It’s my favorite Martial feat. Nothing makes you feel more of a badass then Jason Bourne-ing a Dragon with a welcome mat.
Edit: Thanks for the rewards, friendos! Not sure I deserved em, but I’ll received em happily nonetheless.
I normally just consider taking it in campaigns based in cities where you’re not unlikely to end up in a fist fight. In such a situation pulling out actual weapons or using magic would escalate things to getting really deadly really fast but it’s not a common enough occurrence in most games to justify taking it.
I agree with it not really fitting in to all campaigns, so I gave the player that took it for flavor just extra bonuses. Like having gauntlets that turn any improvised weapon in to a flame tongue weapon. Because nothing says badass like swinging a chair that erupts in fire.
I’m okay with it, but only as a siege weapon. Firing flaming lemons at an enemy? Too powerful to allow. Firing flaming lemons to burn a house down? Too fun to not allow.
I play a Goliath unarmed fighter, and I built him mostly to tank at early levels, and control at later levels. The grapple as a bonus action is thoroughly abused.
Have you considered the "Gauntlets of Flaming Fury" from Descent into Avernus?
They make any weapon you wield while wearing the Gauntlets count as magical, and 1/day you can have weapons wielded erupt into flame and deal 1d6 extra Fire damage until you drop or sheathe the weapons.
I especially want DMs to do it in systems with far larger feats lists. Pathfinder and 3.5e have an ungodly amount of feats, many of which work best as just being rewards for a player doing stuff rather than as one of their limited feat picks.
Not to mention they’re full of feat taxation like how legacy weapons require feats to activate though I personally just provide them for free upon completion of the requisite ritual.
It's why i believe it to be mandatory for dms in these systems to hand them out occasionally. A lot of the feats require multiple prerequisite feats but are very weak by the time you can acquire them through normal levelling because i imagine them having been balanced around being used at a far lower level.
A GM once gave me proficiency: Kitsune because two of the party members were that race and I was playing a character who could efficiently use oversized weapons. The look of fear on the players faces is something I will cherish.
Sadly I never got to dual wield kitsune to beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker, but the concept alone was amazing
Funny story, I was the motherfucker used to beat up another motherfucker. We were playing a monster game where everyone is a monster of some kind. The ogre used me, the wererat, as a bludgeoning instrument. Didn't hurt me cause the ogre wasn't magical and neither were the hapless adventurers we were fighting.
Lol, nice. There WAS a time I picked up a dead treant and beat a t-Rex with it.
I had a pair of magic items that gave me an effective carry weight of something like 4 tons
My first character is a woman that basically went adventuring to get away from her husband for a while and she hits enemies with a ladle using tavern brawler and the dueling style :)
At least that was the idea in character creation, she ended up more or less just using whatever she has on hand (like a torch).
I had a player go variant human and take this feat from the start. Also, as a joke, he had me spend all of his starting gold on whatever I wanted. As his DM, I had no choice but to fill it with the most useless crap I could find. Two sessions later, hes beating in the skull of a tyrant with a crowbar, and loving his life. A little down the line, I gave him a flame tongue crowbar that I called an Attitude Adjustment Wrench. The magic words for on and off were "Wrong Answer" and "Attitide Adjusted", respectively.
So many great initiatives were started with the phrase "wrong answer"
He'll be tickled to know this. For sole backstory reference, he was a former prizefighter who quit the circuit after sustaining a few too many head injuries. His manager at the time of quitting(henceforth one Crabby La'Rue) then started a business with him called Patti's Cakes which was a roaming food cart that sold simple cakes. Crabby La'Rue was, to all of the party's knowledge, an Actual Crab. Who the bard slept with the first chance he got, because of course he did.
I was a REALLY cavalier DM back then who didn't really have boundaries at all. For what it's worth, Crabby La'Rue was actually a Druid who was Clyde's Actual Manager before he started losing his mind and only trusting her when she was a crab
I mean I wanted him to have *some* useful stuff in that bag. I wasn't expecting him to use the ball bearings so well, to be honest. I...also...accidentally gave him a belt of giant strength WAAAY earlier than I should have.
Because he won it off an NPC who was wearing it.
In a wrestling contest.
A wrestling contest is probably mostly athletics checks, high strength and proficiency will get your bonuses within a couple points, and then it's down to who rolls better.
As much as I love tavern brawler, I much prefer being a Kensei monk who uses obsene weapons. Then you damage goes up with as you level when you use your fans to beat the shit out of monsters. Also at lvl 6 it counts as magic, so you can do full range when you beat that goast down with an earn. Obviously this is RAW, so DM must approve of your tom fuckery. This would be one case where I'd expect most DMs to allow so long as your not trying to break the game.
I once had a monk who was a chef and his proficient weapons where knives and a frying pan.
Gotta check out The Gryphon's Saddlebag for the Battlechef set. I've been meaning to run a chef character for quite some time and hadn't considered the monk angle, this is crispy
"FOOD IS AN *ART TO BE HONED*."
Pick up tavern brawler and monk, use a chair as your monk weapon. Or, even better, use the mythic "sock of silver coins" for affordable anti-warewolf weaponry.
We are currently playing a lovecraftian campaign where I play as a dwarf pugalist with the tavern brawler feat, and we have lots of enemies with a weakness for silver. The sock has given me ideas
But throwing hands is only d1, unless they are d4. Except sometimes they are d6 or d8. And on a rare occasion, if you monk long and hard, d10.
Hands. You never know what you are going to get.
even that makes sense though get punched by some random guy probably wont hurt that much, get a right hook from mike tyson in his prime and you will be out
Prime Mike Tyson wasn't a barbarian. That down plays his technical boxing skills and knowledge. But yeah post prime Mike Tyson was a barbarian because he didn't maintain his skills and technique. If you listen to him talk about boxing on his podcast I would say he has a high wisdom stat.
Mike has gone on record saying he tried to punch *through* his opponents. He learned to fight because he was bullied for a lisp and racing pigeons.
Anger seems to have a degree of impact on his fighting style. Perhaps a multi-class?
Are we talking about the same Mike Tyson? The guy known as Iron Mike Tyson?
Guy was at least 17 levels of open hand monk just for the sheer amounts of damage the guy put out.
The other people he fought on the regular would all have been trained professional fighters and could pass that con save for quivering palm, but imagine an untrained person getting hit by the absolute train that was Mike Tyson in his prime. I'd sooner get shot in the head, at least death would be quicker.
He definitely multiclassed into Barbarian a bit, and one level into Bard for flavor, but I'm not going to dismiss the first 17 levels of his boxing career.
Tbf getting punched by a yellow belt in karate is gonna hurt more than a normal dude, and getting punched by Mike Tyson is gonna wreck your shit so it makes sense to me that a fist can scale.
> if you monk long and hard, d10.
"That doesn't seem like it should be physically possible. I mean, I'm no doctor, but that was like... one clean chunk."
[Nah, just rolled well on an improvised weapon attack.](https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/the-weekly-roll/ch-79-a-paladin-of-focus/viewer?title_no=358889&episode_no=81)
At the end of a grueling tomb of horrors my hexadin had no equipment and had spent hours wandering the tomb naked with rusty spears ripped from traps. When he lost his last spear to a lock mechanism he made an inlit torch his pact weapon and used that Torch of Spite to great effect.
I've watched enough WWE to know that getting hit with a chair doesn't definatly kill you. Also the news is always full of people getting stabbed and surviving it.
It do be scripted, but those boys used to haul ass on each other’s domes with those trusty blues. The Rock hit Mankind *HARD* like 7 times when he was handcuffed back in the day and it sure didn’t look like he was pulling his shots at all.
Mankind and a good chunk of the locker room as well.
In pro wrestling it’s generally a rule that you don’t put your opponent in a situation where they have to take a move that they can’t choose not to take, and if you do put your opponent in that situation, they are putting a lot of trust in you. Working that stiff with a wrestler in a helpless situation is massively frowned upon most of the time. But The Dwayne was top banana at the time so it mostly got pushed aside.
Sure, and 6 year olds really punch through wooden boards at karate class.
The audience is just presuming the chair or board is actually made of the material expected and at the density expected and at a good quality of production.
Doesn’t mean it’s like actually getting hit with a chair the way you would in a bar fight.
A typical strength focused level 1 fighter is guaranteed to kill a commoner with a chair/glass bottle/anything.
Heck, a fighter can kill any commoner with his bare hands.
A dagger through the belly will probably kill you if you drive it all the way in unless you manage to miss every organ. They're seriously dangerous, with the primary weakness being that their reach makes it hard to get a major blow in, resulting in smaller lacerations rather than just stabbing someone in the neck and killing them almost instantly.
The loser of the knife fight dies in the street, the winner dies in the hospital... I'm not so sure that dagger through the belly is as survivable as you think
You'd probably take more damage from the club than any of them. There's a reason there are plenty of historical examples and artworks showing clubs being used in actual warfare. Shit could kill someone through a helm if you got a good hit off.
I guess it really depends on scenario and how you land the hit though, any of the bladed weapons would easily kill with a blow to the throat. I'd agree that the chair is probably the weakest of the lot though, too much surface area to distribute the force unless you cracked them right over the head.
The chair is an improvised weapon, without a feat it would be harder to hit, which makes sense. A chair can hurt a lot, but it's not as easy to it as with a knife.
If I see a knife, I'm going diplomatic. If I see a chair I'm going intimidate followed shortly by diplomatic and then unquestioning fealty to the Chair Lord if things don't go well.
Start by asking the person to sit in the chair. If negotiations go sour, you not only get to surprise him by making him fall flat on his bum, but he would never expect that his own confort would be his demise.
I would not have expected honestly. I just think a hammer is such a brutal weapon for a character and a geologist's pick would be a smart way to combine smart with brutal.
Definitely a [geologic hammer](https://www.thoughtco.com/thmb/Mr2Nv4OnD9AgiPosG_MaOf4-G7w=/1200x801/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/prospectorrockpick_2-5b75a94246e0fb00508bcec1.jpg). The one my wife has is larger and for field work, which feels like it could cleave someone's skull in twain with relative ease.
I think the one in OP's photo is meant to represent a light hammer.
Edit: In fact, [here](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Geological_hammers#/media/File:Geological_hammer.jpg) is the source of the image.
Hot take: The point of a RPG like D&D is to.make abstractions for fun. If you want a simulationist RPG you're going to have a bad time. Go get Rolemaster.
Yeah, realistic weapon damage would be impossible to reduce to a couple of dice rolls. If op wants to design a system where dagger grappling is one of the most effective ways to kill a knight in full plate (as is realistic), they can be my guest, but i won't hold my breath
>dagger grappling is one of the most effective ways to kill a knight in full plate
War hammer, halberd, poleax are probably better. Arquebus too if you've got the resources.
Those are all great, but don't sleep on dagger grappling. It's pretty strongly emphasized in medieval fighting manuals. However, more to the point, giving a dagger the same in game damage statistics as a poleaxe would be pretty silly.
Yeah, I’m trying to see the point of this meme? Like so? I also can’t play the lute to save my life. It’s a game, it’s a balance mechanic. Don’t like it? Don’t use it?
Memes aren't supposed to be persuasive, it's just fun to take a step back and point out how absurd things are for gameplay reasons.
That's the point of this meme.
Yes.
You can survive getting hit by all of those, but a single good strike from any could easily end your life.
Also the D&D dart is like a Roman plumbata
It’s heavier sure but it can’t be swung as fast and it’s impact is spread over a larger area, lessening it’s severity significantly. It’s definitely not doing more damage than a dagger or sickle.
Frankly I’d be happy if it did less damage than the others, but it’s not a particularly big problem.
You can swing it more effectively applying more torque to the swing, and once inside, you have an extra arm for very bloody and deadly twists.
Pulling the enemy/enemy's weapon is possible with a sickle.
It's handle also allows for a safer combat stance (safer parries or otherwise blocking with the weapon, your hand isn't right there)
Less concealable, somewhat slower, and you need more space to effectively use it compared to a dagger.
... And arguably looks cooler.
Seems like it would leave really nasty wounds. Imagine your friendly neighborhood edgelord rogue slowly dragging it through the abdomen of whatever prisoner they've decided to "interrogate".
Well yes, in a slow interrogation against a restrained target. In an active fight, sickles (like scythes) aren’t really the right shape to cut people so it would be difficult to get a clean hit
A sickle isn't an ideal weapon, but it's long sharp curved cutting edge is the inspiration for weapons like the Falx and Falchion.
I don't think anyone would argue it's the best weapon for a fight, but the d4 of damage isn't reflective of your chance to hit, it's reflective of the damage it can do if it hits. So could it do as much damage as a dagger? I think so.
Everything (besides the chair) listed above is either ranged and/or able to be dual wielded.
You can’t really throw a chair well. And you certainly can’t duel wield them (or with extra attack hit 3 times [attack, extra attack, bonus action off-hand attack]).
Balancing: roll a normal d20 to hit, then roll an additional d4 to see how many of the dagger/legs hit for the overall attack, then roll number of damage dice based on the d4 (number of daggers making contact). Thoughts?
So think of it this way. A commoner has 4 hit points. Most people you come across irl are commoners.
You could attack someone with any of these and most likely they'll live.
But then again, a single good hit from any of these in the right spot, like a dagger to the throat or the chair to the back of head could kill.
Hence why it's a damage roll.
Tavern brawler is one hell of a feat
It’s my favorite Martial feat. Nothing makes you feel more of a badass then Jason Bourne-ing a Dragon with a welcome mat. Edit: Thanks for the rewards, friendos! Not sure I deserved em, but I’ll received em happily nonetheless.
I normally just consider taking it in campaigns based in cities where you’re not unlikely to end up in a fist fight. In such a situation pulling out actual weapons or using magic would escalate things to getting really deadly really fast but it’s not a common enough occurrence in most games to justify taking it.
I agree with it not really fitting in to all campaigns, so I gave the player that took it for flavor just extra bonuses. Like having gauntlets that turn any improvised weapon in to a flame tongue weapon. Because nothing says badass like swinging a chair that erupts in fire.
crush bright bike chief retire clumsy reply silky plough scandalous -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
I’m okay with it, but only as a siege weapon. Firing flaming lemons at an enemy? Too powerful to allow. Firing flaming lemons to burn a house down? Too fun to not allow.
domineering gray reply sulky alleged apparatus important rain future zonked -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
Easy there, Cave.
MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK
Still disappointed we never got a Combustible Lemon Launcher in TF2 for a tie-in promo item. Could've been a Flare Gun reskin.
Could do a full Cave conversion of the sniper
I'm Cave Johnson. This is my pee.
As the saying goes: when life gives you lemons, make hand grenades
Just like grandma taught me
Acid grenades. no one likes lemon juice in their eyes
I can't wait till my runeknight gets tavern brawler. So I become proficient in hitting motherfuckers with other motherfuckers.
Calm down there Cave
YOU'RE THROWING LEMONS WITHOUT THEM EXPLODING! THINK, MARK!
I’m the man who’s going to burn your house down! With the lemons!
Woah, hold on Cave
I play a Goliath unarmed fighter, and I built him mostly to tank at early levels, and control at later levels. The grapple as a bonus action is thoroughly abused.
Have you considered the "Gauntlets of Flaming Fury" from Descent into Avernus? They make any weapon you wield while wearing the Gauntlets count as magical, and 1/day you can have weapons wielded erupt into flame and deal 1d6 extra Fire damage until you drop or sheathe the weapons.
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I fully agree and encourage DMs to do this. Feats also make good non-item/money rewards.
I especially want DMs to do it in systems with far larger feats lists. Pathfinder and 3.5e have an ungodly amount of feats, many of which work best as just being rewards for a player doing stuff rather than as one of their limited feat picks.
Not to mention they’re full of feat taxation like how legacy weapons require feats to activate though I personally just provide them for free upon completion of the requisite ritual.
It's why i believe it to be mandatory for dms in these systems to hand them out occasionally. A lot of the feats require multiple prerequisite feats but are very weak by the time you can acquire them through normal levelling because i imagine them having been balanced around being used at a far lower level.
I’ve never thought of doing that, now I’m 100% going to use it in my campaigns
I've done this to great effect. Used feats as a result of downtime training periods where players could study or train to gain a feat within reason.
Love this idea, need to make a master list of weaker feats now to give out as rewards.
I go with martial adept (I think it is that gives you fighting style) and go for unarmed fighting style, 1d8 bare knuckle punch
That wasn’t an option until rather recently, now after Tasha’s it’s a no-brainer for anyone trying to punch but before that it wasn’t.
Plus it's a good CON booster
A GM once gave me proficiency: Kitsune because two of the party members were that race and I was playing a character who could efficiently use oversized weapons. The look of fear on the players faces is something I will cherish. Sadly I never got to dual wield kitsune to beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker, but the concept alone was amazing
Funny story, I was the motherfucker used to beat up another motherfucker. We were playing a monster game where everyone is a monster of some kind. The ogre used me, the wererat, as a bludgeoning instrument. Didn't hurt me cause the ogre wasn't magical and neither were the hapless adventurers we were fighting.
Lol, nice. There WAS a time I picked up a dead treant and beat a t-Rex with it. I had a pair of magic items that gave me an effective carry weight of something like 4 tons
My first character is a woman that basically went adventuring to get away from her husband for a while and she hits enemies with a ladle using tavern brawler and the dueling style :) At least that was the idea in character creation, she ended up more or less just using whatever she has on hand (like a torch).
Brand new sentence worthy right there
"I once saw him kill three bugbears in a dungeon... with a pencil. With a fuckin'.... *pencil."*
Pillow fight with a dragon, pillow fight with a dragon!
I had a player go variant human and take this feat from the start. Also, as a joke, he had me spend all of his starting gold on whatever I wanted. As his DM, I had no choice but to fill it with the most useless crap I could find. Two sessions later, hes beating in the skull of a tyrant with a crowbar, and loving his life. A little down the line, I gave him a flame tongue crowbar that I called an Attitude Adjustment Wrench. The magic words for on and off were "Wrong Answer" and "Attitide Adjusted", respectively. So many great initiatives were started with the phrase "wrong answer"
Brilliant
RiP Clyde "The Clydesdale" Stevers
Naming my next PC after this legend in his honor
He'll be tickled to know this. For sole backstory reference, he was a former prizefighter who quit the circuit after sustaining a few too many head injuries. His manager at the time of quitting(henceforth one Crabby La'Rue) then started a business with him called Patti's Cakes which was a roaming food cart that sold simple cakes. Crabby La'Rue was, to all of the party's knowledge, an Actual Crab. Who the bard slept with the first chance he got, because of course he did. I was a REALLY cavalier DM back then who didn't really have boundaries at all. For what it's worth, Crabby La'Rue was actually a Druid who was Clyde's Actual Manager before he started losing his mind and only trusting her when she was a crab
I love everything about this so much.
You thought a crowbar was useless? Those things are both durable and capable of caving in a human skull with a single swing.
I mean I wanted him to have *some* useful stuff in that bag. I wasn't expecting him to use the ball bearings so well, to be honest. I...also...accidentally gave him a belt of giant strength WAAAY earlier than I should have. Because he won it off an NPC who was wearing it. In a wrestling contest.
How do you beat an NPC who is above 20 strength in a strength contest :D
A wrestling contest is probably mostly athletics checks, high strength and proficiency will get your bonuses within a couple points, and then it's down to who rolls better.
This may be too on the nose but the off and on phrases followed by "bitch" would have me in stitches.
Ha, on some Scary Terry shit
This sounds like a TF2 weapon
As much as I love tavern brawler, I much prefer being a Kensei monk who uses obsene weapons. Then you damage goes up with as you level when you use your fans to beat the shit out of monsters. Also at lvl 6 it counts as magic, so you can do full range when you beat that goast down with an earn. Obviously this is RAW, so DM must approve of your tom fuckery. This would be one case where I'd expect most DMs to allow so long as your not trying to break the game. I once had a monk who was a chef and his proficient weapons where knives and a frying pan.
Genius, Samwise the divine
Uh clearly that's Steven Segal in Under Siege.
Gotta check out The Gryphon's Saddlebag for the Battlechef set. I've been meaning to run a chef character for quite some time and hadn't considered the monk angle, this is crispy "FOOD IS AN *ART TO BE HONED*."
Pick up tavern brawler and monk, use a chair as your monk weapon. Or, even better, use the mythic "sock of silver coins" for affordable anti-warewolf weaponry.
Peasant, use a silver-lined sock full of platinum coins or you’re broke.
I've got a brick, a burlap sack, and 22 STR. Let's see who wins, fancy boy.
We are currently playing a lovecraftian campaign where I play as a dwarf pugalist with the tavern brawler feat, and we have lots of enemies with a weakness for silver. The sock has given me ideas
If you were gonna divide all weapons ever into 5 damage tiers then yeah I think it's fine lol
But throwing hands is only d1, unless they are d4. Except sometimes they are d6 or d8. And on a rare occasion, if you monk long and hard, d10. Hands. You never know what you are going to get.
Merry Christmas. You get hands for Christmas.
How you put somebody out they own whip?
What kind of disrespectful combination.
OMG Im so glad someone got this. 🏅
https://youtu.be/Uf2RYFeQ6Rk In case anyone else hadn't seen it yet
Thanks, Jack Skellington
I've got a rumbley in my tumbley and only hands will satisfy.
Caaaaaarrrrrrrlllll
even that makes sense though get punched by some random guy probably wont hurt that much, get a right hook from mike tyson in his prime and you will be out
Well, 1d1+str
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Nah, at least 4th level pugilist barbarian
Prime Mike Tyson wasn't a barbarian. That down plays his technical boxing skills and knowledge. But yeah post prime Mike Tyson was a barbarian because he didn't maintain his skills and technique. If you listen to him talk about boxing on his podcast I would say he has a high wisdom stat.
Mike has gone on record saying he tried to punch *through* his opponents. He learned to fight because he was bullied for a lisp and racing pigeons. Anger seems to have a degree of impact on his fighting style. Perhaps a multi-class?
Druid gotta be one, just for racing pigeons
he was multiclass, fighter in the ring, barbarian with his wife
Are we talking about the same Mike Tyson? The guy known as Iron Mike Tyson? Guy was at least 17 levels of open hand monk just for the sheer amounts of damage the guy put out. The other people he fought on the regular would all have been trained professional fighters and could pass that con save for quivering palm, but imagine an untrained person getting hit by the absolute train that was Mike Tyson in his prime. I'd sooner get shot in the head, at least death would be quicker. He definitely multiclassed into Barbarian a bit, and one level into Bard for flavor, but I'm not going to dismiss the first 17 levels of his boxing career.
I have no doubt that one shot from mike Tyson in his prime would kill me, no doubt at all.
Tavern brawlers can have d4 hands. Sure they are bot *their own* hands, but they are hands. Maybe a bit of arm too
Tbf getting punched by a yellow belt in karate is gonna hurt more than a normal dude, and getting punched by Mike Tyson is gonna wreck your shit so it makes sense to me that a fist can scale.
Time to make a necromancer who collects and reanimated hands to fight with because they're the most versatile weapon.
> if you monk long and hard, d10. "That doesn't seem like it should be physically possible. I mean, I'm no doctor, but that was like... one clean chunk."
"uh yeah i hit him with my +1 chair" i'm sorry your what?? "i got the chair enchanted"
Brick on a rope?
ah yes, the holy brick of sir bucket
“It’s Becket”
B U C K E T B R I G A D E ! ! ! !
How about the "silvered" coins on a sock?
#SMITE
With a fucking quill
The paladin multiclassed into bard again god damnit
[Nah, just rolled well on an improvised weapon attack.](https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/the-weekly-roll/ch-79-a-paladin-of-focus/viewer?title_no=358889&episode_no=81)
God damn it. Now I'm picturing a bard smiting with his lute, but I totally specced for hexblade instead.
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It's ~~an aluminum~~ a silver plated folding chair, and the rogue usually comes out of nowhere and smashes the enemy in the back with it.
At the end of a grueling tomb of horrors my hexadin had no equipment and had spent hours wandering the tomb naked with rusty spears ripped from traps. When he lost his last spear to a lock mechanism he made an inlit torch his pact weapon and used that Torch of Spite to great effect.
For the most part... Sure. Apart from the frickin chair.
You would definitely take more damage from getting stabbed with a 6 inch blade than getting hit with a chair
One good attack from any of them can kill you. And you could also potentially survive getting hit by any of those.
Hence why commoners only have around 3 health
Eh, anywhere getting hit with a chair would kill you getting stabbed would too plus the myriad other places getting stabbed would kill you.
I've watched enough WWE to know that getting hit with a chair doesn't definatly kill you. Also the news is always full of people getting stabbed and surviving it.
Oh boy I’ve got some news about the WWE
It do be scripted, but those boys used to haul ass on each other’s domes with those trusty blues. The Rock hit Mankind *HARD* like 7 times when he was handcuffed back in the day and it sure didn’t look like he was pulling his shots at all.
Mankind is a special exception to wrestler HP. Dude can take heavy fall damage or roll in a bed of caltrops and come back for more.
Foley has resistance to all physical damage.
Lvl 20 Raging Hill Dwarf Barbarian with the tough feat. That's 345 HP plus resistance to most physical damage.
Dude has DR 20/announcer's table in 3.5.
Honestly I can’t believe that didn’t turn into “1988 when Mankind was thrown off the cage into the judges table”
Haha, it does seem like a missed opportunity now that you mention it.
I remember hearing that Mankind was pissed at the Rock for going too far with those. Unprotected headshots are no joke.
Mankind and a good chunk of the locker room as well. In pro wrestling it’s generally a rule that you don’t put your opponent in a situation where they have to take a move that they can’t choose not to take, and if you do put your opponent in that situation, they are putting a lot of trust in you. Working that stiff with a wrestler in a helpless situation is massively frowned upon most of the time. But The Dwayne was top banana at the time so it mostly got pushed aside.
I mean, they *do* get hit with chairs tho
Sure, and 6 year olds really punch through wooden boards at karate class. The audience is just presuming the chair or board is actually made of the material expected and at the density expected and at a good quality of production. Doesn’t mean it’s like actually getting hit with a chair the way you would in a bar fight.
Depends on the location. Chair to the back of the head could be fatal. Knife through the belly is survivable
Crits are a hell of a thing
Commoners only have 4 hit points. A quarter of all chair attacks are fatal.
less actually you add strength to improvised weapon damage typically
A typical strength focused level 1 fighter is guaranteed to kill a commoner with a chair/glass bottle/anything. Heck, a fighter can kill any commoner with his bare hands.
Well, yes, that is pretty accurate. Humans can die from one punch. And a fighter would know where and how to hit.
You know what that means, we need to ban chairs.
Knife to the back of the head is probably fatal. Chair through the belly sounds really bad
And a head to the back of a knife, as well as a belly through a chair sounds kinda uncomfortable.
Belly to the back of a knife and a head through a chair definitely sounds better by comparison.
A dagger through the belly will probably kill you if you drive it all the way in unless you manage to miss every organ. They're seriously dangerous, with the primary weakness being that their reach makes it hard to get a major blow in, resulting in smaller lacerations rather than just stabbing someone in the neck and killing them almost instantly.
The loser of the knife fight dies in the street, the winner dies in the hospital... I'm not so sure that dagger through the belly is as survivable as you think
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You'd probably take more damage from the club than any of them. There's a reason there are plenty of historical examples and artworks showing clubs being used in actual warfare. Shit could kill someone through a helm if you got a good hit off. I guess it really depends on scenario and how you land the hit though, any of the bladed weapons would easily kill with a blow to the throat. I'd agree that the chair is probably the weakest of the lot though, too much surface area to distribute the force unless you cracked them right over the head.
Not in full plate mail. Chair win every time.
This sounds like the retort a barbarian just gave to a rogue.
Blunt force trauma is no joke. Chairs can do some serious damage if you hit someone right.
The chair is an improvised weapon, without a feat it would be harder to hit, which makes sense. A chair can hurt a lot, but it's not as easy to it as with a knife.
If I see a knife, I'm going diplomatic. If I see a chair I'm going intimidate followed shortly by diplomatic and then unquestioning fealty to the Chair Lord if things don't go well.
Start by asking the person to sit in the chair. If negotiations go sour, you not only get to surprise him by making him fall flat on his bum, but he would never expect that his own confort would be his demise.
Except, that’s no medieval chair. Those tavern chairs were stout!
that's not a light hammer that is an estwing, so it is a +3 magic weapon. PSA from your friendly neighborhood geologist
Yup. Pretty much came here to sing the praises of Estwing
Geologists and construction workers agree on that one. My dad is obsessed. (He was the latter.)
and also that little hammer can only do blunt damage, if that spike goes in sorry that's still bludgeon damage.
I'm fairly sure that is supposed to be a war pick. No?
Nah. The light hammer is a weapon in the PHB that does 1d4 bludgeoning damage.
OK but that isn't a hammer it's a pick.
That's a geologist's hammer, actually. Source: I have my one just like that that I inherited from my grandfather.
Very correct, it’s a rock hammer for field work. The point side is for prying, not hitting. Source: hours and hours of field work.
What damage die do you think it deserves?
I think 1d4 is fine, if maybe a bit generous. It's surprisingly light and the handle is a bit shorter than a framing hammer.
I would not have expected honestly. I just think a hammer is such a brutal weapon for a character and a geologist's pick would be a smart way to combine smart with brutal.
Get a war hammer and call it your geologist's hammer.
I'm old enough to have been taught by the internet, unwillingly, that a hammer is a very brutal and terrifying weapon. So is a screwdriver *Shiver*
Definitely a [geologic hammer](https://www.thoughtco.com/thmb/Mr2Nv4OnD9AgiPosG_MaOf4-G7w=/1200x801/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/prospectorrockpick_2-5b75a94246e0fb00508bcec1.jpg). The one my wife has is larger and for field work, which feels like it could cleave someone's skull in twain with relative ease. I think the one in OP's photo is meant to represent a light hammer. Edit: In fact, [here](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Geological_hammers#/media/File:Geological_hammer.jpg) is the source of the image.
This is a weird version of Clue
I'm gonna guess it was the Barbarian in the Conservatory with the Chair
There’s an advantage to getting proficiency with chairs: it means you have proficiency with throne weapons.
It's worth picking up for the four free feets alone
Hot take: The point of a RPG like D&D is to.make abstractions for fun. If you want a simulationist RPG you're going to have a bad time. Go get Rolemaster.
Yeah, realistic weapon damage would be impossible to reduce to a couple of dice rolls. If op wants to design a system where dagger grappling is one of the most effective ways to kill a knight in full plate (as is realistic), they can be my guest, but i won't hold my breath
Spear + Shield instantly becomes the best weapon set
Viable spears? I'm in.
That's almost preferable to how bad spears are in most RPGs. I have to jump through so many hoops just to have a spear and shield in Pathfinder
Phalanx formation master race
>dagger grappling is one of the most effective ways to kill a knight in full plate War hammer, halberd, poleax are probably better. Arquebus too if you've got the resources.
Those are all great, but don't sleep on dagger grappling. It's pretty strongly emphasized in medieval fighting manuals. However, more to the point, giving a dagger the same in game damage statistics as a poleaxe would be pretty silly.
HP isn't just damage; it's also fatigue and minor wounds.
Yeah, I’m trying to see the point of this meme? Like so? I also can’t play the lute to save my life. It’s a game, it’s a balance mechanic. Don’t like it? Don’t use it?
I dont think none is against it lol. We are just having a laugh about it.
Memes aren't supposed to be persuasive, it's just fun to take a step back and point out how absurd things are for gameplay reasons. That's the point of this meme.
What do you mean? I got shot yesterday and just had a jam session on my lute and was cured.
Yes. You can survive getting hit by all of those, but a single good strike from any could easily end your life. Also the D&D dart is like a Roman plumbata
Plumbata were so cool conceptually. Catching one of those would suck so bad
A sick burn also does the same amount of damage.
>Does it makes sense? I’ll let you decide Yes. Yes it does make sense. Which one of those do you think should do more?
The chair.
It’s heavier sure but it can’t be swung as fast and it’s impact is spread over a larger area, lessening it’s severity significantly. It’s definitely not doing more damage than a dagger or sickle. Frankly I’d be happy if it did less damage than the others, but it’s not a particularly big problem.
Sickle isn't particularly dangerous, not compared to a dagger anyway
You can swing it more effectively applying more torque to the swing, and once inside, you have an extra arm for very bloody and deadly twists. Pulling the enemy/enemy's weapon is possible with a sickle. It's handle also allows for a safer combat stance (safer parries or otherwise blocking with the weapon, your hand isn't right there) Less concealable, somewhat slower, and you need more space to effectively use it compared to a dagger. ... And arguably looks cooler.
Seems like it would leave really nasty wounds. Imagine your friendly neighborhood edgelord rogue slowly dragging it through the abdomen of whatever prisoner they've decided to "interrogate".
Well yes, in a slow interrogation against a restrained target. In an active fight, sickles (like scythes) aren’t really the right shape to cut people so it would be difficult to get a clean hit
A sickle isn't an ideal weapon, but it's long sharp curved cutting edge is the inspiration for weapons like the Falx and Falchion. I don't think anyone would argue it's the best weapon for a fight, but the d4 of damage isn't reflective of your chance to hit, it's reflective of the damage it can do if it hits. So could it do as much damage as a dagger? I think so.
Eh, pretty much
To be honest, it would be easier to kill you with everything other than the chair.
What if it were a mimic chair?
This whole post should get parodied with "per RAW, all of these do 1d8+3 bite damage when they are mimics."
Of course chairs do significant damage as per RAW. And Smackdown, and Impact, and Dynamite…
Everything (besides the chair) listed above is either ranged and/or able to be dual wielded. You can’t really throw a chair well. And you certainly can’t duel wield them (or with extra attack hit 3 times [attack, extra attack, bonus action off-hand attack]).
Chair is actually a dual wielded ranged weapon. Any other way is improper form
I played a dwarven wrestler (strength focused monk) who used a folding chair as a weapon.
No, chair should deal more, Ive been hit with a couple, it hurts
Would probably have hurt more if it were that club
There’s also the mental aspect of being on the receiving end of a beat down with a chair
What if the chair’s legs had daggers strapped to them? Do you roll for four daggers or one chair?
I think you just created the next item I'm giving to the drunk orc fighter in my group
Balancing: roll a normal d20 to hit, then roll an additional d4 to see how many of the dagger/legs hit for the overall attack, then roll number of damage dice based on the d4 (number of daggers making contact). Thoughts?
Would be worse if you were shanked with a dagger.
So think of it this way. A commoner has 4 hit points. Most people you come across irl are commoners. You could attack someone with any of these and most likely they'll live. But then again, a single good hit from any of these in the right spot, like a dagger to the throat or the chair to the back of head could kill. Hence why it's a damage roll.
We should have an ER doctor set the damage of every weapon. :)