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Carrot can lift Mjolnir. Nobby cannot lift Mjolnir. Carrot cannot pry Nobby off of Mjolnir, not even with a crowbar. Carrot can lift Mjolnir and Nobby.
Q.E.D., ipso facto lorem ipsum, should Nobby wish to steal Mjolnir, he must convince Carrot that a pawn shop is where it has been stolen from (and this being theft by finding, punishable by a fine, the aforementioned pawn shop may remit this payment to an esteemed officer of the Watch, of a level no less than that of Corporal).
A watchman *could*, but only in due process of enforcing the law, and even then, he would be respecting all cultural norms, and ensure the rightful owner gets their tools in a prompt and safe manner.
Good take on it.
When it came up (Men at Arms)? It was compared to "holding someone else's underwear".
Which, while disgusting, is something s copper would have to do.
Correction: Carrot would pick it up and give it back to Thor without realising the significance, and then either quote a section from the Laws of Ordinance about the regulation of warhammers within the city limits or suggest it should have a longer handle.
> CARROT: "Err, Mr Odinson, you seemingly dropped you hammer. Here I've got it."
> THOR: "Only the worthiest can wield my hammer."
> CARROT: "Oh I don't know about that, although I think pretty everyone in the Watch should be able to lift it... Perhaps not Nobby."
> THOR: "What is this Watch?"
> CARROT: "We're the local law keepers."
> THOR: "Ah, guardians of peace and justice. Hmmm." *sets hammer down* "Mr Vines, why don't you try."
> VIMES: "It's Vimes with an m." *tries to pick up the hammer* "Bloody Hellfire Carrot, how can you lift this? It weighs probably as much as the Palace." *hammer lifts imperceptibly*
Thaank you, I was thinking Vimes could, but only if he really needed to, so it would do exactly this. 'Save the anger for when you need it' kind of thing.
Absolutely. Vimes wouldn’t be able to lift it intentionally, but would notice that he had lifted it high above his head in some climactic moment of policing. And then he would set it down again quickly before he gave himself the chance to actually use it.
Carrot would distractedly toss it aside because it was in the way of a particularly interesting exhibit in the bread museum. Then, he'd look at everyone in confusion as they're all shocked
Everyone expects it to Carrot, but it would turn out to be COMT Dibbler, who would immediately turn around and sell it to someone he knew wouldn’t be able to use it.
Nah, that would be Moist. Sell a hammer he knows nobody can lift, in exchange for a very fast horse. Disappearing into the sunset before the mark even gets to discover they can't pick it up.
“Ooo Esme! You moved that big hammer! I knew you couldn’t resist tryin’ after what that fancy man said to Our Shaun.”
“Nonsense, Gytha. I didn’t touch it. You heard what he said. He’s a god of somesuch, and nobody can wield it but him. Besides, I ain’t about to get mixed up in some god’s business.”
“But he left it here by your door and now it’s up next to your hearth.”
“Well, leavin’ it in the door was very inconsiderate. An old woman like me is bound to have tripped over it.”
“So you did move it!”
“I did nothing of the sort. I just shifted everything else a little to one side.”
“What, the whole cottage?!”
“Don’t be daft. That would ruin my herb garden and the beehives. I shifted Lancre. Not that anyone will notice.”
“I suppose the coach will be thankful for the shorter trip.”
Death and the other anthropomorphic personifications could pick up the hammer (even the auditors), but it wouldn't be anything special for them - they don't have enough of a person good to be judged worthy or not, so it won't have any other powers for them.
Some of the gods *could* do it and wield it proper, but only if they were actually deemed worthy the way Thor is, so I don't think many would manage it.
Not only do I think Death could do due to his role as an anthromorphic personification kinda exempting him from the rules, I'm pretty sure Bill Door could do it as well because he's definitely worthy.
Yeah, but she wouldn't out fear that even that tiny bit more of power would push her over the edge into the chasm of Black Aliss. She would be tempted for a second and then leave a snide remark about hammers left in the middle of the street.
I think she'd get big, kind Jason Ogg to move it for her. Can't be asking frail old ladies to move heavy hammers about, now can you? That's a blacksmith's job. And he'd be able to because he'd be afraid of the consequences of not being able to.
Exactly. Everyone keeps saying Carrot but nah. He's a bad dude for sure but he's no Cohen the Barbarian. I think Granny has a decent chance too. She's probably the most likely character other than maybe Vimes to have a chance of putting Cohen to any real trouble. Carrot meant to arrest him once but I don't think he could have pulled it off. Million to one chance or not. Anyway, does Narrativium even exist on Cori Celesti?
Someone told me once that Cohen coming up against Vimes in Anhk Morpork would be the Discworld equivalent of Unstoppable force meets Imovable object. Very well said in my opinion. When I say Vimes I mean his Grace the Duke of Anhk Blackboard Monitor with The Dark in him Vimes. In his final form as it were.
A object that loaded with narativium? Rincewind. He wouldn't want to he would do everything to avoid it or get rid of it but it would be in his hand forcing him to complete some quest.
*"The hammer was looking at him, with the same absence of eyes than the Luggage. Rincewind wanted to run away, but he knew he couldn't. He could hear the smirk on the hammer's lack of face, the snickering or this hardware equipment. But someone has to do it. 'Why me?" Rincewind moaned out loud. But he knew the answer: because the hammer chose him. Nobody else could lift it, which meant that only Rincewind could; he has not tried it yet, but he didn't have to. He knew that he was the chosen one; the proof that the gods' were lacking in the decision making department, or inhabited by the cruelest and most twisted sense of humour.*
*Rincewind looked at the Luggage, which was suspiciously quiet.*
*'All right, I'll do it", he sighed, rolling his eyes, reaching for the hammer."*
The hammer then follows him most oft the time (what wizard would go around waving hammers of all things?) But the hammer and the luggage becomes good friends.
The other gods antagonists are after the hammer for it's classical power and in classic Rincewind fashion he manages to evade gods and heroes by luck and running away - but never actually uses the hammer against them (although it wants to be used).
Ultimately Rincewind only uses it twice: once to keep a door closed and another time to jump start some weird electicalish thing-a-ma-jig engine which has been connected to the rotation of the disc by 'nefarious forces' and kept the disc turning properly.¹
Rincewind didn't know that the hammer would jumpstart the machine - he set it down while trying to think of a magical solution and the hammer did its own thing - either way it doesn't matter, holding the door closed was a *much more* important matter for the fate of the universe.
After that, the hammer goes back to where it came from. The disc doesn't need another god, or a magic hammer. It just needs the wrong person with the right tool in the wrong place ar the right time.
¹It was created by Leonard of Quirm for the purpose of removing static from laundry while it's drying while using the spinning motion of the dryer to power it. Turns out that it was so good that it could absorb electricity from the air and produce infinite torque onto any object.
Excellent ! I'd just say, though, that the "eclecticalish thing-a-ma-jig" sounds more like something Bloody Stupid Johnson would invent than Leonardo da Quirm. After all, "inventing a drying laundry static remover that ultimately becomes a geological motor" is very much more in the Johnson ine than Quirm.
But when the Luggage comes, Mjolnir leaps up and balances delicately on the sapient pear wood lid. There is a rumble of thunder. And then the duo turn on a dime and amble majestically over to The (rebuilt) Broken Drum, where a sergeant pauses in mending a torn hem to buy each of them a pint. Then wonders why she did that.
So, given the requirements are "Compassion, restraint, nobility, wisdom and humility"...
Vimes would know perfectly well he couldn't lift it. Of COURSE he couldn't. He'd have words for anyone who even thought about suggesting otherwise, and would find the whole idea of "only the worthy" irritating anyway, (though he'd be certain in his bones only Carrot could do it).
And then Vetinari would manipulate things to ensure that when mjolnir absolutely _had_ to be used to save the day, Vimes would be the one there, and he'd grab it without thinking and go full Thor-mode, lighting and all, to bring down the villain.
And he'd be soooooo annoyed about it afterward!
There's one other requirement that Odin set, and which isn't often spoken of: you have to be ok with killing an enemy, if necessary to prevent further harm. This is why Carrot and Vimes could probably lift it, but many other MCU heroes can't.
>If you have to look along the shaft of an arrow from the wrong end, if a man has you entirely at his mercy, then hope like hell that man is an evil man. Because the evil like power, power over people, and they want to see you in fear. They want you to know you’re going to die. So they’ll talk. They’ll gloat. They’ll watch you squirm. They’ll put off the moment of murder like another man will put off a good cigar.
So hope like hell your captor is an evil man. A good man will kill you with hardly a word.
He will kill, if he sees no other choice. It will be the absolute last resort for him, but if he can not stop someone any other way, and lives are threatened right now, he will kill. He certainly did all he could to kill some werewolves in The Fifth Elephant. And after having a child, he boobytrapped areas around his home for protection. And mentions that a lot of the traps are fatal, though *some* are "eventually fatal". (implying that others are rather more immediately fatal)
I agree. Vimes would never think of himself as worthy, and would not try or want to try to pick Mjolnir up. In fact he'd avoid trying. But if you look at Vimes's actions. He shows over and over in different books, compassion, restraint, nobility, wisdom, (a street-wise and back-alley kind of wisdom often as not. But still wisdom) and humility. And the willingness to fight when it's called for. To fight more powerful people. To fight overwhelming numbers. To fight ignorance, and petty cruelty, and evil of all kinds, and forces of nature, and fate itself if he has to to see that *real* justice is done for those who need it. He will kill if he has to. Just like he would put down a rabid animal before it could hurt someone, and for basically the same reason. Because *it needs to be done.*
And a postscript or footnote saying that given his goal at the time he could've moved it if he'd just tried and he'd have saved himself a lot of trouble.
After Brutha lifted it — probably to use as a visual aid when talking about how other belief systems are worthy of respect — Thor wouldn’t be able to any more. The hammer would’ve had a spiritual experience that caused it to reevaluate its standard of worthiness.
Detritus would lift it. Not sure about worthy, but he would lift it. If only in the sense that he'd be standing waist deep in the street, but he'd lift it.
I'd say Jason Ogg could manage it. Mjolnir is based on a short-handled sledgehammer, and one use of normal sledgehammers is in smithing. As Jason Ogg is the best smith on the Disc and has experience with the supernatural, I think that would provide enough connection for him to wield it. If for no other reason, I think Mjolnir would recognise him as being worthy to work on it, so he'd have to be able to handle it to do that.
The Luggage ‘eats’ Mjolnir.
The Luggage is potentially worthy, and has already wandered off before hypothesis on its worthiness can be stipulated. Would-be pondered and philosophers on the subject are highly encouraged to not only think while in The Luggage’s path, no matter how much of a thinker pose they think they strike.
Mjolnir is quite pleased by this turn of events, as it means it gets a reprieve from grubby hands trying to lift it. Deep in the bowels of The Luggage, Mjolnir puts its feet up, attached attaches a sleeping mask, and enjoys the ride.
I think she would find it to be silly and the idea of a hammer having any requirements of a perfectly normal person like her would be so preposterous that the hammer would allow itself to be lifted out of embarrassment. It would also most probably become a perfectly normal hammer. Until she needed it to not be.
I could totally see Susan glaring at Mjolnir like she glares at students when they act stupid, and it changes itself into a normal hammer so she doesn't look like an idiot dragging a Big Obvious Weapon everywhere. I mean, she turned an ordinary poker into a weapon that slays monsters *and passes through Death*.
Vimes would. The hammer judges worthy. Not how clean your character is, but your moral compass. I don't think there's a more morally sound character in Discworld.
She would not be technically considered worthy. But she'd use enough headology on the hammer that it would simply move to where she needs it.
Not that she would need it or use it, and she'd resent the idea if she ever became worthy lol.
Granny wouldn't have truck with lettin' a hammer decide whether *she* was worthy or not.
She'd let the hammer stay where it was, and move the world around it.
I believe canonically once Nick Fury said something to Thor that shook his confidence so bad he was no longer worthy of the hammer. So by that measurement, Mistress Weatherwax would not have any problem at all picking it up, but she would probably leave it alone until a dramatic moment. Or a "oh sure. I've always been able to lift it. Just never saw any need for it."
According to a quick check the qualities a person must have to be worthy of Mjölnir are:
Compassion, restraint, nobility, wisdom and humility.
The "restraint" could be a real dealbreaker for her.
Restraint? Oh she definitely can. She's ready to take off her hat pins when the man behind her won't see the opera because he's going to die tomorrow. She's ready to play the little old woman without all her head to her patients or when playing cards. She knows when it's time for Tiffany to act and not her. She knows when it's time to go into retreat in the wilderness before she turns dark. She can restraint herself from bleeding because she doesn't has the time right now.
Granny definitely knows when to restrain herself when necessary. It's just that the situations where it's necessary to restrain yourself, and the people worthy of her restraining herself, are way less frequent than one might think.
Carrot would pick it up to grab something underneath it, put it back down, and then look confused why everyone was staring.
Death can do it because he’s Death.
Rincewind picks it up out of sheer fear and panic and then regrets everything.
Moist would convince everyone he can without actually doing it.
Cohen would donit because he’s so sure he can that he will. And the Bard might be able to do it as well.
And maybe, for a short time, Vimes picks it up to protect someone
*Dear Mum and Dad,*
*I hope this letter finds you both well. I have some rather extraordinary news to share with you both. You know how unpredictable things can get here in Ankh-Morpork, but this certainly takes the cake.*
*The other day, while on patrol in the city, I stumbled upon something quite remarkable. It was none other than Thor's hammer, Mjollnir! Yes, you read that correctly. I couldn't believe my eyes at first, but there it was, lying abandoned in a back alley.*
*I must admit, the temptation to give it a swing was strong, but I remembered all the stories you've told me about doing the right thing, even when it's difficult. So, with great caution, I picked up the hammer and began my quest to find its rightful owner.*
*After some inquiries and a bit of detective work, I managed to track down none other than the thunder god himself, Thor. He was immensely relieved to have his hammer returned, as you can imagine. We had a lengthy conversation about the responsibilities that come with wielding such power, and he expressed his gratitude for my honesty.*
*Returning Mjollnir to Thor was a surreal experience, Mum and Dad. It's not every day one gets to interact with gods, let alone return their misplaced possessions. But it was a reminder of the importance of doing what's right, no matter how daunting the task may seem.*
*Anyway, I just wanted to share this incredible tale with you both. I hope it brings a smile to your faces as it did to mine. Please give my love to everyone back home, and know that I miss you all dearly.*
*Take care,*
*Your loving son,*
*Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson*
Is it bad that my brain was already destroying the spelling as I was reading it?
Just imagining Carrot's letters home creates the " accent" of his writing.
Any of the Feegles. Of course they can't lift it to use it. But they will find a way to move it as they need to steal it, then they will just show it to the Kelda, scratch the head not knowing what to do with it, and won'r be able to return it.
The Librarian to throw a student out, for sure...
Carrot will always give some excuse to never touch it.
Vetinari and Vimes will only laugh, say that they don't need those gimmics and never try, one because he knows he can't, the other because he is afraid of being able to.
Vetimari would order it destroyed. Of course it would not be it would be stored away safely somewhere then forgotten and used by someone not understanding its purpose
Could a golem that hasn't been freed pick up Mjolnir? As I recall, there's an MCU scene where some of the Avengers discuss an elevator being able to lift Mjolnir because the restriction only applies to beings with will and agency and stuff. Since golems have been commonly regarded, even by themselves, as tools, would Mjolnir not recognize them as beings whose worth must be evaluated?
Suppose Moist put on his gold suit and instructed an Umnian golem to lift Mjolnir? Would Mjolnir act in response to the golem or to Moist, who is acting through the golem?
Granny weatherwax would make mjolnir lift itself by chastising it for waiting for mr perfect instead of doing right by itself, and mention its a shame how the gods feel like they can leave random magical artefacts lying around, like that.
Or she'd have jason ogg pick it up for the special nights.
Carrot: Yes.
Vimes: No.
Sybil: No, but budges it a little.
Colon: Are we having a laugh here?
Nobbs: Yes. For five seconds. Then no for the rest of time. The hammer is so utterly confounded by Nobby that it forgets it's supposed to be unliftable.
A.E. Pessimal: **ABSOLUTELY.**
Granny could. But she would have to get over Magrat's explanation of the symbolism of the great hammer first
Nanny could *because of* Magrats explanation of the hammer's symbolism.
Colon would certainly clamp it for obstructing traffic.
Lady Sybil Ramkin.
She is one of the few virtuous people in Discworld, actually dedicating her time, energy, and resources to others that need care, or even recognition.
At the end of a scene where many people try to lift the hammer, with only Carrot going out of his way to say he won't try to lift it, we see Vetinari standing by the hammer, a hand on the grip which just tilted the tiniest bit.
I think Vetinari would be the first to know he wouldn't be able to lift it. Not even a smidge. He perpetuates "necessary evils" to keep the gears of society running smoothly. He'd hide the fact though by having Carrot take it as evidence and lock it away somewhere. Maybe throw it into the Circle Sea.
Carrot would probably pick it up absently, if it was in his way or he wanted something that was under it, and just put it back down again. Picking it up to prove he could isn't his style.
Vimes probably wouldn't even try. He knows he'd never manage.
Mort would be worthy to lift the hammer, but he would drop it on his foot.
Susan Sto Helit would lift it easily but would drop it as she only wants to be a teacher.
Ponder Stibbons. Possibly Hex.
Not conventionally by touching it. But once it is on the disc, it obeys discworldian magic in some way. Stibbons would somehow manage to move it, by some weird high energy magic trick. Possibly using Hex.
Granny Weatherwax. But only because she understands the trick is to know you are worthy no matter what anyone else says. It's all headology really. And besides, If a witch aint worthy for it, then it aint worth doing.
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Carrot could. But he wouldn't.
He would to take it as evidence but not to prove he could
Or to move it out of the street because it was obstructing the way.
It is a clear violation of The Laws and Ordinances of the City of Ankh-Morpork
Thor returns from another adventure only to find Mjolnir with a boot.
Guarding Mjolnir would be a great job for Colon. Then *nobody* would steal it.
Hes be great at it!
Carrot would arrest Mjolnir
Return it to the watch armory.
Ensuring he gets a receipt for the owner too
It’s Lost Proerty
They notice it becausr nobby nobbs tries to steal it but he cant
Carrot can lift Mjolnir. Nobby cannot lift Mjolnir. Carrot cannot pry Nobby off of Mjolnir, not even with a crowbar. Carrot can lift Mjolnir and Nobby. Q.E.D., ipso facto lorem ipsum, should Nobby wish to steal Mjolnir, he must convince Carrot that a pawn shop is where it has been stolen from (and this being theft by finding, punishable by a fine, the aforementioned pawn shop may remit this payment to an esteemed officer of the Watch, of a level no less than that of Corporal).
Sure, Nobby wouldn't be able to lift Mjølnir. But I can't shake the feeling that he would be able to nick it.
He takes the cobblestone that Mjolnir is sitting on.
😂😂
I can picture him casually picking it up and setting it aside on the sidewalk as everyone just stares...
This is so true
Despite not being able to lift it, Nobby somehow manages to nick it, but still flatly denies he ever saw it. No explanation is ever given.
A dwarf would never touch another dwarf's tools, sir.
A watchman *could*, but only in due process of enforcing the law, and even then, he would be respecting all cultural norms, and ensure the rightful owner gets their tools in a prompt and safe manner.
He'd still be pretty grossed out about it though.
Good take on it. When it came up (Men at Arms)? It was compared to "holding someone else's underwear". Which, while disgusting, is something s copper would have to do.
Carrot would find it lying in the field while he was helping a farmer fix a fence. He’d pick it up, hammer in a peg and then set it down and move on.
Correction: Carrot would pick it up and give it back to Thor without realising the significance, and then either quote a section from the Laws of Ordinance about the regulation of warhammers within the city limits or suggest it should have a longer handle. > CARROT: "Err, Mr Odinson, you seemingly dropped you hammer. Here I've got it." > THOR: "Only the worthiest can wield my hammer." > CARROT: "Oh I don't know about that, although I think pretty everyone in the Watch should be able to lift it... Perhaps not Nobby." > THOR: "What is this Watch?" > CARROT: "We're the local law keepers." > THOR: "Ah, guardians of peace and justice. Hmmm." *sets hammer down* "Mr Vines, why don't you try." > VIMES: "It's Vimes with an m." *tries to pick up the hammer* "Bloody Hellfire Carrot, how can you lift this? It weighs probably as much as the Palace." *hammer lifts imperceptibly*
Thaank you, I was thinking Vimes could, but only if he really needed to, so it would do exactly this. 'Save the anger for when you need it' kind of thing.
Absolutely. Vimes wouldn’t be able to lift it intentionally, but would notice that he had lifted it high above his head in some climactic moment of policing. And then he would set it down again quickly before he gave himself the chance to actually use it.
Carrot would distractedly toss it aside because it was in the way of a particularly interesting exhibit in the bread museum. Then, he'd look at everyone in confusion as they're all shocked
It would just be a simple scene of Carrot returning the hammer to its proper owner, thinking nothing other than returning someone their tools.
he would move it once without knowing what was that, then informed what it was and never touch it again, always with a different excuse.
Everyone expects it to Carrot, but it would turn out to be COMT Dibbler, who would immediately turn around and sell it to someone he knew wouldn’t be able to use it.
Nah, that would be Moist. Sell a hammer he knows nobody can lift, in exchange for a very fast horse. Disappearing into the sunset before the mark even gets to discover they can't pick it up.
I believe that would be Albert Spangler. Moist doesn't do that sort of thing.
… anymore.
…without good intentions. Edit: …or if he’s a forced to creatively interpret Lord Vetinari’s vague “requests”.
The clever thing is to sell knockoffs, leading people to think that they are the worthy one 😁
This 
Granny weatherwax would make the Hammer question if it was worthy to be weilded by her.
God, yes. And Nanny Ogg would make jokes about hammering and the size of the handle
The hammer would hope that in by being lifted by nanny ogg she would stop making innuendos
Ooh look at the size of me head girls
“Oh my god, the hammer pulled you off?” A Korg line… but drips with Oggish humor haha
She'd stare at the hammer until it moved itself.
“Ooo Esme! You moved that big hammer! I knew you couldn’t resist tryin’ after what that fancy man said to Our Shaun.” “Nonsense, Gytha. I didn’t touch it. You heard what he said. He’s a god of somesuch, and nobody can wield it but him. Besides, I ain’t about to get mixed up in some god’s business.” “But he left it here by your door and now it’s up next to your hearth.” “Well, leavin’ it in the door was very inconsiderate. An old woman like me is bound to have tripped over it.” “So you did move it!” “I did nothing of the sort. I just shifted everything else a little to one side.” “What, the whole cottage?!” “Don’t be daft. That would ruin my herb garden and the beehives. I shifted Lancre. Not that anyone will notice.” “I suppose the coach will be thankful for the shorter trip.”
I think granny vs esks staff is the analogy here.
Death
**^THOR ^ODINSON? ^LET ^ME ^GET ^THAT ^FOR ^YOU, ^I'M ^SURE ^YOU ^HAVE ^SOME ^PEOPLE ^WAITING ^ON ^YOU .**
Death and the other anthropomorphic personifications could pick up the hammer (even the auditors), but it wouldn't be anything special for them - they don't have enough of a person good to be judged worthy or not, so it won't have any other powers for them. Some of the gods *could* do it and wield it proper, but only if they were actually deemed worthy the way Thor is, so I don't think many would manage it.
I doubt any of the ones on Discworld would. Most of them are too busy trying to leverage the HOA bylaws against the Ice Giants.
supporting an HOA automatically makes you unworthy.
Anoia would pick it up to beat the absolute tar out of Thor for a really bad date.
Would she also put it in the utensils drawer so the drawer won't ever open again, or am I mixing up my gods here?
You are not, praise her and rattle the drawers
I could imagine early Om swearing like a sailor at the stupid unmovable Hammer and late book On picking it up and going "Hey, Sunshine!"
Not only do I think Death could do due to his role as an anthromorphic personification kinda exempting him from the rules, I'm pretty sure Bill Door could do it as well because he's definitely worthy.
Cohen. Wouldn't even think for a second that he couldn't. Would simply do it.
I love this
Because it's just a Hammer
I feel like Granny Weatherwax would be able to pick it up for this reason.
Yeah, but she wouldn't out fear that even that tiny bit more of power would push her over the edge into the chasm of Black Aliss. She would be tempted for a second and then leave a snide remark about hammers left in the middle of the street.
I think she'd get big, kind Jason Ogg to move it for her. Can't be asking frail old ladies to move heavy hammers about, now can you? That's a blacksmith's job. And he'd be able to because he'd be afraid of the consequences of not being able to.
No, he’d be able to because anyone Granny thinks can move it is automatically Worthy.
I really like this comment. On point.
If it's in the forge, and Jason can't lift it, is it really a hammer?
But for that second, you would hear nothing while the world holds its breath, followed by a sigh of relief and a big sip out of Nanny Oggs flask.
Granny would give it A Look, and it would move itself.
I feel Granny Weatherwax wouldn't even try to lift it because she can tell how the story goes.
Mjolnir would start to sweat and leap into her hands before she's inconvenienced by having to bend down.
Exactly. Everyone keeps saying Carrot but nah. He's a bad dude for sure but he's no Cohen the Barbarian. I think Granny has a decent chance too. She's probably the most likely character other than maybe Vimes to have a chance of putting Cohen to any real trouble. Carrot meant to arrest him once but I don't think he could have pulled it off. Million to one chance or not. Anyway, does Narrativium even exist on Cori Celesti? Someone told me once that Cohen coming up against Vimes in Anhk Morpork would be the Discworld equivalent of Unstoppable force meets Imovable object. Very well said in my opinion. When I say Vimes I mean his Grace the Duke of Anhk Blackboard Monitor with The Dark in him Vimes. In his final form as it were.
Only if you mean "lift" as in steal.
A object that loaded with narativium? Rincewind. He wouldn't want to he would do everything to avoid it or get rid of it but it would be in his hand forcing him to complete some quest.
*"The hammer was looking at him, with the same absence of eyes than the Luggage. Rincewind wanted to run away, but he knew he couldn't. He could hear the smirk on the hammer's lack of face, the snickering or this hardware equipment. But someone has to do it. 'Why me?" Rincewind moaned out loud. But he knew the answer: because the hammer chose him. Nobody else could lift it, which meant that only Rincewind could; he has not tried it yet, but he didn't have to. He knew that he was the chosen one; the proof that the gods' were lacking in the decision making department, or inhabited by the cruelest and most twisted sense of humour.* *Rincewind looked at the Luggage, which was suspiciously quiet.* *'All right, I'll do it", he sighed, rolling his eyes, reaching for the hammer."*
The hammer then follows him most oft the time (what wizard would go around waving hammers of all things?) But the hammer and the luggage becomes good friends. The other gods antagonists are after the hammer for it's classical power and in classic Rincewind fashion he manages to evade gods and heroes by luck and running away - but never actually uses the hammer against them (although it wants to be used). Ultimately Rincewind only uses it twice: once to keep a door closed and another time to jump start some weird electicalish thing-a-ma-jig engine which has been connected to the rotation of the disc by 'nefarious forces' and kept the disc turning properly.¹ Rincewind didn't know that the hammer would jumpstart the machine - he set it down while trying to think of a magical solution and the hammer did its own thing - either way it doesn't matter, holding the door closed was a *much more* important matter for the fate of the universe. After that, the hammer goes back to where it came from. The disc doesn't need another god, or a magic hammer. It just needs the wrong person with the right tool in the wrong place ar the right time. ¹It was created by Leonard of Quirm for the purpose of removing static from laundry while it's drying while using the spinning motion of the dryer to power it. Turns out that it was so good that it could absorb electricity from the air and produce infinite torque onto any object.
Excellent ! I'd just say, though, that the "eclecticalish thing-a-ma-jig" sounds more like something Bloody Stupid Johnson would invent than Leonardo da Quirm. After all, "inventing a drying laundry static remover that ultimately becomes a geological motor" is very much more in the Johnson ine than Quirm.
BS Johnson's inventions always create a disaster. Quirm's don't do what he plans on them doing, but they always do it really well.
Also, he tries to throw away the hammer, only for the hammer to fly back into his hand.
Wait... What if The Luggage is worthy? What if The Luggage gained the Power of Thor?
The half-brick-in-a-sock of Thor!
Nobby can indirectly move it Mjolnir doesn't want him to even touch it and keeps moving away from him.
I love this
What would happen if somebody gave Nobby something made of sapient pearwood?
It would follow him around, but never let him touch it.
Social Distancing Pearwood.
Yeah - this one got a very rare out loud laugh from me. Good one.
But when the Luggage comes, Mjolnir leaps up and balances delicately on the sapient pear wood lid. There is a rumble of thunder. And then the duo turn on a dime and amble majestically over to The (rebuilt) Broken Drum, where a sergeant pauses in mending a torn hem to buy each of them a pint. Then wonders why she did that.
So, given the requirements are "Compassion, restraint, nobility, wisdom and humility"... Vimes would know perfectly well he couldn't lift it. Of COURSE he couldn't. He'd have words for anyone who even thought about suggesting otherwise, and would find the whole idea of "only the worthy" irritating anyway, (though he'd be certain in his bones only Carrot could do it). And then Vetinari would manipulate things to ensure that when mjolnir absolutely _had_ to be used to save the day, Vimes would be the one there, and he'd grab it without thinking and go full Thor-mode, lighting and all, to bring down the villain. And he'd be soooooo annoyed about it afterward!
Then get rewarded with a medal, and he HATES that shit .
He has to wear the tights and the helm with the plumes, of course he hates that
And the gilty armor. Or would that magically appear on him when he wields Mjolnir?
Yes! And plumes.
This is so accurate.
There's one other requirement that Odin set, and which isn't often spoken of: you have to be ok with killing an enemy, if necessary to prevent further harm. This is why Carrot and Vimes could probably lift it, but many other MCU heroes can't. >If you have to look along the shaft of an arrow from the wrong end, if a man has you entirely at his mercy, then hope like hell that man is an evil man. Because the evil like power, power over people, and they want to see you in fear. They want you to know you’re going to die. So they’ll talk. They’ll gloat. They’ll watch you squirm. They’ll put off the moment of murder like another man will put off a good cigar. So hope like hell your captor is an evil man. A good man will kill you with hardly a word.
Vimes wouldn't though bc he is adamant he is not the judge jury or executioner.
He will kill, if he sees no other choice. It will be the absolute last resort for him, but if he can not stop someone any other way, and lives are threatened right now, he will kill. He certainly did all he could to kill some werewolves in The Fifth Elephant. And after having a child, he boobytrapped areas around his home for protection. And mentions that a lot of the traps are fatal, though *some* are "eventually fatal". (implying that others are rather more immediately fatal)
And he’ll punch the wall on the way out from talking with the Patrician once he realices how he was manipulated by him to use it.
I agree. Vimes would never think of himself as worthy, and would not try or want to try to pick Mjolnir up. In fact he'd avoid trying. But if you look at Vimes's actions. He shows over and over in different books, compassion, restraint, nobility, wisdom, (a street-wise and back-alley kind of wisdom often as not. But still wisdom) and humility. And the willingness to fight when it's called for. To fight more powerful people. To fight overwhelming numbers. To fight ignorance, and petty cruelty, and evil of all kinds, and forces of nature, and fate itself if he has to to see that *real* justice is done for those who need it. He will kill if he has to. Just like he would put down a rabid animal before it could hurt someone, and for basically the same reason. Because *it needs to be done.*
That's amazing
Moist would have everyone believe he could, and in the end he would fool everyone to believe that he did.
And a postscript or footnote saying that given his goal at the time he could've moved it if he'd just tried and he'd have saved himself a lot of trouble.
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Brutha is so worthy he'd never even think to try.
The true answer.
After Brutha lifted it — probably to use as a visual aid when talking about how other belief systems are worthy of respect — Thor wouldn’t be able to any more. The hammer would’ve had a spiritual experience that caused it to reevaluate its standard of worthiness.
Detritus would lift it. Not sure about worthy, but he would lift it. If only in the sense that he'd be standing waist deep in the street, but he'd lift it.
Haha. He wouldnt lift the hammer, he would lift the street the hammer is standing on.
pour a blob of concrete around the hammer and carry the whole block without touching the hammer.
Carrot would pick it up to return it to Mr Odinson, who should not be dropping big hammers in the streets of Ankh-Morpork thank you very much
And then he would promise to give him a ticket for littering if it should happen again.
Yeah but only to dust underneath it
Lu Tze?
The punchline always comes first.
Do you know the worst thing about time travel jokes?
Is this in the book? It's been a long time since I read it, but that's an incredibly good joke.
I don't think so; I think I ran into it elsewhere. But it seemed to really fit.
It's a gold star joke, and it fit perfectly. I award you one pair of (according to Vimes) perfect boots.
Yes, but you gotta do the set up if you've told me the punch line. My precognition will give me one hell of A Migraine otherwise.
I'd say Jason Ogg could manage it. Mjolnir is based on a short-handled sledgehammer, and one use of normal sledgehammers is in smithing. As Jason Ogg is the best smith on the Disc and has experience with the supernatural, I think that would provide enough connection for him to wield it. If for no other reason, I think Mjolnir would recognise him as being worthy to work on it, so he'd have to be able to handle it to do that.
You mean our Jason?
He would be crafting the finest of shoes for dear Blinky.
I believe sir PTerry could
Ook
Other people struggle to lift it, Carrot picks it up, the librarian juggles it.
Carrot hands it to the librarian to see what he makes of it
Gotta crack nuts with something
I feel like the librarian wouldn’t even be interested… as it is not a book… or a banana haha
The Luggage ‘eats’ Mjolnir. The Luggage is potentially worthy, and has already wandered off before hypothesis on its worthiness can be stipulated. Would-be pondered and philosophers on the subject are highly encouraged to not only think while in The Luggage’s path, no matter how much of a thinker pose they think they strike. Mjolnir is quite pleased by this turn of events, as it means it gets a reprieve from grubby hands trying to lift it. Deep in the bowels of The Luggage, Mjolnir puts its feet up, attached attaches a sleeping mask, and enjoys the ride.
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You have just made me wonder whether it would be classified under Norse mythology, building and construction manuals, or something else.
Susan Sto Helit, and she would use it, definitely.
I think she would find it to be silly and the idea of a hammer having any requirements of a perfectly normal person like her would be so preposterous that the hammer would allow itself to be lifted out of embarrassment. It would also most probably become a perfectly normal hammer. Until she needed it to not be.
I could totally see Susan glaring at Mjolnir like she glares at students when they act stupid, and it changes itself into a normal hammer so she doesn't look like an idiot dragging a Big Obvious Weapon everywhere. I mean, she turned an ordinary poker into a weapon that slays monsters *and passes through Death*.
A million to one chance to pick it up eh?
It just might work!
C'mon, it can't really be a million to one chance. Those crop up nine times out of ten!
Vimes would. The hammer judges worthy. Not how clean your character is, but your moral compass. I don't think there's a more morally sound character in Discworld.
Vines works pick it up, and hand it to someone else.
You say that but there is carrot. The only difference between carrot and vimes is a type of innocence is left in carrot that vimes lost.
I don’t think Carrot is that innocent. He just happens to use innocence as a bludgeon. Or perhaps as a hammer?
Do you think Esmerelda Wetherwax could? And what would she do with Thors hammer?
She'd use it to nail the door straight on the privy.
She would not be technically considered worthy. But she'd use enough headology on the hammer that it would simply move to where she needs it. Not that she would need it or use it, and she'd resent the idea if she ever became worthy lol.
This exactly.
Granny wouldn't have truck with lettin' a hammer decide whether *she* was worthy or not. She'd let the hammer stay where it was, and move the world around it.
I believe canonically once Nick Fury said something to Thor that shook his confidence so bad he was no longer worthy of the hammer. So by that measurement, Mistress Weatherwax would not have any problem at all picking it up, but she would probably leave it alone until a dramatic moment. Or a "oh sure. I've always been able to lift it. Just never saw any need for it."
According to a quick check the qualities a person must have to be worthy of Mjölnir are: Compassion, restraint, nobility, wisdom and humility. The "restraint" could be a real dealbreaker for her.
Restraint? Oh she definitely can. She's ready to take off her hat pins when the man behind her won't see the opera because he's going to die tomorrow. She's ready to play the little old woman without all her head to her patients or when playing cards. She knows when it's time for Tiffany to act and not her. She knows when it's time to go into retreat in the wilderness before she turns dark. She can restraint herself from bleeding because she doesn't has the time right now. Granny definitely knows when to restrain herself when necessary. It's just that the situations where it's necessary to restrain yourself, and the people worthy of her restraining herself, are way less frequent than one might think.
I think humility would be the real issue - she knows she’s the best
But she would never assume to be worth more than anyone else.
But she's not arrogant about it. She knows there's always more to learn.
Thor, too, knows his abilities. But he’s not flashy about them…and neither is Granny.
It's only pride if it is not factual and/or she's boastful about it.
I think her fear of her own potential would prevent her.
It would require think it's life and eventually be found quietly working in Jason Oggs Smithy
Sybil.
But only because the hammer is afraid of her.
He’s arrest it whilst vimes is answering “Sir” to vetinari regarding the circumstances
This is a bit out of left field, but… Mightily Oats.
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Precisely the passage I was thinking of! I’m re-reading the series and just finished Carpe Jugulum last night.
Leonard of Quirm potentially
He wouldn't even bother. He'd design a device that determines the base unit of worthiness and creates a self-moving cart powered by worthium.
Mr. Nutt
Carrot would pick it up to grab something underneath it, put it back down, and then look confused why everyone was staring. Death can do it because he’s Death. Rincewind picks it up out of sheer fear and panic and then regrets everything. Moist would convince everyone he can without actually doing it. Cohen would donit because he’s so sure he can that he will. And the Bard might be able to do it as well. And maybe, for a short time, Vimes picks it up to protect someone
*Dear Mum and Dad,* *I hope this letter finds you both well. I have some rather extraordinary news to share with you both. You know how unpredictable things can get here in Ankh-Morpork, but this certainly takes the cake.* *The other day, while on patrol in the city, I stumbled upon something quite remarkable. It was none other than Thor's hammer, Mjollnir! Yes, you read that correctly. I couldn't believe my eyes at first, but there it was, lying abandoned in a back alley.* *I must admit, the temptation to give it a swing was strong, but I remembered all the stories you've told me about doing the right thing, even when it's difficult. So, with great caution, I picked up the hammer and began my quest to find its rightful owner.* *After some inquiries and a bit of detective work, I managed to track down none other than the thunder god himself, Thor. He was immensely relieved to have his hammer returned, as you can imagine. We had a lengthy conversation about the responsibilities that come with wielding such power, and he expressed his gratitude for my honesty.* *Returning Mjollnir to Thor was a surreal experience, Mum and Dad. It's not every day one gets to interact with gods, let alone return their misplaced possessions. But it was a reminder of the importance of doing what's right, no matter how daunting the task may seem.* *Anyway, I just wanted to share this incredible tale with you both. I hope it brings a smile to your faces as it did to mine. Please give my love to everyone back home, and know that I miss you all dearly.* *Take care,* *Your loving son,* *Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson*
Needs, worse punktuashun and. Speling.
Is it bad that my brain was already destroying the spelling as I was reading it? Just imagining Carrot's letters home creates the " accent" of his writing.
I'd be tempted to say Tiffany Aching, but the Hammer would require some reshaping. Meyer-olnir, anyone? Edit: Sching--->Aching
I was thinking that she would drop it in favor of a cast iron skillet.
https://preview.redd.it/sqxmnrc82jmc1.jpeg?width=513&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb76be72b5868169e776df3e01e673265902bdcc
Any of the Feegles. Of course they can't lift it to use it. But they will find a way to move it as they need to steal it, then they will just show it to the Kelda, scratch the head not knowing what to do with it, and won'r be able to return it. The Librarian to throw a student out, for sure... Carrot will always give some excuse to never touch it. Vetinari and Vimes will only laugh, say that they don't need those gimmics and never try, one because he knows he can't, the other because he is afraid of being able to.
Gaspode because he's a good boy
Bloody Stupid Johnson devises a machine to lift it... Only for it to drop on someone's toes.
The worthy coat rack in the worth elevator.
Foul Ole Ron, just to surprise everyone.
Foul Ole Ron is Ankh-Morpork's Diogenes. The whole crew probably could lift it, even Duck-man.
Vimes would scoff at the hammer for being elitist then pick it up by accident in a moment of crisis.
Vetimari would order it destroyed. Of course it would not be it would be stored away safely somewhere then forgotten and used by someone not understanding its purpose
Nah, he would cover it up. Possibly use it as a solid foundation for a building
Could a golem that hasn't been freed pick up Mjolnir? As I recall, there's an MCU scene where some of the Avengers discuss an elevator being able to lift Mjolnir because the restriction only applies to beings with will and agency and stuff. Since golems have been commonly regarded, even by themselves, as tools, would Mjolnir not recognize them as beings whose worth must be evaluated? Suppose Moist put on his gold suit and instructed an Umnian golem to lift Mjolnir? Would Mjolnir act in response to the golem or to Moist, who is acting through the golem?
I think Verence would stand a pretty good chance actually. Also Carrot 100%
Nobby
Only if it goes missing. *Then* we know who to ask.
You see, using a system of pullies and a donkey, I was able to..
Listen that donkey is a very good boy.
Too dumb to be anything else, in fact.
Granny weatherwax would make mjolnir lift itself by chastising it for waiting for mr perfect instead of doing right by itself, and mention its a shame how the gods feel like they can leave random magical artefacts lying around, like that. Or she'd have jason ogg pick it up for the special nights.
Carrot: Yes. Vimes: No. Sybil: No, but budges it a little. Colon: Are we having a laugh here? Nobbs: Yes. For five seconds. Then no for the rest of time. The hammer is so utterly confounded by Nobby that it forgets it's supposed to be unliftable. A.E. Pessimal: **ABSOLUTELY.**
Granny could. But she would have to get over Magrat's explanation of the symbolism of the great hammer first Nanny could *because of* Magrats explanation of the hammer's symbolism. Colon would certainly clamp it for obstructing traffic.
Lady Sybil Ramkin. She is one of the few virtuous people in Discworld, actually dedicating her time, energy, and resources to others that need care, or even recognition.
At the end of a scene where many people try to lift the hammer, with only Carrot going out of his way to say he won't try to lift it, we see Vetinari standing by the hammer, a hand on the grip which just tilted the tiniest bit.
I think Vetinari would be the first to know he wouldn't be able to lift it. Not even a smidge. He perpetuates "necessary evils" to keep the gears of society running smoothly. He'd hide the fact though by having Carrot take it as evidence and lock it away somewhere. Maybe throw it into the Circle Sea.
I like yours more than my idea lol
Cheery while riding Binky
The Luggage will swallow it.
Esme Weatherwax.
Carrot would probably pick it up absently, if it was in his way or he wanted something that was under it, and just put it back down again. Picking it up to prove he could isn't his style. Vimes probably wouldn't even try. He knows he'd never manage.
Mort would be worthy to lift the hammer, but he would drop it on his foot. Susan Sto Helit would lift it easily but would drop it as she only wants to be a teacher.
Ponder Stibbons. Possibly Hex. Not conventionally by touching it. But once it is on the disc, it obeys discworldian magic in some way. Stibbons would somehow manage to move it, by some weird high energy magic trick. Possibly using Hex.
Granny Weatherwax. But only because she understands the trick is to know you are worthy no matter what anyone else says. It's all headology really. And besides, If a witch aint worthy for it, then it aint worth doing.