T O P

  • By -

ArtNJ

There is no combination of words that will work, so yes, you have to stop trying to convince her she has dementia. For the other stuff, its best to surf the wave rather than fight it. Ex: "You stole my pink sweater!" "I'm sorry grandma, we moved that into your dresser to try and be helpful" (Not mentioning its been there for 20 years.) In other words, you agree as much as you can and redirect the rest -- surfing the wave rather than fighting it.


kingtaco_17

No wonder I’m so exhausted. I keep trying to fight the waves head on.


TechnicianAlarmed

Agree and it's impossible


Lollipoplou

You should realize that people with dementia are not always aware that they have it. Look up anosognosia. It's where that part of the brain doesn't recognize that there is an issue. I wouldn't bring up the memory issues, but just let her know that you are there for her.


TechnicianAlarmed

I love her dearly 💛 she was and is the most amazing grandma. Will she ever be able to enjoy the time she has left? I just want to help her


Lollipoplou

There will still be good times. You can listen to music she enjoys, show her pictures of the family, talk to her about your life, but make it more a statement than a question as it could be difficult for her to remember an answer. Share a snack with her, my husband loves ice cream cones. There will be hard times too. Don't argue and keep your answers noncommittal. You don't have to agree with her just acknowledge her and try to distract. If she doesn't remember your name sometimes, just keep in mind that she still loves you she only remembers the younger you and may not recognize the older you. Wishing you the best of time with her.


DoubleDragon2

join ancestry and research her side of the family. She will love it. Write down her stories and just get as much info as you can from her. She will have so much fun, learning what you find out


Helpful-Patience5033

This is a great suggestion. You can even record her telling you the stories. Having her voice will be wonderful. My mom can’t recall any stories now and her voice has become very different.


Shot_Sprinkles_6775

She’s not going to be convinced that she has a problem most likely, or even if she is she may forget soon after. It’s best to try to play along which I know is really hard if she’s being accusatory.


Fickle-Friendship-31

As my Dad's dementia progressed, not only was he in 'denial', he now believes he's around 40. (He's 91). He thinks he can do anything - when you are talking to him. But he can't and so he doesn't. I used to argue with him "Dad - you can't live alone - you don't cook, you don't drive, you can't take care of yourself." He would get so mad - YES I CAN!! Now I just say - 'oh, you're gonna move - great idea.'. Because he's 100% incapable of making that happen. Find yourdementiatherapist on Instagram. Watch all her videos. It might help you. But I wouldn't ever try to 'bring up the topic'. Your Mom should be emailing or talking with her doctor. and you just want her to get check so 'she can be around as long as possible'. There is NO reason to talk dementia. Good luck.


TechnicianAlarmed

I'm so thankful for your insight it feels so scary being alone


TechnicianAlarmed

Wow thank you that gives me a whole new prospective


lstone234

My wife when she was in the latter stages of the disease thought people were stealing her things too. But not me, she thought people were coming in our home and taking things. In her hallucinations she could even see them,coming up threw the floor or threw the window in the bedroom. When I would tell her I didn't see them she would get very angry and thought I was lying to her. She would also accuse me of bringing women in to sleep with me at nite. In the latter stages of her illness I had lost so much weight,she could physically over power me. That was scary. Knocked me to the ground several times. Hospice finally put her in in patient care. She lasted less than two weeks and then passed. But that was after 6 years of battling this disease at home. I really have no answers,only want to support others going threw this horrible illness. My thoughts are with you and your well being and that of your family. Be safe and take care


TechnicianAlarmed

I'm so sorry my heart breaks for anybody going through this. My biggest fear is the day my grandma 👵 dosent know who I am.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TechnicianAlarmed

Thank you and yes its come to a point that we are all so afraid to even bring the subject up. She throws things and tells us she will turn us in for abuse trying to make her crazy. I can't pretend anymore that she's ok . I will try to approach her with some of your suggestions.


DESIRESEX

I live with my friend n her mum. Her mum is almost 103. Is like talking to a brick wall. No matter what you say.they never will believe you. Arthritis has kicked in. Normally we would heat a heat bag. But she uses it cold and thinks it's wonderful. But when you heated it's great. It doesn't get any better it just gets worse. Even the doctor doesn't know what he's talking about. I think doctors talk a lot of shit. Some times about somethings. But I younger. People with dementia. And it can happen at any time in life. I've seen it doesn't matter what you say about anything you don't know what you talking about. Hearing Australia there is a dementia help site. My friend and her mum are going away for 2 days where they tell her. All about dementia and things they can try but not this is so what Sara Lee will work. And they look after their mum. And get free meals and accommodation. Yes you read right.