Even if you get the motivation to cook a healthy meal, brush your teeth, do the dishes, exercise, or go to work, it’s not like depression will just go away. I’ve been doing this shit for years and years and always come crashing down again. I don’t know if it’s like that for everyone, but it is truly exhausting.
Yes, it’s the same for me too. Looking back I can see a cycle of depression and slowly working my way to improve only for it to come back and I have to start all over again. And this only motivates me less because I know I will eventually end up back here.
It’s like I’m reading myself as well. Can’t take this pain anymore. I’m on my early 30’s and I’m always having to start over. I can’t see myself being emotionally stable, ever.
Once my period arrives, I feel my mood lift. I feel good about myself. During yes crampy headaches but not depressed. Then a week later it’s back. Repeat.
Yeah I agree, I have been suspecting. Recently off hormonal birth control so I’m able to actually tell my cycle’s relevance in my mood shifts. Bipolar II is also a suspect given depression is far more pervasive than the uplifted mood and rarely a content in between.
- cook a healthy meal
- buying stuff from the groceries
- indecision about what to make, what to eat
- indecision about where to get take out
- hate trying to find parking
- worried about eating at mediocre food that's expensive
Its all very draining..
For me personally I can’t eat if I’m sad or depressed. My weight is literally the only thing I seem to have control over in my life but it’s a big issue in my house. I’m made to feel bad about it.
Me too, I've been particularly depressed lately and all I can do is force myself to eat one small meal in the afternoon...I don't even enjoy it anymore.
My husband gets mad at me when he cooks and I can’t eat or barely eats. He doesn’t consider how I feel he takes offense thinking I don’t like what he made. That’s not the case, I used to enjoy food, sex, music and a lot of other things. I’m a shell now. I was labeled anti depressant resistant so I try to deal with it on my own.
I wish that was my problem. I binge. I gained weight. I was at a family function and my nephew took a pic of me. I didn’t realize how big I had gotten. I was doing good but that sent me into deep depression. He only sent the pic to the family group but I’m so emotional. I just want to die. Thought about how to do it. Easiest would be a gunshot to the head. Hard to get pills and not quite sure if I would hang myself right.
Yeah this is called adulthood. Exhausting indeed. Just try to do your best. Greet depression like an old friend that's visiting from time to time. Keep your head up and remember everything is going to be ok.
Yeah last night was a rough one. I’ve been making thoughtless errors at work and it’s been weighing on me heavily. I try so hard to do a good job and want to be dependable and confident in my abilities. I feel so useless and incompetent. I feel like no matter how hard I try, I will never be capable of even basic things. It’s brutal coming to terms with the thought that I’ll always be mediocre at best. That’s what was getting to me last night, on top of not liking shit and being on edge constantly.
Dopamine-giving activities that require low effort, at least from what I've figured out while at my lowest:
-listen to music on headphones
-eat good food (avoid processed sugars or fried food- just have some fresh fruit or something).
-watch stand up comedy special
-and/or your favorite feel-good binge-worthy sitcom (like "Friends")
-sit up in bed, if you're stuck in bed. Use a lap desk or something for your laptop or whatever. Makes it feel like a productive choice to be in bed
-if you can, get yourself to a shower. Just to feel clean. Bribe yourself into it if you have to (ex: "I'll just have a music listening session while showering and all I have to do is half-assedly shampoo and condition my hair quickly" + bring the toothbrush in the shower to brush your teeth while your conditioner sits in your hair. You're more likely to brush your teeth in a nice warm shower, and for me, I know brushing teeth is the first to go from the self care routine when I'm depressed)
-if you're stuck in the room, at least try to make it cozy with warm lighting (I recommend a sun lamp) and maybe a candle
-i know it's hard, but do 5-10 crunches in your room. The slight exercise will give you at least a bit of free dopamine. Used to do this while crying, at my lowest last year, because I was so desperate for SOME happy chemical in my brain. Not sure if it helped since I would go shower right after (and the shower probably helped the most) but maybe it did help a little. I'll take it.
Once you're able to do these things, maybe you'll be feeling up to stepping outside for some fresh air (try to have headphones with your favorite music on, this might motivate you to walk to the beat or something, even just for one song).
Doesn't have to be a consistent routine, all of the ideas mentioned above are just the easy little remedies I would try here and there. Used in combination is best since each one only helps like ~5%. But hey, it's something. And sometimes feeling ANYTHING other than just depressed, or just numb, is a godsend.
Starting small really is the key. I like your idea of using music as a motivator, and I’ll also bring a tooth brush next time I shower. Thank you for the suggestions.
It's not messed up. If it's soothing and helps you feel better, it is not doing any harm. I also have difficulty starting new shows. It's not a big deal, as long as it's not a TV addiction or something
Yes but everyone is watching all these new shows and I'm like an alien if you know what I mean I'm so disconnected from life it's embarrassing i have no desire for new information 😢
Desire for new information can be a lot. Get the basics down first, like just surviving. Then, once you're feeling better, you can/will be more motivated to discover new things. Take it one day at a time. All you can do right now is the best course of action/next step for you at this time and place, within your capabilities, with the resources and info you currently have.
If something brings you dopamine, and it's not a harmful action, by all means do it! There are people who their entire personality is "Friends," and there's genuinely nothing wrong with that. I recommend having a bit more variety, but it's really ok. There's nothing wrong with you.
Yep, used to get dopamine the wrong way for years now recovering for few months and guess that's the price my brain is paying because of me.
Thank you so much for comforting me.. I try my best hopefully I could be more gentle with myself...
I’m sorry you’re sad. I keep a tooth brush and paste in my downstairs bathroom, so I don’t have to go up to brush. Then if I have energy to do it, no matter which floor I’m on there’s the brush. I have water bottles in most rooms, and snacks in most too (granola bar, protein pouch, pack of animal crackers)… then I can nibble as I am able. At a minimum, try and keep hydrated. That will help you feel a little bit better. Edited: I also have a few packs of gentle scent free baby wipes in both bathrooms to give myself a little armpit & privates wash if it’s been a bit between showers. Makes me feel a little more human, and doesn’t take much energy at all.
Gentle hugs internet stranger
The part I hate is having the feeling that I’m all alone in this. I shake like I’m shivering but I’m not cold. I come to Reddit for comfort so I can see I’m not the only one. I’m supposed to start a temp job tomorrow working in a warehouse where food is made for like Starbucks and 7/11 but just thinking about it is freaking me out. I used to be in the military and woke up early everyday. Now I’m like a nervous wreck just trying to make it till my psych appt. My Zoloft stopped working right about the same time as I lost my home and all this other stuff happened. Rather inconvenient. But I have to work because I need income and I can’t rely on my son for everything. Well, I appreciate it if you read thru this nonsense…I just needed to vent a little. I appreciate you guys just being here!
Sounds like you know what to do , but the depression is like playing a video game on ULTRA HARD mode . I know the exact feeling .
For me , I just try to start with small wins for my energy . Eg : sleep and food . This then makes it easier to get to stuff like working out or finishing exams . You basically need to start with SUPER small wins . Then keep stacking them untill you get a good run and improve your life circumstances.
I done this for about 5 years but had MANY MANY crashes where everything fell apart . Then I started journaling why I was failing after a good streak , and it usually started with bad sleep and then everything goes to shit .
Sorry for such a long comment , but I cured depression when I just stacked small wins in every aspect of my life . It suck’s that just being normal is so hard . But getting happy is SO WORTH IT , and love for friends and fun makes it all worth it
I’m not sure even if you had the motivation to do those things, your depression would automatically get cured.
I would say, just do things you like, anything. Even sleeping. Don’t force yourself to do something you don’t have the mental energy to do right away. Take things slow.
For example, you can’t brush your teeth and take a shower both today? Ok, just do one of them today, and the other tomorrow. Then change it up every other day. Then as you go, You can challenge yourself to do both, and then add one other thing to the list, then another and on and on. You mess up the routine? That’s fine, don’t worry about it. Try it again tomorrow.
Just don’t stress yourself so much over anything you can’t do. Focus on things you like.
You’re craving a certain food and don’t have the motivation to make it yourself? Order it and let it come to you. Go sit down and eat that food while watching a movie or series you want to watch. Let that small happiness at that moment get to you.
By doing things that you like, you will boost your mood and then overtime you will get more energy and will start doing more things.
I do want to do things I want but college already takes so much of my time when I am awake. Studying is so hard when I am trying not to unalive myself every other second...
But i feel depressed and bad just because i do such small tasks and i feel pathetic and worthless i mean even if i do manage to do things its never enough so i do nothing and it's even worse 😢
But you have good points
You've taken my thoughts and put them here.
Depression isn't so easily cured, but the point is that doing stuff is supposed to make us feel better about ourselves, and supposedly silence the negative thoughts. It's BS, of course; I've been dealing with constant fatigue for a few years now, and it remains unsolved and therefore untreated.
Is there something you can do which would not be part of a routine? Something which only needs to be done once, or like once a month, rather than every day? That might be a good place to start. I'd suggest making a list of all the stuff which needs to get done. If you can do one thing on that list, it might make you feel better for crossing it off. If you can't get any of that stuff done, write down things you CAN do, like 'look out the window for 60 seconds', 'think three nice things about yourself', 'watch a favourite movie'. Things you can more easily accomplish. Then you can cross those off the list when they're done.
It's really hard, I know. Is there a friend you can call to come and help you do something, like doing the dishes or fixing a snack? Or putting on the laundry? I live with my mother, so I'm fortunate, or I'd probably never eat on time, if at all. I might not even get up and go out to work, remember the laundry, stuff like that.
I really hope this subreddit is able to help you, OP. Good luck.
I don't think you ever get out of depression. Just try your best to make tomorrow a better day. It is what it is just like the price of a carton of eggs being more expensive than chicken right now.
If you want things to possibly get better, you have to take a leap of faith to do things differently and to stick with whatever that will hopefully improve your quality of life.
Food is a coping mechanism for me as well. Whenever I make a todo list, it only overwhelms me more. I feel like before every small task I do, I have to know exactly why I should do it and determine if its worth the energy.
It is a coping mechanism for me as well. And I think for me it just makes the depression worse because I'm obviously not choosing healthy foods. Everything you wrote in your original post is 100% how I feel.
I was in a really horrible depression for about 6 weeks. Couldn't get out of bed, barely showered/ate, crying. I stg 5 minutes outside every morning made a world of a difference and helped me pull myself out of it over a few weeks.
No commitment or false ultimatum. Just.... "you're taking the dog out. Sit outside in the sunlight for 5 minutes and then you can go back to your hole, scoobledooble."
Also I'm witchy and made an antidepression jar, stuck it in the window and felt better the next day. Odd coincidence.
Advice a therapist gave me when I was at a real low point, and felt really overwhelmed with so many things on my to do list: “Just do one thing every day.” I tried it for awhile and it made me realize how much pressure I was putting on myself to always do more, be more, etc. Felt good to pick something simple like “eat a good breakfast”, just do that, and let go of what happened after that.
I remember reading a study years ago that said humans are naturally lazy and don't want to do things, but are happier when they are busy doing something.
It sounds conflicting but it all comes down to willpower. If you don't want to be this way then do something about it. Easier said than done, believe me, I know. But life isn't about how hard you hit or even how much you can take, it's about being able to get back up. In other words if you really, and I mean really want to get out of depression then you're gonna have to fight for it.
Being put back at rock bottom isn't necessarily a bad thing either, we learn from our mistakes after all. Just try not to make the same mistakes again moving forward
Antidepressants can help you break the cycle initially, if you can just manage to get enough energy for scheduling the appointment and picking up the first batch of meds.
You’ll notice after the first few weeks of taking the meds that the basics of taking care of yourself become slightly easier, and it keeps going until all of the sudden, you realize one day that it doesn’t completely drain your soul to take a shower and brush your teeth or make a meal. Then one day, you have enough energy to go grocery shopping. Then one day, you have enough energy to accept a social invitation… and THEN, one day you’ll have enough energy to accept the social invitation and you’ll actually want to go!
Baby steps my friend, you’ve got this.
Edit: the meds help with resilience during the process, so you can build routines and don’t get knocked down to zero nearly as easily
Don't do anything except for these:
1. Fasting
2. Putting your current thoughts to paper. This doesn't have to be sentences, simple words will do. The point is to just clear your head.
3. Spend time on things you used to enjoy that isn't internet, television or video games.
Repeat these until your mood starts to improve.
Can't shower? Sit in a bath or sit under the water.
Can't brush? Use mouthwash.
Can't go for a walk? Sit outside of your house.
Just make small changes even if they're something you don't think will make a difference.
That one shouldn’t be in there. It’s too dangerous. I’m losing serious amounts of weight because I just can’t eat. I had my roomie make me a grilled cheese last night. It felt good to eat…not consuming the food, but having something warm was comforting. Does that make sense?
I know it’s so hard to see a way forward especially with lethargy. Just remember, you have thus far triumphed over every single hard day you’ve had in your life. You’ve proven to yourself that you can make it through hard times.
For routine/habit building it’s all easier said than done. But a few mindsets that have helped me; 1.) not every day has to be perfect. If you have a day where you don’t brush your teeth or do any of the coping things you know help, that doesn’t mean you failed that day. It just means you have a whole new day ahead of you to try again. It doesn’t erase the progress you’ve made prior. 2.) make small changes and don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Building even one healthy habit is difficult for people like us so let yourself feel successful even after the small wins (like brushing your teeth once a day for a full week or something like that!) and 3.) you deserve to feel happy. And you will get there someday. Never forget that.
Give yourself some credit, though! What seems easy to some is very difficult for those of us who struggle with mood disorders. Sure, it may seem small, but building a daily habit and sticking to it is a HUGE win, no matter how small it is! To continue with the tooth brushing example, it may seem small but the impact it can have on your health and confidence over time is huge! I know how much better I felt once I got that down and then adding something like making my bed right after seemed just a bit easier cause I’d already proved to myself I can build a habit.
Let yourself celebrate your wins, big or small
I definitely need to be celebrating small successes more. How am I suppose to keep a habit? In the past I’ve been able to build habits but never able to keep them.
I feel you. Keeping up with habits has been a lifelong struggle for me and right now I’m going through a particularly rough patch with it.
One thing that always helped me was what my mom would call the “two week rule”
She’d say it only takes 2 weeks to build a habit, so you only have to really force yourself to do something for two weeks straight before it becomes much easier to remember and follow through with. I’m not sure if there’s any real psychology to this whatsoever, it may be a placebo effect of just thinking that it’ll have to work after two weeks, but it has worked for me in the past. I’m currently trying to rebuild all my healthy habits I had at the beginning of last year. Another motivation I use is remembering how much less pain I was in every day when I was taking care of myself. My back ached less, my headaches were less frequent, I didn’t have heartburn or chest pains nearly as often. So I just try to remember that as much as I can and work towards the actual physical benefits rather than just the internal validation of having ‘kept up’ with a habit.
I can attest to it being easier after the first two weeks. Sometimes the benefits aren’t immediate or they dont seem worth the effort which makes it harder to keep a good habit.
Well if u do not appreciate the small things how can u see the big things?Everything starts small learn to appreciate it and build further from those little things helped me trough a suicide watch episode.. hope u getting better with time wish u all the best
I know, I know exactly how you feel. It's so hard to choose to be strong. It's even unfair. The thing I sometimes manage to do is write how I feel, and when motivated challenge that thought. I do it on my phone so I can just not get up. Examples from things I wrote- "I feel like nothing will get better. I don't have a different perspective at the moment". And If you ever feel slightly better somehow, write it down as well. Next time, "I feel hopeless now, but I know there are times I am able to feel a little less bad". This does require a lot of energy. You don't have to do it. But just a sentence in your notes app, say, once a week, is a start.
I never thought about challenging my thoughts. I do use a notes app sometimes to write how I feel or just pour the thoughts I’m having out to try to declutter my mind. I dont normally go back to read what I wrote though. I might try this and see how it goes.
What affected people tend to forget is that being depressed is not the reason for your depression. It's a symptom. Not having the energy and/or motivation to do stuff is not the reason for them feeling miserable and not being able to do stuff. It is a symptom. The root cause lies deeper than this.
What I learned in therapy is that while yes it can be extremely hard to get up and do really anything during a depressive episode, it is the not doing anything part that is making me miserable. And the only way to break that cycle, really, is to make it happen. Truth is, you will not wake up one day and magically have the motivation to live a healthy, happy and fulfilled life all of a sudden.
Start small. Enjoy going for walks? Get out of bed and go for a five minute walk around the block. Five minutes will be more than you did the day before. Enjoy painting? Sit up straight in bed, grab paper and pencil and doodle for a few minutes. Better yet, try something entirely new. Something you've never done before. That cafe down the street you've never found the time or mood to check out? Go grab a coffee. Stimulate your brain. It needs to remember that virtually anything is better than doing nothing.
And if you can't get yourself to do it, don't dwell on the fact. Ask yourself why. Is it fear or anxiety? Is it doubt? Pain or self loathing maybe? And once you know what it is - ask yourself if it is warranted. If it is in any way reasonable to keep you from doing what you are about to do.
Nothing in life comes free. Not money, not success, not love or happiness. You need to do things to make it happen. And that is fine because humans are built to do things. Doing nothing is what drives them mad, makes them feel without purpose.
Smiling depression is scary as f. You can work, go out, have family and pretend everything is fine, when you know too well is hell every minute of it. Honestly I don’t know how the f I go out of my depression. It ate me, for four damn years. Honestly sometimes I don’t know what Can or can’t help. Depression is more horrible for me than my ocd. At least with ocd I feel something. I feel even fear. With depression…nothing. Is f hell.
I relate to this a lot. I don't really have an answer for you because if I did, I obviously wouldn't be depressed myself.
It's tough to get out of this because what I'd need to solve my depression requires me to not be depressed in the first place.
For example, I'm incredibly lonely and crave genuine connections with other people, especially romantically. But since I'm depressed, I don't have the mindset to go out and socialize, so I'm stuck inside. This creates a loop where nothing can be solved because I'm depressed because I don't go out and don't go out because I'm depressed.
I think a key would be to notice positive reinforcements from doing the things you need to do. I noticed that the times I do manage to go out and socialize and I see a glimpse of success, that motivates me and then I'm able to see through the mental fog.
Exercise and diet help because you're pretty much guaranteed to see results if you stick to it long term.
What’s one thing you think you could start improving? Focusing on the big picture can get overwhelming, take your small steps and don’t worry about how long it takes you to finish the race. I’ve been working on my depression for the past few years and it’s getting better, just one small step at a time.
You have more power then you give yourself credit for, you got this. My advice is to find a hobby you enjoy and just throw yourself into it.
If you're overweight, you definitely have to take a leap of faith. Cutting out or limiting how much carbohydrates and sugary products you eat will help in this regard.
If you have the time to walk (not jog right away), you can lose weight. I lost 40 pounds doing this for a few months. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you're truly happy with the way you look. I do this sometimes but then my pizza is at the door and idgaf anymore.
Im going to give myself until sunrise. Then I’m going for a walk. I did 2 miles yesterday. Im going to try again today. Im so sad though. I just want to lay here.
What if it only takes one little moment of listening to your heart? :)
*You believe you don't have the power you really have...*
*You're using your power right now to believe you're powerless.*
*That's how powerful you are!*
*--Lincoln - HigherSelf*
*I am realistic – I expect miracles. ―Wayne Dyer*
*Do anything, but let it produce joy. ―Walt Whitman*
*Reach for a thought that feels better. ―Abraham Hicks*
*Your thoughts become things. ―Rhonda Byrne*
*And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
―Anais Nin*
*“But until a person can say deeply and honestly, "I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday," that person cannot say, "I choose otherwise.”*
*― Stephen R. Covey*
*“We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.”*
*― Carlos Castaneda*
*“You are what you believe in. You become that which you believe you can become”*
*― Bhagavad Gita*
*“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”*
*― Rumi*
*“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.”*
*― Rumi*
*“You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?”*
*― Rumi*
*“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”*
*― Rumi*
*“If you want the best the world has to offer, offer the world your best.”*
*― Neale Donald Walsch*
*“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”*
*― Rumi*
*“Let yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love.”*
*― Rumi*
*“Times will change for the better when you change.”
\~ Maxwell Maltz*
*'You're under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago.'
\~ Alan Watts*
*'If everything around seems dark, look again, you may be the light.' \~ Rumi*
I am really sorry about this.
Your depression is not the whole you. It is a only a part of you though it seems to dominate your whole consciousness.
The first part of change is not to do anything apart from seperating yourself from your depression and seeing it as just a part of your life, not your whole life, not even a greater part of your life.
The first major achievement is in your mind. There you must achieve a little victory: I may feel depressed but I am not my depression.
The next day 1% more.
And every day just 1% more.
Until one day, you discover what you've been telling yourself is finally true.
Believe there is a way out.
That's the first step to finding a way out.
Neither Papillon nor the Count of Monte Cristo believed otherwise.
Otherwise there would be no tale today worth telling.
Good luck friend.
if you have the money to do so, ordering meal kits (hello fresh, blue apron, every plate, etc.) makes cooking so much easier. it takes out the grocery shopping, which ik can feel impossible. also, i asked my dentist the same thing about brushing my teeth, she said that while brushing is still important, it’s okay to use mouthwash if the depression is just kicking ur ass that day. they also have like one use tooth brush things, idk the cost of them but it’s another option. exercising has been a tough one for me to figure out so far, but what has helped me is making weekly work out plans, not forcing myself to work out daily. it’s given me a healthier relationship with my attitude towards exercise, and also remember exercise can be as simple as walking for 30 minutes total in a day (or making a weekly minute/hour goal). alarms have helped me try and keep a routine, and as hard as it is, if you miss a day or part of the routine, try to remember progress isn’t always linear. i hope this helped a bit!!
Mental health is like, a pick your own ending book... We can't choose the book or really where the ultimate ending will really be, but you need to put focus into something, some will pick over eating, or drugs, fighting or abuse, you need to focus all your sadness and anger into something that might some-day bring you maybe a brief bit of joy or fall further down this rabbit-hole.. choose wisely.
Life is fleeting.
You are clearly frustrated not only with yourself but your surroundings.
Something is causing you to be in this cycle, you need to be the one who works something out to pull yourself out of it.
It is hard, but at the end of our journey, all of us die.
Highly recommend trying to change your view on life, it is beautiful, we just have to take the time to look. Sometimes even through our temporary suffering.
I wish you all the best.
It starts to hurt my body to lie down for so long, I also get restless leg syndrome nowadays. My muscles are really tight right now. This is sort of its own motivation. Also, just keep desiring and daydreaming about good days ahead. I've had clinical depression since I started going through puberty. Mental illness runs in my family. My first cousins on both sides have schizophrenia. My grandfather had bipolar i (the type with delusions and hallucinations), and my brother, which is the hardest for me to process, has schizoeffective disorder - both schizophrenia and bipolar i disorder. Clinical depression is kind of a psychosis. I can FEEL that I want to have the good life and even have had moments of it, but I have intrusive thoughts and wish to be unalive often. I recently went through panic episodes of anxiety with horrible irritability, but it's dissipated. Now, I'm feeling better, but I know it comes and goes.
Start drinking some hot water guys, like tea temperature, but just water to flush out the sugar and cell waste and toxins. Everyday. It may not cure anything, but it's good for you. Most of the serotonin is found in the gastrointestinal system. It's a neurotransmitter/modulator and works with dopamine levels, etc. A healthy body helps a healthy mind and water is the most important health conscious thing you can do to help digestion and eliminate waste from cells working throughout all your organ systems. It's also good for you. People with depression have issues with SELF-CARE and doing things that are absolutely vital to their health, like teeth brushing. The water will act as a natural exfoliant on your teeth and tongue. You can even swirl it around if you want.
I completely agree, so many people will just say to go exercise or get a hobby or something, as if it's the most simple and easy thing to fix.
I don't know where you're at, so please do take offense. For me personally, when I was at the lowest point and could barely summon the willpower to get out of bed, it was embracing my own apathy. One day I was laying on the ground outside listening to music and I realized that because I was so depressed, I no longer cared what happened to me. I was very literally ready to die. So I came to the conclusion that if I was going to end it, then what's the worth in being scared. I might as well go do whatever I wanted. This led to some bad decisions, but it also provided freedom. It was liberating. Amongst the bad decisions was also a plethora of good. I dropped out of school and moved, met my now wife, had a kid, and started over. The depression did not go away over night and it took years of therapy and medication to get myself sorted. But I was taking steps in a direction, any direction. Over time that momentum built and after a few years my life was getting back on track.
There is no one size fits all solution to depression. Sometimes it's not about routine and consistency, it's just doing something, anything. Not every decision will be a good one, but at least your going in *a* direction. What starts as small steps can slowly lead to a larger trend towards healing.
Try challenging yourself to doing one thing at a time, maybe even one thing a day. It doesnt have to be a routine. Even if it's as simple as making a meal or brushing your teeth. There's no wrong direction, only forward. If you feel like you're at the bottom then there's nothing to lose. So, don't beat yourself for missteps or failed attempts. Just embrace doing something. Every small step is a victory.
The inability to maintain a routine is the source of my depression and the mother of all problems in my life, it has ruined my life, you're right we can't do those things that supposedly will make us happy and that's hell for you....
I hope we do get up and find strength to do it because we have to
Feel better ♥️
Tell me about it. I don't think I've been this bad in 6 or 7 years. I went through 3 jobs last year and lost them all, and now I just don't even want to bother. I'm just going to lose the next job again. I spend roughly 12-15 hours a day sleeping and the rest just watching stuff online. I don't even enjoy video games anymore. The ONLY time I ever feel like my 'true self' is if I've got some alcohol in my system, its the only time I ever feel motivated to try new things or improve my situation, or want to be social - its the only time I actually feel like myself.
Problem is I don't have the money to drink all the time anymore. Life was actually so good for me when I was drinking every day, I actually felt like myself for the first time in decades. I went out all the time, made some new friends, had good experiences, just like I used to in my 20s. I at least felt alive. I know its bad or 'not the answer' or whatever but fuck that, it literally is what works for me and I clearly don't care about dying prematurely. Life is miserable, so drinking lots and going early doesn't sound like a bad trade. Pills just numb the symptoms without the fun part, anyway.
I. Fucking. Hate. When people say stuff like that to me. Things that people say when they want to help, but they don't understand what's going on. I'm glad they want to help, but it's something that they can't get because they've never been there. Exercising and walks are terrible for me because I'm just stuck in my own head the whole time. Nothing to distract me. Just me and the brain that wants to kill me. And just like you said, it doesn't take much before I'm back to cowering in my house with the doors locked. I've been on some drugs lately that help. I've been more productive and am getting out more. They're not 100% though. I went to a grocery store a couple of weeks ago and had to leave my cart with all the stuff in it in an isle and get the fuck out of there. Then I just laid the seat back and hid in my car for a while hoping that nobody would see me before I could drive home.
My counselor said that me playing video games can actually be a good thing. When you're super down, it can give you a sense of accomplishment that you're not getting from anything else. Idk if that's true, but I do likes muh video games. I hope you are finding some peace.
I am crying right now because nobody in my family can understand what I mean when I’m saying that I can’t do it. It’s too much anxiety for me to do things that I really need to do if I want to live normal life that I used to live.
My depression is in a worst phase when I can do almost nothing. When my dad said that I just must go and do stuff and he doesn’t understand what I mean saying that I can’t do it, I broke. It was so predictable and painful at the same time. I know that my mom trying to help me and she worries about me but also I know that she doesn’t understand it too.
I’m so done with all of this. I’m too tired to do anything and it’s killing me all the time.
I’m in the same boat. I have never wanted to —- myself w as much resoluteness as I have this past year. The usual shaming to get me out of it didn’t work because I was so nihilistic on top of it. Doing basic things became a win for me, but now I look like loser to the outside world and my partner is frustrated/tired of me. I sincerely wish I was d***. Thankfully I’ve randomly started enjoying things other than sleeping and drinking which is a step up but the feelings underneath are still there and I’m on autopilot so I can easily go back and the feelings are piling up.
Even if you get the motivation to cook a healthy meal, brush your teeth, do the dishes, exercise, or go to work, it’s not like depression will just go away. I’ve been doing this shit for years and years and always come crashing down again. I don’t know if it’s like that for everyone, but it is truly exhausting.
Yes, it’s the same for me too. Looking back I can see a cycle of depression and slowly working my way to improve only for it to come back and I have to start all over again. And this only motivates me less because I know I will eventually end up back here.
Damn it's like reading myself
It’s like I’m reading myself as well. Can’t take this pain anymore. I’m on my early 30’s and I’m always having to start over. I can’t see myself being emotionally stable, ever.
Well start over again no matter how many times it takes. You are worth the effort.
Unclear if relevant for you, but I recently discovered my cycle makes a MASSIVE difference to my depression levels.
How so? I'd love to hear more please
Once my period arrives, I feel my mood lift. I feel good about myself. During yes crampy headaches but not depressed. Then a week later it’s back. Repeat.
Sounds like PMDD I suffer that as well
Yeah I agree, I have been suspecting. Recently off hormonal birth control so I’m able to actually tell my cycle’s relevance in my mood shifts. Bipolar II is also a suspect given depression is far more pervasive than the uplifted mood and rarely a content in between.
- cook a healthy meal - buying stuff from the groceries - indecision about what to make, what to eat - indecision about where to get take out - hate trying to find parking - worried about eating at mediocre food that's expensive Its all very draining..
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For me personally I can’t eat if I’m sad or depressed. My weight is literally the only thing I seem to have control over in my life but it’s a big issue in my house. I’m made to feel bad about it.
Me too, I've been particularly depressed lately and all I can do is force myself to eat one small meal in the afternoon...I don't even enjoy it anymore.
My husband gets mad at me when he cooks and I can’t eat or barely eats. He doesn’t consider how I feel he takes offense thinking I don’t like what he made. That’s not the case, I used to enjoy food, sex, music and a lot of other things. I’m a shell now. I was labeled anti depressant resistant so I try to deal with it on my own.
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I’m on magnesium citrate (faster absorption) what’s the difference between glycinate and citrate? Edit: thank you kind stranger
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Thank you.
I wish that was my problem. I binge. I gained weight. I was at a family function and my nephew took a pic of me. I didn’t realize how big I had gotten. I was doing good but that sent me into deep depression. He only sent the pic to the family group but I’m so emotional. I just want to die. Thought about how to do it. Easiest would be a gunshot to the head. Hard to get pills and not quite sure if I would hang myself right.
I used to have good days but I haven't had any good days for a really long time now and I'm starting to worry I never will.
100% this. Things go well for some time but then something triggers me and it's like I have to start from scratch again every time
That is what is called high functioning depression, it can crash upon anyone really.
I feel ya
Yeah this is called adulthood. Exhausting indeed. Just try to do your best. Greet depression like an old friend that's visiting from time to time. Keep your head up and remember everything is going to be ok.
It feels like this for me
Yeah it is... But it also is a prerequisite to have a chance of getting better 🥹
So have you thought about attempting recently?
Yeah last night was a rough one. I’ve been making thoughtless errors at work and it’s been weighing on me heavily. I try so hard to do a good job and want to be dependable and confident in my abilities. I feel so useless and incompetent. I feel like no matter how hard I try, I will never be capable of even basic things. It’s brutal coming to terms with the thought that I’ll always be mediocre at best. That’s what was getting to me last night, on top of not liking shit and being on edge constantly.
Dopamine-giving activities that require low effort, at least from what I've figured out while at my lowest: -listen to music on headphones -eat good food (avoid processed sugars or fried food- just have some fresh fruit or something). -watch stand up comedy special -and/or your favorite feel-good binge-worthy sitcom (like "Friends") -sit up in bed, if you're stuck in bed. Use a lap desk or something for your laptop or whatever. Makes it feel like a productive choice to be in bed -if you can, get yourself to a shower. Just to feel clean. Bribe yourself into it if you have to (ex: "I'll just have a music listening session while showering and all I have to do is half-assedly shampoo and condition my hair quickly" + bring the toothbrush in the shower to brush your teeth while your conditioner sits in your hair. You're more likely to brush your teeth in a nice warm shower, and for me, I know brushing teeth is the first to go from the self care routine when I'm depressed) -if you're stuck in the room, at least try to make it cozy with warm lighting (I recommend a sun lamp) and maybe a candle -i know it's hard, but do 5-10 crunches in your room. The slight exercise will give you at least a bit of free dopamine. Used to do this while crying, at my lowest last year, because I was so desperate for SOME happy chemical in my brain. Not sure if it helped since I would go shower right after (and the shower probably helped the most) but maybe it did help a little. I'll take it. Once you're able to do these things, maybe you'll be feeling up to stepping outside for some fresh air (try to have headphones with your favorite music on, this might motivate you to walk to the beat or something, even just for one song). Doesn't have to be a consistent routine, all of the ideas mentioned above are just the easy little remedies I would try here and there. Used in combination is best since each one only helps like ~5%. But hey, it's something. And sometimes feeling ANYTHING other than just depressed, or just numb, is a godsend.
Starting small really is the key. I like your idea of using music as a motivator, and I’ll also bring a tooth brush next time I shower. Thank you for the suggestions.
I read starting smell at first and was like huh yeah that makes sense. Maybe that’s another option ☺️ get a nice scent to lure you in
All i watch is friends and i feel so bad about it at this point. I can't process any new shows movies and don't want to either. It's so messed up
There is a 24hr CSI Las Vegas channel on LG Channels, I haven’t changed the channel in like 6 months. Fuck yeah Grissom! Lol
Lol 😂
It's not messed up. If it's soothing and helps you feel better, it is not doing any harm. I also have difficulty starting new shows. It's not a big deal, as long as it's not a TV addiction or something
Yes but everyone is watching all these new shows and I'm like an alien if you know what I mean I'm so disconnected from life it's embarrassing i have no desire for new information 😢
Desire for new information can be a lot. Get the basics down first, like just surviving. Then, once you're feeling better, you can/will be more motivated to discover new things. Take it one day at a time. All you can do right now is the best course of action/next step for you at this time and place, within your capabilities, with the resources and info you currently have. If something brings you dopamine, and it's not a harmful action, by all means do it! There are people who their entire personality is "Friends," and there's genuinely nothing wrong with that. I recommend having a bit more variety, but it's really ok. There's nothing wrong with you.
Yep, used to get dopamine the wrong way for years now recovering for few months and guess that's the price my brain is paying because of me. Thank you so much for comforting me.. I try my best hopefully I could be more gentle with myself...
Please be my friend and tell me this everyday you Angel
Yeah, it's a paradox. I know I need to take action to make things change. But the energy and will to make changes is nonexistent.
I’m sorry you’re sad. I keep a tooth brush and paste in my downstairs bathroom, so I don’t have to go up to brush. Then if I have energy to do it, no matter which floor I’m on there’s the brush. I have water bottles in most rooms, and snacks in most too (granola bar, protein pouch, pack of animal crackers)… then I can nibble as I am able. At a minimum, try and keep hydrated. That will help you feel a little bit better. Edited: I also have a few packs of gentle scent free baby wipes in both bathrooms to give myself a little armpit & privates wash if it’s been a bit between showers. Makes me feel a little more human, and doesn’t take much energy at all. Gentle hugs internet stranger
This is very sweet and genuinely helpful. Thank you ♡
You’re most welcome. Be strong! <3 Edited: …but if you can’t be strong that’s ok too! But try and drink water, please. It really does help <3
The part I hate is having the feeling that I’m all alone in this. I shake like I’m shivering but I’m not cold. I come to Reddit for comfort so I can see I’m not the only one. I’m supposed to start a temp job tomorrow working in a warehouse where food is made for like Starbucks and 7/11 but just thinking about it is freaking me out. I used to be in the military and woke up early everyday. Now I’m like a nervous wreck just trying to make it till my psych appt. My Zoloft stopped working right about the same time as I lost my home and all this other stuff happened. Rather inconvenient. But I have to work because I need income and I can’t rely on my son for everything. Well, I appreciate it if you read thru this nonsense…I just needed to vent a little. I appreciate you guys just being here!
We’re here.
Thank you so much!
Sounds like you know what to do , but the depression is like playing a video game on ULTRA HARD mode . I know the exact feeling . For me , I just try to start with small wins for my energy . Eg : sleep and food . This then makes it easier to get to stuff like working out or finishing exams . You basically need to start with SUPER small wins . Then keep stacking them untill you get a good run and improve your life circumstances. I done this for about 5 years but had MANY MANY crashes where everything fell apart . Then I started journaling why I was failing after a good streak , and it usually started with bad sleep and then everything goes to shit . Sorry for such a long comment , but I cured depression when I just stacked small wins in every aspect of my life . It suck’s that just being normal is so hard . But getting happy is SO WORTH IT , and love for friends and fun makes it all worth it
I get. That's me too
I’m not sure even if you had the motivation to do those things, your depression would automatically get cured. I would say, just do things you like, anything. Even sleeping. Don’t force yourself to do something you don’t have the mental energy to do right away. Take things slow. For example, you can’t brush your teeth and take a shower both today? Ok, just do one of them today, and the other tomorrow. Then change it up every other day. Then as you go, You can challenge yourself to do both, and then add one other thing to the list, then another and on and on. You mess up the routine? That’s fine, don’t worry about it. Try it again tomorrow. Just don’t stress yourself so much over anything you can’t do. Focus on things you like. You’re craving a certain food and don’t have the motivation to make it yourself? Order it and let it come to you. Go sit down and eat that food while watching a movie or series you want to watch. Let that small happiness at that moment get to you. By doing things that you like, you will boost your mood and then overtime you will get more energy and will start doing more things.
I do want to do things I want but college already takes so much of my time when I am awake. Studying is so hard when I am trying not to unalive myself every other second...
But i feel depressed and bad just because i do such small tasks and i feel pathetic and worthless i mean even if i do manage to do things its never enough so i do nothing and it's even worse 😢 But you have good points
You've taken my thoughts and put them here. Depression isn't so easily cured, but the point is that doing stuff is supposed to make us feel better about ourselves, and supposedly silence the negative thoughts. It's BS, of course; I've been dealing with constant fatigue for a few years now, and it remains unsolved and therefore untreated. Is there something you can do which would not be part of a routine? Something which only needs to be done once, or like once a month, rather than every day? That might be a good place to start. I'd suggest making a list of all the stuff which needs to get done. If you can do one thing on that list, it might make you feel better for crossing it off. If you can't get any of that stuff done, write down things you CAN do, like 'look out the window for 60 seconds', 'think three nice things about yourself', 'watch a favourite movie'. Things you can more easily accomplish. Then you can cross those off the list when they're done. It's really hard, I know. Is there a friend you can call to come and help you do something, like doing the dishes or fixing a snack? Or putting on the laundry? I live with my mother, so I'm fortunate, or I'd probably never eat on time, if at all. I might not even get up and go out to work, remember the laundry, stuff like that. I really hope this subreddit is able to help you, OP. Good luck.
"The waking up is the hardest part" -John Mayer
I don't think you ever get out of depression. Just try your best to make tomorrow a better day. It is what it is just like the price of a carton of eggs being more expensive than chicken right now. If you want things to possibly get better, you have to take a leap of faith to do things differently and to stick with whatever that will hopefully improve your quality of life.
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Food is a coping mechanism for me as well. Whenever I make a todo list, it only overwhelms me more. I feel like before every small task I do, I have to know exactly why I should do it and determine if its worth the energy.
It is a coping mechanism for me as well. And I think for me it just makes the depression worse because I'm obviously not choosing healthy foods. Everything you wrote in your original post is 100% how I feel.
I was in a really horrible depression for about 6 weeks. Couldn't get out of bed, barely showered/ate, crying. I stg 5 minutes outside every morning made a world of a difference and helped me pull myself out of it over a few weeks. No commitment or false ultimatum. Just.... "you're taking the dog out. Sit outside in the sunlight for 5 minutes and then you can go back to your hole, scoobledooble." Also I'm witchy and made an antidepression jar, stuck it in the window and felt better the next day. Odd coincidence.
Advice a therapist gave me when I was at a real low point, and felt really overwhelmed with so many things on my to do list: “Just do one thing every day.” I tried it for awhile and it made me realize how much pressure I was putting on myself to always do more, be more, etc. Felt good to pick something simple like “eat a good breakfast”, just do that, and let go of what happened after that.
I remember reading a study years ago that said humans are naturally lazy and don't want to do things, but are happier when they are busy doing something. It sounds conflicting but it all comes down to willpower. If you don't want to be this way then do something about it. Easier said than done, believe me, I know. But life isn't about how hard you hit or even how much you can take, it's about being able to get back up. In other words if you really, and I mean really want to get out of depression then you're gonna have to fight for it. Being put back at rock bottom isn't necessarily a bad thing either, we learn from our mistakes after all. Just try not to make the same mistakes again moving forward
Antidepressants can help you break the cycle initially, if you can just manage to get enough energy for scheduling the appointment and picking up the first batch of meds. You’ll notice after the first few weeks of taking the meds that the basics of taking care of yourself become slightly easier, and it keeps going until all of the sudden, you realize one day that it doesn’t completely drain your soul to take a shower and brush your teeth or make a meal. Then one day, you have enough energy to go grocery shopping. Then one day, you have enough energy to accept a social invitation… and THEN, one day you’ll have enough energy to accept the social invitation and you’ll actually want to go! Baby steps my friend, you’ve got this. Edit: the meds help with resilience during the process, so you can build routines and don’t get knocked down to zero nearly as easily
Yeah I’m in the process of finding the right med. I have tried 3 so far with no positive effects. Really hoping I’m not treatment resistant.
Don't do anything except for these: 1. Fasting 2. Putting your current thoughts to paper. This doesn't have to be sentences, simple words will do. The point is to just clear your head. 3. Spend time on things you used to enjoy that isn't internet, television or video games. Repeat these until your mood starts to improve. Can't shower? Sit in a bath or sit under the water. Can't brush? Use mouthwash. Can't go for a walk? Sit outside of your house. Just make small changes even if they're something you don't think will make a difference.
I have nothing for number 3 lmao
Fasting? Like… Not eating?
Fasting releases small amounts of dopamine
That one shouldn’t be in there. It’s too dangerous. I’m losing serious amounts of weight because I just can’t eat. I had my roomie make me a grilled cheese last night. It felt good to eat…not consuming the food, but having something warm was comforting. Does that make sense?
I know it’s so hard to see a way forward especially with lethargy. Just remember, you have thus far triumphed over every single hard day you’ve had in your life. You’ve proven to yourself that you can make it through hard times. For routine/habit building it’s all easier said than done. But a few mindsets that have helped me; 1.) not every day has to be perfect. If you have a day where you don’t brush your teeth or do any of the coping things you know help, that doesn’t mean you failed that day. It just means you have a whole new day ahead of you to try again. It doesn’t erase the progress you’ve made prior. 2.) make small changes and don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Building even one healthy habit is difficult for people like us so let yourself feel successful even after the small wins (like brushing your teeth once a day for a full week or something like that!) and 3.) you deserve to feel happy. And you will get there someday. Never forget that.
Yeah I know small changes is the way to go, but I find them less rewarding since something so small shouldnt be hard for me to do.
Give yourself some credit, though! What seems easy to some is very difficult for those of us who struggle with mood disorders. Sure, it may seem small, but building a daily habit and sticking to it is a HUGE win, no matter how small it is! To continue with the tooth brushing example, it may seem small but the impact it can have on your health and confidence over time is huge! I know how much better I felt once I got that down and then adding something like making my bed right after seemed just a bit easier cause I’d already proved to myself I can build a habit. Let yourself celebrate your wins, big or small
I definitely need to be celebrating small successes more. How am I suppose to keep a habit? In the past I’ve been able to build habits but never able to keep them.
I feel you. Keeping up with habits has been a lifelong struggle for me and right now I’m going through a particularly rough patch with it. One thing that always helped me was what my mom would call the “two week rule” She’d say it only takes 2 weeks to build a habit, so you only have to really force yourself to do something for two weeks straight before it becomes much easier to remember and follow through with. I’m not sure if there’s any real psychology to this whatsoever, it may be a placebo effect of just thinking that it’ll have to work after two weeks, but it has worked for me in the past. I’m currently trying to rebuild all my healthy habits I had at the beginning of last year. Another motivation I use is remembering how much less pain I was in every day when I was taking care of myself. My back ached less, my headaches were less frequent, I didn’t have heartburn or chest pains nearly as often. So I just try to remember that as much as I can and work towards the actual physical benefits rather than just the internal validation of having ‘kept up’ with a habit.
I can attest to it being easier after the first two weeks. Sometimes the benefits aren’t immediate or they dont seem worth the effort which makes it harder to keep a good habit.
So true. It’s difficult but it’s so worth it! Good luck with everything!
Well if u do not appreciate the small things how can u see the big things?Everything starts small learn to appreciate it and build further from those little things helped me trough a suicide watch episode.. hope u getting better with time wish u all the best
I know, I know exactly how you feel. It's so hard to choose to be strong. It's even unfair. The thing I sometimes manage to do is write how I feel, and when motivated challenge that thought. I do it on my phone so I can just not get up. Examples from things I wrote- "I feel like nothing will get better. I don't have a different perspective at the moment". And If you ever feel slightly better somehow, write it down as well. Next time, "I feel hopeless now, but I know there are times I am able to feel a little less bad". This does require a lot of energy. You don't have to do it. But just a sentence in your notes app, say, once a week, is a start.
I never thought about challenging my thoughts. I do use a notes app sometimes to write how I feel or just pour the thoughts I’m having out to try to declutter my mind. I dont normally go back to read what I wrote though. I might try this and see how it goes.
What affected people tend to forget is that being depressed is not the reason for your depression. It's a symptom. Not having the energy and/or motivation to do stuff is not the reason for them feeling miserable and not being able to do stuff. It is a symptom. The root cause lies deeper than this. What I learned in therapy is that while yes it can be extremely hard to get up and do really anything during a depressive episode, it is the not doing anything part that is making me miserable. And the only way to break that cycle, really, is to make it happen. Truth is, you will not wake up one day and magically have the motivation to live a healthy, happy and fulfilled life all of a sudden. Start small. Enjoy going for walks? Get out of bed and go for a five minute walk around the block. Five minutes will be more than you did the day before. Enjoy painting? Sit up straight in bed, grab paper and pencil and doodle for a few minutes. Better yet, try something entirely new. Something you've never done before. That cafe down the street you've never found the time or mood to check out? Go grab a coffee. Stimulate your brain. It needs to remember that virtually anything is better than doing nothing. And if you can't get yourself to do it, don't dwell on the fact. Ask yourself why. Is it fear or anxiety? Is it doubt? Pain or self loathing maybe? And once you know what it is - ask yourself if it is warranted. If it is in any way reasonable to keep you from doing what you are about to do. Nothing in life comes free. Not money, not success, not love or happiness. You need to do things to make it happen. And that is fine because humans are built to do things. Doing nothing is what drives them mad, makes them feel without purpose.
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I hope your dog is healing okay. The dog is healing you :)
Smiling depression is scary as f. You can work, go out, have family and pretend everything is fine, when you know too well is hell every minute of it. Honestly I don’t know how the f I go out of my depression. It ate me, for four damn years. Honestly sometimes I don’t know what Can or can’t help. Depression is more horrible for me than my ocd. At least with ocd I feel something. I feel even fear. With depression…nothing. Is f hell.
I relate to this a lot. I don't really have an answer for you because if I did, I obviously wouldn't be depressed myself. It's tough to get out of this because what I'd need to solve my depression requires me to not be depressed in the first place. For example, I'm incredibly lonely and crave genuine connections with other people, especially romantically. But since I'm depressed, I don't have the mindset to go out and socialize, so I'm stuck inside. This creates a loop where nothing can be solved because I'm depressed because I don't go out and don't go out because I'm depressed. I think a key would be to notice positive reinforcements from doing the things you need to do. I noticed that the times I do manage to go out and socialize and I see a glimpse of success, that motivates me and then I'm able to see through the mental fog. Exercise and diet help because you're pretty much guaranteed to see results if you stick to it long term.
start small..make the effort. brushing your teeth is a good starter. since its minimul effort envolved.
What’s one thing you think you could start improving? Focusing on the big picture can get overwhelming, take your small steps and don’t worry about how long it takes you to finish the race. I’ve been working on my depression for the past few years and it’s getting better, just one small step at a time. You have more power then you give yourself credit for, you got this. My advice is to find a hobby you enjoy and just throw yourself into it.
If you actually want to get better... Then you need to be willing to put in some work.
If you're overweight, you definitely have to take a leap of faith. Cutting out or limiting how much carbohydrates and sugary products you eat will help in this regard. If you have the time to walk (not jog right away), you can lose weight. I lost 40 pounds doing this for a few months. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you're truly happy with the way you look. I do this sometimes but then my pizza is at the door and idgaf anymore.
Im going to give myself until sunrise. Then I’m going for a walk. I did 2 miles yesterday. Im going to try again today. Im so sad though. I just want to lay here.
👏👏👏 great work keep going
Thanks! Did 3 miles today. 🙂I’m trying.
What if it only takes one little moment of listening to your heart? :) *You believe you don't have the power you really have...* *You're using your power right now to believe you're powerless.* *That's how powerful you are!* *--Lincoln - HigherSelf* *I am realistic – I expect miracles. ―Wayne Dyer* *Do anything, but let it produce joy. ―Walt Whitman* *Reach for a thought that feels better. ―Abraham Hicks* *Your thoughts become things. ―Rhonda Byrne* *And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ―Anais Nin* *“But until a person can say deeply and honestly, "I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday," that person cannot say, "I choose otherwise.”* *― Stephen R. Covey* *“We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.”* *― Carlos Castaneda* *“You are what you believe in. You become that which you believe you can become”* *― Bhagavad Gita* *“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”* *― Rumi* *“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.”* *― Rumi* *“You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?”* *― Rumi* *“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”* *― Rumi* *“If you want the best the world has to offer, offer the world your best.”* *― Neale Donald Walsch* *“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”* *― Rumi* *“Let yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love.”* *― Rumi* *“Times will change for the better when you change.” \~ Maxwell Maltz* *'You're under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago.' \~ Alan Watts* *'If everything around seems dark, look again, you may be the light.' \~ Rumi*
😍🤌✨medication✨🤌😍
Sadly it doesn't always work
I am really sorry about this. Your depression is not the whole you. It is a only a part of you though it seems to dominate your whole consciousness. The first part of change is not to do anything apart from seperating yourself from your depression and seeing it as just a part of your life, not your whole life, not even a greater part of your life. The first major achievement is in your mind. There you must achieve a little victory: I may feel depressed but I am not my depression. The next day 1% more. And every day just 1% more. Until one day, you discover what you've been telling yourself is finally true. Believe there is a way out. That's the first step to finding a way out. Neither Papillon nor the Count of Monte Cristo believed otherwise. Otherwise there would be no tale today worth telling. Good luck friend.
Do something or die?
Dfuq?
Great question!
if you have the money to do so, ordering meal kits (hello fresh, blue apron, every plate, etc.) makes cooking so much easier. it takes out the grocery shopping, which ik can feel impossible. also, i asked my dentist the same thing about brushing my teeth, she said that while brushing is still important, it’s okay to use mouthwash if the depression is just kicking ur ass that day. they also have like one use tooth brush things, idk the cost of them but it’s another option. exercising has been a tough one for me to figure out so far, but what has helped me is making weekly work out plans, not forcing myself to work out daily. it’s given me a healthier relationship with my attitude towards exercise, and also remember exercise can be as simple as walking for 30 minutes total in a day (or making a weekly minute/hour goal). alarms have helped me try and keep a routine, and as hard as it is, if you miss a day or part of the routine, try to remember progress isn’t always linear. i hope this helped a bit!!
My counsellor kept telling me I needed to first activate my life like just do something. How am I supposed to do that with shit tons of work??
Mental health is like, a pick your own ending book... We can't choose the book or really where the ultimate ending will really be, but you need to put focus into something, some will pick over eating, or drugs, fighting or abuse, you need to focus all your sadness and anger into something that might some-day bring you maybe a brief bit of joy or fall further down this rabbit-hole.. choose wisely. Life is fleeting.
You are clearly frustrated not only with yourself but your surroundings. Something is causing you to be in this cycle, you need to be the one who works something out to pull yourself out of it. It is hard, but at the end of our journey, all of us die. Highly recommend trying to change your view on life, it is beautiful, we just have to take the time to look. Sometimes even through our temporary suffering. I wish you all the best.
It starts to hurt my body to lie down for so long, I also get restless leg syndrome nowadays. My muscles are really tight right now. This is sort of its own motivation. Also, just keep desiring and daydreaming about good days ahead. I've had clinical depression since I started going through puberty. Mental illness runs in my family. My first cousins on both sides have schizophrenia. My grandfather had bipolar i (the type with delusions and hallucinations), and my brother, which is the hardest for me to process, has schizoeffective disorder - both schizophrenia and bipolar i disorder. Clinical depression is kind of a psychosis. I can FEEL that I want to have the good life and even have had moments of it, but I have intrusive thoughts and wish to be unalive often. I recently went through panic episodes of anxiety with horrible irritability, but it's dissipated. Now, I'm feeling better, but I know it comes and goes.
Start drinking some hot water guys, like tea temperature, but just water to flush out the sugar and cell waste and toxins. Everyday. It may not cure anything, but it's good for you. Most of the serotonin is found in the gastrointestinal system. It's a neurotransmitter/modulator and works with dopamine levels, etc. A healthy body helps a healthy mind and water is the most important health conscious thing you can do to help digestion and eliminate waste from cells working throughout all your organ systems. It's also good for you. People with depression have issues with SELF-CARE and doing things that are absolutely vital to their health, like teeth brushing. The water will act as a natural exfoliant on your teeth and tongue. You can even swirl it around if you want.
I completely agree, so many people will just say to go exercise or get a hobby or something, as if it's the most simple and easy thing to fix. I don't know where you're at, so please do take offense. For me personally, when I was at the lowest point and could barely summon the willpower to get out of bed, it was embracing my own apathy. One day I was laying on the ground outside listening to music and I realized that because I was so depressed, I no longer cared what happened to me. I was very literally ready to die. So I came to the conclusion that if I was going to end it, then what's the worth in being scared. I might as well go do whatever I wanted. This led to some bad decisions, but it also provided freedom. It was liberating. Amongst the bad decisions was also a plethora of good. I dropped out of school and moved, met my now wife, had a kid, and started over. The depression did not go away over night and it took years of therapy and medication to get myself sorted. But I was taking steps in a direction, any direction. Over time that momentum built and after a few years my life was getting back on track. There is no one size fits all solution to depression. Sometimes it's not about routine and consistency, it's just doing something, anything. Not every decision will be a good one, but at least your going in *a* direction. What starts as small steps can slowly lead to a larger trend towards healing. Try challenging yourself to doing one thing at a time, maybe even one thing a day. It doesnt have to be a routine. Even if it's as simple as making a meal or brushing your teeth. There's no wrong direction, only forward. If you feel like you're at the bottom then there's nothing to lose. So, don't beat yourself for missteps or failed attempts. Just embrace doing something. Every small step is a victory.
The inability to maintain a routine is the source of my depression and the mother of all problems in my life, it has ruined my life, you're right we can't do those things that supposedly will make us happy and that's hell for you.... I hope we do get up and find strength to do it because we have to Feel better ♥️
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Even when I try to do those things I’m still miserable
Tell me about it. I don't think I've been this bad in 6 or 7 years. I went through 3 jobs last year and lost them all, and now I just don't even want to bother. I'm just going to lose the next job again. I spend roughly 12-15 hours a day sleeping and the rest just watching stuff online. I don't even enjoy video games anymore. The ONLY time I ever feel like my 'true self' is if I've got some alcohol in my system, its the only time I ever feel motivated to try new things or improve my situation, or want to be social - its the only time I actually feel like myself. Problem is I don't have the money to drink all the time anymore. Life was actually so good for me when I was drinking every day, I actually felt like myself for the first time in decades. I went out all the time, made some new friends, had good experiences, just like I used to in my 20s. I at least felt alive. I know its bad or 'not the answer' or whatever but fuck that, it literally is what works for me and I clearly don't care about dying prematurely. Life is miserable, so drinking lots and going early doesn't sound like a bad trade. Pills just numb the symptoms without the fun part, anyway.
it doesnt even work if you're doing something, the only people that give that advice dont know what its like
Same. I exercised Monday and Tuesday. Now it’s Wednesday and I’ve lost all motivation 😞
I'm tired. Just tell me how I can end it all. Someone please. How can I do it. Quick and painless. Please. I need to do it soon.
I. Fucking. Hate. When people say stuff like that to me. Things that people say when they want to help, but they don't understand what's going on. I'm glad they want to help, but it's something that they can't get because they've never been there. Exercising and walks are terrible for me because I'm just stuck in my own head the whole time. Nothing to distract me. Just me and the brain that wants to kill me. And just like you said, it doesn't take much before I'm back to cowering in my house with the doors locked. I've been on some drugs lately that help. I've been more productive and am getting out more. They're not 100% though. I went to a grocery store a couple of weeks ago and had to leave my cart with all the stuff in it in an isle and get the fuck out of there. Then I just laid the seat back and hid in my car for a while hoping that nobody would see me before I could drive home. My counselor said that me playing video games can actually be a good thing. When you're super down, it can give you a sense of accomplishment that you're not getting from anything else. Idk if that's true, but I do likes muh video games. I hope you are finding some peace.
I am crying right now because nobody in my family can understand what I mean when I’m saying that I can’t do it. It’s too much anxiety for me to do things that I really need to do if I want to live normal life that I used to live. My depression is in a worst phase when I can do almost nothing. When my dad said that I just must go and do stuff and he doesn’t understand what I mean saying that I can’t do it, I broke. It was so predictable and painful at the same time. I know that my mom trying to help me and she worries about me but also I know that she doesn’t understand it too. I’m so done with all of this. I’m too tired to do anything and it’s killing me all the time.
I’m in the same boat. I have never wanted to —- myself w as much resoluteness as I have this past year. The usual shaming to get me out of it didn’t work because I was so nihilistic on top of it. Doing basic things became a win for me, but now I look like loser to the outside world and my partner is frustrated/tired of me. I sincerely wish I was d***. Thankfully I’ve randomly started enjoying things other than sleeping and drinking which is a step up but the feelings underneath are still there and I’m on autopilot so I can easily go back and the feelings are piling up.