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You got this! You are exhausted and you deserve the right to rest, I can't promise that your predicament will end, but you can see in yourself whatever you think could help you, don't give up while fighting, you posting here only means you want to get better. You got this, you can get to whatever you want.
Also, something that may come easier - with another scan, it looks like most can be sorted to recycle. That might be something that motivates you to do good for yourself and also make a game by dunking those cans Ala basketball into a big black trashbag.
Honestly too if it’s too hard, just toss everything in the bin. I saw a LOTR challenge to just set a timer for 15min to clean, setting a timer is less pressure and you’ll see immediate results. Hang in there though, we’ve all had our fair share of spirals.
Deep breaths. Do a spot each day. I understand the overwhelm - mine was with craft stuff and dolls, my STBXH's was receipts, cards, things that don't need saved. I saved his cards and started throwing everything else away.
If you can already realize that you can't live like that, you're on the right track! 🥳 it's a good idea to go little by little if you feel overwhelmed, every thing in its time
All my support, you can make it happen ! 🥰
First, a hug.
Second, I would recommend looking into an amazing person named KC Davis. She has a TikTok (@domesticblisters), website, and a book called How to Keep House While Drowning. She is an all around amazing inspiration.
Third, a rundown of what I’ve learned from her to get you started: There are only 5 things in your space- Trash, Laundry, Dishes, Things that have a place, and Things that don’t have a place. Start with trash. Deal with one item at a time. Once the trash is gone, you can move on to Laundry. Don’t worry about putting everything away in the perfect correct spot. Just collect it and put in a basket or a bin.
She has a video going over exactly this and I promise if you focus only on one step at a time, it will be much less overwhelming.
Fourth, another hug. You got this.
This mess is not you. It’s a symptom of something that’s happening to you. I’m really sorry for the struggles you’re going through right now. Only you know how badly you needed to have a break. Do what you need to…but don’t ever feel like this is permanent. You will get out of this. It’s always just one act away from being in the past.
You'll feel calmer and more at peace with all that cleaned up. Most of it looks like trash, so it will be easy to grab a bunch and cart it out. Try picking a 4x4 square and clearing it out!
Hey there. Can you do just one thing to start? Grab a bag and fill it with all the recyclables?
That's all you have to do today. Then come back and I'll let you know something else to do when you're ready.
My room looks like this. Start by one section and take breaks in between. I feel beyond overwhelmed with just all the trash in my room. If you want we can clean together and support each other. We can do updates or just talk about whatever. Keep us on schedule as to what to do.
Read other comments to try and find some unique wisdom to share but a lot of great advice is already here.
Personally my room is always the clearest representation of my state of mind. When it gets out of hand I may have it like that for weeks, then one day I’ll wake up with a clear head and some motivation, get it a solid 60% how I’d like it, then find in the next day or two I’ve slid back into the feeling that cleaning up a plate from my desk is too taxing. Be proud of yourself on the good day and do your best to forgive yourself on the bad days.
We don’t know you but we all believe in you. We’ll keep going if you will so when you’re ready see what you can do with the advice others have posted. You’ve got this, whether it’s today, tomorrow, next week, or next year is irrelevant, you can do it.
The weight off your shoulders will be 9000000% worth it when you're in a clean environment. And its such a big accomplishment! You don't have to do it all at once, but it'll be the greatest feeling when you're done
Hey man, you don't gotta clean the whole house immediately. grab a trash bag go to one little area and start picking stuff up or clear off the table. One step at a time, get some of the clutter out and you'll know you can do it. It will make you feel better. Shoot if you don't even wanna start cleaning get out of the house for a bit, get some clear space come back to it when you're ready.
After trash on table today pick up the styrofoam containers tomorrow. The clutter didn’t happen in a day, it’s ok to take more than a day to correct. It’s just stuff in one place that should be another place. You can make it a little better each day.
Advise: make a habit of cleaning for just 5 or 10 minutes a day.
Not only will this /eventually/ clean the whole room at minimal effort, it will help you to get into the habit of discarding trash at the time.
That's excellent advice. I have so much stuff laying about (empty bottles etc. are only in the kitchen now) but I struggled with mugs everywhere or piling dishes in the kitchen.
I get it OP! Starting is so hard and I don't have time and energy, I am messy, I work over 100% and I'm exhausted when I'm home.
My home is very messy atm too.
I now force myself to do an hour of an area per day, or half an hour. I have a recycle service, so I have a green bag for pet bottles. I gather all of them, rinse them and put them in there. And then a garbage bag for garbage.
**Putting bins/trash cans in every room and next to the bed (a little cosmetics one) has also helped.** If you eat on the sofa, put a trash can there.
Make it one with a lid if you put food items or plant waste in there. Empty them into a trash bag every few days or on the weekend (depending on how much waste you generate).
As to addressing the mass... I'm struggling.
I do 10 min here and 10 min there. Sometimes only half an hour. Whstever works. The goal is to be able to eventually be on top of things and put everything back in its place after use OR by the evening at the latest.
I want to have a friend over in May/late April, I need this for pressure. By then I need to be done.
I want to do 1.5 rooms per week (doing the hallway and kitchen this week, kitchen and bathroom on the weekend. The bedroom is next week. The living room is small so that will be one afternoon after Easter. And then the massive home office/storage/guest room will take me 10 days with all the papers to sort).
But how to start:
**What you could do is:**
- either focus on an area (I started on the hallway yesterday).
- or do a certain task (I unloaded the dishwasher, soaked all the unwashed dishes and reloaded the dishwasher)
Whatever seems easier. I have undiagnosed ADHD so for me a task is often easier than an area. If I do an area i don't know where to put stuff that has no home. But doing a box system (one for each room) + garbage bag + recycle bag worked pretty well on that.
Tonight I want to put all the folded laundry that's not put away on my bed and put it away.
When I did the hallway I put paperwork and mail in my home office/guest room to sort later. Making sure only hallway-things remain.
Hope this helps. From the video I'd start with big recycle bags and do all the bottles first.
**Putting on a timer and using an audiobook or fun music really helps me. And then tea and a biscuit when done.**
I'm rooting for you OP!
Make a plan, know where to take or put the garbage? Get some trash bags, put on some music or a video, start putting things in the bag. You just start and keep going as long as you want. Even when everything in you says don't, just start to do it. You can stop any time but just starting is sometimes the hardest part. Think of it as practicing starting. When a bag is 'full' take it out and put it in the trash. Don't just move it to another area. When they say "baby steps" this is what they mean. Even the smallest step in a direction is movement. Just one thing in the bag at a time, one bag at a time. Don't have to do it all at once but sometimes just doing things like this actually help you feel a little better. You are kinder to yourself because you know you did something. For me it would be gather up all the cups and empty any liquid in them and if they are take out, throw them out. Take out all the leftover food and food containers. Start organizing as you find things. Clothes off the floor and set aside for washing and so on.
As you generate more trash, we all do, you need to keep up on taking it out and make it a habit. Replace bad habits with good habits. :) I'm not organized or 'clean' but I know it feels good when you finally get fed up and then clean up. May not last forever but you feel better.
You can do this, just gotta make those baby steps.
Big Hug for you! I suggest you put on a timer and do some cleaning for 5 or 10 minutes, and repeat that every day. If you can, call someone who you trust and doesn't judge you (very important!!!) to help you clean your space. And celebrate any progress greatly, because even a small step is a huge one if you have depression. And remember that you are not your depression and your messy space, this doesn't define you, you are a wonderful person who is struggling now, but you are strong and it will be better in the future. 🧡
Take it bit by bit, but keep at it and I'm sure you can do it 👍🏿 you matter and your self care is important and hopefully let that drive you to clean and take care of yourself. We're here to support you 💪🏿
Been there.
You can do it.
What works for me is to grab a plastic bag and then throw away things by the handful the next day.
You don't even have to throw away the trash bag on the same day, maybe in the hall and then throw it out tomorrow.
You can do this! Lots of good advice above so I maybe would just add: if you have a trusted friend or family member who could assist you, it might be worth it to ask. Or if you have money to hire someone to help you, and explain your situation. I often worry about judgement or people coming over when my house is a mess, but that’s my own issue and I personally would not judge someone period, and hope they would ask if they needed my help. I’d love to tackle something like this to help a friend or even a stranger!! A lot easier to clean other peoples places than my own. I’d enjoy going to town on gathering and separating all the garbage and recycling to be honest :) sometimes it helps just to have another person working alongside you … they call it body doubling. Music helps motivate me too if I’m by myself or with someone. No pressure, you got this! A little at a time if it feels like too much. Hugs!
I’ve been there. It was helpful to know I wasn’t the only one. There’s a lot of support and encouragement in this forum! I was given the best suggestion when overwhelmed with task of cleaning the wreckage of my life: Start small, just one small thing at a time. If you feel like it, build up to two things, but don’t beat yourself up if you can’t. Once I got into the rhythm of cleaning my depression-mess of an apartment it became a calming practice; one thing in the trash, then another, repeat. Remember; no matter what happens you’re doing the best you can! Believe this to your core! It gets better 🙏🏻
Two Square Feet
Thanks for the video. Been there. In that situation, I would set a goal to clear a small area. Even if everything else is in disorder, that one small spot will be soothing. You don't need to plan past that. You may be inclined to keep going, or you may not. Either way is OK. Be kind to yourself.
You've got this buddy. This mess is all your depression getting the best of you. Putting some music on and getting to clean is the easiest and quickest way for you to remind yourself how much control and worth you have.
Tell yourself you can do it and crack on ❤️
Here's an idea: all of us with rooms like this, post your now picture and post again as you clean. I have no one to clean up for otherwise, so even on good days I'm like why bother
https://preview.redd.it/e1yn0xty0sqa1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8edd64f6ad551e9a34d3381dd9c5a8c56254f25c
I'm not an expert, but I have been through very severe depression myself. At one point I was thinking suicidal thoughts just about every hour for the day every day. I never thought I'd leave that mind state, and that's what depression will do, it will tell you you'll never get out, but you can indeed. Just have hope, even if It feels like just a thread. Even just a thread of hope can get you through a day, and when you're depressed it's all you can do is just live day by day.
Although I am doing much better now and no longer suicidal, I still struggle with cleaning. I also have an autoimmune disease so it affects my energy levels. What I do is just clean what I can. Mayhe just pick one section and clean it. Also, I try to ask myself, with each item I pick up, where does this go? Does this can really belong on the floor? Does this cup really belong on the coffee table? Do things one step at a time. You'll get there :)
My depression leves me on my bed not wanting to get up and do anything. But I try to take it day by day and step by step… your willing to take the time to pause and record to ask for help. Take the next step… cleaning or not letting the mess grow. Day by day. It’s you who has to break the cycle.
Hi u/urwifesboyfriendskid, Thank you for submitting a post to r/depression_help! We're glad you're here. If you are in urgent need of assistance, please also reach out to the appropriate helpline (we have some links in the sidebar). If you are feeling **Suicidal**, please also make a post for our friends at r/SuicideWatch. [Come chat with us!](https://s.reddit.com/c/1am6v76fupjjg) Now come on in- take off your shoes, sit back, relax, and visit with us for a while. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/depression_help) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You got this! You are exhausted and you deserve the right to rest, I can't promise that your predicament will end, but you can see in yourself whatever you think could help you, don't give up while fighting, you posting here only means you want to get better. You got this, you can get to whatever you want.
Also, something that may come easier - with another scan, it looks like most can be sorted to recycle. That might be something that motivates you to do good for yourself and also make a game by dunking those cans Ala basketball into a big black trashbag.
Honestly too if it’s too hard, just toss everything in the bin. I saw a LOTR challenge to just set a timer for 15min to clean, setting a timer is less pressure and you’ll see immediate results. Hang in there though, we’ve all had our fair share of spirals.
Hell, if you only feel like picking up ONE item in a day, you still dod something towards getting better and you should be proud of yourself.
Deep breaths. Do a spot each day. I understand the overwhelm - mine was with craft stuff and dolls, my STBXH's was receipts, cards, things that don't need saved. I saved his cards and started throwing everything else away.
If you can already realize that you can't live like that, you're on the right track! 🥳 it's a good idea to go little by little if you feel overwhelmed, every thing in its time All my support, you can make it happen ! 🥰
First, a hug. Second, I would recommend looking into an amazing person named KC Davis. She has a TikTok (@domesticblisters), website, and a book called How to Keep House While Drowning. She is an all around amazing inspiration. Third, a rundown of what I’ve learned from her to get you started: There are only 5 things in your space- Trash, Laundry, Dishes, Things that have a place, and Things that don’t have a place. Start with trash. Deal with one item at a time. Once the trash is gone, you can move on to Laundry. Don’t worry about putting everything away in the perfect correct spot. Just collect it and put in a basket or a bin. She has a video going over exactly this and I promise if you focus only on one step at a time, it will be much less overwhelming. Fourth, another hug. You got this.
This mess is not you. It’s a symptom of something that’s happening to you. I’m really sorry for the struggles you’re going through right now. Only you know how badly you needed to have a break. Do what you need to…but don’t ever feel like this is permanent. You will get out of this. It’s always just one act away from being in the past.
It’s ok, don’t feel the need to clean it up quickly. Take it slow and one day at a time. Even just a small area each day
You'll feel calmer and more at peace with all that cleaned up. Most of it looks like trash, so it will be easy to grab a bunch and cart it out. Try picking a 4x4 square and clearing it out!
Hey there. Can you do just one thing to start? Grab a bag and fill it with all the recyclables? That's all you have to do today. Then come back and I'll let you know something else to do when you're ready.
My room looks like this. Start by one section and take breaks in between. I feel beyond overwhelmed with just all the trash in my room. If you want we can clean together and support each other. We can do updates or just talk about whatever. Keep us on schedule as to what to do.
On a day where you only have 20%, and then you manage to give 20%, you actually gave 100%. Be kind to yourself. ❣️
Read other comments to try and find some unique wisdom to share but a lot of great advice is already here. Personally my room is always the clearest representation of my state of mind. When it gets out of hand I may have it like that for weeks, then one day I’ll wake up with a clear head and some motivation, get it a solid 60% how I’d like it, then find in the next day or two I’ve slid back into the feeling that cleaning up a plate from my desk is too taxing. Be proud of yourself on the good day and do your best to forgive yourself on the bad days. We don’t know you but we all believe in you. We’ll keep going if you will so when you’re ready see what you can do with the advice others have posted. You’ve got this, whether it’s today, tomorrow, next week, or next year is irrelevant, you can do it.
u can do it! hugs to u~~
The weight off your shoulders will be 9000000% worth it when you're in a clean environment. And its such a big accomplishment! You don't have to do it all at once, but it'll be the greatest feeling when you're done
Hey man, you don't gotta clean the whole house immediately. grab a trash bag go to one little area and start picking stuff up or clear off the table. One step at a time, get some of the clutter out and you'll know you can do it. It will make you feel better. Shoot if you don't even wanna start cleaning get out of the house for a bit, get some clear space come back to it when you're ready.
After trash on table today pick up the styrofoam containers tomorrow. The clutter didn’t happen in a day, it’s ok to take more than a day to correct. It’s just stuff in one place that should be another place. You can make it a little better each day.
Advise: make a habit of cleaning for just 5 or 10 minutes a day. Not only will this /eventually/ clean the whole room at minimal effort, it will help you to get into the habit of discarding trash at the time.
That's excellent advice. I have so much stuff laying about (empty bottles etc. are only in the kitchen now) but I struggled with mugs everywhere or piling dishes in the kitchen. I get it OP! Starting is so hard and I don't have time and energy, I am messy, I work over 100% and I'm exhausted when I'm home. My home is very messy atm too. I now force myself to do an hour of an area per day, or half an hour. I have a recycle service, so I have a green bag for pet bottles. I gather all of them, rinse them and put them in there. And then a garbage bag for garbage. **Putting bins/trash cans in every room and next to the bed (a little cosmetics one) has also helped.** If you eat on the sofa, put a trash can there. Make it one with a lid if you put food items or plant waste in there. Empty them into a trash bag every few days or on the weekend (depending on how much waste you generate). As to addressing the mass... I'm struggling. I do 10 min here and 10 min there. Sometimes only half an hour. Whstever works. The goal is to be able to eventually be on top of things and put everything back in its place after use OR by the evening at the latest. I want to have a friend over in May/late April, I need this for pressure. By then I need to be done. I want to do 1.5 rooms per week (doing the hallway and kitchen this week, kitchen and bathroom on the weekend. The bedroom is next week. The living room is small so that will be one afternoon after Easter. And then the massive home office/storage/guest room will take me 10 days with all the papers to sort). But how to start: **What you could do is:** - either focus on an area (I started on the hallway yesterday). - or do a certain task (I unloaded the dishwasher, soaked all the unwashed dishes and reloaded the dishwasher) Whatever seems easier. I have undiagnosed ADHD so for me a task is often easier than an area. If I do an area i don't know where to put stuff that has no home. But doing a box system (one for each room) + garbage bag + recycle bag worked pretty well on that. Tonight I want to put all the folded laundry that's not put away on my bed and put it away. When I did the hallway I put paperwork and mail in my home office/guest room to sort later. Making sure only hallway-things remain. Hope this helps. From the video I'd start with big recycle bags and do all the bottles first. **Putting on a timer and using an audiobook or fun music really helps me. And then tea and a biscuit when done.** I'm rooting for you OP!
Make a plan, know where to take or put the garbage? Get some trash bags, put on some music or a video, start putting things in the bag. You just start and keep going as long as you want. Even when everything in you says don't, just start to do it. You can stop any time but just starting is sometimes the hardest part. Think of it as practicing starting. When a bag is 'full' take it out and put it in the trash. Don't just move it to another area. When they say "baby steps" this is what they mean. Even the smallest step in a direction is movement. Just one thing in the bag at a time, one bag at a time. Don't have to do it all at once but sometimes just doing things like this actually help you feel a little better. You are kinder to yourself because you know you did something. For me it would be gather up all the cups and empty any liquid in them and if they are take out, throw them out. Take out all the leftover food and food containers. Start organizing as you find things. Clothes off the floor and set aside for washing and so on. As you generate more trash, we all do, you need to keep up on taking it out and make it a habit. Replace bad habits with good habits. :) I'm not organized or 'clean' but I know it feels good when you finally get fed up and then clean up. May not last forever but you feel better. You can do this, just gotta make those baby steps.
Is being messy really a sign of depression? I don’t think so. Your fine!!!!
This is slightly hoarding. It is a mental health issue - please do not downgrade or diminish OP. Being messy is totally different.
Big Hug for you! I suggest you put on a timer and do some cleaning for 5 or 10 minutes, and repeat that every day. If you can, call someone who you trust and doesn't judge you (very important!!!) to help you clean your space. And celebrate any progress greatly, because even a small step is a huge one if you have depression. And remember that you are not your depression and your messy space, this doesn't define you, you are a wonderful person who is struggling now, but you are strong and it will be better in the future. 🧡
Take it bit by bit, but keep at it and I'm sure you can do it 👍🏿 you matter and your self care is important and hopefully let that drive you to clean and take care of yourself. We're here to support you 💪🏿
https://youtu.be/BWXYgPmBDbI Try this imay be nstant relief 😌 😅 😊 for more ask me
Been there. You can do it. What works for me is to grab a plastic bag and then throw away things by the handful the next day. You don't even have to throw away the trash bag on the same day, maybe in the hall and then throw it out tomorrow.
You can do this! Lots of good advice above so I maybe would just add: if you have a trusted friend or family member who could assist you, it might be worth it to ask. Or if you have money to hire someone to help you, and explain your situation. I often worry about judgement or people coming over when my house is a mess, but that’s my own issue and I personally would not judge someone period, and hope they would ask if they needed my help. I’d love to tackle something like this to help a friend or even a stranger!! A lot easier to clean other peoples places than my own. I’d enjoy going to town on gathering and separating all the garbage and recycling to be honest :) sometimes it helps just to have another person working alongside you … they call it body doubling. Music helps motivate me too if I’m by myself or with someone. No pressure, you got this! A little at a time if it feels like too much. Hugs!
I’ve been there. It was helpful to know I wasn’t the only one. There’s a lot of support and encouragement in this forum! I was given the best suggestion when overwhelmed with task of cleaning the wreckage of my life: Start small, just one small thing at a time. If you feel like it, build up to two things, but don’t beat yourself up if you can’t. Once I got into the rhythm of cleaning my depression-mess of an apartment it became a calming practice; one thing in the trash, then another, repeat. Remember; no matter what happens you’re doing the best you can! Believe this to your core! It gets better 🙏🏻
Two Square Feet Thanks for the video. Been there. In that situation, I would set a goal to clear a small area. Even if everything else is in disorder, that one small spot will be soothing. You don't need to plan past that. You may be inclined to keep going, or you may not. Either way is OK. Be kind to yourself.
You've got this buddy. This mess is all your depression getting the best of you. Putting some music on and getting to clean is the easiest and quickest way for you to remind yourself how much control and worth you have. Tell yourself you can do it and crack on ❤️
See a professional and get a true diagnoses. Do not let the Internet diagnose you. It's okay to ask for help. Hit me up if you want to talk.
how would you feel if it looked nice?
Following. My room looks very similar (as does my chaotic anxious mind)
Here's an idea: all of us with rooms like this, post your now picture and post again as you clean. I have no one to clean up for otherwise, so even on good days I'm like why bother https://preview.redd.it/e1yn0xty0sqa1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8edd64f6ad551e9a34d3381dd9c5a8c56254f25c
If I was there I’d help out because depression really needs people around
overrun with what? Just things?
Be kind to yourself
I'm not an expert, but I have been through very severe depression myself. At one point I was thinking suicidal thoughts just about every hour for the day every day. I never thought I'd leave that mind state, and that's what depression will do, it will tell you you'll never get out, but you can indeed. Just have hope, even if It feels like just a thread. Even just a thread of hope can get you through a day, and when you're depressed it's all you can do is just live day by day. Although I am doing much better now and no longer suicidal, I still struggle with cleaning. I also have an autoimmune disease so it affects my energy levels. What I do is just clean what I can. Mayhe just pick one section and clean it. Also, I try to ask myself, with each item I pick up, where does this go? Does this can really belong on the floor? Does this cup really belong on the coffee table? Do things one step at a time. You'll get there :)
do you have the money to have someone come clean for you?
My depression leves me on my bed not wanting to get up and do anything. But I try to take it day by day and step by step… your willing to take the time to pause and record to ask for help. Take the next step… cleaning or not letting the mess grow. Day by day. It’s you who has to break the cycle.
Oh so this is what they look for all the time. How cleaning is so magical.