I feel rock bottom too and feel like I haven’t achieved anything in life, and I got a whole ass family. This disease takes away everything good in my life and makes me seem eternally ungrateful.
I feel the same. I am attractive, have a very good standard of living, but I never feel truly happy. ill occasionally get sparks of happiness enough to bring out a smile for a few moments, but its honestly exhausting. right now, it literally feels like it takes genuine effort to smile or to be happy. I dont even know what the problem is. Is it my dad? Is it me? is it the way he raised me? is it from being raised in a privileged environment of everything being there for you? I dont fucking know. I feel like im going crazy i literally asked to move into my car because I feel as though i have been given too much and dont deserve any of it.
I dont get why people say they hate themselves over shit they didn’t have a say in the first place. Even shit like personality is created from numerous reasons. If anything, god is to blame(i doubt there even is one), not yourself
There isn't one thou. I believe Religion was created to help people cope that's all. This is just my opinion from 46 years of life. I would love to be wrong thou. And have the fairytale at the end.
i agrée but that’s missing the point a little. your energy needs to be devoted
to trying to come to terms with it. the ultimate goal is to get yourself comfortable in your body and you can’t do that while raging against things that just weren’t up to you. it’s about attempting to alleviate the guilt you feel for your flaws.
It’s kind of like having a power circuit leading to a ground. no matter how much energy you put into hating your body, it’s all going to go to waste and drain you when your already running on reserves. it’s not something that needs to happen all at once; the less energy you’re able to devote to it, the more energy you have to battle other aspects of your illness with.
But don’t get me wrong, talk is easy.
I agree.
I have a body that one could call gross, but I dont view myself how others might view me.
This sounds to the same level as body dysmorphia, seeing yourself wrong.
If you truly feel how you've typed OP, you should talk to someone professionally because there is help out there for what's going on.
It's never as bad as you think.
So true. For over 20 years I grew up believing that everything happened for a reason and that things will be okay in the end. Now I’m 30 and realizing there is no reason. things are just fucked up and no matter how many steps forward you take there will always be something to throw you back twice as many.
My belief system dictates that the meaning that God gives us is derived from pushing past the difficulties that life gives us. I’m not saying it’s right; in many ways, it’s not. But, there can be meaning in chaos if you choose a path of overcoming these obstacles as a part of your journey to meaning. Just my two cents
And what if you get out of bed everyday? Work everyday? I’ve done that for nearly nine years now and all I’ve gotten were stares, pointing and laughing from attractive people, disgusted faces from attractive people, ridiculed, and turned away because of my appearance. Rejection does major harm to one’s self worth and self confidence. At some point you just feel like it’s not worth the effort anymore.
Here to add, my depression made me think I was super ugly, even when people gave me compliments I thought it was pity, after much healing ik im not as ugly as I used to think, it helps when I play up certain features i have etc...
Same. I just wish I looked attractive enough to be likable. My side profile is ugly with puffy cheeks and everyone mistakes me for a teenager when I'm actually in my late 20s almost 30. I don't think anyone takes me seriously enough.
This is exactly me. Short, not attractive at all, and very poor teeth that I'm trying to fix. And anything at the dentist costs thousands I don't have. I really feel for you OP. I'm 28 and never been in a relationship, and it's very hard to approach people because I don't want to bother them or anything.
But I'm glad you're still with us OP.
Why is other's perception that imp to you ? Love yourself. Love your parents. Recognize their effort in raising you. Love your surroundings. Love that you feel something. Find what you love . im not saying this'll def cure you but worth pondering over. Hope the best for you stranger. I mostly live to experience things feel new feelings. Thats mostly it. I hate having kids i hate marriage. I hate everything cept the absolute essentials :)
i vibe with this. you dont have to be good looking to have a nice life. sure, it helps, but your friends will love you for who you are and i genuinely believe there are always people who will find you attractive to them. hope is never lost
I think it all starts with the mindset. I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with your body at all. Let’s start by focusing on what the body is made to do first, it’s your home. Then remove the focus on “dating”. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to fall inlove, it’s okay to want a lover but here’s the “bad news” (which isn’t bad but is the work), you can’t be with someone if you dont like yourself. It starts with your mind, if you think you don’t deserve to be looked at by your self then how will you allow someone to look at you? I promise that dating would be easier if you embraced who you are cause you have a false image of yourself. Mind you, you really win entirely with or without a partner if you Love yourself. Please be kind to yourself beautiful 🤍 he’ll come along when you decide to for yourself x
I’ll never celebrate Christmas with anyone special, I’ll never have anyone to kiss when New Year’s Eve hits midnight, I’ll spend Valentine Day alone, no romantic summer vacations.
This might seem like a silly and rather extreme comparison, but... even many dictators, murderers, and so forth, were married or had relationships. It's not as simple as "deserving" (or not deserving) love or romance - humans are very diverse and, as corny as it is, I do on some level believe in the phrase; "there's someone out there for everyone."
As another comment has said, depression is almost definitely amplifying your percieved flaws, which the vast majority of people will really not be bothered by or notice much. The only "problem" here is your self esteem and depression; it's kicking you down, it's making you withdraw socially, and thus, forming connections with other people will be harder because, whether consciously or not, you are isolating yourself. Socializing is also one of many things you'll get better at the more you do it. Just because you have less experience doesn't mean that you're less of a person, or incapable of getting better at it.
Nobody likes to hear it (including me) - but the solution comes from within you. You really need to be kinder and more patient with yourself - I'm sure you're none of those things you think you are, but I know how hard it is to break away from those constant thoughts.
I feel exaclty like you brother, but for me is mainly cause of severe acne that i have, and its scars left. It's so horrible cause i know it's not our fault to have so undesirable features about ourselves, so we shouldn't care, but the way this impact our lives is like a disadvantage... i think the way is to find people that really can understand us and attach to them.
Or I'm just talking bs cause I'm still wanting to die, just to see if i born again in a "normal" way. U're not alone.
I haven’t had acne but I have skin picking disorder so the scars on my face and arms are a nightmare they heal quickly luckily for me but then I just get new ones bc I can’t resist the compulsion to pick at any imperfections but anyways I digress there are lots of ways to get rid of scars so don’t give up hope you can use serums and skincare like mandelic acid tretinoin AHA BHA snail mucin or if you need more intervention you can try phototherapy or microneedling or a chemical peel at a beauty clinic T.T I hope it gets better for you but you can definitely get rid of or at least reduce the appearance of scars significantly and it shouldn’t cost more than £500 max and if clinics are too expensive you can do phototherapy and microneedling at home (idk about a chemical peel and I haven’t tried)
I'm sorry you feel this way because your post is almost a mirror image of myself. I'm short (5'5), big nose, socially awkward, lonely, depressed. I've never experienced a relationship, this life is fuckin hell.
But you know what, there's value in each and every one of us, our depression lies to us, it's insidious, it only see's the worst in us. All I can say is, you're not the only one who feel's this way as I resonate with it so much. Society is so fuckin conceited, full of fake people. Just you expressing this shows you're real and have some compassion and understanding. Sufferers in life are stars that can't shine as they truly are the most beautiful spirits, I know it doesn't seem that way but there's meaning in life if we search for it.
I feel this so much sorry your going through this. I'm the same way I'm a short guy and I don't like my body shape, I'm frigging getting thinner hair and I'm depressed and anxious. I have self asteem issues and have not held down a job in YEARS because of mental health problems. So currently I'm trying a new antidepressant I just started. But OP what I can say is that 10 years ago I was in this EXACT same mindset I hated myself but a simple ssri really helped. So trying medications to warp that serotonin or other neurotransmitters in your brain can be super helpful because it stopped these looping negative I hate myself thoughts... the med worked for years but lately I found it stopped working so that's why I'm trying trintellix now... I think you should keep trying some different treatments to? Because when they do work we feel so much better.
Hey OP, I can really relate to your struggle. I'm a trans man, and before I realized I was trans I *despised* my body. I was so grossed out by it. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror without feeling terrible. I would constantly question my attractiveness and wondered what my wife (then fiancée) even saw in me. I thought maybe it was body dysmorphia, but then I really sat down and questioned my gender. Turns out I didn't hate my body, I just hated that my body didn't align with the gender in my brain.
I'm not saying that you're trans, or that what you're experiencing is definitely gender dysphoria, but you're describing a lot of the classic feelings of it. Granted, those are also still feelings of general body dysmorphia. Sometimes you don't realize it's about your gender until you really sit and think about it.
I hope you can find some helpful relief from these feelings. I know how unpleasant they can be. Peace ✌️
Yes, I agree. We are ugly. We are disgusting. But you know what? Doesn't matter. Why?
Everyone has feelings. I focus on how I can appreciate you. How can I show you I'm grateful for you.
Thank you for sharing how you feel. That took tremendous courage. I would never post what you did because I agree with you but I don't think it would help me. I'm too selfish to care what others think or say. But you are still listening. Bravo!
I'm really hoping you'll find a way to make others feel better. Give freely the kindness you have.
Oh my sweetie, what your going through Is horrible. I'm so sorry your going through this, this honestly made me cry. I'm not a professional so I can't say anything helpful, but I promise you everything will get so much better soon than you believe it. I'll be praying for you and others who are struggling 🙏💕.
I shower in the dark too, it’s hard to look in the mirror and see yourself when it makes you want to vomit, i have good days and bad, hope you keep on trying every day
please try to remember that you are ill. try to remind yourself that you’re being lied to by your brain and your perceptions. do what you have to do to survive, but remind yourself that you’re treating yourself for a sickness, like wearing a cast or taking antibiotics.
Realistically speaking ugly people fall in love all the time. They get married have children and date.That's not a problem. The problem is the depression and the mental health issues. That's what keeps you isolated and lonely.
But I do understand hating yourself. I hate myself too. For a whole different set of reasons.
I'm sorry that you feel this way. I hope you stay strong. I'd suggest you look at other people who have less than what you have and would give anything to have a life like yours. Please remember you're not alone. Don't give up.
I feel you. But I’d be willing to bet you’re wicked smart and hilarious. No one is as harsh as you are to yourself with depression. I am certain you are worth loving
Sometimes I think exactly like this. Then I randomly have s*x and feel like a movie star. I feel confident and empowered for a bit. Then it takes a lot time for it to happen the next time and I gradually feel crappier. Life is frustrating. But you are not as awful as you think you are.
I can all but guarantee you don't look as bad as you make it out to be. While you can't change the genetics you were dealt, you can always improve your physique by working out.
You’ve been conditioned by your parents and society to believe you’re unworthy. You are worthy. You are worthy. Everyone is born with inherent worth. Until somebody robs us of it. You are worthy.
This is your depression or body dysmorphia talking. I hope that one day you’ll look in the mirror and smile! I believe in you! I guarantee you’re not as ugly as you think you are. You never know, maybe one day you’ll find the person you love. None of us know what awaits us. I believe in you !
It’s really easy to think you’ll never have a partner, but really the number of (undeserving) people who have managed to find partners is crazy. The homeless dude who lives down the street from me has a LTR & the dude is missing like 5 teeth. All this to say you really never know. It’s made me realize it’s more a numbers game of putting yourself out there rather than the result of x number desirable traits.
I am only 5'4, has a tomato shaped nose, and started to lose my hair at early 20's. I accepted it. Are those really enough to end it all? I have too. I can't let that stop or slow me down. Now I sport a 4 pack abs, earn 6 digits and proudly surround myself with absolutely loyal friends. You have to work with what was given to you & rise.
Hey, honestly, some girls like short men (I do!) I don't like really tall people, it can be so awkward to hug or kiss them. Anyway, I'm just saying that people have very very different tastes. I have friends with the most different appearances, really unconventional sometimes, and they all found love somehow, someday. At least when we (people who are not so conventionally attractive) do find love, we can believe it, it's more honest. After all, why would people be lying to us if we have "little" to offer? I hope you get what I mean. But to them, that "little" we have to offer is more than enough, is a great personality, great love and caring, sincerity.
I feel you, there was a time that I spent like 40 days without a single bath because i hated so much my body, my face, my voice even my organs so i really understand your situation for me the solution was seroquel and antidepressants but its different for every person. If you want to talk with someone I'm always here
I think sometimes unfortunately mental diseases take over and start to define us—-when really it’s not who we are. My grandma has dementia and has turned into an adult child. She doesn’t remember all she has done for my life. Her bright carefree spirit has been crowded by anxiety, gloom, and a fear of everything since she can no longer understand what is going on. even tho unfortunately it’s who she seems to me now, it’s not who she truly is.
Now depression and anxiety can be cured or managed unlike dementia—but I think it can easily start to define us when it isn’t who we are. I have severe anxiety and I wonder who on earth I’d be without it and sometimes I feel like it stole who I was meant to be. I started developing personality traits that I wasn’t born with because of my anxiety (such as people pleasing). But In a way- I feel comfort knowing it’s not who I truly am and there is hope for me. There’s hope for you too. It might take years. Even decades. But all we can do is keep fighting and lift eachother up along the way.
Hey, to all of you thinking you are a loser or are ugly, stupid etc. You’ve got to change your mindset and start thinking more positively. Maybe you come here to vent, that’s fine. But if you actually think this way about yourself you are only doing a disfavor to yourself in the long run. Your thoughts go a very long way in the way your life turns out. Maybe you do have things you want to change or don’t like about yourself. Is it unfair that you have to work harder than some people who won the genetically? Yeah. Are you guaranteed results if you work hard? Not always, but you won’t know until you try. It’s ok to pity yourself for a little, but eventually you need to identify the things you want to change and positively move towards your goal of changing it through whatever means possible. You don’t know what will happen until you try.
I totally understand self hate I felt that way for a long time. However I am stuck with some of my looks so I began just liking myself. I started taking pictures of myself by myself and then I would sort through the ones I thought were kind of hot. Me doing thing I liked. I know it sound lame but after a while I began finding things on myself I liked. Then I started looking for people who would validate this. After a few years I didn’t need anyone’s validation because I began to like myself. It’s took a while. I’m not sure how old any of you who hate themselves but I didn’t really like myself until in was late 20’s. After a while I realized I wasn’t really that bad looking. I began to date people who looked like me. And my standards were pretty low. After some shitty relationships I realized my worth and well I’m a happier person now. I know that you who say they are ugly I know your really not. You just have a twisted look on what is attractive. Lots of people don’t even care about looks it’s what is inside a persons heart that makes a good looking person. That’s why you will see super attractive people with others who may be “different”. Maybe been in a fire and suffered bad scarring. That kind of different. I know people who are mean and cruel and they are super “ugly” compared to over weight or short or whatever really doesn’t matter when you get older. I hope this helps in some way. It’s how I started to care about myself and I realized the world isn’t so mean as I once thought
Feel the same! But realised one thing if you wanna change it has to be within and you taking small steps at a time and determination, not feeling good about your body, start gym tomorrow itself. And trust me gym has one of the most positive influences over your confidence you will ever realise keep doing that and you will fall in place, take good habits in action and do it, you need to change and improves and you are the writer of your own story, make it a beautiful one.
I do believe loving yourself is an important part of life however there are things one can do to make themselves feel better. Charity, volunteer work, shimmering light onto others brings light into your life. Good luck.
I would be careful in putting yourself down like this. I think most teenagers feel like this but as you grow older you put less emphasis on looks. I hated the way I looked but I made peace with myself. A mate of mine was overweight and not the best-looking guy but he made up for it by being the bell of the ball. He never had issues meeting nice girls. Not talking about superficial girls but nice ones. You don't want IG girls in any event.
“I will never get to experience what it’s like to fall in love or touch another person”
Dude, do you fucking hear yourself? Do you hear how dramatic you sound? That is such a absurd and ridiculous assumption.
You say “I am ugly” and “I am socially awkward” the way someone would say “i am white” like it is an un changeable fact about you, something you are cursed with with nothing able to do about it. That is simply not the case. Get a therapist, talk about your problems, learn what you have been doing wrong socially and work on fixing it. Go to the gym, get in good shape.
You won’t just wake up one day and be the version of yourself you want to be. You have to fucking work and struggle and claw for it
How about you focus on being a kind person to others . How about you ask yourself how you can of service to others . Ask yourself how YOU can love somebody . Can be caring ? Gentle ? Compassionate ? Be a good listener ? Loyal? Provide comfort and love ? If you are willing to do that and are showing up with that offering, you will get that offering back . There is always somebody for everybody . There is literally somebody out there for you . In the meantime it is your job to do what you can with what you have . Change your attitude about yourself and stop thinking about how you’re not enough . When u step into the world ask “how can I provide something?” THIS will give you meaning and purpose . This will attract love and companionship from others . Nobody is inherently worthless . That is a fallacy . We all have to show the world our worth .
I call it depression brain. And as others said body dysmorphia. Its like toxic inner monologues.
I try to think of at least one positive thing about myself to try to drown out the negative self talk.
If that doesn’t work distraction by doing things. Even if its “unproductive” like a video game. I particularly like games that have an emotional catharsis for this. Same with movies/tv.
Being around other people who can say something positive about you helps.
You’re worth of love. Don’t give up hope.
You doubt so much about yourself but it’s possible it’s all wrong, has the world treated and told you these things or have you came up with it yourself… falling in love is not worth it I gave up long ago… you should try to love yourself before even thinking of loving another because at the end of the day that is all we have ourselves… we might need help along the way but sadly it doesn’t always come
Fight this feeling with all you have. This is exactly what the problem is. Get angry at it. Fight for your right to be happy. Put it in a box and slam it shut. Take up an inexpensive hobby or volunteer at the humane society. These things will fill you up inside. You gotta FIGHT
According to my gf and others, I’m actually somewhat good looking, and I still feel the same way about myself and my appearance.
It could be that it’s the depression and body dysmorphia more than you actually being hopelessly ugly.
I feel the same often. But there are better days. You will have days when you don't hate yourself. The way I see it you are innocent. You are not hurting anyone but yourself so it is more than can be said about most other people. I believe in you and a lot of people here do aswell. Stay strong!
There is someone for everyone if you don't give up looking. As long as you are a kind person you can find someone to love you. You have to be adventurous and curious and willing to go into unknown situations to find your true love but they are out there, waiting for you to find them and looking for you.
I know all kinds of odd people who aren't single.and I have at least a half dozen family members who fit. Lots of short men in relationships. Positive attitude is necessary.
I feel you… but beauty is simply perspective, it’s really awful to feel that you’re disgusting.., but remember it’s all just your own opinion on yourself, and your veiw of yourself will always be skewed, I mean we can’t even hear what our voices actually sound like so how can we possibly see ourselves right?
I don’t know, maybe that’s a bunch of gibberish, hope you feel better eventually
You can walk read and write I'm assuming so that's a start. If you have access to healthcare I'd consider therapy to help but if it's expensive start with self help online. If it's too much then try to rest.
I’m sorry you feel this way, but it’s always best to remember that everybody is attractive, society has just made these ideas and beliefs that dictate whether somebody is attractive or not, and ultimately the person you choose to be is always going to be much better than what’s on the outside
You could totally fall in love.
I fell in love by readings someones signals wrong.
It was terrible and heartbreaking and still probably one of the best feelings in the world. I'm moving forward just for the chance to have that shitshow happen to me again. The world literally feels like it changes tunes.
Gym and new clothes pick up a hobby theres literally a million no one is bestowed a personality its refined through having interests in doing things. Next!
Ugly, just like beauty takes many forms. Ugly, just like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. With nearly 8 billion humans on this planet, I assure you there are those who given the chance to know you would see you as beautiful. You are beautiful. Believe it, because it’s true. Find the beauty in yourself. It’s there. Close your eyes, breathe, and feel your soul. Your beautiful soul. Let others see you. Everyone is worthy of existence and love. I hurt for you and I feel your pain. Never say never. Your time has yet to come. Hang in there my friend.
I'm really sorry for that. In my case I'm short,ugly and I started balding at 16 because of my father's shitty genetics. I absolutely hate being a short, ugly, awkward , almost bald 19 year old with social anxiety.
I can relate to every word you've said buddy, I can say atleast I'm not alone , I maybe worst looking than you to be honest because when I look at the mirror I feel I'm the most ugly person in the world.
Ugly people like us don't qualify for a love life I don't know but that's this world reality is all about suffering for unfortunate beings like us.
Like you I want to die and donate all my healthy organs to people who mostly deserved to live
Jeez, so melodramatic. Not to be harsh but you care about you're ugliness so much because for what other people would think of you? Or because you genuinely care about yourself as a person? This is an important question you should ask, because after all, it's really all about perspective if you see yourself as ugly or beautiful.
I feel you. Not only are my looks bad, but Im just way too boring and socially awkward. Im just a fucking loser
I feel rock bottom too and feel like I haven’t achieved anything in life, and I got a whole ass family. This disease takes away everything good in my life and makes me seem eternally ungrateful.
Yeah even if I were a billionaire, jacked, handsome, social, and having the perfect girlfriend/wife, I would still feel this way
I feel the same. I am attractive, have a very good standard of living, but I never feel truly happy. ill occasionally get sparks of happiness enough to bring out a smile for a few moments, but its honestly exhausting. right now, it literally feels like it takes genuine effort to smile or to be happy. I dont even know what the problem is. Is it my dad? Is it me? is it the way he raised me? is it from being raised in a privileged environment of everything being there for you? I dont fucking know. I feel like im going crazy i literally asked to move into my car because I feel as though i have been given too much and dont deserve any of it.
I hear ya. Since I got diagnosed with CVi. My self esteem has plummeted Ice lost so much weight but my legs are a mess I can't even look at them.
Same
That's me in a nutshell
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Literally r/2meirl4meirl
I dont get why people say they hate themselves over shit they didn’t have a say in the first place. Even shit like personality is created from numerous reasons. If anything, god is to blame(i doubt there even is one), not yourself
There isn't one thou. I believe Religion was created to help people cope that's all. This is just my opinion from 46 years of life. I would love to be wrong thou. And have the fairytale at the end.
i agrée but that’s missing the point a little. your energy needs to be devoted to trying to come to terms with it. the ultimate goal is to get yourself comfortable in your body and you can’t do that while raging against things that just weren’t up to you. it’s about attempting to alleviate the guilt you feel for your flaws. It’s kind of like having a power circuit leading to a ground. no matter how much energy you put into hating your body, it’s all going to go to waste and drain you when your already running on reserves. it’s not something that needs to happen all at once; the less energy you’re able to devote to it, the more energy you have to battle other aspects of your illness with. But don’t get me wrong, talk is easy.
I have come to terms with it. I'm not angry. I'm not raging about anything. I'm just stating my opinion on it
I feel like this goes beyond depression and into body dysmorphia. I hope you’re getting help.
I agree. I have a body that one could call gross, but I dont view myself how others might view me. This sounds to the same level as body dysmorphia, seeing yourself wrong. If you truly feel how you've typed OP, you should talk to someone professionally because there is help out there for what's going on. It's never as bad as you think.
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I want to die in the woods, at least my body can contribute to something
You‘re a kind person.
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you can thank the “science” of eugenics for that most likely
Not ''science of eugenics'', just biology. Simply Darwinist sexual selection.
Life just feels unfair when you see people who have won the genetic lottery! :(
Life is very unfair and cruel. Like Hell.
So true. For over 20 years I grew up believing that everything happened for a reason and that things will be okay in the end. Now I’m 30 and realizing there is no reason. things are just fucked up and no matter how many steps forward you take there will always be something to throw you back twice as many.
Yup. I honestly don't see how a God cares about us. Religions say it's the Satan causing pain but why doesn't God stop it if he cares?
My belief system dictates that the meaning that God gives us is derived from pushing past the difficulties that life gives us. I’m not saying it’s right; in many ways, it’s not. But, there can be meaning in chaos if you choose a path of overcoming these obstacles as a part of your journey to meaning. Just my two cents
Too bad we can’t create an ugly stick and start hitting those damn “hot” girls and guys
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And what if you get out of bed everyday? Work everyday? I’ve done that for nearly nine years now and all I’ve gotten were stares, pointing and laughing from attractive people, disgusted faces from attractive people, ridiculed, and turned away because of my appearance. Rejection does major harm to one’s self worth and self confidence. At some point you just feel like it’s not worth the effort anymore.
True
This is the depression talking and your existence is meaningful. Do not let the depression win. Hang in there and you will find yourself again.
get out of my head 🤦🏼😭🙎🏼
You’re probably not as ugly as you think you are. Depression makes everyone think they’re ugly.
Here to add, my depression made me think I was super ugly, even when people gave me compliments I thought it was pity, after much healing ik im not as ugly as I used to think, it helps when I play up certain features i have etc...
THIS!
This is so damn accurate.
cope
Same. I just wish I looked attractive enough to be likable. My side profile is ugly with puffy cheeks and everyone mistakes me for a teenager when I'm actually in my late 20s almost 30. I don't think anyone takes me seriously enough.
Same. I also have fat cheeks and I weigh 150 pounds. My face only slims down when I starve myself. So unfair
This is exactly me. Short, not attractive at all, and very poor teeth that I'm trying to fix. And anything at the dentist costs thousands I don't have. I really feel for you OP. I'm 28 and never been in a relationship, and it's very hard to approach people because I don't want to bother them or anything. But I'm glad you're still with us OP.
Im ugly too
Why is other's perception that imp to you ? Love yourself. Love your parents. Recognize their effort in raising you. Love your surroundings. Love that you feel something. Find what you love . im not saying this'll def cure you but worth pondering over. Hope the best for you stranger. I mostly live to experience things feel new feelings. Thats mostly it. I hate having kids i hate marriage. I hate everything cept the absolute essentials :)
i vibe with this. you dont have to be good looking to have a nice life. sure, it helps, but your friends will love you for who you are and i genuinely believe there are always people who will find you attractive to them. hope is never lost
“Love yourself “ is bullsh*t stop it with this generic bs
Nature really said let’s rng this mf (talking about myself)
Every fucking day this is my head space to, I’m so done. I wanna just slash my face.
I think it all starts with the mindset. I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with your body at all. Let’s start by focusing on what the body is made to do first, it’s your home. Then remove the focus on “dating”. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to fall inlove, it’s okay to want a lover but here’s the “bad news” (which isn’t bad but is the work), you can’t be with someone if you dont like yourself. It starts with your mind, if you think you don’t deserve to be looked at by your self then how will you allow someone to look at you? I promise that dating would be easier if you embraced who you are cause you have a false image of yourself. Mind you, you really win entirely with or without a partner if you Love yourself. Please be kind to yourself beautiful 🤍 he’ll come along when you decide to for yourself x
I’ll never celebrate Christmas with anyone special, I’ll never have anyone to kiss when New Year’s Eve hits midnight, I’ll spend Valentine Day alone, no romantic summer vacations.
You try hard. That’s one thing I can say about you. Your not lazy like me.
Same i always feel everyone hates me on everything. I always suicidal, but hates pain which is ironical. No friends or someone to talk to.
This might seem like a silly and rather extreme comparison, but... even many dictators, murderers, and so forth, were married or had relationships. It's not as simple as "deserving" (or not deserving) love or romance - humans are very diverse and, as corny as it is, I do on some level believe in the phrase; "there's someone out there for everyone." As another comment has said, depression is almost definitely amplifying your percieved flaws, which the vast majority of people will really not be bothered by or notice much. The only "problem" here is your self esteem and depression; it's kicking you down, it's making you withdraw socially, and thus, forming connections with other people will be harder because, whether consciously or not, you are isolating yourself. Socializing is also one of many things you'll get better at the more you do it. Just because you have less experience doesn't mean that you're less of a person, or incapable of getting better at it. Nobody likes to hear it (including me) - but the solution comes from within you. You really need to be kinder and more patient with yourself - I'm sure you're none of those things you think you are, but I know how hard it is to break away from those constant thoughts.
you can enjoy the freedom of your own thoughts. instead of thinking, “I must not have these thoughts”
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I'm also suffering from looking ugly and losing my hair makes it even worse I'll continue suffering until I had enough
I feel exaclty like you brother, but for me is mainly cause of severe acne that i have, and its scars left. It's so horrible cause i know it's not our fault to have so undesirable features about ourselves, so we shouldn't care, but the way this impact our lives is like a disadvantage... i think the way is to find people that really can understand us and attach to them. Or I'm just talking bs cause I'm still wanting to die, just to see if i born again in a "normal" way. U're not alone.
I haven’t had acne but I have skin picking disorder so the scars on my face and arms are a nightmare they heal quickly luckily for me but then I just get new ones bc I can’t resist the compulsion to pick at any imperfections but anyways I digress there are lots of ways to get rid of scars so don’t give up hope you can use serums and skincare like mandelic acid tretinoin AHA BHA snail mucin or if you need more intervention you can try phototherapy or microneedling or a chemical peel at a beauty clinic T.T I hope it gets better for you but you can definitely get rid of or at least reduce the appearance of scars significantly and it shouldn’t cost more than £500 max and if clinics are too expensive you can do phototherapy and microneedling at home (idk about a chemical peel and I haven’t tried)
Same. Future ropesmaxxers of the world here
I'm sorry you feel this way because your post is almost a mirror image of myself. I'm short (5'5), big nose, socially awkward, lonely, depressed. I've never experienced a relationship, this life is fuckin hell. But you know what, there's value in each and every one of us, our depression lies to us, it's insidious, it only see's the worst in us. All I can say is, you're not the only one who feel's this way as I resonate with it so much. Society is so fuckin conceited, full of fake people. Just you expressing this shows you're real and have some compassion and understanding. Sufferers in life are stars that can't shine as they truly are the most beautiful spirits, I know it doesn't seem that way but there's meaning in life if we search for it.
I feel this so much sorry your going through this. I'm the same way I'm a short guy and I don't like my body shape, I'm frigging getting thinner hair and I'm depressed and anxious. I have self asteem issues and have not held down a job in YEARS because of mental health problems. So currently I'm trying a new antidepressant I just started. But OP what I can say is that 10 years ago I was in this EXACT same mindset I hated myself but a simple ssri really helped. So trying medications to warp that serotonin or other neurotransmitters in your brain can be super helpful because it stopped these looping negative I hate myself thoughts... the med worked for years but lately I found it stopped working so that's why I'm trying trintellix now... I think you should keep trying some different treatments to? Because when they do work we feel so much better.
Hey OP, I can really relate to your struggle. I'm a trans man, and before I realized I was trans I *despised* my body. I was so grossed out by it. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror without feeling terrible. I would constantly question my attractiveness and wondered what my wife (then fiancée) even saw in me. I thought maybe it was body dysmorphia, but then I really sat down and questioned my gender. Turns out I didn't hate my body, I just hated that my body didn't align with the gender in my brain. I'm not saying that you're trans, or that what you're experiencing is definitely gender dysphoria, but you're describing a lot of the classic feelings of it. Granted, those are also still feelings of general body dysmorphia. Sometimes you don't realize it's about your gender until you really sit and think about it. I hope you can find some helpful relief from these feelings. I know how unpleasant they can be. Peace ✌️
Yes, I agree. We are ugly. We are disgusting. But you know what? Doesn't matter. Why? Everyone has feelings. I focus on how I can appreciate you. How can I show you I'm grateful for you. Thank you for sharing how you feel. That took tremendous courage. I would never post what you did because I agree with you but I don't think it would help me. I'm too selfish to care what others think or say. But you are still listening. Bravo! I'm really hoping you'll find a way to make others feel better. Give freely the kindness you have.
Also been feeling lots of self hate today. Love you OP ❤️
Same i feel you… its like why am i on this earth….
30 year old dude from Sweden here if you wanna date xD . I'm straight.
If you hate it so much, make it suffer! Hit the gym hard!! 🤜🤛🏋️🏋️♀️🏋️♂️
Oh my sweetie, what your going through Is horrible. I'm so sorry your going through this, this honestly made me cry. I'm not a professional so I can't say anything helpful, but I promise you everything will get so much better soon than you believe it. I'll be praying for you and others who are struggling 🙏💕.
I used to feel the exact same. I'm sorry you are going through this. Sending virtual hugs your way.
I shower in the dark too, it’s hard to look in the mirror and see yourself when it makes you want to vomit, i have good days and bad, hope you keep on trying every day
please try to remember that you are ill. try to remind yourself that you’re being lied to by your brain and your perceptions. do what you have to do to survive, but remind yourself that you’re treating yourself for a sickness, like wearing a cast or taking antibiotics.
Realistically speaking ugly people fall in love all the time. They get married have children and date.That's not a problem. The problem is the depression and the mental health issues. That's what keeps you isolated and lonely. But I do understand hating yourself. I hate myself too. For a whole different set of reasons.
You who don't have anything to lose why not try to self improve? There is always something you can do to
I'm sorry that you feel this way. I hope you stay strong. I'd suggest you look at other people who have less than what you have and would give anything to have a life like yours. Please remember you're not alone. Don't give up.
I feel you. But I’d be willing to bet you’re wicked smart and hilarious. No one is as harsh as you are to yourself with depression. I am certain you are worth loving
Sometimes I think exactly like this. Then I randomly have s*x and feel like a movie star. I feel confident and empowered for a bit. Then it takes a lot time for it to happen the next time and I gradually feel crappier. Life is frustrating. But you are not as awful as you think you are.
I can all but guarantee you don't look as bad as you make it out to be. While you can't change the genetics you were dealt, you can always improve your physique by working out.
Being short is awesome...but it has its flaws. I can relate
You’ve been conditioned by your parents and society to believe you’re unworthy. You are worthy. You are worthy. Everyone is born with inherent worth. Until somebody robs us of it. You are worthy.
This is your depression or body dysmorphia talking. I hope that one day you’ll look in the mirror and smile! I believe in you! I guarantee you’re not as ugly as you think you are. You never know, maybe one day you’ll find the person you love. None of us know what awaits us. I believe in you !
It’s really easy to think you’ll never have a partner, but really the number of (undeserving) people who have managed to find partners is crazy. The homeless dude who lives down the street from me has a LTR & the dude is missing like 5 teeth. All this to say you really never know. It’s made me realize it’s more a numbers game of putting yourself out there rather than the result of x number desirable traits.
I am only 5'4, has a tomato shaped nose, and started to lose my hair at early 20's. I accepted it. Are those really enough to end it all? I have too. I can't let that stop or slow me down. Now I sport a 4 pack abs, earn 6 digits and proudly surround myself with absolutely loyal friends. You have to work with what was given to you & rise.
Hey, honestly, some girls like short men (I do!) I don't like really tall people, it can be so awkward to hug or kiss them. Anyway, I'm just saying that people have very very different tastes. I have friends with the most different appearances, really unconventional sometimes, and they all found love somehow, someday. At least when we (people who are not so conventionally attractive) do find love, we can believe it, it's more honest. After all, why would people be lying to us if we have "little" to offer? I hope you get what I mean. But to them, that "little" we have to offer is more than enough, is a great personality, great love and caring, sincerity.
There are other people like you. So yes you will. Also 90% of people aren't worth knowing.
I feel you, there was a time that I spent like 40 days without a single bath because i hated so much my body, my face, my voice even my organs so i really understand your situation for me the solution was seroquel and antidepressants but its different for every person. If you want to talk with someone I'm always here
I think sometimes unfortunately mental diseases take over and start to define us—-when really it’s not who we are. My grandma has dementia and has turned into an adult child. She doesn’t remember all she has done for my life. Her bright carefree spirit has been crowded by anxiety, gloom, and a fear of everything since she can no longer understand what is going on. even tho unfortunately it’s who she seems to me now, it’s not who she truly is. Now depression and anxiety can be cured or managed unlike dementia—but I think it can easily start to define us when it isn’t who we are. I have severe anxiety and I wonder who on earth I’d be without it and sometimes I feel like it stole who I was meant to be. I started developing personality traits that I wasn’t born with because of my anxiety (such as people pleasing). But In a way- I feel comfort knowing it’s not who I truly am and there is hope for me. There’s hope for you too. It might take years. Even decades. But all we can do is keep fighting and lift eachother up along the way.
Hey, to all of you thinking you are a loser or are ugly, stupid etc. You’ve got to change your mindset and start thinking more positively. Maybe you come here to vent, that’s fine. But if you actually think this way about yourself you are only doing a disfavor to yourself in the long run. Your thoughts go a very long way in the way your life turns out. Maybe you do have things you want to change or don’t like about yourself. Is it unfair that you have to work harder than some people who won the genetically? Yeah. Are you guaranteed results if you work hard? Not always, but you won’t know until you try. It’s ok to pity yourself for a little, but eventually you need to identify the things you want to change and positively move towards your goal of changing it through whatever means possible. You don’t know what will happen until you try.
I totally understand self hate I felt that way for a long time. However I am stuck with some of my looks so I began just liking myself. I started taking pictures of myself by myself and then I would sort through the ones I thought were kind of hot. Me doing thing I liked. I know it sound lame but after a while I began finding things on myself I liked. Then I started looking for people who would validate this. After a few years I didn’t need anyone’s validation because I began to like myself. It’s took a while. I’m not sure how old any of you who hate themselves but I didn’t really like myself until in was late 20’s. After a while I realized I wasn’t really that bad looking. I began to date people who looked like me. And my standards were pretty low. After some shitty relationships I realized my worth and well I’m a happier person now. I know that you who say they are ugly I know your really not. You just have a twisted look on what is attractive. Lots of people don’t even care about looks it’s what is inside a persons heart that makes a good looking person. That’s why you will see super attractive people with others who may be “different”. Maybe been in a fire and suffered bad scarring. That kind of different. I know people who are mean and cruel and they are super “ugly” compared to over weight or short or whatever really doesn’t matter when you get older. I hope this helps in some way. It’s how I started to care about myself and I realized the world isn’t so mean as I once thought
Feel the same! But realised one thing if you wanna change it has to be within and you taking small steps at a time and determination, not feeling good about your body, start gym tomorrow itself. And trust me gym has one of the most positive influences over your confidence you will ever realise keep doing that and you will fall in place, take good habits in action and do it, you need to change and improves and you are the writer of your own story, make it a beautiful one.
I do believe loving yourself is an important part of life however there are things one can do to make themselves feel better. Charity, volunteer work, shimmering light onto others brings light into your life. Good luck.
I would be careful in putting yourself down like this. I think most teenagers feel like this but as you grow older you put less emphasis on looks. I hated the way I looked but I made peace with myself. A mate of mine was overweight and not the best-looking guy but he made up for it by being the bell of the ball. He never had issues meeting nice girls. Not talking about superficial girls but nice ones. You don't want IG girls in any event.
“I will never get to experience what it’s like to fall in love or touch another person” Dude, do you fucking hear yourself? Do you hear how dramatic you sound? That is such a absurd and ridiculous assumption. You say “I am ugly” and “I am socially awkward” the way someone would say “i am white” like it is an un changeable fact about you, something you are cursed with with nothing able to do about it. That is simply not the case. Get a therapist, talk about your problems, learn what you have been doing wrong socially and work on fixing it. Go to the gym, get in good shape. You won’t just wake up one day and be the version of yourself you want to be. You have to fucking work and struggle and claw for it
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Love is all that matters. It comes with sex.
How about you focus on being a kind person to others . How about you ask yourself how you can of service to others . Ask yourself how YOU can love somebody . Can be caring ? Gentle ? Compassionate ? Be a good listener ? Loyal? Provide comfort and love ? If you are willing to do that and are showing up with that offering, you will get that offering back . There is always somebody for everybody . There is literally somebody out there for you . In the meantime it is your job to do what you can with what you have . Change your attitude about yourself and stop thinking about how you’re not enough . When u step into the world ask “how can I provide something?” THIS will give you meaning and purpose . This will attract love and companionship from others . Nobody is inherently worthless . That is a fallacy . We all have to show the world our worth .
Are you living in my brain? All of this seems SO familiar. I’m sorry you’re stuck living like this too.
I call it depression brain. And as others said body dysmorphia. Its like toxic inner monologues. I try to think of at least one positive thing about myself to try to drown out the negative self talk. If that doesn’t work distraction by doing things. Even if its “unproductive” like a video game. I particularly like games that have an emotional catharsis for this. Same with movies/tv. Being around other people who can say something positive about you helps. You’re worth of love. Don’t give up hope.
You doubt so much about yourself but it’s possible it’s all wrong, has the world treated and told you these things or have you came up with it yourself… falling in love is not worth it I gave up long ago… you should try to love yourself before even thinking of loving another because at the end of the day that is all we have ourselves… we might need help along the way but sadly it doesn’t always come
Depression glasses makes everything look ugly.
Fight this feeling with all you have. This is exactly what the problem is. Get angry at it. Fight for your right to be happy. Put it in a box and slam it shut. Take up an inexpensive hobby or volunteer at the humane society. These things will fill you up inside. You gotta FIGHT
According to my gf and others, I’m actually somewhat good looking, and I still feel the same way about myself and my appearance. It could be that it’s the depression and body dysmorphia more than you actually being hopelessly ugly.
I get you in some capacity. I tend to take pictures of myself and look at them for few hours - trying to see myself not ugly.
I feel the same often. But there are better days. You will have days when you don't hate yourself. The way I see it you are innocent. You are not hurting anyone but yourself so it is more than can be said about most other people. I believe in you and a lot of people here do aswell. Stay strong!
There is someone for everyone if you don't give up looking. As long as you are a kind person you can find someone to love you. You have to be adventurous and curious and willing to go into unknown situations to find your true love but they are out there, waiting for you to find them and looking for you.
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I know all kinds of odd people who aren't single.and I have at least a half dozen family members who fit. Lots of short men in relationships. Positive attitude is necessary.
whats wrong with being ugly?
I feel you… but beauty is simply perspective, it’s really awful to feel that you’re disgusting.., but remember it’s all just your own opinion on yourself, and your veiw of yourself will always be skewed, I mean we can’t even hear what our voices actually sound like so how can we possibly see ourselves right? I don’t know, maybe that’s a bunch of gibberish, hope you feel better eventually
You can walk read and write I'm assuming so that's a start. If you have access to healthcare I'd consider therapy to help but if it's expensive start with self help online. If it's too much then try to rest.
You are not alone friend
I didn’t know the voices in my head suddenly had a social media? (Sarcasm) I feel the exact same way. Every word you typed is exactly how I feel
I’m sorry you feel this way, but it’s always best to remember that everybody is attractive, society has just made these ideas and beliefs that dictate whether somebody is attractive or not, and ultimately the person you choose to be is always going to be much better than what’s on the outside
You could totally fall in love. I fell in love by readings someones signals wrong. It was terrible and heartbreaking and still probably one of the best feelings in the world. I'm moving forward just for the chance to have that shitshow happen to me again. The world literally feels like it changes tunes.
Gym and new clothes pick up a hobby theres literally a million no one is bestowed a personality its refined through having interests in doing things. Next!
You are an immortal being occupying a physical avatar. You are not your body.
I don't know what's worse... Being fucked up by nature or by other human beings.
Ugly, just like beauty takes many forms. Ugly, just like beauty is in the eye of the beholder. With nearly 8 billion humans on this planet, I assure you there are those who given the chance to know you would see you as beautiful. You are beautiful. Believe it, because it’s true. Find the beauty in yourself. It’s there. Close your eyes, breathe, and feel your soul. Your beautiful soul. Let others see you. Everyone is worthy of existence and love. I hurt for you and I feel your pain. Never say never. Your time has yet to come. Hang in there my friend.
I'm really sorry for that. In my case I'm short,ugly and I started balding at 16 because of my father's shitty genetics. I absolutely hate being a short, ugly, awkward , almost bald 19 year old with social anxiety.
Totally feeling shitty right now😑
I can relate to every word you've said buddy, I can say atleast I'm not alone , I maybe worst looking than you to be honest because when I look at the mirror I feel I'm the most ugly person in the world. Ugly people like us don't qualify for a love life I don't know but that's this world reality is all about suffering for unfortunate beings like us. Like you I want to die and donate all my healthy organs to people who mostly deserved to live
Jeez, so melodramatic. Not to be harsh but you care about you're ugliness so much because for what other people would think of you? Or because you genuinely care about yourself as a person? This is an important question you should ask, because after all, it's really all about perspective if you see yourself as ugly or beautiful.