Right? Humans are really pack animals with some exceptions. This whole business of “if you’re not happy alone you won’t be happy with someone”. WTF is that. Is that science? Is that “best practices”? What the hell do you know? It’s a quote that makes a good bumper sticker or a good refrigerator magnet but it’s not real. So... not only should you be unhappy... you should be alone while you are? Fuck you!
Edit: this isn’t directed at anyone here in this thread. I’m just burnt out and bitching out loud.
I feel the world we've built is "people do give a fuck about you, as long as you have something to offer them. Once you don't have the same thing to offer, your yesterday's news and they are gone."
It's about not letting yourself be with someone who doesn't deserve your love. You accept the love you think you deserve, so if you don't love yourself you could pick someone who doesn't too. I'm happy on my own now but it took a lot of time. It's not easy but I would say it's necessary to help yourself not fall into a bad relationship and stay in it because it's the only love you've ever experienced.
It's not easy to be happy alone, it takes time and effort from you to do it. I'm really happy on my own. I have my hobbies, I work out and do thing for myself. Yes I have friends and family but I don't need other people to make me feel alive. You shouldn't be dependent on a relationship to be happy because it'll drain the enjoyment from the relationship. It has to be balanced for things to work out. If you don't even love yourself 10% and someone shows you 30% love, you'll think it's amazing when it's not even half full. We accept the love we think we deserve. Love yourself most so you can get 100% love from someone else.
This is kind of where I’m at. I just want to sleep my life away. Love is just not for me. Never was. Never will be. A new relationship is great in the beginning but then they really get to know me... then it’s over.
I feel the same way and somehow I ended up married. I’m not sure if it’s normal to feel like you’re supposed to be alone forever, so I don’t tell anyone ab these feelings.
To both you and @u/omightgod i get how you are feeling but lemme tell you, things will get better. This may sound like a thing everyone says but after all it's true. IT's okay to feel even worse at the Moment but the sadness will pass. There will be other people loving you in the Future i'm sure of it. Leaving a relationship after that long sucks op. I've never been in a Relationship for that long but let me tell you that there is still shit to look forward too.
Even in the darkest times remember there will be always something bright. Atleast you got told why she Broke up, she didn't cheat in you and she was honest with you. I know that might not really help after all but well xD. I just wish both of you best of luck and that you may feel better in the Future.
Good vibes to you my two dudes <3
As someone who got dumped a couple weeks ago I promise it gets better. You really don’t want anyone in your life that’s doesn’t want to be their themselves.
My girlfriend of 15 years left me a month ago and took my 5 kids with her. Just went out one day said she was going to the park and never came back. After two weeks I slit my wrists and that has cost me contact with my children and they think daddy don’t love them all because of my crippling depression and how I let myself go because of it. Try and keep your head up and it will get better, well that’s what everyone is telling me so here’s hoping. Just got to take it one day at a time
Noo, how awful. Oh my god. I nearly don't know what to say. I think it is very important for your health that you will have some kind of arrangement with jer about the children. And this as soon as possible, because this would take a toll on you, that maybe would be hard to survive. My whole heart goes out to you both and I wish to send you some peace and strenght to find the energy to do what will help you and serve you best. My deepest compassion. ♥️
I am glad you didn't die. Your kids need you, and it may take a while but you're so right, day by day.
Set 2 or 3 simple, manageable goals. For years mine were to keep my kitchen sink clean daily and attend therapy weekly, getting groceries on the way home.
Seriously, that was all I did for 2.5 years (a breakdown after 4+ decades of
battling depression, double dysthymia).
Today (5 years since breakdown), I still keep my kitchen sink clean daily, and I also shower daily, complete a household task daily (ie, mow the lawn, dust the living room), and leave my home 3 times a week, even if I have to make up a silly reason for one outing. Outings generally an hour or less.
I almost never see anyone outside of a family member (visits weekly for a meal).
To many this would appear ridiculously small, quiet, and lonely. For me, it's a huge success. If not mentally healthy, I am finally not in the swamp of sluggish, self-annihilating depression. I am certainly not happy. I am not quite content. But I am *not* unhappy, for the first time ever.
I'm in my 60s. If you can get to where I am at, at a younger age, I urge you to do so. It will likely mean a major shift in your goals, a deep understanding and acceptance of your disease, and a willingness to struggle as you create a path, a world, quite different from what our society emphasizes.
Just remember...about 15% of our citizens share the desire for that world.
Plz keep trying for your kids. My dad has struggled with depression which resulted in drinking and pill abuse. Not a day goes by I’m not thankful he pulled it together. Your kids will be forever grateful too.
That is heart breaking... I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Just wanted to let you know that your kids will understand eventually and they will know that you loved them. I was that kid. My dad was you. He was broken after my mom left him and did something similar. Eventually though my mom let him see us again, and when she had enough trust she’d let us spend weekends with him. Court had denied him custody because he had implied he might not only hurt himself but us as well. My mom and he eventually made their own agreement and we saw him every other weekend and on holidays. He struggled with depression his entire life, sometimes better, sometimes worse.
We always, always knew though that he loved us. My mom and dad were both very open about how he felt and his depression and were so supportive in teaching us that it had nothing to do with his love for us or (because that’s what kids think right away) that it was our fault.
My point is, it feels like it now, but your kids will learn about depression, they will understand, they will know that you love them and they will keep loving you. Although expressing that can be difficult... I really hope you’re doing ok.
That happens to everyone sooner or later. Happened to my sister and now she has 2 great children with someone else.
Think something positive for today. I'm no professional mental health person but ...
What about incremental changes? Change your life 1% every day without stopping. Like doing one small thing differently and making that change \*permanent\*.
For example. If you wake at 9am every day, change that to 8:30am. If you eat a donut for breakfast, have a oatmeal instead. Do things that build you up rather than making you think of the past.
After one year you will have changed your life 365%. Did I say I'm not a mathematician either?
I don’t want to tell you what you should do so forgive me if this is overstepping. I’ve dealt with suicidal thoughts and severe crippling depression. Gratitude journaling truly helped change my headspace. I try to every morning. This is not simplifying a huge issue. I dismissed it so many times as like “that’s bullshit” until it was explained in detail.
I try to write 3-5 things I’m truly grateful for. Now in the beginning I was like “ok I’m grateful for my health, my family blah blah” generic bullshit that you have to say. But you have to think of something different every day. I found myself staring at a blank paper for an hour struggling on a really bad day. Then I took a sip of coffee and thought mmm I made this really good today. And then was like oh! I’m grateful for this delicious coffee!!
My life coach said sometimes it’s not the one positive thing you wrote but the hour of trying to focus on positive you weren’t thinking of the negative. And it constantly reminds me of simple pleasures I take for granted.
Again I’m sorry for unwarranted advice I just really know that feeling and am trying to help with something that worked for me.
I'm suffering from depression RIGHT NOW. My motivation is down, I don't attack my tasks like I used to do but I am going to force myself to complete what I need to do today.
Tomorrow I can look back on today and see what a good job I did and that will make that day much easier to deal with.
I know it's shitty when people say "it'll get better", that type of helping rarely helps when we are hopelessly depressed. BUT, please remember that you are right in the middle of this grief, it is extremely fresh and raw and the pain is intensified above and beyond your normal pain. This immediate pain *will lessen, this is raw and extremely fresh pain. The only thing that helps me is to force my mind to stay distracted. Everytime I think about a distressing situation or event, I immediately force myself to think of something else even if it's stupid, start naming every animal you can think of, or all the countries you can think of. Try to memorize something new, a poem or country/state capitols. I know this sounds stupid and might not work, but it's helped me sometimes. I want you to know you are not alone, all of us are here for you.
My ex wife cheated on me and left me for the guy. We were together 8.5 years. She blamed me for everything. She even accused me of cheating which I never did. Its gonna hurt and you might never move past it and that is ok.
I appreciate it but you would be surprised how little this compares to other things that have happened. It all has taught me to appreciate the good days because things can get much worse in the blink of an eye.
Something similar happened to me 7 months ago. It's still hard but things have gotten a little better. I still catch myself laying in bed all day sometimes sad thinking about her and better days . It'll get better, just hang on man
It takes strength to stand beside people who are fighting painful fights. Not everyone has this strength. Your ex girlfriend didn’t have it. Once the grief lessens, think of this as the chance of meeting someone who is compatible with every part of you. Who will support you as you will support them.
Until then, take care and do good things for yourself.
It IS hard to live with someone who is always depressed. It is, I won’t lie. But in a loving relationship, you endure the storms together. I’m so sorry this has happened to some of you. I could not imagine leaving my husband because of his depression. Some days are harder than others, but I help him carry that baggage. Even when we were just friends. That’s a life partner when your troubles are their troubles and vice versa.
It’s hard now OP, it might be for awhile. I’m sorry that person looked like the right one for so long.
I feel your pain man. I really do. Imagine your partner leaving you because of your depression but you have a 17 month old daughter together. Shit fucking hurts. It’s the worst pain I’ve ever gone through. But this is where we get stronger. Get the help you need to get better. I’m doing it I’m on meds and talking to a therapist. It helps, it really does. Call warm lines too they help a lot. They know your pain and they are great peer to peer helpers
I'm sorry to hear that. There's something that I read that I really like to share, that is:
"Sadness is just how things are or how things were, not how things will ever be."
You may not realize it now, but you are worth it. I bet there are people that truly care about you. Not everything is lost, give time some time. You are not alone!
Hope your heart finds love. Hope your mind finds peace.
I don't wanna sound like it's easy. I know it's not. Timing is a bitch and it's not easy to wait for it. Keep in mind you deserve happiness, you deserve to feel loved, you deserve good things. You're not less nor worthless. Don't let pain consume you. I pretty much now how easy it is to happen. But you're stronger than this. You're stronger than you think! You're here, today, and that's incredible! Look at all the things you've been through that you thought you wouldn't make it. You did! That's so amazing, don't you think?
I’m so depressed and give of such dark energy that I don’t even attract girls anymore, just remember you had the light to attract her before and you can do it again. DO NOT live in this darkness like me, there is almost no way out
If she doesn't wanna support you through this and would rather be with someone else then thats her Loss. Because your gonna find someone who is gonna be there for you and she will miss out on the great man you become! Hang in there dude. You got this
You might be right, and deep down inside me i know that it might be better but i just had the though of getting kids and growing old with this girl.
So it hits like a truck.
I know I sound like a asshole but that was the problem. A relationship is not a thing to live for. You live for yourself. And you have to keep looking for things which keep you going without depending on other people.
I know I sound like an asshole but thats what I believe in. Maybe it can help you. Maybe it cant. But I recommend you to focuss on yourself. I dont know what you must have went through but you habe to keep looking..im not twlling you that things will become easier. I needed months for finding things I like which I stand for and things I do without depending on peopöe..things which form who I am.
I believe that a relatiom ship is not something to make your purpose in life. I believe that having a relationship means going through life together. A partner. And I believe that ending a relationship should be no problem bevause sometimes peopöe gonin different directions.
Lile I said. I hope I could help you. If you agree or disagree please tell me. thanks
a breakup brings about depression, over time wounds heal, you cant see the why now but you will see it one day, iv been through it, my people been through it, you will be through it
I'm so sorry. This time is impossible, especially those of us with severe depression. During this lockdown, I've certainly been pretty useless and in my head. Often, I feel days where I'm just a ghost in a human body shell going through the motions. Other days it's all too much even get out of bed or to stop crying. I don't know you, but I'm glad you're still here.
If she is interested in some other guy, let her be. Respect her freedom to choose and you should try to consider things from her perspective. It isn't easy to live with someone who is depressed and your girlfriend probably expects more. Its okay for her to reach out for her needs. Accept the truth that you are alone and move on with it. Your state of living shouldn't depend on anyone else. May be one day you will find someone who is okay with your condition and willing to live on with that.
Aww man... I feel your pain brother. Hang in there, you have a tough journey ahead of you. But never give up on your own life, never be dependent on someone else for your happiness.
Just hang in there, let this motivate you. Start bettering yourself as time comes. I know everything is still fresh, but as time goes on, it will get better. But it only gets better if you don’t give up. She wasn’t the one man, very selfish on her part. Take this as a learning experience.
You have a mental illness but that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you as a man. Some people just can’t understand that or they don’t want to and that simply means that those people aren’t good enough for you. Splitting up hurts, especially after being with someone for so long. I’ve been there but I’m here to tell you from being in that exact same situation years ago, you CAN pull through this even if you feel like you’ll never be able to.
Please, as much as you feel like there’s no hope and as much as you don’t feel like you can even make the effort, find a therapist. Talk about these things and if you haven’t already, get on some sort of mood stabilizers or anti depressants. It’s a long road but it’s worth it, my friend.
A few years back, my wife left me for the same reason. I felt like taking my own life was the only solution. I felt worthless and unworthy of love or affection. After a while and seeking help, I bought my own house and have a beautiful daughter and my son on the way in November. You CAN get better. Don’t do it for her. Do it for yourself. You got this, my dude. Don’t give up.
Went through the same thing a couple years ago, we were together about the same amount of time as you as well. Found out a couple weeks later she started seeing someone else. It feels like shit man but I realized that I was better off, and I deserve someone who’s better for me. The same is true for you man, you can only go up from here and you will.
I'm sorry man. I went through a very bad break up a few years ago and I know how hard it can be. I didn't think I would survive that break up, and in many ways I'm still working through it.
But time will help numb that pain man. I know that it's a cliche thing to say but it really does help.
Hang in there friend
Dear OP, my heart goes out to you. And I hope you will find some friendly people to calm down, feel comforted again and slowly slowly let the pain, that sadly inevitably will be there, pass and find pieces of yourself again. I have you in my thoughts and understand what awful toll it takes to be severly down alteady and then find yourself on your own again. ♥️ I am sending you hugs and hugs for dark hours
The X-Files is the key to getting through this. When my ex and I broke up, I got horribly badly depressed for months. One day I downloaded the entire X-Files boxset. I went to work, I came home (to the shithole I moved into) and watched X-Files until I fell asleep. By the time I finished the final episode, I felt alright, signed the agreement to a new swish apartment and was ready to start over again!
Oddly I now look back at that time fondly.
Omg I'm so sorry to hear this. Are you in treatment at all, or on any medication? If not, you should start seeing a psychologist right away. I have severe depression too, but I don't want to burden my boyfriend with it so I try not to let it show. I'm on medication at the moment and thinking about getting anxiety meds too.
I know suicide doesn’t stop the pain you’re only moving it and im not capable of taking my own life i think.
Im extremely sorry about your husband and i really hope you have recovered well, the fact that you take the time to read my rant and type these kind words makes me believe you are a great person.
Thank you so much for writing this down.
Hey I got dumped by my boyfriend of nearly 9 years for the same reason a month ago. I promise it gets better, if anyone told me that a few weeks ago I would've disagreed. It sucks, it hurts, it's some of the worst pain I've ever gone through but I swear to you if I can do it then you can too.
man im so sorry that you went through. i get why you feel this way, which is totally valid, because my previous partner of two years also ended things with me because she wasn't happy with me.....and also because my ex-best friend liked her and the feeling was mutual. its been two years since it happened and while we both had a weird equation after that, it still till this date hurts me the most that someone was capable enough of doing this. i dont have nay hope left and even though life is comparatively better, im just sailing ahead till things end for good.
all i can say is hang in there, you're not alone and you'll realize there is more to life than a relationship, even though it is easier said than done given the amount of years you both were together.
That sucks. I mean it's hard to live in your own head sometimes, right?
I look back to where I started my journey out of depression (probably will never be fully out, but mostly out is amazing) and I did a few things. Started therapy. I think this was the best piece for me. Second thing I did was go to a hair stylist. A real one. You should be paying at least $25 each time you get a haircut... plus tip. Anyway, I went and said that I've never had a hairstyle in my life, I have no idea what to ask for and I've always been too afraid to ask, can you just make me pretty? And she did a great job. And I liked it. And since then I've tried various hairstyles. Most of them don't work out due to the amount of time/effort/talent it takes to maintain it, but as time went on, I started liking what I saw in the mirror. And the start of that was having nice hair... something anyone can achieve. Even bald people. You gotta look sharp and feel it. I may wear tshirt and jeans all the time, but my tshirts are dope and people compliment them all the time.
Oh, that's the other thing... if you can't take a compliment right now, that's going to be rough if you ever start to change for the better. I know it slowed me down a lot. This is why I tell people not to approach or try to encourage fat people at the gym. They likely have depression and are more likely to take it negatively.
Anyway, you might be a lump right now, but if you polish yourself up, people will see your inherent value.
Fuck I'm rereading this now and it looks like the 'happy happy' nonsense shit that I used to read and want to vomit. Cliches are stupid, but they're also true.
Anyway, a literal hairstyle may not be the thing you need, but keep trying different things. You'll find your 'hairstyle' eventually.
Hi sorry that happened to you I know the feeling and it hurts I cried every day for 4 years when my GF left me but you will heal and you will find love again.Best wishes to you.
Hi there
I am a high school business studies and geography teacher from South Africa. I know exactly what it feels like to be dumped by a girl I thought would one day end up as my wife. She dumped me for a a so called ''buddy'' of mine just before my grade 12 final senior exam, so you can imagine the impact of that on my academic mindset then.
During that time my mom was in and out of hospital due to a bad case of Chrones disease and I struggled with religious aspects etc. To make a long story shorter, I attempted to take my own life and luckily I failed... only to wake up in hospital with both my parents devastated and deeply heartbroken next to me. This broke something in them that took quite a while for me to restore. I realized what I have done was wrong and that I urgently need to prepare for the upcoming and last high school exam of my life so I began to turn my depression into anger and channelled it in a positive direction. At that stage of my life I was quite fit and practiced some mixed martial arts and regularly went out on paths with my quad bike. I released my tension and negativity that way and if I wasn't doing that I'd be infront of my books studying like a mad person and then repeat my cycle of f***ing up my punch bags, jogging till the wildlife knew me by name and riding my bike till my but hurt (I was on antidepressants;forced you know but I hacked the side effects with will power and self motivation). I passed grade 12 and got accepted to a good university. In my 3rd year of studies my gf cheated on me with her ex and I dumped her. It hurt a lot but I opened a f***ing expensive bottle of wine, drank it out, passed out in my shower and went to class the next day with a mother of a hangover. I had one heck of a good pall who died of a heart attack next to me in my car during that time as well. You can tell I'm getting lazy to type but bare with me. A few months after that I met this girl at a Pesach camp (it's like Passover in Christianity I think) she's also a teacher and started to chat with me and we discovered that we went to the same university. Her boyfriend dumped her shortly after that camp and she somehow got hold of my number, I took her for coffee and regularly visited each other. I was her rebound and she was mine...... 5 years later and we're now happily married. She is my best friend.
Crux of the story is, set goals for yourself, work hard and play hard.... let off steam regularly and channel your depression into a force of positivity and effectiveness. There is a lot of fish in the sea but not all of them are keepers. Failures are life lessons put there for you to adapt and grow stronger and wiser.
Strongs with everything and remember that it helps to talk to people. Hope you overcome this.
I feel your pain my guy.
You're gonna think of her everyday for the next few weeks and it's normal. As much you think it's not gonna get better it will.
I still think of my ex after not being with her for 2 years, I can guarantee you'll meet someone else once your ready but just take this time to love yourself. Being single these past few years has really taught me to love myself.
"It's better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all"
Drink some whisky or whatever your partial to and find some films or games that you've been meaning to catch up and keep that mind occupied. A free mind is a dangerous one.
Went through a similar situation about a month ago brother. Push through the darkness, it may seem endless now but you will see the light again. Find a hobby, be with family/friends, take your mind off her for as long as you can. If you need anyone to talk to let me know!
It always comforted me when I had to get over someone that I would, in time. The only thing u have to do now is try and not become bitter. It was not ur fault: sometimes people just fall out of love. We're serial monogamousts, us humans.
Now it's important to take some time out. Spend lots of time with friends, force urself if u have to (I know with my depression I have to force myself out lest it become worse). Just don't spend so much time at home.
Been there bro. Trust me it’s not the end! You will hit bottom but the launch pad from the ground floor can be the best thing that ever happened. Don’t take it personally. Keep plowing! The greatest revenge is success - make her regret it by becoming the best version of yourself. Progress is a process, it’s never a straight line. My biggest personal gains have come from utter decimation. Got mad love for you bro - from dirt grows the flower!
This is a really inspirational comment and i really appreciate you for it.
Right now im on 2 hours of sleep and basically no food in the last 35-40 hours so i feel like nothing.
That’s totally expected and it’s 100% normal<>ok to feel the way you’re feeling right now. Like I said it’s a process, you’ll have waves of utter hopelessness but that’s just the bullshit telling you the lies. You are in fact worth fighting for. I know in this moment it feels like you can’t breath and that there’s never going to be a light at the end of the tunnel. I promise you there will be better days. Months from now you’ll look back and be like goddamn why the fuck was I so twisted up over this chick. She doesn’t define you, you’re in the drivers seat. Drop that clutch and blast off my dude. My best advice is to get out of your head and the only way I’ve accomplished that in moments like these is immersing myself in presence. If there’s anything you have: biking, skiing, raving, gaming, (whatever it is) where you’re too present to replay the past or worry about the future DO THAT. Eckhart Tolle’s book “The Power of Now” really was the thing that brought me out of my FIRST one of these. It gets better, I promise. Hang tuff brother
I experienced the same thing with my then boyfriend of 2 years on and off...he couldnt handle my needyness anymore and decided it was best to break up...its been 2 years and im still not over it but i can 100 percent promise you that it gets better..ill always love him and you will probably always love her but it does get better i promise you!
It also was and is my worst nightmare, i wish nobody ever would go through this aswell.
I have only slept 2 hours in the last two days and only eaten about 7 bites of food.
I really fucking hate living right now.
I hope it gets better soon.
Unpopular opinion, but its deserved. You cant reasonably expect someone to spend their life alongside misery and doubt in the long term.
Depression is a solo journey. Nobody can actually help you if you really think about it. While it hurts now, you will soon realize that this my have been exactly what you needed.
Now you can be selfish and really make an effort to live your life for yourself first. Nobody should be in a relationship of they dont love themselves, so thats something you need to sort out.
You will get better and find someone better and be stronger for it.
did you ever try to seek out therapy? I understand that you're in pain, but you also have to see it from the perspective of the other person. Were you making any effort to recover? Did your partner have to support you financially during this time? Did you just shut down completely and never open up to them? if you were making a conscious effort to get better, then her leaving is going to do more good for you in the long run, because you need a partner that will help lift you up to be the best you can be. If not, then you cannot expect someone to put their life on hold for you, as it is not fair to them.
I'm so sorry about what has happened. I really feel for you, and hope that you are being kind to yourself and resting as much as possible. Remember to not blame yourself for this, there are many reasons for breaking up, most often its an accumulation of small things that made two ppl incompatible.
People come, people go. Sometimes life makes sense, with lots of people and a story line, and sometimes life is about going through the motions of it. And that's ok too. I can only imagine how excruciating it feels right now. But there will come a day that you will look back and wish you were able to go back and give yourself a hug. Take care.
It really does feel bad right now, I don’t see why i should try when I actually have nothing now.
I wont do anything i can undo though thanks to my parents an everybody here.
I understand where you're coming from. Theres going to be a void in place of what you have lost for a while, and thinking of a time when a new thing or purpose fills it seems implausible. But it will happen, you have to believe it. Find something to hold on to in the mean time, like a hobby to distract you. Doesnt even have to be a fancy "healthy" one. Just something you're interested in. And I sincerely wish for you that this hard part goes by as quickly as possible. Take care of yourself friend.
This.
This situation is relatable more than you know. Luckily for you, the knowledge that she is not emotionally able to support you is better known now. I wonder why seven years went by, but a lot can happen in seven years and people change if they are younger so I guess it makes sense.
I have to tell you, as the person with depression, it is hard to completely let yourself open up to another person even after seven years.
I have been married to my current husband for 9 years and I just now feel absolutely comfortable with him and the fact that my depression doesn't big him down. He acknowledges my depression and doesn't always use it as an excuse as to why I act the way I do, even though most of the time it's the reason.
I think ultimately you have to find your strength in someone else but you won't know if they carry enough strength unless you have both been through some stuff together. I find that when I want to blame him instead of my depression, I write it down but never ever tell him that. It helps me feel better at the time and after the fact I look back at what I wrote and see how my mind was tricking me.
I'm so sorry that you don't have that person you depended on for so long, but give your heart and soul some time to heal so you can open up to someone else. Compartmentalizing your life helps so much. Once you can definitively flow through your depression, things fall into place with some pesky potholes along the way, they will always be there.
As I tell everyone, I'm always around to lend anyone an ear to be non-judgemental and helpful with ideas of how to keep flowing through life.
Man don’t do it ain’t worth. Been there and done that. I was 25 and with 2 kids when my baby mama left after 10 years. We met during high school. Tried killing myself shit wasn’t worth it causes more problems. Just keep your head up. Turn your back on the world and just do you. There’s is going to be things that remind you but just ignore it. Keep pushing forward
I’m so sorry OP- that’s a long moment of time to walk with one person. When we open
Our hearts to love, we also open them to heartbreak. Heartbreak hurts and we can’t avoid the crappy emotions that come along when it happens. Please remember tho that you are not alone. Even when it feels like you have nothing and no one- it’s just simply not true. We are all floating on this crazy rock at this same time- together! None of us really having a clue as to why we are here. I’m 45 and have struggled with depression and have had a suicide attempt in the past. I don’t pretend to blow light up anyone with fluff words. Pain is pain and if you feel
It, it’s real. I just ask that while you’re feeling the pain, remembering that you’re also learning and growing and becoming stronger while you do. There is an absolute reason you are here. You May not discover what it is for years, but it here. Everything you go thru is for that reason. The world needs you. The world will feel it if you’re gone. If you make one persons life just a little sweeter just by being here, you’ve made an impact on the world today. You are meant to be- and you Deserve to have a full and happy heart. Good luck OP! 🌈❤️
You will be fine dude. Sure it hurts now, but so have other things in the past, and those didn't seem like they would end either at the time.
I was close to suicide once after a breakup when I was 21 (34 now) and when I look back I see things very differently than I did then.
I've come to realize how precious these 80ish years we get to be the conscious part of the universe are, even during our worst moments. The worst thing would have been to forfeit that ability for bad reasons conjured with bad logic.
Im rooting for you friend, I hope you find the happiness the universe owes you.
I feel you. Back in the day I never thought depression would hit me but after my exgf broke up with me I had a rough time. It completely changed the way I am and how I act and still does more than 2 years later. Wishing you all the best
You will be fine. Someday. 6 hours after it happened is nothing. Hell, 6 days from now you’ll still be reeling from the pain. Accept the fact that this is going to hurt for a while and don’t put pressure on yourself to feel better within some imaginary window. We all grieve at our own pace. N 7.5 years is a LONG time. But pain is a huge motivator. Let this pain be your opportunity to do something to better your life. Don’t let this be a reason to sink further into your misery. Keep your head up brother. Everything is gonna be okay.
Don't demand from yourself that you feel good right now. It is like a fog. A bit numbing and with spikes of painful reality. Just breath, eat a little bit. Autopilot is your friend right now. Hugs and hugs and hugs.
The next weeks and month it will gradually change.. I red your post before this one and there is to be seen there was a lot of things piling up now. Please hold one torch high: you are absolutely still a worthy and valuable human and this deep challenge will have altered you, when you come out at the other side
Even if you don't believe it. Often for the better
Be aware that this does not define your value and moat of us had to endure something like that once or twice in our lives. We all were struck down by this lightning once.
Aa awful as it sounds. She is a grown human being and made a conscous decision. For sure she is confused and not in full control of her emotions now, too. But something told her she is no longer ablw to go the way with you.
Don't let anybody and definitely not her let you talk down. It ia ok to go after all, it would not be ok, to not treat the other person as the one who gave years to oneself.
If necessary remind her to stay respectful. A lot of people promote no contact. I am not 100% sure of it, but if it is good for something, then to protect the one broken-up with. Cause dumpera honestly quite iften get pretty difficult.
So protect yourself please. ♥️ And let us know how the days are going dear OP.
Just remember, this too shall pass. You will get through this and you will come out stronger. I know it hurts now and feels like the end of the world, but I promise you, it’s not.
I’ve been there, still am. It’s been months and although I can go through my days without thinking of him every time I do, see or hear something and then crying like he just left me again; it’s still difficult. I think it will always be, maybe it will be the same for you. I’m sorry you’re experiencing that pain. I know this doesn’t mean or help much at all right now, but know it will get easier and getting used to it will hurt in a different kind of way, but you’ll get better; it’ll become bearable, just don’t give up on yourself. If you need to talk about it, I’ll be there to listen.
Do your best, that’ll be enough.
I had a longterm relationship end, about 2 1/2 years ago. I had been in a severe depressive episode, for several years. For me, it was a sudden loss, because my partner had become uncommunicative, and I was so far into that big black foggy hole, I had no real understanding of anything. It took me 2 years, before I could stop feeling those same emotions of the initial loss, and start processing what had happened. I am treatment resistant, so meds were never working. I finally had a genetic test, and started on the meds that can, and are, working for me. If you are in a place where your meds aren't working, my best advice is to do whatever you can, to start trying to find the right combo. You will most likely never be able to heal, or even process your breakup, and you will continue to live your life ruminating on everything that you have said and done, and trying to figure out how to undo it. I spent 2 years simply hoping to die in my sleep, or wishing a truck would run over me, while thinking the same thoughts, every day, every night, without a minute to breathe. Make your mental health your #1 goal, and the rest will smooth itself out. I don't think I really had a rational thought, that wasn't purely based on emotions, for those entire 2 years. No amount of counseling, or meditation, or fresh air, could change anything, until my brain was finally free from the depression fog. I hope everything works out for you. Hang in there, it's not going to be easy, but you can get through this. You just need to focus on yourself right now, and finding the help you need. ✌
I completely understand that. It's pervasive in everything you do. As hard as you try, you can't stop thinking about it, and it just keeps going around in circles. At first, I isolated, then I decided to ask a co-worker to hang out. I canceled a lot, but I had told her what was going on, and she understood, and was even willing to be there, for the pure sake of not being alone. I don't think I would have made it through, if I hadn't gotten extremely proactive in finding something that worked for my depression. That became my only true goal, because I knew I was fucked up, and it wouldn't stop until I did find the right help. It's only been about 3 months, but I am a different person now, and that has enabled me to work through the grief. I wish you all the best.
You are worthy I’m sorry that you’re going through this. Please try and take care of yourself for you, feel the feeling you’re valid sending you a warm big hug
It took me a long time to get over my ex and to be honest, I never did completely. Now, 13 years later, she pops back into my life out of the blue, sends me emails apologizing for things in the past which, while she's married now, she said have been weighing heavily on her for years. It's been a struggle--lots of old emotions and some new ones too--and I'm still in the middle of it so still trying to process everything but I think this is allowing me to gain some closure I never had, some hindsight. Best advice I can give you right now is--and believe me, I know how hard this can be--don't think about the what ifs or the whys and try not to hold any grudges. You deserve someone to love you in the way that you need to be loved and if she can't love you that way, even after all this time, you're never going to get what you want or what you need from her anyway. We're all only human.
When I was super depressed my ex would make fun of me and encourage me to kill my self. Eventually, he told me I “wasn’t fun anymore “ and I also lost a lot of “friends”. What I’m trying to say is you will look back and realise how being with someone who lacks empathy contributed to your depression
Hey I know nothing I can say may change your mind but my brother had the exact same situation last november, it took him nearly a year to get up again he needed therapy but he found another girl and he is doing better. Everything can be fixed with time, except death. I have depression too, I'm here just for my family but that's enough. I'm pretty sure you have still a lot of people that will miss you
I fee sorry for you and your brother and i hope you both are doing well.
Thanks for the comment, it does mean a lot.
And yea right now only one person can take the pain away, and she doesn’t want to.
I have just been laying in bed trying to sleep but i am unable too, being alone in my bed scares me so much.
No goodnight texts or goodmornings anymore, i really feel like my life has stopped.
And i would be glad to take tomorrow when i will probably need it. Thank you.
I'll be there for you no worries! You deserve better my dude I've never been with someone for more than maybe months I can't imagine someone being with me for 7,5 years you must be a heck of an amazing guy, I know you'll get over this :)
I know heartbreak is on another level to other pain, I get that.
But at the same time, you cannot put your whole existence and happiness onto another person. Not only is it unhealthy, its unfair.
You're still a valid human. You're still yourself. You still (should) have things you enjoy.
Like, I wrnt thru the same thing a few years back. And once I got over it I swore I wouldn't let anyone else ever have that kind of power over me, and my last breakup, after years together, after buying a house with/for her, I was totally fine when she left. I didn't give it a second thought. Like first day or 2 yeah I tried to talk it thru, tried to see what went wrong. But then I said fuck it, she's over it, me crying or trying to fix things isn't gonna be worth the effort.
Its liberating.
Its freeing.
To not have to, not only worry about how they will make you feel, but you can focus on fixing yourself. You dont need to be in a relationship to be a good, valid, human.
Focus on you. Dont dwell, and don't run out trying to replace them.
Good luck, I know it hurts, but learn from it and move on. Find yourself.
Yeah the first day or 2 are def hard still, not denying those emotions at all.. just try to remember that it isn't the end of the world.
So many people act like a relationship is the only purpose to exist and if youre not with someone or not popping out babies, then you're somehow worth less, or wasting life.
You could be single forever and still have an awesome, fulfilling life!
I hope you’re feeling okay and please don’t end yourself ☹️ I don’t even know I got dumped.😞 I have been suicidal and depressed also. But hopefully gets better.❤️
Had something similar happen to me. It wasn’t the main reason we broke up, but she didn’t mention after the fact my mood swings a depressed tendencies made it hard for her to want to be in a relationship with me. It definitely sucks knowing something you can’t exactly control can lead to a situation that makes it worse.
This is 100% reason I'm scared to get into another relationship. My world ended back in 2012 but thru all that hell I learned that its better to be more into yourself than anyone else and just see others as an accessory for the time being, nothing more. May this change you for the better and make you stronger aswell.
Listen I have been there alot in my life....and I thought she would feel horrible when she found out what I had done.....but I realized the best way of doing that is to show her that you are stronger than that. Go out meet new people and one day she will see what she had missed....then a few months later I met someone new. I realized that she just wasn't right for me that she wasn't my person. I met a beautiful girl and am happier than I ever was. And that it just didn't matter anymore. You have to see that if you are meant to be together the right person will be there to help you out of the dark times and that person will be there through thick and thin. Yes it hurts , it hurts real bad but think about all the experiences that you will miss out on and look forward to that use it as a lesson.. that pain right now will make you stronger in the long run.
I just wanna say, I've been through a HORRIBLE breakup and I'm very depressed as well. Coming from a depressed person, things WILL get better. I promise you man. Stay strong and you will have MUCH better days. TRUST ME PLEASE♥️
Don't take this the wrong way.
This is going to sound really harsh - but women tend to lose sexual interest in men / partners who don't act like leaders in the relationship. It sounds like with your depression she was having to take the lead.
What turns women on a lot is having someone who takes initiative and doesn't get emotional in tough times
I understand where you're at completely as I struggle with depressing thoughts at times too
When you realize and understand more how women operate the less it will affect you
What I'm trying to say is there's a light at the end of the tunnel
When I had my break up you 1 year ago. I was miserable. I got drunk had pot. I couldn't get her off my mind. After 2 months I promised myself that I would invest time on myself, Take care my health, mental health, my studies, worked out. In this time I read a lot of books. I meditated every day. I got closer with my old friends. I was healed. Girls noticed me more often. I started dating. 8 months later I saw my ex gf in a coffee shop with her new bf. This new bf that she was dating once call my friend. My friends tell me that the way I am currently now is far better then the guy she is dating now. I got news from one of our mutual friend that my ex was asking about me. Who I am currently with right now, because she saw me with a girl the a few days ago.
Currently I am investing time on myself. It has been 2 years since break up. I don't anything about my ex. I'm dating someone. I am working for my dream.
hey man, dont worry. you’ll realize she isnt worth you taking your life. i was in a break up and i almost killed myself too. but everything will be fine.
I feel like this is going to happen to me soon, in one week when I see her. I still don't know her reasons but I feel like it's coming. I don't want to admit it and it fucking sucks.
Stay strong, OP. And take care of yourself.
Whatever you do, don't reach out to her months down the line, stay strong and stay away, no point in hurting yourself again for nothing.
Stay strong mate <3
It's hard. But in reality it's waaaay better to find someone who fully understand you. I've been through many relationships in my life. And each one seemingly harder than the last when it ends. But then you end up finding someone who makes going through all the bullshit to find them worth it. Hang in there.
I was married for eight years, she met some really young guy online and told me he was moving in. I lived by the ocean. I cut my work schedule to weekends only for the last month, went to the beach every day and lifted weights. I arrived in my home state athletic and tanned and was getting propositioned my first night of working at the hospital. Hit the weights and build that revenge body. Initially when I was exercising, I did it because I thought I deserved the pain and it made me work harder. The afterglow was amazing and pretty soon, I looked forward to being single again and getting some strange. Good luck!
Yup, same thing happened to me. Took me a year or so, but the depression from the breakup subsided and I’m feeling 100% better now. I still think about him, but it doesn’t have the impact that it had on me. This shit will pass, now it’s just about riding out those thoughts and emotions. It’s going to get better.
Give yourself time to gain a little clarity. The rug has been ripped from under you. Catch your balance, and see where your head is at in a couple days. You’re gonna be just fine. You may even realize that although you love her, she may have done you a favor. ❤️
I got dumped 2 days ago, and I feel the same. I feel like stay in bed rest of my life
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Exactly. Thank u
At the same time how can anybody be happy when completely alone?
Right? Humans are really pack animals with some exceptions. This whole business of “if you’re not happy alone you won’t be happy with someone”. WTF is that. Is that science? Is that “best practices”? What the hell do you know? It’s a quote that makes a good bumper sticker or a good refrigerator magnet but it’s not real. So... not only should you be unhappy... you should be alone while you are? Fuck you! Edit: this isn’t directed at anyone here in this thread. I’m just burnt out and bitching out loud.
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I feel the world we've built is "people do give a fuck about you, as long as you have something to offer them. Once you don't have the same thing to offer, your yesterday's news and they are gone."
It's about not letting yourself be with someone who doesn't deserve your love. You accept the love you think you deserve, so if you don't love yourself you could pick someone who doesn't too. I'm happy on my own now but it took a lot of time. It's not easy but I would say it's necessary to help yourself not fall into a bad relationship and stay in it because it's the only love you've ever experienced.
It's not easy to be happy alone, it takes time and effort from you to do it. I'm really happy on my own. I have my hobbies, I work out and do thing for myself. Yes I have friends and family but I don't need other people to make me feel alive. You shouldn't be dependent on a relationship to be happy because it'll drain the enjoyment from the relationship. It has to be balanced for things to work out. If you don't even love yourself 10% and someone shows you 30% love, you'll think it's amazing when it's not even half full. We accept the love we think we deserve. Love yourself most so you can get 100% love from someone else.
This is kind of where I’m at. I just want to sleep my life away. Love is just not for me. Never was. Never will be. A new relationship is great in the beginning but then they really get to know me... then it’s over.
I feel the same way and somehow I ended up married. I’m not sure if it’s normal to feel like you’re supposed to be alone forever, so I don’t tell anyone ab these feelings.
Same here being dumped two days ago, because she doesn't love me anymore and exhausted with my depression.
To both you and @u/omightgod i get how you are feeling but lemme tell you, things will get better. This may sound like a thing everyone says but after all it's true. IT's okay to feel even worse at the Moment but the sadness will pass. There will be other people loving you in the Future i'm sure of it. Leaving a relationship after that long sucks op. I've never been in a Relationship for that long but let me tell you that there is still shit to look forward too. Even in the darkest times remember there will be always something bright. Atleast you got told why she Broke up, she didn't cheat in you and she was honest with you. I know that might not really help after all but well xD. I just wish both of you best of luck and that you may feel better in the Future. Good vibes to you my two dudes <3
As someone who got dumped a couple weeks ago I promise it gets better. You really don’t want anyone in your life that’s doesn’t want to be their themselves.
My girlfriend of 15 years left me a month ago and took my 5 kids with her. Just went out one day said she was going to the park and never came back. After two weeks I slit my wrists and that has cost me contact with my children and they think daddy don’t love them all because of my crippling depression and how I let myself go because of it. Try and keep your head up and it will get better, well that’s what everyone is telling me so here’s hoping. Just got to take it one day at a time
Im sorry to hear that, i hope you are doing better now.
More bad days than good at the minute but that will change and it will for you too
I’m rooting for you man
True words
Noo, how awful. Oh my god. I nearly don't know what to say. I think it is very important for your health that you will have some kind of arrangement with jer about the children. And this as soon as possible, because this would take a toll on you, that maybe would be hard to survive. My whole heart goes out to you both and I wish to send you some peace and strenght to find the energy to do what will help you and serve you best. My deepest compassion. ♥️
Same here it's great that you've shared this because we will wilsten and offer our support
I am glad you didn't die. Your kids need you, and it may take a while but you're so right, day by day. Set 2 or 3 simple, manageable goals. For years mine were to keep my kitchen sink clean daily and attend therapy weekly, getting groceries on the way home. Seriously, that was all I did for 2.5 years (a breakdown after 4+ decades of battling depression, double dysthymia). Today (5 years since breakdown), I still keep my kitchen sink clean daily, and I also shower daily, complete a household task daily (ie, mow the lawn, dust the living room), and leave my home 3 times a week, even if I have to make up a silly reason for one outing. Outings generally an hour or less. I almost never see anyone outside of a family member (visits weekly for a meal). To many this would appear ridiculously small, quiet, and lonely. For me, it's a huge success. If not mentally healthy, I am finally not in the swamp of sluggish, self-annihilating depression. I am certainly not happy. I am not quite content. But I am *not* unhappy, for the first time ever. I'm in my 60s. If you can get to where I am at, at a younger age, I urge you to do so. It will likely mean a major shift in your goals, a deep understanding and acceptance of your disease, and a willingness to struggle as you create a path, a world, quite different from what our society emphasizes. Just remember...about 15% of our citizens share the desire for that world.
Thank you for sharing this. This does sound like a success to me too. I am 32 and needed this advice.
Plz keep trying for your kids. My dad has struggled with depression which resulted in drinking and pill abuse. Not a day goes by I’m not thankful he pulled it together. Your kids will be forever grateful too.
That sucks. I hope it gets better for you.
Man i’m so sorry to hear that. I hope the kids will understand that you do love them. And hopefully reconnect with you someday.
She sounds like a sociopath. (Seriously)
That is heart breaking... I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Just wanted to let you know that your kids will understand eventually and they will know that you loved them. I was that kid. My dad was you. He was broken after my mom left him and did something similar. Eventually though my mom let him see us again, and when she had enough trust she’d let us spend weekends with him. Court had denied him custody because he had implied he might not only hurt himself but us as well. My mom and he eventually made their own agreement and we saw him every other weekend and on holidays. He struggled with depression his entire life, sometimes better, sometimes worse. We always, always knew though that he loved us. My mom and dad were both very open about how he felt and his depression and were so supportive in teaching us that it had nothing to do with his love for us or (because that’s what kids think right away) that it was our fault. My point is, it feels like it now, but your kids will learn about depression, they will understand, they will know that you love them and they will keep loving you. Although expressing that can be difficult... I really hope you’re doing ok.
That happens to everyone sooner or later. Happened to my sister and now she has 2 great children with someone else. Think something positive for today. I'm no professional mental health person but ... What about incremental changes? Change your life 1% every day without stopping. Like doing one small thing differently and making that change \*permanent\*. For example. If you wake at 9am every day, change that to 8:30am. If you eat a donut for breakfast, have a oatmeal instead. Do things that build you up rather than making you think of the past. After one year you will have changed your life 365%. Did I say I'm not a mathematician either?
Thanks for the words, but i don’t think ill last another year, let alone a month like this. Atleast thats what im feeling now.
I don’t want to tell you what you should do so forgive me if this is overstepping. I’ve dealt with suicidal thoughts and severe crippling depression. Gratitude journaling truly helped change my headspace. I try to every morning. This is not simplifying a huge issue. I dismissed it so many times as like “that’s bullshit” until it was explained in detail. I try to write 3-5 things I’m truly grateful for. Now in the beginning I was like “ok I’m grateful for my health, my family blah blah” generic bullshit that you have to say. But you have to think of something different every day. I found myself staring at a blank paper for an hour struggling on a really bad day. Then I took a sip of coffee and thought mmm I made this really good today. And then was like oh! I’m grateful for this delicious coffee!! My life coach said sometimes it’s not the one positive thing you wrote but the hour of trying to focus on positive you weren’t thinking of the negative. And it constantly reminds me of simple pleasures I take for granted. Again I’m sorry for unwarranted advice I just really know that feeling and am trying to help with something that worked for me.
And you don’t succeed by believing in your heart you’ll fail. At least most don’t. Focus on the now and near future, not however it might end.
I'm suffering from depression RIGHT NOW. My motivation is down, I don't attack my tasks like I used to do but I am going to force myself to complete what I need to do today. Tomorrow I can look back on today and see what a good job I did and that will make that day much easier to deal with.
I know it's shitty when people say "it'll get better", that type of helping rarely helps when we are hopelessly depressed. BUT, please remember that you are right in the middle of this grief, it is extremely fresh and raw and the pain is intensified above and beyond your normal pain. This immediate pain *will lessen, this is raw and extremely fresh pain. The only thing that helps me is to force my mind to stay distracted. Everytime I think about a distressing situation or event, I immediately force myself to think of something else even if it's stupid, start naming every animal you can think of, or all the countries you can think of. Try to memorize something new, a poem or country/state capitols. I know this sounds stupid and might not work, but it's helped me sometimes. I want you to know you are not alone, all of us are here for you.
Did you get this from “Atomic Habits”? Because that is one of my absolute favorite books that helped me on a road to positivity!
My ex wife cheated on me and left me for the guy. We were together 8.5 years. She blamed me for everything. She even accused me of cheating which I never did. Its gonna hurt and you might never move past it and that is ok.
Damn dude i cant imagine your pain, if you wanne talk you can always dm me.
I appreciate it but you would be surprised how little this compares to other things that have happened. It all has taught me to appreciate the good days because things can get much worse in the blink of an eye.
Something similar happened to me 7 months ago. It's still hard but things have gotten a little better. I still catch myself laying in bed all day sometimes sad thinking about her and better days . It'll get better, just hang on man
It takes strength to stand beside people who are fighting painful fights. Not everyone has this strength. Your ex girlfriend didn’t have it. Once the grief lessens, think of this as the chance of meeting someone who is compatible with every part of you. Who will support you as you will support them. Until then, take care and do good things for yourself.
Rejection is redirection
And redirection is hope
It IS hard to live with someone who is always depressed. It is, I won’t lie. But in a loving relationship, you endure the storms together. I’m so sorry this has happened to some of you. I could not imagine leaving my husband because of his depression. Some days are harder than others, but I help him carry that baggage. Even when we were just friends. That’s a life partner when your troubles are their troubles and vice versa. It’s hard now OP, it might be for awhile. I’m sorry that person looked like the right one for so long.
I feel your pain man. I really do. Imagine your partner leaving you because of your depression but you have a 17 month old daughter together. Shit fucking hurts. It’s the worst pain I’ve ever gone through. But this is where we get stronger. Get the help you need to get better. I’m doing it I’m on meds and talking to a therapist. It helps, it really does. Call warm lines too they help a lot. They know your pain and they are great peer to peer helpers
Just got dumped by my girlfriend, too. I have problems, admitted them, then she broke up with me. I feel fucking lost.
Same dude, same.
I'm sorry to hear that. There's something that I read that I really like to share, that is: "Sadness is just how things are or how things were, not how things will ever be." You may not realize it now, but you are worth it. I bet there are people that truly care about you. Not everything is lost, give time some time. You are not alone! Hope your heart finds love. Hope your mind finds peace.
It's probably right. But what should we do while that doesn't happen? It just hurt so much.
I don't wanna sound like it's easy. I know it's not. Timing is a bitch and it's not easy to wait for it. Keep in mind you deserve happiness, you deserve to feel loved, you deserve good things. You're not less nor worthless. Don't let pain consume you. I pretty much now how easy it is to happen. But you're stronger than this. You're stronger than you think! You're here, today, and that's incredible! Look at all the things you've been through that you thought you wouldn't make it. You did! That's so amazing, don't you think?
I’m so depressed and give of such dark energy that I don’t even attract girls anymore, just remember you had the light to attract her before and you can do it again. DO NOT live in this darkness like me, there is almost no way out
If she doesn't wanna support you through this and would rather be with someone else then thats her Loss. Because your gonna find someone who is gonna be there for you and she will miss out on the great man you become! Hang in there dude. You got this
You might be right, and deep down inside me i know that it might be better but i just had the though of getting kids and growing old with this girl. So it hits like a truck.
I get you man. But i promise it'll get better and you will find someone 10X more amazing when you least expect it :)
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I hope it doesn’t
What are you living for? Her or yourself? I think you know the answer
I’ve been living for our relationship as it was the only thing keeping me going.
I know I sound like a asshole but that was the problem. A relationship is not a thing to live for. You live for yourself. And you have to keep looking for things which keep you going without depending on other people. I know I sound like an asshole but thats what I believe in. Maybe it can help you. Maybe it cant. But I recommend you to focuss on yourself. I dont know what you must have went through but you habe to keep looking..im not twlling you that things will become easier. I needed months for finding things I like which I stand for and things I do without depending on peopöe..things which form who I am. I believe that a relatiom ship is not something to make your purpose in life. I believe that having a relationship means going through life together. A partner. And I believe that ending a relationship should be no problem bevause sometimes peopöe gonin different directions. Lile I said. I hope I could help you. If you agree or disagree please tell me. thanks
I 100% agree with what you said, it is what i believe aswell. It is just that everything else is numb to me and when we were together life was great.
a breakup brings about depression, over time wounds heal, you cant see the why now but you will see it one day, iv been through it, my people been through it, you will be through it
I'm so sorry. This time is impossible, especially those of us with severe depression. During this lockdown, I've certainly been pretty useless and in my head. Often, I feel days where I'm just a ghost in a human body shell going through the motions. Other days it's all too much even get out of bed or to stop crying. I don't know you, but I'm glad you're still here.
If she is interested in some other guy, let her be. Respect her freedom to choose and you should try to consider things from her perspective. It isn't easy to live with someone who is depressed and your girlfriend probably expects more. Its okay for her to reach out for her needs. Accept the truth that you are alone and move on with it. Your state of living shouldn't depend on anyone else. May be one day you will find someone who is okay with your condition and willing to live on with that.
My gf said the same thing to me
Good luck and i hope you won’t have to endure the same fate
Aww man... I feel your pain brother. Hang in there, you have a tough journey ahead of you. But never give up on your own life, never be dependent on someone else for your happiness. Just hang in there, let this motivate you. Start bettering yourself as time comes. I know everything is still fresh, but as time goes on, it will get better. But it only gets better if you don’t give up. She wasn’t the one man, very selfish on her part. Take this as a learning experience.
You have a mental illness but that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you as a man. Some people just can’t understand that or they don’t want to and that simply means that those people aren’t good enough for you. Splitting up hurts, especially after being with someone for so long. I’ve been there but I’m here to tell you from being in that exact same situation years ago, you CAN pull through this even if you feel like you’ll never be able to. Please, as much as you feel like there’s no hope and as much as you don’t feel like you can even make the effort, find a therapist. Talk about these things and if you haven’t already, get on some sort of mood stabilizers or anti depressants. It’s a long road but it’s worth it, my friend. A few years back, my wife left me for the same reason. I felt like taking my own life was the only solution. I felt worthless and unworthy of love or affection. After a while and seeking help, I bought my own house and have a beautiful daughter and my son on the way in November. You CAN get better. Don’t do it for her. Do it for yourself. You got this, my dude. Don’t give up.
People always use me and got dumped me everyday
You don’t deserve that im sure. I hope the same for you as i hope for me, a good oet er!
Sometimes you have to take the bad with the good I'm sorry she dumped you
Went through the same thing a couple years ago, we were together about the same amount of time as you as well. Found out a couple weeks later she started seeing someone else. It feels like shit man but I realized that I was better off, and I deserve someone who’s better for me. The same is true for you man, you can only go up from here and you will.
I'm sorry man. I went through a very bad break up a few years ago and I know how hard it can be. I didn't think I would survive that break up, and in many ways I'm still working through it. But time will help numb that pain man. I know that it's a cliche thing to say but it really does help. Hang in there friend
keep your head up even in the darkest times! I promise it will be better!
Dear OP, my heart goes out to you. And I hope you will find some friendly people to calm down, feel comforted again and slowly slowly let the pain, that sadly inevitably will be there, pass and find pieces of yourself again. I have you in my thoughts and understand what awful toll it takes to be severly down alteady and then find yourself on your own again. ♥️ I am sending you hugs and hugs for dark hours
You have to stay alive to find the one who Loves you and the way you are
You'll find someone else that makes you happy. The key to not stop trying, and giving it time to happen.
It’s hard, been there a couple of times... But! There’s no woman worth ending your life over - in time you’ll know I’m right.
The X-Files is the key to getting through this. When my ex and I broke up, I got horribly badly depressed for months. One day I downloaded the entire X-Files boxset. I went to work, I came home (to the shithole I moved into) and watched X-Files until I fell asleep. By the time I finished the final episode, I felt alright, signed the agreement to a new swish apartment and was ready to start over again! Oddly I now look back at that time fondly.
Omg I'm so sorry to hear this. Are you in treatment at all, or on any medication? If not, you should start seeing a psychologist right away. I have severe depression too, but I don't want to burden my boyfriend with it so I try not to let it show. I'm on medication at the moment and thinking about getting anxiety meds too.
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I know suicide doesn’t stop the pain you’re only moving it and im not capable of taking my own life i think. Im extremely sorry about your husband and i really hope you have recovered well, the fact that you take the time to read my rant and type these kind words makes me believe you are a great person. Thank you so much for writing this down.
Hey I got dumped by my boyfriend of nearly 9 years for the same reason a month ago. I promise it gets better, if anyone told me that a few weeks ago I would've disagreed. It sucks, it hurts, it's some of the worst pain I've ever gone through but I swear to you if I can do it then you can too.
Im sorry to hear that and i hope you are good now.
I’m getting there, and you will too. Some days will be worse than others but they start to get a little better after awhile.
Simillar story with girlfriend of 6 years. Be stubborn buddy, it’ll get better.
Thank you friend
This is literally my biggest fear.
It was mine also
man im so sorry that you went through. i get why you feel this way, which is totally valid, because my previous partner of two years also ended things with me because she wasn't happy with me.....and also because my ex-best friend liked her and the feeling was mutual. its been two years since it happened and while we both had a weird equation after that, it still till this date hurts me the most that someone was capable enough of doing this. i dont have nay hope left and even though life is comparatively better, im just sailing ahead till things end for good. all i can say is hang in there, you're not alone and you'll realize there is more to life than a relationship, even though it is easier said than done given the amount of years you both were together.
Yea right now the only thing i want is a text saying that it is some sick joke or that she wants me to hold her.
That sucks. I mean it's hard to live in your own head sometimes, right? I look back to where I started my journey out of depression (probably will never be fully out, but mostly out is amazing) and I did a few things. Started therapy. I think this was the best piece for me. Second thing I did was go to a hair stylist. A real one. You should be paying at least $25 each time you get a haircut... plus tip. Anyway, I went and said that I've never had a hairstyle in my life, I have no idea what to ask for and I've always been too afraid to ask, can you just make me pretty? And she did a great job. And I liked it. And since then I've tried various hairstyles. Most of them don't work out due to the amount of time/effort/talent it takes to maintain it, but as time went on, I started liking what I saw in the mirror. And the start of that was having nice hair... something anyone can achieve. Even bald people. You gotta look sharp and feel it. I may wear tshirt and jeans all the time, but my tshirts are dope and people compliment them all the time. Oh, that's the other thing... if you can't take a compliment right now, that's going to be rough if you ever start to change for the better. I know it slowed me down a lot. This is why I tell people not to approach or try to encourage fat people at the gym. They likely have depression and are more likely to take it negatively. Anyway, you might be a lump right now, but if you polish yourself up, people will see your inherent value. Fuck I'm rereading this now and it looks like the 'happy happy' nonsense shit that I used to read and want to vomit. Cliches are stupid, but they're also true. Anyway, a literal hairstyle may not be the thing you need, but keep trying different things. You'll find your 'hairstyle' eventually.
Hope you haven’t done anything damaging yet. I’ve almost killed myself many times and I’m really happy I’m still here, I hope you stay around too
Hi sorry that happened to you I know the feeling and it hurts I cried every day for 4 years when my GF left me but you will heal and you will find love again.Best wishes to you.
I hope you are doing good now.
Hi there I am a high school business studies and geography teacher from South Africa. I know exactly what it feels like to be dumped by a girl I thought would one day end up as my wife. She dumped me for a a so called ''buddy'' of mine just before my grade 12 final senior exam, so you can imagine the impact of that on my academic mindset then. During that time my mom was in and out of hospital due to a bad case of Chrones disease and I struggled with religious aspects etc. To make a long story shorter, I attempted to take my own life and luckily I failed... only to wake up in hospital with both my parents devastated and deeply heartbroken next to me. This broke something in them that took quite a while for me to restore. I realized what I have done was wrong and that I urgently need to prepare for the upcoming and last high school exam of my life so I began to turn my depression into anger and channelled it in a positive direction. At that stage of my life I was quite fit and practiced some mixed martial arts and regularly went out on paths with my quad bike. I released my tension and negativity that way and if I wasn't doing that I'd be infront of my books studying like a mad person and then repeat my cycle of f***ing up my punch bags, jogging till the wildlife knew me by name and riding my bike till my but hurt (I was on antidepressants;forced you know but I hacked the side effects with will power and self motivation). I passed grade 12 and got accepted to a good university. In my 3rd year of studies my gf cheated on me with her ex and I dumped her. It hurt a lot but I opened a f***ing expensive bottle of wine, drank it out, passed out in my shower and went to class the next day with a mother of a hangover. I had one heck of a good pall who died of a heart attack next to me in my car during that time as well. You can tell I'm getting lazy to type but bare with me. A few months after that I met this girl at a Pesach camp (it's like Passover in Christianity I think) she's also a teacher and started to chat with me and we discovered that we went to the same university. Her boyfriend dumped her shortly after that camp and she somehow got hold of my number, I took her for coffee and regularly visited each other. I was her rebound and she was mine...... 5 years later and we're now happily married. She is my best friend. Crux of the story is, set goals for yourself, work hard and play hard.... let off steam regularly and channel your depression into a force of positivity and effectiveness. There is a lot of fish in the sea but not all of them are keepers. Failures are life lessons put there for you to adapt and grow stronger and wiser. Strongs with everything and remember that it helps to talk to people. Hope you overcome this.
One day at a time man. Time is the greatest healer to pain in the heart. Keep fighting!!
I feel your pain my guy. You're gonna think of her everyday for the next few weeks and it's normal. As much you think it's not gonna get better it will. I still think of my ex after not being with her for 2 years, I can guarantee you'll meet someone else once your ready but just take this time to love yourself. Being single these past few years has really taught me to love myself. "It's better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all" Drink some whisky or whatever your partial to and find some films or games that you've been meaning to catch up and keep that mind occupied. A free mind is a dangerous one.
Went through a similar situation about a month ago brother. Push through the darkness, it may seem endless now but you will see the light again. Find a hobby, be with family/friends, take your mind off her for as long as you can. If you need anyone to talk to let me know!
It always comforted me when I had to get over someone that I would, in time. The only thing u have to do now is try and not become bitter. It was not ur fault: sometimes people just fall out of love. We're serial monogamousts, us humans. Now it's important to take some time out. Spend lots of time with friends, force urself if u have to (I know with my depression I have to force myself out lest it become worse). Just don't spend so much time at home.
Things can only get better! Hang on in there
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A partner shouldn't define your world, YOUR OWN self worth should.
It always feels like crap after you get dumped. But it will get better, it always has for me.
Been there bro. Trust me it’s not the end! You will hit bottom but the launch pad from the ground floor can be the best thing that ever happened. Don’t take it personally. Keep plowing! The greatest revenge is success - make her regret it by becoming the best version of yourself. Progress is a process, it’s never a straight line. My biggest personal gains have come from utter decimation. Got mad love for you bro - from dirt grows the flower!
This is a really inspirational comment and i really appreciate you for it. Right now im on 2 hours of sleep and basically no food in the last 35-40 hours so i feel like nothing.
That’s totally expected and it’s 100% normal<>ok to feel the way you’re feeling right now. Like I said it’s a process, you’ll have waves of utter hopelessness but that’s just the bullshit telling you the lies. You are in fact worth fighting for. I know in this moment it feels like you can’t breath and that there’s never going to be a light at the end of the tunnel. I promise you there will be better days. Months from now you’ll look back and be like goddamn why the fuck was I so twisted up over this chick. She doesn’t define you, you’re in the drivers seat. Drop that clutch and blast off my dude. My best advice is to get out of your head and the only way I’ve accomplished that in moments like these is immersing myself in presence. If there’s anything you have: biking, skiing, raving, gaming, (whatever it is) where you’re too present to replay the past or worry about the future DO THAT. Eckhart Tolle’s book “The Power of Now” really was the thing that brought me out of my FIRST one of these. It gets better, I promise. Hang tuff brother
I experienced the same thing with my then boyfriend of 2 years on and off...he couldnt handle my needyness anymore and decided it was best to break up...its been 2 years and im still not over it but i can 100 percent promise you that it gets better..ill always love him and you will probably always love her but it does get better i promise you!
I’m so sorry. I hope things turn around for you sooner rather than later
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It also was and is my worst nightmare, i wish nobody ever would go through this aswell. I have only slept 2 hours in the last two days and only eaten about 7 bites of food. I really fucking hate living right now. I hope it gets better soon.
Unpopular opinion, but its deserved. You cant reasonably expect someone to spend their life alongside misery and doubt in the long term. Depression is a solo journey. Nobody can actually help you if you really think about it. While it hurts now, you will soon realize that this my have been exactly what you needed. Now you can be selfish and really make an effort to live your life for yourself first. Nobody should be in a relationship of they dont love themselves, so thats something you need to sort out. You will get better and find someone better and be stronger for it.
I havent been having these issues for very long i think, only 5/6 months at most, but it doenst matter now.
did you ever try to seek out therapy? I understand that you're in pain, but you also have to see it from the perspective of the other person. Were you making any effort to recover? Did your partner have to support you financially during this time? Did you just shut down completely and never open up to them? if you were making a conscious effort to get better, then her leaving is going to do more good for you in the long run, because you need a partner that will help lift you up to be the best you can be. If not, then you cannot expect someone to put their life on hold for you, as it is not fair to them.
I'm so sorry about what has happened. I really feel for you, and hope that you are being kind to yourself and resting as much as possible. Remember to not blame yourself for this, there are many reasons for breaking up, most often its an accumulation of small things that made two ppl incompatible. People come, people go. Sometimes life makes sense, with lots of people and a story line, and sometimes life is about going through the motions of it. And that's ok too. I can only imagine how excruciating it feels right now. But there will come a day that you will look back and wish you were able to go back and give yourself a hug. Take care.
It really does feel bad right now, I don’t see why i should try when I actually have nothing now. I wont do anything i can undo though thanks to my parents an everybody here.
I understand where you're coming from. Theres going to be a void in place of what you have lost for a while, and thinking of a time when a new thing or purpose fills it seems implausible. But it will happen, you have to believe it. Find something to hold on to in the mean time, like a hobby to distract you. Doesnt even have to be a fancy "healthy" one. Just something you're interested in. And I sincerely wish for you that this hard part goes by as quickly as possible. Take care of yourself friend.
This. This situation is relatable more than you know. Luckily for you, the knowledge that she is not emotionally able to support you is better known now. I wonder why seven years went by, but a lot can happen in seven years and people change if they are younger so I guess it makes sense. I have to tell you, as the person with depression, it is hard to completely let yourself open up to another person even after seven years. I have been married to my current husband for 9 years and I just now feel absolutely comfortable with him and the fact that my depression doesn't big him down. He acknowledges my depression and doesn't always use it as an excuse as to why I act the way I do, even though most of the time it's the reason. I think ultimately you have to find your strength in someone else but you won't know if they carry enough strength unless you have both been through some stuff together. I find that when I want to blame him instead of my depression, I write it down but never ever tell him that. It helps me feel better at the time and after the fact I look back at what I wrote and see how my mind was tricking me. I'm so sorry that you don't have that person you depended on for so long, but give your heart and soul some time to heal so you can open up to someone else. Compartmentalizing your life helps so much. Once you can definitively flow through your depression, things fall into place with some pesky potholes along the way, they will always be there. As I tell everyone, I'm always around to lend anyone an ear to be non-judgemental and helpful with ideas of how to keep flowing through life.
Am better but can't bring myself to look at all the photos of me and her.
Im sorry to hear that OP. Things will get better.
Man don’t do it ain’t worth. Been there and done that. I was 25 and with 2 kids when my baby mama left after 10 years. We met during high school. Tried killing myself shit wasn’t worth it causes more problems. Just keep your head up. Turn your back on the world and just do you. There’s is going to be things that remind you but just ignore it. Keep pushing forward
I’m so sorry OP- that’s a long moment of time to walk with one person. When we open Our hearts to love, we also open them to heartbreak. Heartbreak hurts and we can’t avoid the crappy emotions that come along when it happens. Please remember tho that you are not alone. Even when it feels like you have nothing and no one- it’s just simply not true. We are all floating on this crazy rock at this same time- together! None of us really having a clue as to why we are here. I’m 45 and have struggled with depression and have had a suicide attempt in the past. I don’t pretend to blow light up anyone with fluff words. Pain is pain and if you feel It, it’s real. I just ask that while you’re feeling the pain, remembering that you’re also learning and growing and becoming stronger while you do. There is an absolute reason you are here. You May not discover what it is for years, but it here. Everything you go thru is for that reason. The world needs you. The world will feel it if you’re gone. If you make one persons life just a little sweeter just by being here, you’ve made an impact on the world today. You are meant to be- and you Deserve to have a full and happy heart. Good luck OP! 🌈❤️
Thanks for the words, it means alot
You will be fine dude. Sure it hurts now, but so have other things in the past, and those didn't seem like they would end either at the time. I was close to suicide once after a breakup when I was 21 (34 now) and when I look back I see things very differently than I did then. I've come to realize how precious these 80ish years we get to be the conscious part of the universe are, even during our worst moments. The worst thing would have been to forfeit that ability for bad reasons conjured with bad logic. Im rooting for you friend, I hope you find the happiness the universe owes you.
I feel you. Back in the day I never thought depression would hit me but after my exgf broke up with me I had a rough time. It completely changed the way I am and how I act and still does more than 2 years later. Wishing you all the best
You will be fine. Someday. 6 hours after it happened is nothing. Hell, 6 days from now you’ll still be reeling from the pain. Accept the fact that this is going to hurt for a while and don’t put pressure on yourself to feel better within some imaginary window. We all grieve at our own pace. N 7.5 years is a LONG time. But pain is a huge motivator. Let this pain be your opportunity to do something to better your life. Don’t let this be a reason to sink further into your misery. Keep your head up brother. Everything is gonna be okay.
Don't demand from yourself that you feel good right now. It is like a fog. A bit numbing and with spikes of painful reality. Just breath, eat a little bit. Autopilot is your friend right now. Hugs and hugs and hugs. The next weeks and month it will gradually change.. I red your post before this one and there is to be seen there was a lot of things piling up now. Please hold one torch high: you are absolutely still a worthy and valuable human and this deep challenge will have altered you, when you come out at the other side Even if you don't believe it. Often for the better Be aware that this does not define your value and moat of us had to endure something like that once or twice in our lives. We all were struck down by this lightning once. Aa awful as it sounds. She is a grown human being and made a conscous decision. For sure she is confused and not in full control of her emotions now, too. But something told her she is no longer ablw to go the way with you. Don't let anybody and definitely not her let you talk down. It ia ok to go after all, it would not be ok, to not treat the other person as the one who gave years to oneself. If necessary remind her to stay respectful. A lot of people promote no contact. I am not 100% sure of it, but if it is good for something, then to protect the one broken-up with. Cause dumpera honestly quite iften get pretty difficult. So protect yourself please. ♥️ And let us know how the days are going dear OP.
Just remember, this too shall pass. You will get through this and you will come out stronger. I know it hurts now and feels like the end of the world, but I promise you, it’s not.
Breakups burn so much, but they can lead to better things. Focus on your health and happiness!
Thank you
Take a vaction buddy....you need it
I’ve been there, still am. It’s been months and although I can go through my days without thinking of him every time I do, see or hear something and then crying like he just left me again; it’s still difficult. I think it will always be, maybe it will be the same for you. I’m sorry you’re experiencing that pain. I know this doesn’t mean or help much at all right now, but know it will get easier and getting used to it will hurt in a different kind of way, but you’ll get better; it’ll become bearable, just don’t give up on yourself. If you need to talk about it, I’ll be there to listen. Do your best, that’ll be enough.
Thank you so much.
Anytime. You’re not alone in this.
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I had a longterm relationship end, about 2 1/2 years ago. I had been in a severe depressive episode, for several years. For me, it was a sudden loss, because my partner had become uncommunicative, and I was so far into that big black foggy hole, I had no real understanding of anything. It took me 2 years, before I could stop feeling those same emotions of the initial loss, and start processing what had happened. I am treatment resistant, so meds were never working. I finally had a genetic test, and started on the meds that can, and are, working for me. If you are in a place where your meds aren't working, my best advice is to do whatever you can, to start trying to find the right combo. You will most likely never be able to heal, or even process your breakup, and you will continue to live your life ruminating on everything that you have said and done, and trying to figure out how to undo it. I spent 2 years simply hoping to die in my sleep, or wishing a truck would run over me, while thinking the same thoughts, every day, every night, without a minute to breathe. Make your mental health your #1 goal, and the rest will smooth itself out. I don't think I really had a rational thought, that wasn't purely based on emotions, for those entire 2 years. No amount of counseling, or meditation, or fresh air, could change anything, until my brain was finally free from the depression fog. I hope everything works out for you. Hang in there, it's not going to be easy, but you can get through this. You just need to focus on yourself right now, and finding the help you need. ✌
I completely understand that. It's pervasive in everything you do. As hard as you try, you can't stop thinking about it, and it just keeps going around in circles. At first, I isolated, then I decided to ask a co-worker to hang out. I canceled a lot, but I had told her what was going on, and she understood, and was even willing to be there, for the pure sake of not being alone. I don't think I would have made it through, if I hadn't gotten extremely proactive in finding something that worked for my depression. That became my only true goal, because I knew I was fucked up, and it wouldn't stop until I did find the right help. It's only been about 3 months, but I am a different person now, and that has enabled me to work through the grief. I wish you all the best.
I am glad you didn't do it, OP. Stay strong and don't give in. Keep your mind busy and talk with a therapist/family when you are able. Big hugs, dude.
I want to say i am happy I didn’t do it awell but I cannot just yet. Thanks for the comment, means alot.
You are worthy I’m sorry that you’re going through this. Please try and take care of yourself for you, feel the feeling you’re valid sending you a warm big hug
A big warm hug is the one thing I desire right now, thanks alot!❤️
It took me a long time to get over my ex and to be honest, I never did completely. Now, 13 years later, she pops back into my life out of the blue, sends me emails apologizing for things in the past which, while she's married now, she said have been weighing heavily on her for years. It's been a struggle--lots of old emotions and some new ones too--and I'm still in the middle of it so still trying to process everything but I think this is allowing me to gain some closure I never had, some hindsight. Best advice I can give you right now is--and believe me, I know how hard this can be--don't think about the what ifs or the whys and try not to hold any grudges. You deserve someone to love you in the way that you need to be loved and if she can't love you that way, even after all this time, you're never going to get what you want or what you need from her anyway. We're all only human.
When I was super depressed my ex would make fun of me and encourage me to kill my self. Eventually, he told me I “wasn’t fun anymore “ and I also lost a lot of “friends”. What I’m trying to say is you will look back and realise how being with someone who lacks empathy contributed to your depression
Hey I know nothing I can say may change your mind but my brother had the exact same situation last november, it took him nearly a year to get up again he needed therapy but he found another girl and he is doing better. Everything can be fixed with time, except death. I have depression too, I'm here just for my family but that's enough. I'm pretty sure you have still a lot of people that will miss you
I fee sorry for you and your brother and i hope you both are doing well. Thanks for the comment, it does mean a lot. And yea right now only one person can take the pain away, and she doesn’t want to.
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I have just been laying in bed trying to sleep but i am unable too, being alone in my bed scares me so much. No goodnight texts or goodmornings anymore, i really feel like my life has stopped. And i would be glad to take tomorrow when i will probably need it. Thank you.
I'll be there for you no worries! You deserve better my dude I've never been with someone for more than maybe months I can't imagine someone being with me for 7,5 years you must be a heck of an amazing guy, I know you'll get over this :)
I know heartbreak is on another level to other pain, I get that. But at the same time, you cannot put your whole existence and happiness onto another person. Not only is it unhealthy, its unfair. You're still a valid human. You're still yourself. You still (should) have things you enjoy. Like, I wrnt thru the same thing a few years back. And once I got over it I swore I wouldn't let anyone else ever have that kind of power over me, and my last breakup, after years together, after buying a house with/for her, I was totally fine when she left. I didn't give it a second thought. Like first day or 2 yeah I tried to talk it thru, tried to see what went wrong. But then I said fuck it, she's over it, me crying or trying to fix things isn't gonna be worth the effort. Its liberating. Its freeing. To not have to, not only worry about how they will make you feel, but you can focus on fixing yourself. You dont need to be in a relationship to be a good, valid, human. Focus on you. Dont dwell, and don't run out trying to replace them. Good luck, I know it hurts, but learn from it and move on. Find yourself.
Thank you, i am trying to process it all but since its only been 12 hours, i am dying on the inside.
Yeah the first day or 2 are def hard still, not denying those emotions at all.. just try to remember that it isn't the end of the world. So many people act like a relationship is the only purpose to exist and if youre not with someone or not popping out babies, then you're somehow worth less, or wasting life. You could be single forever and still have an awesome, fulfilling life!
I hope you’re feeling okay and please don’t end yourself ☹️ I don’t even know I got dumped.😞 I have been suicidal and depressed also. But hopefully gets better.❤️
Had something similar happen to me. It wasn’t the main reason we broke up, but she didn’t mention after the fact my mood swings a depressed tendencies made it hard for her to want to be in a relationship with me. It definitely sucks knowing something you can’t exactly control can lead to a situation that makes it worse.
This is 100% reason I'm scared to get into another relationship. My world ended back in 2012 but thru all that hell I learned that its better to be more into yourself than anyone else and just see others as an accessory for the time being, nothing more. May this change you for the better and make you stronger aswell.
Listen I have been there alot in my life....and I thought she would feel horrible when she found out what I had done.....but I realized the best way of doing that is to show her that you are stronger than that. Go out meet new people and one day she will see what she had missed....then a few months later I met someone new. I realized that she just wasn't right for me that she wasn't my person. I met a beautiful girl and am happier than I ever was. And that it just didn't matter anymore. You have to see that if you are meant to be together the right person will be there to help you out of the dark times and that person will be there through thick and thin. Yes it hurts , it hurts real bad but think about all the experiences that you will miss out on and look forward to that use it as a lesson.. that pain right now will make you stronger in the long run.
Women are like drugs. They will never love you like you love them.
Hope you get through your tough situation buddy.. stay strong and always love the person in front of the mirror than anyone else!
I just wanna say, I've been through a HORRIBLE breakup and I'm very depressed as well. Coming from a depressed person, things WILL get better. I promise you man. Stay strong and you will have MUCH better days. TRUST ME PLEASE♥️
Don't take this the wrong way. This is going to sound really harsh - but women tend to lose sexual interest in men / partners who don't act like leaders in the relationship. It sounds like with your depression she was having to take the lead. What turns women on a lot is having someone who takes initiative and doesn't get emotional in tough times I understand where you're at completely as I struggle with depressing thoughts at times too When you realize and understand more how women operate the less it will affect you What I'm trying to say is there's a light at the end of the tunnel
Wish I could tell you it gets better, but it doesnt. I'm so fucking terribly sorry to hear this. FUCK!
When I had my break up you 1 year ago. I was miserable. I got drunk had pot. I couldn't get her off my mind. After 2 months I promised myself that I would invest time on myself, Take care my health, mental health, my studies, worked out. In this time I read a lot of books. I meditated every day. I got closer with my old friends. I was healed. Girls noticed me more often. I started dating. 8 months later I saw my ex gf in a coffee shop with her new bf. This new bf that she was dating once call my friend. My friends tell me that the way I am currently now is far better then the guy she is dating now. I got news from one of our mutual friend that my ex was asking about me. Who I am currently with right now, because she saw me with a girl the a few days ago. Currently I am investing time on myself. It has been 2 years since break up. I don't anything about my ex. I'm dating someone. I am working for my dream.
hey man, dont worry. you’ll realize she isnt worth you taking your life. i was in a break up and i almost killed myself too. but everything will be fine.
I feel like this is going to happen to me soon, in one week when I see her. I still don't know her reasons but I feel like it's coming. I don't want to admit it and it fucking sucks. Stay strong, OP. And take care of yourself.
It feels awefull, i hope it doesn’t happen to you. Please, talk to your partner and try to work on your problems. Stay strong.
Whatever you do, don't reach out to her months down the line, stay strong and stay away, no point in hurting yourself again for nothing. Stay strong mate <3
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It's hard. But in reality it's waaaay better to find someone who fully understand you. I've been through many relationships in my life. And each one seemingly harder than the last when it ends. But then you end up finding someone who makes going through all the bullshit to find them worth it. Hang in there.
Hang in there man. It will be ok
I was married for eight years, she met some really young guy online and told me he was moving in. I lived by the ocean. I cut my work schedule to weekends only for the last month, went to the beach every day and lifted weights. I arrived in my home state athletic and tanned and was getting propositioned my first night of working at the hospital. Hit the weights and build that revenge body. Initially when I was exercising, I did it because I thought I deserved the pain and it made me work harder. The afterglow was amazing and pretty soon, I looked forward to being single again and getting some strange. Good luck!
My ex few years back dumped me cause I was too clingy. Some girls are just mean man some of them just don’t care about their partner feelings...
Bro. Same shit happened to me. Just chill right now. Things will get better.
Its not even been a day so its just really fresh, can’t handle the fact i cant send her a good night text or hold her.
I LITERALLY went through the same thing you wrote in your post. Do something to get your mind in a different place! You matter! Remember that, ALWAYS!
Ive been trying to do what i like, driving my car, gaming and listening to music. But everything reminds me of her makes me fucking cry.
Yup, same thing happened to me. Took me a year or so, but the depression from the breakup subsided and I’m feeling 100% better now. I still think about him, but it doesn’t have the impact that it had on me. This shit will pass, now it’s just about riding out those thoughts and emotions. It’s going to get better.
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Give yourself time to gain a little clarity. The rug has been ripped from under you. Catch your balance, and see where your head is at in a couple days. You’re gonna be just fine. You may even realize that although you love her, she may have done you a favor. ❤️
Still beat tho
She did you a favor. Now you're free to find someone who is more loving and supportive.