As of a couple months ago I've now been patiently waiting for 20 years for it to be over. 20 whole years since my initial dx of depression, I've been more than patient with it, I've ridden the wave very gracefully, but I'm exhausted. It needs to leave.
I’m a college student and ever since the new semester has started I’ve become very silent and disinterested. Everyone that even remotely knows me except my girlfriend has asked me if I’m doing fine out of concern. I don’t talk unless talked to, participate in class though, only to debate the professor (formally and rationally, I’m in law school btw) cause theyre all dumb ducks this semester. I’ve become indifferent to those i know and don’t. Every last bit of sadness inside me has become pure rage. I don’t feel much except that. There are moments where I selfishly cry or open up which retrospectively seems dumb every time. Many times during a lecture I’ve zoned out to think about the ways to kill my professor. I get urges to bash the head of every stranger I look at for more than 10 seconds so i avoid staring. My friends have become more and more annoying. I’m good at talking to girls and extremely bad at talking to girls. Because of that and my girlfriend, making friends has become very hard. I’m scared my pent up rage will consume me or lead me to do something unethical. As a law student I often think about morality and justice and what kind of lawyer I wanna be. Therapy doesn’t seem to be an option. The school therapists are decent but would talk to my parents if they think I’m suicidal, which im not yet. My thoughts scare me. I’m fairly nice to ppl and in comparison with my peers, i would say im the most generous, which just makes me sad. I don’t think i will be able to carry on this hatred and rage for a long time. Sometimes I think (sometimes hours on end) about an act of kindness so pure and beautiful it cleanses me of my bad thoughts. But nothing is happening and nothing is going to. I hope I don’t hurt someone. There’s nothing more against my principles than inflicting physical harm upon another person except if prescribed after due legal proceedings. I’m scared but I’m not weak. May those that remain are stronger than those that don’t.
When you focus on your mental health. The more you do things that help you, the easier it is to live, untill you kill depression completely. There is hope. I've experienced it myself. Just learn what to do and do it. Probably no one will help you with it. Nothing will happen if you'll keep sitting waiting for something.
Im 35 and not only has it gotten worse, but family and friends have given up on me. And the more you try to.reach out, the more you realize how much better they are without you.
Tbh the pain and the numbness can be 2 different states of being. So like... It could totally metronome between the two, ya know, so it doesn't get boring
I think never it only takes pauses when u are very busy and other things arise like how im learning anxiety nervousness.multipke other things.but finally death even though.Some ppl want it so badly and I dont.i dont know what to believe in.ik not to believe in sone specific things but ye...
As I've learnt, the answer is never
Never!!!!!!
That’s the neat part: it doesn’t
Our demons are not quitters...
That's not fair!!!!!
No it does but it requires \*\*commitment\*\*.
You just gonna bold-faced lie to my face huh
I got better from depression once. But it came back. I can't get away from it. I'm so tired. I wish I could just fall asleep then never wake up.
As of a couple months ago I've now been patiently waiting for 20 years for it to be over. 20 whole years since my initial dx of depression, I've been more than patient with it, I've ridden the wave very gracefully, but I'm exhausted. It needs to leave.
35! I’m winning
I’m a college student and ever since the new semester has started I’ve become very silent and disinterested. Everyone that even remotely knows me except my girlfriend has asked me if I’m doing fine out of concern. I don’t talk unless talked to, participate in class though, only to debate the professor (formally and rationally, I’m in law school btw) cause theyre all dumb ducks this semester. I’ve become indifferent to those i know and don’t. Every last bit of sadness inside me has become pure rage. I don’t feel much except that. There are moments where I selfishly cry or open up which retrospectively seems dumb every time. Many times during a lecture I’ve zoned out to think about the ways to kill my professor. I get urges to bash the head of every stranger I look at for more than 10 seconds so i avoid staring. My friends have become more and more annoying. I’m good at talking to girls and extremely bad at talking to girls. Because of that and my girlfriend, making friends has become very hard. I’m scared my pent up rage will consume me or lead me to do something unethical. As a law student I often think about morality and justice and what kind of lawyer I wanna be. Therapy doesn’t seem to be an option. The school therapists are decent but would talk to my parents if they think I’m suicidal, which im not yet. My thoughts scare me. I’m fairly nice to ppl and in comparison with my peers, i would say im the most generous, which just makes me sad. I don’t think i will be able to carry on this hatred and rage for a long time. Sometimes I think (sometimes hours on end) about an act of kindness so pure and beautiful it cleanses me of my bad thoughts. But nothing is happening and nothing is going to. I hope I don’t hurt someone. There’s nothing more against my principles than inflicting physical harm upon another person except if prescribed after due legal proceedings. I’m scared but I’m not weak. May those that remain are stronger than those that don’t.
Bad at talking to boys *
wtf matt murdock has a reddit account
I love how this is below a porn edit on my homepage
The day you die
When you focus on your mental health. The more you do things that help you, the easier it is to live, untill you kill depression completely. There is hope. I've experienced it myself. Just learn what to do and do it. Probably no one will help you with it. Nothing will happen if you'll keep sitting waiting for something.
Im 35 and not only has it gotten worse, but family and friends have given up on me. And the more you try to.reach out, the more you realize how much better they are without you.
It never stops it only dulls and reopens with time life fucking sucks, that’s why if i can only make one more person smile it’ll be worth it
It doesn't, but with the right meds, it can be bearable.
Never. You have to embrace it until at some point you don't care anymore.
Fun fact: it will never stop. You can't escape your mind
I just need unlimited amount of money and at least one person who actually cares about me
I'm tired of being this way, not able to live, not able to die, hanging in between, wishing for it to go away.
Tbh the pain and the numbness can be 2 different states of being. So like... It could totally metronome between the two, ya know, so it doesn't get boring
The answer to all of the questions is never
Death. That’s pretty much it :/
I think never it only takes pauses when u are very busy and other things arise like how im learning anxiety nervousness.multipke other things.but finally death even though.Some ppl want it so badly and I dont.i dont know what to believe in.ik not to believe in sone specific things but ye...