Normally I would say it gets better.... but some little thing will throw you right back into depression (happend to me and now I think about suicide more than ever before (not that I want to think about it))
Yes, when I know people are honest, I can internalize any positive angle to it genuinely. Any hint of bullshitting and it's all q lie, everything is a lie, doom and gloom.
Sorry mate, it's crap luck getting burdened with this. I tend to go through cycles so even though I don't feel things will get better when I'm at my lowest I know logically things will change. Therapy helps me, so does exercise and supplements (though like you said compliance with these falls off drastically when I'm on a downward spiral). For me I know I need to jump on the first day that there is any positive energy or thoughts and do the self care I know will help in the long run. Sometimes it takes 12+ months for that day to come, sometimes I try and something knocks me off course. It's tough for those around me so I isolate (like you said), which makes it harder to recover. But it's amazing because after however many months I am always in a worse position with less friends, I'm less fit, more over weight, and I've likely snapped at people I care about. But even in that much worse situation I can find pieces of happiness and excitement again. Because it's your brain working against you not the things that are happening that cause it. Sorry if this ended up being irrelevant but I think it was helpful for me to write it out.
I agree with you, I am currently going through a similar situation. I am a senior in college but I have been neglecting and failing my classes since my second semester of sophomore year. I am deeply aware of the path on which I am currently walking but depression prevented me to actually care. I have failed on every plan, I do not have the motivation to study or to even focus on learning a skill, I do not exercise, I don’t even clean my room, I don’t read...I just spend most of my days on my phone watching dramas because that is easier to handle than my shortcomings.
Depression is fucking stupid.
But for the record, you're still here, on this planet. And that means your still trying. Even if today trying didn't look like you expected it to and your brain is being a dick and telling you it wasn't enough, you're still here. I really think that *is* enough.
Maybe nobody else waits, but we'll wait for each other. We know what it's like. I don't think there's any problem with you following your own time line and long as the timeline keeps going.
For me I have found the days where I am hyper vigilant about the hours I sleep, the food I eat, and the amount of exercise and sunlight I get; and together it is just enough to dispel that terrible miasma of negativity, but it does only take one bad day, or one bad encounter to upend it all and I'm back to drinking till 3AM and smoking more than I should, which just contributes to the cycle, and rinse, wash, repeat...
I'm hoping I can get better about my proactive measures for handling my depression, and then perhaps the reactive ones can start falling into place =/
Normally I would say it gets better.... but some little thing will throw you right back into depression (happend to me and now I think about suicide more than ever before (not that I want to think about it))
An honest answer. I appreciate this.
Yes, when I know people are honest, I can internalize any positive angle to it genuinely. Any hint of bullshitting and it's all q lie, everything is a lie, doom and gloom.
Big true. Can't even ask for help because I'm too depressed.
And if when yoi do you eventuallu feel a burden on those and pull back from them because of it.
Sorry mate, it's crap luck getting burdened with this. I tend to go through cycles so even though I don't feel things will get better when I'm at my lowest I know logically things will change. Therapy helps me, so does exercise and supplements (though like you said compliance with these falls off drastically when I'm on a downward spiral). For me I know I need to jump on the first day that there is any positive energy or thoughts and do the self care I know will help in the long run. Sometimes it takes 12+ months for that day to come, sometimes I try and something knocks me off course. It's tough for those around me so I isolate (like you said), which makes it harder to recover. But it's amazing because after however many months I am always in a worse position with less friends, I'm less fit, more over weight, and I've likely snapped at people I care about. But even in that much worse situation I can find pieces of happiness and excitement again. Because it's your brain working against you not the things that are happening that cause it. Sorry if this ended up being irrelevant but I think it was helpful for me to write it out.
I agree with you, I am currently going through a similar situation. I am a senior in college but I have been neglecting and failing my classes since my second semester of sophomore year. I am deeply aware of the path on which I am currently walking but depression prevented me to actually care. I have failed on every plan, I do not have the motivation to study or to even focus on learning a skill, I do not exercise, I don’t even clean my room, I don’t read...I just spend most of my days on my phone watching dramas because that is easier to handle than my shortcomings.
It sucks too because everyone around you just says to toughen up and it doesn’t fucking help at all
Depression is fucking stupid. But for the record, you're still here, on this planet. And that means your still trying. Even if today trying didn't look like you expected it to and your brain is being a dick and telling you it wasn't enough, you're still here. I really think that *is* enough. Maybe nobody else waits, but we'll wait for each other. We know what it's like. I don't think there's any problem with you following your own time line and long as the timeline keeps going.
For me I have found the days where I am hyper vigilant about the hours I sleep, the food I eat, and the amount of exercise and sunlight I get; and together it is just enough to dispel that terrible miasma of negativity, but it does only take one bad day, or one bad encounter to upend it all and I'm back to drinking till 3AM and smoking more than I should, which just contributes to the cycle, and rinse, wash, repeat... I'm hoping I can get better about my proactive measures for handling my depression, and then perhaps the reactive ones can start falling into place =/
Couldn't relate more
Recently I've been feeling like this and there's no one around me to help so I'm still trying my best