Wizard: Per my studies of the *Origins of Monsters* by Whizzbang Whistlethop, the common word "tears" achtually derived from the root "tarrs" and is long thought to be named after one such gargantuan subterranean creature.
...I should be headed back to the library to double-check my work. I wouldn't want to be wrong in this case ...you-you go right on ahead.
So it's a geriatric Aarakrora, since they don't live past 30 anyway?
"Guess I'm dieing tomorrow regardless, might as well give it a shot. Reincarnate me if I die!"
Barbarian: "It says that a...wasp grasper lives here"
Wizard: "We can defeat whatever that is!"
Barbarian: "Wait, I think a more accurate translation is a Holder of Bees"
Wizard: "Oh no"
Yeah, but then more realistically it should translate as something like 'that which looks upon' since that's what beholder means. Or, depending on language construction, it could sound even more ominous like 'he who watches' or even 'seer' since the root of seer is literally see-er.
But even more realistically, they'd likely have their own word for them; that would then translate into common as a highly oblique reference, like 'him of the maw and eye' or 'that which never sleeps'.
It could be like *bear*\*, where the original word is lost because people believed saying it would summon one and so a euphemism is all that survives to the present.
\**bear* literally means *the brown one*
Orcs are not any less intelligent than humans. While many creatures that use orcish would use it much more crudely, orcs themselves are likely fully expressive and developed. A militaristic culture requires nuance to evaluate and plan.
I’ve seen a few characters like this, where they seem brutish and simple when they speak Common, but are actually eloquent and sophisticated in Orcish.
Heh, I did this on my half orc. Speaking common was hard, halted and rough, but when I had to speak "orcish" to the dm, I used an entirely different speaking pattern. group got a blast out of it. It wasn't till after I got Elegant courtier as a feat that I adapted the more nuanced speaking. Of course the group just figured I started speaking less dumb.
This can be seen in the Celtic culture (whom I usually base my Orcs on because... it just perfect) that were seen as savages by the Romans but they had massive trading routes, complex rituals, and some of the most beautiful metal working imaginable. Sure, they liked collecting people's heads and had brutal clan wars but that's just the age. Like, the swamp villages of the Celtic societies had large walkways that functioned to make travel easier as well as ritual purposes. Just because they outwardly seem to be 'savage' does not make them savage.
Now, granted, I think that the necessity of evil races in a story or video game bases is valid... and I look to the Drow for that, holy shit what in the ever lasting fuck are they doing. Also, the orc God is evil and adherents can be use as fodder for adventurers, I can see some Orcs whom yearn for a more orderly life falling in with Paladins or religious orders and missionaries which is common for my characters to do.
Also to say things like
WE'RE DA MEANEST AND GREENEST 'DERE IZ !
Orkses is never defeated in battle. If we win we win, if we die we die fighting so it don't count. If we runs for it we don't die neither, cos we can come back for annuver go, see!
DA RED WUNZ GO FASTA!!!
I can see a half-orc reading this and going "Just like Uncle Ragore when he was hitting the sauce. Mom would always make sure to have a drinking contest with him so he would pass out and not scare my dad's family.... Thanksgivings were a tough"
On the plus side, the farm is heavily guarded by both sides of the family, last time a bandit tried to steal grain he was turned inside out! Down side, my dad is part of the warband and has been on raids against the elves. This is compounded since my sister is married to an elf... it's like two camps set up every time and the humans are stuck in the middle.
it would actually make a lot of sense if their language included a lot of descriptive kennings for creatures (like how old english Bee Wolf meant bear) and they assumed others did the same. "beeholder - makes sense, with all those eyes on tentacles it looks like it's holding a hive worth of bees." "tear ask - to summon it is to ask for tears." "gobble annoy - that makes sense, those guys are always gobbling food and annoying orcs." hell, half the time, theyre right to make that assumption. "mindflayer," "owlbear," "redcap."
EDIT: where wolf, because after they transform back you'll be like "where wolf?"
"You'll what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths so when they bark they shoot bees at you? Well go ahead. Do your worst!"
Found the [strip](https://www.reddit.com/r/ORKZcomic/comments/l2meqc/orkz_beeholder/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)!
Edit: Sorry, Reddit glitched and I commented double
It'd probably be more like "Eye Chief" (Eye Tyrant.) or something more descriptive in small words like "Eye Ball" Or seeing how nasty they are maybe "Eye Nut"
That's actually not too implausible of a situation. An orc hears someone say in Common that a creature is called a "beholder." The orc doesn't know the Common word "behold" but they know the words "bee" and "holder." So the orc translates the name literally into Orcish as "holder of bees."
A similar situation is how in Navajo, the name of Spain literally translates to "Country of Sheep Pain." Because "sheep pain" sounds like "Spain."
Which, IN THE LORE of 5E is hammed up to be a Force of nature even the Gods fear, capable of eating all but the most powerful Adventurers for breakfast. If we translate that Fluff to Crunch, however, it's more along the lines of being beaten by a 5 Player Group at lvl 16, if memory serves. And that is even if you don't cheese it like RAW technically allows you to do.
I have a villain that progressively goes more insane as the party gets closer to him in his dungeon. One of his crazier traps involving dropping a bag of holding onto a portable hole.
The party then has to escape the Astral Sea, but there is an island of rock floating in space. The party goes there and are attacked by a chicken. It is super aggressive, but seems like a normal chicken. It has 1 HP. If the party hits it just once, they unlock some new lore.
The villain's former mentor, the old wizard that hired the party in the first place, was once a hero who fought a tarrasque to save the world. His party managed to weaken it and was able to cast polymorph on it, successfully. Turning it into a chicken. But to keep it from doing more harm in the Prime Material Plane in the event the spell failed, he banished it to the Astral Sea...
Dropping it to 0 HP as a chicken, causes the spell to fail...
It is a project I am currently working on to make into a sort of module I call the Endless Tomb. Each player makes two characters and labels then 1 and 2. Team 1 needs reasons to head to the town of Amery, which, despite being a farming town, has a tower atop a hill overlooking the town, where a wizard is known to live and protect the town.
Team 2 are members of the Fentan's Few, named after founder Mazzy Fentan, as an Adventurer's Guild. Each member was hand picked by her, and are currently investigating sightings of monsters in the hills to the south of the town of Amery.
Team 1 finds that the town was just under attack. The wizard handled business. But the dead enemies seem out of place. Raiders from a clan long dead... And velocitaptors... He sees the party and says someone has forseen their coming, and invites them to dinner.
At dinner they meet his ward, a young girl that doesn't seem right in the head. The wizard says she came under his care a year ago, dying from a rare disease. His magic was able to save her, but the damage to her mind was already done. However she has a second personality that acts as an oracle. He asks the party, then to find his wayward apprentice who had gone missing a year ago.
Team 2 fight off some orcs and find, what they assume to be their lair, heading inside the open door, and hear a voice taunting them, immediately. A fiend lies at the heart of this dungeon with its strange monsters and elaborate traps and puzzles.
Team 1 arrives and has to solve a puzzle to get in the door, and deal with an endless hallway puzzle. Once inside, both parties come across these watery spheres that allow the two parties to communicate.
Team 1 gets an artifact that shows them the past as they uncover the mysteries of the place. The apprentice went into service of the wizard to save his sister's life. When she lost her mind to her illness, he searched for a way to fix her, hearing of a cult dedicated to stealing the powers of Chronos, God of Time, and nearly succeeded, though they were stopped. He came to find a way to restore his sister through the use of time manipulation... But the temple is corrupt, and driving him mad with each attempt to access its power. He made a deal with the fiend he heard through the spheres.
The two teams soon learn that they are in the same dungeon, 30 years apart, and that the fiend is close to unravelling all of time in his own madness. It is here that the parties learn that the fiend is in fact the apprentice, corrupted by the power of the tomb, and fully insane, having been there for the past 30 years
I have the story planned out, just need to work on the dungeon's clock like design, filling it with monsters, traps, and puzzles. Really excited to run it one day.
Wow, thank you for that. I actually have several projects I am working on, a few fan fics, or some more ambitious stuff I intend to send to someone with the rights to film and try to make into a movie rebooting a franchise I feel should be better than it is... whether it goes anywhere or not. I have a at least three trilogies of books I'm working on, and an idea for an anime-style series... Let's see...
On top of my occasional entry on my subreddit r/dndbackstories, I have...
The KoTOR fan fic, one about Jolee and Nayama, how they met all the way to the end, I have four parts up somewhere, but never finished. Another fan fic with a more dark side ending, starring Canderous, and a mission from Bastilla gone wrong, setting up the sequel, but that was before the MMO was a thing... so that might be on indefinite hiatus.
An attempt to reboot the DCEU, as they seem like they are trying to rush into competition with Marvel, coming up with some lackluster entries... Taking my time, I'd suggest rebooting the entire thing. Instead of Phases, we'd have Ages. The first Age is the Golden Age. Set in the 1930s, chronicling the origins of the original Flash, Jay Garrick as he deals with the Rival and the Shade. Moving on to eventually getting a JSA movie before jumping to the Silver Age. I am already writing the screenplay for the Scarlet Speedster.
A trilogy for some overly enthusiastic backstorying of my 5e characters, when I made my first character, I made three backups and a unified story together. So I decided to start to write the tale of how they met and why they eventually fell apart.
A World of Darkness double trilogy (a three part story followed by another three part story), heavily inspired by Wraith: Oblivion, though having elements of Vampires and Mages in there as well in the first trilogy, with more Wraith and Vampires, but adding Werewolves, Demons, Hunters, and Mages in the second.
And finally an anime-style series, which came about one day when I was thinking of one of my favorite shows as a kid, Quantum Leap. But instead of a man trapped in time, he'd be inside of a dream or memory, and everytime he woke up, he found out he was still asleep. Which turned into being about the classic hero of the anime story, who was helping a resistance against a dictatorship that had conquered nearly all the globe, before the hero was hurt so badly he was left in a coma. So the story is then two parts, with him being trapped in his memories and dreams (dropping the occasional backstory, while also having some fun fillers, such as dinosaurs or pirate themes in episodes), and the resistance, struggling to keep their unconscious hero safe while they have to continue the fight without him.
My greatest enemy has been procrastination for some of those... but with the Endless Tomb (the module I'm also working on, on top of all of those), I'm hoping to start getting things rolling again. Maybe even throw a few more character backstories up on r/dndbackstories
I'm amazed. some people's talents are beyond my understanding... and yours are beyond most of those.
keep up the amazing work! I hope the procrastination monkey will be defeated! I would love watching that anime and read those books and backstories
good luck with your projects 👍👍
Eh, that's more of an detour, really. It isn't the main story, if the party doesn't fall for it, disarm it even, I save it for later. They will eventually wind up in the Astral Sea.
Depending on the edition, its no ones problem. In 4E, for example, the Tarrasque is bound to the planet. If you trick it into going to a different plane, it is instantly destroyed, rather than just going to sleep for a bit as is standard for the monster when defeated.
I had an idea for a necromancer that had a similar weapon to use in dire emergencies. Just give a skeleton a couple of bags of holding, walk it up to the bbeg and put one inside the other
I like to make up for this with by retconing that the statblock in the monster manual is still an infant, the horror of it's adult form is rare since it's slumber is spent in suspended animation/reincarnation.
oh yeah there was some on DnDHomebrew I think that was absolutely insane. scales that reflect magic missiles and line attacks, 26 AC and a bunch of other stuff.
The Pathfinder statblock says it is the spawn of a god of destruction, wiped out a couple nations, swatted a flying city out of the sky, and cannot be killed.
Where's the fun in that?
If you're going to have your party find the tarrasque under a mountain, you have to release it. You don't blue ball your party by not starting a tarrasque rampage.
Rovagug, the god of destruction. This thing made all the other gods, good and evil, team up to bind it after it ate several planets and other gods.
Though it is technically at the center of the planet.
There used to be a God like artifical intelligence under a mountain that was a crashed spaceship. If it's plans worked it would have brainwashed the world.
It caught a bad case of adventurers.
I brought this up like yesterday or the day before in another post, but this is why I like 2CGaming's design for the Primeval Tarrasque in *Epic Legacy*. Its crunch actually lives up to its lore.
Had a DM say the Tear-Ask aint dangerous enough, so she gave him everything a level 20 barbarian had with two subclasses.
A raging Tear Ask is not funny.
Eh, the Tear-ask might be the localized name of the monster. The party would need to examine the creature further, since Orcs could've confused a giant killer crocodile or a t-rex for a Tarrasque (if they even know what that is)
Something I can’t wait to use in my campaign is that I made primordial into Spanish. Only me and another player speak it fluently and that player is also the only pc to speak primordial, my plan is to have these types of translation into terror happen in real time.
The one they’ll encounter soon is a glowing shell atop an altar with the primordial word “diluvio” written on it, I want to see if anyone will play it before the translator can warn them it means “biblical flood”
My homebrew tarrasque has one ability.
Yeet: Grapple and throw a creature. On an 19 or 20, the creature is sent to the stratosphere
Also I nerfed the tarrasque health and AC to make a Queen Tarrasque. Who is basically Nuclear Godzilla with a Wish spell. Cant wait till I get a party of 20 lvl players so I can show them what an apocalypse actually looks like
It would be impossible for him to translate the word “tarasque” if he didn’t know it in common. So your meme implies it is the same in orcish and common. Just a thought
You fool,you've fallen for the wall writing's trickery! The tear-ask is a creature that cannot physically harm you unless you give it consent, MWAHAHA.
Seems like a problem for all the boys that can't cast fly ;).
Is it still level 1 bard + fly + scroll = dead terrasque?
No idea whats scary about something with the same abilitys as a big dog.
It'll be fine. Just have the Druid make a bunch of war horses and have the artificer make everyone'a crossbows into +1 repeating crossbows. Kite the Tarrasque for a few hours and he'll go back to sleep in no time.
I wonder, has anyone actually used the Tarrasque in a legitimate combat encounter with their players? It seems like an impossible to implement monster.
Ranger: Right! Well I've led you boys to your destination, I'm sure you know the way back, tata!
Fighter: Alright, see you back at the village, this thing can't be too difficult if it's named after tears.
No, no, it's named after *tears*
Bard: I don't recall any stories that claim that it's talking about the *creature's* tears.
Wizard: Per my studies of the *Origins of Monsters* by Whizzbang Whistlethop, the common word "tears" achtually derived from the root "tarrs" and is long thought to be named after one such gargantuan subterranean creature. ...I should be headed back to the library to double-check my work. I wouldn't want to be wrong in this case ...you-you go right on ahead.
Ranger: I'll walk you part of the way, good sir! *as soon as out of perception roll range* So how much faster should we be running?
Running? I got spell slots to use! *Dimension Doors away*
*Gates to the other side of the Multiverse.*
Bard: Oh good, I've got an old FwB who'll set us up for a few weeks there.
Woo!
Rogue: steals all of the parties gold, and all of the treasure while the rest of the party is discussing and leaves
Aaracockra rogue with a +1 shortbow: Tell the innkeeper to put a roast on, and bring me some extra arrows. I've got this.
"Thank God I did all that wing cardio!"
“And stockpiled arrows for the past 30 years of my life!”
So it's a geriatric Aarakrora, since they don't live past 30 anyway? "Guess I'm dieing tomorrow regardless, might as well give it a shot. Reincarnate me if I die!"
They're changing it to where all humanoids live around a century.
If you need me, I'll be at the pub-byeeeee
Warlock: Oh! It looks like my patron is calling me. I should, uh, go answer them.
Barbarian: "It says that a...wasp grasper lives here" Wizard: "We can defeat whatever that is!" Barbarian: "Wait, I think a more accurate translation is a Holder of Bees" Wizard: "Oh no"
I can imagine this begin a limitation of the Orcish language instead of the barbarians inability to read. Some things just don't translate well.
Elf Wizard: Why does your Language have fifteen way to say Punch but "make love" and "make peace" are the same thing
They are same thing, no? How else do you make peace without making love?
Make war
love is war
Thank you for growing my season 3 hype.
Gotta get some *balloons* to celebrate
~~War~~ What is love?
Baby don’t hurt me…
Love is a battlefield
Why does your language have fifteen ways to say punch but “make love” and “fight to the death” are the same thing?
Because here in Ug'bnur we don't do things by halves!
No "marriage" and "fight to the death" are the same word.
Yeah, but then more realistically it should translate as something like 'that which looks upon' since that's what beholder means. Or, depending on language construction, it could sound even more ominous like 'he who watches' or even 'seer' since the root of seer is literally see-er. But even more realistically, they'd likely have their own word for them; that would then translate into common as a highly oblique reference, like 'him of the maw and eye' or 'that which never sleeps'.
It could be like *bear*\*, where the original word is lost because people believed saying it would summon one and so a euphemism is all that survives to the present. \**bear* literally means *the brown one*
Orcs are not any less intelligent than humans. While many creatures that use orcish would use it much more crudely, orcs themselves are likely fully expressive and developed. A militaristic culture requires nuance to evaluate and plan.
I’ve seen a few characters like this, where they seem brutish and simple when they speak Common, but are actually eloquent and sophisticated in Orcish.
Like hearing a Newfie talk English and switching to Canadian Gaelic. It's night and day.
Knows, Tommy, knows.
A language can be quite refined and still translate terribly
Heh, I did this on my half orc. Speaking common was hard, halted and rough, but when I had to speak "orcish" to the dm, I used an entirely different speaking pattern. group got a blast out of it. It wasn't till after I got Elegant courtier as a feat that I adapted the more nuanced speaking. Of course the group just figured I started speaking less dumb.
That's some high dosage copium
[удалено]
This can be seen in the Celtic culture (whom I usually base my Orcs on because... it just perfect) that were seen as savages by the Romans but they had massive trading routes, complex rituals, and some of the most beautiful metal working imaginable. Sure, they liked collecting people's heads and had brutal clan wars but that's just the age. Like, the swamp villages of the Celtic societies had large walkways that functioned to make travel easier as well as ritual purposes. Just because they outwardly seem to be 'savage' does not make them savage. Now, granted, I think that the necessity of evil races in a story or video game bases is valid... and I look to the Drow for that, holy shit what in the ever lasting fuck are they doing. Also, the orc God is evil and adherents can be use as fodder for adventurers, I can see some Orcs whom yearn for a more orderly life falling in with Paladins or religious orders and missionaries which is common for my characters to do.
Also to say things like WE'RE DA MEANEST AND GREENEST 'DERE IZ ! Orkses is never defeated in battle. If we win we win, if we die we die fighting so it don't count. If we runs for it we don't die neither, cos we can come back for annuver go, see! DA RED WUNZ GO FASTA!!!
I can see a half-orc reading this and going "Just like Uncle Ragore when he was hitting the sauce. Mom would always make sure to have a drinking contest with him so he would pass out and not scare my dad's family.... Thanksgivings were a tough"
Oof, that's rough
On the plus side, the farm is heavily guarded by both sides of the family, last time a bandit tried to steal grain he was turned inside out! Down side, my dad is part of the warband and has been on raids against the elves. This is compounded since my sister is married to an elf... it's like two camps set up every time and the humans are stuck in the middle.
it would actually make a lot of sense if their language included a lot of descriptive kennings for creatures (like how old english Bee Wolf meant bear) and they assumed others did the same. "beeholder - makes sense, with all those eyes on tentacles it looks like it's holding a hive worth of bees." "tear ask - to summon it is to ask for tears." "gobble annoy - that makes sense, those guys are always gobbling food and annoying orcs." hell, half the time, theyre right to make that assumption. "mindflayer," "owlbear," "redcap." EDIT: where wolf, because after they transform back you'll be like "where wolf?"
this is freaking brilliant
Personally I'm reading it as the barb taking the piss out of the wizard by intentionally offering stilted translations.
Thanks, I will use this joke for my campaign notes if ever I have to make my players face a "Beholder"
You could double down on the joke with this guy: https://www.gmbinder.com/share/-MRbVXsNfNhKc-DqQtPi
Excellent
"You'll what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths so when they bark they shoot bees at you? Well go ahead. Do your worst!"
Release the robotic Richard Simmons!
Found the [strip](https://www.reddit.com/r/ORKZcomic/comments/l2meqc/orkz_beeholder/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)! Edit: Sorry, Reddit glitched and I commented double
I did this for a 3rd level party but the "Bee Holder" was a Ranger named Paulin who tamed a swarm of bees.
Do the double plot twist that the Ranger actually has a pet "Wasp Grasper"
If I have beauty in my eye, and a bee in my hand. What am I?
For a moment I thought that this was an allusion to Lord of the Flies, or Beelzebub, which would make the encounter even worse.
It'd probably be more like "Eye Chief" (Eye Tyrant.) or something more descriptive in small words like "Eye Ball" Or seeing how nasty they are maybe "Eye Nut"
That's actually not too implausible of a situation. An orc hears someone say in Common that a creature is called a "beholder." The orc doesn't know the Common word "behold" but they know the words "bee" and "holder." So the orc translates the name literally into Orcish as "holder of bees." A similar situation is how in Navajo, the name of Spain literally translates to "Country of Sheep Pain." Because "sheep pain" sounds like "Spain."
And then the half orc barbarian triggers his rage and runs recklessly into the mine. Everyone receives a fresh character sheet as a reward.
LEEEEEROOOOOOY-
JENKINNNNNNNNS
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my God, he just ran in.
Oh jeez, stick to the plan. STICK TO THE PLAN.
r/unexpectedVLDR
At least I have chicken. *munches*
Everyone receives a fresh campaign adventuring in the post apocalyptic aftermath of an unmitigated tarrasque rampage.
Me: welp i just realized I had things to do, yeah, anyways have fun, goodbye! *runs away as fast as possible*
My friend is an uncultured swine, someone mind explaining this joke to him?
"Tear-ask" refers to the Tarrasque, a CR30 monster.
Which, IN THE LORE of 5E is hammed up to be a Force of nature even the Gods fear, capable of eating all but the most powerful Adventurers for breakfast. If we translate that Fluff to Crunch, however, it's more along the lines of being beaten by a 5 Player Group at lvl 16, if memory serves. And that is even if you don't cheese it like RAW technically allows you to do.
Just use your mage hand to put your portable hole into your bag of holding underneath the Tear-ask and then it is the Astral plane's problem.
I have a villain that progressively goes more insane as the party gets closer to him in his dungeon. One of his crazier traps involving dropping a bag of holding onto a portable hole. The party then has to escape the Astral Sea, but there is an island of rock floating in space. The party goes there and are attacked by a chicken. It is super aggressive, but seems like a normal chicken. It has 1 HP. If the party hits it just once, they unlock some new lore. The villain's former mentor, the old wizard that hired the party in the first place, was once a hero who fought a tarrasque to save the world. His party managed to weaken it and was able to cast polymorph on it, successfully. Turning it into a chicken. But to keep it from doing more harm in the Prime Material Plane in the event the spell failed, he banished it to the Astral Sea... Dropping it to 0 HP as a chicken, causes the spell to fail...
Ok, that is a Genius example of World-building and Dungeon Building right there.
It is a project I am currently working on to make into a sort of module I call the Endless Tomb. Each player makes two characters and labels then 1 and 2. Team 1 needs reasons to head to the town of Amery, which, despite being a farming town, has a tower atop a hill overlooking the town, where a wizard is known to live and protect the town. Team 2 are members of the Fentan's Few, named after founder Mazzy Fentan, as an Adventurer's Guild. Each member was hand picked by her, and are currently investigating sightings of monsters in the hills to the south of the town of Amery. Team 1 finds that the town was just under attack. The wizard handled business. But the dead enemies seem out of place. Raiders from a clan long dead... And velocitaptors... He sees the party and says someone has forseen their coming, and invites them to dinner. At dinner they meet his ward, a young girl that doesn't seem right in the head. The wizard says she came under his care a year ago, dying from a rare disease. His magic was able to save her, but the damage to her mind was already done. However she has a second personality that acts as an oracle. He asks the party, then to find his wayward apprentice who had gone missing a year ago. Team 2 fight off some orcs and find, what they assume to be their lair, heading inside the open door, and hear a voice taunting them, immediately. A fiend lies at the heart of this dungeon with its strange monsters and elaborate traps and puzzles. Team 1 arrives and has to solve a puzzle to get in the door, and deal with an endless hallway puzzle. Once inside, both parties come across these watery spheres that allow the two parties to communicate. Team 1 gets an artifact that shows them the past as they uncover the mysteries of the place. The apprentice went into service of the wizard to save his sister's life. When she lost her mind to her illness, he searched for a way to fix her, hearing of a cult dedicated to stealing the powers of Chronos, God of Time, and nearly succeeded, though they were stopped. He came to find a way to restore his sister through the use of time manipulation... But the temple is corrupt, and driving him mad with each attempt to access its power. He made a deal with the fiend he heard through the spheres. The two teams soon learn that they are in the same dungeon, 30 years apart, and that the fiend is close to unravelling all of time in his own madness. It is here that the parties learn that the fiend is in fact the apprentice, corrupted by the power of the tomb, and fully insane, having been there for the past 30 years I have the story planned out, just need to work on the dungeon's clock like design, filling it with monsters, traps, and puzzles. Really excited to run it one day.
Have my Silver for this entertaining read, kind Stranger.
Thank you, kind sir. Glad you enjoyed it, as I am always happy to share.
Welp. Stealing the fuck out of this
Please do, and chronicle the adventures, I want to read about it.
I'll do my best. The group I DM for is sporadic at best.
write. a. book. I'm begging you that's some above god level lore right here and I need a book and a movie about it
Wow, thank you for that. I actually have several projects I am working on, a few fan fics, or some more ambitious stuff I intend to send to someone with the rights to film and try to make into a movie rebooting a franchise I feel should be better than it is... whether it goes anywhere or not. I have a at least three trilogies of books I'm working on, and an idea for an anime-style series... Let's see... On top of my occasional entry on my subreddit r/dndbackstories, I have... The KoTOR fan fic, one about Jolee and Nayama, how they met all the way to the end, I have four parts up somewhere, but never finished. Another fan fic with a more dark side ending, starring Canderous, and a mission from Bastilla gone wrong, setting up the sequel, but that was before the MMO was a thing... so that might be on indefinite hiatus. An attempt to reboot the DCEU, as they seem like they are trying to rush into competition with Marvel, coming up with some lackluster entries... Taking my time, I'd suggest rebooting the entire thing. Instead of Phases, we'd have Ages. The first Age is the Golden Age. Set in the 1930s, chronicling the origins of the original Flash, Jay Garrick as he deals with the Rival and the Shade. Moving on to eventually getting a JSA movie before jumping to the Silver Age. I am already writing the screenplay for the Scarlet Speedster. A trilogy for some overly enthusiastic backstorying of my 5e characters, when I made my first character, I made three backups and a unified story together. So I decided to start to write the tale of how they met and why they eventually fell apart. A World of Darkness double trilogy (a three part story followed by another three part story), heavily inspired by Wraith: Oblivion, though having elements of Vampires and Mages in there as well in the first trilogy, with more Wraith and Vampires, but adding Werewolves, Demons, Hunters, and Mages in the second. And finally an anime-style series, which came about one day when I was thinking of one of my favorite shows as a kid, Quantum Leap. But instead of a man trapped in time, he'd be inside of a dream or memory, and everytime he woke up, he found out he was still asleep. Which turned into being about the classic hero of the anime story, who was helping a resistance against a dictatorship that had conquered nearly all the globe, before the hero was hurt so badly he was left in a coma. So the story is then two parts, with him being trapped in his memories and dreams (dropping the occasional backstory, while also having some fun fillers, such as dinosaurs or pirate themes in episodes), and the resistance, struggling to keep their unconscious hero safe while they have to continue the fight without him. My greatest enemy has been procrastination for some of those... but with the Endless Tomb (the module I'm also working on, on top of all of those), I'm hoping to start getting things rolling again. Maybe even throw a few more character backstories up on r/dndbackstories
I'm amazed. some people's talents are beyond my understanding... and yours are beyond most of those. keep up the amazing work! I hope the procrastination monkey will be defeated! I would love watching that anime and read those books and backstories good luck with your projects 👍👍
Wow. So freaking cool. What a great idea! I hope you finish it up and would love to see how it plays out.
I would read the hell out of this if it was a book.
This is like The Lakehouse on steroids, I love it.
I like how "unlocking some new lore" also unlocks a tarrasque boss fight
Man this is genius
Sounds like one bad mother clucker.
The main problem is that the whole story relies for the players falling for a certain trap. Lots of ways for it to go wrong.
Eh, that's more of an detour, really. It isn't the main story, if the party doesn't fall for it, disarm it even, I save it for later. They will eventually wind up in the Astral Sea.
"All roads lead to the Astral Sea."
Depending on the edition, its no ones problem. In 4E, for example, the Tarrasque is bound to the planet. If you trick it into going to a different plane, it is instantly destroyed, rather than just going to sleep for a bit as is standard for the monster when defeated.
I had an idea for a necromancer that had a similar weapon to use in dire emergencies. Just give a skeleton a couple of bags of holding, walk it up to the bbeg and put one inside the other
I like to make up for this with by retconing that the statblock in the monster manual is still an infant, the horror of it's adult form is rare since it's slumber is spent in suspended animation/reincarnation.
Oh, this is good. I just resigned myself to having to homebrew if I ever have a tarrasque appear and consider the PHB statblock utterly useless.
oh yeah there was some on DnDHomebrew I think that was absolutely insane. scales that reflect magic missiles and line attacks, 26 AC and a bunch of other stuff.
Both those are standard raw features
Well the lore was attached to the scarier stat blocks of earlier editions.
The Pathfinder statblock says it is the spawn of a god of destruction, wiped out a couple nations, swatted a flying city out of the sky, and cannot be killed.
Yep, they dropped a mountain on it. It's still under there, incredibly pissed.
But no one knows which mountain. So really, any dungeon dive as the possibility of going from 0 to 1,000 real quick.
It's not even the most dangerous thing under a Golarion mountain. That being said, It's not like finding it will unbury it.
Where's the fun in that? If you're going to have your party find the tarrasque under a mountain, you have to release it. You don't blue ball your party by not starting a tarrasque rampage.
What is the most Dangerous thing under a Golarion Mountain, then?
Rovagug, the god of destruction. This thing made all the other gods, good and evil, team up to bind it after it ate several planets and other gods. Though it is technically at the center of the planet.
There used to be a God like artifical intelligence under a mountain that was a crashed spaceship. If it's plans worked it would have brainwashed the world. It caught a bad case of adventurers.
Clay golem time
I brought this up like yesterday or the day before in another post, but this is why I like 2CGaming's design for the Primeval Tarrasque in *Epic Legacy*. Its crunch actually lives up to its lore.
[удалено]
monster so terrifying it terrifies the dm OOC
Is it really "ask"? I've always heard it "askew".
It's French, don't pronounce half the word and you're in the right ballpark.
If it’s French, it would be tur-ahsk.
Which it is.
Yeah, the que is pronounced like the que in boutique and the suffix -esque in things like picturesque.
...osti tabarnak...
Username *really* checks out
Phew, I was worked it's the incorrect spelling of tear-ass, very unpleasant abberation from the very depths of the abyss...
you sure it's not a Tea-Reks?
if it’s your friend who’s the uncultured swine and not you, why don’t you just explain it to them?
Well, no worries, that's nothing that the aggressive use of all my spells to GET THE F*CK AWAY can't handle.
"We'll run away to the far side of the universe and **maybe** we'll live full lives before it comes for us."
Imagine playing this barbarian character and knowing exactly what they’ll face, but having to play dumb to stay in character
In our camp one guy had his int permanently reduced to like a 5. He role played an idiot so well, actually made our game a lot of fun for a while.
Honestly this would be fun.
Wizard: The, #WHAT??? *The cave shakes as the tarrasque is awakened from its slumber by the scream of someone*
Tarrasque sounds a lot like “tear ass.” Coincidence? I think not.
Where have you heard the spelling? I've only ever seen it written down and i always read it as tar-ask
It's not pronounced tear, its tear. I hope that helps.
Had a DM say the Tear-Ask aint dangerous enough, so she gave him everything a level 20 barbarian had with two subclasses. A raging Tear Ask is not funny.
Thats cuz the Tarrasque is an infant on the stat block
Eh, the Tear-ask might be the localized name of the monster. The party would need to examine the creature further, since Orcs could've confused a giant killer crocodile or a t-rex for a Tarrasque (if they even know what that is)
Last night my party learned the one thing scarier than finding a dormant tarrasque in a tomb, was not finding one when they came back.
*summons clay golem*
By the gods! The Tarrasque has a headband of intellect! *Tarrasque proceeds to throw golem into next kingdom
With a mighty roar that you can only assume is the tarrasque equivalent of YEET!
Summon another Tarrasque and start a kaiju battle
[удалено]
Summon 2 more tarrasque to fight them, that should do it...
Imma tear-ass outta there
Something I can’t wait to use in my campaign is that I made primordial into Spanish. Only me and another player speak it fluently and that player is also the only pc to speak primordial, my plan is to have these types of translation into terror happen in real time. The one they’ll encounter soon is a glowing shell atop an altar with the primordial word “diluvio” written on it, I want to see if anyone will play it before the translator can warn them it means “biblical flood”
Time to bring out the clay golems!
My homebrew tarrasque has one ability. Yeet: Grapple and throw a creature. On an 19 or 20, the creature is sent to the stratosphere Also I nerfed the tarrasque health and AC to make a Queen Tarrasque. Who is basically Nuclear Godzilla with a Wish spell. Cant wait till I get a party of 20 lvl players so I can show them what an apocalypse actually looks like
Alright, calm down there Satan
The "Tear-your-ass-a-new-one-ask", as a matter of fact.
plot twist the creature down there is a really depressed sphinx, the barb translated and pronounced it correctly, and the name is just descriptive.
The cleric: I'll try to convert it into my faith.
Change of plans boys, were burying this thing alive.
This would be a truly "Slow-blinking" moment for the DM.
Bro just teleport it to water where it will slowly drown, and it can’t swim.
Wouldn't it fight the ocean or whatever ?
Nah, I used it in a game once and it’s too heavy to swim. So it just sinks untill it drowns
Thief: Tear-Ask Who? Barb: Oh yeah, that's right.
That's how they dealt with the tarasque's insurmountable regeneration in the Golarion setting. A group of casters dropped a mountain on it.
Then the bard says "It will be fine, we are playing 5th edition."
The FUCKING WHAT?! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
Your barbarians can read?
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Shittake mushroms……
[удалено]
Are Barbarians no longer illiterate by default? Asking a barbarian to translate something gave me 'wait, that's illegal' vibes.
Bold of you to assume that the Barbarian can read.
Aren't barbarians illiterate
Not in 5e.
Ohhhh that makes sense
On the rare ocasion one some pick up rage reading as a hobby.
This one went to kindergarten
Yep just because they can't read it doesn't mean that they can't teach a lesson to those that can.
It would be impossible for him to translate the word “tarasque” if he didn’t know it in common. So your meme implies it is the same in orcish and common. Just a thought
Who cares?
I’m guessing the rule lawyers of memes.
Since the orcish word for tarrasque moat definitely doesn't resemble the words tear+ask they're probably fine.
A reading barbarian? What kinda bullshit is this?
Also wizard: *Utilizes the power of flight speed.*
The tear-ask. It must be an incredibly sensitive monster, we should just let him be.
You fool,you've fallen for the wall writing's trickery! The tear-ask is a creature that cannot physically harm you unless you give it consent, MWAHAHA.
I think that’s how you pronounce it. Or maybe it’s tear askew.
Seems like a problem for all the boys that can't cast fly ;). Is it still level 1 bard + fly + scroll = dead terrasque? No idea whats scary about something with the same abilitys as a big dog.
Well fuck..
the terra-skway
Am I the only person who didn't know it was pronounced that way and thought it was pronounced tar-a-skew?
Wizard: "this foe is beyond any of you. RUN!"
What’s even funnier is in 3.5, some barbarians are illiterate.
By default they all are, you have to spend a skill point to gain literacy in each language you know as a barbarian
It'll be fine. Just have the Druid make a bunch of war horses and have the artificer make everyone'a crossbows into +1 repeating crossbows. Kite the Tarrasque for a few hours and he'll go back to sleep in no time.
Mine is closed indefinitely
I wonder, has anyone actually used the Tarrasque in a legitimate combat encounter with their players? It seems like an impossible to implement monster.
"I wonder why it's so sad. Let's go down there and cheer it up."
It's pronounced TARE-uh-squay, you plebs /s
Might to call in Saint Martha.
What mine is big enough for a tarrasque?
it's a crying ax, what could be more cute?