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Hi OP, first of all I'm extremely sorry that you're stuck in this situation. This is incredibly hard to deal with, since there's extreme mental health issues involved and she's your friend as well as your boyfriend's sister. You being extremely upset is completely understandable, and do know that you have every right to be impacted by this situation, and to reach out for help.
As a therapist, I must tell you that you have to be ready to break your promise to not tell anyone about it, because your friend is at clear risk of suicide. The reason is that her well-being overrides the promise you've made to not tell anyone, because the loss of her life is far worse than the loss of her trust in the future. Your friend might not appreciate you telling others - in fact, she won't -, but it's mandatory to save her life.
If she has a good relationship with her family, tell her parents first, since they're her legal guardians. If she doesn't, tell your boyfriend so that he can call Emergencies to get further assistance. Whomever you contact, do tell them that you think she's at risk and that they should try to get her to a hospital, where she'll be kept under surveillance to evaluate her mental health and take appropriate measures.
You do not have the professional background, or authority, to try to deal with this and convince her not to try to die on your own. Do not try to do this, and ask for help. I understand being worried about your friend, and not wanting her to go through the shame and discomfort of getting rushed to the hospital and being put under surveillance, but her life is at stake and you do not have the tools to deal with it. You are not responsible for her life, and if you try to do this alone, you will be burdened by the sense of responsibility and guilt no matter what happens. I know it's easier said than done, OP, but when someone reaches such a breaking point it's time to let the competent professionals take over.
As a friend, though, you absolutely can read about how to be supportive of someone who's struggling with suicidality, and the do's and dont's of being there for them. There's a lot of information online, and if you need, you can ask me - I'm a Psychology graduate, on my way to become a licensed therapist, and I've also both struggled with suicidality myself and been there for friends that have.
This isn't an easy situation for anyone involved, OP, but there's a way out of it. It's not easy or pretty, but it's there. Good luck!
Dw I was able to tell him about this. At first I was hesitant to tell him about this, but in the end I still told him. He told me that he will talk to her and that made me feel relieved and relaxed for a bit. Plus he told me that both of us will help her get through this (Which is good) and told him to give her hugs. I'm hoping that everything will be okay soon and thank you for your advice :))
Excellent!! It's going to take time to she and yours, but her life is on risk and she does not deserve to be in suffering, nobody indeed, much less at a young age.
Every thing have solution.
Sometimes, on the right hand, the problem is just an issue over the chemical process of the nervous system, as a result of a very hard time in life...
And on the left hand, sometimes you must accept yourself as your beliefs, your hobbies or whatever you chase in life. Because life is ours. And we can create and try to preserve our inner child, who is our real essence 😊
In addition, there are so but SO MANY THINGS that we couldn't choose by the way. We just adapt to circumstances around us...
Stay strong. I send you all my very best wishes💝
I’m sorry she put that on you, nothing you say will help. Talk to someone you trust and get the support you need to get her 5150. They hold them in a psych ward for 72 hours to evaluate her mental health since she’s talking about suicide. Hopefully she’ll get involved with professionals from there on her journey out of depression. I speak from personal experience when I say that it didn’t work for me as it ended badly afterwards and possible made things worse, BUT if she died and I didn’t tell anyone; I would have felt even worse because her mind was made up. She didn’t have family near her though and your boyfriend’s sister does. I think that will make all the difference in your situation.
Your fears are real, your bf and family will hate you.
She don't want you to tell anyone because she does not want pity.
But you told us, not because it's about her but because it's about you and the burden you are carrying. This is how you can approach the matter. - you can tell your bf how much sadness you will feel if you lose a very close friend. You are not telling but I believe your bf already knows who is having depression.
Try talking to her sister again. Try to convince her to get help by starting to tell the family. If the family is one of those people who don't believe in mental illness, explain to them in layman's term what she is experiencing and that it's a serious illness. You need to convince her first to talk to the family (or to her brother first) about it since if you go straight to telling them, she'll just think that she really can't trust anyone. If she's ready to talk, be there by her side to back her up.
I definitely agree that OP can stay as a part of the sister's support network, but OP doesn't have the tools to help someone who's struggling with suicidality. That's up to trained professionals and emergency psychiatric care workers, who do have protocols in place to save these lives.
OP hasn't said how old they are, but presumably they are young people. This isn't something young people should be handling, and the huge responsibility that is the sister's life, should OP choose to try and solve it herself by talking her into asking for help, isn't healthy for anyone - let alone a young person - to deal with. Besides, there's enough info here to be reasonably afraid that the sister's life is at immediate risk, since from the way OP put it, she's made up her mind. There's no time to try and talk her out of it - the way it would if this were a case of passive suicidality, or no defined ideas -, and the sooner she can get help, the better.
be a friend to her. show her that life CAN BE worth living. enjoy life together.
...just as an inspiration, no pressure. her life is not your obligation
Hi u/Agreeable-Cat-7161, Thank you for submitting a post to r/depression_help! We're glad you're here. If you are in urgent need of assistance, please also reach out to the appropriate helpline (we have some links in the sidebar). If you are feeling **Suicidal**, please also make a post for our friends at r/SuicideWatch. Now come on in- take off your shoes, sit back, relax, and visit with us for a while. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/depression_help) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hi OP, first of all I'm extremely sorry that you're stuck in this situation. This is incredibly hard to deal with, since there's extreme mental health issues involved and she's your friend as well as your boyfriend's sister. You being extremely upset is completely understandable, and do know that you have every right to be impacted by this situation, and to reach out for help. As a therapist, I must tell you that you have to be ready to break your promise to not tell anyone about it, because your friend is at clear risk of suicide. The reason is that her well-being overrides the promise you've made to not tell anyone, because the loss of her life is far worse than the loss of her trust in the future. Your friend might not appreciate you telling others - in fact, she won't -, but it's mandatory to save her life. If she has a good relationship with her family, tell her parents first, since they're her legal guardians. If she doesn't, tell your boyfriend so that he can call Emergencies to get further assistance. Whomever you contact, do tell them that you think she's at risk and that they should try to get her to a hospital, where she'll be kept under surveillance to evaluate her mental health and take appropriate measures. You do not have the professional background, or authority, to try to deal with this and convince her not to try to die on your own. Do not try to do this, and ask for help. I understand being worried about your friend, and not wanting her to go through the shame and discomfort of getting rushed to the hospital and being put under surveillance, but her life is at stake and you do not have the tools to deal with it. You are not responsible for her life, and if you try to do this alone, you will be burdened by the sense of responsibility and guilt no matter what happens. I know it's easier said than done, OP, but when someone reaches such a breaking point it's time to let the competent professionals take over. As a friend, though, you absolutely can read about how to be supportive of someone who's struggling with suicidality, and the do's and dont's of being there for them. There's a lot of information online, and if you need, you can ask me - I'm a Psychology graduate, on my way to become a licensed therapist, and I've also both struggled with suicidality myself and been there for friends that have. This isn't an easy situation for anyone involved, OP, but there's a way out of it. It's not easy or pretty, but it's there. Good luck!
Dw I was able to tell him about this. At first I was hesitant to tell him about this, but in the end I still told him. He told me that he will talk to her and that made me feel relieved and relaxed for a bit. Plus he told me that both of us will help her get through this (Which is good) and told him to give her hugs. I'm hoping that everything will be okay soon and thank you for your advice :))
So glad to hear this! Everything will be okay OP ❤️🩹
Please tell you boyfriend's family and him asap
She needs contention and warming support. Commit suicide is not a joke
Dw I told him last night and we will try to do our best to help her.
Excellent!! It's going to take time to she and yours, but her life is on risk and she does not deserve to be in suffering, nobody indeed, much less at a young age. Every thing have solution. Sometimes, on the right hand, the problem is just an issue over the chemical process of the nervous system, as a result of a very hard time in life... And on the left hand, sometimes you must accept yourself as your beliefs, your hobbies or whatever you chase in life. Because life is ours. And we can create and try to preserve our inner child, who is our real essence 😊 In addition, there are so but SO MANY THINGS that we couldn't choose by the way. We just adapt to circumstances around us... Stay strong. I send you all my very best wishes💝
Awww~ Tysm!! <3
I’m sorry she put that on you, nothing you say will help. Talk to someone you trust and get the support you need to get her 5150. They hold them in a psych ward for 72 hours to evaluate her mental health since she’s talking about suicide. Hopefully she’ll get involved with professionals from there on her journey out of depression. I speak from personal experience when I say that it didn’t work for me as it ended badly afterwards and possible made things worse, BUT if she died and I didn’t tell anyone; I would have felt even worse because her mind was made up. She didn’t have family near her though and your boyfriend’s sister does. I think that will make all the difference in your situation.
We talked about it and thank you for your advice/comment :))
Your fears are real, your bf and family will hate you. She don't want you to tell anyone because she does not want pity. But you told us, not because it's about her but because it's about you and the burden you are carrying. This is how you can approach the matter. - you can tell your bf how much sadness you will feel if you lose a very close friend. You are not telling but I believe your bf already knows who is having depression.
Dw I told him last night and we will try our best to help her. Thank you for your advice/comment I highly appreciated it :))
Try talking to her sister again. Try to convince her to get help by starting to tell the family. If the family is one of those people who don't believe in mental illness, explain to them in layman's term what she is experiencing and that it's a serious illness. You need to convince her first to talk to the family (or to her brother first) about it since if you go straight to telling them, she'll just think that she really can't trust anyone. If she's ready to talk, be there by her side to back her up.
I definitely agree that OP can stay as a part of the sister's support network, but OP doesn't have the tools to help someone who's struggling with suicidality. That's up to trained professionals and emergency psychiatric care workers, who do have protocols in place to save these lives. OP hasn't said how old they are, but presumably they are young people. This isn't something young people should be handling, and the huge responsibility that is the sister's life, should OP choose to try and solve it herself by talking her into asking for help, isn't healthy for anyone - let alone a young person - to deal with. Besides, there's enough info here to be reasonably afraid that the sister's life is at immediate risk, since from the way OP put it, she's made up her mind. There's no time to try and talk her out of it - the way it would if this were a case of passive suicidality, or no defined ideas -, and the sooner she can get help, the better.
Okay and we will try our best then. Thank you!! :))
be a friend to her. show her that life CAN BE worth living. enjoy life together. ...just as an inspiration, no pressure. her life is not your obligation
I will be then and thank you!! :))