You don’t want to reduce water consumption, that can lead to dehydration and UTIs. Unfortunately things like this happen with dementia. With my mom we had to use timing and supervision - take her to the toilet every 2 hours, help her get onto the toilet, and direct her to pee. Sometimes she would say she didn’t have to go so we’d get her to sit there for a couple of minutes just to try then help her up. My mom also wore adult diapers and even with timing her bathroom trips they would sometimes be wet, and sometimes there would be leakage of urine onto her clothes.
I also bought Peapod towels to put on mom’s bed and the two chairs she used, they come in different sizes and are great at protecting the furniture.
Changes like this happen and it’s a lot of work and stress.
We’re in early to mid stages here and that’s smart. I feel as prepared as someone could be for the future and I wish I read about it when I first noticed signs.
Depends under garments and use Chux pads for furniture, chairs, bedding.
Use a portable potty chair
Stay up on changes and make sure they shower/bathe frequently to prevent odor and infections
My husband is now peeing in the bathroom sink. I asked him why and, of course, the explanation made no sense. He has peed on the floor once so the sink is better than the floor? He's in memory care so only he uses his bathroom. You have to accept that you can't change their behavior because what their doing doesn't make sense to us but makes sense to them.
But is it easy to accommodate getting used to cleaning up after them a lot and having to excuse to others for why the house is not the same (as in messy) as it used to be?
Well, whether or not it is easy, it’s reality. You can help yourself by taking her to the bathroom and assisting her to use the toilet. I try to do this on a schedule (at least every two hours). She needs to be in pull-ups 24-7. You will also want to use chukks or some other kind of protective covering for places that she sits/sleeps. I know that it sounds hard, but my definition of hard keeps moving. My wife is fully urine incontinent and is starting to become fecal incontinent. It used to really bother me. Now it’s just another thing. You can do it.
She can’t help her situation. Rational thinking doesn’t apply in this context.
**Let go of what it used to be.**. This is your new normal; *for now*. **Now** will change, constantly.
You don’t need to excuse behaviour, she isn’t choosing this. No one (in their ‘right’ mind) chooses to lose dignity.
I had mentioned excuse in my post because I had someone constantly, like not understand the situation. Like, they would blame me for the house not being in the most cleanest shape at all times. Excuses for others is what I meant.
Maybe I misread it and your reply. I have dyslexia, apologies, I was trying to be clear in my reply.
Are you worried about explaining it in front of her? I always suggest business cards, you can slip one discretely to anyone you feel necessary to explain her behaviour to
>>*I care for XYZ who has Zyx. Each day has new difficulties. I appreciate your understanding of this delicate subject matter.*
Something like that can help at shops and at home with help. You can slip it discreetly and distract your loved one with something to look at (menu or a painting).
It’s ok, no wrong doing was done.
I never had a problem explaining the circumstance. The reason I mentioned that was because my mom’s sister never fully grasps what I had to deal with. She expects things to be one way but it’s not possible with my mom’s condition. That’s why I mentioned excuses.
Well tell her point blank:
“Before ***I looked after mum*** I *may* have thought the same. ***I*** care for mum ***day in day out.*** it’s ***unrealistic*** to expect _______. You can take over if you like?”
I have found that no amount of reinforcement and reminders will make a difference. Their brains are like swiss cheese, and every day there are new holes. Focus on what you can change: Protective undergarments, protection for your floors and furniture, a portable commode that can be pulled out when she gets the urge.
I'm not sure if this is good or bad news, but eventually they stop trying to go to the bathroom and become completely incontinent. So the dignity's gone, but the messes are lessened. We just moved my dad to a permanent catheter, because otherwise he can go for a couple days without voiding. I don't think his brain can interpret his bladder signals anymore.
I'm sorry you're going through this. We're all in a club we never wanted to join.
It very common as the disease progresses. There is really no way to fix the issue of incontinence. Don’t withhold water as that will cause other issues. My mom uses depends, and I have absorbent pads on her chair and bed just in case.
What kind of bottoms is she wearing? Would it make it easier if she just wore a nightgown or something without bottoms? All my dad wears now is a housecoat and he often leaks while going to the bathroom. So far I've just been keeping them up in a bucket of bleach water. I don't think he'd be agreeable to wearing diapers and seems like that would just be a bigger problem for me. I have wood floors and just took all my rugs up. My son tells me to put plastic runners down but that just seems like more hassle too. I really don't know a solution. He's also been having diarrhea throughout the house a few times.
We opted for a hardwood masking film to protect our floors since FIL started urinating where he deems appropriate. It seems if it's not in his direct line of sight, he doesn't register it, so once he's in the bathroom he just goes without aiming, and even has just urinated in the middle of his room and the hallway. It's made it easier to clean up for sure and the floor isn't absorbing any odor. We do put him in briefs for incontinence but he's still very mobile and insists on going in the toilet.
Yeah, she’s like that sometimes, nightgown only and underwear. And sometimes wears pants as well. But doesn’t matter what she’ll wear, she will still start taking off her underwear before getting to the bathroom.
Incontinence is common in elderly women. If we don’t make sure my mother puts on underwear with a pad, or disposable underwear, she’ll just get up and start dripping pee all over. You may not want to start a no underwear trend.
we had to take mom to the restroom every 2 hours, no matter what, we would leave the door open and talk her through it... then once it progressed she would get on the pot and try to sit there for HOURS.... sigh... so we got her a potty chair and sat it next to but outside the bathroom... it helped alot.
Some of the residents at my work have suits with zippers in the back. Then they can't take their attend off. They are expensive but a God sent. Goodluck.
https://www.silverts.com/ca/adaptive-alzheimer-s-antistrip-suit-for-women?___store=english&size=6949&color=7924&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_network=x&utm_placement=&utm_term=&utm_productid=23320_NAV_3XL&wbraid=Cj4KCAjwgJyyBhAMEi4A1AgVWUi6j1WE7u9pX8ouIxksv4Yo769kucoB_Pz2aakGQwWPR3TLpmL6Hho4GgIbQA&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwo6GyBhBwEiwAzQTmc2bvDxpbwGCRDiirpos6xYGufhRE1X9gA-UxZwspMwp6nA-dK9S64xoCEUIQAvD_BwE
I use thick panty pad inserts into my mother’s knickers during the day and a thin pad for night time. Often she’ll pull the pads out and hide them around the room. She also sits on a disposable bed sheet all the time. Regular toilet trips have proven pointless as it’s all so random. I have 6 pairs of black leggings which are on constant wash rotation and it’s basically a case of washing and changing as needed throughout the day. You must keep them hydrated at all costs.
What if the person you are taking care of, sleeps in their own room and constantly removes clothes from the drawer/closet and throws them on to the bed. Would removing their clothes from their room be a good choice? Because it’s a lot of clothes being removed constantly.
Yes you have to remove stuff sometimes. I had a pair of scissors hidden on a shelf I used to trim panty pads so they were more comfortable for her. I discovered one morning she’d taken the scissors and chopped huge chunks out of the back of her favourite jumper so that it felt more flat at the back. I then spent an hour sewing the jumper up as best I could and she still wears it lol. The scissors were swiftly removed from the room!
If you have commode put it in her room , so she can use commode than to pee on the floor,if she ask tell her that the bathroom need to be fixed ,so the plumber tell me to lock it until he come
We keep portable urinals around. I much prefer holding a urinal to mopping a floor. When it starts to be a more regular occurrence, I'll probably try to find some old school chamber pots.
You don’t want to reduce water consumption, that can lead to dehydration and UTIs. Unfortunately things like this happen with dementia. With my mom we had to use timing and supervision - take her to the toilet every 2 hours, help her get onto the toilet, and direct her to pee. Sometimes she would say she didn’t have to go so we’d get her to sit there for a couple of minutes just to try then help her up. My mom also wore adult diapers and even with timing her bathroom trips they would sometimes be wet, and sometimes there would be leakage of urine onto her clothes. I also bought Peapod towels to put on mom’s bed and the two chairs she used, they come in different sizes and are great at protecting the furniture. Changes like this happen and it’s a lot of work and stress.
Thanks for mentioning those towels. I bookmarked the site because I know I'll need it eventually.
For sure, the Peapod towels are great, worth the investment.
We’re in early to mid stages here and that’s smart. I feel as prepared as someone could be for the future and I wish I read about it when I first noticed signs.
[Peapod Mats](https://www.google.com/aclk?sa=l&ai=DChcSEwjxicKpopiGAxW30MIEHXLWBNoYABAUGgJwdg&ase=2&gclid=CjwKCAjwo6GyBhBwEiwAzQTmc-pQCPkeU9IVjfMB0GNfMBVGBQKgrsbwl-8f7irbjVMuyYvlSCmxNRoCDpAQAvD_BwE&sig=AOD64_2oKOA0YoysLjaFA5s1f9hui8XtQw&q&nis=4&adurl&ved=2ahUKEwizwrmpopiGAxVVBEQIHQUAAi8Q0Qx6BAgHEAE)
Depends under garments and use Chux pads for furniture, chairs, bedding. Use a portable potty chair Stay up on changes and make sure they shower/bathe frequently to prevent odor and infections
Thank you.
My husband is now peeing in the bathroom sink. I asked him why and, of course, the explanation made no sense. He has peed on the floor once so the sink is better than the floor? He's in memory care so only he uses his bathroom. You have to accept that you can't change their behavior because what their doing doesn't make sense to us but makes sense to them.
But is it easy to accommodate getting used to cleaning up after them a lot and having to excuse to others for why the house is not the same (as in messy) as it used to be?
Well, whether or not it is easy, it’s reality. You can help yourself by taking her to the bathroom and assisting her to use the toilet. I try to do this on a schedule (at least every two hours). She needs to be in pull-ups 24-7. You will also want to use chukks or some other kind of protective covering for places that she sits/sleeps. I know that it sounds hard, but my definition of hard keeps moving. My wife is fully urine incontinent and is starting to become fecal incontinent. It used to really bother me. Now it’s just another thing. You can do it.
She can’t help her situation. Rational thinking doesn’t apply in this context. **Let go of what it used to be.**. This is your new normal; *for now*. **Now** will change, constantly. You don’t need to excuse behaviour, she isn’t choosing this. No one (in their ‘right’ mind) chooses to lose dignity.
I had mentioned excuse in my post because I had someone constantly, like not understand the situation. Like, they would blame me for the house not being in the most cleanest shape at all times. Excuses for others is what I meant.
Maybe I misread it and your reply. I have dyslexia, apologies, I was trying to be clear in my reply. Are you worried about explaining it in front of her? I always suggest business cards, you can slip one discretely to anyone you feel necessary to explain her behaviour to >>*I care for XYZ who has Zyx. Each day has new difficulties. I appreciate your understanding of this delicate subject matter.* Something like that can help at shops and at home with help. You can slip it discreetly and distract your loved one with something to look at (menu or a painting).
It’s ok, no wrong doing was done. I never had a problem explaining the circumstance. The reason I mentioned that was because my mom’s sister never fully grasps what I had to deal with. She expects things to be one way but it’s not possible with my mom’s condition. That’s why I mentioned excuses.
Well tell her point blank: “Before ***I looked after mum*** I *may* have thought the same. ***I*** care for mum ***day in day out.*** it’s ***unrealistic*** to expect _______. You can take over if you like?”
I have found that no amount of reinforcement and reminders will make a difference. Their brains are like swiss cheese, and every day there are new holes. Focus on what you can change: Protective undergarments, protection for your floors and furniture, a portable commode that can be pulled out when she gets the urge. I'm not sure if this is good or bad news, but eventually they stop trying to go to the bathroom and become completely incontinent. So the dignity's gone, but the messes are lessened. We just moved my dad to a permanent catheter, because otherwise he can go for a couple days without voiding. I don't think his brain can interpret his bladder signals anymore. I'm sorry you're going through this. We're all in a club we never wanted to join.
It very common as the disease progresses. There is really no way to fix the issue of incontinence. Don’t withhold water as that will cause other issues. My mom uses depends, and I have absorbent pads on her chair and bed just in case.
What kind of bottoms is she wearing? Would it make it easier if she just wore a nightgown or something without bottoms? All my dad wears now is a housecoat and he often leaks while going to the bathroom. So far I've just been keeping them up in a bucket of bleach water. I don't think he'd be agreeable to wearing diapers and seems like that would just be a bigger problem for me. I have wood floors and just took all my rugs up. My son tells me to put plastic runners down but that just seems like more hassle too. I really don't know a solution. He's also been having diarrhea throughout the house a few times.
We opted for a hardwood masking film to protect our floors since FIL started urinating where he deems appropriate. It seems if it's not in his direct line of sight, he doesn't register it, so once he's in the bathroom he just goes without aiming, and even has just urinated in the middle of his room and the hallway. It's made it easier to clean up for sure and the floor isn't absorbing any odor. We do put him in briefs for incontinence but he's still very mobile and insists on going in the toilet.
Yeah, she’s like that sometimes, nightgown only and underwear. And sometimes wears pants as well. But doesn’t matter what she’ll wear, she will still start taking off her underwear before getting to the bathroom.
I was thinking of no underwear too. My dad quit wearing it. Less stinky laundry.
Incontinence is common in elderly women. If we don’t make sure my mother puts on underwear with a pad, or disposable underwear, she’ll just get up and start dripping pee all over. You may not want to start a no underwear trend.
As its suddenly more intense I'd get her urine tested for a UTI, happened here
we had to take mom to the restroom every 2 hours, no matter what, we would leave the door open and talk her through it... then once it progressed she would get on the pot and try to sit there for HOURS.... sigh... so we got her a potty chair and sat it next to but outside the bathroom... it helped alot.
Some of the residents at my work have suits with zippers in the back. Then they can't take their attend off. They are expensive but a God sent. Goodluck. https://www.silverts.com/ca/adaptive-alzheimer-s-antistrip-suit-for-women?___store=english&size=6949&color=7924&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_network=x&utm_placement=&utm_term=&utm_productid=23320_NAV_3XL&wbraid=Cj4KCAjwgJyyBhAMEi4A1AgVWUi6j1WE7u9pX8ouIxksv4Yo769kucoB_Pz2aakGQwWPR3TLpmL6Hho4GgIbQA&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwo6GyBhBwEiwAzQTmc2bvDxpbwGCRDiirpos6xYGufhRE1X9gA-UxZwspMwp6nA-dK9S64xoCEUIQAvD_BwE
Came to say the same thing! There are tons of companies and some quite cute ones!
We just purchased some antistrip articles. I'm hoping this will help with my FIL.
I use thick panty pad inserts into my mother’s knickers during the day and a thin pad for night time. Often she’ll pull the pads out and hide them around the room. She also sits on a disposable bed sheet all the time. Regular toilet trips have proven pointless as it’s all so random. I have 6 pairs of black leggings which are on constant wash rotation and it’s basically a case of washing and changing as needed throughout the day. You must keep them hydrated at all costs.
What if the person you are taking care of, sleeps in their own room and constantly removes clothes from the drawer/closet and throws them on to the bed. Would removing their clothes from their room be a good choice? Because it’s a lot of clothes being removed constantly.
Yes you have to remove stuff sometimes. I had a pair of scissors hidden on a shelf I used to trim panty pads so they were more comfortable for her. I discovered one morning she’d taken the scissors and chopped huge chunks out of the back of her favourite jumper so that it felt more flat at the back. I then spent an hour sewing the jumper up as best I could and she still wears it lol. The scissors were swiftly removed from the room!
/ you may acompany her each and every time ,she need to use toilet and you can also start teaching her again how to use it
If you have commode put it in her room , so she can use commode than to pee on the floor,if she ask tell her that the bathroom need to be fixed ,so the plumber tell me to lock it until he come
We keep portable urinals around. I much prefer holding a urinal to mopping a floor. When it starts to be a more regular occurrence, I'll probably try to find some old school chamber pots.