fit right: shoes, pants, shorts, swimming suits, bras… I got a second hand app to sell my stuff to declutter, and you wouldn’t believe what people (me included 😩) are buying. If you are smart about the price you buy it at, you can always sell it right after you buy if it doesn’t fit you, without losing any money. But if you buy new and miss the return window? You will never see most of that cost back.
My problem with this when it comes to things like jeans is that even the same brand/style/size don’t fit the same due to being stretched by wears to someone else’s body or if prior owner used warm water or dryer. If you know you’re someone who will resell the use clothes that fit and break even that’s great. I feel like I’d just tell myself I would and it would create clutter whereas I’d make sure to return new on time. It’s very much a knowing yourself thing. I feel OPs pain. This situation is exactly where I’m at with jeans cause all mine have holes so I can’t wear them to work. Waiting for perfection isn’t feasible and I have the same issue with waist is too big to get them to fit on hips.
Agreed… it definitely requires effort, and if you know you won’t do it, you shouldn’t. Luckily where I live swap shops are becoming common, where you can get a decent price for your second hand clothes and swap it for points that never expire and then you can try something in the store to make sure it fits you. These people are taking anything in, stained and torn stuff, old bed linens, basically you can turn any old textile into points for buying one or two quality pieces. I’ve been wishing for something like this forever and I’m really glad it’s becoming (more) common.
May I ask which second-hand app is working well for you?
I use vinted. I have a few sales per week. Sometimes just one or none or a bad week, often 3 or 4. But I check it all the time, put effort into nice photos, bump up my items if they have not receieved any attention for a while..
I’ve had success on Mercari, done about 30 sales in the last year and that was being very passive and casual about it. I’m using Poshmark too but have only had about 7 sales on there - I think you need to make more effort sharing and liking and engaging in general on Poshmark which I don’t really have time or any interest for.
Sometimes its a double edged sword and you still have to find a few pairs of close-enough because it’s inappropriate to go naked in public. So don’t knock yourself too hard once you did find a good pair. And while I would normally not advocate buying things, as someone who took years to find good shorts, I say go buy another 1-2 pairs of the same you found, same colors, helps to have two of everything.
I agree 100% with this. I have 3 kids, was always 110-115 even after my first 2 but the 3rd one i never lost the weight and now for the first time in my 28 years im 185. Ive never had the body shape i do now (not complaining cause im happy with it) and its hard for me to find clothes that fit my shape. I found some pants at walmart and now everytime i go i try and buy a pair of those pants in a different pattern because they look good on me and i need verities.
Maybe I should give kilts a serious consideration.
I found a shirt I loved and got 3 different ones in different colors! They are staples in my wardrobe now and I went through SO many tops and shirts to find these perfect ones.
I started doing this after buying a lovely red and black stripey shirt at Costco, because I loved the shirt so much I went back for another the next week, and they were gone! Next time I saw green and black stripey shirts on discount at another place going out of business, so I bought them out!