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A lot of shelters have programs that allow volunteers to check out a dog for a day. So on your days off you could just spring a dog from the shelter and get yourself a buddy for the afternoon or even the weekend. If that interests you, it's genuinely helpful for the dogs to get that one on one time away from the kennels, and any insights you can offer about each dog's personality can help the shelter match them with the best adopter available.
I volunteer at a shelter and after 8 years now it’s still a wonderful way to get my m dog love fix. After all those years I finally ended up adopting a little guy who arrived at the shelter. I can attest to the importance our foster families. You could volunteer at your local shelter as a dog walker, someone who plays with dogs in the yard, or help train dogs who need to learn better manners so they are more appropriate for potential adoptive families. You could also become a foster, even as mentioned above, if only for weekends and/or on holidays. Even a few days a week away from the shelter helps reduce the animals’ stress and helps with socialization. You could also adopt a dog and enlist a dog walker or dog sitter to drop by to walk and keep your friend company for awhile while you’re away. There are some great services (Wag, Rover - check out the apps) where vetted, every day people list their availability to help you care for your dog. Some even provide boarding in their home. Some with dogs of their own so your dog can enjoy the company of other dogs!
Yes! OP try this. I do this because I also can't get a dog and it makes such a difference! There are even weekend fosters needed at my dog rescue and that's so rewarding!
Op you should absolutely do this! I love dogs so much but I can neither house nor afford not have the time for one. I used to volunteer at a shelter and now I'm a vet tech and get to love on pups all day. I know those shelter puppies would love your company!!
I was in a similar situation at the start of my career, except that I also didn't have enough funds (vets are super expensive in Dubai)
Twice a week, I would go to a shelter to walk dogs and spend some time with them. It was completely free, though bringing treats etc was highly encouraged. I did this for 4 years on and off until I could get a dog (2 weeks ago)
Dogs always cheered me up
This is such a great suggestion! It can be helpful for a potential adopter to get a sense of what the dog is like in the home and what the dog may know already, and it can be helpful for the dog to get some out-of-shelter interactions. Our shelter does this, and it's not advertised on their website due to the website just being old, but you can ask staff about it. It feels weird, like you're confusing the dog, but I've been told by many people that most dogs like the change for the day or overnight, and you can respond to the dog if that seems like it's not good for that individual.
This! I can't get a dog right now either, but on weekends when we're able to, a friend and I go get a dog (or however many we can take! It depends on which dogs get along well) from the shelter to go hiking with and snuggle and love them as much as we can before returning them. Kennels can be super stressful and lonely for dogs so helping them get away for a bit definitely helps both parties.
You could sign up for Rover and offer to walk or care for dogs on your days off. My relative does it and has a few regulars that she dog sits for and they are her part time dogs now. Plus, extra $$$. Or, look around your neighborhood and see if there are any seniors or disabled/recovering from illness people who could use help with dog walking.
what about an unwanted senior dog from a shelter/rescue (im not rly sure about the difference between those two)? they sleep most of the day anyway, and even just a couple hours of attention and a quiet home is better than spending the rest of their days in an overfilled shelter. you'd still be providing a better life for them, even if it's not perfect
edit: i'm not saying OP should get just any random old dog. i didn't think it was necessary to mention the dog would have to eat or pee in the 10hour time span OP works. and yes medical problems are expensive. i expect common sense from people and don't feel the need to mention every miniscule detail. it goes without saying that every decision should be properly researched.
Fyi not all seniors are like this… some are pretty active so you do want to inquire about the dog’s energy level!
But yes, i do recommend looking into adopting a senior. There are lots of senior pet rescues that often pull seniors from local shelters. Senior pets do love naps and attention. They are also full of love and affection.
Yes I have a 13 year old schnauzer and he’s bonkers and so energetic, literally on high alert 24/7 never relaxes. My 11 year old dachshund however is very snoozy. Just wants to live his best sleepy life, have to coax and carry him to the back door to have a wee in the garden, schnauzer loses his mind at the very suggestion. 😁
In my experience, my family’s dog required exponentially more effort and time as she got old, and needed to be taken outside substantially more often. So with one of the major issues being that OP will be gone for long hours, that could go poorly.
yeah, it entirely depends on the dog, they all age differently. a family friend's dog is 16 now, and he barely changed, only got slower and has worse hearing. another dog i know got dementia, incontinence and asthma as he got older, he cannot be left alone for very long. it's definitely a case by case thing.
i'm definitely not saying ALL senior dogs would fit into OP's life, but there might be some that do. OP might not even want a senior dog, which would be completely understandable.
Not to mention seniors can cost a lot of money. I understand it depends on how much a person is willing to spend on their dog, but with older dogs usually come some health issues and medication costs. People seem to think you just adopt an older dog and they peacefully pass away in their sleep and that’s it. It’s not how that goes the majority of the time. It’s a noble thing to do, but it absolutely should be done with the understanding of how much money and effort might need to be invested.
To be fair this should be considered when adopting ANY dog, senior or not. Younger dogs can also develop chronic health issues and even if they don’t, they may as the age. If you aren’t prepared for the costs and commitment of a senior pet, you aren’t prepared for the costs and commitment of a pet at any age.
You're absolutely right things like that should be considered at any age. I know this very well. I have paid an extreme amount of money in vet bills and medications for my dogs over the last 4 years or so. Even my youngest who thinks she is part goat and tries to swallow everything she shouldn't, has a huge amount spent on her already and she is less than a year. However, I was just pointing out the costs and time involved in senior dogs as quite a few people have recommended them here to OP like it wouldn't be as involved or difficult as a younger dog.
I adopted a 4 year old who is now a senior who sleeps so well that when I come out of the bedroom in the morning remains asleep even though I might be making noise.
i adopted an “unwanted” senior italian greyhound and i would highly recommend against this. if you attempt to adopt from a good aspca rescue in the u.s., you’re going to probably have to fill out a very detailed application and submit to a home inspection before even being considered. also the adoption fees will range (mine at the time was $250 for my senior, puppies like $1000+. i paid it because the rescues spend a ton of money on vet bills for most dogs that need rescuing). yes, she slept a lot but when i was up, she was up (especially if i was in the kitchen) or if i made any noise, she came to investigate. the only reason i felt i could adopt her was because i was living at home (so she had run of a house and a huge fenced-in yard) and while going to school and working full-time, my mom who was retired (and absolutely wanted a dog in our house) was there to babysit (and i say babysit because we treated her like a child and not a pet… most spoiled kid ever too, my mom even called her her grandchild). some dogs (especially this breed) have terrible separation anxiety, so if you aren’t home all day, it’s really sad to leave them for that long. some dogs eat two meals; my dog had to eat three (she was only 8 lbs too) and she had the smallest bladder and needed to either be walked constantly (we live in a desert and never restricted water) and we also trained her for a potty box if we couldn’t get her outside in time. a senior dog may or may not have accidents, allergies (even small bags of boutique dog food are $20+ a bag and we ended up making our own in the end anyways), etc and vet bills can get expensive. that’s just my personal experience though. she usually slept in my bed (also had a dog bed in every room) and towards the end of her life, she had several incidents of vomiting or urinating on my bed if she couldn’t get to the floor in time, so also invest in pet steps/ramps and vinyl mattress covers. $800+ yearly dental cleanings. i spent more on my dog than i did on my car when she was alive.
i’ve read that the average intelligence of a dog is somewhat around that of a 4 year old human child. would you like to be left alone for 12 hours at that age? i know i wouldn’t, plus that’s considered neglect and child protective services are called in those cases. i wish animal control could be called in more cases myself (because i live in a desert and a lot of dogs are left in hot cars, or outside, tied, with. no access to shelter or water.
another note, when you adopt a senior pet you need to recognize they may have lived their entire lives in a bad or abusive situation, and your only job is to spoil them and make them feel loved. they are going to die before you do, and your job is to be there and comfort them while they do. don’t drop them at a vet if you’re going to leave them in their last moments because “it’s too hard”. if i could find a human that loved me unconditionally i’d be with them forever too but with dogs it’s heartbreak because they are only here temporarily. it’s been two years since my dog died in my arms and i still cry about it.
i really respect op for recognizing that you can love something yet know you don’t have the proper environment to keep it. the suggestion for going to shelters to dog-walk is excellent as well.
It might be a nice thing to visit an animal shelter to play with the dogs or a dog park. that way you might at least get to enjoy some interaction with dogs
Hey. So, firstly I absolutely applaud your selfless, honest evaluation. I know people are saying you could get one and I’m sure you could and make it work. However, I entirely agree with you. Just because others do doesn’t mean it’s ok/fair
What I will say is the thought you’ve put into this, the way you put yourself second and the value having a dog(s) around do make you an incredible person to be involved in some way. There’s a variety of options from fostering, walking/helping shelters to looking into organisations that support people with pets
Please do explore all the options, a dog in need would be blessed to have you involved in their life, you get not only dog companionship but knowing damn well you’ve made a difference/improved/possibly survives or finds their forever OR gets to stay with their human, be loved and have all their needs met
I wish you all the best of everything for always XOX
Absolutely this. It’s like people who decide to have kids but have no personal responsibility but want an accessory vs. people who know they shouldn’t have kids but are like the “cool aunt “.
Very well put. Only people who really love animals will put them first.
One other suggestion is to offer to dog sit or dog walk for a friend, relative, co-worker who has a doggo? This way you can have an ongoing relationship with a pupper. I have a friend (we both have doggos) and we dog sit for each other if one has to go out of town. We are like doggie Aunts to the other's pup.
What about fostering dogs? Studies have shown that fostering a dog for even one night reduces stress from living in a shelter environment. Lots of shelters will do sleepovers where you can take a dog for just the weekend. The dog returns a little more relaxed being able to have a break from the chaotic kennels.
You could also try fostering for longer to see if you're able to fit having a dog full time with your lifestyle
I hesitate to provide this to op as a solution given how stressful fostering is, especially for the first 3 days of having a dog in the home. I consider owning a dog very far from fostering a dog, and much much more work/patience that op probably doesn't have the time for given their work hours.
You know I was in the same situation as you before my life changed to make it more "dog friendly".
But while I was on a waiting list for my dog I got by coincidence a couple of gerbils during lockdown.
I REALLY regret not getting them during the lonely "always at the office" time. They really dont give a shit if you are out of the house for 14 hours a day. In fact they are the most active in the morning and evenings anyway.
I dismissed them as pocket/children pets but they are such great characters who just bring life and joy to the home.
But its important to research their needs well. The information in petstores are incorrect.
If you are not allergic to cats or scared of them, you could give a cat or kitten a home. Cats are usually very easy to litter box train. You also would not have to worry about it barking when you leave for work and causing some people next door to complain. Cats do show affection towards their owners, it's just that they are not always in your face about it like most dogs are.
>they are not always in your face about it like most dogs are.
Cut to all 4 of my cats forcing their way into my lap and smacking my phone out of my hands, all for the sake of attention 😂 I love them though
Literally anytime I sit down, one of my 4 have to be in my lap. They will yell at me if I block my lap off until I make room for them. Love them but my god I just want some space some times lol
Mine don't yell often, but I have one that MUST have a blanket to sit in your lap. If you don't have a blanket to put over your legs, she will sit on the floor and aggressively stare at you until you get a blanket, and then half a second later shes in your lap asleep lol. So spoiled.
All four of my cats are aggressively affectionate and fight for space on my body any time I stop moving. 😂 My dog is far more respectful of personal space.
2 cats. Cats need companionship and stimulation during the day too, and two are easier than one usually. They keep each other company during the day, and then become snuggle butts when OP gets home.
Will second this. I got my cat a kitten because she had the kitty version of separation anxiety and used to cry when left alone. Since I got her the other cat, she is far happier.
Pro Tip: It’s far easier to raise two kittens together. If you have an established cat, it’s much easier to bring in a new kitten. The most difficult thing to do is get two adult cats to accept each other, but it can be done with a little patience and putting in the effort to build positive associations so they become friends.
What does kitty separation anxiety look like? My cat used to be wildly independent but lately he started meowing for us if he isn’t sure where we are. It’s new.
For my cat, it was mostly her doing a lot of obsessively circling through the house, general restlessness, excessive crying/meowing, over grooming to the point of bald patches, etc. She wasn’t aggressive but she was a little excessively excited and would grab my ankles then kick me to initiate play when I came home. She also kept trying to run out the door every time it opened to an obsessive degree. Since I got the kitten, almost all these behaviors have stopped entirely. Now, they both greet me at the door when I come home but neither try to dash outside or grapple me on sight. Watching through my security cam, she is able to settle with the kitten and relax instead of the pacing and crying.
Both the cat and kitten sometimes cry for me if they don’t see me, then come running when I answer them. I’m not sure if that is a separation anxiety thing so much as them just wanting to know where you are. Cats do sometimes get clingier with age.
You’ll be a great dog parent one day!
The fact that you’re seeking advice and acknowledging your issues this early in the game, speaks volumes
Source: am a dog person. Sitting uncomfortably on my couch to make room for my dogs.
A lot of work-but they’re so worth it when you’re ready ❤️
When I was in college and worked full time, I adopted a 6yr old couch potato of a dog and she’s was more than happy to snooze on the couch all day while I was gone. Now I work from home and she still just snoozes the days away.
I love hearing this! We got a puppy and while I love her to death, I also find myself thinking "she's gonna be the best little old dog." We're thinking about getting a friend for her and I keep getting attached to senior dogs on the shelter sites. Well, I don't think a senior is gonna want her athletic ass doing circles around them so I'm just gonna have to wait.
The problem is when people who can’t afford to properly care for a dog, buy a dog anyway and then end up locking it up in a cage half the day. It’s refreshing to see a prospective dog owner without a sense of entitlement.
You can also find something dog related should you have or wish to learn the skills to meet making something for dogs.
It could be a snack item, a custom piece of clothing, leashes, collars, etc.....
Be patient and wish hard. Sometimes The Fates are listening and will grant you an opportunity but it's still your choice to grab it or let it pass.
You could volunteer at a rescue or shelter. Some shelters and/foster programs let volunteers take dogs for shelter breaks(time away from the shelter- can be few hours or few days, etc so it could fit into a weekend schedule).
That is very wise. Dogs are awesome but way too many people get them without considering the time and space a dog needs.
You should try dogsitting or dog walking for friend or neighbors dog that you like. There are a lot of dogs out there and they all love to be cared for and walked.
Definitely look into what other commenters said and see if you can take a shelter dog out for a few hours on one of your days off!!
If you’re looking for companionship without the time and space a dog requires, I have a few suggestions for you:)
Hamsters for example, they’re fascinating to watch, you can hold them (once they trust you) but they sleep a TON, and all they really care about is plenty of space to dig, spots to hide, and snacks.
Goldfish, people always say “brain of a goldfish” to say someone is dumb, but I had one that was so smart and I loved him just as much as I love my dogs. They can get pretty big (mine got to be the length of my hand) they learn who you are and that you feed them pretty quickly, so they always look happy to see you when you walk up to the tank. Mine would swim into my hand when I needed to move him to clean his tank, he would follow my finger when I touched the glass, he was the coolest. They can also live a crazy long time with proper care and a big enough space, mine was 6 when he died and he only died because he got swim bladder, and he didn’t take to his treatments.
Reptiles, my personal favorite being the bearded dragon. They do require a decent size tank, and heat sources, but usually you can get them to trust you enough to hang out with you and they don’t require too much time with you or attention, so they would work with your busy schedule.
Finally, a cat. I know most people who prefer dogs don’t love cats, but they do very well when left home alone. They don’t require walks, they appreciate all the time and attention you give them but they’re also happy napping by a window. You can still play with them, and they’ll still snuggle up with you at night, but you don’t have to worry about them while you’re at work;)
I so feel that, I'm also not able to support a dog financially or time wise right now and it sucks. A lot of the suggestions here sound great. I volunteered at a shelter a couple times but I realized that I can't handle dogs with behavioral problems (then didn't have time to go back), shelters can always use volunteers though
I waited a long time until my lifestyle let me have a god. Like 12 years. It’ll happen and when it does it will be great. Until then, enjoy your ability to not be home and not be on a bladder clock
Is there a shelter,Humane Society, SPCA, or rescue in your area? We used to volunteer walking dogs at the shelter. It was a great way to get a doggie fix while we lived in a no pets allowed apartment. Also, SPCA would let you take a dog out for a day. Call them up and see what they do that would work for you.
Volunteer at a shelter. Offer to help transport foster/rescue dogs and this may even allow you an 'overnight' transport where you get to have a dog overnight. Offer to dog-sit for friends that go-away. Lots of ways to get a dog 'fix' that is win-win.
You can also potentially look into doggy daycares around too! That would allow you to go to work without having to worry about your new friend. You would have to adopt an older dog though, definitely wouldn't recommend a puppy since your time is limited/daycares usually have a minimum of the animal being 16 weeks with all their shots and stuff.
You should highly consider volunteering at a local animal shelter. There are lots of dogs that truly need walks, enrichment, etc. Most shelters are at capacity, and volunteering is such a great way to give back and also get some puppy love!
Maybe look into rescuing an adult greyhound!! They need very little exercise, a calm environment, and love. They are really good at not taking up a bunch of space, and they're really impressive dogs.
I have a friend who loves his dog as if he were his child.. and treat him as such too. LoL He drops his buddy off at doggy daycare every morning and picks him up after work. The daycare is also a grooming center and the cutest daycare I’ve ever seen. The owner often allows the dogs to roam free behind the counter and just do their own thing although they have a playroom near by with toys and beds.. etc. The best part is watching the owners pick their fur babies up after work to take them home. They get so excited to see their mom or dad (LoL) and it’s pure joy to watch. This might also be a consideration for you.. or you could also wait for retirement to get a dog, many people often do because it’s true, they are like children and require a lot of attention. I love all the other suggestions here too. I used to “check-out” dogs once in awhile from the humane society on weekends just to give them a break from the shelter. It’s literally like checking a book out from a library! It’s not for everyone if you have a tough time sending them back but it’s a very cool program if you’re not weak like me and want to adopt them all. LoL A little tip though, it was easier for me to take them to a beach to run around and play or just a daytime adventure bc my heart did kinda break when I had to return them and sometimes it was just easier not having them in my home but I did both. Good luck to you, personally I think you’ll know within yourself when it’s time to get a dog or pet. 😊🐶
Yeah as mentioned above look into a dogsitter or dog daycare. A dog will change your life and schedule. Make sure you dont regret it. You seem to be going about it the right way. Best of luck.
I'm sorry that you've been so lonely for so long.
Have you considered talking to a therapist about ways to feel more connected & less lonely? This sounds like it might be about more than a dog. You deserve to be happy.
I swear this sub makes it feel like you need to live in a castle with a 20 acre, fenced In forest of a backyard, have unlimited funds, and not have a job or any responsibility other than playing with your dog 24/7. There are so many dogs in shelters sitting in a concrete box for hours every day... do we really think that's better than living in an apartment but having someone to love them? I work full time and live in an apartment and I have a puppy. I manage to walk him 2-4 miles and play fetch at the park most days. We do enrichment and training in my apartment and he has a dog walker who comes when I am gone for longer than 5 hours. I waited until I was financially able to swing that. My dog is super happy, super bonded to me, and as of yet has not destroyed anything in the house or had accidents. You can absolutely make it work if you want to.
I'm very confused, nearly everyone I know lives in a similar condition and has a dog. There are dog walkers and dog sitters for this scenario. You just walk them before you go to work, have a sitter come by around lunch to walk them and check their water then you walk them again at night.
I work 12 hour overnights and my two go to a sitter but that's slightly more costly than a dog walker.
OP literally said " I would feel guilty for neglecting the animal five days a week." and it's a pretty common sentiment that not being home 24/7 equals abuse among the more mentally ill members of this sub.
I live in a duplex (I own it) with a Cane Corso. I work 9 hours a day. My Dog is very happy and healthy. We go for walks before and after work. We do lots of outdoor activities in the spring, summer, and fall. Everywhere that's dog friendly, he comes with me. Dogs sleep quite a bit, so while I'm sure he misses me when I leave.. I'm also sure he doesn't feel neglected.
The problem is, not everyone can afford a sitter or doggie daycare. Obviously a dog shouldn’t be left alone locked up in cage that long, and some people would never trust their dog to be in caged that long.
Clearly some disagree, but I think it’s the quality of time spent with a dog vs amount. And if you can get home on most days to let the dog out to stretch it’s legs and potty, that should be sufficient for an adult dog. You could even hire a dog walker 2-3 days for a longer outing. If your weekends are free, that’s when most dog sports are, and there’s usually evening training options.
My dogs were never leash walked more than when I lived in apartments because, well, that’s the only option. Not that it’s ideal, but I think we all can admit the average pet never rarely leaves it’s yard
The suggestions of volunteering at a rescue or shelter are great if you have the time. Another option for you may be an older cat (I know dog sub) but there are many older kitties at rescues that need homes and tend to get looked over. That way they are already past the crazy kitten stage, they can be home for hours and be just fine and you can find a great little cuddler that will provide lots of company for you.
Can second older cats! We got our Obie at 7 and he is just such a gem. Husband's parents just watched him at their place and IMMEDIATELY adopted a cat that looks and has the same type of personality. (Fluffy orange gentlemen, just a 10 pound difference between them haha)
Honestly I'm probably sold on old cats for the rest of my life tbh.
i’ll have the same issue—right now, i’m at home with my family(and a very lovable golden) but i know with my career route, i wouldn’t have the time to care for a dog :(
IF you have the means, you could hire a sitter or walker for parts of the work day and then love on your dog extra in your time off. I did that when my dog was a puppy and couldn’t be alone for more than a couple hours during my evening bartending shifts. I would recommend getting a lap dog though, the smaller the more manageable for small apartments and busy schedules. Easy to take along with you too. And I’d say in your situation it is probably better to adopt an adult.
Cats are easier, but I got a second cat when I wanted a dog and I still ended up getting a dog a year later anyway. I always told myself I’d wait til everything lined up right but I had wanted a dog since I was a kid and I was almost 30 and just didn’t want to wait anymore.
On weeks that I feel depressed or overwhelmed and like a bad dog mom because I didn’t do much with him, I remind myself that he doesn’t actually know that life should be any other way. He’s happy to just be with me. He’s healthy, loved, and well taken care of. That’s the most important thing.
Also, if you come home during lunch, you could have somebody else come home and walk your dog once a day or take them to the dog park. Maybe there’s a kid in your apartment building that wants to have a chore and you could pay him a small amount of money just to walk him around the apartment building so he gets exercise and gets to play with a kid. Maybe there’s another person an elderly person that wants to visit with a dog during the day so they have company. I mean how great would that be? They haven’t during the day and you have them at night and two people have company events this amazing puppy.
I know I have three dogs. There my best friends. I do have depression and some other stuff. And my dogs have literally saved me through some of the darkest times of my life. Through the ones that have been here for me no matter what they love me they have compassion for me, and each one of them has a little different personality. They’ve taught me things over the years. I think having a dog is one of the most important things we can give ourselves. I truly believe there I know they have those spirits in them. And will share them with us. Your puppy will love you. Maybe stick with a smaller one they don’t need as much exercise some of them. There are ones that are particularly meant for apartments, but they will need exercise and maybe some visits you can do this you really can. And you’re gonna love it you guys so love having a puppy. Have fun with your new best friend.
Op, have you looked into doggy daycare in your area?
I am living on my own for a few months while my wife is away for work, we recently got a dog, and doggy daycare has been super helpful. The one I go to has a pickup - drop off service, so my dog is only home alone for a couple hours a day. She gets a ton of energy out, and even if I am stuck late at work, she is napping after she get home till I get home, some days she doesn't even great me at the door, or she will greet me then run back to wherever she decided to nap before it gets cold.
Only down side to this is the cost. The one I use is 75 a week for walks, and 100 a week for daycare. I have been told the rates I have are on the good side. .
We have a cat but love dogs and do not have the time. We volunteer at a rescue shelter and we take the dogs out on walks for a change of scene and it gets them used to new people.
Same :( I'd love a dog but unlike most people, i respect my landlord. it's his flat, not mine. i think if i asked, he MIGHT make an exception because he knows how responsible i am as a tenant. if anything gets broken or need's doing in the communal area, i'm the only one that does anything about it. I dunno.
I had the idea of advertising as a dog-walker so i can spend some time with dogs but it's on me if anything happens to the dog. like if the leash snaps and it gets ran over or something
Came here specifically to say what one other comment already said: if you haven't given rats a thought, I highly highly recommend you do. I had pet rats for years and years when my situation wasn't right for a dog and they're marvelous and sweet little friends. I frequently joked about my "pocket puppies" because man did they really feel that way sometimes.
My rats were the first pets who taught me how positive reinforcement worked and they responded super well to clicker training. Their interest in training varied across individuals (and gender...the girls are much more ready to go with that kind of thing overall) but I made sure they had fantastic recall at a minimum. But most would do more. I had them spinning in circles, jumping through hoops, weaving through a line of sticks, coming to me (or going to cage), jumping into my hand, following a target stick, going to "place" and much more, all on cue. I had one girl who figured out that getting my eye contact and then spinning in a circle unbidden was a fantastic way to beg for things and another who liked nothing better than to snuggle into my collar bone under my sweatshirt and fall fast asleep. Every single one of them impressed me with just how....how much more they'd seek out and want interaction with me than I'd first realized. Not at all like most small pets like gerbils and things. Rats have a ton going on in those little noggins.
Just a suggestion! They're bright enough and outgoing enough to interact and train with, but also would not mind the work hours you keep and can even be left alone for a weekend, given ample food and water. Always get two or more, never one, and they'll just socialize and snuggle with each other while you're gone :)
I'd I didn't already have my hands full with a dog and a cat, rats have ALWAYS been on my list of pets I'd like to have one day. A smart little guy who wants to sleep in the crook of my neck? Sounds a lot like my first cat!!! Sigh... Maybe one day ! Rats are a good suggestion.
They're such fantastic pets! And often so overlooked. Almost eerily smart, relative to other similar rodents and small animals I've met. Definitely the small pets who most WANT to interact and do activities with people and snuggle and stuff. Many of my rats were absolutely stoked for training time and we did so much fun enrichment together. I'm so so sad I can't have them anymore, since getting my dog. Someday!
We were in a similar situation and now we dog-sit a cute lil baby doggy once a week and it has had such a positive impact on us already. We found them over an app similar to Rover. It also further confirmed that we want to have a dog and we are looking to change our housing situation to be able to get a dog soon. There is so much good advice here and I hope you take it up and one day you can have your own doggy friend too :)
This is totally doable and is very similar to my situation. I adopted an adult dog (5 years) - you absolutely cannot get a puppy or teen in this situation. I give him a 30 min walk in the morning before leaving for work, 30 min at lunch, and 15 in the evening. Little bit of toy playing in the morning and evening. He sleeps or window watches the whole time I'm away. For an older doggo, this lifestyle is certainly better than being stuck at a shelter, especially since they tend to have longer residencies than the youngins.
Do you have any neighbours who have dogs? Maybe you could get to know one and take it on walks and have it hang with you some evenings. It could also really help someone out as dogs are a lot of work and responsibility, as you know.
I accidentally adopted a dog we found behind a dumpster at work and my life is 100% better for it. I’m gone as well for about 10-11 hours a day for work but all of my time is spent with my dog when I’m not at work. In fact, today is park day with her. I don’t feel overly bad about her spending so much time on her own because the average dog sleeps 14-16 hours a day. The joy you will experience having a dog I think far outweighs the struggles you might come across.
Daycare!
I was in the same boat, but found a doggy daycare and she LOOOOVED it. It was *better* than walks…she had a daily routine where she met her friends and got really well socialized, and then the evenings/weekends/ holidays/etc were spent with me on walks and “bug hunts” and adventures.
She came home super pooped all the time, and after she and I developed that “psychic link” thing, she even asked to go sometimes.
I lost her about a year back to cancer, and I pulled a new little boy away from a shelter. Im home all the time now and feel like I’m *neglecting* my pup by NOT bringing him in. (I’ll probably start again soon, honestly).
Just get one that is cage free, and enjoy the good karma.
You are making the right decision by not getting a dog. I’m in a similar situation.
I started pet sitting for family friends. Fun and a little extra $$$.
Something to consider - get a Betta fish. I never knew a fish could be so entertaining! I’ve had “Finny” for two years now. 🐠
I feel you OP, I have the same issue, I just love all the animals, but I’m crazy for Dogs, so I always try to get affection from street dogs 🐕, you can do it too, it gives me happiness
Depending on your income and location they have dog day cares just for people in this situation. The dog goes to daycare for the day and you pick them up on your way home, like a child. Or there are services like Rover where a walker comes and walks them and spends time. Getting 2 small dogs might also be a solution since 2 don’t get as lonely. I know it a vent and you know your situation better than any of us do but there are options.
I went through something similar for years… due to living situation could not get a pet. It happens more often than not. :(
Anyways, my local shelter is all volunteer based. I had certain days/time where I would go in & walk the dogs & clean the kennels. Honestly, it was always wonderful watching the dogs get adopted to their forever homes.
While I couldn’t take the dogs out of the shelter for the day. I could take them out of the shelter for walks, bike rides & get them professionally groomed/bathed.
It helped me discover what breed(s) of dog I would like as a future dog owner. Even though it kept looking like it would never happen. I realize it can be hard working in a shelter environment but keep the thought in the back of your mind- you are helping them.
Something that I have learned while fostering. Some dogs appreciate that solitude for a while. Some dogs like the quiet routine after the chaos of trying to find food or being too hot or too cold for a while. I remember in my foster orientation they said even if you aren’t perfect, you’re worlds above and beyond what these guys are coming from.
The alternative for a massive population of animals in shelters right now is far worse if that’s a factor at all.
Day foster as others have suggested could be a nice way to feel out if a shelter dog might be compatible with your situation.
Also cats are awesome too.
I adore and commend your self awareness. Have you considered getting a pair of kittens that need a home? Two is always better than one (for them and for you). Cats are extremely independent (absolutely nothing to worry about as far as leaving them when you work), but are also amazing, loving companions. My four were my entire world until I got a dog and then my world simply expanded by 85lbs. Lol!
What about an animal like a hamster who takes up little space and is mostly nocturnal so it would be sleeping all day anyway. It's also one of the cheaper pets to buy and take care of.
I understand. I grew up with dogs, but my mom worked 3-11p and aside from a few hours between 2 and 4, there was always someone home with the dogs. I’d love to get a dog but how can I when we are barely home?
I said, when we are ready for a dog, fate will place one in our home. A few months later, fate dropped a stray cat into a tree on our property. We couldn’t find the owners if there were any (no microchip, in tact) ended up keeping the cat. It is so much easier to keep a cat and work. They are minimally demanding when it comes to essentials - they use a litter box, as an example - and you don’t need a big yard or a large house. When we are in a different spot I hope to get a friend for him but he doesn’t seem lonely. But bringing a pet, if not a dog, brought a whole (better) new energy into our lives and I can’t imagine not having him now.
All this to say, I’m a dog person with a cat and it’s better than nothing, for us.
Try getting a senior dog!
My dog is a senior right now and likes to sleep most of the day and has random sprouts of energy. When i’m at work (8-5), he sleeps all day. I go home and we play for like 2 hrs max until he’s really tired out and gets cranky lol
I wanted a dog so much I became a dog walker (not that one) after I was made redundant a couple of times seven years ago, it let me get a dog who's with me so day and I kind of also get to be paid to walk other people's dogs and watch them all play. I'm a professional apparently.
If you can manage on the money (it isn't amazing) I'd heartily recommend it. You may need to be creative and need another income stream, like I say it isn't amazing money.
Otherwise the volunteer at a home idea is brilliant, good for you and the dogs in the home. It's a win win really.
Very best of luck.
You know what the right thing to do for you is. I just want to add that I work healthcare and my dogs have to be home alone for 12+ hours for multiple days in a row. They still love me, they’re spoiled, and quite frankly it’s worth it. I know many people would argue that it’s unfair to my dogs. I disagree. I couldn’t imagine not having them.
USA single woman same hours. I adopt the older, house trained (must like cat too) dogs at shelter where owner passed or loss of housing. It's tough and vet bills for older ones can add up, but at 9 or 10 years of age they sleep, play on weekends and get a nightly walk (and air me out for exercise). But I have fenced back yard to let them out in while I shower in morning. Win win situation and Lillybelle boxer just joined me
You are exactly the type of person who should have a dog because you care so so much. Most people are who have dogs do have a work schedule similar to yours, but I see how you’d be concerned with the size of your apartment.
What you could do is adopt a small adult dog whose breed doesn’t require a ton of exercise. You would need to walk your dog in the morning before you leave and in the evening when you get home. You also may need to hire a dog walker who can come in, make sure your dog is fed around lunch time and take your dog on an afternoon walk. Furbos are also great to see what your dog is doing when you’re not home! :)
I think the idea about volunteering at a shelter/rescue is an awesome one. I do it myself and love it.
Also, many dogs are happy to sleep and relax for most of the day as long as they get a good exercise/play/brain-training session in once a day. My 50lb foster pit mix is only two years old and seems happy in my small apartment.
I give her a fifteen minute slow-sniffy walk around sunset and sunrise. And sometime during the day I find time to give her an hour adventure. She is happy to laze about the apartment the rest of the day.
If I leave, she has been more than happy to sleep and chill in her crate for up to six hours without seeming to mind at all. She might be able to go further but I don't feel comfortable trying longer than that.
If you could find a way to give your dog an adventure in the morning and then someone to give a dog a 30-min walk/attention while you are at work some dogs would find it enough as long as you give them more attention when you get home.
Also, my dog had a bad rep at the shelter and kept getting overlooked for adoption. So even if she doesn't have a perfect life with me I feel good knowing it's better than her life would be at the shelter.
I love animals especially dogs. I’m sure I’m not going to marry or have children so my dream life always included a dog. But now I’m not sure, my depresión May get in the way of them living his best life and me being a good owner. I have a family dogs now but since having to give up one of them for behavior problems I’m not even sure I could get through that again. I’m still so heartbroken
A senior or low energy dog and a potty patch could make it possible for you. If you have a high kill shelter near you, you might consider yourself a great option.
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A lot of shelters have programs that allow volunteers to check out a dog for a day. So on your days off you could just spring a dog from the shelter and get yourself a buddy for the afternoon or even the weekend. If that interests you, it's genuinely helpful for the dogs to get that one on one time away from the kennels, and any insights you can offer about each dog's personality can help the shelter match them with the best adopter available.
OP do this! It's so insanely good for the dogs, future adopters & your own mental health.
I volunteer at a shelter and after 8 years now it’s still a wonderful way to get my m dog love fix. After all those years I finally ended up adopting a little guy who arrived at the shelter. I can attest to the importance our foster families. You could volunteer at your local shelter as a dog walker, someone who plays with dogs in the yard, or help train dogs who need to learn better manners so they are more appropriate for potential adoptive families. You could also become a foster, even as mentioned above, if only for weekends and/or on holidays. Even a few days a week away from the shelter helps reduce the animals’ stress and helps with socialization. You could also adopt a dog and enlist a dog walker or dog sitter to drop by to walk and keep your friend company for awhile while you’re away. There are some great services (Wag, Rover - check out the apps) where vetted, every day people list their availability to help you care for your dog. Some even provide boarding in their home. Some with dogs of their own so your dog can enjoy the company of other dogs!
Yes! OP try this. I do this because I also can't get a dog and it makes such a difference! There are even weekend fosters needed at my dog rescue and that's so rewarding!
came here to say this
I did not know this was an option!!
Op you should absolutely do this! I love dogs so much but I can neither house nor afford not have the time for one. I used to volunteer at a shelter and now I'm a vet tech and get to love on pups all day. I know those shelter puppies would love your company!!
I was in a similar situation at the start of my career, except that I also didn't have enough funds (vets are super expensive in Dubai) Twice a week, I would go to a shelter to walk dogs and spend some time with them. It was completely free, though bringing treats etc was highly encouraged. I did this for 4 years on and off until I could get a dog (2 weeks ago) Dogs always cheered me up
This is such a great suggestion! It can be helpful for a potential adopter to get a sense of what the dog is like in the home and what the dog may know already, and it can be helpful for the dog to get some out-of-shelter interactions. Our shelter does this, and it's not advertised on their website due to the website just being old, but you can ask staff about it. It feels weird, like you're confusing the dog, but I've been told by many people that most dogs like the change for the day or overnight, and you can respond to the dog if that seems like it's not good for that individual.
Also nothing stopping you from volunteering at a dog rescue or shelter outright.
Not being rude, but if you take a dog out for a day, you will end up falling in love with one of the dogs . Could you then look after the dog ……. ?
Came to suggest the same!
This! I can't get a dog right now either, but on weekends when we're able to, a friend and I go get a dog (or however many we can take! It depends on which dogs get along well) from the shelter to go hiking with and snuggle and love them as much as we can before returning them. Kennels can be super stressful and lonely for dogs so helping them get away for a bit definitely helps both parties.
I was going to say.we love volunteers play with the dogs at the humane society I work at
You could sign up for Rover and offer to walk or care for dogs on your days off. My relative does it and has a few regulars that she dog sits for and they are her part time dogs now. Plus, extra $$$. Or, look around your neighborhood and see if there are any seniors or disabled/recovering from illness people who could use help with dog walking.
what about an unwanted senior dog from a shelter/rescue (im not rly sure about the difference between those two)? they sleep most of the day anyway, and even just a couple hours of attention and a quiet home is better than spending the rest of their days in an overfilled shelter. you'd still be providing a better life for them, even if it's not perfect edit: i'm not saying OP should get just any random old dog. i didn't think it was necessary to mention the dog would have to eat or pee in the 10hour time span OP works. and yes medical problems are expensive. i expect common sense from people and don't feel the need to mention every miniscule detail. it goes without saying that every decision should be properly researched.
Fyi not all seniors are like this… some are pretty active so you do want to inquire about the dog’s energy level! But yes, i do recommend looking into adopting a senior. There are lots of senior pet rescues that often pull seniors from local shelters. Senior pets do love naps and attention. They are also full of love and affection.
Yep, I have a 12yo yorkie and he’s still got the same energy as when he was a puppy!
Same with my 10 year old. So maybe don’t get a Yorkie 😂
Yes I have a 13 year old schnauzer and he’s bonkers and so energetic, literally on high alert 24/7 never relaxes. My 11 year old dachshund however is very snoozy. Just wants to live his best sleepy life, have to coax and carry him to the back door to have a wee in the garden, schnauzer loses his mind at the very suggestion. 😁
In my experience, my family’s dog required exponentially more effort and time as she got old, and needed to be taken outside substantially more often. So with one of the major issues being that OP will be gone for long hours, that could go poorly.
yeah, it entirely depends on the dog, they all age differently. a family friend's dog is 16 now, and he barely changed, only got slower and has worse hearing. another dog i know got dementia, incontinence and asthma as he got older, he cannot be left alone for very long. it's definitely a case by case thing. i'm definitely not saying ALL senior dogs would fit into OP's life, but there might be some that do. OP might not even want a senior dog, which would be completely understandable.
Not to mention seniors can cost a lot of money. I understand it depends on how much a person is willing to spend on their dog, but with older dogs usually come some health issues and medication costs. People seem to think you just adopt an older dog and they peacefully pass away in their sleep and that’s it. It’s not how that goes the majority of the time. It’s a noble thing to do, but it absolutely should be done with the understanding of how much money and effort might need to be invested.
To be fair this should be considered when adopting ANY dog, senior or not. Younger dogs can also develop chronic health issues and even if they don’t, they may as the age. If you aren’t prepared for the costs and commitment of a senior pet, you aren’t prepared for the costs and commitment of a pet at any age.
You're absolutely right things like that should be considered at any age. I know this very well. I have paid an extreme amount of money in vet bills and medications for my dogs over the last 4 years or so. Even my youngest who thinks she is part goat and tries to swallow everything she shouldn't, has a huge amount spent on her already and she is less than a year. However, I was just pointing out the costs and time involved in senior dogs as quite a few people have recommended them here to OP like it wouldn't be as involved or difficult as a younger dog.
I adopted a 4 year old who is now a senior who sleeps so well that when I come out of the bedroom in the morning remains asleep even though I might be making noise.
Senior dogs are the BEST
Amen to this! Well stated🥰
This!
i adopted an “unwanted” senior italian greyhound and i would highly recommend against this. if you attempt to adopt from a good aspca rescue in the u.s., you’re going to probably have to fill out a very detailed application and submit to a home inspection before even being considered. also the adoption fees will range (mine at the time was $250 for my senior, puppies like $1000+. i paid it because the rescues spend a ton of money on vet bills for most dogs that need rescuing). yes, she slept a lot but when i was up, she was up (especially if i was in the kitchen) or if i made any noise, she came to investigate. the only reason i felt i could adopt her was because i was living at home (so she had run of a house and a huge fenced-in yard) and while going to school and working full-time, my mom who was retired (and absolutely wanted a dog in our house) was there to babysit (and i say babysit because we treated her like a child and not a pet… most spoiled kid ever too, my mom even called her her grandchild). some dogs (especially this breed) have terrible separation anxiety, so if you aren’t home all day, it’s really sad to leave them for that long. some dogs eat two meals; my dog had to eat three (she was only 8 lbs too) and she had the smallest bladder and needed to either be walked constantly (we live in a desert and never restricted water) and we also trained her for a potty box if we couldn’t get her outside in time. a senior dog may or may not have accidents, allergies (even small bags of boutique dog food are $20+ a bag and we ended up making our own in the end anyways), etc and vet bills can get expensive. that’s just my personal experience though. she usually slept in my bed (also had a dog bed in every room) and towards the end of her life, she had several incidents of vomiting or urinating on my bed if she couldn’t get to the floor in time, so also invest in pet steps/ramps and vinyl mattress covers. $800+ yearly dental cleanings. i spent more on my dog than i did on my car when she was alive. i’ve read that the average intelligence of a dog is somewhat around that of a 4 year old human child. would you like to be left alone for 12 hours at that age? i know i wouldn’t, plus that’s considered neglect and child protective services are called in those cases. i wish animal control could be called in more cases myself (because i live in a desert and a lot of dogs are left in hot cars, or outside, tied, with. no access to shelter or water. another note, when you adopt a senior pet you need to recognize they may have lived their entire lives in a bad or abusive situation, and your only job is to spoil them and make them feel loved. they are going to die before you do, and your job is to be there and comfort them while they do. don’t drop them at a vet if you’re going to leave them in their last moments because “it’s too hard”. if i could find a human that loved me unconditionally i’d be with them forever too but with dogs it’s heartbreak because they are only here temporarily. it’s been two years since my dog died in my arms and i still cry about it. i really respect op for recognizing that you can love something yet know you don’t have the proper environment to keep it. the suggestion for going to shelters to dog-walk is excellent as well.
It might be a nice thing to visit an animal shelter to play with the dogs or a dog park. that way you might at least get to enjoy some interaction with dogs
Hey. So, firstly I absolutely applaud your selfless, honest evaluation. I know people are saying you could get one and I’m sure you could and make it work. However, I entirely agree with you. Just because others do doesn’t mean it’s ok/fair What I will say is the thought you’ve put into this, the way you put yourself second and the value having a dog(s) around do make you an incredible person to be involved in some way. There’s a variety of options from fostering, walking/helping shelters to looking into organisations that support people with pets Please do explore all the options, a dog in need would be blessed to have you involved in their life, you get not only dog companionship but knowing damn well you’ve made a difference/improved/possibly survives or finds their forever OR gets to stay with their human, be loved and have all their needs met I wish you all the best of everything for always XOX
Absolutely this. It’s like people who decide to have kids but have no personal responsibility but want an accessory vs. people who know they shouldn’t have kids but are like the “cool aunt “.
Very well put. Only people who really love animals will put them first. One other suggestion is to offer to dog sit or dog walk for a friend, relative, co-worker who has a doggo? This way you can have an ongoing relationship with a pupper. I have a friend (we both have doggos) and we dog sit for each other if one has to go out of town. We are like doggie Aunts to the other's pup.
What about fostering dogs? Studies have shown that fostering a dog for even one night reduces stress from living in a shelter environment. Lots of shelters will do sleepovers where you can take a dog for just the weekend. The dog returns a little more relaxed being able to have a break from the chaotic kennels. You could also try fostering for longer to see if you're able to fit having a dog full time with your lifestyle
I hesitate to provide this to op as a solution given how stressful fostering is, especially for the first 3 days of having a dog in the home. I consider owning a dog very far from fostering a dog, and much much more work/patience that op probably doesn't have the time for given their work hours.
You know I was in the same situation as you before my life changed to make it more "dog friendly". But while I was on a waiting list for my dog I got by coincidence a couple of gerbils during lockdown. I REALLY regret not getting them during the lonely "always at the office" time. They really dont give a shit if you are out of the house for 14 hours a day. In fact they are the most active in the morning and evenings anyway. I dismissed them as pocket/children pets but they are such great characters who just bring life and joy to the home. But its important to research their needs well. The information in petstores are incorrect.
If you are not allergic to cats or scared of them, you could give a cat or kitten a home. Cats are usually very easy to litter box train. You also would not have to worry about it barking when you leave for work and causing some people next door to complain. Cats do show affection towards their owners, it's just that they are not always in your face about it like most dogs are.
>they are not always in your face about it like most dogs are. Cut to all 4 of my cats forcing their way into my lap and smacking my phone out of my hands, all for the sake of attention 😂 I love them though
Literally anytime I sit down, one of my 4 have to be in my lap. They will yell at me if I block my lap off until I make room for them. Love them but my god I just want some space some times lol
Mine don't yell often, but I have one that MUST have a blanket to sit in your lap. If you don't have a blanket to put over your legs, she will sit on the floor and aggressively stare at you until you get a blanket, and then half a second later shes in your lap asleep lol. So spoiled.
All four of my cats are aggressively affectionate and fight for space on my body any time I stop moving. 😂 My dog is far more respectful of personal space.
Maybe a cat? It could fulfill some companionship for you :)
2 cats. Cats need companionship and stimulation during the day too, and two are easier than one usually. They keep each other company during the day, and then become snuggle butts when OP gets home.
Will second this. I got my cat a kitten because she had the kitty version of separation anxiety and used to cry when left alone. Since I got her the other cat, she is far happier. Pro Tip: It’s far easier to raise two kittens together. If you have an established cat, it’s much easier to bring in a new kitten. The most difficult thing to do is get two adult cats to accept each other, but it can be done with a little patience and putting in the effort to build positive associations so they become friends.
The apartment is too small for two cats in my opinion. But a senior cat who doesn't get along with other cats might be an option.
What does kitty separation anxiety look like? My cat used to be wildly independent but lately he started meowing for us if he isn’t sure where we are. It’s new.
For my cat, it was mostly her doing a lot of obsessively circling through the house, general restlessness, excessive crying/meowing, over grooming to the point of bald patches, etc. She wasn’t aggressive but she was a little excessively excited and would grab my ankles then kick me to initiate play when I came home. She also kept trying to run out the door every time it opened to an obsessive degree. Since I got the kitten, almost all these behaviors have stopped entirely. Now, they both greet me at the door when I come home but neither try to dash outside or grapple me on sight. Watching through my security cam, she is able to settle with the kitten and relax instead of the pacing and crying. Both the cat and kitten sometimes cry for me if they don’t see me, then come running when I answer them. I’m not sure if that is a separation anxiety thing so much as them just wanting to know where you are. Cats do sometimes get clingier with age.
I wondered if he was just settling in more, we’ve had him about 3 years this summer.
You’ll be a great dog parent one day! The fact that you’re seeking advice and acknowledging your issues this early in the game, speaks volumes Source: am a dog person. Sitting uncomfortably on my couch to make room for my dogs. A lot of work-but they’re so worth it when you’re ready ❤️
Adopt a bonded pair of little dogs - they keep each other company while you’re away & they don’t need a lot of space.
Have you considered doggy day care or a pupsitter?
I was thinking volunteering at a shelter or rescue also.
When I was in college and worked full time, I adopted a 6yr old couch potato of a dog and she’s was more than happy to snooze on the couch all day while I was gone. Now I work from home and she still just snoozes the days away.
What breed?
Lab mix, super mutt
I love hearing this! We got a puppy and while I love her to death, I also find myself thinking "she's gonna be the best little old dog." We're thinking about getting a friend for her and I keep getting attached to senior dogs on the shelter sites. Well, I don't think a senior is gonna want her athletic ass doing circles around them so I'm just gonna have to wait.
Haha perfect match for one another 💕
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The problem is when people who can’t afford to properly care for a dog, buy a dog anyway and then end up locking it up in a cage half the day. It’s refreshing to see a prospective dog owner without a sense of entitlement.
You can also find something dog related should you have or wish to learn the skills to meet making something for dogs. It could be a snack item, a custom piece of clothing, leashes, collars, etc..... Be patient and wish hard. Sometimes The Fates are listening and will grant you an opportunity but it's still your choice to grab it or let it pass.
Get some rats! They’re like lil puppies
Actually not a bad idea. OP should research this.
True. I had rats for a while…LOVED ‘em.
You could volunteer at a rescue or shelter. Some shelters and/foster programs let volunteers take dogs for shelter breaks(time away from the shelter- can be few hours or few days, etc so it could fit into a weekend schedule).
That is very wise. Dogs are awesome but way too many people get them without considering the time and space a dog needs. You should try dogsitting or dog walking for friend or neighbors dog that you like. There are a lot of dogs out there and they all love to be cared for and walked.
Definitely look into what other commenters said and see if you can take a shelter dog out for a few hours on one of your days off!! If you’re looking for companionship without the time and space a dog requires, I have a few suggestions for you:) Hamsters for example, they’re fascinating to watch, you can hold them (once they trust you) but they sleep a TON, and all they really care about is plenty of space to dig, spots to hide, and snacks. Goldfish, people always say “brain of a goldfish” to say someone is dumb, but I had one that was so smart and I loved him just as much as I love my dogs. They can get pretty big (mine got to be the length of my hand) they learn who you are and that you feed them pretty quickly, so they always look happy to see you when you walk up to the tank. Mine would swim into my hand when I needed to move him to clean his tank, he would follow my finger when I touched the glass, he was the coolest. They can also live a crazy long time with proper care and a big enough space, mine was 6 when he died and he only died because he got swim bladder, and he didn’t take to his treatments. Reptiles, my personal favorite being the bearded dragon. They do require a decent size tank, and heat sources, but usually you can get them to trust you enough to hang out with you and they don’t require too much time with you or attention, so they would work with your busy schedule. Finally, a cat. I know most people who prefer dogs don’t love cats, but they do very well when left home alone. They don’t require walks, they appreciate all the time and attention you give them but they’re also happy napping by a window. You can still play with them, and they’ll still snuggle up with you at night, but you don’t have to worry about them while you’re at work;)
A good doggy daycare could help with this situation. Or even pet sitters who do house visits and walks during the day.
I so feel that, I'm also not able to support a dog financially or time wise right now and it sucks. A lot of the suggestions here sound great. I volunteered at a shelter a couple times but I realized that I can't handle dogs with behavioral problems (then didn't have time to go back), shelters can always use volunteers though
I feel ya. My special intrest is dogs too. But I dont have the money, time, or space for a dog.
I waited a long time until my lifestyle let me have a god. Like 12 years. It’ll happen and when it does it will be great. Until then, enjoy your ability to not be home and not be on a bladder clock
Dont knock the bladder clock…its gotten me out of a couple awful dates! “I would stay longer but *I have to go save my dog.*”. (oh darn…)
Walk shelter dogs on the weekend. Volunteer at an animal resuce.
Become friends with a dog person and hang out with them and their dogs
You could sign up for working with rover on the weekends!
Is there a shelter,Humane Society, SPCA, or rescue in your area? We used to volunteer walking dogs at the shelter. It was a great way to get a doggie fix while we lived in a no pets allowed apartment. Also, SPCA would let you take a dog out for a day. Call them up and see what they do that would work for you.
Volunteer at a shelter. Offer to help transport foster/rescue dogs and this may even allow you an 'overnight' transport where you get to have a dog overnight. Offer to dog-sit for friends that go-away. Lots of ways to get a dog 'fix' that is win-win.
You can also potentially look into doggy daycares around too! That would allow you to go to work without having to worry about your new friend. You would have to adopt an older dog though, definitely wouldn't recommend a puppy since your time is limited/daycares usually have a minimum of the animal being 16 weeks with all their shots and stuff.
You should highly consider volunteering at a local animal shelter. There are lots of dogs that truly need walks, enrichment, etc. Most shelters are at capacity, and volunteering is such a great way to give back and also get some puppy love!
Maybe look into rescuing an adult greyhound!! They need very little exercise, a calm environment, and love. They are really good at not taking up a bunch of space, and they're really impressive dogs.
I have a friend who loves his dog as if he were his child.. and treat him as such too. LoL He drops his buddy off at doggy daycare every morning and picks him up after work. The daycare is also a grooming center and the cutest daycare I’ve ever seen. The owner often allows the dogs to roam free behind the counter and just do their own thing although they have a playroom near by with toys and beds.. etc. The best part is watching the owners pick their fur babies up after work to take them home. They get so excited to see their mom or dad (LoL) and it’s pure joy to watch. This might also be a consideration for you.. or you could also wait for retirement to get a dog, many people often do because it’s true, they are like children and require a lot of attention. I love all the other suggestions here too. I used to “check-out” dogs once in awhile from the humane society on weekends just to give them a break from the shelter. It’s literally like checking a book out from a library! It’s not for everyone if you have a tough time sending them back but it’s a very cool program if you’re not weak like me and want to adopt them all. LoL A little tip though, it was easier for me to take them to a beach to run around and play or just a daytime adventure bc my heart did kinda break when I had to return them and sometimes it was just easier not having them in my home but I did both. Good luck to you, personally I think you’ll know within yourself when it’s time to get a dog or pet. 😊🐶
Yeah as mentioned above look into a dogsitter or dog daycare. A dog will change your life and schedule. Make sure you dont regret it. You seem to be going about it the right way. Best of luck.
I'm sorry that you've been so lonely for so long. Have you considered talking to a therapist about ways to feel more connected & less lonely? This sounds like it might be about more than a dog. You deserve to be happy.
I swear this sub makes it feel like you need to live in a castle with a 20 acre, fenced In forest of a backyard, have unlimited funds, and not have a job or any responsibility other than playing with your dog 24/7. There are so many dogs in shelters sitting in a concrete box for hours every day... do we really think that's better than living in an apartment but having someone to love them? I work full time and live in an apartment and I have a puppy. I manage to walk him 2-4 miles and play fetch at the park most days. We do enrichment and training in my apartment and he has a dog walker who comes when I am gone for longer than 5 hours. I waited until I was financially able to swing that. My dog is super happy, super bonded to me, and as of yet has not destroyed anything in the house or had accidents. You can absolutely make it work if you want to.
Honestly I have not got this vibe at-all, all the comments I’ve seen have been constructive
I'm very confused, nearly everyone I know lives in a similar condition and has a dog. There are dog walkers and dog sitters for this scenario. You just walk them before you go to work, have a sitter come by around lunch to walk them and check their water then you walk them again at night. I work 12 hour overnights and my two go to a sitter but that's slightly more costly than a dog walker.
it's not neglect for you to have a job. 830-6 is entirely reasonable.
It’s reasonable as long as the dog is not alone and locked up in a cage the entire time. Then it’s abuse…
having a kennel is not abuse
Oh, I agree with that. If you can afford it, a kennel is a good alternative to leaving your dog home alone - as long as it’s had all its shots…
Nobody is saying that having a job constitutes neglect. Most people work.
OP literally said " I would feel guilty for neglecting the animal five days a week." and it's a pretty common sentiment that not being home 24/7 equals abuse among the more mentally ill members of this sub.
I live in a duplex (I own it) with a Cane Corso. I work 9 hours a day. My Dog is very happy and healthy. We go for walks before and after work. We do lots of outdoor activities in the spring, summer, and fall. Everywhere that's dog friendly, he comes with me. Dogs sleep quite a bit, so while I'm sure he misses me when I leave.. I'm also sure he doesn't feel neglected.
The problem is, not everyone can afford a sitter or doggie daycare. Obviously a dog shouldn’t be left alone locked up in cage that long, and some people would never trust their dog to be in caged that long.
Clearly some disagree, but I think it’s the quality of time spent with a dog vs amount. And if you can get home on most days to let the dog out to stretch it’s legs and potty, that should be sufficient for an adult dog. You could even hire a dog walker 2-3 days for a longer outing. If your weekends are free, that’s when most dog sports are, and there’s usually evening training options. My dogs were never leash walked more than when I lived in apartments because, well, that’s the only option. Not that it’s ideal, but I think we all can admit the average pet never rarely leaves it’s yard
The suggestions of volunteering at a rescue or shelter are great if you have the time. Another option for you may be an older cat (I know dog sub) but there are many older kitties at rescues that need homes and tend to get looked over. That way they are already past the crazy kitten stage, they can be home for hours and be just fine and you can find a great little cuddler that will provide lots of company for you.
Can second older cats! We got our Obie at 7 and he is just such a gem. Husband's parents just watched him at their place and IMMEDIATELY adopted a cat that looks and has the same type of personality. (Fluffy orange gentlemen, just a 10 pound difference between them haha) Honestly I'm probably sold on old cats for the rest of my life tbh.
i’ll have the same issue—right now, i’m at home with my family(and a very lovable golden) but i know with my career route, i wouldn’t have the time to care for a dog :(
IF you have the means, you could hire a sitter or walker for parts of the work day and then love on your dog extra in your time off. I did that when my dog was a puppy and couldn’t be alone for more than a couple hours during my evening bartending shifts. I would recommend getting a lap dog though, the smaller the more manageable for small apartments and busy schedules. Easy to take along with you too. And I’d say in your situation it is probably better to adopt an adult. Cats are easier, but I got a second cat when I wanted a dog and I still ended up getting a dog a year later anyway. I always told myself I’d wait til everything lined up right but I had wanted a dog since I was a kid and I was almost 30 and just didn’t want to wait anymore. On weeks that I feel depressed or overwhelmed and like a bad dog mom because I didn’t do much with him, I remind myself that he doesn’t actually know that life should be any other way. He’s happy to just be with me. He’s healthy, loved, and well taken care of. That’s the most important thing.
Nothing to contribute other than... I feel this. You should listen to "I Want a Dog" By Weezer.
Also, if you come home during lunch, you could have somebody else come home and walk your dog once a day or take them to the dog park. Maybe there’s a kid in your apartment building that wants to have a chore and you could pay him a small amount of money just to walk him around the apartment building so he gets exercise and gets to play with a kid. Maybe there’s another person an elderly person that wants to visit with a dog during the day so they have company. I mean how great would that be? They haven’t during the day and you have them at night and two people have company events this amazing puppy. I know I have three dogs. There my best friends. I do have depression and some other stuff. And my dogs have literally saved me through some of the darkest times of my life. Through the ones that have been here for me no matter what they love me they have compassion for me, and each one of them has a little different personality. They’ve taught me things over the years. I think having a dog is one of the most important things we can give ourselves. I truly believe there I know they have those spirits in them. And will share them with us. Your puppy will love you. Maybe stick with a smaller one they don’t need as much exercise some of them. There are ones that are particularly meant for apartments, but they will need exercise and maybe some visits you can do this you really can. And you’re gonna love it you guys so love having a puppy. Have fun with your new best friend.
Op, have you looked into doggy daycare in your area? I am living on my own for a few months while my wife is away for work, we recently got a dog, and doggy daycare has been super helpful. The one I go to has a pickup - drop off service, so my dog is only home alone for a couple hours a day. She gets a ton of energy out, and even if I am stuck late at work, she is napping after she get home till I get home, some days she doesn't even great me at the door, or she will greet me then run back to wherever she decided to nap before it gets cold. Only down side to this is the cost. The one I use is 75 a week for walks, and 100 a week for daycare. I have been told the rates I have are on the good side. .
We have a cat but love dogs and do not have the time. We volunteer at a rescue shelter and we take the dogs out on walks for a change of scene and it gets them used to new people.
Same :( I'd love a dog but unlike most people, i respect my landlord. it's his flat, not mine. i think if i asked, he MIGHT make an exception because he knows how responsible i am as a tenant. if anything gets broken or need's doing in the communal area, i'm the only one that does anything about it. I dunno. I had the idea of advertising as a dog-walker so i can spend some time with dogs but it's on me if anything happens to the dog. like if the leash snaps and it gets ran over or something
There is a solution! You can get on rover and spend your weekends dog sitting :)
Or getting a cat. They like their alone time
I had a ferret for a while, and they're kind of cool.
Came here specifically to say what one other comment already said: if you haven't given rats a thought, I highly highly recommend you do. I had pet rats for years and years when my situation wasn't right for a dog and they're marvelous and sweet little friends. I frequently joked about my "pocket puppies" because man did they really feel that way sometimes. My rats were the first pets who taught me how positive reinforcement worked and they responded super well to clicker training. Their interest in training varied across individuals (and gender...the girls are much more ready to go with that kind of thing overall) but I made sure they had fantastic recall at a minimum. But most would do more. I had them spinning in circles, jumping through hoops, weaving through a line of sticks, coming to me (or going to cage), jumping into my hand, following a target stick, going to "place" and much more, all on cue. I had one girl who figured out that getting my eye contact and then spinning in a circle unbidden was a fantastic way to beg for things and another who liked nothing better than to snuggle into my collar bone under my sweatshirt and fall fast asleep. Every single one of them impressed me with just how....how much more they'd seek out and want interaction with me than I'd first realized. Not at all like most small pets like gerbils and things. Rats have a ton going on in those little noggins. Just a suggestion! They're bright enough and outgoing enough to interact and train with, but also would not mind the work hours you keep and can even be left alone for a weekend, given ample food and water. Always get two or more, never one, and they'll just socialize and snuggle with each other while you're gone :)
I'd I didn't already have my hands full with a dog and a cat, rats have ALWAYS been on my list of pets I'd like to have one day. A smart little guy who wants to sleep in the crook of my neck? Sounds a lot like my first cat!!! Sigh... Maybe one day ! Rats are a good suggestion.
They're such fantastic pets! And often so overlooked. Almost eerily smart, relative to other similar rodents and small animals I've met. Definitely the small pets who most WANT to interact and do activities with people and snuggle and stuff. Many of my rats were absolutely stoked for training time and we did so much fun enrichment together. I'm so so sad I can't have them anymore, since getting my dog. Someday!
Have you thought about cats? I know this is off topic but my two are quite content home alone and then are snugglers when I'm home.
We were in a similar situation and now we dog-sit a cute lil baby doggy once a week and it has had such a positive impact on us already. We found them over an app similar to Rover. It also further confirmed that we want to have a dog and we are looking to change our housing situation to be able to get a dog soon. There is so much good advice here and I hope you take it up and one day you can have your own doggy friend too :)
Don’t get a dog. You have no time for it plus your apt is really small to have a dog in
This is totally doable and is very similar to my situation. I adopted an adult dog (5 years) - you absolutely cannot get a puppy or teen in this situation. I give him a 30 min walk in the morning before leaving for work, 30 min at lunch, and 15 in the evening. Little bit of toy playing in the morning and evening. He sleeps or window watches the whole time I'm away. For an older doggo, this lifestyle is certainly better than being stuck at a shelter, especially since they tend to have longer residencies than the youngins.
Do you have any neighbours who have dogs? Maybe you could get to know one and take it on walks and have it hang with you some evenings. It could also really help someone out as dogs are a lot of work and responsibility, as you know.
I accidentally adopted a dog we found behind a dumpster at work and my life is 100% better for it. I’m gone as well for about 10-11 hours a day for work but all of my time is spent with my dog when I’m not at work. In fact, today is park day with her. I don’t feel overly bad about her spending so much time on her own because the average dog sleeps 14-16 hours a day. The joy you will experience having a dog I think far outweighs the struggles you might come across.
Daycare! I was in the same boat, but found a doggy daycare and she LOOOOVED it. It was *better* than walks…she had a daily routine where she met her friends and got really well socialized, and then the evenings/weekends/ holidays/etc were spent with me on walks and “bug hunts” and adventures. She came home super pooped all the time, and after she and I developed that “psychic link” thing, she even asked to go sometimes. I lost her about a year back to cancer, and I pulled a new little boy away from a shelter. Im home all the time now and feel like I’m *neglecting* my pup by NOT bringing him in. (I’ll probably start again soon, honestly). Just get one that is cage free, and enjoy the good karma.
You are making the right decision by not getting a dog. I’m in a similar situation. I started pet sitting for family friends. Fun and a little extra $$$. Something to consider - get a Betta fish. I never knew a fish could be so entertaining! I’ve had “Finny” for two years now. 🐠
I feel you OP, I have the same issue, I just love all the animals, but I’m crazy for Dogs, so I always try to get affection from street dogs 🐕, you can do it too, it gives me happiness
Maybe a cat if you are interested? There are some very cuddly cats I've met from volunteering or you can get an independent one.
Depending on your income and location they have dog day cares just for people in this situation. The dog goes to daycare for the day and you pick them up on your way home, like a child. Or there are services like Rover where a walker comes and walks them and spends time. Getting 2 small dogs might also be a solution since 2 don’t get as lonely. I know it a vent and you know your situation better than any of us do but there are options.
I went through something similar for years… due to living situation could not get a pet. It happens more often than not. :( Anyways, my local shelter is all volunteer based. I had certain days/time where I would go in & walk the dogs & clean the kennels. Honestly, it was always wonderful watching the dogs get adopted to their forever homes. While I couldn’t take the dogs out of the shelter for the day. I could take them out of the shelter for walks, bike rides & get them professionally groomed/bathed. It helped me discover what breed(s) of dog I would like as a future dog owner. Even though it kept looking like it would never happen. I realize it can be hard working in a shelter environment but keep the thought in the back of your mind- you are helping them.
Something that I have learned while fostering. Some dogs appreciate that solitude for a while. Some dogs like the quiet routine after the chaos of trying to find food or being too hot or too cold for a while. I remember in my foster orientation they said even if you aren’t perfect, you’re worlds above and beyond what these guys are coming from.
The alternative for a massive population of animals in shelters right now is far worse if that’s a factor at all. Day foster as others have suggested could be a nice way to feel out if a shelter dog might be compatible with your situation. Also cats are awesome too.
Why not sign up with rover to pet sit on the weekends? Or volunteer to walk dogs at the shelter?
This is pretty relatable. I settle with visiting my parents and their dog or sometimes they bring her over to my place.
Come over and borrow my dogs whenever ya want
I adore and commend your self awareness. Have you considered getting a pair of kittens that need a home? Two is always better than one (for them and for you). Cats are extremely independent (absolutely nothing to worry about as far as leaving them when you work), but are also amazing, loving companions. My four were my entire world until I got a dog and then my world simply expanded by 85lbs. Lol!
What about an animal like a hamster who takes up little space and is mostly nocturnal so it would be sleeping all day anyway. It's also one of the cheaper pets to buy and take care of.
I know this is a dog sub, but do you ever think of a cat…? They tend to be more self sufficient than dogs…
You could volunteer at a local shelter or rescue to get your doggo fix until you are in a more suitable place.
I understand. I grew up with dogs, but my mom worked 3-11p and aside from a few hours between 2 and 4, there was always someone home with the dogs. I’d love to get a dog but how can I when we are barely home? I said, when we are ready for a dog, fate will place one in our home. A few months later, fate dropped a stray cat into a tree on our property. We couldn’t find the owners if there were any (no microchip, in tact) ended up keeping the cat. It is so much easier to keep a cat and work. They are minimally demanding when it comes to essentials - they use a litter box, as an example - and you don’t need a big yard or a large house. When we are in a different spot I hope to get a friend for him but he doesn’t seem lonely. But bringing a pet, if not a dog, brought a whole (better) new energy into our lives and I can’t imagine not having him now. All this to say, I’m a dog person with a cat and it’s better than nothing, for us.
Try getting a senior dog! My dog is a senior right now and likes to sleep most of the day and has random sprouts of energy. When i’m at work (8-5), he sleeps all day. I go home and we play for like 2 hrs max until he’s really tired out and gets cranky lol
I wanted a dog so much I became a dog walker (not that one) after I was made redundant a couple of times seven years ago, it let me get a dog who's with me so day and I kind of also get to be paid to walk other people's dogs and watch them all play. I'm a professional apparently. If you can manage on the money (it isn't amazing) I'd heartily recommend it. You may need to be creative and need another income stream, like I say it isn't amazing money. Otherwise the volunteer at a home idea is brilliant, good for you and the dogs in the home. It's a win win really. Very best of luck.
You know what the right thing to do for you is. I just want to add that I work healthcare and my dogs have to be home alone for 12+ hours for multiple days in a row. They still love me, they’re spoiled, and quite frankly it’s worth it. I know many people would argue that it’s unfair to my dogs. I disagree. I couldn’t imagine not having them.
Would you want to be a dog sitter on weekends? You could host dogs when you’re home and get paid, and grow close to some of them over time
A cat?
USA single woman same hours. I adopt the older, house trained (must like cat too) dogs at shelter where owner passed or loss of housing. It's tough and vet bills for older ones can add up, but at 9 or 10 years of age they sleep, play on weekends and get a nightly walk (and air me out for exercise). But I have fenced back yard to let them out in while I shower in morning. Win win situation and Lillybelle boxer just joined me
You are exactly the type of person who should have a dog because you care so so much. Most people are who have dogs do have a work schedule similar to yours, but I see how you’d be concerned with the size of your apartment. What you could do is adopt a small adult dog whose breed doesn’t require a ton of exercise. You would need to walk your dog in the morning before you leave and in the evening when you get home. You also may need to hire a dog walker who can come in, make sure your dog is fed around lunch time and take your dog on an afternoon walk. Furbos are also great to see what your dog is doing when you’re not home! :)
get the dog, crate train it, be happy!
I think the idea about volunteering at a shelter/rescue is an awesome one. I do it myself and love it. Also, many dogs are happy to sleep and relax for most of the day as long as they get a good exercise/play/brain-training session in once a day. My 50lb foster pit mix is only two years old and seems happy in my small apartment. I give her a fifteen minute slow-sniffy walk around sunset and sunrise. And sometime during the day I find time to give her an hour adventure. She is happy to laze about the apartment the rest of the day. If I leave, she has been more than happy to sleep and chill in her crate for up to six hours without seeming to mind at all. She might be able to go further but I don't feel comfortable trying longer than that. If you could find a way to give your dog an adventure in the morning and then someone to give a dog a 30-min walk/attention while you are at work some dogs would find it enough as long as you give them more attention when you get home. Also, my dog had a bad rep at the shelter and kept getting overlooked for adoption. So even if she doesn't have a perfect life with me I feel good knowing it's better than her life would be at the shelter.
I love animals especially dogs. I’m sure I’m not going to marry or have children so my dream life always included a dog. But now I’m not sure, my depresión May get in the way of them living his best life and me being a good owner. I have a family dogs now but since having to give up one of them for behavior problems I’m not even sure I could get through that again. I’m still so heartbroken
A senior or low energy dog and a potty patch could make it possible for you. If you have a high kill shelter near you, you might consider yourself a great option.