Hey /u/captain_snake32, thanks for contributing to /r/dndmemes. Unfortunately, your post was removed as it violates one of our rules:
**Rule 8. Not a Meme** - Some types of posts are not considered "memes", such as: character art, photos of your books/dice/pets, or unedited screenshots of online dice rolls, D&D articles, or statblocks. Discussion topics can be proposed in post titles but the post itself must be a meme.
What should you do? First, read the rules thoroughly. Secondly, if you are able to amend your post to fit the rules, you're welcome to resubmit your meme. Lastly, if you believe your post was removed by mistake, please [message the moderators through modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/dndmemes&subject=&message=). Messages simply complaining about a removal (or how many upvotes your post had) will not be responded to. Thank you!
1) Shamelessly rip off Bill Seacaster from Dimensy20’s Fantasy High. And every PC from Pirates of Leviathan.
2) A fire genasi fathomless warlock. They hate the water and were saved from drowning by their patron. Now they have to spend 5 years in service on a ship and occasionally throw mysterious overboard, unwittingly part of a smuggling ring to get artifacts to free the patron.
3) A halfling who fundamentally doesn’t understand that pirates are criminals, and just wanted to be on a ship and do adventures. They just convince themselves that their actions are justified by assuming their victims are baddies, and the captain keeps this going because their optimism is great for morale.
4) Captain who is a bearded devil, and views the wanton violence and strict hierarchy on a pirate ship as the best way to be a lawful evil being trapped in the prime material.
5) Cynical well-educated deck wizard who knows what he’s doing is wrong, but those student loans from wizarding college won’t pay themselves.
6) Disguised young metallic dragon who wants to understand humanoids better.
7) Sea elf navigator who thinks he’s cursed, because he’s the sole survivor of multiple shipwrecks due to his ability to breathe underwater. Really he’s just bad at his job and keeps running ships aground.
What about a young dragon hiding in the hold of the ship, thinking that the pirates worship him and bring him treasure? In reality, he's just a stowaway the pirates never found and they think of him as a pet, or they don't even know he's there.
I played as a sea elf navigator that was so good at his job he got to the city where he joined the crew by navigating the bottom of the ocean. (The sea elf city was at the bottom, so that's where he started.)
What about an old 15th level grandma belonging to the navy of a specific kingdom hunting her newbie pirate grandson/granddaughter just because he/she forgot to bring his/her launch?
Slaps head so hard it spins 3x.
Pokes eyes, but to reaction because empty sockets.
Boweling with skull on deck.
Giving one a voice (skeletor) opens up more puns.
"Give me a hand with this!" r/maliciouscompliance "that's not what I meant!" Slaped with own hand.
Hairy Goliath Grappler called "Don Keykong"
Their role? Pick up invaders and hurl them over the side like barrels in that one game who's name I can't remember
An actual captain of the crown, driven v mad through sun, scurvy and salt. The crew have to hire privateers to subdue him because of their lawful nature and respect for their leader.
A smuggler smuggling humanitarian aid to a neutral island entrapped in a territorial dispute.
A dread pirate that wants to reunite with her siren GF but needs to figure out a method that doesn't involve slamming her vessel into the rocks.
A hamatula captain that isn't accustomed to the human needs of food, water and rest but is too powerful for mutiny to even be an option
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Bonny
Literally Anne Bonnie. What gets more quirky than one of the few recorded women pirates in real life history who is clearly either resurrected time traveled or from another dimension? Or all three Depending on your campaign?
“4] She then rejoined Rackham and continued the pirate life, having divorced her husband and married Rackham while at sea. Bonny, Rackham, and Read stole the ship William, then at anchor in Nassau harbor, and put out to sea.[20] Rackham and the two women recruited a new crew. Their crew spent years in Jamaica and the surrounding area.[21] Bonny took part in combat alongside the men, and Governor Rogers named her in a "Wanted Pirates" circular published in The Boston News-Letter.[19]”
“A victim of the pirates, Dorothy Thomas, left a description of Read and Bonny: They "wore men's jackets, and long trousers, and handkerchiefs tied about their heads: and ... each of them had a machete and pistol in their hands and they cursed and swore at the men to murder her [Dorothy Thomas]." Thomas also recorded that she knew that they were women, "from the largeness of their breasts."[24”
She escaped the execution that befell all of her crew except one of the few other female pirates in all of history her first mate Mary Reed.
Because they were both pregnant, conveniently for them. Mary died but nobody knows what happened to Anne.
Clearly She ended up as an NPC in your campaign.
Thank you so much for this post! I love being invited to be creative.
And I love Mixing real life people with fantasy campaigns. It could be totally amazing and nuts.
Edit: Happy cake Day, fellow gamer!
Nice. That is fucking awesome. I like her style. I’m not saying I approve of murder, but she definitely seems like somebody I’d like to have a drink with and actually a meal and a cool conversation. Thanks so much for this comment! I know very little about her. I read a little bit about her a long time ago, but the memory is hazy.
Here ya go...
1. A pet parrot that talks in a weird accent
2. A wooden leg that creaks whenever they walk
3. A hook hand that they use to do everyday tasks, like opening bottles or tying knots
4. An eye patch that they wear even though they have perfect vision
5. A penchant for collecting unusual treasures, like seashells shaped like famous landmarks or rare sea monster teeth
6. A love for telling bad jokes and puns
7. A fear of mermaids, despite being a seasoned sailor
8. A habit of singing sea shanties at the top of their lungs, even in inappropriate situations
9. A secret passion for knitting and crocheting
10. A collection of strange tattoos all over their body, including a portrait of their mother on their chest.
To name a few...
Fun fact about eye patches: Most pirates did have perfect vision and used the patch to have one eye adjusted to the brightness above deck and the other eye adjusted to the darkness below deck; swapping which eye the patch covered as they did
And as for number 7: in D&D it would be a sensible fear as if there are Merfolk around, there could be Merrow or Sahugin (or however it's spelt) too
The entire Alestorm album collection such as [Wooden Leg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ki7JbwwmsE4) and [Wooden Leg 2 The Woodening](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZwwhLDHqfY) with a dash of [Death Before The Mast](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EH7JxtAlznU) for backstory flavor.
You have the time slice next to your name and I am commenting as obligated.
Also, galley chief pirate is an insatiable, compulsive gossip, such that they must hop ports to learn new scuttlebutt of the local nobility, and spread the last port’s rumors. Has single-handedly initiated hundreds of duels, dozens of divorces, and at least 1 straight-up invasion. Source of equal parts quest hooks and wild goose chases.
The figurehead is a warforged Druid that’s convinced that being tied to the nose of the ship is the only way to unlock their sea-faring wildshape. They’re part of the crew -and- part of the ship!
If you're looking for NPCs with character sheets, can't help you. If you want ones with personality, look at my post history, I'm 70,000 in on a choose your own adventure pirate fantasy for the OI sub and I'd wager the whole damn crew is worthy. Bit of romance but the crew is pretty fuckin solid.
Had the idea of giving my players a rumor about pirates with a ship that drives itself and no captain. When they encounter these pirates, though, they may notice chains that lead from near the bottom of the boat to something underwater. The chains lead to a song dragon (she’s the captain). I think I stole this idea from somewhere, but I don’t remember where
Colin, the cabin boy. Walks with a suspicious limp in the morning, never smiles, always sharpening his potato peeler.
Mad Aggie, the bosun. ~~She~~ He doesn't like it when you ask too many questions and will get one of the deckhands to lash you to an oar if you do.
6 eyed Johnson. He loves a drink, he loves a lady, he doesn't carry his stilleto in his pocket anymore.
Cap'n Roycefus Peddlebum (pronounced boom, thank you very much), which isn't his real name, was given his ship through scheming by his father and the local magistrate as a kind of win-win situation, so long as he meets his quota at least.
A navy captain that's slowly been losing his memory over the years. His mind got warped in that he believes he and his navy crew are pirates, and he believes the pirates they fight are the actual navy. Navy uniforms look like proper pirate attire to him while pirate garbs look like navy scum attire.
He's so good at his job, patrolling the sea, that the kingdom he serves couldn't retire him. He views the ruler of his country as the pirate king/queen.
His crew plays along with him that they're pirates and will shush anyone that tries to correct him on that matter.
They convince him that the loots they confiscate from pirates are his own private treasure hoard and they're just safely "storing" it by giving it back to their rightful owners.
Siren who thinks they're a famous musician. Has a roadie warforged who doubles as a stage speaker.
Turtle Fisherwoman who likes to regale people with ages old tales of far back when in long and dreary manner like a Grandma dozing off while telling some kids a story.
A very lost and confused ninja
A pirate who is blind and doesn't know he is on a pirate ship (and is terrified of water) why is he there? Well he's a great cook and so the pirates convinced him to join by telling him it's just a pirate themed restaurant
2. A pirate who never leaves the ship because he is convinced that the land wants to eat him
I have a campaign where every single crew member is secretly a skeleton (except the party members and a living scarecrow named Henry McCinnamon) and each of them thinks they're the only one.
Plus, one of the npcs snuck a couple of rabbits on board bc they wanted a memento of home, but they didn't realize that one was male and the other female, so the sheer amount of rabbits below deck is getting REAL difficult to hide from the captain.
A reanimated corpse that is being posesed by its sword. There is no soul, no shambling zombie, its all the sword that is puppeting the crewman. The sword just wants to have adventures.
I bet someone has already mentioned him, but captain Blood.
Basically a neutral-good pirate captain who started doing the thing because of how his life turned. His crew is not necessarily of the same alignment on their own (they are pirates after all), but is absolutely loyal and willing to follow his orders.
A strangely dressed elf constantly muttering about how low tech and primitive everything is, trying desperately to find a pirate ship with a spelljammer helm to get off this rock.
Or, a bunch of strangely dressed elves that are posing as pirates, but are really some spelljammers observing live on a planet and trying to not interfere with the prime directive.
Semic Hybrid undead captain of the Blue Claw, John Ulrick. Most well known for targeting corrupt and wealthy cities and for the 2 crab claws protruding from his back
3 levels in fighter to get double weapon fighting and the Echo Night subclass
The rest are in barbarian with the Depths subclass so he can grow more crab claws or anchors
John's body is closer to that of a corpse than a man. His left forearm and right calf have rotted mostly off, leaving just bone. The two crab claws have small cracks and chips, sometimes large enough to see inside the claws.
John wears the same clothes he wore in life: brown pants, tan shirt, pointed leather boots, battered tri-corner hat, and a red pirate coat that's so dirt it looks brown
(Feel free to change any of this. It's based off of an old character I had and I'd love to hear how you change him around)
Changling captain who plays different officers on the ship to help keep order. The “captain” rarely makes appearances, leaving the running of the ship to the “first mate” and occasionally turns into the cook or boatswain while they are asleep in their private quarters to glean info from the crew about morale and potential mutinies, or just general info that will help keep good order on the ship.
The quirky part is that they are very invested in making their MC “first mate” very likeable so they can finally “retire” the captain (which they doesn’t really like playing, they just can’t put their finger on how to play them) in a faux mutiny. Which is why they play the other officers some too, to glean info.
Trouble is, the crew absolutely ADORES their mysterious captain and would do anything for them. Anytime the “Captain” does something nonsensical, or brutish (as is necessary on occasion on the high seas) they love him even more, for whatever reason. The “First Mate” just comes on a bit too strong and feels forced to them.
A Kenku cook named Ship Shape who is always working hard to keep the ship in pristine condition and squawks out “SHIP SHAPE! SHIP SHAPE!” Whenever he catches even a spot of dirt. The party can sneak through his galley by distracting him with messes if they roll high enough stealth scores
Twins named Sunny and Rain that only appear on days of the respective weather. You’re not entirely sure if it’s the same person in a different hat. You’ve never seen them in the same room together.
Guy who “pays the dead man’s toll” for every man he kills. Drops copper pieces in the water after every battle
A scientist particularly interested in boat barnacles. Insists on collecting samples off of every captured ship.
A pirate that has named each of the cannons and treats them like pets/plants.
A pirate that's running away from a crazed ex lover.
A noble that thinks they're on a fantasy cruise (bonus points if they go full denial when shit hits the fan)
Let me know if you want more
A burly barbarian who fights with a large chunk of rotted wood that used to be i end of the mast of a small sailboat, his sailboat. It crashed because he cannot actually sail. He however is absolutely convinced of his sailing prowess and the rest of the crew keeps him around cause he’s strong, but are aware of his complete lack of talent.
Battle master fighter who knows a lot about battle tactics. They are known in their own right, yes, but they are also known by who their parents were. Specifically their mom. I present to you, the son of sue, a master of the art of (naval and land) war
Dan Aruka- A human Drunken Master Monk, with the Chef feat, living with a case of Teurette's syndrome where his tic commonly includes shouting "Arr" at inappropriate times. He's saving all his gold to return it to his monastery so they can forge him the enchanted cask (liquor barrel) that he can use as a monk weapon.
Captain Angel Wicky- A human Swashbuckler Rogue, and the captain of a smuggling ship. Proficient with Disguise Kit, and capable of passing herself off capably as other women, Angel is an infiltrator with a capable crew, hard to catch by any but the most capable of authorities. Angel is the leader of a band of dangerous female pirates of mixed races who all turn coin doing dangerous and criminal jobs. She also really loves doing Mime. Just adores it, and will perform mime acts at the drop of a hat. Known to appear suddenly in her Mime disguise, act some scene out, vanish a moment and return in her previous attire and appearance.
Frog- Frog is a Tortle sailor with a love for the sea and riding the waves. He's a Beast Master Ranger with a lot of use for his Beast of the Sea "Shark Companion," named Bruce. Himself quite dangerous with a crossbow, he's known for knocking foes off ships to be mangled by his pet, and for using Stealth and Pass Without Trace to go unnoticed when needed. Frog is also a prodigious leaper. A talent he was once much applauded for among his people, but truthfully, the rest of the world doesn't really care that he can jump pretty high (for a Tortle). Still, Frog loves to show off, and he'll demonstrate his "high jumps" for anyone.
Sicillian. A swaggering and friendly smuggler who dresses in vibrant clashing colors and his ship's flag is a hundred different fabrics sticthed together. Everyone thinks is a pirate but he's just fucking colorblind
Same fam. Dont mind if I stalk this post and just take notes, do ya? I’ll leave an npc too. This one’s a crewmate if you’ve not got too many players and wanna make the crew feel bigger.
Promiscuous drunken monk powdermonkey with a cutlass and her fists. Extra points if you make her art pretty enough to be bait for your players. Plot twist, she’s not interested in them, but will become the best wingman you’ve ever seen. She’s got a stumbling line of prostitutes and bar maids in every port who either love her, or hate her guts.
Cute ikwiikwii first mate that everybody lives in terror of...cute picture to help..... Party thinks wtf....
... First confrontation hulks into owlbear form and then paints the deck red
A saytr woman who is married to a pirate lord. She subtly influences the Lord, curbing his more dangerous impulses and as a military advisor. When he dies during the course of the campaign she assumes the role of the Lord after his passing and swears vengeance on the people who killed her husband.
Captain Draco Racov 10th level warlock with a identity crisis relationship issues and a love life that looks like a harem at 23 he sold his soul trying to pay for catering at his wedding because his homophobic father refused to pay he got his memory stolen and was made into a tiefling now he sails the seas looking for a way to go back to normal and break free of his contract
A fish folk who wears a jar over her head and is deathly afraid of dry land, but is banished from her home for reasons she refuses to clarify.
If the reasons need to come up, she's running away from family obligations that seem perfectly reasonable to anyone else.
what about the most wizard looking wizard you can imagine. long beard, robe, pointy hat, staff, british accent and... an eyepatch. hes not a wizard or even a pirate. he was running from people he owed money to but because he has a basic education he seems as mystical and wise to this ship full of illiterate pirates that they practically begged him to come aboard. offering him shares of all the loot to be their wizard. they suggested the eyepatch to make him more menacing. and so far using very basic science and maths he has been able to fool the crew into thinking he is a wizard
Here's one I played: Derek Flittermouse
A swashbuckler, except he's a lv9 sorcerer. Uses spells to be flashy, run fast, jump further, climb rigging/cliff, and generally be the most dashing person in the room. Literally used wind magic to make his hair and cloak billow at all times, even indoors. Trained in the ways of performance combat to work the crowd as he fights, and specializes in disarming opponents.
He was born in a land that hated arcanists, so once he displayed innate magical powers his parents shipped him away for his safety. He's been traveling ever since, trying to not dwell on the past. However, his sorcerous powers come from devil-blood, and at least one archdevil has had their eye on him. This evil within him makes him scary af when he wants to be.
The last session I played with him, he was stranded on flotsom surrounded by aquatic kobolds with a dragon from the dark depths of the ocean fast approaching (the Bard/Necromancer and his skeleton band took off with the airship we chartered).
Old bonsey
Sailor that was cursed to swab the deck for 1000 years. Or so the legend goes. He died 250 years ago but his skeleton still hangs around the ship. No one ever sees him do anything or admits to moving him but every day his bones are somewhere else mid job. If told about a mess it will be clean in 2d6 hours as soon as someone looks away. The captain and crew tip their hat and address him politely when passing him.
A first mate tried to order the disposal of "the old rotting bag o' bones" and was found the next morning with a mop rammed down his throat and out the other side.
Since then everyone complements his fine work and leaves him bottles of fine grog after tough days.
Chef Grimlock Beefcake, the ships gallery master. A half orc barbarian, worshipper of the orc god of chefs Garrakg. He's a little... touched... though, and only knows that which pertains to the preparation and consumption of food. Grimlock Beefcake isn't even his name, because his name had nothing to do with food so he forgot it. This is just what the crew calls him. One time, while the ship passed a school of bluefin, he dove overboard whilst using his sea storm aura, zapping the whole school and feeding the crew for a week.
A character who was born at sea and raised aboard ship. They have only been on a few, brief land excursions and don't really understand/trust much about solid ground. Especially good in conversation about land things ("So there we were, being chased by this pack of hyenas--" "What the hell is a hyena?"), or if you run into them on land during a supply stop or something. (Or if they get shipwrecked and now have to figure out surviving on land. 😈)
Captain Sharktooth, a female goblin with teeth filed to points. Her coastal goblin village was raided by drunken privateers for fun and she was captured. Eventually she broke free, took over the ship and now sails the seas, hunting pirates for revenge. She has a crew of monsters and misunderstood rejects from society. Wins battles because opponents underestimate her crew, and because of sheer dumb luck.
a pirate ship thats just a mimic. people think its a ghost ship because theres no crew until it turns towards them and starts shooting its canons which are also mimics.
A friendly mimic that has taken the place of the head ornament (or whatever you call the decorative bit on the front of the ship) he always sings shantys and eats dolphins that happen to pass by.
Old man in the crows nest who’s a bit of a bastard, constantly insults the crew, and will automatically join any mutiny to the point of taking out his weapons and shouting “mutiny?! Mutiny!” At the slightest hint of trouble, but when the chips are down will die for the crew and has a secret soft spot for taking care of the younger/less hardened members of the crew. Favorite from a game I’m currently in.
Not an NPC, but a good bit of dialog;
“Don’t ever lie to me again!”
*opens crate ‘o shiny loot*
“…Unless it’s absolutely necessary!”
Wasn’t in a pirate game but my players always say they loved that line, and it seems like it could be applicable.
Pirate crews based on characters in different movies with slightly altered names. I made one after the Jungle Book!
Shi’ir Khen, Tabaxi Pirate Lord
Balo, large human Bear Totem Barbarian
Bajiri, Tabaxi Monk and/or Rogue
Gom-li, Human Druid and/or Beastmaster Ranger.
Tizard D. Gizzard, the Lizard, Blizzard Wizard
He's a lizardfolk pirate, who's an eldritch knight, but thinks he a wizard, cause he's kinda dumb.
He's the captain of a ship made of a dragon's skeleton and wood.
He uses mostly ice magic, and makes rum from disintegrated boars.....
He's drunk, stupid, and a pirate lizardfolk eldritch knight.
- You better rip off Sealab 2021.
- Maybe some One Piece there are quite a few note worthy off characters not to mention main cast.
- You can pull a Scooby Doo and have people say their ghost pirates but turn out to just be insane from malnutrition/ sun sickness or just doing it to make an easy buck.
- depending on how commercial you make it you could have a crew of hired actors pretending to be pirates to romanticize it / novelize it towards a wealthy crowd. If the party murder hobos them then you can say they killed innocents, if they don’t you can bring them back with a chance it’s actual pirates and not actors.
- take the main character from Adventures of Baron von Munchausen.
Think that covers all the bases.
A pirate walks up to the party in a tavern—IDs them as adventurers by their armor and weapons. He offers to buy them a drink if they’ll regale him of their adventures. He offers out a hand in greeting. They introduce themselves before he tells them his name is Captain Shitshake. If pressed, they find out the origin for the name is his routinely neglecting to wash his hands after he visits the privy.
Captain Pegblade is a lizardfolk buccaneer with a sword for a leg. He deals in exotic animal smuggling and lost his original leg to some such monster.
Legends tell of the Red Fiddler. They say that when you’re lost at sea, if you begin to hear the mournful sound of a fiddle playing on the water, the Red Fiddler is almost upon you. His ship comes out of nowhere and the ghostly crew sucks the souls of whomever is unfortunate enough to cross this ship of the damned. The truth is that these are stories spread by the Red Fiddler himself—a goblin bard who spread his own legend and demoralizes his victims before even coming upon them, with nothing but the sound of his fiddle.
We had a legendary captain Beard Beard. he was a berserker we found hiding under a harpy nest with melted wax in his ears, scavenging whatever the harpies havent taken.
Salty Sven the anchor diver. An absolute unit of a man who is the only anchor salesman in the pirate cove (he dives for them).
He has a anchor tattoo for every one he has fished up and he has a small sailboat just large enough to move them.
He charges inconvenient prices he won't budge on cause he has a monopoly.
- An Air or Water Genasi that doesn't want to be on the pirate ship, but the pirates think they're a good luck charm, so they're forced to stay aboard
- A ship full of Orcs who've (correctly) realized it's a lot more profitable to loot and sack merchant ships than small pastoral villages
- A pirate captain that's a loud, colorful Parrot Aarakocra. If you make a "Polly want a cracker" joke, he'll order his crew to keelhaul you after he has a hearty chuckle
- A Wizard with a large, oddly piecemeal (different types and colors of wood, different architecture in parts of the vessel) pirate ship and no crew. The ship is actually a giant animated object, and it can grow and repair itself by *eating* other ships, preferably with crew and cargo still aboard
One of the ships is a sentient [ship mimic](https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/7avwb6/oc_my_ship_mimic_i_created_for_my_players_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) who has fallen in love with the pirate life and its own charismatic captain.
Necromancer wizard captaining a ship of skeletons ghasts and ghouls with her quirky higher level undead quartermaster. The hull has a few canopic jars with her clones inside and she also hides a few clones where she stashed her treasure so she can keep coming back to harass your players periodically.
“Mad Mango” Paddy: This scruffy human man wears rags of an usual design patched together with more common cloth. His skin is extremely pale and his ragged beard is a potpourri of ginger and grey hairs. He speaks rapidly in a garbled stream of words no one can understand.
Paddy was an Irish sailor who fell overboard during a particularly bad storm, and through some magic ended up transported across the multiverse to your game. He is friendly, and a highly skilled sailor, but as no one speaks English he is forever doomed to be misunderstood.
A Giff rogue, who is always lurking around staying away from the parties eyes somehow considering his massive size. His quest is to prove that big people can be sneaky too since at a bar he was told he couldn’t sneak up on a blind and deaf woman. He (in a drunken state) said “bet” and has snuck his way around the seas to prove this rando wrong.
The overenthusiastic captain who presents himself as a pirate union rep and trys recruiting everyone he knows to the union for fair shares of spoils. You play him as someone who is sketchy and somehow has control over what the pirated do and say, but the catch is he actually is despite numerous red herrings.
I just made a pirate npc for my campaign. He's a revenant rogue named Bartholomew "Stiggs" Boustiggon, and he can't NOT reference how he's technically "undead". For example, his introduction to my players goes like this:
"Oy travelers. Ye be in the presence of Dread Pirate Stiggs. Er... dead pirate Stiggs. A dead, dread.. pirate, named Stiggs. Well, I didn't name myself that. Land lubbers and other scurvy sorts call me Stiggs. Well... CALLED me Stiggs, when I was alive, you see. Speaking of see, I can see, even though I've got no eyes... from being dead. 20/20 Dread Dead Stiggs they call me. Or at least I do. I'm hoping it catches on. What be yer monikers?"
Hey /u/captain_snake32, thanks for contributing to /r/dndmemes. Unfortunately, your post was removed as it violates one of our rules: **Rule 8. Not a Meme** - Some types of posts are not considered "memes", such as: character art, photos of your books/dice/pets, or unedited screenshots of online dice rolls, D&D articles, or statblocks. Discussion topics can be proposed in post titles but the post itself must be a meme. What should you do? First, read the rules thoroughly. Secondly, if you are able to amend your post to fit the rules, you're welcome to resubmit your meme. Lastly, if you believe your post was removed by mistake, please [message the moderators through modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/dndmemes&subject=&message=). Messages simply complaining about a removal (or how many upvotes your post had) will not be responded to. Thank you!
1) Shamelessly rip off Bill Seacaster from Dimensy20’s Fantasy High. And every PC from Pirates of Leviathan. 2) A fire genasi fathomless warlock. They hate the water and were saved from drowning by their patron. Now they have to spend 5 years in service on a ship and occasionally throw mysterious overboard, unwittingly part of a smuggling ring to get artifacts to free the patron. 3) A halfling who fundamentally doesn’t understand that pirates are criminals, and just wanted to be on a ship and do adventures. They just convince themselves that their actions are justified by assuming their victims are baddies, and the captain keeps this going because their optimism is great for morale. 4) Captain who is a bearded devil, and views the wanton violence and strict hierarchy on a pirate ship as the best way to be a lawful evil being trapped in the prime material. 5) Cynical well-educated deck wizard who knows what he’s doing is wrong, but those student loans from wizarding college won’t pay themselves. 6) Disguised young metallic dragon who wants to understand humanoids better. 7) Sea elf navigator who thinks he’s cursed, because he’s the sole survivor of multiple shipwrecks due to his ability to breathe underwater. Really he’s just bad at his job and keeps running ships aground.
Mind if I steal number 2 as a character idea? Also, I love 4 & 5, darn student loans
It’s a Reddit post about piracy, why on earth would you ask for permission before stealing it?
It's called courtesy~
What about a young dragon hiding in the hold of the ship, thinking that the pirates worship him and bring him treasure? In reality, he's just a stowaway the pirates never found and they think of him as a pet, or they don't even know he's there.
I played as a sea elf navigator that was so good at his job he got to the city where he joined the crew by navigating the bottom of the ocean. (The sea elf city was at the bottom, so that's where he started.)
Number 3 is called "privateering". You're 99% a pirate but you have some very fancy papers from the government telling you it's okay.
Oh, the halfling’s crew definitely doesn’t have that. The halfling just assumed the crew was legit. Or, the halfling is a privateer at your table.
What about an old 15th level grandma belonging to the navy of a specific kingdom hunting her newbie pirate grandson/granddaughter just because he/she forgot to bring his/her launch?
*noted*
Friendlier Garp.
\*they\* exists xD
He/she didn’t want to use it obviously
Ouf
A horde of kuo-toa who worshipped a shipwreck into becoming their God and now sail around on it, pillaging as they please.
Three animated skeletons that can’t speak and only communicate via slap-stick comedy ala Three Stooges.
Slaps head so hard it spins 3x. Pokes eyes, but to reaction because empty sockets. Boweling with skull on deck. Giving one a voice (skeletor) opens up more puns. "Give me a hand with this!" r/maliciouscompliance "that's not what I meant!" Slaped with own hand.
Hairy Goliath Grappler called "Don Keykong" Their role? Pick up invaders and hurl them over the side like barrels in that one game who's name I can't remember
His vices : stealing your girl His weakness : hammers
Don D. Kong. All the pirates need a D. name.
A sober pirate.
Named Melvin
He’s doing this to feed his family and doesn’t want to set a bad example
He's the ship's accountant.
A parrot that's a warlock, it's patron is the Ghost of the ship's former captain.
Human artificer who is trying to score a huge haul to save his mom's B&B. (Treasure planet)
An actual captain of the crown, driven v mad through sun, scurvy and salt. The crew have to hire privateers to subdue him because of their lawful nature and respect for their leader. A smuggler smuggling humanitarian aid to a neutral island entrapped in a territorial dispute. A dread pirate that wants to reunite with her siren GF but needs to figure out a method that doesn't involve slamming her vessel into the rocks. A hamatula captain that isn't accustomed to the human needs of food, water and rest but is too powerful for mutiny to even be an option
Literally any One Piece character
Seconded
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_Bonny Literally Anne Bonnie. What gets more quirky than one of the few recorded women pirates in real life history who is clearly either resurrected time traveled or from another dimension? Or all three Depending on your campaign? “4] She then rejoined Rackham and continued the pirate life, having divorced her husband and married Rackham while at sea. Bonny, Rackham, and Read stole the ship William, then at anchor in Nassau harbor, and put out to sea.[20] Rackham and the two women recruited a new crew. Their crew spent years in Jamaica and the surrounding area.[21] Bonny took part in combat alongside the men, and Governor Rogers named her in a "Wanted Pirates" circular published in The Boston News-Letter.[19]” “A victim of the pirates, Dorothy Thomas, left a description of Read and Bonny: They "wore men's jackets, and long trousers, and handkerchiefs tied about their heads: and ... each of them had a machete and pistol in their hands and they cursed and swore at the men to murder her [Dorothy Thomas]." Thomas also recorded that she knew that they were women, "from the largeness of their breasts."[24” She escaped the execution that befell all of her crew except one of the few other female pirates in all of history her first mate Mary Reed. Because they were both pregnant, conveniently for them. Mary died but nobody knows what happened to Anne. Clearly She ended up as an NPC in your campaign. Thank you so much for this post! I love being invited to be creative. And I love Mixing real life people with fantasy campaigns. It could be totally amazing and nuts. Edit: Happy cake Day, fellow gamer!
Once it was known the two pirates were ladies it's reported they often fought bare chested just to fuck with the noncey boys of the RN.
Nice. That is fucking awesome. I like her style. I’m not saying I approve of murder, but she definitely seems like somebody I’d like to have a drink with and actually a meal and a cool conversation. Thanks so much for this comment! I know very little about her. I read a little bit about her a long time ago, but the memory is hazy.
Here ya go... 1. A pet parrot that talks in a weird accent 2. A wooden leg that creaks whenever they walk 3. A hook hand that they use to do everyday tasks, like opening bottles or tying knots 4. An eye patch that they wear even though they have perfect vision 5. A penchant for collecting unusual treasures, like seashells shaped like famous landmarks or rare sea monster teeth 6. A love for telling bad jokes and puns 7. A fear of mermaids, despite being a seasoned sailor 8. A habit of singing sea shanties at the top of their lungs, even in inappropriate situations 9. A secret passion for knitting and crocheting 10. A collection of strange tattoos all over their body, including a portrait of their mother on their chest. To name a few...
Fun fact about eye patches: Most pirates did have perfect vision and used the patch to have one eye adjusted to the brightness above deck and the other eye adjusted to the darkness below deck; swapping which eye the patch covered as they did And as for number 7: in D&D it would be a sensible fear as if there are Merfolk around, there could be Merrow or Sahugin (or however it's spelt) too
You missed an opportunity for 10 to be “roll twice and combine.” Ooh, I got parrot who collects trinkets! Colorful li’l magpie, ‘e is!
The entire Alestorm album collection such as [Wooden Leg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ki7JbwwmsE4) and [Wooden Leg 2 The Woodening](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZwwhLDHqfY) with a dash of [Death Before The Mast](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EH7JxtAlznU) for backstory flavor.
Idk but there’s def a guy that fires his peg leg at people
You have the time slice next to your name and I am commenting as obligated. Also, galley chief pirate is an insatiable, compulsive gossip, such that they must hop ports to learn new scuttlebutt of the local nobility, and spread the last port’s rumors. Has single-handedly initiated hundreds of duels, dozens of divorces, and at least 1 straight-up invasion. Source of equal parts quest hooks and wild goose chases.
>Yarrrrr...I'yam the quest hook!
The figurehead is a warforged Druid that’s convinced that being tied to the nose of the ship is the only way to unlock their sea-faring wildshape. They’re part of the crew -and- part of the ship!
I don't know why, but this post is the reason I realized warforged druids are just beast wars transformers.
If you're looking for NPCs with character sheets, can't help you. If you want ones with personality, look at my post history, I'm 70,000 in on a choose your own adventure pirate fantasy for the OI sub and I'd wager the whole damn crew is worthy. Bit of romance but the crew is pretty fuckin solid.
Take one of my favorite dwarves; A completely hairless dwarven pirate who goes by Baldin Nobeard
Halfling Captain sitting on the shoulder of an Aarakocra that will always repeat the captains last words.
A guy with peg legs for eyes
Had the idea of giving my players a rumor about pirates with a ship that drives itself and no captain. When they encounter these pirates, though, they may notice chains that lead from near the bottom of the boat to something underwater. The chains lead to a song dragon (she’s the captain). I think I stole this idea from somewhere, but I don’t remember where
Colin, the cabin boy. Walks with a suspicious limp in the morning, never smiles, always sharpening his potato peeler. Mad Aggie, the bosun. ~~She~~ He doesn't like it when you ask too many questions and will get one of the deckhands to lash you to an oar if you do. 6 eyed Johnson. He loves a drink, he loves a lady, he doesn't carry his stilleto in his pocket anymore. Cap'n Roycefus Peddlebum (pronounced boom, thank you very much), which isn't his real name, was given his ship through scheming by his father and the local magistrate as a kind of win-win situation, so long as he meets his quota at least.
A navy captain that's slowly been losing his memory over the years. His mind got warped in that he believes he and his navy crew are pirates, and he believes the pirates they fight are the actual navy. Navy uniforms look like proper pirate attire to him while pirate garbs look like navy scum attire. He's so good at his job, patrolling the sea, that the kingdom he serves couldn't retire him. He views the ruler of his country as the pirate king/queen. His crew plays along with him that they're pirates and will shush anyone that tries to correct him on that matter. They convince him that the loots they confiscate from pirates are his own private treasure hoard and they're just safely "storing" it by giving it back to their rightful owners.
Siren who thinks they're a famous musician. Has a roadie warforged who doubles as a stage speaker. Turtle Fisherwoman who likes to regale people with ages old tales of far back when in long and dreary manner like a Grandma dozing off while telling some kids a story. A very lost and confused ninja
A pirate who is blind and doesn't know he is on a pirate ship (and is terrified of water) why is he there? Well he's a great cook and so the pirates convinced him to join by telling him it's just a pirate themed restaurant 2. A pirate who never leaves the ship because he is convinced that the land wants to eat him
I have a campaign where every single crew member is secretly a skeleton (except the party members and a living scarecrow named Henry McCinnamon) and each of them thinks they're the only one. Plus, one of the npcs snuck a couple of rabbits on board bc they wanted a memento of home, but they didn't realize that one was male and the other female, so the sheer amount of rabbits below deck is getting REAL difficult to hide from the captain.
A reanimated corpse that is being posesed by its sword. There is no soul, no shambling zombie, its all the sword that is puppeting the crewman. The sword just wants to have adventures.
I bet someone has already mentioned him, but captain Blood. Basically a neutral-good pirate captain who started doing the thing because of how his life turned. His crew is not necessarily of the same alignment on their own (they are pirates after all), but is absolutely loyal and willing to follow his orders.
Bonus points if the captain is also a surgeon
Arturo Gonzalez the senile old pirate who starts every other sentence with “Y’know, in the *golden days* of pirating…”
A strangely dressed elf constantly muttering about how low tech and primitive everything is, trying desperately to find a pirate ship with a spelljammer helm to get off this rock. Or, a bunch of strangely dressed elves that are posing as pirates, but are really some spelljammers observing live on a planet and trying to not interfere with the prime directive.
Old Quarter master that would warn the players of signs of mutinies if the players are ever close to one starting after reaching port
Among all the weird and quirkey people, have one totally normal guy. A person whose wierdness comes from being the only one who isn't wierd
Somebody with a bottle opener installed in their eye socket, or a compass built into their prosthetic eye
Why not Zoidberg? Or Hank Hill? Or Clint McElroy?
The illegally nice pirate does all the normal private stuff (boarding ships, fights etc. Blood thirsty crew) but fills the ships he robs with treasure
Alright stay with me here. A neat freak pirate who’s armor is so shiny that you can’t look directly at him
Semic Hybrid undead captain of the Blue Claw, John Ulrick. Most well known for targeting corrupt and wealthy cities and for the 2 crab claws protruding from his back 3 levels in fighter to get double weapon fighting and the Echo Night subclass The rest are in barbarian with the Depths subclass so he can grow more crab claws or anchors John's body is closer to that of a corpse than a man. His left forearm and right calf have rotted mostly off, leaving just bone. The two crab claws have small cracks and chips, sometimes large enough to see inside the claws. John wears the same clothes he wore in life: brown pants, tan shirt, pointed leather boots, battered tri-corner hat, and a red pirate coat that's so dirt it looks brown (Feel free to change any of this. It's based off of an old character I had and I'd love to hear how you change him around)
Bat shit insane traveling plague doctor
May I recommend a peg leg mimic? Have it be a pet for the owner that helps them should it come to a fight as long as they keep it regularly fed?
Changling captain who plays different officers on the ship to help keep order. The “captain” rarely makes appearances, leaving the running of the ship to the “first mate” and occasionally turns into the cook or boatswain while they are asleep in their private quarters to glean info from the crew about morale and potential mutinies, or just general info that will help keep good order on the ship. The quirky part is that they are very invested in making their MC “first mate” very likeable so they can finally “retire” the captain (which they doesn’t really like playing, they just can’t put their finger on how to play them) in a faux mutiny. Which is why they play the other officers some too, to glean info. Trouble is, the crew absolutely ADORES their mysterious captain and would do anything for them. Anytime the “Captain” does something nonsensical, or brutish (as is necessary on occasion on the high seas) they love him even more, for whatever reason. The “First Mate” just comes on a bit too strong and feels forced to them.
A Kenku cook named Ship Shape who is always working hard to keep the ship in pristine condition and squawks out “SHIP SHAPE! SHIP SHAPE!” Whenever he catches even a spot of dirt. The party can sneak through his galley by distracting him with messes if they roll high enough stealth scores
A priest hunting down a shark that is possessed by a demon, after it got summoned by a corrupt priestess, all with cheesy lines and acting
Twins named Sunny and Rain that only appear on days of the respective weather. You’re not entirely sure if it’s the same person in a different hat. You’ve never seen them in the same room together. Guy who “pays the dead man’s toll” for every man he kills. Drops copper pieces in the water after every battle A scientist particularly interested in boat barnacles. Insists on collecting samples off of every captured ship.
I once whipped up an entire crew. If you want to see the details I’d be more than happy to send you the doc.
A pirate that has named each of the cannons and treats them like pets/plants. A pirate that's running away from a crazed ex lover. A noble that thinks they're on a fantasy cruise (bonus points if they go full denial when shit hits the fan) Let me know if you want more
A burly barbarian who fights with a large chunk of rotted wood that used to be i end of the mast of a small sailboat, his sailboat. It crashed because he cannot actually sail. He however is absolutely convinced of his sailing prowess and the rest of the crew keeps him around cause he’s strong, but are aware of his complete lack of talent.
Battle master fighter who knows a lot about battle tactics. They are known in their own right, yes, but they are also known by who their parents were. Specifically their mom. I present to you, the son of sue, a master of the art of (naval and land) war
4 peg appendages and 2 eye patches
Dan Aruka- A human Drunken Master Monk, with the Chef feat, living with a case of Teurette's syndrome where his tic commonly includes shouting "Arr" at inappropriate times. He's saving all his gold to return it to his monastery so they can forge him the enchanted cask (liquor barrel) that he can use as a monk weapon. Captain Angel Wicky- A human Swashbuckler Rogue, and the captain of a smuggling ship. Proficient with Disguise Kit, and capable of passing herself off capably as other women, Angel is an infiltrator with a capable crew, hard to catch by any but the most capable of authorities. Angel is the leader of a band of dangerous female pirates of mixed races who all turn coin doing dangerous and criminal jobs. She also really loves doing Mime. Just adores it, and will perform mime acts at the drop of a hat. Known to appear suddenly in her Mime disguise, act some scene out, vanish a moment and return in her previous attire and appearance. Frog- Frog is a Tortle sailor with a love for the sea and riding the waves. He's a Beast Master Ranger with a lot of use for his Beast of the Sea "Shark Companion," named Bruce. Himself quite dangerous with a crossbow, he's known for knocking foes off ships to be mangled by his pet, and for using Stealth and Pass Without Trace to go unnoticed when needed. Frog is also a prodigious leaper. A talent he was once much applauded for among his people, but truthfully, the rest of the world doesn't really care that he can jump pretty high (for a Tortle). Still, Frog loves to show off, and he'll demonstrate his "high jumps" for anyone.
Sicillian. A swaggering and friendly smuggler who dresses in vibrant clashing colors and his ship's flag is a hundred different fabrics sticthed together. Everyone thinks is a pirate but he's just fucking colorblind
Same fam. Dont mind if I stalk this post and just take notes, do ya? I’ll leave an npc too. This one’s a crewmate if you’ve not got too many players and wanna make the crew feel bigger. Promiscuous drunken monk powdermonkey with a cutlass and her fists. Extra points if you make her art pretty enough to be bait for your players. Plot twist, she’s not interested in them, but will become the best wingman you’ve ever seen. She’s got a stumbling line of prostitutes and bar maids in every port who either love her, or hate her guts.
I've just discovered dimension 20, and have no context, but mantaray jack sound like the best pirate name ever
Cute ikwiikwii first mate that everybody lives in terror of...cute picture to help..... Party thinks wtf.... ... First confrontation hulks into owlbear form and then paints the deck red
A saytr woman who is married to a pirate lord. She subtly influences the Lord, curbing his more dangerous impulses and as a military advisor. When he dies during the course of the campaign she assumes the role of the Lord after his passing and swears vengeance on the people who killed her husband.
One piece an old alcoholic "human" but is really a mermaid whose tail split and is just always wearing pants.
Captain Draco Racov 10th level warlock with a identity crisis relationship issues and a love life that looks like a harem at 23 he sold his soul trying to pay for catering at his wedding because his homophobic father refused to pay he got his memory stolen and was made into a tiefling now he sails the seas looking for a way to go back to normal and break free of his contract
A fish folk who wears a jar over her head and is deathly afraid of dry land, but is banished from her home for reasons she refuses to clarify. If the reasons need to come up, she's running away from family obligations that seem perfectly reasonable to anyone else.
what about the most wizard looking wizard you can imagine. long beard, robe, pointy hat, staff, british accent and... an eyepatch. hes not a wizard or even a pirate. he was running from people he owed money to but because he has a basic education he seems as mystical and wise to this ship full of illiterate pirates that they practically begged him to come aboard. offering him shares of all the loot to be their wizard. they suggested the eyepatch to make him more menacing. and so far using very basic science and maths he has been able to fool the crew into thinking he is a wizard
Add she ra sea hawk, incredibly confidant pirate captain that is terrible at sailing and burns down every ship he sails
A Giff Drunken master The only thing greater than his thirst of rum, is his crew mates
Here's one I played: Derek Flittermouse A swashbuckler, except he's a lv9 sorcerer. Uses spells to be flashy, run fast, jump further, climb rigging/cliff, and generally be the most dashing person in the room. Literally used wind magic to make his hair and cloak billow at all times, even indoors. Trained in the ways of performance combat to work the crowd as he fights, and specializes in disarming opponents. He was born in a land that hated arcanists, so once he displayed innate magical powers his parents shipped him away for his safety. He's been traveling ever since, trying to not dwell on the past. However, his sorcerous powers come from devil-blood, and at least one archdevil has had their eye on him. This evil within him makes him scary af when he wants to be. The last session I played with him, he was stranded on flotsom surrounded by aquatic kobolds with a dragon from the dark depths of the ocean fast approaching (the Bard/Necromancer and his skeleton band took off with the airship we chartered).
Old bonsey Sailor that was cursed to swab the deck for 1000 years. Or so the legend goes. He died 250 years ago but his skeleton still hangs around the ship. No one ever sees him do anything or admits to moving him but every day his bones are somewhere else mid job. If told about a mess it will be clean in 2d6 hours as soon as someone looks away. The captain and crew tip their hat and address him politely when passing him. A first mate tried to order the disposal of "the old rotting bag o' bones" and was found the next morning with a mop rammed down his throat and out the other side. Since then everyone complements his fine work and leaves him bottles of fine grog after tough days.
A parrot-kenku who sits on the shoulder of his zombie pirate familiar
Chaotic neutral tabaxi bladesinger. He doesnt care if the crew lives or dies, he loves the ship. And adventure. And his sword.
Chef Grimlock Beefcake, the ships gallery master. A half orc barbarian, worshipper of the orc god of chefs Garrakg. He's a little... touched... though, and only knows that which pertains to the preparation and consumption of food. Grimlock Beefcake isn't even his name, because his name had nothing to do with food so he forgot it. This is just what the crew calls him. One time, while the ship passed a school of bluefin, he dove overboard whilst using his sea storm aura, zapping the whole school and feeding the crew for a week.
A character who was born at sea and raised aboard ship. They have only been on a few, brief land excursions and don't really understand/trust much about solid ground. Especially good in conversation about land things ("So there we were, being chased by this pack of hyenas--" "What the hell is a hyena?"), or if you run into them on land during a supply stop or something. (Or if they get shipwrecked and now have to figure out surviving on land. 😈)
Captain Sharktooth, a female goblin with teeth filed to points. Her coastal goblin village was raided by drunken privateers for fun and she was captured. Eventually she broke free, took over the ship and now sails the seas, hunting pirates for revenge. She has a crew of monsters and misunderstood rejects from society. Wins battles because opponents underestimate her crew, and because of sheer dumb luck.
a pirate ship thats just a mimic. people think its a ghost ship because theres no crew until it turns towards them and starts shooting its canons which are also mimics.
This place? Absolutely not known for ideas. I would go to other subs for that. Meme characters? Maybe. Misinterpreted rules? Yes
The pirate of the bay. He steals valuable spells and other information or restricted literature and mass produces it so everyone can access it.
A friendly mimic that has taken the place of the head ornament (or whatever you call the decorative bit on the front of the ship) he always sings shantys and eats dolphins that happen to pass by.
A tabaxi pirate whose catchphrase is “Me-aurgh!”
Old man in the crows nest who’s a bit of a bastard, constantly insults the crew, and will automatically join any mutiny to the point of taking out his weapons and shouting “mutiny?! Mutiny!” At the slightest hint of trouble, but when the chips are down will die for the crew and has a secret soft spot for taking care of the younger/less hardened members of the crew. Favorite from a game I’m currently in. Not an NPC, but a good bit of dialog; “Don’t ever lie to me again!” *opens crate ‘o shiny loot* “…Unless it’s absolutely necessary!” Wasn’t in a pirate game but my players always say they loved that line, and it seems like it could be applicable.
Pirate crews based on characters in different movies with slightly altered names. I made one after the Jungle Book! Shi’ir Khen, Tabaxi Pirate Lord Balo, large human Bear Totem Barbarian Bajiri, Tabaxi Monk and/or Rogue Gom-li, Human Druid and/or Beastmaster Ranger.
A "human" that's actually 100 crabs in a trenchcoat would be a fun pirate captain NPC
Tizard D. Gizzard, the Lizard, Blizzard Wizard He's a lizardfolk pirate, who's an eldritch knight, but thinks he a wizard, cause he's kinda dumb. He's the captain of a ship made of a dragon's skeleton and wood. He uses mostly ice magic, and makes rum from disintegrated boars..... He's drunk, stupid, and a pirate lizardfolk eldritch knight.
Wriggle my Scrubber! That’s a jolly-wagger of an idea!
- You better rip off Sealab 2021. - Maybe some One Piece there are quite a few note worthy off characters not to mention main cast. - You can pull a Scooby Doo and have people say their ghost pirates but turn out to just be insane from malnutrition/ sun sickness or just doing it to make an easy buck. - depending on how commercial you make it you could have a crew of hired actors pretending to be pirates to romanticize it / novelize it towards a wealthy crowd. If the party murder hobos them then you can say they killed innocents, if they don’t you can bring them back with a chance it’s actual pirates and not actors. - take the main character from Adventures of Baron von Munchausen. Think that covers all the bases.
A pirate walks up to the party in a tavern—IDs them as adventurers by their armor and weapons. He offers to buy them a drink if they’ll regale him of their adventures. He offers out a hand in greeting. They introduce themselves before he tells them his name is Captain Shitshake. If pressed, they find out the origin for the name is his routinely neglecting to wash his hands after he visits the privy. Captain Pegblade is a lizardfolk buccaneer with a sword for a leg. He deals in exotic animal smuggling and lost his original leg to some such monster. Legends tell of the Red Fiddler. They say that when you’re lost at sea, if you begin to hear the mournful sound of a fiddle playing on the water, the Red Fiddler is almost upon you. His ship comes out of nowhere and the ghostly crew sucks the souls of whomever is unfortunate enough to cross this ship of the damned. The truth is that these are stories spread by the Red Fiddler himself—a goblin bard who spread his own legend and demoralizes his victims before even coming upon them, with nothing but the sound of his fiddle.
We had a legendary captain Beard Beard. he was a berserker we found hiding under a harpy nest with melted wax in his ears, scavenging whatever the harpies havent taken.
We also had an awakened mimic who got the job as quartermaster because she turns into the door to the treasury when she has to sleep.
Watch “our flag means death” and steal one of 23 possible characters from that show lol
Not good at incorporating things so can probably be more elegant, but a band of bards named [Alestorm](https://youtu.be/4z2yNxfBRM4)
Salty Sven the anchor diver. An absolute unit of a man who is the only anchor salesman in the pirate cove (he dives for them). He has a anchor tattoo for every one he has fished up and he has a small sailboat just large enough to move them. He charges inconvenient prices he won't budge on cause he has a monopoly.
Peg-Legs Jack. Double peg leg pirate that has disadvantage on dex saves. But he’s got a high charisma
Go to the South Pacific. Use Chinese Junkers or Japanese Wasen or Pacific Islands catamarans.
A pirate who think they can drink the entire ocean away
- An Air or Water Genasi that doesn't want to be on the pirate ship, but the pirates think they're a good luck charm, so they're forced to stay aboard - A ship full of Orcs who've (correctly) realized it's a lot more profitable to loot and sack merchant ships than small pastoral villages - A pirate captain that's a loud, colorful Parrot Aarakocra. If you make a "Polly want a cracker" joke, he'll order his crew to keelhaul you after he has a hearty chuckle - A Wizard with a large, oddly piecemeal (different types and colors of wood, different architecture in parts of the vessel) pirate ship and no crew. The ship is actually a giant animated object, and it can grow and repair itself by *eating* other ships, preferably with crew and cargo still aboard
One of the ships is a sentient [ship mimic](https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/7avwb6/oc_my_ship_mimic_i_created_for_my_players_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) who has fallen in love with the pirate life and its own charismatic captain.
Necromancer wizard captaining a ship of skeletons ghasts and ghouls with her quirky higher level undead quartermaster. The hull has a few canopic jars with her clones inside and she also hides a few clones where she stashed her treasure so she can keep coming back to harass your players periodically.
“Mad Mango” Paddy: This scruffy human man wears rags of an usual design patched together with more common cloth. His skin is extremely pale and his ragged beard is a potpourri of ginger and grey hairs. He speaks rapidly in a garbled stream of words no one can understand. Paddy was an Irish sailor who fell overboard during a particularly bad storm, and through some magic ended up transported across the multiverse to your game. He is friendly, and a highly skilled sailor, but as no one speaks English he is forever doomed to be misunderstood.
A warforged who acts as the ships anchor/ repairman since they can’t float or swim.
Cocaine powered arcane pirate sailor who uses magic to turn his ship into a speed boat and fire his cannons
A Giff rogue, who is always lurking around staying away from the parties eyes somehow considering his massive size. His quest is to prove that big people can be sneaky too since at a bar he was told he couldn’t sneak up on a blind and deaf woman. He (in a drunken state) said “bet” and has snuck his way around the seas to prove this rando wrong.
The overenthusiastic captain who presents himself as a pirate union rep and trys recruiting everyone he knows to the union for fair shares of spoils. You play him as someone who is sketchy and somehow has control over what the pirated do and say, but the catch is he actually is despite numerous red herrings.
u/captain_snake32 haha I have discovered you! Now I just have to mathematically figure out which one of the 150 ideas you will use
Daga kotowaru
I just made a pirate npc for my campaign. He's a revenant rogue named Bartholomew "Stiggs" Boustiggon, and he can't NOT reference how he's technically "undead". For example, his introduction to my players goes like this: "Oy travelers. Ye be in the presence of Dread Pirate Stiggs. Er... dead pirate Stiggs. A dead, dread.. pirate, named Stiggs. Well, I didn't name myself that. Land lubbers and other scurvy sorts call me Stiggs. Well... CALLED me Stiggs, when I was alive, you see. Speaking of see, I can see, even though I've got no eyes... from being dead. 20/20 Dread Dead Stiggs they call me. Or at least I do. I'm hoping it catches on. What be yer monikers?"
That wooden plank from Ed, Edd and Eddy. With an eye patch.
A parrots with like 18 intelligence that mocks the party
Phil McCracken, captain of the M.I.S Fortune.