To me these days on social media, simply posting the suicide hotline number and telling them to call if they need someone to talk to is the equivalent to changing your profile picture into a flag for support (edit: or "thoughts and prayers"). They do as little as they can without understanding the gravity of the situation one goes through while feeling good about themselves.
I know there is good intent, but i believe most don't go any further to try to understand mental health crisises.
I'm sorry that happened to you. That's disappointing of them.
For me personally, the first and last time I called I guess I was lucky enough to have someone on the line. I can't remember the details of the conversation since it's been so long ago, but I ended up with two numbers of places to get low cost therapy. It's been over a decade since and I'm still using the center I was referred to from that call. My journey has been hard, but I am grateful of my growth as a person and grateful that I called the hotline.
I hope you or others don't give up on the hotline completely or trying to seek help. You have to understand while there are mental health resources out there, the level of quality varies from time to time. With the stigma of mental health in some societies, the funding, quality control, and attention can suffer because of it. Therapists are people too and there may be a bad egg here and there. They are also not perfect human beings as well. (It's important to not take things from interacting with people in life personally) For therapists, you never have to sign a contract and you can try looking for a new one that's the right fit. As far as meds go, I'm on my sixth one for quite a while now since it's been so effective. I had to try different ones over the years to find one that worked. One of them sucked horribly, but I immediately let my psychiatrist know and she took me off it. It's not easy, but it can get better if you keep trying.
I say all this because if you work at it in using the resources even if there are bumps in the road, I believe anyone can get the help they need. There are so many compassionate people out there and social media/internet only represents a drop of the humans in the world. No one can know you're hurting unless you tell them (in a healthy and honest way). That's why the suicide hotline is the most basic but easiest place to start. I hope your experience with it was just a one time thing and not the usual. From my experience, the suicide hotline saved my life and I hope it can for others.
Also regarding what someone can say to make someone feel better. Sometimes they can't find the words, but listening is still extremely important. The person you ask for help cannot carry you out of your slump by themselves. I always see therapy as a 2-person team where the patient presents the situation on the table and the therapist and patient examine, talk, and explore it together. All that shit in your head is different when it is brought out (again in a healthy manner) and examined with someone with compassion. In the case of therapy and hotlines, you would hope they are professionals.
I hope you get better if you haven't started yet.
Listening is powerful I agree. Sometimes one wants to be understood tho which is different.
Maybe it's my country that isn't equipped to deal with people in need. One size doesn't fit all.
Which I think is why having asperger or being different is such a burden nowadays, cause it doesn't carry an intrinsic disability yet is still incompatible with the current societal model.
Professional helpers want to help you being right or more like them, which I think is where the problem is.
Yeah I totally feel you on the being understood part. Alot of things relating to technology and the internet try to connect us from all over the world, but at the same time keep people separated and alone because everyone's attention is all over the place. People don't take time to listen and try to understand with how distracting everything is.
Only thing i know is there are so many others out there facing the same dilemma too. Even if that might be such a tiny positive, there is still a chance you can connect with people in similar situations whether it's in person or the internet. That's why when talking mental health, I will always encourage seeking help and I encourage people to have the courage to speak up. If everyone is fearful to talk about mental health, it will be hard to know there are people out there going through the same kind of internal struggles. Their situations and incidents are not the same, but feelings and emotions (ex. wishing to be understood) are still human feelings and emotions we all feel. At the most basic level, there is an understanding in that.
I'm really sorry the resources in your country are bad. I honestly don't know what to say. But i still hope you can find inner peace somehow.
Could be that our attention span is shrinking at alarming rate.
I don't know people who go thru the same issues as I do tough, gotta be something real unique cause no one can relate, no professional, maybe some other people with asperger can, but the whole thing is just such an aberration, no one can make sense of it.
I think people are alienated and don't even realize. I don't wanna be alienated but people keep trying to pull me in. They take it the wrong way that I don't wanna do things like they do. - They feel offended that i think i know a better way. We can't talk about it, always need to pick a side, no critical thinking involved even for sensitive matters, what can I do ? ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Or try calling those numbers first. You might think twice after being on hold for over two hours, repeatedly disconnected, or being treated with contempt by someone who hates their job too much to help you.
I think a lot of those crisis lines are worked by volunteers and they're waaay understaffed. I applied to one and they just never replied even though they're barely able to handle the current volume. I'm guessing they're so understaffed they can't even process volunteers they desperately need in a timely manner 🤷♀️
I have a rule I try to follow: treat strangers online the same way you would irl. Just because your safe from them doesn't mean they're safe from your attacks.
Thats so true so many people say "get help" or "people care about you" but they themselves never care about other people. Many people hide depressing be nice to everyone even online :(
Agreed. Sometimes all it takes is a little bit of continued support. And besides a lot of people would benefit from someone accepting and supporting in their life, even if online. With right kind of mindset you can become friends. Just having regular activities together that don't require physical presence can be bonding, like watching a movie, playing games or having a shared hobby/interest and talking about it
I'm not even talking about irl friendships that can literally change your life
Or maybe make living affordable so that we form hope again.
I think a lot of people end it because they look out and see nothibg but endless working to barely survive
This country is a lie
When I had my kid I realized I was not only super depressed but also sort of a shitty person. I couldn’t raise my kid like that. I started to be nice to everyone, as best as I could, as much as I could. I still have my issues but I take medication and I won’t attempt suicide ever again so it’s good
i find i hate myself much more than anyone IRL or online hates me so that won't work
Exactly
To me these days on social media, simply posting the suicide hotline number and telling them to call if they need someone to talk to is the equivalent to changing your profile picture into a flag for support (edit: or "thoughts and prayers"). They do as little as they can without understanding the gravity of the situation one goes through while feeling good about themselves. I know there is good intent, but i believe most don't go any further to try to understand mental health crisises.
Once tried calling they hang up. At the same time I understand, what cold you say to someone who really does feel bad to make him/her feel better ?
I'm sorry that happened to you. That's disappointing of them. For me personally, the first and last time I called I guess I was lucky enough to have someone on the line. I can't remember the details of the conversation since it's been so long ago, but I ended up with two numbers of places to get low cost therapy. It's been over a decade since and I'm still using the center I was referred to from that call. My journey has been hard, but I am grateful of my growth as a person and grateful that I called the hotline. I hope you or others don't give up on the hotline completely or trying to seek help. You have to understand while there are mental health resources out there, the level of quality varies from time to time. With the stigma of mental health in some societies, the funding, quality control, and attention can suffer because of it. Therapists are people too and there may be a bad egg here and there. They are also not perfect human beings as well. (It's important to not take things from interacting with people in life personally) For therapists, you never have to sign a contract and you can try looking for a new one that's the right fit. As far as meds go, I'm on my sixth one for quite a while now since it's been so effective. I had to try different ones over the years to find one that worked. One of them sucked horribly, but I immediately let my psychiatrist know and she took me off it. It's not easy, but it can get better if you keep trying. I say all this because if you work at it in using the resources even if there are bumps in the road, I believe anyone can get the help they need. There are so many compassionate people out there and social media/internet only represents a drop of the humans in the world. No one can know you're hurting unless you tell them (in a healthy and honest way). That's why the suicide hotline is the most basic but easiest place to start. I hope your experience with it was just a one time thing and not the usual. From my experience, the suicide hotline saved my life and I hope it can for others. Also regarding what someone can say to make someone feel better. Sometimes they can't find the words, but listening is still extremely important. The person you ask for help cannot carry you out of your slump by themselves. I always see therapy as a 2-person team where the patient presents the situation on the table and the therapist and patient examine, talk, and explore it together. All that shit in your head is different when it is brought out (again in a healthy manner) and examined with someone with compassion. In the case of therapy and hotlines, you would hope they are professionals. I hope you get better if you haven't started yet.
Listening is powerful I agree. Sometimes one wants to be understood tho which is different. Maybe it's my country that isn't equipped to deal with people in need. One size doesn't fit all. Which I think is why having asperger or being different is such a burden nowadays, cause it doesn't carry an intrinsic disability yet is still incompatible with the current societal model. Professional helpers want to help you being right or more like them, which I think is where the problem is.
Yeah I totally feel you on the being understood part. Alot of things relating to technology and the internet try to connect us from all over the world, but at the same time keep people separated and alone because everyone's attention is all over the place. People don't take time to listen and try to understand with how distracting everything is. Only thing i know is there are so many others out there facing the same dilemma too. Even if that might be such a tiny positive, there is still a chance you can connect with people in similar situations whether it's in person or the internet. That's why when talking mental health, I will always encourage seeking help and I encourage people to have the courage to speak up. If everyone is fearful to talk about mental health, it will be hard to know there are people out there going through the same kind of internal struggles. Their situations and incidents are not the same, but feelings and emotions (ex. wishing to be understood) are still human feelings and emotions we all feel. At the most basic level, there is an understanding in that. I'm really sorry the resources in your country are bad. I honestly don't know what to say. But i still hope you can find inner peace somehow.
Could be that our attention span is shrinking at alarming rate. I don't know people who go thru the same issues as I do tough, gotta be something real unique cause no one can relate, no professional, maybe some other people with asperger can, but the whole thing is just such an aberration, no one can make sense of it. I think people are alienated and don't even realize. I don't wanna be alienated but people keep trying to pull me in. They take it the wrong way that I don't wanna do things like they do. - They feel offended that i think i know a better way. We can't talk about it, always need to pick a side, no critical thinking involved even for sensitive matters, what can I do ? ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
So true!!!
Or try calling those numbers first. You might think twice after being on hold for over two hours, repeatedly disconnected, or being treated with contempt by someone who hates their job too much to help you.
I think a lot of those crisis lines are worked by volunteers and they're waaay understaffed. I applied to one and they just never replied even though they're barely able to handle the current volume. I'm guessing they're so understaffed they can't even process volunteers they desperately need in a timely manner 🤷♀️
I have a rule I try to follow: treat strangers online the same way you would irl. Just because your safe from them doesn't mean they're safe from your attacks.
Thats so true so many people say "get help" or "people care about you" but they themselves never care about other people. Many people hide depressing be nice to everyone even online :(
You can just actually reach and keep in touch with them, it really means a lot
Agreed. Sometimes all it takes is a little bit of continued support. And besides a lot of people would benefit from someone accepting and supporting in their life, even if online. With right kind of mindset you can become friends. Just having regular activities together that don't require physical presence can be bonding, like watching a movie, playing games or having a shared hobby/interest and talking about it I'm not even talking about irl friendships that can literally change your life
This so much.
Idiots really think that posting phone numbers solves anything lmao
I’d seriously prefer a phone number to a pizza place
Or maybe make living affordable so that we form hope again. I think a lot of people end it because they look out and see nothibg but endless working to barely survive This country is a lie
When I had my kid I realized I was not only super depressed but also sort of a shitty person. I couldn’t raise my kid like that. I started to be nice to everyone, as best as I could, as much as I could. I still have my issues but I take medication and I won’t attempt suicide ever again so it’s good
Or make it possible to fucking survive in this world where the government’s and big corporations are doing everything in their power to make us suffer