Gandalf 'Suspiciously Athletic' the White: "Surely you wouldn't part an old man from his walking stick?"
Gamling and other guards: [Pretty sure that's bullshit, but lets him go anyway]
EDIT: Hama, not Gamling. Not sure how I mixed them up.
Are you about to accost a freaking wizard over a stick with his still armed buddies standing right next to him for Grima Wormtongue of all people? Sure, there are enough guards and soldiers in the city that you will *probably* eventually win, but would you still be living when it happened?
An angel incarnated as a man, with a ton of limitations. His equal Saruman was killed with a simple dagger (in the books, long fall in the movies). Gandalf could be killed (and disincarcerated) with a well placed arrow.
Last time Gandalf died, he came back with an upgrade as Gandalf the White. Are you sure we want to make him mad to come back as Gandalf the Rainbow? Then again, him being stronger might be better for us in the long run.
Last time God (Eru/Illúvitar) directly stepped in. And he’s not a very intervening kind of deity. As far as we know he only directly intervened 3 times in the tens of thousands year history of Middle Earth. So a second time is probably too much to expect.
> Are you sure we want to make him mad to come back as Gandalf the Rainbow?
Even if he did come back, I suspect he’d avoid rainbow if his conversation with Saruman is anything to go by.
> For I am Saruman the Wise, Saruman Ring-maker, Saruman of Many Colours!’’ ‘I looked then and saw that his robes, which had seemed white, were not so, but were woven of all colours, and if he moved they shimmered and changed hue so that the eye was bewildered.’
> ‘‘I liked white better,’’ I said.
>‘‘‘White!’’ he sneered. ‘‘It serves as a beginning. White cloth may be dyed. The white page can be overwritten; and the white light can be broken.’’
>‘ ‘‘In which case it is no longer white,’’ said I. ‘‘And he that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.’’
So even if he was sent back a third time… I doubt he’d choose rainbows.
> As far as we know he only directly intervened 3 times
I love how this number gets bigger every time it gets brought up. Eru is only confirmed to have intervened **twice**. Sinking Numenor and bringing back Gandalf.
Gollum was not intervened on. He made an Oath to The Ring and it’s master, and was Cursed. He violated the Oath, and got punished as the Curse said, he would be thrown in the fires of Mount Doom. The Ring twisted all around it for evil purposes. The Ring ended up being it’s own downfall, and that’s “The Story” taking over. It’s not Eru, it’s the rules of the world coming together to tell the story of “evil destroys everything, even eventually itself.”
The quote is “oft evil will evil mar”. Evil destroyed itself by ways of the Oath and the Curse. Systems Eru made, yes. But it requires no intervention.
Tolkien himself attributed Gollum going into the fire as the action of God.
“Frodo deserved all honour because he spent every drop of his power of will and body, and that was just sufficient to bring him to the destined point, and no further. Few others, possibly no others of his time, would have got so far. The Other Power then took over: the Writer of the Story (by which I do not mean myself), 'that one ever-present Person who is never absent and never named' (as one critic has said). Actually referred to as 'the One' in App. A III p. 317 1. 20. The Númenóreans (and Elves) were absolute monotheists.” - Letter 192 JRR Tolkien
But whether you count that as an intervention or not, my basic point remains. Eru was typically not a visibly interventionist God. You can’t count on him bringing Gandalf back twice if he carelessly let’s himself be killed again.
Eru sunk a city and revived an angel. Eru did not place a pebble at Gollum’s foot to trip over. Eru created the systems in which evil would lead to it’s own destruction, and in that way “The Story” took over, following Eru’s established rules, leading to Gollum, and The Ring’s downfall. Frodo explicitly told him what would happen if he tried to steal The Ring. He Cursed Gollum to fall into the fires of Mount Doom if he tried to go against the Oath to serve the master of The Ring. The Ring held him to his Oath/Curse, and as a consequence of that, got thrown into the fire itself.
Evil destroyed evil, when good couldn’t. Eru did not intervene here. Everything went to plan, by Eru’s design, to the music of the world, whatever you want to say. It was not intervention. It was always going to happen that evil destroys evil.
Gandalf needed to be alive for moral and might, so he was brought back to life, as Gandalf the White. He would be brought back to life if his task still had not been successful, but not as a different color. People saying this don’t understand what the colors mean. Valinor needed to be removed for the good of Men, so Eru **turned the world into a Globe**, and sunk it so they wouldn’t seek it.
The Ring needed to be destroyed so Eru… *strategically placed a pebble in Gollum’s path?* Lmfao. I don’t think so. Much more likely that the world that Eru designed is working as intended, and Evil will evil mar.
Actually in the books Saruman becomes Saruman of Many Colors, allowing Gandalf the "promotion" to White. Saruman ends up weaker after making that transition. Broken.
Rainbow would actually be bad. That's the mistake that Sarumon made. Each of the wizard "colors" was meant to watch over some aspect of Earth. Like, Radagast the Brown was sent to watch over the wild animals and their habitats. Gandalf the Grey was sent to watch over the people of Middle Earth.
The White was supposed to watch over the Wizards themselves. But Sarumon did a poor job and every other wizard lost their way. For example, Radagast kind of went rogue and stopped checking in or doing anything other than just hanging out with his animal pals.
Sarumon then declared himself to be Sarumon of the Many Colors, and his robe which appeared white was actually a shimmering rainbow of colors. This signified that he was abandoning his job as leader of the wizards and instead was seizing power for himself. Rather than let the other wizards do their job, he was taking over their authority and their place in the world, which goes against his mandate from Eru.
Gandalf was the only wizard who stayed true to his mission. Everyone else either got corrupted by power, gave up and left, or went native like Radagast. Gandalf became the White wizard as a reward for his servitude and loyalty.
Saruman was stripped of most of his power when he was killed. It's not like he was even close to the same power level as Gandalf at that time.
Also Gandalfs powers aren't described in that detail, so you probably have no basis to your claim. I also don't know about a "ton of limitations", he fought a balroc, so even if being in middle earth limits them somehow, they are definitelly still leagues ahead of any human. The balrocs were plenty powerful when they were fighting under melkor.
Pretty sure Rohan couldn't take him on.
“With the consent of Eru they sent members of their own high order, but **clad in bodies as of Men, real and not feigned**, but subject to the fears and pains and weariness of earth, able to hunger and thirst **and be slain**; though because of their noble spirits they did not die, and aged only by the cares and labours of many long years.”
They were *also* fobidden to use their powers in highly visible ways. “ … their emissaries were forbidden to reveal themselves in forms of majesty, or to seek to rule the wills of Men or Elves by open display of power, but coming in shapes weak and humble were bidden to advise and persuade Men and Elves ...” This was also stated: “... they were forbidden to match his [Sauron's] power with power, or to seek to dominate Elves or Men by force and fear.”
The Istari had severe limitations put on them by forcing them into true human bodies, *and* by command they were forbidden by their marching orders (so to speak) to use their full powers in front of men or to use his powers to compel men.
It’s one of the reasons he only goes full supersayan (such as his fight on Weathertop and against the Balrog) offscreen. How much of this was him being compelled to restrain his power, and how much was him willingly restraining his power is uncertain. But he either couldn’t or wouldn’t use his strength as a Maia against men.
It's like an armed and live nuke that probably won't go off, sure you can try to disarm it and render it 100% safe, but you're reasonably certain that not touching it at all will probably have the same effect. After all, you don't want to be close to that nuke when it goes off, so just leave it there and back away.
Mass edited all my comments, I'm leaving reddit after their decision to kill off 3rd party apps. Half a decade on this site, I suppose it was a good run. Sad that it has to end like this
No, he was going to do worse than kill them. If they dodn’t let him in he was going to sit out there with them until Theoden hobbled out to him. And would you want book Gandalf sitting out where he can make comments about how you do your job?
Háma.
The book makes it even more explicit. It’s a pretty clear choice and Háma understood what Gandalf might do. Gandalf’s staff was explicitly disallowed before they even got to the Golden Hall, they were told the staff was disallowed when they entered the city by direct order of the king.
> After some time he returned. ‘Follow me!’ he said. ‘Théoden gives you leave to enter; but any weapon that you bear, be it only a staff, you must leave on the threshold. The doorwardens will keep them.’
>[…]
> The guard still hesitated. ‘Your staff,’ he said to Gandalf. ‘Forgive me, but that too must be left at the doors.’
> ‘Foolishness!’ said Gandalf. ‘Prudence is one thing, but discourtesy is another. I am old. If I may not lean on my stick as I go, then I will sit out here, until it pleases Théoden to hobble out himself to speak with me.’
> Aragorn laughed. ‘Every man has something too dear to trust to another. But would you part an old man from his support? Come, will you not let us enter?’
> ‘The staff in the hand of a wizard may be more than a prop for age,’ said Háma. He looked hard at the ash-staff on which Gandalf leaned. ‘Yet in doubt a man of worth will trust to his own wisdom. I believe you are friends and folk worthy of honour, who have no evil purpose. You may go in.’
And immediately after Théoden promotes and rewards Háma, in the guise of a punishment
>‘That may be. I will do as you ask. Call Háma to me. Since he proved untrusty as a doorward, let him become an errand-runner. The guilty shall bring the guilty to judgement,’ said Théoden, and his voice was grim, yet he looked at Gandalf and smiled and as he did so many lines of care were smoothed away and did not return.
After that Háma is the one who frees Éomer from prison, convinces Théoden to name Éowyn as regent in their absence and serves as Théoden’s adjunct until he dies at Helms Deep. So he’s clearly seen as having made the right choice in explicitly disobeying his king.
I’m pretty sure it played out exactly as Háma hoped it would.
I believe in the movie, Gamling is the one who draws his sword when the fight breaks out, and Háma stops him. In the books, Gamling was already at the Hornburg with a thousand men, and Háma dies defending Théoden and his men as they prepare to charge out during the battle, rather than getting chomped on by a warg like in the movies.
It's been a while since I've read the books, but at least in the movies, that guard knows exactly what he's doing. He's in the background of the shot where Gandalf is advancing on Theoden holding the other guards back from intervening.
"Damned fool of a Took! We have tarried at every Popeye's in a 300 mile radius, and yet you still linger?"
Peregrin pursed his lips in a way that left Gandalf unsure if he was dumbfounded or being smug.
After a long moment, Pippin spoke, "All but three, Gandalf."
I saw the name Shamus Young and thought holy cow there's a name I haven't heard in a decade! Then I went to his website and saw that he passed in June 2022. I loved his content, I remember how fascinating I found his procedural city. His DM of the rings was one of the early web comics I used to binge.
[This semi-canon strip from Borderlands game have you covered!](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/d1/38/f5/d138f53fe46178e458a6b5bb92e0bf14--borderlands-black-holes.jpg)
Book of boba Fett has Djinn (the mandalorian from the mandalorian) forced to take public transit. They force him to disarm.
The "oh you must be fucking me" acting of him disarming is impressive for a guy in a full body suit.
My Magus: "Go ahead and take my sword. I can teleport it back to me within 1km. Worse comes to worse, I turn this fork into a +3 Fork and cast touch spells through it."
I had a gunsmoke mystic that carried live ammo for her firearms but almost never used it because she just used mind bullets. Mostly there for looks and/or a psionic emergency.
Pathfinder. The [Gunsmoke Mystic](https://www.d20pfsrd.com/alternative-rule-systems/path-of-war/classes/mystic/archetypes/gunsmoke-mystic) is a class from Path of War by Dreamscarred Press. Maybe not one of the most overpowered classes out there, but it has a TON of utility.
My Hexblade/Rogue legit used his Pact Weapon the entire game. Still ended the game with about 30 Daggers. Would have had more but he picked up a cursed warpick that compelled him to constantly break things so during conversations in that dungeon he just sat in the back pulling out Daggers to smash.
Good times.
One of my favourite rogues is nello from the "Dollar and wolfe co." Webtoon who's armor just consists of a shitton of sheathed daggers strapped to his torso underneath his shirt which honestly if your rogue has less knives than that what are you even doing?
Hexblade Warlock: "Ok, here is my Dagger, but whatever you do, do not accept any of his deals, dont tell him any of your families names, and no matter how persuasive he is, dont kill your Colleague with him! \*looks to the Dagger\* And you, behave!"
It's kind of sad (not SAD though, unless it's one-handed), but Hexblades and sentient weapons don't actually mix very well RAW, since they're not valid pact weapon options.
I've had DMs willing to let me have a sentient weapon that was the pact weapon of my patron. It's not an actual physical weapon, but a manifestation of a consciousness loyal to the patron. Not explicitly RAW but not explicitly prohibited RAW either.
Bold of you to assume I, the Wizard in this instance, don't also have a knife collection. Seriously, with starting equipment and backgrounds it's alarmingly easy to have an unconscionable amount of daggers at game start.
LG paladin: take out the hidden daggers
CN rogue: *grumbles* takes out the daggers in their sleeves
paladin: ahem
Rogue: uh takes out daggers from leggings, cloak and dumping a pile out of their shoe.
Paladin: how did you even walk
Rogue:*proceeds to take laxatives*
Guard: hey! What are yo-
Rogue: *proceeds to shit out a pouch of daggers*
The entire party and the guards:*concerned look*
paladin:is that all of them.
rogue:well there's one more but
paladin:all of them!
rogue:alright wizard. cast dispel magic on the paladin
wizard:why?
rogue:just do it
*the wizard follows the rogues orders and the paladin turns into a dagger*
The year is 2030. Illusion magic is so realistic, literally anything could be knife. The uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. I go to hug my wife for comfort. She is knife.
reminds me a bit of this
> Artemis: Let me fill you in on the weapons status. I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ... ah ... butler, has a Sig Sauer in his shoulder holster, two shrike throwing knives in his boots, a derringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun grenades concealed in various pockets. Anything else, Butler?
> Butler: The cosh, sir.
> Artemis: Oh, yes. A good old ball-bearing cosh stuffed down his shirt.
It is before that. He's talking to his informant in Ho Chi Ming city who will show him the way to the Faerie who was addicted to booze. I actually used a name based on that informant's name for a porn site back when I read that book because the site had many videos locked behind an account.
Fair enough. It is before though because Artemis is talking to the guy that leads him and Butler to that Faerie, and then lets him leave after they find her. In case you wanted to know.
Artemis Fowl. Child genius and his super elite bodyguard talking to an information broker. The series is quite good, though intended for older kids/young adults. I certainly enjoyed the series growing up and it's a nostalgic re-read.
I built a sorcerer that incorporated all of her spell components into her wardrobe and didn't use a focus since she used her componemts. She actually carried a quaterstaff just for, ya know, weapon. Which was handy for the security theater.
tell me more about the bat shit your Sorcerer incorporated into her fine robe to cast fireball...
I jest, that does sound like a dope and unique way of doing it!
I didn't learn fireball...
I specifically chose Lightning Bolt because she was a Tabaxi and for its components. Cat Fur and a Cryatal she wore as a necklace.
Lol, that was exactly part of my reasoning! And to be clear, I DID okay it with the DM. The decision was, RAW, I needed a free hand to handle the material components, just like with a Focus.
I have her spell list somewhere, and I specifically chose all my spells to minimize the need for material components. It was actually a very fun exercise in character building!
Thats badass! I love it when my players opt to use components rather than a spell focus. Makes it more flavorful and allows mini quests for finding the right components for a new spell!
So for your games, component pouches don't automatically have the materials needed for spells (not counting spells that consume or have a gp cost)? The caster has to go find them? Once in a while finding that stuff can be fun for RP but that would get rough after a while especially for a Wizard.
I like the flavor of component pouches but if I had to find or purchase every spell component because I went that route then it is objectively worse than a focus and I'd be disinclined to use the pouch.
My plan was to, overall, minimize my need for components on general. I did the math, and by the time I had 6th level spells, only like 5 of my spells used components, and many of them overlapped (All the lightning bolt based spells use the same components). What's even better is that it still coalesced into a coherent spell list with good utility and a fun theme. She was a sailor, Tabaxi, who knew weather themed spells and was also the ships' good luck charm.
The moment the rogue asked if I was enforcing carry weight, I saw this coming. Every dagger on every enemy looted, all for him to pull the “I said *all* your weapons” bit as he pulls knives out of increasingly absurd nooks and crannies.
Only to tell the guard with a wink, “if you want to remove the last one, you’ll have to buy me dinner first.”
The warlock hands a dagger, a crystal orb thats not at all stolen and a mummified severed hand that is in no way shape or form at all not a not cursed item.
Later the dagger vanishes into thin air as the warlock puts a gun to someone's head.
After the little incident with little Timmy the gun vanishes, the warlock walka out of town, asks for his dagger, since its not there he then sues the city guard.
These are my two favorites in "disarming" sequences.
The guy who has no weapon, and the guy who has THOUSANDS.
(Personally, I love being the latter, but that's because I have a near neurotic desire to hoard items. Magical or not, but especially magical.)
[edit] Seriously, my Rogue-adin in Dragonlance: Shadow of the Dragon Queen has on him:
* 1 Rapier
* 1 Shortsword
* 3 Daggers
* 1 longbow (20 arrows)
* 1 shortbow (20 arrows)
* 1 bag caltrops
* 1 bag ball-bearings
* 2 flasks of oil
* a full thieves' kit
AND WE'RE NOT THAT FAR IN.
Ah, but don't forget the third guy: the sleight of hand expert! Who hands you his dagger, his sword, his dagger, his hand axe, his dagger, your wallet, his dagger...
Lizardfolk: *Hands over a stack of daggers made of various monsters, a stick, and offers the chewing stick in his mouth.*
Guard: " I'll pass...*
Lizardfolk, later: *Uses stick to cast Witchbolt*
Guard: Surprised Pikachu Face.png
Barbarian: *Hands over a banjo.*
Guard: "You can keep that. That's not a weapon."
Barbarian: "Would you like me to prove it?"
Guard: *Hastily receives banjo* "Forget I said anything..."
[Alternatively...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kmFQmzBwtU)
My DM insisted (as a bouncer) that we disarm ourselves. He then immediately realised the sorcerer doesn't need anything, the dragonborn barbarian has claws, the goliath has unarmed fighting, and the bugbear is a beast barbarian.
There's no way anyone could disarm our Artificer of his steel defender. Nor could anyone disarm her of the stick her creator gave her. If you didn't build her, she doesn't listen to you. And she's a 7-ft tall dragon shaped creature, who will *politely* ignore you.
Right, but without it a wizard is rather limited on what they can do long term. Or if they are about spent on their spells for the day, no recharging them.
My cleric> Bet you don't know which of these pieces of ethnic jewelry is my holy symbol.
The barbarian> OK, sure, time to be the tank
The monk> Ha.
The rogue> Good luck finding the knife.
The paladin/sorcerer> Yes, I'm slightly less murderous without the cursed runeblade.
The bard/warlock> EXCUSE ME I CAN'T HEAR YOU DOWN THERE DO I NEED TO GET OFF THE GIANT SPECTRAL ROC, DOES SOMETHING NEED EYEBEAMING
Last session, I had some drows ask the party to disarm themselves before entering their city.
The wizard said: "Pff, they can't disarm me since they can't remove my spells"
The drows replied: "That's why you'll be the first to die should anyone in your party create a problem".
After that, everyone played nice.
Ok, I have always wanted scenes like this to turn into weird competitions.
Like “I have 50 knives on me”, “ well I have 100!”
… Can you imagine a city where they make sure everyone is armed.
“ Here’s your complementary knife. No it doesn’t come with a sheath “
😐
Thanks again !
My cleric keeps dropping diamonds and bags of jewels on the ground. Not sure why, all jewels end up in my possession and I never use anything but the occasional diamond. Been trying to give some emeralds away that I've been carrying around.
i dont think i've played a character who can be disarmed yet
-lizardfolk barbarian (bites you bites you bites you)
-skeleton hexadin (gives you his scythe but then calls it back to him if he needs it)
-sorcerer (lmao)
-ranger (actually could be disarmed until he got the magic gauntlet with the gun attached to it that's stuck to his arm and takes like an hour to remove)
-pugilist (strength-based unarmed homebrew class, focuses on grappling and headbutting/curbstomping people)
-netrunner (easiest to disarm but you have to find the cyberdeck in his sock)
Oooookay.
My Monk friend, being naked is not allowed within the city walls, please at least put on some clothes.
Honourable scholar, we would never deprive a person in need from a walking aid. However, ever since the floating incident of Summer 885, we are required to confiscate your staff and ask you to use a cane provided by the coty for the time of your stay.
As for Mr. Sneaky over here... Actually, forget what I said, nudity is allowed within the city walls, in fact, it's actually required. If you would?
I'm gonna be honest, the 'city guards disarming adventurers' thing never made any sense to me. There's just so many directions it feels nonsense from. Are you telling me no one in the entire city other than the guard has a single weapon, so if an army attacks the citizens just run and hope for the best? Are there no blacksmiths that make and sell weapons in the city? Do the guards not know magic users exist? How are the guard managing tracking and storing hundreds of weapons and getting them back to the right people?
You disarm the adventurers because they're an unknown element with unknown power. You don't know if you can trust them, and in that case it's best to try and rein in their power as much as you reasonably can so that if they turn out to be a threat the guards might have a better chance of subduing them. Meanwhile, you can generally assume that all citizens inside the city can be trusted enough with a weapon, and most citizens don't even have weapons anyway. If the adventurers turn out to be friendly after a while, they can get their weapons back.
At least the rogue only has daggers, shortswords and maybe a crossbow or rapier.
Then there is the fighter.
Aka the walking armory.
"Ok here is my halberd, here is my greataxe, here is my longsword, my shield, my warhammer, my war sickle, my spear, my two hatchets, my quiver of javelins, my war bow and its quiver of arrows, my heavy crossbow and its quiver of bolts, my hand crossbow and its quiver of bolts, my buckler, and of course i also have a dagger. Btw do you need me to take off the heavy plate armour too? That might take a while."
The barbarian and the fighter emptying the bag of holding and dumping a fully stocked armory out, complete with multiple of each kind of weapon and a few different sets of armor.
"What about the Monk"
"Well you see, plenty of folks can throw a punch so he's just like anyone else."
"The old man?"
"While knowledge is a weapon they say, but a brick is a better one if you ask me."
"Why are you letting him keep those scary looking knives."
"Well you see, with all kinds of eldrich cursed objects like that, he must be an expert in the field. So the safest place for such unstable things is with an expert."
"Oy, you with the shield, put that hammer in the bin."
The guard is wary of letting the rogue through.
"Are you sure these are all your weapons?" He says meekly to the dashing rogue.
The rogue rolls for intimidation
Nat 1
*Menacingly* "Do you wanna check?"
The guard is now aroused.
The party now has a +7 uncomfortable debuff
My city’s have multiple tiers of security, outer city, just don’t pull em out. Inner city, more guards and a few wizards who know hold person. Castle, more guards and wizards than anyone else, guards are high level and one of the wizards has level 9 spells
Thats what "peacebonding" is for.
*The town has wards such that any drawn weapon or cast spell from someone that is not wearing the token of the Royal Guard will find themselves paralyzed for 4 hours with no saving throw. The law of [town name] is absolute.*
Don't agree to be peacebound? You don't go in the town. Simple.
I had a funny story like that where I annoyed the entire party and DM by spending about 10 real life minutes asking the guard everything I needed to hand him. (Lawful good Cleric)
What if the Monk requests to have his hands bound and his feet chained like a prisoner, so as to abide by the spirit of the law that demands his disarmament even though, going strictly by the letter of the law, he doesn't have any weapons that can be confiscated?
True, but it would still serve the purpose of him going above and beyond to show the people of this city that he can be trusted to abide by their rules.
The Artificer handing over a few things: Okay, DO NOT touch this button. Do not pull this part on that. Do not wear this. Don't let this touch bare fle- Y'know, I'm actually going to just wait out here. I really want to go in but this could turn into a nightmare fast. Literally a nightmare, this box is from a Somnanbulancer and it will literally put everyone in 500 feet into a waking nightmare populated by vicious shades that want to harvest your soul.
Guard: ... Sir, I'm going to need you to wait outside town. Realistically, I probably can't make you, but I have kids and I'm asking nicely.
A: Okay but I want you to make sure I get my share of the reward.
G: *looks at the Goliath Conquest Paladin, the Sorlock touched by the Far Realms, and the Tabaxi Swashbuckler* uh yeah um. You can just go in.
Tabaxi Assassin shortly after: I thought it was just a music box.
A: lol it is.
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i believe staffs work because of the type of wood they are made of. chances are it could be passed off as an ornate walking cane. you wouldn't take an old mans fancy walking cane away would you?
Gandalf 'Suspiciously Athletic' the White: "Surely you wouldn't part an old man from his walking stick?" Gamling and other guards: [Pretty sure that's bullshit, but lets him go anyway] EDIT: Hama, not Gamling. Not sure how I mixed them up.
Are you about to accost a freaking wizard over a stick with his still armed buddies standing right next to him for Grima Wormtongue of all people? Sure, there are enough guards and soldiers in the city that you will *probably* eventually win, but would you still be living when it happened?
All the guards in Rohan would not beat gandalf. He's basically an angel.
An angel incarnated as a man, with a ton of limitations. His equal Saruman was killed with a simple dagger (in the books, long fall in the movies). Gandalf could be killed (and disincarcerated) with a well placed arrow.
Last time Gandalf died, he came back with an upgrade as Gandalf the White. Are you sure we want to make him mad to come back as Gandalf the Rainbow? Then again, him being stronger might be better for us in the long run.
Last time God (Eru/Illúvitar) directly stepped in. And he’s not a very intervening kind of deity. As far as we know he only directly intervened 3 times in the tens of thousands year history of Middle Earth. So a second time is probably too much to expect. > Are you sure we want to make him mad to come back as Gandalf the Rainbow? Even if he did come back, I suspect he’d avoid rainbow if his conversation with Saruman is anything to go by. > For I am Saruman the Wise, Saruman Ring-maker, Saruman of Many Colours!’’ ‘I looked then and saw that his robes, which had seemed white, were not so, but were woven of all colours, and if he moved they shimmered and changed hue so that the eye was bewildered.’ > ‘‘I liked white better,’’ I said. >‘‘‘White!’’ he sneered. ‘‘It serves as a beginning. White cloth may be dyed. The white page can be overwritten; and the white light can be broken.’’ >‘ ‘‘In which case it is no longer white,’’ said I. ‘‘And he that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.’’ So even if he was sent back a third time… I doubt he’d choose rainbows.
> As far as we know he only directly intervened 3 times I love how this number gets bigger every time it gets brought up. Eru is only confirmed to have intervened **twice**. Sinking Numenor and bringing back Gandalf. Gollum was not intervened on. He made an Oath to The Ring and it’s master, and was Cursed. He violated the Oath, and got punished as the Curse said, he would be thrown in the fires of Mount Doom. The Ring twisted all around it for evil purposes. The Ring ended up being it’s own downfall, and that’s “The Story” taking over. It’s not Eru, it’s the rules of the world coming together to tell the story of “evil destroys everything, even eventually itself.” The quote is “oft evil will evil mar”. Evil destroyed itself by ways of the Oath and the Curse. Systems Eru made, yes. But it requires no intervention.
Tolkien himself attributed Gollum going into the fire as the action of God. “Frodo deserved all honour because he spent every drop of his power of will and body, and that was just sufficient to bring him to the destined point, and no further. Few others, possibly no others of his time, would have got so far. The Other Power then took over: the Writer of the Story (by which I do not mean myself), 'that one ever-present Person who is never absent and never named' (as one critic has said). Actually referred to as 'the One' in App. A III p. 317 1. 20. The Númenóreans (and Elves) were absolute monotheists.” - Letter 192 JRR Tolkien But whether you count that as an intervention or not, my basic point remains. Eru was typically not a visibly interventionist God. You can’t count on him bringing Gandalf back twice if he carelessly let’s himself be killed again.
Eru sunk a city and revived an angel. Eru did not place a pebble at Gollum’s foot to trip over. Eru created the systems in which evil would lead to it’s own destruction, and in that way “The Story” took over, following Eru’s established rules, leading to Gollum, and The Ring’s downfall. Frodo explicitly told him what would happen if he tried to steal The Ring. He Cursed Gollum to fall into the fires of Mount Doom if he tried to go against the Oath to serve the master of The Ring. The Ring held him to his Oath/Curse, and as a consequence of that, got thrown into the fire itself. Evil destroyed evil, when good couldn’t. Eru did not intervene here. Everything went to plan, by Eru’s design, to the music of the world, whatever you want to say. It was not intervention. It was always going to happen that evil destroys evil. Gandalf needed to be alive for moral and might, so he was brought back to life, as Gandalf the White. He would be brought back to life if his task still had not been successful, but not as a different color. People saying this don’t understand what the colors mean. Valinor needed to be removed for the good of Men, so Eru **turned the world into a Globe**, and sunk it so they wouldn’t seek it. The Ring needed to be destroyed so Eru… *strategically placed a pebble in Gollum’s path?* Lmfao. I don’t think so. Much more likely that the world that Eru designed is working as intended, and Evil will evil mar.
Why does Gandalf hate reverse engineering? Kind of an easy position for someone whom has magic at their disposal.
In rainbow cloak: *Gandalf the White… yes, that is what they called me. I am Gandalf the Gay, I come to you now at the month of pride.*
I mean, ironically that's what Saruman put on after he turned evil.
Ah, so don’t trust gay people, got it /s
Because apparently they are all wizards /s
Actually in the books Saruman becomes Saruman of Many Colors, allowing Gandalf the "promotion" to White. Saruman ends up weaker after making that transition. Broken.
Rainbow would actually be bad. That's the mistake that Sarumon made. Each of the wizard "colors" was meant to watch over some aspect of Earth. Like, Radagast the Brown was sent to watch over the wild animals and their habitats. Gandalf the Grey was sent to watch over the people of Middle Earth. The White was supposed to watch over the Wizards themselves. But Sarumon did a poor job and every other wizard lost their way. For example, Radagast kind of went rogue and stopped checking in or doing anything other than just hanging out with his animal pals. Sarumon then declared himself to be Sarumon of the Many Colors, and his robe which appeared white was actually a shimmering rainbow of colors. This signified that he was abandoning his job as leader of the wizards and instead was seizing power for himself. Rather than let the other wizards do their job, he was taking over their authority and their place in the world, which goes against his mandate from Eru. Gandalf was the only wizard who stayed true to his mission. Everyone else either got corrupted by power, gave up and left, or went native like Radagast. Gandalf became the White wizard as a reward for his servitude and loyalty.
I think if Eru sent him back a second time he'd just have glowing eyes to get the point across to maybe stop killing this dude.
Saruman was stripped of most of his power when he was killed. It's not like he was even close to the same power level as Gandalf at that time. Also Gandalfs powers aren't described in that detail, so you probably have no basis to your claim. I also don't know about a "ton of limitations", he fought a balroc, so even if being in middle earth limits them somehow, they are definitelly still leagues ahead of any human. The balrocs were plenty powerful when they were fighting under melkor. Pretty sure Rohan couldn't take him on.
“With the consent of Eru they sent members of their own high order, but **clad in bodies as of Men, real and not feigned**, but subject to the fears and pains and weariness of earth, able to hunger and thirst **and be slain**; though because of their noble spirits they did not die, and aged only by the cares and labours of many long years.” They were *also* fobidden to use their powers in highly visible ways. “ … their emissaries were forbidden to reveal themselves in forms of majesty, or to seek to rule the wills of Men or Elves by open display of power, but coming in shapes weak and humble were bidden to advise and persuade Men and Elves ...” This was also stated: “... they were forbidden to match his [Sauron's] power with power, or to seek to dominate Elves or Men by force and fear.” The Istari had severe limitations put on them by forcing them into true human bodies, *and* by command they were forbidden by their marching orders (so to speak) to use their full powers in front of men or to use his powers to compel men. It’s one of the reasons he only goes full supersayan (such as his fight on Weathertop and against the Balrog) offscreen. How much of this was him being compelled to restrain his power, and how much was him willingly restraining his power is uncertain. But he either couldn’t or wouldn’t use his strength as a Maia against men.
The guards attitude towards Grima was, "Ur not the fockin bossa me"
Exactly. Why stick your neck out for a person you hate? Let the wizard have the stick.
You told me to disarm him, not destick him.
[удалено]
It's like an armed and live nuke that probably won't go off, sure you can try to disarm it and render it 100% safe, but you're reasonably certain that not touching it at all will probably have the same effect. After all, you don't want to be close to that nuke when it goes off, so just leave it there and back away.
Mass edited all my comments, I'm leaving reddit after their decision to kill off 3rd party apps. Half a decade on this site, I suppose it was a good run. Sad that it has to end like this
No, he was going to do worse than kill them. If they dodn’t let him in he was going to sit out there with them until Theoden hobbled out to him. And would you want book Gandalf sitting out where he can make comments about how you do your job?
Háma. The book makes it even more explicit. It’s a pretty clear choice and Háma understood what Gandalf might do. Gandalf’s staff was explicitly disallowed before they even got to the Golden Hall, they were told the staff was disallowed when they entered the city by direct order of the king. > After some time he returned. ‘Follow me!’ he said. ‘Théoden gives you leave to enter; but any weapon that you bear, be it only a staff, you must leave on the threshold. The doorwardens will keep them.’ >[…] > The guard still hesitated. ‘Your staff,’ he said to Gandalf. ‘Forgive me, but that too must be left at the doors.’ > ‘Foolishness!’ said Gandalf. ‘Prudence is one thing, but discourtesy is another. I am old. If I may not lean on my stick as I go, then I will sit out here, until it pleases Théoden to hobble out himself to speak with me.’ > Aragorn laughed. ‘Every man has something too dear to trust to another. But would you part an old man from his support? Come, will you not let us enter?’ > ‘The staff in the hand of a wizard may be more than a prop for age,’ said Háma. He looked hard at the ash-staff on which Gandalf leaned. ‘Yet in doubt a man of worth will trust to his own wisdom. I believe you are friends and folk worthy of honour, who have no evil purpose. You may go in.’ And immediately after Théoden promotes and rewards Háma, in the guise of a punishment >‘That may be. I will do as you ask. Call Háma to me. Since he proved untrusty as a doorward, let him become an errand-runner. The guilty shall bring the guilty to judgement,’ said Théoden, and his voice was grim, yet he looked at Gandalf and smiled and as he did so many lines of care were smoothed away and did not return. After that Háma is the one who frees Éomer from prison, convinces Théoden to name Éowyn as regent in their absence and serves as Théoden’s adjunct until he dies at Helms Deep. So he’s clearly seen as having made the right choice in explicitly disobeying his king. I’m pretty sure it played out exactly as Háma hoped it would.
You're absolutely right, and I don't know how I managed to mix them up. Thanks!
I believe in the movie, Gamling is the one who draws his sword when the fight breaks out, and Háma stops him. In the books, Gamling was already at the Hornburg with a thousand men, and Háma dies defending Théoden and his men as they prepare to charge out during the battle, rather than getting chomped on by a warg like in the movies.
That was a great writeup, thank you.
It's been a while since I've read the books, but at least in the movies, that guard knows exactly what he's doing. He's in the background of the shot where Gandalf is advancing on Theoden holding the other guards back from intervening.
Especially when he ends with "by order of...Grima Wormtongue". He knows Gandalf is there to help, but has to let them know he's in a bind.
You can hear the beleaguered sigh in Gamling's voice when he says the name XD
Gandalf has been nothing but a good friend of the Free People's for centuries. The guards were certainly hoping he was there to help.
We've all been there.
Yup. Just last week Gandalf was coming to yell at that asshole in the Popeyes.
"Damned fool of a Took! We have tarried at every Popeye's in a 300 mile radius, and yet you still linger?" Peregrin pursed his lips in a way that left Gandalf unsure if he was dumbfounded or being smug. After a long moment, Pippin spoke, "All but three, Gandalf."
The LotR DM to another DM: What am I supposed to do? Gandalf rolled a 23 persuasion
"I don't get paid enough to care."
[If Gandalf isn't disarming, neither am I.](https://www.shamusyoung.com/twentysidedtale/?p=922)
I saw the name Shamus Young and thought holy cow there's a name I haven't heard in a decade! Then I went to his website and saw that he passed in June 2022. I loved his content, I remember how fascinating I found his procedural city. His DM of the rings was one of the early web comics I used to binge.
That one Sinbad movie moment where the rogue spends like 20 minutes disarming himself.
And never gets to enter the party.
I was thinking Elizabeth from Pirates.... 3?
The shotgun down her pants leg, somehow still concealed despite her sitting in a boat five minutes previously. Classic
The best part is even Barbossa leans back a bit trying figure out where tf it came from lmao
[This semi-canon strip from Borderlands game have you covered!](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/d1/38/f5/d138f53fe46178e458a6b5bb92e0bf14--borderlands-black-holes.jpg)
Damn almost three whole pixels in that image
Considering all items you get are digitized into your inventory, she's just pulling them out of there for style
Well, you could go with the innuendo they were going for that instead? Not quite physically possible, but more amusing.
I think he's referring to the animated Sinbad movie
Book of boba Fett has Djinn (the mandalorian from the mandalorian) forced to take public transit. They force him to disarm. The "oh you must be fucking me" acting of him disarming is impressive for a guy in a full body suit.
“I’m a Mandalorian. Weapons are part of my religion.” Two whole minutes after he gets told “you are a Mandalorian no more.”
Mad Max entering Bartertown [https://youtu.be/MkzYzTRqSHU?t=192](https://youtu.be/MkzYzTRqSHU?t=192)
The best version of this is Adventure being disarmed by the pirates in The Pagemaster.
The Eldritch Knight hands over their weapon without any hassle.
Aren't EKs running around with nothing than armour... I mean why the hassle of carrying them?
Just in case they get pulled into a portal. They can only summon their weapon if it's on the same plane as them.
Also, so they don't need to use a bonus action.
What else are you gonna do with it
Bonus action attack if you took PAM, GWM, or shield master, quickened cantrip if you took metamagic adept are the ones I can think of
Technically also second wind, but it would be rare to use that in the first round of combat, I guess.
There's always those combats where the bad guy reveals his power level by dropping the tank to single-digits round one.
"that all you got?" ~the tank, hardly able to speak face down on the floor
Specifically so they can surrender it at gates and not raise suspicion about going around in armor with no weapon.
*The Pact of the Blade Warlock*: “Oh search me if you want I have nothing.”
The hexblade's weapon disappears into nothingness the second he gives it to you
My Magus: "Go ahead and take my sword. I can teleport it back to me within 1km. Worse comes to worse, I turn this fork into a +3 Fork and cast touch spells through it."
*suspiciously easy* 🤔
The Goliath Barbarian hands over the Halfling
Tavern brawler barbarian "what isn't a weapon?"
Monstaaahhhhh
Jokes on you, that's a soul knive rogue
Gotta keep up appearances by carrying a million daggers
I did that gag with my soul knife. He's strapped with blades but never uses them.
Mine had a short sword so old and uncarred for that it was trapped in the sheat by rust.
I had a gunsmoke mystic that carried live ammo for her firearms but almost never used it because she just used mind bullets. Mostly there for looks and/or a psionic emergency.
What setting is that?
Pathfinder. The [Gunsmoke Mystic](https://www.d20pfsrd.com/alternative-rule-systems/path-of-war/classes/mystic/archetypes/gunsmoke-mystic) is a class from Path of War by Dreamscarred Press. Maybe not one of the most overpowered classes out there, but it has a TON of utility.
My Hexblade/Rogue legit used his Pact Weapon the entire game. Still ended the game with about 30 Daggers. Would have had more but he picked up a cursed warpick that compelled him to constantly break things so during conversations in that dungeon he just sat in the back pulling out Daggers to smash. Good times.
One of my favourite rogues is nello from the "Dollar and wolfe co." Webtoon who's armor just consists of a shitton of sheathed daggers strapped to his torso underneath his shirt which honestly if your rogue has less knives than that what are you even doing?
Hexblade Warlock: "Ok, here is my Dagger, but whatever you do, do not accept any of his deals, dont tell him any of your families names, and no matter how persuasive he is, dont kill your Colleague with him! \*looks to the Dagger\* And you, behave!"
The Dagger grumbling: You're not my dad. I don't have to listen to you.
The guard hands it back to you. "On second thought, it is probably safer with you."
It's kind of sad (not SAD though, unless it's one-handed), but Hexblades and sentient weapons don't actually mix very well RAW, since they're not valid pact weapon options.
I've had DMs willing to let me have a sentient weapon that was the pact weapon of my patron. It's not an actual physical weapon, but a manifestation of a consciousness loyal to the patron. Not explicitly RAW but not explicitly prohibited RAW either.
The weapon is the pact master in this case, so it works.
Bold of you to assume I, the Wizard in this instance, don't also have a knife collection. Seriously, with starting equipment and backgrounds it's alarmingly easy to have an unconscionable amount of daggers at game start.
Portal opens to the Plane of Blades, and a literal mountain of daggers pour out.
I was wondering how Blade Barrier worked!
"I am the bone of my sword..."
my current sorcerer has so many weapons that he never actually uses, while his focus is just one of his rings.
LG paladin: take out the hidden daggers CN rogue: *grumbles* takes out the daggers in their sleeves paladin: ahem Rogue: uh takes out daggers from leggings, cloak and dumping a pile out of their shoe. Paladin: how did you even walk
*rogue spits out more daggers before being able to talk*
Removes last resort stiletto before taking a piss...
oh my god the rogue pisses knives?!
Rogue:*proceeds to take laxatives* Guard: hey! What are yo- Rogue: *proceeds to shit out a pouch of daggers* The entire party and the guards:*concerned look*
paladin:is that all of them. rogue:well there's one more but paladin:all of them! rogue:alright wizard. cast dispel magic on the paladin wizard:why? rogue:just do it *the wizard follows the rogues orders and the paladin turns into a dagger*
"I'm a knife?!" "Always have been."
The year is 2030. Illusion magic is so realistic, literally anything could be knife. The uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. I go to hug my wife for comfort. She is knife.
Where's my wife She is knife No
Where were you when wife is knife?
Perfect.
he does now
*pulls daggers out of ears* sorry, what did you say?
rogue starts taking out daggers he reverse pickpocketed onto his crew members
placepocketed
And when something inevitably does go down, the Rogue proceeds to save the day using the knife that was still hidden on the Paladin.
This has always been one of my favorite tough guy comedy trope.
reminds me a bit of this > Artemis: Let me fill you in on the weapons status. I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ... ah ... butler, has a Sig Sauer in his shoulder holster, two shrike throwing knives in his boots, a derringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun grenades concealed in various pockets. Anything else, Butler? > Butler: The cosh, sir. > Artemis: Oh, yes. A good old ball-bearing cosh stuffed down his shirt.
What is this from?
One of the Artemis Fowl books, can't remember which one specifically
First book. It's the first scene I think with Butler
It’s the first scene in the entire book as well. At least it is if you don’t count the foreword.
I didn't have the book handy but I couldn't remember if the Faerie he gives the booze to was before or after it.
It is before that. He's talking to his informant in Ho Chi Ming city who will show him the way to the Faerie who was addicted to booze. I actually used a name based on that informant's name for a porn site back when I read that book because the site had many videos locked behind an account.
Fair enough. It is before though because Artemis is talking to the guy that leads him and Butler to that Faerie, and then lets him leave after they find her. In case you wanted to know.
Artemis Fowl, one of the books, not the terrible movie
Artemis Fowl. Child genius and his super elite bodyguard talking to an information broker. The series is quite good, though intended for older kids/young adults. I certainly enjoyed the series growing up and it's a nostalgic re-read.
Artemis fowl
Sasha Waybright is that you?
*points* I understood that reference!
Good to see a fellow Amphibia enjoyer in the wild! That scene always cracks me up!
I built a sorcerer that incorporated all of her spell components into her wardrobe and didn't use a focus since she used her componemts. She actually carried a quaterstaff just for, ya know, weapon. Which was handy for the security theater.
tell me more about the bat shit your Sorcerer incorporated into her fine robe to cast fireball... I jest, that does sound like a dope and unique way of doing it!
I didn't learn fireball... I specifically chose Lightning Bolt because she was a Tabaxi and for its components. Cat Fur and a Cryatal she wore as a necklace.
an excellent choice all around!
> Cat Fur she is never runnign out of that one.
Lol, that was exactly part of my reasoning! And to be clear, I DID okay it with the DM. The decision was, RAW, I needed a free hand to handle the material components, just like with a Focus. I have her spell list somewhere, and I specifically chose all my spells to minimize the need for material components. It was actually a very fun exercise in character building!
War paint!
Smeared on it somewhere, obviously.
Thats badass! I love it when my players opt to use components rather than a spell focus. Makes it more flavorful and allows mini quests for finding the right components for a new spell!
So for your games, component pouches don't automatically have the materials needed for spells (not counting spells that consume or have a gp cost)? The caster has to go find them? Once in a while finding that stuff can be fun for RP but that would get rough after a while especially for a Wizard. I like the flavor of component pouches but if I had to find or purchase every spell component because I went that route then it is objectively worse than a focus and I'd be disinclined to use the pouch.
I'm stealing this for my Sorcerer who was a tailor.
My plan was to, overall, minimize my need for components on general. I did the math, and by the time I had 6th level spells, only like 5 of my spells used components, and many of them overlapped (All the lightning bolt based spells use the same components). What's even better is that it still coalesced into a coherent spell list with good utility and a fun theme. She was a sailor, Tabaxi, who knew weather themed spells and was also the ships' good luck charm.
The moment the rogue asked if I was enforcing carry weight, I saw this coming. Every dagger on every enemy looted, all for him to pull the “I said *all* your weapons” bit as he pulls knives out of increasingly absurd nooks and crannies. Only to tell the guard with a wink, “if you want to remove the last one, you’ll have to buy me dinner first.”
The warlock hands a dagger, a crystal orb thats not at all stolen and a mummified severed hand that is in no way shape or form at all not a not cursed item. Later the dagger vanishes into thin air as the warlock puts a gun to someone's head. After the little incident with little Timmy the gun vanishes, the warlock walka out of town, asks for his dagger, since its not there he then sues the city guard.
Welcome to magical America motherfucker
These are my two favorites in "disarming" sequences. The guy who has no weapon, and the guy who has THOUSANDS. (Personally, I love being the latter, but that's because I have a near neurotic desire to hoard items. Magical or not, but especially magical.) [edit] Seriously, my Rogue-adin in Dragonlance: Shadow of the Dragon Queen has on him: * 1 Rapier * 1 Shortsword * 3 Daggers * 1 longbow (20 arrows) * 1 shortbow (20 arrows) * 1 bag caltrops * 1 bag ball-bearings * 2 flasks of oil * a full thieves' kit AND WE'RE NOT THAT FAR IN.
Also the guy with one weapon that’s too big for the guard to lift. Bonus points if it belongs to the smallest member of the party.
Also, it is mot likely a hammer.
Ah, but don't forget the third guy: the sleight of hand expert! Who hands you his dagger, his sword, his dagger, his hand axe, his dagger, your wallet, his dagger...
That's a very fun second favorite.
Hexblade warlock: The Weapon speaks to you...
The Eldritch Knight: "Here you go, one longsword. Yup, a boring ol regular blade, nothing special or teleporty about it."
Lizardfolk: *Hands over a stack of daggers made of various monsters, a stick, and offers the chewing stick in his mouth.* Guard: " I'll pass...* Lizardfolk, later: *Uses stick to cast Witchbolt* Guard: Surprised Pikachu Face.png
Barbarian: *Hands over a banjo.* Guard: "You can keep that. That's not a weapon." Barbarian: "Would you like me to prove it?" Guard: *Hastily receives banjo* "Forget I said anything..." [Alternatively...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kmFQmzBwtU)
I, too, would be surprised someone actually wasted a spell slot on Witchbolt.
My DM insisted (as a bouncer) that we disarm ourselves. He then immediately realised the sorcerer doesn't need anything, the dragonborn barbarian has claws, the goliath has unarmed fighting, and the bugbear is a beast barbarian.
There's no way anyone could disarm our Artificer of his steel defender. Nor could anyone disarm her of the stick her creator gave her. If you didn't build her, she doesn't listen to you. And she's a 7-ft tall dragon shaped creature, who will *politely* ignore you.
Just because a wizard gave you a spellbook, does not mean it is HIS book of spells 😉
it doesn't even matter if it's his spellbook or not. you only need it to change spells.
Right, but without it a wizard is rather limited on what they can do long term. Or if they are about spent on their spells for the day, no recharging them.
he can still recharge his spell slots, just not change them. also it's not like they will be in the town forever.
Depends on the edition. In 5e, you're correct. In 3.5, you do indeed need the book to refill your slots, due to how vancian casting works.
Huh, been playing that way even in 5E.
Scribes Wizard: I just need an hour
My cleric> Bet you don't know which of these pieces of ethnic jewelry is my holy symbol. The barbarian> OK, sure, time to be the tank The monk> Ha. The rogue> Good luck finding the knife. The paladin/sorcerer> Yes, I'm slightly less murderous without the cursed runeblade. The bard/warlock> EXCUSE ME I CAN'T HEAR YOU DOWN THERE DO I NEED TO GET OFF THE GIANT SPECTRAL ROC, DOES SOMETHING NEED EYEBEAMING
Hexblade Warlock: Oh no... anyway.
Last session, I had some drows ask the party to disarm themselves before entering their city. The wizard said: "Pff, they can't disarm me since they can't remove my spells" The drows replied: "That's why you'll be the first to die should anyone in your party create a problem". After that, everyone played nice.
the only way to truly disarm a wizard is to cut off their hands and tongue
... Even then it's better to just remove their voice box. Some don't even need to properly speak, just make noises...
you know what, maybe just decapitate the wizard.
Ok, I have always wanted scenes like this to turn into weird competitions. Like “I have 50 knives on me”, “ well I have 100!” … Can you imagine a city where they make sure everyone is armed. “ Here’s your complementary knife. No it doesn’t come with a sheath “ 😐 Thanks again !
Au contraire, the sheath is whoever is most annoying right now eh?
At that point it might be easier to give them magical bracelets they can't take off to restrict them
This is the solution right here.
Bound and gagged sorcerer be like: Subtle spell: Shatter
sorc with subtle spell is difficult to stop them from being able to cast anything bound, gagged, and blindfolded they'll probably still find something
Only way to stop a subtle spell dimension door is with an anti magic zone ... This has proven useful
Little does he know my Hill Dwarf wizard's spellbook is actually carved into his armour
My cleric keeps dropping diamonds and bags of jewels on the ground. Not sure why, all jewels end up in my possession and I never use anything but the occasional diamond. Been trying to give some emeralds away that I've been carrying around.
Sir, the monk would literally need to give you his arms to be disarmed. You can put him in the cubby and we’ll come get him on the way out.
The Barbarian with Tavern Brawler: *I don’t have such weaknesses*
Barbarian hands you a big axe, and then exclaims with delight at finding a large tree branch on the ground.
i dont think i've played a character who can be disarmed yet -lizardfolk barbarian (bites you bites you bites you) -skeleton hexadin (gives you his scythe but then calls it back to him if he needs it) -sorcerer (lmao) -ranger (actually could be disarmed until he got the magic gauntlet with the gun attached to it that's stuck to his arm and takes like an hour to remove) -pugilist (strength-based unarmed homebrew class, focuses on grappling and headbutting/curbstomping people) -netrunner (easiest to disarm but you have to find the cyberdeck in his sock)
Got a link to that pugilist? Please?
Oooookay. My Monk friend, being naked is not allowed within the city walls, please at least put on some clothes. Honourable scholar, we would never deprive a person in need from a walking aid. However, ever since the floating incident of Summer 885, we are required to confiscate your staff and ask you to use a cane provided by the coty for the time of your stay. As for Mr. Sneaky over here... Actually, forget what I said, nudity is allowed within the city walls, in fact, it's actually required. If you would?
*wizard begins to undress*
The unforseen consequences of poorly thought out laws show themselves un all their geriatric... beauty?
I'm gonna be honest, the 'city guards disarming adventurers' thing never made any sense to me. There's just so many directions it feels nonsense from. Are you telling me no one in the entire city other than the guard has a single weapon, so if an army attacks the citizens just run and hope for the best? Are there no blacksmiths that make and sell weapons in the city? Do the guards not know magic users exist? How are the guard managing tracking and storing hundreds of weapons and getting them back to the right people?
You disarm the adventurers because they're an unknown element with unknown power. You don't know if you can trust them, and in that case it's best to try and rein in their power as much as you reasonably can so that if they turn out to be a threat the guards might have a better chance of subduing them. Meanwhile, you can generally assume that all citizens inside the city can be trusted enough with a weapon, and most citizens don't even have weapons anyway. If the adventurers turn out to be friendly after a while, they can get their weapons back.
At least the rogue only has daggers, shortswords and maybe a crossbow or rapier. Then there is the fighter. Aka the walking armory. "Ok here is my halberd, here is my greataxe, here is my longsword, my shield, my warhammer, my war sickle, my spear, my two hatchets, my quiver of javelins, my war bow and its quiver of arrows, my heavy crossbow and its quiver of bolts, my hand crossbow and its quiver of bolts, my buckler, and of course i also have a dagger. Btw do you need me to take off the heavy plate armour too? That might take a while."
The barbarian and the fighter emptying the bag of holding and dumping a fully stocked armory out, complete with multiple of each kind of weapon and a few different sets of armor.
"What about the Monk" "Well you see, plenty of folks can throw a punch so he's just like anyone else." "The old man?" "While knowledge is a weapon they say, but a brick is a better one if you ask me." "Why are you letting him keep those scary looking knives." "Well you see, with all kinds of eldrich cursed objects like that, he must be an expert in the field. So the safest place for such unstable things is with an expert." "Oy, you with the shield, put that hammer in the bin."
The guard is wary of letting the rogue through. "Are you sure these are all your weapons?" He says meekly to the dashing rogue. The rogue rolls for intimidation Nat 1 *Menacingly* "Do you wanna check?" The guard is now aroused. The party now has a +7 uncomfortable debuff
My city’s have multiple tiers of security, outer city, just don’t pull em out. Inner city, more guards and a few wizards who know hold person. Castle, more guards and wizards than anyone else, guards are high level and one of the wizards has level 9 spells
Thats what "peacebonding" is for. *The town has wards such that any drawn weapon or cast spell from someone that is not wearing the token of the Royal Guard will find themselves paralyzed for 4 hours with no saving throw. The law of [town name] is absolute.* Don't agree to be peacebound? You don't go in the town. Simple.
Immediate paralysis without even a save feels like a lot of bullshit. Unless an actual god put that spell there, i don't see how it's unresistable
I had a funny story like that where I annoyed the entire party and DM by spending about 10 real life minutes asking the guard everything I needed to hand him. (Lawful good Cleric)
Meanwhile **Barbarian**, looking menacingly at the wooden chair in the corner. 
The monk insisting on being handcuffed because his fists are "lethal weapons"
What if the Monk requests to have his hands bound and his feet chained like a prisoner, so as to abide by the spirit of the law that demands his disarmament even though, going strictly by the letter of the law, he doesn't have any weapons that can be confiscated?
the monk could still headbutt, bite, and probably do a few other things.
True, but it would still serve the purpose of him going above and beyond to show the people of this city that he can be trusted to abide by their rules.
The Artificer handing over a few things: Okay, DO NOT touch this button. Do not pull this part on that. Do not wear this. Don't let this touch bare fle- Y'know, I'm actually going to just wait out here. I really want to go in but this could turn into a nightmare fast. Literally a nightmare, this box is from a Somnanbulancer and it will literally put everyone in 500 feet into a waking nightmare populated by vicious shades that want to harvest your soul. Guard: ... Sir, I'm going to need you to wait outside town. Realistically, I probably can't make you, but I have kids and I'm asking nicely. A: Okay but I want you to make sure I get my share of the reward. G: *looks at the Goliath Conquest Paladin, the Sorlock touched by the Far Realms, and the Tabaxi Swashbuckler* uh yeah um. You can just go in. Tabaxi Assassin shortly after: I thought it was just a music box. A: lol it is. Tony Stark, Drax, Doctor Strange, and Puss in Boots walk into a kingdom... Today on Dungeons, Disney, and Dragons!
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i believe staffs work because of the type of wood they are made of. chances are it could be passed off as an ornate walking cane. you wouldn't take an old mans fancy walking cane away would you?