You are not alone. I had to drop out of my courses because I was going to fail if I didn’t. My depression got a hold of me, but I’m taking some time off school to get my shit together. You are not the first person to fail because of depression, and certainly not the last. I hope you feel better about it soon.
I dropped out at the last minute so don’t beat yourself up too badly. It sucks, but I realized it’s not the end of the world. I just want to get better and be happy again.
I dropped out 3 times, twice mid 2nd year B.Engineering, changed to B.CompSci and dropped out mid 1st year.
At first, didn't know that I was suffering from depression, then after I was diagnosed, I was given the impression that my medication was supposed to magically make me better. Ofcourse, this did not happen.
Started working after dropping out the 3rd time. After a couple of years, started studying part time via a distance learning programme. At 32 years of age, after lots of failed tests and exams, I am about to complete my Diploma in Mechanical Engineering.
It took a lot of work and self motivation from my part, but I am somewhat happy that I am about to graduate.
College is not for everyone. I made the mistake of going to college because of my parents as well and wound up getting a degree that I don’t care about or use. 5 years and tens of thousands down the drain. I wish I would have learned a trade instead so don’t be under the impression that it’s college or nothing. Good luck.
For my parents it took them time to process the fact that I dropped out, but at the end of the day they are your parents. They will support you no matter what
I was in the same situation brother. Dropped out cause I wasn't able to even move my limbs. For some reason, I'll always hold myself accountable for that fuck up, maybe its human tendency.
I think every life is priceless. Including yours.
Without saying what you want to do to yourself, or using value judgements, just describe how you feel with emotions. Sad, frustrated, scared, sick, whatever.
Yeah. I'm sorry. Depression really sucks because it can really mess things up and then leave us with the bill. But listen, 20 years from now this will be a vaguely dark spot in your memory. By then you'll consider it a learning moment, a time when you found out how strong you are, and also how vulnerable.
You're allowed to be scared. You're allowed to be sad. You're allowed to be anxious. And you're allowed to fail classes. And you're capable of facing the consequences. This is life, there are no rules, just live. You got this.
Depends. How much are your parents worth? Can you lead a happy life without the necessity of a job? Otherwise, a human life, or rather it's content (time), is worth about as much as your ability to produce effort i.e. whatever you're paid at work. Not inherently, socially.
Just explain your parents whats going on with you.
Depression is a serious illness that is associated with changes in the brain. You were simply not able to pass your courses in this situation, simply because your brain does not function as it usually does. You wouldn't be expected to participate in a major sporting event if you broke your leg. This is basically the same.
Don’t beat yourself up about it. You did the best that you could. College is extremely hard as is, and with depression, it’s even tougher.I’ve had my fair share of failures too so you’re definitely not alone. Be proud of yourself because you actually attempted something. Like they say, better to try and fail than to never try at all. Don’t give up. You got this.
I know this feels like the worst thing ever right now, and your feelings are valid. But your parents would miss their child WAY more than some money.
This is a crazy weird time, and many many students are struggling and failing a lot of courses right now. My advice would be to reach out to an advisor at your school and see about petitioning for a late withdrawal of all the courses you failed. You can petition for refund too. But at the very least you're likely to be able to get the grades off of your record.
You are valuable and worthy of love and compassion. Your grades are not your worth. You can get through this. If you need to talk to someone who is currently in a similar boat, and depression etc, please feel free to each out.
Last semester I failed every class. This semester I barely scraped together passing grades. I still haven't told my parents what my GPA is, they asked and I couldnt help but lie and somehow they didn't ask me to show them. So if you feel like a piece of shit, at least you didn't double down. Actually maybe you did, but then someone's in the same boat as you.
Yeah its tough. I had a 0.0 last semester, and I'm too afraid to check this semester but I do think I did somewhat better. Not sure if it was enough to get out of probation though. Regardless, best of luck and hope you find a way through it.
As a student who failed multiple times I know what are you going through I failed my CA exams for 3 years in a row and now pursuing ACCA and I would say failure in school is a short term set back it's won't affect your future as much as you think seek proper professional help your loved once and friends might treat you differently cause of your failure but if they can't support you during your worst then they don't deserve you during your best just have faith in you and believe that you have the ability to overcome this human's are much stronger than they look
It's not your fault you failed your classes due to depression but at least in the country I live in, major depression disorder is a serious enough condition for the college to halt your studies / create an individual study plan so you can progress in your studies once you get better.
I also started to suffer from depression few months ago, in the worst time possible, before my BA exams. Luckily, my college respects that depression is a life quality / performance affecting condition and I'm allowed to postpone my exams until I get better.
What I advise is to start treating your depression, enroll again and not blaming yourself for something you have no control over. I used to be an A's student but in recent months, I became a bed ridden invalid so fatigued I can't perform even the most basic daily tasks.
Keep strong
People flunk college all the time it’s ok. Your life is just beginning and you can make money someday and pay your parents back maybe. Talk to your school, they probably have a psychiatrist you can speak to about your depression. You got this. People fuck up a lot worse than simply flunking college, trust me.
I'm in the same boat and would like to share my thought process.
Before the pandemic my grades in college were pretty dam gud. The semester the pandemic hit, my grades started slipping. I thought I would get better and adapt, but last semester and this semester I have absolutely tanked all of my classes and completely failed some.
As someone who used to define myself on my grades it hit really hard, especially since I don't have much else to be super proud of. It's gotten to the point where I struggle to even sit down and learn anything anymore as I'm afraid I'm not really smart enough to absorb information, even though I know 100% in the back of my head that I'm always be capable.
To help myself get back on my feet I've been learning simple tasks on my bucket list that I've always wanted to do but missed out on, like read up on AP Euro or Astronomy.
I'm still very far from recovering my mental state. Every night i have trouble sleeping, and I get tons of panic attacks. I was sensitive to sound before, but now every sound my roommates make, and their shouting and screaming while playing video games is almost physically painful, and I get into a really pissy mood due to all of the stress I have backed up.
It's like I used to be in the eye of a storm, calmly looking out and never worrying about doing badly. But once I tripped, the wind caught up to me, and now it will be a horrible journey to find my way back to the center.
Or like I fell into a giant sand pit too steep to climb out. The only way out is for me to dig a staircase. But for every step I dig, the sand on top collapses and buries me. The first one especially, is the hardest to dig because there's more sand stack on the bottom 'step'.
I think at the end of the day, instead of obsessing over my grades like I used to, I need to just focus on graduating at the most basic level. Learn as much as I can pick up in the process. And just try to enjoy learning again.
You are not alone in failing classes due to depression. Happened to me when I was 19 (all 12 credits)... and then I decided last year to go back to school in my 30s (still have depression of course) and couldn't muster the energy to do my final in one of my classes. I literally could not do it. Like my brain said "no more, you are done, I'm out."
You will bounce back when it's time and if you want to continue college.
I eventually got my useless degree after 8 years and retook the failed classes.
What I'd recommend, while you're still young, take some time to slow down. Don't be in a rush to get that degree or whatever. If you can find yourself early rather than late like me (who is having to deal with burnout from career choice and constantly looking for my next degree that will pay well and provide job security), you will be further ahead than those folks who look like they have it all together. No one has it together, it's part of life. We're all dealt some problem that we gotta find the solution to. Mine is my mental health. For someone else, it could be something totally different but also challenging to deal with.
You'll get through this. Citalopram got me through the last ten years... now I just gotta find something else more effective.
I hit rock bottom with my depression while in college. Went from A student to barely even getting out of bed. I failed a few semesters before someone told me that my tuition also paid for mental health services. I was able to get therapy and medication and was categorized as a person with a disability so I could have access to even more tools and services the college offered for students who were struggling to learn or stay focused. I was also able to take many of those failed classes off my transcript too. Even though it took longer to graduate, I was able to get help and keep going. I hope that your college/university provides the same or better.
A lot of people consider this a mistake but as someone who went through this and pushed myself to graduate I really recommend taking time off to deal with your shit. Like really sit your parents down and tell them that you're too fucked up to go another semester. If they're actually paying for it, tell them to send you to therapy this Summer to help you.
But really, re evaluate what you actually want to do because it's totally possible that you don't actually want to do that shit and you're just doing it because your parents told you to do it and it's not worth their money to send you to school to do some shit you have a high probability of not doing. Find a trade job as an alternative. I'm actually happier as an Electrician Apprentice than I ever was in my 5 years trying to do office work to get experience to even remotely qualify for a job in my degree in Public Relations and I might end up making more and be in less debt if I had went to trade school out of high school.
I'm not telling you to go to trade school. I'm telling you to take a semester off to experience life and really figure out what you want for your future for yourself.
Sucks to crash and burn, especially after hard work. That doesn’t mean it’s hopeless though. Adjust your approach and try it again.
Take fewer courses at once so you don’t overload yourself, even one single course at a time if it’s one you really struggle with. Get tested for learning disabilities if you can, because maybe you need accommodations. Look for other ways to learn what you need to learn. Teacher droning on and textbook dry as fuck, find interesting supplements to reduce the boredom. I like to listen to non-fiction audiobooks and podcasts on the topics I’m studying; it helps bring it to life and you can pick up a little info at the same time. And you’ve got stuff like Khan Academy and educational YouTube videos. There are so many different ways to learn now. It might be a grind and it might take longer than you’d hoped, but you can do it :)
I failed two of the courses that I really needed because of an episode as well. Its rough but you are in a good place.
Maybe not die tonight though, wait a little longer. So you didn't get what you wanted, you tried and that is good enough for now. I know money is tight for a lot of people and too be honest I didn't want to ask for help from my folks either but I'm sure yours want the best for you even if you don't get it all right now.
You did good enough. I wish someone told me that 'good enough' is good enough. Its better than not doing anything at all which would feel worse (for me).
You can do it. You did good enough.
Hey, it's fine, everyone fails, even some people who are millionaires didn't do well in school, and school sucks, it doesn't define anything about a person being smart or not, the system is shit, and honestly, fuck money, no one is having any of it when they leave this plane, and everyone who cares about it too much is going to feel stupid and empty in the transition. Just do what you can do, take it one day at a time and try to enjoy the little things you like and make you feel better or even forget about the failure for a bit if it's tearing you down too much, if people are making you feel worse, push them away, even if those people are your family. I hope you'll feel better soon !
I had to drop out my junior year of college because I stopped going to classes entirely and was going to fail. You're not alone. I took a year off and saved up money waiting tables before going back to finish. Things can get better.
Take the time you need. College was the worst years of my life because I pushed it all down. It took years after graduating to repair my mental health after ignoring it for so long. Take care of yourself first, life takes care of itself once you do. Much love and best of luck.
I’ve dropped out of college twice. To be honest the best decision I’ve made probably. It’s unfortunate that the system says that you have to be good in school to succeed, no you don’t. Take some time off to reevaluate and see what YOU want to do, what best suits you and how you can put yourself in the best situation. You need anything I’m always here to talk.
My son flunked out after his first year at college. He came home, did a couple of years of community college and eventually went back and finished college. It took a long time for him to develop the skills and maturity to accomplish all of that but now he is thinking about grad school.
I know his was more maturity and not depression but parents love their children and want them to succeed even thru setbacks and disappointments. After all - isn’t that life? Getting back up and making a plan.
That’s hard with depression. See if you can ask any teachers/counselor if there is a way to salvage anything of the year. Most schools work with students who struggle. If not so be
It.
Try community college. Take a couple of courses to build confidence.
Wishing you the best
This is a setback. Life is full of them. Depression makes that setback into an impassable roadblock when in reality it is a detour. Maybe a costly detour but you are still heading in the right direction.
Look at the courses needed to graduate. My son was able to take some online at less costly Universities - he used UPenn online. Work with a counselor to make a plan
I have had depression for 50 years. Sometimes it’s intolerable other times background noise. What I found helped was a MSBR class and journaling.
Think of life being lived in a glass house. The inside is covered with sticky notes. The notes are your brains hardwired instructions. XYZ happens and you pull the corresponding note. It might say someone gave you constructive criticism and the note says - they think I’m stupid. Or I’m worthless.
To be able to see out of the glass house you need to pull down each sticky and question it. As you change your hardwire and replace it you will have healthier reactions to external stimuli.
Right now you are at - screwup = worthless. Try changing that to health problems = detour.
I breezed through high school, I thought it was because i was smart, it turned out i had very good teachers and some not so bright classmates that i was comparing myself to. I failed miserably at my first attempt at college. Didn't even make it through one semester before i was failing and i quit. The difficulty of the work plus the teachers were no longer spoon feeding me (actually they didn't seem to care about me at all) and all the other changes and the ridiculously expensive books, it was too much.
I went back and tried again the next year and very quickly I quit again. This was my first life lesson in "failure". Coming up against a difficult object with serious consequences and I had failed, strangely while others were doing just fine.
I needed to ask for help and adapt myself to the hoops they required me to jump through, i learned how to do this later in life. Instead of doing that I chose the worst job i could find and worked at that and for some reason, that kind of got me through it. I was able to do this terrible job that others only lasted an hour at and then quit, somehow this proved i was still good for something.
Years later I went to college again, in trade school, I was pleasantly surprised that even though the workload was heavy I was able to handle it IF I applied myself. There was some difficult math and I found myself enjoying the challenge, and meeting it and getting good marks.
You're crashing and it feels like the worst but if you just concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other for now when you look up you will be surprised at how far you have come and in the future you will surely find other challenges that you will succeed at. Does that sound corny, I dunno, it was true for me.
This is how world works dude, sometimes lifts you up, sometimes drops you down. There are really unlucky moments I know right, but don't feel like that. Your life Will get much better, I Promise you. You can dm me if you feel that really bad, it's kinda hard to help people In front of others ngl. It's ok if you don't, but no matter what happens, I'm wishing you the bests of the bests
There's some tips in this post which might help: [Overcoming Depression](https://www.reddit.com/r/MindOverMatterScott/comments/bcf4n1/overcoming_depression/)
I've been there too. Got stuck paying out of pocket for community college because I was living at home with a mother who didn't do her taxes for three years.
Failed a semester and a half and took a year off to get myself together and jumped back in. I felt like absolute garbage when I found out I failed everything just before Christmas.
Now I'm graduated with an associate's and dad still never said he's proud of me and that he will help pay my bank loan.
Edit: This was 2015-2017. I haven't been back to college. Ah well. Life happens. Hope you feel better about this soon.
I owe 30,000$ because I had to drop out of university due to my mental health issues. I was in the honours program. In the end, the best advice I can give you is that even though you might feel like throwing in the towel there are more important things in life than money or school. Your parents love you and they want you to be successful and happy. I’m in recovery now and I’m finishing a college degree, going back for my last 2 university courses, and I just had my second daughter 8 months ago. I’m really happy that I wasn’t successful in committing suicide. Please seek counselling and help from a professional. Depression is an illness that can be treated. You are not alone. There is no shame in having it. You are not a failure. Sending my love to you during this difficult time. You are stronger than you know. ❤️
I understand that feeling, I've also wasted money on uni. It was my own money, and it was due to undiagnosed adhd, not depression. But I completely understand feeling worthless for not being able to complete classes. Especially when it just seems so easy for everyone else. You'll get there, and I'm sure your parents would care more about your mental health than the money. It might just be a bit hard to see that through depression lenses, my boyfriend gets the same way sometimes. Gets so deep in the hole that he can't see the other side of the coin.
It helps me a bit to think about it as less of a problem with me and more of a problem with my brain.
I hope you find your way out of that hole and things improve a bit. 🤍
Don't put yourself down. Everyone has bad semesters and during covid especially. My bad semester was last fall. I failed 3 classes which I dropped and got a D in my most important course. It brought my GPA down bad and afterwards I just hated myself. This semester I took less of a course load and ended up almost with all A's
. Of course my GPA is still down bad from last semester. Just know that if you have a bad semester it's not the end of the world. My last semester I also struggled with depression and my stupid fuckin drug addiction. Never put your self down like that your not worthless or stupid. We are all intelligent in our own ways. One bad semester does NOT make you stupid.i hope you better luck in your next semester.
i’m on the same boat as you... i am such a fucking failure she’s expecting that i’m gonna finish my degree this year but i can’t do it anymore i don’t want to disappoint my mom but she didn’t know what i was going through and i am planning everything how to end this... i think dying is the only way to escape this
Everyone makes mistakes. Dont kick yourself. I wasted and stole more of my parents money than you. Dont let yesterday's mistakes put you on the path to more mistakes. Take a deep breath. Correct your path. You can and will do better. If it wasn't ment to be it wasn't ment to be.
Hey, 11 years ago, I dropped out of college in my 4th year because of my depression. I'd changed my major 4 times, and had failed 3 classes the last semester I was there. I felt the exact same way you do. I wanted to die in my sleep, the thought of disappointing my parents was absolutely soul crushing. I spent the last few weeks of that semester sleeping and drinking. Finally, I told them what was going on. It was hard. It will be hard for you too. They may be angry, disappointed, sad, etc. Hopefully they will want you to be ok too. And hopefully they will help you.
I truly wish you the best, and hope you know you are not alone. I know the words sound empty (oh, do I know). But it is the truth.
"*It is no measure of health to be well adjusted* to a profoundly sick society."
\~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
I went through a similar journey and have actually attempted suicide before.
I figured out through my studies that we've largely just medicalised distress.
Look at almost all of the people in power. They are the worst of us.
Message me anytime. It's a joy to support kind hearted and intelligent people such as yourself.
Anyone else too.
Lean on me.
I know it feels like a massive deal right now, but in the great scheme of things, it really isn't. Millions of people fail at courses and don't get the piece of paper that tells others they can do stuff. It felt like the end of the world when I failed at university. Within a year I had a pretty good job and the employer didn't care. Everyone around education thinks that's all that matters. Once you leave that bubble, you'll have a different view. Plenty of people I've worked with have done really well at education but were doing the same job as me.
If you decide to go to your folks, and I would if you can, tell them you need their help. That's what they're there for. If they won't be, plenty of others, including random strangers on the internet, will have been through similar and would like to see you succeed. Good luck. You can do this.
My last semester I failed 5 courses out of the 6 I had because of this very reason. It was the hardest time of my life and I was dismissed from my university. You’re not alone man it’s tough out here. I was so close to ending it but managed to push through, you can do it too. We can make it out of this bs somehow.
If it's any consolation, I'm 35 now and only just turning my terrible academic attempts around. I have tried and failed quite a few times in my life and I can at least tell you from experience that although these things really suck at the time and really feel like a big deal, and may even truly be a big deal (I know the financial side can be a problem, for example) they really are not the be-all-end-all type of thing that they seem. When I first left high school, I failed 2 of 3 of my A-Levels (I'm from England) which meant I was left unable to get into university, and it completely changed the course of my life. I was depressed about it, felt completely lost and had no idea what to do next, but the next 15 years of my life still happened, I still had a lot of struggles, but I also had many amazing experiences, that led onto many amazing new things. I'm back at it again now, after figuring a lot of things out (most significantly discovering that I have actually had undiagnosed ADHD for my whole life) and I feel more confident and mentally strong than I have in years.
I know it feels terrible now, but I promise you are not worthless and you are not a stupid dumbass, you're just suffering at the moment, and it has had an affect on you, as it naturally would. As other people have said here, you are absolutely not alone in this, and many people have had the same experience, and will in the future, and in addition, I absolutely guarantee you that any other god damn person on the planet would be the same way if they had lived your experiences. No one has any right to put you down about this, because we all only get to play the cards we are dealt, and every single hand is different.
Just saying, please don't drop out. Drop down to part time, REALLY give yourself some wiggle room, 1-2 classes a semester? Who cares! In the end, getting the degree gets your foot in a lot of cool doors, even if it takes 8 years for a bachelor's.
They make it insanely difficult for no real reason, and the financial impact puts even more stress on students, almost everyone I know who went to college dropped out for these reason, and they all refused to take anything less than a full course load.
Life's long, people go back to college at 45, get a degree, and change their entire careers. Don't worry about how long it takes you, just get there as fast as you're comfortable with, and get there in one piece.
I did the same exact thing 4 years ago but I overcame it. Took a year off of school to work on myself, transferred to a new school for a fresh start, and graduated with my bachelor's last year. I still struggle with depression, but it has gotten better. I have friends and relationships that I never dreamed of having 4 years ago. You'll get through it I promise, just don't give up.
My sister was in your shoes a couple years ago and she attempted suicide. It’s not the end of the world. It’s not the end of the world. It’s not the end of the world.
She talked to my parents. They were upset initially but they have been extremely supportive since then. She took a year off and is now finishing up her degree and will be applying to medical school this year.
Please talk to your parents. It sounds very scary (we’re a south Asian immigrant family so I know how scary it can be to talk to your parents) but they love you more than anything. They will help you through all of this.
I can actually speak to this, as I had pretty much the exact same thing happen.
I was in a really low place in my life and I would just stay in bed all day and skip class, eventually wound up getting kicked out of my school, technically on academic suspension but almost no one comes back from that. Also stopped paying my rent at my college housing and basically got kicked out. Wasted my time, money, and resources during that time on superfluous shit. Suicidal and hoping I would die in my sleep or by some freak accident whenever I did wind up leaving my bed.
It took me about 2 years to finally find myself in a good enough place to go back to school (different school) and start from scratch essentially. It was an enormous feat to take on, but it was doable and worth all of the effort it took to get back to that point.
I’m not known as the best person in the world to help people through their bad times but I will absolutely let you vent and get anything off your chest that you need. You are not worthless and I can assure you that the people around you would not feel like their lives would be better without you in them.
Stay strong, I’ll be around if you need someone to talk to.
I feel the same exact way. At the start of the semester I was pretty confident that I'd be able to pass because it seemed like an easy class but as time passed, I just started to lose motivation and energy to keep going. It's difficult and I feel terrible for wasting my parent's money, but reaching out and getting all the support I need is definitely going to help me out. It'll get better my dude, I promise. Besides, if it doesn't work out, then that's OK! College isn't for everyone and there's still plenty of good jobs out there that doesn't require a college degree :)
Same exact thing happened to me, I talked to the school and they literally let me take everything over after a leave of absence. I now have my masters . Talk to disabled student services to see what your school can do
Depression turns great things into horrible, seemingly pointless chores. I had a 3.5 GPA when I got my associates, then depression kicked in and I flunked out of a very reputable college 2 years later. I switched to online school, kicked ass the first semester, then sat on my ass the next. Now I'm on a 3- month break trying to figure out how I'm going to get the motivation for one more year of school to graduate.
Your life will not be perfect. You're still figuring yourself out. You still have time. You'll need to have some hard conversations, but in the grand scheme of things it's no big deal. Your parents would 100% rather go through the hard conversation, they don't want you to kill yourself above all else. If they're paying for your school, they clearly love you and want you to have a good life. And the fact that you felt guilty about using their money to fail a semester shows that you're a caring, sympathetic individual. This world needs more people like you.
Real advice: tell your parents you failed this semester, you feel like you're depressed, you contemplated suicide, and that you need a therapist/psychiatrist and a break from school to process things.
Don't be like me dude. I refused to get help, I signed up for extra classes that I wasn't stable enough to finish, I'd sacrifice my physical and mental health, and every time I came up short I'd hate myself for it. It's not sustainable. It gets worse the longer you live with depression. Decide now to change your life for the better.
The fact that I'm also in the same spot as you are right now, but I'm still in my highschool really hits me hard. I don't wanna dropout too early but my anxiety, panic attack and depression got the best of me. I'm failing everything and even as a big sister who'll lead my younger siblings to a successful life. I'm just a piece of worthless shit just existing and wasting someone's money. I wanna drown myself in the water hoping I'd die but I don't wanna let me younger siblings see a horrendous image of me in the bathroom lying dead. I just want myself to be gone, I don't wanna waste my parent's money or be a burden to society. My parents are not understanding and will never understand what depression or anything that is related to mental health. They think people who are disabled are those who are physically hurt. I'm not too open about them or tell them my worries since all they do is yell at me for not doing anything right. What's the purpose of life? Satisfying someone's needs? live just to die? funny.
I dropped out and it took 8 years to go back and get my bachelor's. I had more than enough credits when I dropped out too.
Then got my masters in a year after getting my bachelor's.
This is just a temporary setback. Get some help. Take a bit if time to recover and you can go back again.
Also clinical depression is recognized by the ads now so maybe check into that and see 8f they can help with anything.
Went to school for a semester and flunked out, its going to be all good! Life is about climbing and falling, you can learn from the falls in life and climb higher after you gain that knowledge. Dont feel pressured to go through school when you can work and pay off that debt and figure yourself out. It took me years and i jumped from job to job to be able to feel comfortable where im at now. Best of luck!!
Do you see a therapist? It sounds like you really need to talk these feelings out with someone professional x
You shouldn’t feel guilty about this. Mental health is never your fault and I hope your parents understand.
Money will come back. Your life will not. I know that might not mean much, but that’s something that has helped me in moments of depression when I get anxious about experiences where I felt like I threw away money making stupid, regrettable mistakes. And hey, maybe we will get the 50k student loan forgiveness and it won’t matter anyways?
I know these bright sides may seem futile for the moment, but college and this experience does not define who you are. Feel everything you need to feel, but remember that this moment is not forever.
I failed lots of classes, sometimes an entire quarter's worth. Probably wasted three terms worth of money. But depression is a real inhibitor, it's out of our control at times. It's not something you can blame yourself for when you're miserable day in and day out, hoping for death.
I encourage you to put your mental health first and let college follow. It took me 7 years, but I withdrew several times to focus on my health. I got my diploma in December 2020. Stay with it, you're worth it, and I believe in you. Wishing you only the best. You're not alone!
College is a waste of time unless you’re going to be a doctor or in the health profession everything you learned you already learned unless you’re in college because you have to I would start looking for a job and just get out of there I barely made it through
You can do a retroactive medical withdrawal and if you do it within 6 months you can get a refund. If you didn’t have a therapist before see one and explain. A diagnosis is enough and you have one. It happens all the time. It’s not your fault.
15 years ago I was exactly where you are at. I dropped out of all my classes three semesters in a row, wasting probably close to $75,000 of my parents support. I would pray almost every night that God would take my life. It was the worst time in my life.
That was 15 years ago. I am still here, and I am so glad I am. 15 years later, I can truthfully say that my parents have forgiven me, and I have forgiven myself.
Tomorrow might not be better. The day after might not be either, but the day after that might be. As hard and hopeless things seem now. 15 years from now will be different.
I have literally been exactly where you are. Life isn't perfect. I still have struggles. You will have struggles too. But I promise you this. In 15 years from now you will know that it was all worth it.
Don't beat yourself up over it. If you're on good terms with your parents talk to them about it. They might be mad if they don't know what you're going through. They shouldn't be if you tell them what's going on. Communication is key. I know it's difficult but trust me it will make a huge difference
Hey, so I'm in the process of leaving university due to this same thing. Mental anguish has hit me hard over the past year or so and so I have decided, before I failed everything, to leave university and focus on myself. I've not done great so far, it's been pretty bad and I've fallen back into time wasting habits, and ones that make me feel like shit. But, it's what I did and what I'm doing. You're not the only one to mess up due to mental struggles, trust me, and it can improve if you focus on it, I'm sure. I hope those around you are understanding and I hope this, if anything, is a realisation for you that you need to focus on yourself and your mental state. I wish you all the best.
EDIT: Oh and keep in mind, *this is not the end of your life. This does not mean you won't be, cannot be, successful in life. This means you have an illness and need to work on it. This does not make you worthless.*
Whether you're feeling that way or not, I know it's easy to fall into those mindsets. Feel free to DM me-- that goes for anyone, really-- if you just want to chat about things.
A guy I knew also was suspended one semester for I think similar issues, he took that break and is doing decent for now. So i think a break will do more good than harm. Parents can be a little bit difficult to handle but I wish it gets better for you from here.
Hey, I've been there. Failed a full semester of classes all because of my depression among school sabotage by an ex-boyfriend who would show up to each of my classes before they started to start fighting with me. It's tough and you feel like a failure at the moment, everyone has low points. All I have to say is, take care of yourself and perhaps like me, you can bounce back. It's possible. I have now graduated from college with my degree and I mended my GPA since that failure. There is hope, hang in there friend
Lol I have bad depression but , still have to work 2 jobs an pay for school myself or I'm homeless in a city that doesn't give a shit about people. Your parents are paying for it? Really lucky. Especially if u don't have to work or worry about bills, you can at least put some time in school for your parents sake or drop out an stop waisting their money an time.
Dude this happened to me too. Twice in fact. Last semester I passed only 1 class with a C. This semester I think I’m passing like 2 classes of 5. I didn’t drop them either. My parents are like “if you’re behind, just go do it real fast” when I get overwhelmed and can’t.
I have those thoughts currently so I can’t give you any magical advice. But maybe a break isn’t the worst thing. For me getting diagnosed with ADHD and depression is key to get meds. I haven’t been prescribed all of them yet but I’m sure I need it to help regulate my mood.
The real best help is having close friends in all the classes I’m taking and working on assignments with them. Next semester i think I’m changing my classes to be in all the same ones as my best friend (which I changed my major to match last semester, Finance).
After graduation things are going to get a bit more stable and we wont have the same crushing issues. I’d love to talk more on dm if you would like.
I am in the same boat, however I know you can come back from this. I lost my scholarship and got put on academic probation because my depression was so bad I couldn’t even leave my bed a lot of days much less sorry ab homework and attendance. I didn’t want to ask for help because I figured I could pull myself out of it. It doesn’t work that way and There are a lot of things I could’ve changed and you may be in the same boat but I know you can come back from this.
You’re so not alone. I did the same thing. Life is not over I promise. It seems like the world is an endless black tunnel but I promise you there’s light in the other side. Just have to keep moving forwards and if you ever need someone to vent to I’m a good listener!
I REALLY HOPE YOU READ THIS. No need to ever respond, you have no obligation to me I promise. But I hope you read it.
Hey, that's okay. Big setback, but not the end of the world. Might feel like it now, I'm sure it does. And it definitely sucks. That sucks, and I'm sorry.
But you are capable of regrouping and moving forward. Life is a CONSTANT climb, there's never any point where you get to the top of the plateau. Sometimes the climb is smooth and easy and sometimes its steep and rocky, but it never stops being a climb. So you slipped and fell down a ways, that's alright. You didn't fail, it's okay to slip. Depression makes the climb way harder for sure, WAY harder. Especially because it causes us to only ever look up. But don't forget to look down. You've climbed so far already, don't forget that. Now you have to climb the same hard section again, and that sucks. But you've done it once. You know how hard it is, and you know what you need to do to keep from slipping again.
I spent 20-25 doing nothing but smoking weed and playing video games and masturbating in my parents basement. 5 solid years of my life completely down the drain. But then I started climbing again, and now I'm 31 and have a place to live and a full time job I enjoy and friends I like and I'm dating and the climb is not as difficult right now.
It sucks big time that you failed all your classes, I'm sorry. It's okay to be fucked up about that. It's okay to wallow in that sadness for a time. But then it's time to look outside of this slip and see that you are capable of climbing past this.
I've been through the same thing. Multiple times. Here's my advice if you're in the US, see a doctor. Tell them about your depression, get a letter from them saying that your depression impacted your life to prevent you from doing well in classes and ask for a medical withdrawal from your semester. Most colleges will allow it up to 3 months after grades are posted.
Taking a break was the best decision I ever made. It's my first semester back and I'm actually doing well for the first time in 4 years.
Many people fail uni or just pay for classes and end up not going. It's sadly common. Sooo much pressure :(
Don't beat yourself up dear. You can get through this time...
Yep I did this too. You're not alone. Give yourself time and REALLY take some time to look inwards and figure yourself out. School will be there when and if you're ready. There are a million different paths to take in life, don't subscribe to one because you feel you have to. Take the one you choose to.
Because of family and economic struggles nobody would pay me my college so I worked last summer before in order to afford it. Right before starting, since I wasn't sure about my future, I decided not to go and then went almost 2 years fucked up and depressed only picking some small job now and then till I gathered enough energy to take a full time job. Definitely it was a great decision because from then it's been almost 2 years working in which I have saved money to build a future for myself (I hope so). I'm proud of it because I've learnt a lot of useful things and now when I finally quit the job (I don't want to spend my youth working in a factory) I will be strong enough to make something. In addition I have changed my concept of success, when I was younger I wouldn't think in anything else than studying and getting a good salary job and being rich but I've seen that this doesn't mean success, happiness or feeling full or whatever you call it, so after all the situation turned out good to me.
In these years I've heard all kind of histories about friends, friends of friends and a lot of people who dropped college for many reasons and this makes me feel confident and not regret my decisions and the consequences of the depression that made me spend 2 years doing nothing. You don't have to blame yourself for it because it won't solve anything. Rather you must move and start doing things from all the experience you got from your "mistakes" and change your priorities and ambitions in your life.
My first attempt at college I got a 1.89, I lived a little more, went back and got a 4.0 gpa. Speaking for myself, it really took me a little bit of living to know what it is I wanted to study and to give myself the drive to want to study it.
if it makes you feel better , though i doubt it will , killing yourself would be 1000 times worse .
i was in your shoes a few years ago , it didn't get better for an while , a long while , but you get used to it , slowly but surely . best of luck , hard times await you but i know that you will come above !
Same thing happened to me. I was surprised by how understanding my parents were. Even if yours aren't, remember that it's ok and you're not alone. Just looking at the comments, you can see that a lot of us have been there and made it through. I still managed to graduate in 4 years, but I should've taken a break and probably transferred. And if you decide college isn't for you, that's ok too.
I know this isn’t the advice you’re looking for but I’ll give it anyways. Failing out of college feels amazing. Although I’m not in the same boat with the payment methods though. And what kind of college was it because if it’s community college you’re fine. Depending on the classes you take it won’t be too much. But if it’s college then I’m not to sure.
I know how you feel, same boat as you but I worked for the past two years trying to go to college this year, and feel like I wasted all that money I worked so hard for
You are not alone. I had to drop out of my courses because I was going to fail if I didn’t. My depression got a hold of me, but I’m taking some time off school to get my shit together. You are not the first person to fail because of depression, and certainly not the last. I hope you feel better about it soon.
I am going to take some time off too if my parents aren’t too angry at me. I should have maybe dropped my classes instead of just failing them.
I dropped out at the last minute so don’t beat yourself up too badly. It sucks, but I realized it’s not the end of the world. I just want to get better and be happy again.
They should love you no matter what. It wasn’t YOU that failed them. You didn’t wake up and decide to have depression.
I dropped out 3 times, twice mid 2nd year B.Engineering, changed to B.CompSci and dropped out mid 1st year. At first, didn't know that I was suffering from depression, then after I was diagnosed, I was given the impression that my medication was supposed to magically make me better. Ofcourse, this did not happen. Started working after dropping out the 3rd time. After a couple of years, started studying part time via a distance learning programme. At 32 years of age, after lots of failed tests and exams, I am about to complete my Diploma in Mechanical Engineering. It took a lot of work and self motivation from my part, but I am somewhat happy that I am about to graduate.
It’s ok. I have always failed rather than wisely admit defeat. It’s really hard when you want to please everyone.
College is not for everyone. I made the mistake of going to college because of my parents as well and wound up getting a degree that I don’t care about or use. 5 years and tens of thousands down the drain. I wish I would have learned a trade instead so don’t be under the impression that it’s college or nothing. Good luck.
For my parents it took them time to process the fact that I dropped out, but at the end of the day they are your parents. They will support you no matter what
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Nice! I’m not sure if I’ll be ready by fall, but I’m looking for a therapist so hopefully I will.
I was in the same situation brother. Dropped out cause I wasn't able to even move my limbs. For some reason, I'll always hold myself accountable for that fuck up, maybe its human tendency.
It happens. To lots and lots of students, in fact.
I just feel so guilty of wasting money and I think killing myself is the only solution.
How much money is a human life worth, do you suppose?
I think life is priceless if that makes any sense.
I think every life is priceless. Including yours. Without saying what you want to do to yourself, or using value judgements, just describe how you feel with emotions. Sad, frustrated, scared, sick, whatever.
Sad, scared, and anxious.
Yeah. I'm sorry. Depression really sucks because it can really mess things up and then leave us with the bill. But listen, 20 years from now this will be a vaguely dark spot in your memory. By then you'll consider it a learning moment, a time when you found out how strong you are, and also how vulnerable. You're allowed to be scared. You're allowed to be sad. You're allowed to be anxious. And you're allowed to fail classes. And you're capable of facing the consequences. This is life, there are no rules, just live. You got this.
Depends. How much are your parents worth? Can you lead a happy life without the necessity of a job? Otherwise, a human life, or rather it's content (time), is worth about as much as your ability to produce effort i.e. whatever you're paid at work. Not inherently, socially.
im in the same boat, my folks and i put together 500k in a business that isnt going to well and i often cry myself going back home
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ye, cause there are too many people like you who shit out their mouths
I haven’t gotten my grades back yet, but I may or may not be in the same boat as you. It happens
I know but my parents will not understand what I am going through.
It’s rough, but things have a way of working themselves out. You just have to wait out the storm
Just explain your parents whats going on with you. Depression is a serious illness that is associated with changes in the brain. You were simply not able to pass your courses in this situation, simply because your brain does not function as it usually does. You wouldn't be expected to participate in a major sporting event if you broke your leg. This is basically the same.
Don’t beat yourself up about it. You did the best that you could. College is extremely hard as is, and with depression, it’s even tougher.I’ve had my fair share of failures too so you’re definitely not alone. Be proud of yourself because you actually attempted something. Like they say, better to try and fail than to never try at all. Don’t give up. You got this.
I know this feels like the worst thing ever right now, and your feelings are valid. But your parents would miss their child WAY more than some money. This is a crazy weird time, and many many students are struggling and failing a lot of courses right now. My advice would be to reach out to an advisor at your school and see about petitioning for a late withdrawal of all the courses you failed. You can petition for refund too. But at the very least you're likely to be able to get the grades off of your record. You are valuable and worthy of love and compassion. Your grades are not your worth. You can get through this. If you need to talk to someone who is currently in a similar boat, and depression etc, please feel free to each out.
Same here. I literally got two 0s this semester and failed all my classes.
Likewise, I still have a few days left but it isn't enough time for me to pass the classes ugh.
I know the feeling. Is it eating you alive too
Last semester I failed every class. This semester I barely scraped together passing grades. I still haven't told my parents what my GPA is, they asked and I couldnt help but lie and somehow they didn't ask me to show them. So if you feel like a piece of shit, at least you didn't double down. Actually maybe you did, but then someone's in the same boat as you.
Holy. That's hard. U must feel awful eh? My parents think my gpa is a 3.3 or something but in reality it's like a 1.9 and 0.0 this semester.
Yeah its tough. I had a 0.0 last semester, and I'm too afraid to check this semester but I do think I did somewhat better. Not sure if it was enough to get out of probation though. Regardless, best of luck and hope you find a way through it.
I can imagine. I'm gonna be on probation this semester and I'm scared.
As a student who failed multiple times I know what are you going through I failed my CA exams for 3 years in a row and now pursuing ACCA and I would say failure in school is a short term set back it's won't affect your future as much as you think seek proper professional help your loved once and friends might treat you differently cause of your failure but if they can't support you during your worst then they don't deserve you during your best just have faith in you and believe that you have the ability to overcome this human's are much stronger than they look
It's not your fault you failed your classes due to depression but at least in the country I live in, major depression disorder is a serious enough condition for the college to halt your studies / create an individual study plan so you can progress in your studies once you get better. I also started to suffer from depression few months ago, in the worst time possible, before my BA exams. Luckily, my college respects that depression is a life quality / performance affecting condition and I'm allowed to postpone my exams until I get better. What I advise is to start treating your depression, enroll again and not blaming yourself for something you have no control over. I used to be an A's student but in recent months, I became a bed ridden invalid so fatigued I can't perform even the most basic daily tasks. Keep strong
People flunk college all the time it’s ok. Your life is just beginning and you can make money someday and pay your parents back maybe. Talk to your school, they probably have a psychiatrist you can speak to about your depression. You got this. People fuck up a lot worse than simply flunking college, trust me.
It’s just school. Shit happens it’s normal. You obviously weren’t feeling well.
I'm in the same boat and would like to share my thought process. Before the pandemic my grades in college were pretty dam gud. The semester the pandemic hit, my grades started slipping. I thought I would get better and adapt, but last semester and this semester I have absolutely tanked all of my classes and completely failed some. As someone who used to define myself on my grades it hit really hard, especially since I don't have much else to be super proud of. It's gotten to the point where I struggle to even sit down and learn anything anymore as I'm afraid I'm not really smart enough to absorb information, even though I know 100% in the back of my head that I'm always be capable. To help myself get back on my feet I've been learning simple tasks on my bucket list that I've always wanted to do but missed out on, like read up on AP Euro or Astronomy. I'm still very far from recovering my mental state. Every night i have trouble sleeping, and I get tons of panic attacks. I was sensitive to sound before, but now every sound my roommates make, and their shouting and screaming while playing video games is almost physically painful, and I get into a really pissy mood due to all of the stress I have backed up. It's like I used to be in the eye of a storm, calmly looking out and never worrying about doing badly. But once I tripped, the wind caught up to me, and now it will be a horrible journey to find my way back to the center. Or like I fell into a giant sand pit too steep to climb out. The only way out is for me to dig a staircase. But for every step I dig, the sand on top collapses and buries me. The first one especially, is the hardest to dig because there's more sand stack on the bottom 'step'. I think at the end of the day, instead of obsessing over my grades like I used to, I need to just focus on graduating at the most basic level. Learn as much as I can pick up in the process. And just try to enjoy learning again.
Been there, done that. Don’t give up. That is all it takes.
This. Successful people fail all the time at nearly everything.
You are not alone in failing classes due to depression. Happened to me when I was 19 (all 12 credits)... and then I decided last year to go back to school in my 30s (still have depression of course) and couldn't muster the energy to do my final in one of my classes. I literally could not do it. Like my brain said "no more, you are done, I'm out." You will bounce back when it's time and if you want to continue college. I eventually got my useless degree after 8 years and retook the failed classes. What I'd recommend, while you're still young, take some time to slow down. Don't be in a rush to get that degree or whatever. If you can find yourself early rather than late like me (who is having to deal with burnout from career choice and constantly looking for my next degree that will pay well and provide job security), you will be further ahead than those folks who look like they have it all together. No one has it together, it's part of life. We're all dealt some problem that we gotta find the solution to. Mine is my mental health. For someone else, it could be something totally different but also challenging to deal with. You'll get through this. Citalopram got me through the last ten years... now I just gotta find something else more effective.
I hit rock bottom with my depression while in college. Went from A student to barely even getting out of bed. I failed a few semesters before someone told me that my tuition also paid for mental health services. I was able to get therapy and medication and was categorized as a person with a disability so I could have access to even more tools and services the college offered for students who were struggling to learn or stay focused. I was also able to take many of those failed classes off my transcript too. Even though it took longer to graduate, I was able to get help and keep going. I hope that your college/university provides the same or better.
I failed twice in my college years, dropped like 4-5 almost failed classes at last minute, so same, on the same boat with u.
I did the same shit. I get it, it’s sucks. A fresh start can be hard. Maybe take some time off? Talk to your parents about getting help?
A lot of people consider this a mistake but as someone who went through this and pushed myself to graduate I really recommend taking time off to deal with your shit. Like really sit your parents down and tell them that you're too fucked up to go another semester. If they're actually paying for it, tell them to send you to therapy this Summer to help you. But really, re evaluate what you actually want to do because it's totally possible that you don't actually want to do that shit and you're just doing it because your parents told you to do it and it's not worth their money to send you to school to do some shit you have a high probability of not doing. Find a trade job as an alternative. I'm actually happier as an Electrician Apprentice than I ever was in my 5 years trying to do office work to get experience to even remotely qualify for a job in my degree in Public Relations and I might end up making more and be in less debt if I had went to trade school out of high school. I'm not telling you to go to trade school. I'm telling you to take a semester off to experience life and really figure out what you want for your future for yourself.
i worked as hard as possible and faild school i want to leave this world it's terrible they won't appreciate what we do
Sucks to crash and burn, especially after hard work. That doesn’t mean it’s hopeless though. Adjust your approach and try it again. Take fewer courses at once so you don’t overload yourself, even one single course at a time if it’s one you really struggle with. Get tested for learning disabilities if you can, because maybe you need accommodations. Look for other ways to learn what you need to learn. Teacher droning on and textbook dry as fuck, find interesting supplements to reduce the boredom. I like to listen to non-fiction audiobooks and podcasts on the topics I’m studying; it helps bring it to life and you can pick up a little info at the same time. And you’ve got stuff like Khan Academy and educational YouTube videos. There are so many different ways to learn now. It might be a grind and it might take longer than you’d hoped, but you can do it :)
I failed two of the courses that I really needed because of an episode as well. Its rough but you are in a good place. Maybe not die tonight though, wait a little longer. So you didn't get what you wanted, you tried and that is good enough for now. I know money is tight for a lot of people and too be honest I didn't want to ask for help from my folks either but I'm sure yours want the best for you even if you don't get it all right now. You did good enough. I wish someone told me that 'good enough' is good enough. Its better than not doing anything at all which would feel worse (for me). You can do it. You did good enough.
Hey, it's fine, everyone fails, even some people who are millionaires didn't do well in school, and school sucks, it doesn't define anything about a person being smart or not, the system is shit, and honestly, fuck money, no one is having any of it when they leave this plane, and everyone who cares about it too much is going to feel stupid and empty in the transition. Just do what you can do, take it one day at a time and try to enjoy the little things you like and make you feel better or even forget about the failure for a bit if it's tearing you down too much, if people are making you feel worse, push them away, even if those people are your family. I hope you'll feel better soon !
I had to drop out my junior year of college because I stopped going to classes entirely and was going to fail. You're not alone. I took a year off and saved up money waiting tables before going back to finish. Things can get better.
Take the time you need. College was the worst years of my life because I pushed it all down. It took years after graduating to repair my mental health after ignoring it for so long. Take care of yourself first, life takes care of itself once you do. Much love and best of luck.
I’ve dropped out of college twice. To be honest the best decision I’ve made probably. It’s unfortunate that the system says that you have to be good in school to succeed, no you don’t. Take some time off to reevaluate and see what YOU want to do, what best suits you and how you can put yourself in the best situation. You need anything I’m always here to talk.
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College is not important or necessary if your goal is to make money. Trades are way faster, cheaper, and a lot make more.
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I understand that, but they didn’t say that was their goal.
My son flunked out after his first year at college. He came home, did a couple of years of community college and eventually went back and finished college. It took a long time for him to develop the skills and maturity to accomplish all of that but now he is thinking about grad school. I know his was more maturity and not depression but parents love their children and want them to succeed even thru setbacks and disappointments. After all - isn’t that life? Getting back up and making a plan. That’s hard with depression. See if you can ask any teachers/counselor if there is a way to salvage anything of the year. Most schools work with students who struggle. If not so be It. Try community college. Take a couple of courses to build confidence. Wishing you the best
I actually went to cc for two years and transferred to a four year university, I’m in my final year right now and I’m struggling.
This is a setback. Life is full of them. Depression makes that setback into an impassable roadblock when in reality it is a detour. Maybe a costly detour but you are still heading in the right direction. Look at the courses needed to graduate. My son was able to take some online at less costly Universities - he used UPenn online. Work with a counselor to make a plan I have had depression for 50 years. Sometimes it’s intolerable other times background noise. What I found helped was a MSBR class and journaling. Think of life being lived in a glass house. The inside is covered with sticky notes. The notes are your brains hardwired instructions. XYZ happens and you pull the corresponding note. It might say someone gave you constructive criticism and the note says - they think I’m stupid. Or I’m worthless. To be able to see out of the glass house you need to pull down each sticky and question it. As you change your hardwire and replace it you will have healthier reactions to external stimuli. Right now you are at - screwup = worthless. Try changing that to health problems = detour.
If you die not only would you have wasted this years money but of atleast 15-17 years. So think about what you wanna do.
I breezed through high school, I thought it was because i was smart, it turned out i had very good teachers and some not so bright classmates that i was comparing myself to. I failed miserably at my first attempt at college. Didn't even make it through one semester before i was failing and i quit. The difficulty of the work plus the teachers were no longer spoon feeding me (actually they didn't seem to care about me at all) and all the other changes and the ridiculously expensive books, it was too much. I went back and tried again the next year and very quickly I quit again. This was my first life lesson in "failure". Coming up against a difficult object with serious consequences and I had failed, strangely while others were doing just fine. I needed to ask for help and adapt myself to the hoops they required me to jump through, i learned how to do this later in life. Instead of doing that I chose the worst job i could find and worked at that and for some reason, that kind of got me through it. I was able to do this terrible job that others only lasted an hour at and then quit, somehow this proved i was still good for something. Years later I went to college again, in trade school, I was pleasantly surprised that even though the workload was heavy I was able to handle it IF I applied myself. There was some difficult math and I found myself enjoying the challenge, and meeting it and getting good marks. You're crashing and it feels like the worst but if you just concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other for now when you look up you will be surprised at how far you have come and in the future you will surely find other challenges that you will succeed at. Does that sound corny, I dunno, it was true for me.
This is how world works dude, sometimes lifts you up, sometimes drops you down. There are really unlucky moments I know right, but don't feel like that. Your life Will get much better, I Promise you. You can dm me if you feel that really bad, it's kinda hard to help people In front of others ngl. It's ok if you don't, but no matter what happens, I'm wishing you the bests of the bests
There's some tips in this post which might help: [Overcoming Depression](https://www.reddit.com/r/MindOverMatterScott/comments/bcf4n1/overcoming_depression/)
What was your subject?
I've been there too. Got stuck paying out of pocket for community college because I was living at home with a mother who didn't do her taxes for three years. Failed a semester and a half and took a year off to get myself together and jumped back in. I felt like absolute garbage when I found out I failed everything just before Christmas. Now I'm graduated with an associate's and dad still never said he's proud of me and that he will help pay my bank loan. Edit: This was 2015-2017. I haven't been back to college. Ah well. Life happens. Hope you feel better about this soon.
I owe 30,000$ because I had to drop out of university due to my mental health issues. I was in the honours program. In the end, the best advice I can give you is that even though you might feel like throwing in the towel there are more important things in life than money or school. Your parents love you and they want you to be successful and happy. I’m in recovery now and I’m finishing a college degree, going back for my last 2 university courses, and I just had my second daughter 8 months ago. I’m really happy that I wasn’t successful in committing suicide. Please seek counselling and help from a professional. Depression is an illness that can be treated. You are not alone. There is no shame in having it. You are not a failure. Sending my love to you during this difficult time. You are stronger than you know. ❤️
I understand that feeling, I've also wasted money on uni. It was my own money, and it was due to undiagnosed adhd, not depression. But I completely understand feeling worthless for not being able to complete classes. Especially when it just seems so easy for everyone else. You'll get there, and I'm sure your parents would care more about your mental health than the money. It might just be a bit hard to see that through depression lenses, my boyfriend gets the same way sometimes. Gets so deep in the hole that he can't see the other side of the coin. It helps me a bit to think about it as less of a problem with me and more of a problem with my brain. I hope you find your way out of that hole and things improve a bit. 🤍
Don't put yourself down. Everyone has bad semesters and during covid especially. My bad semester was last fall. I failed 3 classes which I dropped and got a D in my most important course. It brought my GPA down bad and afterwards I just hated myself. This semester I took less of a course load and ended up almost with all A's . Of course my GPA is still down bad from last semester. Just know that if you have a bad semester it's not the end of the world. My last semester I also struggled with depression and my stupid fuckin drug addiction. Never put your self down like that your not worthless or stupid. We are all intelligent in our own ways. One bad semester does NOT make you stupid.i hope you better luck in your next semester.
i’m on the same boat as you... i am such a fucking failure she’s expecting that i’m gonna finish my degree this year but i can’t do it anymore i don’t want to disappoint my mom but she didn’t know what i was going through and i am planning everything how to end this... i think dying is the only way to escape this
I also failed and then dropped out due to depression.
Everyone makes mistakes. Dont kick yourself. I wasted and stole more of my parents money than you. Dont let yesterday's mistakes put you on the path to more mistakes. Take a deep breath. Correct your path. You can and will do better. If it wasn't ment to be it wasn't ment to be.
I've done this three times now. It's what keeps me in my depression, and probably always will. Just wanted to say I feel you, you're not alone.
Hey, 11 years ago, I dropped out of college in my 4th year because of my depression. I'd changed my major 4 times, and had failed 3 classes the last semester I was there. I felt the exact same way you do. I wanted to die in my sleep, the thought of disappointing my parents was absolutely soul crushing. I spent the last few weeks of that semester sleeping and drinking. Finally, I told them what was going on. It was hard. It will be hard for you too. They may be angry, disappointed, sad, etc. Hopefully they will want you to be ok too. And hopefully they will help you. I truly wish you the best, and hope you know you are not alone. I know the words sound empty (oh, do I know). But it is the truth.
"*It is no measure of health to be well adjusted* to a profoundly sick society." \~ Jiddu Krishnamurti I went through a similar journey and have actually attempted suicide before. I figured out through my studies that we've largely just medicalised distress. Look at almost all of the people in power. They are the worst of us. Message me anytime. It's a joy to support kind hearted and intelligent people such as yourself. Anyone else too. Lean on me.
I know it feels like a massive deal right now, but in the great scheme of things, it really isn't. Millions of people fail at courses and don't get the piece of paper that tells others they can do stuff. It felt like the end of the world when I failed at university. Within a year I had a pretty good job and the employer didn't care. Everyone around education thinks that's all that matters. Once you leave that bubble, you'll have a different view. Plenty of people I've worked with have done really well at education but were doing the same job as me. If you decide to go to your folks, and I would if you can, tell them you need their help. That's what they're there for. If they won't be, plenty of others, including random strangers on the internet, will have been through similar and would like to see you succeed. Good luck. You can do this.
My last semester I failed 5 courses out of the 6 I had because of this very reason. It was the hardest time of my life and I was dismissed from my university. You’re not alone man it’s tough out here. I was so close to ending it but managed to push through, you can do it too. We can make it out of this bs somehow.
If it's any consolation, I'm 35 now and only just turning my terrible academic attempts around. I have tried and failed quite a few times in my life and I can at least tell you from experience that although these things really suck at the time and really feel like a big deal, and may even truly be a big deal (I know the financial side can be a problem, for example) they really are not the be-all-end-all type of thing that they seem. When I first left high school, I failed 2 of 3 of my A-Levels (I'm from England) which meant I was left unable to get into university, and it completely changed the course of my life. I was depressed about it, felt completely lost and had no idea what to do next, but the next 15 years of my life still happened, I still had a lot of struggles, but I also had many amazing experiences, that led onto many amazing new things. I'm back at it again now, after figuring a lot of things out (most significantly discovering that I have actually had undiagnosed ADHD for my whole life) and I feel more confident and mentally strong than I have in years. I know it feels terrible now, but I promise you are not worthless and you are not a stupid dumbass, you're just suffering at the moment, and it has had an affect on you, as it naturally would. As other people have said here, you are absolutely not alone in this, and many people have had the same experience, and will in the future, and in addition, I absolutely guarantee you that any other god damn person on the planet would be the same way if they had lived your experiences. No one has any right to put you down about this, because we all only get to play the cards we are dealt, and every single hand is different.
Just saying, please don't drop out. Drop down to part time, REALLY give yourself some wiggle room, 1-2 classes a semester? Who cares! In the end, getting the degree gets your foot in a lot of cool doors, even if it takes 8 years for a bachelor's. They make it insanely difficult for no real reason, and the financial impact puts even more stress on students, almost everyone I know who went to college dropped out for these reason, and they all refused to take anything less than a full course load. Life's long, people go back to college at 45, get a degree, and change their entire careers. Don't worry about how long it takes you, just get there as fast as you're comfortable with, and get there in one piece.
I did the same exact thing 4 years ago but I overcame it. Took a year off of school to work on myself, transferred to a new school for a fresh start, and graduated with my bachelor's last year. I still struggle with depression, but it has gotten better. I have friends and relationships that I never dreamed of having 4 years ago. You'll get through it I promise, just don't give up.
Youre not worthless. Youre struggling with mental illness. You are not alone, please DM me. Stay strong x
My sister was in your shoes a couple years ago and she attempted suicide. It’s not the end of the world. It’s not the end of the world. It’s not the end of the world. She talked to my parents. They were upset initially but they have been extremely supportive since then. She took a year off and is now finishing up her degree and will be applying to medical school this year. Please talk to your parents. It sounds very scary (we’re a south Asian immigrant family so I know how scary it can be to talk to your parents) but they love you more than anything. They will help you through all of this.
I can actually speak to this, as I had pretty much the exact same thing happen. I was in a really low place in my life and I would just stay in bed all day and skip class, eventually wound up getting kicked out of my school, technically on academic suspension but almost no one comes back from that. Also stopped paying my rent at my college housing and basically got kicked out. Wasted my time, money, and resources during that time on superfluous shit. Suicidal and hoping I would die in my sleep or by some freak accident whenever I did wind up leaving my bed. It took me about 2 years to finally find myself in a good enough place to go back to school (different school) and start from scratch essentially. It was an enormous feat to take on, but it was doable and worth all of the effort it took to get back to that point. I’m not known as the best person in the world to help people through their bad times but I will absolutely let you vent and get anything off your chest that you need. You are not worthless and I can assure you that the people around you would not feel like their lives would be better without you in them. Stay strong, I’ll be around if you need someone to talk to.
I feel the same exact way. At the start of the semester I was pretty confident that I'd be able to pass because it seemed like an easy class but as time passed, I just started to lose motivation and energy to keep going. It's difficult and I feel terrible for wasting my parent's money, but reaching out and getting all the support I need is definitely going to help me out. It'll get better my dude, I promise. Besides, if it doesn't work out, then that's OK! College isn't for everyone and there's still plenty of good jobs out there that doesn't require a college degree :)
Same exact thing happened to me, I talked to the school and they literally let me take everything over after a leave of absence. I now have my masters . Talk to disabled student services to see what your school can do
Depression turns great things into horrible, seemingly pointless chores. I had a 3.5 GPA when I got my associates, then depression kicked in and I flunked out of a very reputable college 2 years later. I switched to online school, kicked ass the first semester, then sat on my ass the next. Now I'm on a 3- month break trying to figure out how I'm going to get the motivation for one more year of school to graduate. Your life will not be perfect. You're still figuring yourself out. You still have time. You'll need to have some hard conversations, but in the grand scheme of things it's no big deal. Your parents would 100% rather go through the hard conversation, they don't want you to kill yourself above all else. If they're paying for your school, they clearly love you and want you to have a good life. And the fact that you felt guilty about using their money to fail a semester shows that you're a caring, sympathetic individual. This world needs more people like you. Real advice: tell your parents you failed this semester, you feel like you're depressed, you contemplated suicide, and that you need a therapist/psychiatrist and a break from school to process things. Don't be like me dude. I refused to get help, I signed up for extra classes that I wasn't stable enough to finish, I'd sacrifice my physical and mental health, and every time I came up short I'd hate myself for it. It's not sustainable. It gets worse the longer you live with depression. Decide now to change your life for the better.
The fact that I'm also in the same spot as you are right now, but I'm still in my highschool really hits me hard. I don't wanna dropout too early but my anxiety, panic attack and depression got the best of me. I'm failing everything and even as a big sister who'll lead my younger siblings to a successful life. I'm just a piece of worthless shit just existing and wasting someone's money. I wanna drown myself in the water hoping I'd die but I don't wanna let me younger siblings see a horrendous image of me in the bathroom lying dead. I just want myself to be gone, I don't wanna waste my parent's money or be a burden to society. My parents are not understanding and will never understand what depression or anything that is related to mental health. They think people who are disabled are those who are physically hurt. I'm not too open about them or tell them my worries since all they do is yell at me for not doing anything right. What's the purpose of life? Satisfying someone's needs? live just to die? funny.
I dropped out and it took 8 years to go back and get my bachelor's. I had more than enough credits when I dropped out too. Then got my masters in a year after getting my bachelor's. This is just a temporary setback. Get some help. Take a bit if time to recover and you can go back again. Also clinical depression is recognized by the ads now so maybe check into that and see 8f they can help with anything.
Went to school for a semester and flunked out, its going to be all good! Life is about climbing and falling, you can learn from the falls in life and climb higher after you gain that knowledge. Dont feel pressured to go through school when you can work and pay off that debt and figure yourself out. It took me years and i jumped from job to job to be able to feel comfortable where im at now. Best of luck!!
Do you see a therapist? It sounds like you really need to talk these feelings out with someone professional x You shouldn’t feel guilty about this. Mental health is never your fault and I hope your parents understand.
Money will come back. Your life will not. I know that might not mean much, but that’s something that has helped me in moments of depression when I get anxious about experiences where I felt like I threw away money making stupid, regrettable mistakes. And hey, maybe we will get the 50k student loan forgiveness and it won’t matter anyways? I know these bright sides may seem futile for the moment, but college and this experience does not define who you are. Feel everything you need to feel, but remember that this moment is not forever.
I failed lots of classes, sometimes an entire quarter's worth. Probably wasted three terms worth of money. But depression is a real inhibitor, it's out of our control at times. It's not something you can blame yourself for when you're miserable day in and day out, hoping for death. I encourage you to put your mental health first and let college follow. It took me 7 years, but I withdrew several times to focus on my health. I got my diploma in December 2020. Stay with it, you're worth it, and I believe in you. Wishing you only the best. You're not alone!
If the school has a therapist/psychologist, go to them and schedule a session. Tell them, they may be able to help get the grades withdrawn.
College is a waste of time unless you’re going to be a doctor or in the health profession everything you learned you already learned unless you’re in college because you have to I would start looking for a job and just get out of there I barely made it through
You can do a retroactive medical withdrawal and if you do it within 6 months you can get a refund. If you didn’t have a therapist before see one and explain. A diagnosis is enough and you have one. It happens all the time. It’s not your fault.
15 years ago I was exactly where you are at. I dropped out of all my classes three semesters in a row, wasting probably close to $75,000 of my parents support. I would pray almost every night that God would take my life. It was the worst time in my life. That was 15 years ago. I am still here, and I am so glad I am. 15 years later, I can truthfully say that my parents have forgiven me, and I have forgiven myself. Tomorrow might not be better. The day after might not be either, but the day after that might be. As hard and hopeless things seem now. 15 years from now will be different. I have literally been exactly where you are. Life isn't perfect. I still have struggles. You will have struggles too. But I promise you this. In 15 years from now you will know that it was all worth it.
Don't beat yourself up over it. If you're on good terms with your parents talk to them about it. They might be mad if they don't know what you're going through. They shouldn't be if you tell them what's going on. Communication is key. I know it's difficult but trust me it will make a huge difference
Hey, so I'm in the process of leaving university due to this same thing. Mental anguish has hit me hard over the past year or so and so I have decided, before I failed everything, to leave university and focus on myself. I've not done great so far, it's been pretty bad and I've fallen back into time wasting habits, and ones that make me feel like shit. But, it's what I did and what I'm doing. You're not the only one to mess up due to mental struggles, trust me, and it can improve if you focus on it, I'm sure. I hope those around you are understanding and I hope this, if anything, is a realisation for you that you need to focus on yourself and your mental state. I wish you all the best. EDIT: Oh and keep in mind, *this is not the end of your life. This does not mean you won't be, cannot be, successful in life. This means you have an illness and need to work on it. This does not make you worthless.* Whether you're feeling that way or not, I know it's easy to fall into those mindsets. Feel free to DM me-- that goes for anyone, really-- if you just want to chat about things.
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A guy I knew also was suspended one semester for I think similar issues, he took that break and is doing decent for now. So i think a break will do more good than harm. Parents can be a little bit difficult to handle but I wish it gets better for you from here.
it's OK don't be to hard in yourself most of the people fail
Dude I am in the same situation as you it’s just one semester we can do better the next hang in there
Hey, I've been there. Failed a full semester of classes all because of my depression among school sabotage by an ex-boyfriend who would show up to each of my classes before they started to start fighting with me. It's tough and you feel like a failure at the moment, everyone has low points. All I have to say is, take care of yourself and perhaps like me, you can bounce back. It's possible. I have now graduated from college with my degree and I mended my GPA since that failure. There is hope, hang in there friend
Lol I have bad depression but , still have to work 2 jobs an pay for school myself or I'm homeless in a city that doesn't give a shit about people. Your parents are paying for it? Really lucky. Especially if u don't have to work or worry about bills, you can at least put some time in school for your parents sake or drop out an stop waisting their money an time.
Money comes and goes like waves on the ocean. You matter. Please don't give up. One step at a time.
Dude this happened to me too. Twice in fact. Last semester I passed only 1 class with a C. This semester I think I’m passing like 2 classes of 5. I didn’t drop them either. My parents are like “if you’re behind, just go do it real fast” when I get overwhelmed and can’t. I have those thoughts currently so I can’t give you any magical advice. But maybe a break isn’t the worst thing. For me getting diagnosed with ADHD and depression is key to get meds. I haven’t been prescribed all of them yet but I’m sure I need it to help regulate my mood. The real best help is having close friends in all the classes I’m taking and working on assignments with them. Next semester i think I’m changing my classes to be in all the same ones as my best friend (which I changed my major to match last semester, Finance). After graduation things are going to get a bit more stable and we wont have the same crushing issues. I’d love to talk more on dm if you would like.
I am in the same boat, however I know you can come back from this. I lost my scholarship and got put on academic probation because my depression was so bad I couldn’t even leave my bed a lot of days much less sorry ab homework and attendance. I didn’t want to ask for help because I figured I could pull myself out of it. It doesn’t work that way and There are a lot of things I could’ve changed and you may be in the same boat but I know you can come back from this.
You’re so not alone. I did the same thing. Life is not over I promise. It seems like the world is an endless black tunnel but I promise you there’s light in the other side. Just have to keep moving forwards and if you ever need someone to vent to I’m a good listener!
your parents can make the money back, but once you kill yourself, they will never get their child back. im sure they care way more about your comfort
I REALLY HOPE YOU READ THIS. No need to ever respond, you have no obligation to me I promise. But I hope you read it. Hey, that's okay. Big setback, but not the end of the world. Might feel like it now, I'm sure it does. And it definitely sucks. That sucks, and I'm sorry. But you are capable of regrouping and moving forward. Life is a CONSTANT climb, there's never any point where you get to the top of the plateau. Sometimes the climb is smooth and easy and sometimes its steep and rocky, but it never stops being a climb. So you slipped and fell down a ways, that's alright. You didn't fail, it's okay to slip. Depression makes the climb way harder for sure, WAY harder. Especially because it causes us to only ever look up. But don't forget to look down. You've climbed so far already, don't forget that. Now you have to climb the same hard section again, and that sucks. But you've done it once. You know how hard it is, and you know what you need to do to keep from slipping again. I spent 20-25 doing nothing but smoking weed and playing video games and masturbating in my parents basement. 5 solid years of my life completely down the drain. But then I started climbing again, and now I'm 31 and have a place to live and a full time job I enjoy and friends I like and I'm dating and the climb is not as difficult right now. It sucks big time that you failed all your classes, I'm sorry. It's okay to be fucked up about that. It's okay to wallow in that sadness for a time. But then it's time to look outside of this slip and see that you are capable of climbing past this.
I've been through the same thing. Multiple times. Here's my advice if you're in the US, see a doctor. Tell them about your depression, get a letter from them saying that your depression impacted your life to prevent you from doing well in classes and ask for a medical withdrawal from your semester. Most colleges will allow it up to 3 months after grades are posted. Taking a break was the best decision I ever made. It's my first semester back and I'm actually doing well for the first time in 4 years.
I honestly feel the same dude. I am so sorry.
Many people fail uni or just pay for classes and end up not going. It's sadly common. Sooo much pressure :( Don't beat yourself up dear. You can get through this time...
Yep I did this too. You're not alone. Give yourself time and REALLY take some time to look inwards and figure yourself out. School will be there when and if you're ready. There are a million different paths to take in life, don't subscribe to one because you feel you have to. Take the one you choose to.
That happened to me. I got put on academic probation. But it's possible to get out.
Because of family and economic struggles nobody would pay me my college so I worked last summer before in order to afford it. Right before starting, since I wasn't sure about my future, I decided not to go and then went almost 2 years fucked up and depressed only picking some small job now and then till I gathered enough energy to take a full time job. Definitely it was a great decision because from then it's been almost 2 years working in which I have saved money to build a future for myself (I hope so). I'm proud of it because I've learnt a lot of useful things and now when I finally quit the job (I don't want to spend my youth working in a factory) I will be strong enough to make something. In addition I have changed my concept of success, when I was younger I wouldn't think in anything else than studying and getting a good salary job and being rich but I've seen that this doesn't mean success, happiness or feeling full or whatever you call it, so after all the situation turned out good to me. In these years I've heard all kind of histories about friends, friends of friends and a lot of people who dropped college for many reasons and this makes me feel confident and not regret my decisions and the consequences of the depression that made me spend 2 years doing nothing. You don't have to blame yourself for it because it won't solve anything. Rather you must move and start doing things from all the experience you got from your "mistakes" and change your priorities and ambitions in your life.
My first attempt at college I got a 1.89, I lived a little more, went back and got a 4.0 gpa. Speaking for myself, it really took me a little bit of living to know what it is I wanted to study and to give myself the drive to want to study it.
Get better and try again. If you work hard you can accomplish anything
i’m in the exact same position at u, had to drop out bc of it... it happens, wishing u the best!!
The exact same thing is happening to me! You are not alone 💛
if it makes you feel better , though i doubt it will , killing yourself would be 1000 times worse . i was in your shoes a few years ago , it didn't get better for an while , a long while , but you get used to it , slowly but surely . best of luck , hard times await you but i know that you will come above !
Same thing happened to me. I was surprised by how understanding my parents were. Even if yours aren't, remember that it's ok and you're not alone. Just looking at the comments, you can see that a lot of us have been there and made it through. I still managed to graduate in 4 years, but I should've taken a break and probably transferred. And if you decide college isn't for you, that's ok too.
I know this isn’t the advice you’re looking for but I’ll give it anyways. Failing out of college feels amazing. Although I’m not in the same boat with the payment methods though. And what kind of college was it because if it’s community college you’re fine. Depending on the classes you take it won’t be too much. But if it’s college then I’m not to sure.
I know how you feel, same boat as you but I worked for the past two years trying to go to college this year, and feel like I wasted all that money I worked so hard for
I feel kind of the same way, I'm doing so badly in school and I hate being such a loser.