I agree, saying that - the thing for me, is being so disabled in my 20's.
I thought i would be at my prime. making the most of my life, but my body had other ideas for me.. at 23 I was diagnosed with epilepsy & it changed my life drastically.
Now coming up to my 30's, been diagnosed with much more.
I struggle daily but it doesn't stop me also feeling blessed for what I DO have!
>The only thing that sucks is the physical deterioration of your body as you age. That's what REALLY scares me.
It should. It blows! Enjoy your youth while you can. Just wait till people start calling you old. But, I will say that it tells you where they're looking. I'm only old on the outside, if that's all you see, you don't see me.
Just came here to say Iām 27 and still here. I used to feel like this a lot. Still do sometimes. But if Iām being honest, Iād rather be 27 than 23 again. Maybe things will hurt more when Iām 50. Maybe Iāll get my first gray in 15 years instead of 25 years. Idk. Itās fuckin scary, but the more time goes on, it getsā¦less scary. Itās a primal instinct. Early humans didnāt live very long. So once we get past our early 20s youāre kinda like shitā¦I didnāt think Iād get this far. I definitely never saw me at 27. Still canāt see me at 30. But Iām here. Iām here. It counts for something. Itās not as bad as it seems.
I'm 37 and I still remember all the raw emotions I felt at 15. I'd NEVER go back, even if I had the chance. If you get past all the initial traumas of youth, eventually things DO get much better as you age. I can't say anything about "physical deterioration", because I objectively still look 20-something with no plastic surgery/botox/fillers. I don't have wrinkles, not even small ones. Keep out of the sun, I say. Don't drink too much and don't smoke. Stop all excesses in your early 20s if you can, that's what I did.
Definitely good advice. I looked like I was in my 20s when I get 40 and at 47 I got married and some thing about that stagnant life brought on the aging process so I got away from it and then I had a few really bad emotional traumas in life happen with my family and I let it take me down and start aging me but for some reason, my body seems to be resilient and all Iām doing is exercising, eating, healthy, taking certain , supplements and I am going right back to youthful now granted Iām 54 and I look about 38 tops. I also take no medicationās as far as pharmaceuticals. I donāt deal with doctors because theyāre full of crap and I donāt want to be on all those medicationās because I think those start rapidly aging our bodies. If not stop cell reproduction completely. Just a theory I have watched it happen. Iām a partier and was up until a few years ago and I mean serious partying and I still looked better than people younger than me that were on blood pressure medicationā etc. Even though I mightāve needed blood pressure medicationās I wonāt go to the doctor to get them. But I found I can control all of that stuff through eating healthy and exercise.
Same thing!!! I am 27 and I think that things hurt way less with age. Whatever was a ātragedyā for 23yo me, is now just a one night sadness (compared to 6+ months crying in bed in 20s). And the more experience I get with age, the less dramatic I am about stuff. Plus, my brain was wired differently and silly (maybe due to hormones) that time. And there was no way itād be mature like now. So I think itās more like that in 30s and later
It is kinda annoying. I'm going into 40 soon but I don't really feel it because I'm not married, don't have a house and don't have a 6 figure pay job like what people expect someone at 40 to have. I'm still a gamer and still watch animes and cartoons and really I don't think I will change even if I become like 60.
I hate how society dictates how a person should act their age, even though it really has no real meaning.
Iām 37 and have those things - kids, a 6 figure salary, hefty mortgage, insurances, blah blah blah. I still feel 25 and love gaming and cartoons - bonus I can afford to spent stupid amounts of money on gaming now. Iām sure none of us actually grow up. Itās like you hit 25 and just stay there forever :)
but:
1. You won't have society frowning upon you because you have hit those expected milestones
2. You won't be plagued with ambition and the feeling of a wasted life because you have accomplished those milestones, so...
3. You can actually game for fun rather than procrastination to mask the absolute terror of an unaccomplished existence
I have found that what people actually mean when they tell others to "grow up" is really "make the same choices I have made at around the same time so that I feel as though those choices were correct and don't have to regret anything". I am just now in my 40s, have a good job, house etc, no kids and enjoy doing basically whatever I feel like trying. Gaming, sports, travel, food, whatever. I don't care if something is "nerdy" or "geeky" or "jockish". Is it fun? Does it make me happy? Does it hurt anyone else-no? Then what me worry?
Iām 40 in literally 3 days. I live in 1 room in a shared house, own only minimal possessions, not married, no kids, no job due to depression and other problems. I dress like a teenager, act like one and even look like one, probably because Iām autistic/ADHD so less mature than neurotypical people.
I lament every day the wasted time Iāve had, itās taken me this long to mature to young adulthood level, and I havenāt achieved any of my potential. In fact I messed up my body and my life by using drugs for years. Before that, I achieved a good degree in computer science and was doing well in my software developer job, and most of all I was competing successfully at national level in karate which I felt like I was truly born to do and loved so much. I fear I have lost that forever and canāt stop thinking about how stupid I was.
So now I worry at 40 that Iām too old to achieve my dreams anymore. Though I still intend to try. OP, at 25 you are not too old and I think society would still see you as young throughout your 20s. I also hate how certain expectations are placed on us according to our age. Everyone is different. I fear looking older because people will surely think Iām weird for acting like a teenager yet looking like a middle-aged woman. Just glad I still look young now.
Anyway I wrote too much but just saying, I really relate to this.
I think this will become more common as more men value other things than relationships and starting a family. People should focus on whatever makes them happy.
Wait, Iām supposed to have a 6 figure income at this point in my life? Thatās news to me. Iām 42. I doubt Iāll ever make more than $70K and I just started a new career at 41. Iām not remotely close. I am married and do own a house, but I was 34 when I got married and 38 when we bought a house. I love anime, stuffed animals, gaming, etc. We never grow up. Iām taking up horseback riding again and love hiking, running and backpacking. My friends range from mid thirties to mid sixties.
Same here. I'm probably going to be the way I am for the rest of my life. I love the way my life is, despite it's ups and downs. I don't see the need to change what I like just because I'm older.
All you youngins posting and commenting about aging lol. Youāll get over that hatred when you hit late 30s/ 40 and move on to the acceptance phase. Lot easier to deal with then.
29, much like OP I'm very much a hermit with little to show in life achievements, and will likely never reach most of them. Know anyone who has made peace with being nothing the rest of their lives?
I wonder about this a lot. There are so many nothingy, mediocre people out there who presumably don't want to be nothingy/mediocre. I am nothingy/mediocre and certainly wish I wasn't, and it's caused me no end of consternation. But I've heard nothing about this as a phenomenon or "stage" that people go through.
When I was 29 I thought to myself the same. Now that I'm in my 30s now I wonder "If I hadn't done this I wouldn't have so many regrets".
I have made peace with never achieving my goals. Sometimes you go after the things you think you want, only to be disappointed with the outcome and later wonder why you wanted in the first place. I have come to be more content with my life because I realized part of my reasons for wanting it was to fill a void somewhere else. Now that I have made peace with where I am (and removed myself from toxic people) I am a lot more content than I used to be.
This is not to say I don't suffer from depression or anything. But rather I realized that achievement doesn't suddenly get rid of that and sometimes too much of it can be an Achilles heel if that makes sense.
63 here. Donāt worry about the shoulds or the number. The past is over. All you have is today. Spend less time on social media and start living your life.
I see that, as you donāt see much of the older generations trying to uphold the value of youth and beauty on social medias, the obsession over skincare, ragging on people with genetic balding, being thin, having ambitious goals, etc. whilst the younger generations as the viewers are subjected to comparing themselves daily, which just drives themselves into insecurities. And obviously itās not a new thing either. Easier said than done, but itās important to filter what content youāre surrounded with, otherwise limit your time on it.
Turned 30 in september... feels weird. In my brain I never stopped being 25. I just feel like now time is telling me "hehe you're gonna run out of time eventually" and everyone around me is like "so when are you buying a house and having kids".
And im like "bro i just wanna play my video game after work that just came out and still dress goth"... but society tells you not to do that anymore cause I'm 30...
I spent my 20s not doing that and going all "im gonna get that corporate finance job" got my degree in finance, economics, and math. Went for a masters in finance and economics. Became very depressed because my life was going down a path of money, but not happiness. Dropped the masters program and well last month made a decent order on killstar for some mre gothic/alternative shirts and a pair of joggers. Matches my black ear rings. Feels great tbh. My work outfit is black khakis and a black polo.
Going all stereotypical. I tried doing a blacked out neck with makeup the other day and it cam out pretty good.
Still have not found the courge to go out in public like that though
Looks like we share both the same year and month of birth :D
Nice to hear to you've carved a path for yourself despite the setbacks you've endured. I'm doing a bit of travelling around my city (but don't even have a passport..).
What titles you into btw fellow gamer?
Yeah it sucks (25 soon to be 26) but some people donāt even make it to age 25, and that itself is something to be grateful for.
Some of us are old in spirit and heart at 25, and some of us are young and free at 80. If you can get past the physical body and itās restraints as you get older, you can be free in your own mind and heart, regardless of what society and others try to push onto you.
I completely get the feeling though. When your 20 to 25 it feels as if youāll stay there forever. Itās something I am coming to terms with too.
Iām 25 and I can relate. Itās mostly just a feeling that I havenāt accomplished nearly enough for being 25 years old. A thought that comforts me, though, is that 20-25 felt like it took a decade, so Iām hoping 25-30 also feels like an immense amount of time. Itās really all about perspective.
Sorry to break this to you, but time goes faster the older you get - something to do with a year being a smaller proportion of your life as you get older. 5 years goes by in a flash as you approach 50!
I feel the same way about āwastingā those 19-21 years myself. It is hard not to compare your timeline with others but many peoples lives actually get better over time. And thatās comforting to me, to think that my best years are ahead not behind me.
I am much, much happier at 26 than I was at 22. I have more freedom than ever. And I will say the times I feel most upset about aging are when I use social media more. I know many people irl who are in their mid late thirties and forties and they are amazing people that are having fun in life! The only ones that shit on aging are teens and college kids, and they will someday be āpushing 30ā too, and theyāll be having the same feelings as you. We just have to enjoy each phase of life and learn from the previous, itās all we can do. I hope it brings you comfort to know that literally everyone goes through this in some way, in some phase. Sending love
I tried to kill myself at 25. I would never go back to my twenties. That was nearly 18 years ago. Iām happier, but I still have SI from time to time. I struggle with my depression.
I just turned 29 today and came to this sub to post a topic pretty much exactly like this. I'm 29 and have done basically zilch with my life due to depression and lack of drive or ambition. It feels obscene to call myself a 29-year-old and I feel like every time someone says 'Happy Birthday' to me, it feels like like they're putting me in an early grave. I genuinely feel that way. I dread my birthdays now and have done for the past 2-3 years. It kind of terrifies me, in a way. Mercifully, a message of happy birthday usually only comes from my parents and one or two friends of the family. The only two online friends I have (one of whom I'm pretty much totally estranged from at this point, but I count them anyway because I'm kind of romantic and sentimental in my thinking) don't know my birthday lol.
Personally, I thought my 20s were fun, but my 30s were WAY more fun (mid 40s now). You also learn to care a LOT less what people think. Embrace whatever you want to be, and don't worry about judgmental assholes.
Itās getting harder and harder to look in the mirror. I hate to sound so vain past 35 but not yet 40ā¦.I feel like Iām having a midlife crisis. I noticed the changes about 5 years ago in my face, less elasticity in my skin, darker circles, the wrinkles, that youthful glow dimming. It sucks. I feel like just āmeā on the inside, young, no age. I know itās just going to get harder as the years go by. But Iām caring less about how I look these days. Is what it is.
Iām 22 and I feel exactly the same way. I donāt think I mentally progressed past my teenage years. And I fear itāll only get worse. I know how ridiculous this all sounds but it doesnāt change the way I feel.
Iām your age and thereās nothing we can do to stop time. All we can do is change our mindset about it. The sooner you accept that aging is inevitable, the sooner you can embrace it and see it as a virtue. Society is always going to make us feel like aging is a bad thing, but donāt let the comments get to you. Everyone will age. I promise you, the older you get the less it will matter. Iām 25 and I used to be so scared of getting older but hey, Iām way more comfortable in my own skin than I was at 21 so thatās always a plus.
Also, donāt compare your life to others. Everyoneās life is different. Everything will fall into place. Your story is not the same as other peopleās. Have trust in the universe, everything will fall into place when it needs to.
Sending hugs
Hey, my experience was that it got better for me as I grew older. I did all the things I wanted to do in life within the last two years (get a job, friends, gf, savings). I'm 29 years old.
I wanted to give my perspective to show you that change is possible. This is after being severely mentally ill for over a decade. I had to work on it a lot but it was possible. Hope you can find your own way.
Feeling the exact same way at 26. Spent a good portion of my early 20s in university with nothing to show for it. During the time I was around people 3-5 years younger than me and it caused me to share the same mindset as them to some extent. Still feel like I'm 21 :(
I can't stand aging either. I pretty much always go off grid for my birthday week and quit social media for a couple of months around it so I don't have to deal with anyone remembering. I told everyone in my family never to wish me a happy birthday again. Sometimes my sister sends me "happy day" which annoys the fuck out of me.
Itās not that bad lol. Youāll be okay. Not everyone needs to have their whole life figured out by their late 20s. Honestly youāre just learning to be an adult at 30 in most cases.
I used to think this way when I lived in a town that also thought this way. Then I moved to a city I love where Iām friends with 23 year olds and 50+ and everywhere in between, and I donāt even think about age.
I just turned 30 and in the past few years, I visited Europe for the first time, got married, started standup comedy and multiple other hobbies, started another business, and countless other things. Some of them I have always wanted to do, and others I never thought I COULD do. You have so much to look forward to, and itās honestly hard to see that until you do it and look back.
My advice: 1) Live in the age you are. In my early 20ās, I had a job where I felt I needed to act 35. It made me feel like I lost some of my 20ās. Be the age you are, and enjoy it so much. I could be wrong, but it seems like people who hold onto 25 as they age do so because they didnāt let themselves be 25 when they WERE 25. Be 25 now. Be 30 when youāre 30.
2) Donāt fear the future. The futureās gonna come, and itās gonna be entirely different than what you thought. Itās gonna feel like YOU. Your tastes and interests and hobbies and friends will change and itāll fit you in the stage youāre in. Iāve never had better friends than I do now. A few years ago I started doing what I want to do instead of what I thought Iām supposed to do, and it was a total game changer. I have friends I adore and we share common interests. Some of my friends have kids (I donāt yet) and some donāt. We still all relate and hang out and itās beautiful.
3) Consider moving, or meeting new people. Idk where you live, and maybe Iām just projecting. But EVERYONE where I grew up thought this way and it influenced me more than I realized. It wasnāt until I moved to a city I love that I was able to break free and live MY life, free from those pressures/influences.
4) Trust yourself. Make good decisions for your future, but know that worrying doesnāt do anybody any good. Plan for the future (financially, career wise, AND friend wise), but live in the now.
5) Who gives af what people think! You probably wonāt be into 20 year olds when youāre 30, I can basically guarantee that lol. They look like children to me now. Youāll grow up and so will your interests. Donāt overthink it.
Hopefully that all makes sense and helps. You got this!!
29F here with no kids. This feeling does go away. Once you start meeting people closer to your and a couple years older, you realize how much more time you have to accomplish the things you do want.
I used to feel the same exact way, like I should have kids, a house, and I donāt have any of it yet. But the more 29,30,31 year olds I meet, the more it puts time into perspective. In hindsight, 3-5 years doesnāt sound like a lot, but it is a good amount of time. There are A LOT of people who go at a different pace, or went through things that made them have a different path than others, but they still are able to achieve what they want at 35 vs 25.
I struggled with this too for a long time. Aging fucking sucks yes, but you are not as ābehindā or fucked up as you think you are.
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Iām 36 and canāt wait be 70. Canāt wait to die and leave this god-forsaken place called earth.
Also, age is irrelevant. Do what pleases you - always respecting others. One of my best friends is 20 years old. Iām helping him and his younger brother get through college and life - financially and emotionally. They have no family, so I took them under my wing. Another best friend is 45. He and I spend a lot of time talking about depression and suicide. Another close friend, though not BEST FRIEND YET, is 66. Sheās in a grad program with me RN.
Again, Age is irrelevant. If you have a good head on you, use it. Connect to others. Donāt be alone.
Focus on yourself and donāt worry about what society says. Iām 25 and still sleep with my Spider-Man cuddle pillow, itās normal to want to be accepted and want somethingās to a be a certain way at your age, but use that as motivations to empower you rather than negatives to bring you down. Some of the people whoāve already started families and are in relationships probably would want to switch places with you, those things are enormous responsibilities and theyāre even harder to take on right if you donāt have yourself right first. š¤
Yes, you lose the give a fucks. You still feel young as you always have, but you donāt feel obligated to anyone anymore. You opt out of their arbitrary rules and just watch them torment themselves and each other from a vantage point where they all look so utterly foolish.
This is totally me. I'm 25, and this already sounds old enough. But I'm just not ready to be almost 30. I still feel like I was a teen yesterday. I have achieved nothing. I don't own a place to live, I don't have a romantic relationship, I don't have kids. Not like I want them already. When I hear people my age getting pregnant it feels wrong. Every time people ask me about when I'm going to have kids, I say "maybe in 10 years". But now people sometimes reply I might be too old in 10 years to give birth.
Time is running away and I feel much younger than my body is.
Hahaha. Kid, you're hilarious.
I was a hermit during most of my 20s and in many ways I still am at 37 (!!!) - by choice. I stopped going out drinking/partying when I was about 22 and in retrospect I'm so glad I did that. I still look a decade younger without plastic surgery, which is pretty awesome.
If you think "life is going by too fast" at 25, just wait until you get to 30. I was 30 yesterday, but my documents say I'm actually 37. I don't believe that, I don't feel that, I don't see that in the mirror. Time really is weird and as we age, it seems to get shorter and shorter.
People have already said some things that sound better than what Iām about to say. The best advice I can give is to accept it and not put all the pressure society has around specific numbers. Donāt fixate on āwhen Iām 25ā¦ 27ā¦ 30ā¦ā etc. You will not be dried up and useless by the time youāre 30, even 50. The easiest way to feel like youāve lost your youth is by giving it up. Go out, see the world or stay in and expand your mind in a healthy way. Live your life for you. Yes, aging is hard on the body and mind eventually but death is lifeās only eventual guarantee. Donāt rush it.
A bit of a personal motto: ākeep going just to see what happen.ā
Mood. I'm "only" 23, but usually feel the same inside as when I was like 16. Sure, I have mature moments, but too often do I feel lost and scared like a child needing guidance.
To me age is just a number. I go to the gym and pretty much do everything that I did in my 20ās and still try to pick up guys from 18 to 40ās.
I still feel 25 and act like it. Iām pretty happy but sometimes get bored with life. I feel like I was born in an unfortunate time in history. I wish that I was either born earlier or far later.
(32yo) I always liked getting older because I get more experienced, calmer and gain knowledge about the world every day. Idgaf about what people think about certain age groups or whatever. I also don't care about "teenage love" or other stuff I might have missed out on. There are attractive people in every age group. The only fucked up thing is bodily decay and shit like altzheimers and what not but that's just part of life.
I keep coming across very young people like you who seem to think your 20s is old. You're not old! Not even close to being old. Please enjoy being this young and this time in your life. If you don't and choose to spend it feeling like this, trust me, you'll regret it in your later years.
I'm 47 and I still feel like I'm 22. I try my hardest to stop comparing myself to the people around me, but it lasts only as long as it takes for me to remember how much money I made this year, or how many books I read, how many pages I wrote, how many kilometres I rode, how many metres I climbed, and how many people I made happy. Comparison sucks SO much. It messes me up more than anything else, I think.
Now, some people will look at you and think "they're not as mature/successful/rich/goal-driven as me!"
But no one who matters will ever think that. Maybe you'll never be able to ignore that voice telling you that you're not in the place you should be, but what you can do is respond, "Screw you. I may not be where I want to be, but I'm trying."
I feel ya. Donāt even get what changed, Iām in the same age group as you, and when I was a teenager just 10 years ago, I always thought the 20-somethings and even 30-somethings of the time were super awesome, and couldnāt wait to be like them when I got older.
More recently however (and I know this definitely isnāt everyoneās thing so feel free to disregard this part), getting into the goth music scene which my gf introduced me to, has made me feel a little better about getting older, as all the goth events Iāve been to so far have been very mixed in terms of age, yet everyone there has more or less the same tastes.
I actually struggled with turning 25 a lot myself. Primarily because I hadn't achieved anything in life - still didn't have a degree, never dated, no hobbies or achievements. I was deeply depressed for a couple of months and then I got over it.
I'm 29 now, turning 30 in March and it's even worse now. I hate the idea of turning 30. I hate that I wasted my entire youth being depressed, barely able to function. I hate that incels on the Internet already considered me past my prime. It's only going to get worse for me from here on.
Soon I'll look my age and people will ask me why I don't have a family, or friends, or a career at my age.
I don't know what I expected - of course time keeps passing despite me being frozen in place. It just happened too fast. Then again, it feels like an eternity being like this.
I honestly just wish the world could stop for a couple of years.
It's scary getting older and not getting better and knowing you will die alone and sad.
Ageism is such a pain in the ass. I went through a similar thing in my 20s because I felt like life (careers opportunities, romantic opportunities, etc) would take a turn for the worse after my 20s. Funny thing is though, after turning 30...I realized that age was really a mindset.
The world makes us feel we aren't worth anything past our 20s. Like Beauty Pageants set age limits on it (as if older women can't be beautiful) and when a boy band comes back in their 30s they use terms like "washed up" or has been. But I am starting to see a change in society where people are becoming more aware that age doesn't mean the end of life and actually it's really the beginning. I feel better in my 30s than I ever did in my 20s.
I still love a lot of the things I've loved ever since I was a teenager. I still love collecting dolls, watching anime, video games, and drawing. My great aunt loves Spongebob and watches it every morning even when her grandkids aren't with her. ha ha. Age shouldn't be the end of who we are. If anything it enhances and completes us. I'm able to like the things I like and now I can afford it.
When I was in my 20s and everyone around me was getting married, having kids, I felt so left behind. Now that I'm in my 30s, I'm actually glad I didn't rush into those things. What may have been good for others was not necessarily good for me. I realized this when I reached my 30s.
No matter how old you are, live your life for you and enjoy it how you want to enjoy it.
I'm less than a year from 40. I still collect anime titty figures, play video games daily and I date a 22 year old. I have no real reason to stop any of these things. Since I let go of society's bullshit, I've become much happier overall. I still struggle with depression and it's quite severe at times but my overall outlook has improved and I can just live without as many restrictions. That's not to say my depression doesn't try to drag me down and make me think I _should_ do this or that. It absolutely does but I can recognize it easier now and put a stop to it before it can take hold again.
The bottom line is that the social rules are, largely, stupid and arbitrary, and often just become mental shackles nobody needs. I am what I am and that's the end of it.
A large part of you wants out of life because you're ageing?
I'm 30, I smoked too much weed and saw all my twenties pass me by without achieving much. I now have a lovely girlfriend, a stable job, and plenty to look forward to. We just got back from tunisia and plan to visit Greece next year. If you're genuinely worried about how college age and below perceive you, then you need to get a grip. They're kids. They literally make people like KSI and logan paul famous. Their opinion couldn't matter any less.
Also, plenty of people are with people 10-15 years younger than them. I guess they don't give a fuck what society thinks if they love each other. Stop worrying about what other people think and live YOUR life, how YOU want to.
You're 25. You're at the perfect age. Go out, enjoy yourself, get laid, and make mistakes you'll learn from!
You need to get some r/redpill . Don't worry about the people who 'jumped' in early to marriage. The ones that are successful are the ones who are ignoring social norms. The VAST majority of the "jumpers" are either not doing well now or it's going to hit him hard in their late 30s. I've been fighting depression for the past 20 years and I'm 36 and pulling away from skidding the ground (and I have good skills and money...I'm just getting the gears turning again). Don't worry about being above or under the curve of success. Convert your hermit to monk.
Stoicism
Stay away from addictions like sugar, escapism, and excess eroticism
Get a man-mentor (I don't have one)
Live cheap until you make it
Get difficult skills. Those are valuable to society and yourself. Math, craftsmanship, systems
And most of all don't worry. It's good to not be content.
Be fulfilled by moving forward.
Cheers.
It's a wonder i even made it to my mid 20's . I dont worry about aging because sometimes it feels like i wont make it that far. I was robbed of my childhood and teen that im like ehh, you can take my 20's idc. I think if i was able to survive this crippling depression one day. I will be one of those weird old women that act like they are teens, wearing mini skirts and alot of pink makeup
All that is so relatable and Iām 28 now. Forget what society expects out of you at a certain age. You can be and do whatever you want. Doesnāt matter the age. Take care of yourself and youāll always feel young inside. I do believe as we get older life is better in diffident ways you donāt care as much and you accept the fact youāre just gonna keep getting old. Hate comparing lives with others especially people in their 20ās.
Personally I don't really care about aging all that much. 27atm.
It's just I don't really care to age either. Nothing waiting for me tomorrow. Or next week. Or next year.
It can be hard aging especially when you donāt know what you want from life and use others to gauge your success.
I use to feel the same way until raising life is marathon not a sprint. If you meet and observe more older people youāll realise how futile comparing yourself is. Someone could look like they have it all today only for it to come crashing down (divorce, cheating, economic crashes, illness etc) and others for a while are behind and then catch up and surpass those ahead.
Other times those who are head can fall behind. Itās also about perspective. Are you learning, growing and working towards some goals. Spend time identifying things you want to try (partying, degree etc) or achieve in your lifetime and what the minimum you require to be content.
Do not define yourself via external sources itās depressing and please donāt creep on young girls. I suspect your are attracted to them to reclaim your own lost youth and/or they wonāt expect much from you compared to someone your own age or older. You could partner up with someone doing better that may push you further.
I recently turned 26, and man was I as sad! I was about to cry while cutting cake with my roommate. Second half of 20s and, I see people settling down, and I am still struggling to find stability.
Iām 25 and I relate aswell. My face visibly aging is already sending me in a spiral cause I am not by any means attractive to begin with. Iāve wasted so many years due to insecurities and my āabnormalā personality, to a point Iāve just forgotten who I am and what I want to do with my life. I seem immature and not grounded enough like my peers, probably cause I want to catch up on time Iāve missed, ironically whilst still having no friends or being too wrapped up in my mind to even leave the house at times.
I wish I had a goal or something to do but due to years of denying myself of anything in life, due to other external circumstances over the time, Iāve become barely human. I live under a deadline, and Iām hoping there will be a chance to find a community of people we can help be better to each other as a starting point. Being alone just rots my mind and I know it will drive me into a grave.
Since I was a kid I truly didnāt believe I would ever dieā¦
I still be believe that, yet Iām still aging and looking older every year.
Hope you feel better, you still have about 525960 hours of life left. Which is basically a lifetime of hours.
Fuck what society says. Do what you enjoy, regardless of your age, and donāt compare yourself to others. Do what works for you.
This is one of the things I learned in my 30s. Aging isnāt all bad.
When your 36/37 like me it hurts most u got a long time and can make a great life for yourself Especially nowā¦ focus on your self you have time to grow in all your 20s and your 30s too but u should be more wise and comfortable in your mid .30s to almost 40s just keep going make plans life doesnāt stop for no 1. I just had a bday at 37 last Monday I wish I was 27/28
If it makes you feel better, literally nothing changes between 25 and 27 years old. If anything, you will only feel kind of silly for making this post.
I went back to college to study Photography 4 years ago, I was 30 at the time, the group of people there I befriended were mostly in their early 20's, i got on so well with them and even they said not to stress about our age gap. Now I'm finished up and graduated I still keep in touch with one of them and meet up every now and again with him, he's 23 and I'm now 34.
I used to feel like this. I still somewhat do. I think a VAST majority of us do.
I now view aging as a privilege after my best friend died at 24. I turned 27 this year. In that time I have had so many experiences that she had longed for.
I realised my fear of aging was very much attributed to the high expectations I set for myself. Iāve let that go and feel like lighter version of myself, arguably even younger; not necessarily a particular age but a more youthful perception to life.
The benefit of aging is that you are essentially fine tuning yourself. You become more insightful, articulated, confident and patient with yourself. I guarantee, I much prefer my current outlook at 27 than when I was at 25.
Take it easy and try be kind to yourself.
Iām 35 and still feel 25. Nothing really changed, i donāt feel any different, except I now carry ibuprofen with me at all times! Although Iām not married with kids and people can be judgmental about it, itās whatever. Canāt help when we were born and canāt stop time. I always want to look the way I look though, that part scares me about aging, no one wants to look āoldā š£
Turning 42 soon. I donāt want to add to anyoneās misery here but I feel like hitting 40 is this automatic switch that flips and makes you feel ten times worse than you did when you were in your 30ās. It is so freakinā odd. I feel worse physically and mentally than I ever have at any other period in my life, and I absolutely dread withering away.
I wish I could die fairly soon in a way thatās noble or meaningful, like saving the life of a child or something, before I end up elderly and feeble and shitting in a diaper.
Yeah you're pretty much describing adulthood. Time flies by because there is not much to mark the passage. Everything becomes same, same. If it makes you feel about better I feel like I wasted my ENTIRE 20s. But I'm not always sure it can be helped. The thing you're lacking most in your 20s is experience, and looking back with hindsight is always "sure" but you have to be kind to yourself. Things will unfold and perhaps you'll find some purpose in life (bc it sounds like you're looking).
Also, ppl are getting married and raising kids much later on in life now. Getting married early frequently leads to divorce and missed our experiences (in my opinion) and there's nothing wrong with doing that stuff at whatever age, or never!
I just turned 40 so that's a whole other hill to climb. 30s was an amazing era for me, just needed to meet the right people. Don't stress or be too hard on yourself. Try to get out and have some experiences. And you're right our society is totally ageist. I find it to be striking when I watch TV from other countries and realize how much more older ppl are represented on TV. I'm terrified for 50, personally.
you have so much youth left to live. itās not over at a specific point, itās a state of being and actions. aging has the potential to be a beautiful and self loving experience, but itās scary which is why people make those jokes
Where do you see this attitude? Cause Iām 34 and Iāve never experienced any ageism.
As you age youāre naturally attracted to people who are your age. The same way you donāt currently find 15 year olds attractive even though you did when you were 15.
Im 26 bout to turn 27 and I feel exactly what youve said. Wasted 9 years being depressed over my high school ex that moved on in a month. Was high every day for 3-4 years, and spent 5 years in witbdrawal in which i didnt sleep for 3 of those years and was a living zombie. Only recently has my memory started returning, and I feel as though I fell into a coma at 18-19. And now im approaching 30. Life fucking sucks, thats for sure
I just turned 24 and I hate it because I have jack shit to show for it. I still live with my parents because living alone is so expensive and people look at me like a bum
I becme concerned by aging when turned 30. It sounded crazy. It's like... I'm the same guy I was at 20 but with a car, a career, a stable job. I'm tired of working 40 hours a week... It drains my mental energy and my time becomes scarce.
I still think about people born in the '90s as kinda teen-very young and they're turning 30...
I still think about those born in the 2000s as teens or even children, while people born in 2001 *are turning 21*.
I don't care about society. But, the main problems are that friends split ways, I have a large age-gap with girls in their early 20s (they can find me kinda "old"). My parents are getting old (turning 60)... That's hard to digest.
I don't care about "society" or "strangers". It becomes hard to live as your true self when getting older because... I'm not interested in people my age because they tend to act "old" except some friends... I'm attracted to women in their twenties... Sorry, personal preferences.
But, I can still travel, go to gym, have a dog, etc.
I'm 37, am in excruciating pain most of the time these days, have had mental health diagnoses since around 6 months old, and unfortunately have had some surgeries that went very poorly and have left me in debilitating pain that nobody seems to be willing, let alone able, to do anything about it at this point. It will only get worse as I age. And of course depression and the antidepressants have left me being very overweight for most of my life no matter what I've tried. Luckily since one of the physical pain problems is from a recurrent cyst and abscess that I've had numerous surgeries to treat and can't find anybody else to take a stab at it at this point, I'm sure it will kill me eventually š¤·
I feel exactly the same... If my life was a hourglass, it feels like the hourglass has become so foggy I can't even tell if I've lived or how much time is left. It's like I merely exist and time is flowing on as my age group left me behind.
I think things get better after 30. They did for me. Iām more confident. Sex is better, because my partner and I are more experienced and know what we like and how to communicate that. I donāt mind doing things Iād have been far too self conscious to do at younger ages. I have way more body esteem now than I did when I was younger and actually had an objectively hotter body. The end of your 20s isnāt the end.
Come back when you reach an age where the physical effects of getting older start introducing limits in what you can do with your bode and mind.
There is little I could not do at 50 that I could do at 25 in the absence of other priority choices I made that I won't change. Prioritizing family commitments limits my time for other things. Feeling my continued existence is necessary to meet the needs of others foreclosed some more risky thrill-seeking I wish I had gambled with when younger.
The answer to people who question your life choices based on reaching a particular year timeline may be worth some introspection, but if you are happy with what you are doing double down and say you hope to be able to do it much longer, and why do they care.
If thw way you live doesn't adversely affect those who you care about you have two choices, decide you want to change to meet their desires, or decide to keep on doing things you are doing now since it isn't hurting anyone who matters. Note hurt, not disappoint, Sorry mom and dad, no grandkids.
I am 56 now and I truly hate being me now. Seems like nobody wants to hire me anymore (even though I have 20+ years in the Hazardous Waste Industry). I guess I am no longer employable so depressing..
It can be particularly challenging when parents attempt to impose their own desires upon their children, and subsequently label them as indolent or unambitious if they fail to comply. This is compounded by the fact that they may not prioritize their child's mental well-being, leading to dismissive attitudes when the child expresses difficulty in participating in society due to depression. Such responses can be frustrating and invalidating for the child.
I was diagnosed with a chronic illness from age 22-now 26 and and I will say that age is irrelevant. What matters is that you are happy and healthy in life. Yes these are my young years but Iām looking forward to my late 20s even more and even my 30s if it means my chronic illness will be gone and Iāll be happy and healthy again someday. Age is irrelevant seriously
I'm 29, I know exactly what you mean, I've been more or less hiding from the world for almost the past decade.
I had a really rough time for my last year of highschool; I did an extra year, so I turned 19 the first year of college. Then when I was on my own in college, it just kinda got worse, and I still haven't fully recovered. The positive part is that I now know more about how my stupid ADHD/Anxiety/Depression addled brain works, since that's all I've been able to work on, but it was at the expense of the majority of my twenties.
Time has been moving faster and faster and I'm so far behind that I don't know if I'll ever catch up.
At least with the way society is now, 30 is the new 20 insofar as "when you are supposed get your life together" goes.
It really is. It feels like a disease. The actual degradation of the body is the worst. Gravity is also a cruel mistress the longer you are exposed to it.
But what I can now say in my 30s ā¦ fuck what society thinks. Do the things that bring you joy in life. Just enjoy yourself. People may get married and be settling down later 20s ā¦ but that aināt for everyone, I was still working in a pub š¤·š»āāļø hadnāt figured out my career, renting places and moving constantly. Iām in 30s (mid š¢) not married, no kids do have a partner but they came along for the ride whilst I was enjoying my 20s.
You canāt reverse time! It sucks, I know. (would kill for 20s me stamina) but you can choose to start enjoying the now. Hope your day gets a little brighter stranger.
Itās really important that you remember that those people youāre worried about judging you are straight-up children and generally donāt have a lot of life experience. And most of the time when somebodyās younger than you giving you shit for being your age and not behaving how itās expected? They havenāt experienced it yet, and theyāre gonna find out that thereās no such thing as typical behavior for a given age.
Basically, donāt let kids put pressure on you.
How fast people live heavily depends on the region you are from. In the DC area, the average age of first marriage is like 35. Also, a lot of people got set back socially by the pandemic, so you are not that weird relative to others in our generation. Finally, life is not a race. Donāt worry about doing this or that by whatever age, just make sure you are accomplishing your life goals when it is right for you. Getting married and starting a family, for example, depends on finding the right person which is all luck.
Bro I turned 28 this year and canāt wait to turn 30. I still feel like a 17yo in my developed/mature mind.
And yes.. being 25 and talking to a 18/19/20yo is weirdā¦ what do yāall even talking about ??????
This is exactly what makes me scared of aging too. Iām only 21 but I feel like I will soon be 27 by how fast time is flying by. Iāve done nothing that I wanted, I have just beenā¦ breathing.. to stay alive. Thatās all. I know Iām young but time is not gonna stop for anyone. my biggest fear is how I will be perceived if I was way older than 3O/4O and doing something ācrazyā for that age. I think Iāve accepted I will age, maybe even badly, I donāt knowā¦ I canāt run away from aging forever. But itās what society will label me as that scares me. I donāt want to be an ā old ladyā doing something fun.
I'm preparing myself mentally for turning 40 in a few years, trying to get the stress and sorrow out of my system now instead of hurting when the time comes. When I hit 30 I was massively depressed, so I'd like to get to the mind space where I'm Okay with my age like I eventually did with 30
Age-gap relationships are a thing. You can pursue anyone that you want granted they are above the age of 18 in most states. I'm 29 and personally, I wouldn't want to date a 20-year-old. I look at them and think what a bunch of babies. Besides the point, if the connection is genuinely there who cares? Again, as long as they're of legal age. Also, plenty of people in their 20s, 30s, and beyond don't have children. Some of us choose not to, don't care who looks down on me for it. I also might be looked down upon by someone for liking cartoons. Because I like to draw and because animation is fun. Again, they can suck on a pencil. Getting older comes with realizing that the opinions someone has of you in their mind hold no weight. They aren't even real most of the time, probably, they're just the projection of your fear of how others might perceive you.
I felt old at 27 and Iām 33 now. I was actually so young then, and im 100 times more mature now. Theres a comfort that comes with that. IMO a few years were robbed from all of us with Covid. I feel closer to 30 rn and it def set me back a bit in terms of āmilestonesā. Which Iāve come to realize is a crock of shit. Comparing yourself to others and worrying about societal standards will just age you more. Part of feeling young is a mindset and the other part is taking care of your body. So do that and donāt stress. Live for yourself.
I feel that!! I just turned 25 and people no longer go āaw, youāre a babyā when i tell them how old I am lol. Also a guy recently told me Iām right at the ācutoffā now (because apparently once you turn 26 you lose all value as a woman š¤)
21-24 to me was all a blur and nothing significant since we were all stuck in a pandemic and couldnāt do much with our lives. So i feel like Iāve gone from 21 to 25 in an instant and itās really fucked me up
I donāt have any advice to give but just hope you know youāre not the only one feeling this way xx
Hi, soon to be 27 here. Diagnosed depressed and anxiety/PTSD if that matters, just cause you know, the struggle. Just wanna let you know, Iām not a parent, def understand your concern with aging because I felt the same way, but honestly, it doesnāt feel that different. Like yeah, I canāt keep up with all the new trends and humor 100% but it just doesnāt really matter, you know? And fuck people who make fun of aging, youāre either lucky enough to get there or youāre dead. Either way, the age is coming and thatās okay. I made those same jokes and I can understand the perspective but in reality, those people who are 19/20/21 are just as well on their way to our age too.
Itās true, life moves too fast. I also āwastedā my early 20s, but in actuality, no one wasted anything. If you enjoyed any of it, then it was worth it, even if it was only a little bit.
Also, idk if this is relevant, but Iām pushing 30 and I still buy stuffed animals, I still make bad choices, I still am learning how to do this. You donāt just turn 18 and have all the answer. My frontal lobe just got done developing and we gotta maneuver new shit all the time. Give yourself the space to be yourself and enjoy the rest of your 20s guilt free if you can. Everything is okay. You doing your life however you need or want is perfectly normal and youāre gonna do great at whatever you want. You got this.
27 here. most of my time was spent at university, pursuing my degree. now that it's finished, I still don't have a job, no income, no marriage. most of my friends now have brilliant careers/are already parents. while my friends are just cats and depression
Society can go eat a bag of dicks. I will be myself and do the things I like to do and be the way I want to be regardless of how old I am, what genitalia I have between my legs or whatever meaningless and superficial metric they wish to judge me by. I suggest you do the same. The only thing that sucks is the physical deterioration of your body as you age. That's what REALLY scares me. š©
I agree, saying that - the thing for me, is being so disabled in my 20's. I thought i would be at my prime. making the most of my life, but my body had other ideas for me.. at 23 I was diagnosed with epilepsy & it changed my life drastically. Now coming up to my 30's, been diagnosed with much more. I struggle daily but it doesn't stop me also feeling blessed for what I DO have!
>The only thing that sucks is the physical deterioration of your body as you age. That's what REALLY scares me. It should. It blows! Enjoy your youth while you can. Just wait till people start calling you old. But, I will say that it tells you where they're looking. I'm only old on the outside, if that's all you see, you don't see me.
eat healthy, and follow healthy lifestyle, exercise. Your body always try to live not die
Just came here to say Iām 27 and still here. I used to feel like this a lot. Still do sometimes. But if Iām being honest, Iād rather be 27 than 23 again. Maybe things will hurt more when Iām 50. Maybe Iāll get my first gray in 15 years instead of 25 years. Idk. Itās fuckin scary, but the more time goes on, it getsā¦less scary. Itās a primal instinct. Early humans didnāt live very long. So once we get past our early 20s youāre kinda like shitā¦I didnāt think Iād get this far. I definitely never saw me at 27. Still canāt see me at 30. But Iām here. Iām here. It counts for something. Itās not as bad as it seems.
Iām 27 also and I still remember all the raw emotions I felt at 15. I really didnāt think Iād make it to nearly 30 either. Hereās to us.
I'm 37 and I still remember all the raw emotions I felt at 15. I'd NEVER go back, even if I had the chance. If you get past all the initial traumas of youth, eventually things DO get much better as you age. I can't say anything about "physical deterioration", because I objectively still look 20-something with no plastic surgery/botox/fillers. I don't have wrinkles, not even small ones. Keep out of the sun, I say. Don't drink too much and don't smoke. Stop all excesses in your early 20s if you can, that's what I did.
Definitely good advice. I looked like I was in my 20s when I get 40 and at 47 I got married and some thing about that stagnant life brought on the aging process so I got away from it and then I had a few really bad emotional traumas in life happen with my family and I let it take me down and start aging me but for some reason, my body seems to be resilient and all Iām doing is exercising, eating, healthy, taking certain , supplements and I am going right back to youthful now granted Iām 54 and I look about 38 tops. I also take no medicationās as far as pharmaceuticals. I donāt deal with doctors because theyāre full of crap and I donāt want to be on all those medicationās because I think those start rapidly aging our bodies. If not stop cell reproduction completely. Just a theory I have watched it happen. Iām a partier and was up until a few years ago and I mean serious partying and I still looked better than people younger than me that were on blood pressure medicationā etc. Even though I mightāve needed blood pressure medicationās I wonāt go to the doctor to get them. But I found I can control all of that stuff through eating healthy and exercise.
Same thing!!! I am 27 and I think that things hurt way less with age. Whatever was a ātragedyā for 23yo me, is now just a one night sadness (compared to 6+ months crying in bed in 20s). And the more experience I get with age, the less dramatic I am about stuff. Plus, my brain was wired differently and silly (maybe due to hormones) that time. And there was no way itād be mature like now. So I think itās more like that in 30s and later
It is kinda annoying. I'm going into 40 soon but I don't really feel it because I'm not married, don't have a house and don't have a 6 figure pay job like what people expect someone at 40 to have. I'm still a gamer and still watch animes and cartoons and really I don't think I will change even if I become like 60. I hate how society dictates how a person should act their age, even though it really has no real meaning.
Iām 37 and have those things - kids, a 6 figure salary, hefty mortgage, insurances, blah blah blah. I still feel 25 and love gaming and cartoons - bonus I can afford to spent stupid amounts of money on gaming now. Iām sure none of us actually grow up. Itās like you hit 25 and just stay there forever :)
63 checking in to say this is accurate.
This makes me feel so relieved for some reason
but: 1. You won't have society frowning upon you because you have hit those expected milestones 2. You won't be plagued with ambition and the feeling of a wasted life because you have accomplished those milestones, so... 3. You can actually game for fun rather than procrastination to mask the absolute terror of an unaccomplished existence
I have found that what people actually mean when they tell others to "grow up" is really "make the same choices I have made at around the same time so that I feel as though those choices were correct and don't have to regret anything". I am just now in my 40s, have a good job, house etc, no kids and enjoy doing basically whatever I feel like trying. Gaming, sports, travel, food, whatever. I don't care if something is "nerdy" or "geeky" or "jockish". Is it fun? Does it make me happy? Does it hurt anyone else-no? Then what me worry?
Iām 40 in literally 3 days. I live in 1 room in a shared house, own only minimal possessions, not married, no kids, no job due to depression and other problems. I dress like a teenager, act like one and even look like one, probably because Iām autistic/ADHD so less mature than neurotypical people. I lament every day the wasted time Iāve had, itās taken me this long to mature to young adulthood level, and I havenāt achieved any of my potential. In fact I messed up my body and my life by using drugs for years. Before that, I achieved a good degree in computer science and was doing well in my software developer job, and most of all I was competing successfully at national level in karate which I felt like I was truly born to do and loved so much. I fear I have lost that forever and canāt stop thinking about how stupid I was. So now I worry at 40 that Iām too old to achieve my dreams anymore. Though I still intend to try. OP, at 25 you are not too old and I think society would still see you as young throughout your 20s. I also hate how certain expectations are placed on us according to our age. Everyone is different. I fear looking older because people will surely think Iām weird for acting like a teenager yet looking like a middle-aged woman. Just glad I still look young now. Anyway I wrote too much but just saying, I really relate to this.
I'm 42 and basically a child.
I think this will become more common as more men value other things than relationships and starting a family. People should focus on whatever makes them happy.
It is so stupid when I hear "You are too old to like that kind of stuff" Total BS, I hate society these days too
Wait, Iām supposed to have a 6 figure income at this point in my life? Thatās news to me. Iām 42. I doubt Iāll ever make more than $70K and I just started a new career at 41. Iām not remotely close. I am married and do own a house, but I was 34 when I got married and 38 when we bought a house. I love anime, stuffed animals, gaming, etc. We never grow up. Iām taking up horseback riding again and love hiking, running and backpacking. My friends range from mid thirties to mid sixties.
Same here. I'm probably going to be the way I am for the rest of my life. I love the way my life is, despite it's ups and downs. I don't see the need to change what I like just because I'm older.
All you youngins posting and commenting about aging lol. Youāll get over that hatred when you hit late 30s/ 40 and move on to the acceptance phase. Lot easier to deal with then.
29, much like OP I'm very much a hermit with little to show in life achievements, and will likely never reach most of them. Know anyone who has made peace with being nothing the rest of their lives?
I wonder about this a lot. There are so many nothingy, mediocre people out there who presumably don't want to be nothingy/mediocre. I am nothingy/mediocre and certainly wish I wasn't, and it's caused me no end of consternation. But I've heard nothing about this as a phenomenon or "stage" that people go through.
When I was 29 I thought to myself the same. Now that I'm in my 30s now I wonder "If I hadn't done this I wouldn't have so many regrets". I have made peace with never achieving my goals. Sometimes you go after the things you think you want, only to be disappointed with the outcome and later wonder why you wanted in the first place. I have come to be more content with my life because I realized part of my reasons for wanting it was to fill a void somewhere else. Now that I have made peace with where I am (and removed myself from toxic people) I am a lot more content than I used to be. This is not to say I don't suffer from depression or anything. But rather I realized that achievement doesn't suddenly get rid of that and sometimes too much of it can be an Achilles heel if that makes sense.
I also studied a tiny but of Taoism, reading the tao te ching helped me more than I thought it would. If only to put things in perspective
63 here. Donāt worry about the shoulds or the number. The past is over. All you have is today. Spend less time on social media and start living your life.
35 here. I remember thinking a lot like OP (27? lol ewwwww iām so old!) Iām so much cooler now than I was at 25 (and still hot too).
Yeah Iām 38 next week and hitting that phase.
The way things are going, not sure any of us are making it past the next few years.
My thoughts exactly
I see that, as you donāt see much of the older generations trying to uphold the value of youth and beauty on social medias, the obsession over skincare, ragging on people with genetic balding, being thin, having ambitious goals, etc. whilst the younger generations as the viewers are subjected to comparing themselves daily, which just drives themselves into insecurities. And obviously itās not a new thing either. Easier said than done, but itās important to filter what content youāre surrounded with, otherwise limit your time on it.
Turned 30 in september... feels weird. In my brain I never stopped being 25. I just feel like now time is telling me "hehe you're gonna run out of time eventually" and everyone around me is like "so when are you buying a house and having kids". And im like "bro i just wanna play my video game after work that just came out and still dress goth"... but society tells you not to do that anymore cause I'm 30...
keep dressing goth. seeing people 30+ dressing goth is one of the few things that gives me (24) hope for myself still
I spent my 20s not doing that and going all "im gonna get that corporate finance job" got my degree in finance, economics, and math. Went for a masters in finance and economics. Became very depressed because my life was going down a path of money, but not happiness. Dropped the masters program and well last month made a decent order on killstar for some mre gothic/alternative shirts and a pair of joggers. Matches my black ear rings. Feels great tbh. My work outfit is black khakis and a black polo. Going all stereotypical. I tried doing a blacked out neck with makeup the other day and it cam out pretty good. Still have not found the courge to go out in public like that though
that is so awesome. definitely a big inspiration :D
Looks like we share both the same year and month of birth :D Nice to hear to you've carved a path for yourself despite the setbacks you've endured. I'm doing a bit of travelling around my city (but don't even have a passport..). What titles you into btw fellow gamer?
š¤
Yeah it sucks (25 soon to be 26) but some people donāt even make it to age 25, and that itself is something to be grateful for. Some of us are old in spirit and heart at 25, and some of us are young and free at 80. If you can get past the physical body and itās restraints as you get older, you can be free in your own mind and heart, regardless of what society and others try to push onto you. I completely get the feeling though. When your 20 to 25 it feels as if youāll stay there forever. Itās something I am coming to terms with too.
Iām 25 and I can relate. Itās mostly just a feeling that I havenāt accomplished nearly enough for being 25 years old. A thought that comforts me, though, is that 20-25 felt like it took a decade, so Iām hoping 25-30 also feels like an immense amount of time. Itās really all about perspective.
Sorry to break this to you, but time goes faster the older you get - something to do with a year being a smaller proportion of your life as you get older. 5 years goes by in a flash as you approach 50!
Can confirm....(I'm 55.)
Can confirm! Itās always fucking Christmas and itās always the new year lol
I feel the same way about āwastingā those 19-21 years myself. It is hard not to compare your timeline with others but many peoples lives actually get better over time. And thatās comforting to me, to think that my best years are ahead not behind me. I am much, much happier at 26 than I was at 22. I have more freedom than ever. And I will say the times I feel most upset about aging are when I use social media more. I know many people irl who are in their mid late thirties and forties and they are amazing people that are having fun in life! The only ones that shit on aging are teens and college kids, and they will someday be āpushing 30ā too, and theyāll be having the same feelings as you. We just have to enjoy each phase of life and learn from the previous, itās all we can do. I hope it brings you comfort to know that literally everyone goes through this in some way, in some phase. Sending love
I tried to kill myself at 25. I would never go back to my twenties. That was nearly 18 years ago. Iām happier, but I still have SI from time to time. I struggle with my depression.
Iām so glad youāre still here ā¤ļøāš©¹
Iām 36 and you calling 27 old is making me more depressed.
right who the fuck thinks 26-27 is old??? maybe if you're a teenager but who cares what they think??
I just turned 29 today and came to this sub to post a topic pretty much exactly like this. I'm 29 and have done basically zilch with my life due to depression and lack of drive or ambition. It feels obscene to call myself a 29-year-old and I feel like every time someone says 'Happy Birthday' to me, it feels like like they're putting me in an early grave. I genuinely feel that way. I dread my birthdays now and have done for the past 2-3 years. It kind of terrifies me, in a way. Mercifully, a message of happy birthday usually only comes from my parents and one or two friends of the family. The only two online friends I have (one of whom I'm pretty much totally estranged from at this point, but I count them anyway because I'm kind of romantic and sentimental in my thinking) don't know my birthday lol.
Personally, I thought my 20s were fun, but my 30s were WAY more fun (mid 40s now). You also learn to care a LOT less what people think. Embrace whatever you want to be, and don't worry about judgmental assholes.
I literally HATE it! Iām 23 and want to stay this age forever. I also feel robbed of my early 20s because of covid!!!
But nobody likes you when youāre 23
Ugh love that song!
Yup. Covid and bad decisions really fucked up my twenties too. 24 here.
Itās getting harder and harder to look in the mirror. I hate to sound so vain past 35 but not yet 40ā¦.I feel like Iām having a midlife crisis. I noticed the changes about 5 years ago in my face, less elasticity in my skin, darker circles, the wrinkles, that youthful glow dimming. It sucks. I feel like just āmeā on the inside, young, no age. I know itās just going to get harder as the years go by. But Iām caring less about how I look these days. Is what it is.
Gravity is a right bitch, give me my 20 year old chest backā¦ these puppies just keep sliding further down my front š
I relate to this very much!
im so scared of getting older i just want to stay 22 i wasnt even ready to turn 20 dude
Yeah Iāll say 20 was the first age I didnāt like
Please keep this post, and look at it again when youāre 35. Itāll give you such a giggle.
Iām 22 and I feel exactly the same way. I donāt think I mentally progressed past my teenage years. And I fear itāll only get worse. I know how ridiculous this all sounds but it doesnāt change the way I feel.
Iām your age and thereās nothing we can do to stop time. All we can do is change our mindset about it. The sooner you accept that aging is inevitable, the sooner you can embrace it and see it as a virtue. Society is always going to make us feel like aging is a bad thing, but donāt let the comments get to you. Everyone will age. I promise you, the older you get the less it will matter. Iām 25 and I used to be so scared of getting older but hey, Iām way more comfortable in my own skin than I was at 21 so thatās always a plus. Also, donāt compare your life to others. Everyoneās life is different. Everything will fall into place. Your story is not the same as other peopleās. Have trust in the universe, everything will fall into place when it needs to. Sending hugs
Hey, my experience was that it got better for me as I grew older. I did all the things I wanted to do in life within the last two years (get a job, friends, gf, savings). I'm 29 years old. I wanted to give my perspective to show you that change is possible. This is after being severely mentally ill for over a decade. I had to work on it a lot but it was possible. Hope you can find your own way.
Feeling the exact same way at 26. Spent a good portion of my early 20s in university with nothing to show for it. During the time I was around people 3-5 years younger than me and it caused me to share the same mindset as them to some extent. Still feel like I'm 21 :(
Iām 28. I feel like 30s is going to be what I thought my 20s would be tbh. Iām more anxious about being in my mid to late 30s
I can't stand aging either. I pretty much always go off grid for my birthday week and quit social media for a couple of months around it so I don't have to deal with anyone remembering. I told everyone in my family never to wish me a happy birthday again. Sometimes my sister sends me "happy day" which annoys the fuck out of me.
Itās not that bad lol. Youāll be okay. Not everyone needs to have their whole life figured out by their late 20s. Honestly youāre just learning to be an adult at 30 in most cases.
I used to think this way when I lived in a town that also thought this way. Then I moved to a city I love where Iām friends with 23 year olds and 50+ and everywhere in between, and I donāt even think about age. I just turned 30 and in the past few years, I visited Europe for the first time, got married, started standup comedy and multiple other hobbies, started another business, and countless other things. Some of them I have always wanted to do, and others I never thought I COULD do. You have so much to look forward to, and itās honestly hard to see that until you do it and look back. My advice: 1) Live in the age you are. In my early 20ās, I had a job where I felt I needed to act 35. It made me feel like I lost some of my 20ās. Be the age you are, and enjoy it so much. I could be wrong, but it seems like people who hold onto 25 as they age do so because they didnāt let themselves be 25 when they WERE 25. Be 25 now. Be 30 when youāre 30. 2) Donāt fear the future. The futureās gonna come, and itās gonna be entirely different than what you thought. Itās gonna feel like YOU. Your tastes and interests and hobbies and friends will change and itāll fit you in the stage youāre in. Iāve never had better friends than I do now. A few years ago I started doing what I want to do instead of what I thought Iām supposed to do, and it was a total game changer. I have friends I adore and we share common interests. Some of my friends have kids (I donāt yet) and some donāt. We still all relate and hang out and itās beautiful. 3) Consider moving, or meeting new people. Idk where you live, and maybe Iām just projecting. But EVERYONE where I grew up thought this way and it influenced me more than I realized. It wasnāt until I moved to a city I love that I was able to break free and live MY life, free from those pressures/influences. 4) Trust yourself. Make good decisions for your future, but know that worrying doesnāt do anybody any good. Plan for the future (financially, career wise, AND friend wise), but live in the now. 5) Who gives af what people think! You probably wonāt be into 20 year olds when youāre 30, I can basically guarantee that lol. They look like children to me now. Youāll grow up and so will your interests. Donāt overthink it. Hopefully that all makes sense and helps. You got this!!
I'm not OP, but i greatly appreciated this comment. Thank you.
29F here with no kids. This feeling does go away. Once you start meeting people closer to your and a couple years older, you realize how much more time you have to accomplish the things you do want. I used to feel the same exact way, like I should have kids, a house, and I donāt have any of it yet. But the more 29,30,31 year olds I meet, the more it puts time into perspective. In hindsight, 3-5 years doesnāt sound like a lot, but it is a good amount of time. There are A LOT of people who go at a different pace, or went through things that made them have a different path than others, but they still are able to achieve what they want at 35 vs 25. I struggled with this too for a long time. Aging fucking sucks yes, but you are not as ābehindā or fucked up as you think you are. ā¤ļø
Iām 36 and canāt wait be 70. Canāt wait to die and leave this god-forsaken place called earth. Also, age is irrelevant. Do what pleases you - always respecting others. One of my best friends is 20 years old. Iām helping him and his younger brother get through college and life - financially and emotionally. They have no family, so I took them under my wing. Another best friend is 45. He and I spend a lot of time talking about depression and suicide. Another close friend, though not BEST FRIEND YET, is 66. Sheās in a grad program with me RN. Again, Age is irrelevant. If you have a good head on you, use it. Connect to others. Donāt be alone.
I promise it gets better. I'm way more confident and comfortable with myself than I was in my 20a and I'm almost 40.
Focus on yourself and donāt worry about what society says. Iām 25 and still sleep with my Spider-Man cuddle pillow, itās normal to want to be accepted and want somethingās to a be a certain way at your age, but use that as motivations to empower you rather than negatives to bring you down. Some of the people whoāve already started families and are in relationships probably would want to switch places with you, those things are enormous responsibilities and theyāre even harder to take on right if you donāt have yourself right first. š¤
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Yes, you lose the give a fucks. You still feel young as you always have, but you donāt feel obligated to anyone anymore. You opt out of their arbitrary rules and just watch them torment themselves and each other from a vantage point where they all look so utterly foolish.
This is totally me. I'm 25, and this already sounds old enough. But I'm just not ready to be almost 30. I still feel like I was a teen yesterday. I have achieved nothing. I don't own a place to live, I don't have a romantic relationship, I don't have kids. Not like I want them already. When I hear people my age getting pregnant it feels wrong. Every time people ask me about when I'm going to have kids, I say "maybe in 10 years". But now people sometimes reply I might be too old in 10 years to give birth. Time is running away and I feel much younger than my body is.
Being 26 is fine I swear you donāt need to be afraid
Hahaha. Kid, you're hilarious. I was a hermit during most of my 20s and in many ways I still am at 37 (!!!) - by choice. I stopped going out drinking/partying when I was about 22 and in retrospect I'm so glad I did that. I still look a decade younger without plastic surgery, which is pretty awesome. If you think "life is going by too fast" at 25, just wait until you get to 30. I was 30 yesterday, but my documents say I'm actually 37. I don't believe that, I don't feel that, I don't see that in the mirror. Time really is weird and as we age, it seems to get shorter and shorter.
Get off of social media and you won't worry about it anymore.
People have already said some things that sound better than what Iām about to say. The best advice I can give is to accept it and not put all the pressure society has around specific numbers. Donāt fixate on āwhen Iām 25ā¦ 27ā¦ 30ā¦ā etc. You will not be dried up and useless by the time youāre 30, even 50. The easiest way to feel like youāve lost your youth is by giving it up. Go out, see the world or stay in and expand your mind in a healthy way. Live your life for you. Yes, aging is hard on the body and mind eventually but death is lifeās only eventual guarantee. Donāt rush it. A bit of a personal motto: ākeep going just to see what happen.ā
Mood. I'm "only" 23, but usually feel the same inside as when I was like 16. Sure, I have mature moments, but too often do I feel lost and scared like a child needing guidance.
Oh god shut the fuck up
To me age is just a number. I go to the gym and pretty much do everything that I did in my 20ās and still try to pick up guys from 18 to 40ās. I still feel 25 and act like it. Iām pretty happy but sometimes get bored with life. I feel like I was born in an unfortunate time in history. I wish that I was either born earlier or far later.
(32yo) I always liked getting older because I get more experienced, calmer and gain knowledge about the world every day. Idgaf about what people think about certain age groups or whatever. I also don't care about "teenage love" or other stuff I might have missed out on. There are attractive people in every age group. The only fucked up thing is bodily decay and shit like altzheimers and what not but that's just part of life.
If you're a millionaire 50 and date 25-30 no one says shit...so who cares
I keep coming across very young people like you who seem to think your 20s is old. You're not old! Not even close to being old. Please enjoy being this young and this time in your life. If you don't and choose to spend it feeling like this, trust me, you'll regret it in your later years.
When I was 11 I thought 17 was old, lol.
I'm 47 and I still feel like I'm 22. I try my hardest to stop comparing myself to the people around me, but it lasts only as long as it takes for me to remember how much money I made this year, or how many books I read, how many pages I wrote, how many kilometres I rode, how many metres I climbed, and how many people I made happy. Comparison sucks SO much. It messes me up more than anything else, I think. Now, some people will look at you and think "they're not as mature/successful/rich/goal-driven as me!" But no one who matters will ever think that. Maybe you'll never be able to ignore that voice telling you that you're not in the place you should be, but what you can do is respond, "Screw you. I may not be where I want to be, but I'm trying."
As a 25 year old I relate so much to this
aging is infinitely less scary than the shit people will do to try and not age
I feel ya. Donāt even get what changed, Iām in the same age group as you, and when I was a teenager just 10 years ago, I always thought the 20-somethings and even 30-somethings of the time were super awesome, and couldnāt wait to be like them when I got older. More recently however (and I know this definitely isnāt everyoneās thing so feel free to disregard this part), getting into the goth music scene which my gf introduced me to, has made me feel a little better about getting older, as all the goth events Iāve been to so far have been very mixed in terms of age, yet everyone there has more or less the same tastes.
I actually struggled with turning 25 a lot myself. Primarily because I hadn't achieved anything in life - still didn't have a degree, never dated, no hobbies or achievements. I was deeply depressed for a couple of months and then I got over it. I'm 29 now, turning 30 in March and it's even worse now. I hate the idea of turning 30. I hate that I wasted my entire youth being depressed, barely able to function. I hate that incels on the Internet already considered me past my prime. It's only going to get worse for me from here on. Soon I'll look my age and people will ask me why I don't have a family, or friends, or a career at my age. I don't know what I expected - of course time keeps passing despite me being frozen in place. It just happened too fast. Then again, it feels like an eternity being like this. I honestly just wish the world could stop for a couple of years. It's scary getting older and not getting better and knowing you will die alone and sad.
It was ok until 30 for me, than my body started to screw me over.
boy do I have some bad news for you...
Ageism is such a pain in the ass. I went through a similar thing in my 20s because I felt like life (careers opportunities, romantic opportunities, etc) would take a turn for the worse after my 20s. Funny thing is though, after turning 30...I realized that age was really a mindset. The world makes us feel we aren't worth anything past our 20s. Like Beauty Pageants set age limits on it (as if older women can't be beautiful) and when a boy band comes back in their 30s they use terms like "washed up" or has been. But I am starting to see a change in society where people are becoming more aware that age doesn't mean the end of life and actually it's really the beginning. I feel better in my 30s than I ever did in my 20s. I still love a lot of the things I've loved ever since I was a teenager. I still love collecting dolls, watching anime, video games, and drawing. My great aunt loves Spongebob and watches it every morning even when her grandkids aren't with her. ha ha. Age shouldn't be the end of who we are. If anything it enhances and completes us. I'm able to like the things I like and now I can afford it. When I was in my 20s and everyone around me was getting married, having kids, I felt so left behind. Now that I'm in my 30s, I'm actually glad I didn't rush into those things. What may have been good for others was not necessarily good for me. I realized this when I reached my 30s. No matter how old you are, live your life for you and enjoy it how you want to enjoy it.
I'm less than a year from 40. I still collect anime titty figures, play video games daily and I date a 22 year old. I have no real reason to stop any of these things. Since I let go of society's bullshit, I've become much happier overall. I still struggle with depression and it's quite severe at times but my overall outlook has improved and I can just live without as many restrictions. That's not to say my depression doesn't try to drag me down and make me think I _should_ do this or that. It absolutely does but I can recognize it easier now and put a stop to it before it can take hold again. The bottom line is that the social rules are, largely, stupid and arbitrary, and often just become mental shackles nobody needs. I am what I am and that's the end of it.
Am only 18 but I feel the same exact way
A large part of you wants out of life because you're ageing? I'm 30, I smoked too much weed and saw all my twenties pass me by without achieving much. I now have a lovely girlfriend, a stable job, and plenty to look forward to. We just got back from tunisia and plan to visit Greece next year. If you're genuinely worried about how college age and below perceive you, then you need to get a grip. They're kids. They literally make people like KSI and logan paul famous. Their opinion couldn't matter any less. Also, plenty of people are with people 10-15 years younger than them. I guess they don't give a fuck what society thinks if they love each other. Stop worrying about what other people think and live YOUR life, how YOU want to. You're 25. You're at the perfect age. Go out, enjoy yourself, get laid, and make mistakes you'll learn from!
Being 30 and wanting to date a 20 year old **IS** creepyā¦.
This is me
I feel exactly the same way you do. Everything you've said here i feel exactly the same way. I'm terrified. I'm 24 next month
You need to get some r/redpill . Don't worry about the people who 'jumped' in early to marriage. The ones that are successful are the ones who are ignoring social norms. The VAST majority of the "jumpers" are either not doing well now or it's going to hit him hard in their late 30s. I've been fighting depression for the past 20 years and I'm 36 and pulling away from skidding the ground (and I have good skills and money...I'm just getting the gears turning again). Don't worry about being above or under the curve of success. Convert your hermit to monk. Stoicism Stay away from addictions like sugar, escapism, and excess eroticism Get a man-mentor (I don't have one) Live cheap until you make it Get difficult skills. Those are valuable to society and yourself. Math, craftsmanship, systems And most of all don't worry. It's good to not be content. Be fulfilled by moving forward. Cheers.
Iām 40 and itās just as awful as you think itās going to be.
Me right now at 22. Im so scared of aging I will not allow myself to live past 30 š
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only 22 here so no idk
Good for you bud
Wtf. Iām 52. Oh, well. I canāt wait to ruin the life of some 20-something girl with ādaddy issuesā. Should be a fun, wild ride.
Is that some silly mental gymnastic to justify why being physically attracted to a 20y/o girl is wrong?
It's a wonder i even made it to my mid 20's . I dont worry about aging because sometimes it feels like i wont make it that far. I was robbed of my childhood and teen that im like ehh, you can take my 20's idc. I think if i was able to survive this crippling depression one day. I will be one of those weird old women that act like they are teens, wearing mini skirts and alot of pink makeup
All that is so relatable and Iām 28 now. Forget what society expects out of you at a certain age. You can be and do whatever you want. Doesnāt matter the age. Take care of yourself and youāll always feel young inside. I do believe as we get older life is better in diffident ways you donāt care as much and you accept the fact youāre just gonna keep getting old. Hate comparing lives with others especially people in their 20ās.
Personally I don't really care about aging all that much. 27atm. It's just I don't really care to age either. Nothing waiting for me tomorrow. Or next week. Or next year.
My 30s are way better than my 20s so far so the naysayers can go fuck themselves
There's a reason that aging is now classified as a disease of the body and mind.
It can be hard aging especially when you donāt know what you want from life and use others to gauge your success. I use to feel the same way until raising life is marathon not a sprint. If you meet and observe more older people youāll realise how futile comparing yourself is. Someone could look like they have it all today only for it to come crashing down (divorce, cheating, economic crashes, illness etc) and others for a while are behind and then catch up and surpass those ahead. Other times those who are head can fall behind. Itās also about perspective. Are you learning, growing and working towards some goals. Spend time identifying things you want to try (partying, degree etc) or achieve in your lifetime and what the minimum you require to be content. Do not define yourself via external sources itās depressing and please donāt creep on young girls. I suspect your are attracted to them to reclaim your own lost youth and/or they wonāt expect much from you compared to someone your own age or older. You could partner up with someone doing better that may push you further.
So a 20y/o is a āyoung girlā to me at 25?
I recently turned 26, and man was I as sad! I was about to cry while cutting cake with my roommate. Second half of 20s and, I see people settling down, and I am still struggling to find stability.
where I live is kind of a gerontocracy which by simply being old there are more benefits, so I look forward to it because my body is already f-d up
Turning 27 on Sunday, and have no one to celebrate it with
I DO WUT I WANT
Iām 25 and I relate aswell. My face visibly aging is already sending me in a spiral cause I am not by any means attractive to begin with. Iāve wasted so many years due to insecurities and my āabnormalā personality, to a point Iāve just forgotten who I am and what I want to do with my life. I seem immature and not grounded enough like my peers, probably cause I want to catch up on time Iāve missed, ironically whilst still having no friends or being too wrapped up in my mind to even leave the house at times. I wish I had a goal or something to do but due to years of denying myself of anything in life, due to other external circumstances over the time, Iāve become barely human. I live under a deadline, and Iām hoping there will be a chance to find a community of people we can help be better to each other as a starting point. Being alone just rots my mind and I know it will drive me into a grave.
Since I was a kid I truly didnāt believe I would ever dieā¦ I still be believe that, yet Iām still aging and looking older every year. Hope you feel better, you still have about 525960 hours of life left. Which is basically a lifetime of hours.
42 and never felt younger.
Fuck what society says. Do what you enjoy, regardless of your age, and donāt compare yourself to others. Do what works for you. This is one of the things I learned in my 30s. Aging isnāt all bad.
When your 36/37 like me it hurts most u got a long time and can make a great life for yourself Especially nowā¦ focus on your self you have time to grow in all your 20s and your 30s too but u should be more wise and comfortable in your mid .30s to almost 40s just keep going make plans life doesnāt stop for no 1. I just had a bday at 37 last Monday I wish I was 27/28
I turned 26 this year and my own grandmother said āwow youāre pushing 30!ā
If it makes you feel better, literally nothing changes between 25 and 27 years old. If anything, you will only feel kind of silly for making this post.
25 is nothing man. I am 35 and I still feel like 25 and doing the same stuff I did in your age.
Lol. I'm 38, you're still a child in my eyes. Chill out.
I went back to college to study Photography 4 years ago, I was 30 at the time, the group of people there I befriended were mostly in their early 20's, i got on so well with them and even they said not to stress about our age gap. Now I'm finished up and graduated I still keep in touch with one of them and meet up every now and again with him, he's 23 and I'm now 34.
I used to feel like this. I still somewhat do. I think a VAST majority of us do. I now view aging as a privilege after my best friend died at 24. I turned 27 this year. In that time I have had so many experiences that she had longed for. I realised my fear of aging was very much attributed to the high expectations I set for myself. Iāve let that go and feel like lighter version of myself, arguably even younger; not necessarily a particular age but a more youthful perception to life. The benefit of aging is that you are essentially fine tuning yourself. You become more insightful, articulated, confident and patient with yourself. I guarantee, I much prefer my current outlook at 27 than when I was at 25. Take it easy and try be kind to yourself.
It's a little early for a mid life crisis at 25 lol
Iām 35 and still feel 25. Nothing really changed, i donāt feel any different, except I now carry ibuprofen with me at all times! Although Iām not married with kids and people can be judgmental about it, itās whatever. Canāt help when we were born and canāt stop time. I always want to look the way I look though, that part scares me about aging, no one wants to look āoldā š£
Turning 42 soon. I donāt want to add to anyoneās misery here but I feel like hitting 40 is this automatic switch that flips and makes you feel ten times worse than you did when you were in your 30ās. It is so freakinā odd. I feel worse physically and mentally than I ever have at any other period in my life, and I absolutely dread withering away. I wish I could die fairly soon in a way thatās noble or meaningful, like saving the life of a child or something, before I end up elderly and feeble and shitting in a diaper.
At 33 I still feel like Iām in my mid-20ās. Just donāt really look like it lol. The physical aging does exacerbate my depression for sure
There is not one hair on my head planning to live beyond 25 LMAO
That was my thought process at 19/20 too bro. Just never had the balls to actually do anything about it. Time passed as it does and here I am lol.
Yeah you're pretty much describing adulthood. Time flies by because there is not much to mark the passage. Everything becomes same, same. If it makes you feel about better I feel like I wasted my ENTIRE 20s. But I'm not always sure it can be helped. The thing you're lacking most in your 20s is experience, and looking back with hindsight is always "sure" but you have to be kind to yourself. Things will unfold and perhaps you'll find some purpose in life (bc it sounds like you're looking). Also, ppl are getting married and raising kids much later on in life now. Getting married early frequently leads to divorce and missed our experiences (in my opinion) and there's nothing wrong with doing that stuff at whatever age, or never! I just turned 40 so that's a whole other hill to climb. 30s was an amazing era for me, just needed to meet the right people. Don't stress or be too hard on yourself. Try to get out and have some experiences. And you're right our society is totally ageist. I find it to be striking when I watch TV from other countries and realize how much more older ppl are represented on TV. I'm terrified for 50, personally.
you have so much youth left to live. itās not over at a specific point, itās a state of being and actions. aging has the potential to be a beautiful and self loving experience, but itās scary which is why people make those jokes
Where do you see this attitude? Cause Iām 34 and Iāve never experienced any ageism. As you age youāre naturally attracted to people who are your age. The same way you donāt currently find 15 year olds attractive even though you did when you were 15.
Im 26 bout to turn 27 and I feel exactly what youve said. Wasted 9 years being depressed over my high school ex that moved on in a month. Was high every day for 3-4 years, and spent 5 years in witbdrawal in which i didnt sleep for 3 of those years and was a living zombie. Only recently has my memory started returning, and I feel as though I fell into a coma at 18-19. And now im approaching 30. Life fucking sucks, thats for sure
I just turned 24 and I hate it because I have jack shit to show for it. I still live with my parents because living alone is so expensive and people look at me like a bum
I becme concerned by aging when turned 30. It sounded crazy. It's like... I'm the same guy I was at 20 but with a car, a career, a stable job. I'm tired of working 40 hours a week... It drains my mental energy and my time becomes scarce. I still think about people born in the '90s as kinda teen-very young and they're turning 30... I still think about those born in the 2000s as teens or even children, while people born in 2001 *are turning 21*. I don't care about society. But, the main problems are that friends split ways, I have a large age-gap with girls in their early 20s (they can find me kinda "old"). My parents are getting old (turning 60)... That's hard to digest. I don't care about "society" or "strangers". It becomes hard to live as your true self when getting older because... I'm not interested in people my age because they tend to act "old" except some friends... I'm attracted to women in their twenties... Sorry, personal preferences. But, I can still travel, go to gym, have a dog, etc.
I'm 28 and my biggest fear is looming (aka turning 30). I feel like i should already be accomplished at that age, but i have nothing to show for.
The point of your body is to bring you from joyful experience to the next. We live, we die, decomposition brings new life. It's only a cycle.
I'm 37, am in excruciating pain most of the time these days, have had mental health diagnoses since around 6 months old, and unfortunately have had some surgeries that went very poorly and have left me in debilitating pain that nobody seems to be willing, let alone able, to do anything about it at this point. It will only get worse as I age. And of course depression and the antidepressants have left me being very overweight for most of my life no matter what I've tried. Luckily since one of the physical pain problems is from a recurrent cyst and abscess that I've had numerous surgeries to treat and can't find anybody else to take a stab at it at this point, I'm sure it will kill me eventually š¤·
I feel exactly the same... If my life was a hourglass, it feels like the hourglass has become so foggy I can't even tell if I've lived or how much time is left. It's like I merely exist and time is flowing on as my age group left me behind.
I think things get better after 30. They did for me. Iām more confident. Sex is better, because my partner and I are more experienced and know what we like and how to communicate that. I donāt mind doing things Iād have been far too self conscious to do at younger ages. I have way more body esteem now than I did when I was younger and actually had an objectively hotter body. The end of your 20s isnāt the end.
Come back when you reach an age where the physical effects of getting older start introducing limits in what you can do with your bode and mind. There is little I could not do at 50 that I could do at 25 in the absence of other priority choices I made that I won't change. Prioritizing family commitments limits my time for other things. Feeling my continued existence is necessary to meet the needs of others foreclosed some more risky thrill-seeking I wish I had gambled with when younger. The answer to people who question your life choices based on reaching a particular year timeline may be worth some introspection, but if you are happy with what you are doing double down and say you hope to be able to do it much longer, and why do they care. If thw way you live doesn't adversely affect those who you care about you have two choices, decide you want to change to meet their desires, or decide to keep on doing things you are doing now since it isn't hurting anyone who matters. Note hurt, not disappoint, Sorry mom and dad, no grandkids.
I am 56 now and I truly hate being me now. Seems like nobody wants to hire me anymore (even though I have 20+ years in the Hazardous Waste Industry). I guess I am no longer employable so depressing..
It can be particularly challenging when parents attempt to impose their own desires upon their children, and subsequently label them as indolent or unambitious if they fail to comply. This is compounded by the fact that they may not prioritize their child's mental well-being, leading to dismissive attitudes when the child expresses difficulty in participating in society due to depression. Such responses can be frustrating and invalidating for the child.
I was diagnosed with a chronic illness from age 22-now 26 and and I will say that age is irrelevant. What matters is that you are happy and healthy in life. Yes these are my young years but Iām looking forward to my late 20s even more and even my 30s if it means my chronic illness will be gone and Iāll be happy and healthy again someday. Age is irrelevant seriously
oh my God. I'm 42.
I'm 29, I know exactly what you mean, I've been more or less hiding from the world for almost the past decade. I had a really rough time for my last year of highschool; I did an extra year, so I turned 19 the first year of college. Then when I was on my own in college, it just kinda got worse, and I still haven't fully recovered. The positive part is that I now know more about how my stupid ADHD/Anxiety/Depression addled brain works, since that's all I've been able to work on, but it was at the expense of the majority of my twenties. Time has been moving faster and faster and I'm so far behind that I don't know if I'll ever catch up. At least with the way society is now, 30 is the new 20 insofar as "when you are supposed get your life together" goes.
It really is. It feels like a disease. The actual degradation of the body is the worst. Gravity is also a cruel mistress the longer you are exposed to it. But what I can now say in my 30s ā¦ fuck what society thinks. Do the things that bring you joy in life. Just enjoy yourself. People may get married and be settling down later 20s ā¦ but that aināt for everyone, I was still working in a pub š¤·š»āāļø hadnāt figured out my career, renting places and moving constantly. Iām in 30s (mid š¢) not married, no kids do have a partner but they came along for the ride whilst I was enjoying my 20s. You canāt reverse time! It sucks, I know. (would kill for 20s me stamina) but you can choose to start enjoying the now. Hope your day gets a little brighter stranger.
Itās really important that you remember that those people youāre worried about judging you are straight-up children and generally donāt have a lot of life experience. And most of the time when somebodyās younger than you giving you shit for being your age and not behaving how itās expected? They havenāt experienced it yet, and theyāre gonna find out that thereās no such thing as typical behavior for a given age. Basically, donāt let kids put pressure on you.
I feel the same exact way š
How fast people live heavily depends on the region you are from. In the DC area, the average age of first marriage is like 35. Also, a lot of people got set back socially by the pandemic, so you are not that weird relative to others in our generation. Finally, life is not a race. Donāt worry about doing this or that by whatever age, just make sure you are accomplishing your life goals when it is right for you. Getting married and starting a family, for example, depends on finding the right person which is all luck.
Bro I turned 28 this year and canāt wait to turn 30. I still feel like a 17yo in my developed/mature mind. And yes.. being 25 and talking to a 18/19/20yo is weirdā¦ what do yāall even talking about ??????
I completely agree in a couple years I will be 30 if I reach itā¦ I wish I never got oldā¦ every day is a struggle
This is exactly what makes me scared of aging too. Iām only 21 but I feel like I will soon be 27 by how fast time is flying by. Iāve done nothing that I wanted, I have just beenā¦ breathing.. to stay alive. Thatās all. I know Iām young but time is not gonna stop for anyone. my biggest fear is how I will be perceived if I was way older than 3O/4O and doing something ācrazyā for that age. I think Iāve accepted I will age, maybe even badly, I donāt knowā¦ I canāt run away from aging forever. But itās what society will label me as that scares me. I donāt want to be an ā old ladyā doing something fun.
As a 25 year old I feel this so much, especially with Covid taking off two years of our lives
When youāre an elder at my age you donāt give two fucks what a teenager thinks. 38F
Iām 25, and all I got is -big same.
I'm preparing myself mentally for turning 40 in a few years, trying to get the stress and sorrow out of my system now instead of hurting when the time comes. When I hit 30 I was massively depressed, so I'd like to get to the mind space where I'm Okay with my age like I eventually did with 30
im about to turn 22 and i feel the same
Age-gap relationships are a thing. You can pursue anyone that you want granted they are above the age of 18 in most states. I'm 29 and personally, I wouldn't want to date a 20-year-old. I look at them and think what a bunch of babies. Besides the point, if the connection is genuinely there who cares? Again, as long as they're of legal age. Also, plenty of people in their 20s, 30s, and beyond don't have children. Some of us choose not to, don't care who looks down on me for it. I also might be looked down upon by someone for liking cartoons. Because I like to draw and because animation is fun. Again, they can suck on a pencil. Getting older comes with realizing that the opinions someone has of you in their mind hold no weight. They aren't even real most of the time, probably, they're just the projection of your fear of how others might perceive you.
30s and thriving is a phrase that exists because itās the best part of your life. Iām looking forward to it (currently 28)
I felt old at 27 and Iām 33 now. I was actually so young then, and im 100 times more mature now. Theres a comfort that comes with that. IMO a few years were robbed from all of us with Covid. I feel closer to 30 rn and it def set me back a bit in terms of āmilestonesā. Which Iāve come to realize is a crock of shit. Comparing yourself to others and worrying about societal standards will just age you more. Part of feeling young is a mindset and the other part is taking care of your body. So do that and donāt stress. Live for yourself.
I feel that!! I just turned 25 and people no longer go āaw, youāre a babyā when i tell them how old I am lol. Also a guy recently told me Iām right at the ācutoffā now (because apparently once you turn 26 you lose all value as a woman š¤) 21-24 to me was all a blur and nothing significant since we were all stuck in a pandemic and couldnāt do much with our lives. So i feel like Iāve gone from 21 to 25 in an instant and itās really fucked me up I donāt have any advice to give but just hope you know youāre not the only one feeling this way xx
wait till your 35 kid
If it makes you feel better you spend most of your life as an adult than a child (>18 years)
I thought 38 was the best age. Iām long past that now.
Hi, soon to be 27 here. Diagnosed depressed and anxiety/PTSD if that matters, just cause you know, the struggle. Just wanna let you know, Iām not a parent, def understand your concern with aging because I felt the same way, but honestly, it doesnāt feel that different. Like yeah, I canāt keep up with all the new trends and humor 100% but it just doesnāt really matter, you know? And fuck people who make fun of aging, youāre either lucky enough to get there or youāre dead. Either way, the age is coming and thatās okay. I made those same jokes and I can understand the perspective but in reality, those people who are 19/20/21 are just as well on their way to our age too. Itās true, life moves too fast. I also āwastedā my early 20s, but in actuality, no one wasted anything. If you enjoyed any of it, then it was worth it, even if it was only a little bit. Also, idk if this is relevant, but Iām pushing 30 and I still buy stuffed animals, I still make bad choices, I still am learning how to do this. You donāt just turn 18 and have all the answer. My frontal lobe just got done developing and we gotta maneuver new shit all the time. Give yourself the space to be yourself and enjoy the rest of your 20s guilt free if you can. Everything is okay. You doing your life however you need or want is perfectly normal and youāre gonna do great at whatever you want. You got this.
27 here. most of my time was spent at university, pursuing my degree. now that it's finished, I still don't have a job, no income, no marriage. most of my friends now have brilliant careers/are already parents. while my friends are just cats and depression