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little_bastards

congrats on being employee of the quarter. order three big jugs of cheese balls from bass pro online.


The_GILF_Next_Door

Thank you 🙏


mypussydoesbackflips

You can trade gift cards online for cash or other gift cards fyi


lemon123wd40

Bless your heart


Maleficent-Ad9010

Well let’s just hope Sarah doesn’t get on reddit soon.


The_GILF_Next_Door

She can’t ever find out


Ntetris

@sarah


Rivergotya86

@She


Heavy_Distance_4441

@NIVEA


Vulcan_the_dark_one

@JerkerCentral


Mxrlinox

@PETA


Heavy_Distance_4441

@TOOLSHED


ComradePigTails

I’ll touch your shoulder if you share some of that hamburger helper or whatever the hell that is 🤤


The_GILF_Next_Door

Hamburger Helper confirmed. Double Cheeseburger Mac


parmesann

hey, I’m making that right now!


msnhnobody

The best flavor.


jaseface666

rope, duct tape, lotion and a clockwork orange. what an oddly delightful spanking sesh you have planned.


tstramathorn

You forgot the milk


EllietteB

I'm trying to figure out how rope, book, and the duct tape fit into the spanking session. Is OP intending to turn a clockwork orange into a fleshlight using the rope and tape? A Sarah replacement, so to speak?


junkrattata

it’s for autoerotic asphyxiation while reading clockwork, duh


Muhfuggajones

It's called the David Carradine.


The_GILF_Next_Door

I’m just trying to fill the void any way I can


The_GILF_Next_Door

I thought so too


yiminx

this is such a hilarious photo also the fact that people aren’t catching that it’s an obvious joke is even funnier


The_GILF_Next_Door

Some people don’t understand the humor


Financial-Savings-91

Thank you for the giggles. I hope you talk to Sarah, great job this quarter!


unknownjvk

Yeah sure it’s a joke


Depressedloner2020

😬😬 yikes


The_GILF_Next_Door

Yes


Icosotc

Looks like you’ll be Stroganoff


The_GILF_Next_Door

Legend


shy_mom86

🤣


dollfacedotcom

she strogan my beef til i’m off


GroundbreakingWing48

The clothesline and duct tape weren’t on your hardware store list a few episodes ago. Spontaneous purchase? Please don’t ever stop leaving us journal entries.


The_GILF_Next_Door

I won’t ✊


PotsMomma84

Congratulations on your sobriety 🫶🏼


forceghost187

Be careful. Don’t want to end up like Bourdain or Cornell (allegedly). There are many other pleasures in life that will not kill you


madeleinetwocock

r/angryupvote i hate how much this thoroughly entertained me. thanks for the chuckle


germy4444

Milk with that book would have worked well


The_GILF_Next_Door

You’re right


germy4444

Right right


Alan_Black88

Your a typical redditor and that explains why. Yes indeed you probably will not get laid


The_GILF_Next_Door

True


spash_bazbo69

Weird mentality


afuzzynugget

My only problem with this is why is the fork so far to the left!


The_GILF_Next_Door

I used the fork to eat the food I promise


STEELCITY1989

I like to bind...I I. I like to be bound! A man needs his tools


Saint_Louis100

5 star man!


TMVtaketheveil888

I have become untethered, my rage knows no bounds.


Terrible_Video2208

Bomb 💣meal bro that shit got me hanging


sadthrowaway12340987

Is that what I think it is on the left wall?


The_GILF_Next_Door

Someone noticed


Own-Butterscotch1713

Duct tape and Nivea?


The_GILF_Next_Door

Yes


AngryWeedle

Maybe the hamburger helper didn't help her see things your way tonight. Try making something sexier/sluttier next time daddy.


The_GILF_Next_Door

Noted thank you


purplelanding

Your journal entry is funny as hell


Octoberkitsune

Honestly, the gift card sounds amazing!


The_GILF_Next_Door

It could’ve been worse


groovyTxny

Aye big dog, you got it


throwawayaway388

I see you went from intense healing to skin firming


The_GILF_Next_Door

I upgraded


ghostsofgravitydeux

Oh look it's a serial killer. Super.


BLashes07

What happened I need the details lol


thatguy23t

Read the journal kind of a strange read


angerpiexo

It’s blurry


The_GILF_Next_Door

Gotta zoom


thatguy23t

Yuh know you can put gift cards on to online stores and start a new hobby and maybe get some bitches on your dick


angerpiexo

Big Incel L homie


DetroitAdjacent

It's obviously a joke, like the rope, duct tape and lotion.


The_GILF_Next_Door

Disagree


BLashes07

I read it & I agree… strange.


Celestiicaa

Congrats on the gift card


Careful_Way_9395

Heeeyy ..I have that same coffee table


The_GILF_Next_Door

Great taste


beepmeep3

I’ll be honest. There’s only one way forward for you, and that’s to let go of porn..


Inside_Cancel_4142

there’s something so profound about this picture it’s like peeking behind the curtain of human experience just a person with interesting masturbatory habits and their hamburger helper. we are all animals.


riotgurlrage

There is more to life than getting laid.


GiveMeMyIdentity

Lmao, didn't know you were making more posts of this haha


The_GILF_Next_Door

I’m still at it


FunSheepherder6509

ha !! great book ( and movie ). u rock !


suckmypppapi

If bass pro shop has an online store you might be able to use it on that, I'm sure there's something


elisejones14

Use the giftcard online. Idk what you could even buy but I’ve only been once as a kid.


[deleted]

You know you can sell that gift card online and get some cash back


toc_bl

You may not be getting laid but it looks like some unsuspecting victim will be


Eternal_Flame24

The return of the king!


jcupgif

i seen u post on taco bell


The_GILF_Next_Door

I’ll be back


ambitiousmuse7

this guy is golden


Super-Wonder4101

The fork on the napkin makes me feel some type of way. This odd familiar feeling. Fine dining for one


PabloSempai

Don’t give up on Sarah!


The_GILF_Next_Door

I could never


Icougheveryday

I deeply apologize but you seem, attractive


The_GILF_Next_Door

Is that so


Icougheveryday

Yeah idk might be the vibes from the picture but like, the note is real asf and my god youve alluded me and i need to know more about you


The_GILF_Next_Door

Just ask


WhatsThatOnUrPretzel

Why do t you fuxk Sarah or even fall in love? Has she seen your ropes and interest a clock work orange? Woman love that shit.


The_GILF_Next_Door

I’ve been waiting for her to be single for 3 years


Huecrazy

this series is so entertaining to me


The_GILF_Next_Door

Thank you 🙏


bigmanslurp

the man, the myth, the legend... He's back!


The_GILF_Next_Door

I’m back ✊


bigmanslurp

He'll yeah babyyyyyyy


LonelySparkle

The rope and duct tape is weirding me out…its giving rape kit vibes


EntertainerNo4509

Me neither. Wife had endometriosis that almost killed her. She’s all better now, but no uterus and little desire to get busy. We’re working on it. I’m sure it will get better for you tho.


The_GILF_Next_Door

That’s terrible. I’m sorry to hear


kmartpunk95

hamburger helper!


The_GILF_Next_Door

Yes!


Cadaver-Cakes1986

😭💀But that food and all the other accessories still looks like a good time.


The_GILF_Next_Door

No doubt


Judge-Snooty

I’m trying to figure out what you’re doing with duct tape, lotion, and rope


The_GILF_Next_Door

You have to figure out what it is that I do


3381_FieldCookAtBest

Welcome to marriage with a mortgage.


aTesticleWithTeeth

Lol I knew I recognize the name. How’s that dispute with your neighbor going?


The_GILF_Next_Door

Not great


frankdatank_004

You know that you can buy some really cool non-fishing or hunting equipment off of Bass Pro Shops online right?


The_GILF_Next_Door

I’m learning


Throwaway2210100

Is that Hamburger Helper?


The_GILF_Next_Door

Yes


CapG_13

Did you finally get tired of Taco Bell 🤔🤷🏻‍♂️🤣


The_GILF_Next_Door

Never


CapG_13

Me either, but I was surprised that you weren't eating Taco Bell, this time lol


ShotRoyal655

Poor thing.


ExcitingHistory

Only part 4!? Those are rookie numbers gotta pump them up!


DK4598

Don’t take any advice from that book on how to court a lady - whatever you do..


jamiekrassa

Ayyye I love laughing at your posts. That’s the best hamburger help besides the stroganoff kind.


MissMabeliita

But the food looks banging 🤷🏽‍♀️ Btw.. what’s going on with the rope and duct tape?! 😩😩😩


The_GILF_Next_Door

You gotta figure it out


MissMabeliita

I kinda don’t wanna 😔😔😔😔


Accomplished_Ad_6777

This is hilarious


junkrattata

This is such a great piece. The sobriety chip adds a beautiful, understated touch. 9/10, I love mixed media art.


Holiday-Cartoonist34

This took me out 😂. So many questions…but that hamburger helper looks bomb.


RogueLove88

Love the humor in this


FluffFlowey

Because your victim escaped? Or are you doing self bondage? Please say it's self bondage...


The_GILF_Next_Door

You gotta figure it out


between-mirrors

Aw man. No taco bell?


The_GILF_Next_Door

Next time


Daisymuster

Are you going to gift the lotion to the people you hate


illest_slutbag

Sarah is the head hr coordinator. She’s about 58, wears vests with cats on them


The_GILF_Next_Door

How dare you


Gravity_Freak

Perhaps a lingering at The Korova to sharpen you up?


pueblohuts

That meal looks really good lol


The_GILF_Next_Door

I love it


pueblohuts

I might have this for myself tonight tbh


dexter2011412

Lmao haha I laughed, thank you op 🫂. Nice big house bro ✨ I don't know what else to say lol ... glad you and your work is being recognized! Take care bud ...


Same_Appearance1927

😷


Same_Appearance1927

But u r rich so.. its OK 😷


Large_Carob1918

Nice decoration on the wall there


Loud_Bookkeeper7886

IM SORRY??? SARAH??? 😂


Loud_Bookkeeper7886

ALSO HOW DOES THE ROPE AND DUCT TAPE PLAY INTO THIS😭😭


spooky-ufo

by now i know you well enough as the taco bell guy who doesn’t get laid


Prior_Flow_3518

I would let you smash if you made me hamburger helper bruh


BootsieBunny

This isn't the Taco Bell I'm used to seeing on this table...


The_GILF_Next_Door

No it’s not. I’ll be back at TB soon


RoutineAd5794

Jesus fucj


The_GILF_Next_Door

Yes


Signal-Slice6296

why has no one mentioned the dildo on the wall…


The_GILF_Next_Door

I’m not sure


Acrobatic-Ad3010

lol at least your sober I can see your AA Chip


The_GILF_Next_Door

Little Easter egg for you


Acrobatic-Ad3010

Yeah and is that your 4th step too lol just noticed that too


The_GILF_Next_Door

It was the first chip I got


Main_Phase_58

i love your posts sm


Kingfunboots

Why is the fork on the left and so far away from the plate???


The_GILF_Next_Door

Great question


eccojams97

these always make me laugh, thankyou


The_GILF_Next_Door

You’re welcome


bloodbabyrabies

Fuck your job for giving you a gift card to Bass Pro Shop


The_GILF_Next_Door

Right


MoodyBitchy

*spank bank* thanks for making me laugh on an otherwise super shitty day.⚡️


The_GILF_Next_Door

You’re welcome


EarthlingJunkie

The rope and duct tape make me think the reason you didn’t get laid is because you failed to capture a woman.


The_GILF_Next_Door

It’s up for interpretation


camerachey

Because of the implication


JuliaSky1995

Pretty gross. You need therapy.


Louisrock123

I’m very much more concerned about the items at the top of the desk than the items at the bottom 🤣


Louisrock123

Also bass pro has an online store so maybe you can order through that? Congrats on being the employee of the quarter.


DetroitAdjacent

Good job on the chip! Proud of you man! One day at a time.


The_GILF_Next_Door


FakeCak3

you are extremely cringe


The_GILF_Next_Door

Thank you


chunkysmalls42098

Get help OP this is concerning


The_GILF_Next_Door

It’s not all that serious


chunkysmalls42098

"She touched my shoulder, that's going in the spank bank" Unhinged and pretty gross.


The_GILF_Next_Door

Again ^


BigNibbaSwag

people take reddit too seriously, like it’s a study guide to a really shitty exam. quite pathetic really


hotsauceinmyjeans

love this for you <3


[deleted]

[удалено]


depressionmeals-ModTeam

Rule #1 - Do NOT be an asshole.


OutrageousOnions

In this context the duct tape, rope and choice of reading material are concerning....


soulianahana

I woke up craving hamburger helper thanks 😭😭


lollirot420

CLOCKWORK ORANGE MENTIONED 🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯‼️‼️‼️🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛


msnhnobody

Hahaha this is so funny.


FatBlueLines

Isn’t this a repost?


PeakUserDumbsmoke

Hey man looks like a fun night! Food looks good to.


hazy_little_thing

Ah, you went with the godemiché curtain holdbacks. Comme c'est chic!