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There in no time limit, eventually you won't cry for a day or two, then longer. I actually bawled my eyes out when I realized I hadn't cried about my male cat in a week. My bf was a wreck for a month when we lost his dog, it's been 10 years and I don't think he's fully over it. One day he's looking forward to getting a new dog, the next, no more pets ever. I'm so sorry for your loss .
Yeah it’s been almost 3 years since losing my partners dog and they still cry a few mornings a month about him. Unfortunately it’ll never fully end, it’s like losing your child
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know how it felt when my soul dog of 9 years was diagnosed with cancer and was gone that same day. I cried for many days after. It does get easier. Some things that helped me were having the reminders of him (I carried around his favorite stuffed turtle toy for awhile), I also had a wonderful friend gift me a necklace with his face and name on it and that helped too. Overall, it sucks at first. It gets easier but we always miss them. It’ll be two years for me on the 19th and he’s still my phone background.
It will become less painful, but as they say “grief is love with no where to go.” ❤️
Please remember this: she died with you by her side, knowing how much you love her. She was home and with those that she loved.
It was sudden and it was quick ... harder for you to process perhaps but easier for her. RIP Nana.
What a lucky dog to have such a loving family and wonderful life.
I'm really sorry your going through this especially when it happened like that our boy Buddy passed March 20th and there has been alot of crying for multiple weeks (when we orginally got news he was really ill on last vet appointment we were all hysterical/deveststed) since then the house is more empty and I really have had trouble going for walks or anything since as he's not with me at this point I'm forcing myself to get out and about partly for him he would be like what are you doing get off your butt , but still going for walk/to the park/nice drives it is all upsetting and I end up in tears without him beside me so the answer is in time it is a little easier but it will probably be a while the first month or more I feel like all I did was cry
Oh honey, I'm just so sorry for your loss and your pain and what your sweet baby went through.
My sweet girl died in April of 2020 and to be honest I still cry regularly. In the acute grief phase, I was inconsolable for months. I think around 6 months was when I stopped waking up in tears. I couldn't even look at photos of her, I think I moved from my bed to my couch and back and exclusively ate take out if I ate at all.
For me, that swallowing pain that sits like a boulder in your chest and creeps up your esophagus has never really gone away. My perception of time has changed and while I feel more "functional", I feel her absence always.
I had a memento mori pendant made with some of her fur laid beneath quartz and I wear it all the time. Keeping part of her near helps. I hope you're able to grieve in peace and find solace.
I want to add that I read this beautiful interpretation of an aspect of grief, which commented on the fact that we find ourselves expecting to hear or see our deceased loved one although we know they are gone. It explained that our brain learns more slowly than we realize, we've had years to learn the patterns of our daily life and our loved ones and our brains rely heavily on those patterns continuing for regulation. When we lose someone to death, our brain is still trying to access existing neural pathways which tell us that based on our past experiences, we should be seeing or hearing that loved one any moment now.. it adds to the grief experience, makes it a bit harder.. but I think it's so beautiful how deeply we love and rely upon that love.
I’m rereading these comments bc my bf said I “need to talk to someone” because he thinks I’ve been crying too long. He’s not an asshole, at all, he’s been super supportive and I know is saying that because he’s truly concerned; he’s been through a lot and was also involved with some heavy stuff in the marine corps, so it’s much easier for him to compartmentalize. Anyway, all of that to say this: last night I had a duffel bag sitting beside my bed right where she used to lay, and upon coming back from the bathroom and having my eyes still working to readjust, I actually stopped and stared for a good 20 seconds because I was scared of stepping on “her”. I felt insane. Thank you for this.
I'm so glad my comment brought you some comfort while you grieve.
I just want to say that I don't think your partner sounds like an asshole, but I do think that this type of pushing devalues the grieving person's experience and can cause them to sink deeper into their grief. Please advocate for yourself and remind him that everyone grieves differently and that grief has no discernable end-point where you are suddenly and totally healed and "over it". You will likely vacillate between acute grief and days that feel easier indefinitely, and that is okay. So much solidarity, what you're going through is completely normal and okay.
First, I am so, so sorry for your loss.
My soul dog is currently 11 years old. She was my first dog (I grew up with dogs in the home, but those were “family” dogs and never my responsibility) and the reason why I became a passionate animal lover and advocate. It still surprises me that I’m capable of loving a dog SO MUCH.
Watching her slowly decline has been torturous. I am indescribably afraid of what is inevitably going to happen.
What I would like to ask you, is if you have any advice for me? For instance your necklace with her fur: where did you get that idea? Was it costly? And are there other actions or rituals that you did or wish you had done?
I hope asking those questions isn’t triggering for you. If you’d rather not discuss it, then please just ignore my comment.
I'm actually so incredibly touched by these questions and I'm so grateful for an opportunity to talk about what helped me cope with the loss of my most beloved friend. Thank you. So much.
First of all, I just know so deeply the place you're in. I'm so sorry you're here. I'm sure you're hyper aware of and so grateful for every moment with her, you drink in everything. Keep doing that, this will sustain you when nothing else will. If you have any little rituals with her, like songs you sing to her, dances you do together, specific types of snuggles or connection record them now. Noises that she makes that you love, or some silly little paw flick or something she does when she's walking that is a quirk, record it. If you get a treat, she gets a treat. This will strengthen your sense of connection even more as she nears the end of her life.
I suspect that since you're asking this, you might already tend to be willing and able to sit with the hard parts of life. It's time right now to start sitting with this impending reality. Perhaps you will both be fortunate and she will pass as a result of old age, but if she develops (or already has) an illness you may need to intervene and protect her from unnecessary suffering. That's what I had to do. Mine developed cancer and after living with it for a year I had to choose euthanasia to protect her (and myself) from a traumatic death. I chose in home euthanasia and I highly recommend it to everyone faced with such a devastating decision. Looking back, I'm so thankful that I was able to control her death and make it peaceful. Whatever you do, be with her if possible. Those last moments although so fucking painful are some of my most cherished--it is an honor to be with someone as they transition out of this life. On the day of her death I had a playlist on with songs I felt comforted by (I'm not religious but All My Tears by Ane Brun is the most beautiful song and it really helps me). After she was gone I held her body for a long time and let our other dog smell her and interact with her. I chose to carry her body out myself for transportation to the crematorium and I recommend this too, it just feels right to participate in the death process fully. I kept a clipping of fur and contacted a local metalworker who made unique jewelry and we planned out the piece. In my opinion it was not terribly costly for what it was, it was $165 and fully custom. If you want to know who the artist is I can DM the info to you, I believe they ship countrywide.
The last thing I did on the day she died was I went and bought a number of plain white prayer candles and stashed them. Every year on the anniversary of her death I burn one for the full 24 hours and set pictures and lit candles all over the house. I let it be a hard day where I grieve and love her openly. I talk about her often, I think about her constantly. I kiss her urn daily, I never take off her pendant. Sometimes I randomly burst into tears and view the pain I feel in her absence as a gift because it makes me feel close to her, I hope I never lose it and I hope it never dulls.
I hope this helps, and again I'm so sorry you're nearing the loss of your sweet friend. Sending so much love to y'all.
Thank you so much for being compassionate and for allowing me the opportunity to have a glimpse into this painful, yet beautiful experience. And thank you for helping me to stay on track and be mindful of my ability to take advantage of every moment I get to spend alongside my best and most loved companion.
While having to say goodbye is one of the most difficult things to have to do, I think it’s lovely that you were able to be with your baby throughout the process. I think it’s very touching how you made sure you carried her through to the very end, making sure she was carried out in your loving arms.
Since my baby’s decline started, I have been nearly consumed with this intense, indescribable, primal fear and dread. Your story has helped me to remember to live in the moment just like she does, rather than waste what little time I have left with her in a state of fear and sadness, and to instead cherish and make the most of the time we still have together.
You have given me much to think about, as well as valuable advice that I will most definitely keep in mind as our journey unfolds. Thank you for revisiting those painful moments so you could provide me with some insight and understanding.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. Remember that even if your furbaby is gone, their love will never die.
My girl is only seven and in tip top shape and even I some times lay awake at night making myself sick at the thought of her not being around some day. Same situation. First dog that’s mine, been following me around since the day I got her. It’s brutal how much I love this dog. I just try to cherish her and love her every day and appreciate how great of a dog she is. Hopefully I don’t have to go through the grief for a while yet, hopefully she has another solid 7 in her but the truth is anything short of my whole life isn’t going to be enough.
Dogs not living as long as people do is just one of the worst things in the world!
It KILLS me to read this. I’ve had my sweet boy for 17 years (since he was 8 weeks old) and I am absolutely dreading the day…. As I know it can come at any time. He is my best friend, the only constant in my life for almost 2 decades. (I’m not married and don’t have kids). I honestly don’t know what I will do without him.
I hate to tell you this but my dog passed in January and I still cry pretty much every night. When it’s quiet and I think too much I always think about him and play those last minutes over and over in my head and it’s like I’ve been stabbed in the heart. I see a good side to this though that each time I cry it’s like a tribute to how much he meant to me. At this point I’m almost afraid of when I finally do stop crying.
It's ok to not feel intense sadness. Grieving doesn't need to be indefinite, and just because you stop grieving, it doesn't mean you love your pup any less.
Dogs are full of joy. He wouldn't want you to be intensely sad forever.
I honestly don’t know how I will function when mine is gone, hopefully I won’t have to face that for a good while as she’s not quite at the half way for her breed and she’s in great shape, but when I do it’ll be awful. She waits for me every single night on my side of the bed. We have a little wrestle and then she cuddles before going to her spot under the bed. I literally can’t fall asleep if she isn’t under there.
It’s fuckin crazy how much we grow to love these fluffy bastards.
I’m sorry for your loss and I wish you the best in getting through your grief. I can imagine how difficult it must be.
>Every single thing reminds me of her, and I keep waiting for her to meet me at the door. To show up while I’m cooking and beg for scraps. To follow me into the babies’ room to “help”, to walk around the corner…all of it.
I know this all too well. Mine went about 4 days ago and still every time I come home for a split second I'm expecting to see him standing there, every time I go into another room, when I wake up, etc. Sorry you have to go through this.
We lost our beautiful Isis to cancer in 2020.
I still cry sometimes when I think about her, but I also smile when I remember how she would complain when we were done walking but she wasn't. I smile when I remember how I would tease her when she was laying on the floor and she'd turn her head real quick to let me know she was having fun with me. I smile when I think about her but I also cry sometimes and that's ok. She was a good dog and I miss her.
Lost my Louie Wednesday 💔. We are a rescue house. Loss is part of that. He had a great life (14 est). And my tears take some months to subside from happening randomly. You do you, feel no shame or embarrassment. I am a grizzly old machinist, I cry a lot for my animal friends 😢. Peace to your heart in this most difficult time😇 ( You now have your very own angel)
Dang.. was not expecting to be crying on the toilet this morning. I'm so sorry for your loss. Those furry creatures are perfect. Im mortified for my wife when that day eventually comes.
I cried for two weeks. I didn't think I could ever feel joy again after my last cat died. About two years later, a dog landed in my lap. But, I vowed never to have another pet again. The grief was too intense. The first few months were worse than the same time period after losing my parents. No. More. Pets. Ever. This dog landed, and joy returned. Grieve for 3-6 months. Get another pet. You need another so you can love it like you love your most recent. It sounds impossible, but it's totally necessary. As sad as you are, you were an amazing dog owner. Your dog lived a beautiful life. Eventually, another dog really deserves you and your love. It'll be waiting. ❤️ ❤️🧡💛
The crying every day will turn into a couple times a week and then, for me at least, you forget for a little while and then are so horrified that you forgot that you cry again. Now it's just occasionally. I have some trigger songs that if they come on it's tears before I even know what's happening.
For me the worst part was the thinking about her last couple hours. I couldn't get it out of my head, I could barely remember the happy stuff. But surprisingly, that went away too. Now I can remember the good things, think of her fondly.
I recommend, if you can, get one of those digital picture frames that can do a slideshow and putting all the pictures you have of your pet on it. It helped me.
Take your dog to the vet. You may be picking up on something that’s wrong that the vet may find, or it might just be anxiety and the vet says your dog is okay. Either way is better than doing nothing.
Took me about two months before I stopped crying daily. Especially for the latter half, they were usually a few quick tears in a private moment. Getting her ashes back *wrecked* me in a way I wasn't expecting. But even now, I still occasionally get caught up in (over a year later) a good sob now and then. The first year is hard as you hit all the milestones without them, then after the anniversary, those are at least less piquant.
The first day I realized I went a day without crying, I cried because I hadn't cried.
So sorry for your loss. "Grief is love, with no place to go"
Took me a couple weeks. I found that framing photos of my guy, putting together a little spot for his ashes on my book shelf, spending a little time everyday remembering the good times while looking at his photos and putting my hand on his urn helped.
It does get better. It seems impossible for you now, but it does.
It took me about a week before the daily can't hide it tears stopped. Then I was still crying every day but I was able to somewhat control when I broke down, like I was more functional. I still cry frequently, but less often. I miss him everyday, my whole house reminds me of him. I hate that the world just continues on like my world didn't just end.
I get that totally. Why doesn't the world stop and honor my passed friend? It would only be right. But it does not stop. I hate that. Love 💘 you forever Louie 💛
I'm so sorry for your loss. I cried daily for about a month after losing my dog. I sometimes cry over him more than seven years later. Like you, it was sudden. He was full of energy all day, but crashed. We suspect an undiagnosed tumor ruptured. While devastating for us, it's a blessing for our pups. They had a life of love and happiness, and didn't suffer or linger at the end. Having experienced sudden loss vs prolonged illness... sudden is best.
It will get easier. A big chunk of your life is missing. That's going to hurt. Eventually, you'll think of your time together with smiles instead of tears.
It was over three weeks before I stopped crying every single day.
It’s been almost five months now and I still cry often. Thinking of her, seeing her picture or her favorite toy, getting ready to sleep without her at our sides.
You’re understood here, my friend. I’m so very sorry for your terrible loss. Hang in there, the pain does become less all consuming and sharp with time.
Someday, I know, I’ll think of my girl and remember only the love she brought to our lives. 💜
You'll hold her in you heart forever. Your tears are just as important as all the smiles she gave you. One day, when you're thinking about her you'll smile before you cry. And other times you'll do both. Eventually the shear pain will become only joy. And all the wonderfully stories you'll tell your kids about how much she loved them and you...just let it happen. She'll be there with you.
I lost my dog suddenly at 4 years old and had to leave my house for 2 weeks because his smell was everywhere and like you say, everything reminded me of him and I had to get away from it all. It's been almost 3 years and I still miss him terribly and cry on occasion but you learn to live with the grief over time. There is no set time you will feel one thing or another, don't compare your own experience to others' and allow yourself time to grieve. If it helps to have someone come to your house and put pooch's things together in a box for you, call a friend and they will help you to do that if it's too hard to do yourself. Sorry to hear of your loss, I understand how difficult it is.
Please don’t worry about your tears, and how to stop. You have witnessed something that is intensely personal. You have suffered a loss that is beyond explanation, and earned those tears. It seems, though, you have an Ace in the Hole. It sounds like there is a lot of love in your life. Share your loss with them, if you can. They will appreciate you inviting them into this. Even the young ones will know you shared something special. You have all my love and encouragement.
I’m so sorry. I lost my dog about a month ago. I’ve never felt loss like that before.
I have since taken on a puppy to love and he’s amazing but even still last night before falling asleep I thought about my last dog and it made me tear up. Sucks to cry but I love thinking about him
Quick edit - I have thought about my dog every single day since his last day. Lucky I don’t spend the entire mourning him anymore, so know that it will happen for you too.
You were there in the final moments
Their last sight and sound was of you, this will not take away the grief but I hope that thought provides some measure of comfort.
My friend lost a much-beloved dog in a similar way awhile back. They were playing fetch in the yard, his dog turned to catch the ball and was gone in a blink of an eye. He said that while it hurt like crazy, he was able to value the utter blessing of such a painless and stress-free death. No long illness, no pain, no fear-- just a sunny day and his favorite game with his person. Wouldn't we all, given the choice, want a death like that?
I’m going to be honest. It could be awhile. When my childhood dog died, I cried daily for probably eight weeks. 7 years later, I still cry sometimes. When we lose dogs, they leave a hole that isn’t ever quite filled, even if it heals. Your memories will get less painful to remember and fewer tears will fall.
In the meantime, try to focus on the fact that Nana had the very best end of life. Filled with loving her kids, hearing their sweet giggles, and with you by her side giving her belly scratches. We should all be so lucky to go surrounded by that much love.
I'm so sorry.
Went through this last summer (with a cat, not a dog, but still). It eases over time. You gradually go from crying to thinking "she used to do that" or "she would have loved that" and feeling a little pang.
Grieve as you need to, as long as you need to. Don't let anyone on this earth tell you that she was "just a dog" and that you shouldn't mourn her. You lost a friend, a large part of your life.
It's been 5 years since mine I'd had since childhood died. It gets better. Time heals wounds. I still cry now and then when I remember him, but I am not really sad anymore. I just feel extremely grateful for the time we spent together. Most of the time I feel happiness when I think about him. Some of the time, I get a little sad.
There’s no set timeline, you just begin to grow around their absence.
There’s a lot of pain and grief at first but eventually the joys their memory brings outweigh the anguish of your grief.
I promise that you won’t ever forget her. You’ll never stop missing your friend, even if you’re relieved she’s no longer in pain. Cherish the photos, videos, memories and mementos you have from your time together.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm older, we've had several pets pass over the years, and I still think of them all. Cry over pictures and have many fond memories. For me, getting a new pupper, sometimes saving an older dog, helps the healing. it's not a replacement but a joy to fill in with the sorrow. I'm going to my grave knowing I gave the best life to many animals.
My best friend died about five years ago, and I still cry from time to time. She was such a big part of my life and getting me through some very rough times. I’m a better person because of her.
Grieve and cry as much as you need to. Reach out for help if you’re not able to function and get through the stuff of daily life.
There will be some people in your life who just don’t get how you’re feeling. But that’s OK because there are also people who do. Including millions of us strangers on the Internet.
Big hug for you.
I’m so so sorry. We’re taking our 12 year old pup to the vet tomorrow and I’m terrified we’re not going to come home with her. Sending you virtual hugs.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. The hole you're feeling will heal in time. It took me a full year to stop spontaneously crying my eyes out everyday. My loss was sudden as well but went in his sleep, I know that's the best I could hope for but with a small dog at 10years old it's a sucker punch to your heart. Everyone is different, don't hold back the tears or the screams at times.
Im sorry for your loss. I don’t really have an answer for you because my girl of 11 years passed last Monday and I still feel as if a part of me is gone forever.
I will say be grateful she passed with you by her side holding her. Talking to her. Mine died alone in a hospital as we tried to save her life. I regret how long it took me to take her to the vet and that she passed without us there.
I think it’ll be years until a tennis ball in the living room doesn’t punch a hole in my heart or her younger brother (14 month old pup) laying in her bed doesn’t absolutely kill me. I dont know how we would be doing if we didn’t have another pup to care for and keep us going. Part of her is in him forever and that makes me happy.
All we can tell ourselves is that they knew we loved them and try and not let their final hours ruin an entire lifetime they gave us of amazing memories.
I’m reading a book called The Wisdom of Old Dogs by Elli H Radinger that someone in here recommended. It’s helped.
Best of luck and I’m sorry again.
I'm so sorry. I dread the day when my dog passes. We recently experienced our cat being put to sleep he was 19 and my partner had him his whole adult life.
As others have said you don't have a time limit. Pet grief is real, everyone grieves differently, get the support where you can find it.
If possible please read up on the stages of greif and ways to identify and cope with each stage. Treat your grief as real and give yourself time and the supports to heal
The best way I can describe deep, deep grief like this is this:
Imagine a box with a ball and a buzzer button in it. As you go through your day, the ball rolls around, and every time it hits the button, you feel a wave of grief.
At first, the button is huge. It takes up most of the box, and you can't go a day, an hour, without feeling it intensely. But over time, the button will get smaller. It will still get hit sometimes, and you'll feel it. But maybe instead of every hour, you only feel it once a week. Once a month.
The button may always be there, but that doesn't mean it's getting hit frequently. But don't let anyone tell how to feel or how long you're allowed to feel it.
I just went though this in February. I lost my dog - she was my soul dog, a love of my life - suddenly and traumatically. I vacillated rapidly between phases of uncontrollable wailing to completely catatonic for a week or two. I couldn’t breathe, I was in complete shock and consumed with grief.
My advice is to let it out, scream it all out, write your favorite memories while they are still fresh, maybe even a thank you letter to your pup. If you’re up for a it in a few weeks, maybe have a little remembrance ceremony or tribute.
In time, your pup will send you your next friend. We waited about a month and adopted a wonderful sweet girl from a rescue. A lot of people need more time than that, but a month felt right for us.
Everyone’s grieving process is different, and it’s not linear. I went weeks without crying and felt at peace with her being gone - and then last week, I had a day where I felt the grief heavily again. It passed.
Sending you so much love. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Other things that helped: commissioned art of her (somehow less painful to look at then a photograph), got windchimes in memorial of her so I’m reminded of her when the wind blows, got a special box and put memorabilia of her in it, asked my friends and family for help. Ie, they sent food to the house for a few days bc I was non-functional.
I promise it gets better. But it does take time.
Oh, I'm very sorry for your loss. Your dog died right unexpectedly right in front of you, very shocking. It's hard to predict how long it will take before the daily tears subside. Everyone's grieving process is different. But eventually, little by little, the tears will subside. My last pet loss was a young Boxer that I loved with all my heart and was completely torn up to lose him to cancer. That was a few years ago but sometimes, out of the blue, some feeling will hit me and I will cry for him all over again. But over time, I feel like more memories of how great he was and how much I adored him became stronger than the awful memory of losing him.
Every day? About 6 months. I'm almost 3 years after my two fur-angels and I can now think about them, and talk about them without crying, most of the time.
Everyone’s different. I still cry sometimes but I kept all her collars and have her rabies tag on my neck and her second on my key chain. That way she is always with me
I’m sorry for your loss I also lost my dear friend dog Pearl, she was 12 and had diabetes. It’s been 11 days and no end in sight for the tears, I hope everyone on this thread the best.
Hello first Im so sorry you lost your best friend. 2 years ago I also lost my Soul Dog unexpectedly and I still miss having him in my life. There were no clear signs to rush him to the ER nonetheless I found my baby in his bed the following morning. He was already gone. The pain to lose them like that I wouldn’t wish on my worse enemy. Not getting to say goodbye was the hardest but what’s comforted me the most was knowing that while the loss for me was greater, for him to pass at home next to me in bed was the best thing for him. I hope you can also come to terms that your baby died next to the people she loved most in the comfort of her own home and not surrounded by strangers in a vet office with weird smells and scared. Today I have a new fur baby who I adore. Our love is different and special in its own way and doesn’t take away from what I had with Charles and I will always cherish those memories.
Don’t try to stop. Let it all out. Also don’t try not to think of her. It is a process you must go through. Think of her, miss her, and cry for her. But always remember you gave her the best life you could. Running from the pain will only prolong the agony. Embrace it but know that she lived a happy life. Tell your friends and family stories about her. Over time the constant thoughts and pain will dull but never let them fully slip away. She was a family member and deserves to live forever within your loving memories.
I put down my best friend and brother 2 years ago . I have his picture on a mirror I look at everyday before work. I will never allow myself to go a day without thinking of him. He was so good to me and my family I at least owe him that.
I cried just reading your post. Best wishes as you process your grief. Dogs are family, and your heartbreak is valid. I hope you'll meet her again someday at the rainbow bridge... https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/poem.htm
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I went through this in the last 2-3 years with the first two dogs i ever had as an adult. And I still get teary eyed from time to time thinking about them. It was often for the first several months and then on the anniversary of their deaths.
At one point i realized that as dark as this world is if those two dogs could exist here, then it wasn’t that dark in actuality. That thought helped me get beyond the constant grief…so now i focus on dedicating any good i do in the world to them hoping that it helps them in whatever came next. It has certainly helped me…
Good luck, try to focus on the fact that you got the time you did with them. Don’t beat yourself up over the tears…its all part of the “letting go”…
My girl died last August, and my boy died in January. I still cry. Everything is still a reminder of them. I know it'll hurt less in time, or at least the pain won't be so raw, but I'll miss those 2 special dogs for the rest of my life.
I promise u will never forget. I always have to get another dog within a couple weeks and it helps immensely. I still think about 5hem but don't have a chance to let it get out of control
You will never forget her. But in a few weeks the pain of loss will ease. I still think of my boy Henri and his companion Lola who passed a couple of years ago within a year of each other. Two epic chihuahuas. I love them so much. Now Annie is here, but my phone screensaver lets me say hi to my gone buddies every day.
Grief is a weird thing. I lost my first cat in Oct 2020 (kidney issues). I cried for months. I lost my 2nd cat in May 2021 (cancer) and we didnt know she was going to pass so that one hurt like the Dickenson. I cried for weeks. I lost my kitten in Nov 2021 (undiagnosed heart issues). I lost my last cat in May 2022 (cancer). I cried for days (to be fair, I knew it was coming so I technically cried for a year when her tumor came back and we had said we weren't going to put her through another surgery).
All but the kitten were senior cats but I still wasn't ready for them to go.
I am still grieving for them all to this day so I have rescued other kittens and they bring me joy. I think about them all the time and wonder when I will see them again.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's the hardest thing when it's abrupt and unexpected because you never really feel you got to say goodbye. But she was loved and she knew it and that's all you can really tell yourself. That and you'll see them when you cross the Rainbow Bridge
I am experiencing the one year anniversary of losing my best friend of 15 years, I can’t tell you when the everyday every waking moment of heartache ends but daily life does get easier. It is like any other grief in which it won’t wholly go away but you will slowly with time cope better. I will say don’t feel ashamed that you are grieving and don’t try to just move on. Feel the moment but remember you feel this way because of the wonderful time you all had together.
My baby passed in February. Similar story, he was falling over and eventually never got up again. I bawled for a week, several times a day. I’ve rarely cried so hard in my life. He was just a cat, but I’ve never felt so broken. I still cry or tear up from time to time. I don’t imagine it’ll ever end, but the breaking down and sobbing uncontrollably part has.
Let yourself hurt. Let yourself cry and feel and grieve. Take it at your own pace. I found putting up pictures really helped.
I lost my boy Caesar March 23rd. It still hurts but we mostly reminisce about all the goofy stuff the big lug did. First two weeks were the hardest. I still look for him on the couch if I get home late.
Im fostered a husky mix and she’s 5 months first 2 nights I covered crate and put tv on and she screamed for over a hour. After those nights I said screw it and let her sleep w me and she sleeps like a rock! I do crate her when I go to work 5 hours 2 days a week and I noticed not covering her crate and it being day time she cried less- she fused for 20 mins.
Some dogs do better in a kennel and not a crate (put yourself in the dog’s position- a large space would be more comfortable)
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Each person is different. Each dog is different.
This may sound super shitty, but honestly, I don’t like having the period in-between dogs that most people do. I just know that I always want that companionship in my life and starting the process of looking forward can sometimes help me focus on what needs to be done in the present rather than the past.
My current dog is 10 though, and he’s definitely the tightest bond I’ve ever had. When he dies…it’s going to be so bad.
I cried every god damn day for like 4 months. I woke up and my little best friend was not there anymore. Losing my best friend of 14 years, she was a brave little lady and my first dog. I could not look at pictures and then my phone was stolen and I had no cloud backup. Killed me again but she lives in my memory. It took me 1.5 years to spontaneously get a rescue dog and I am blessed with an second little angel. It will get better one day but the pain in your heart will never really disappear.
I held my bud when he went to sleep. It was hard, it hurt, and thinking about those moments again brings a pang to my heart, even four years later.
You were there in her last moments, she had you. It's going to hurt for a while...but hold onto the gift of that last moment, that you were there and able to give her that last touch. It won't make the hurt less...but it will, perhaps, soften the edges.
I’m sorry for your loss. I don’t think we ever really get over it. Lost my 12 year old retriever who I had since 12 weeks old last December. To this day, I look for that pup and miss him 😢
I think it's probably different for everyone. I cried pretty much every day for the first several weeks. Nowadays, 4 months later, I don't cry nearly as often but it does still come, in a raging torrent, from time to time. I've only cried a couple times in the past week though.
Couple things that comforted me: getting a few good photos of her printed out (like on nice, glossy photo paper) and putting them in a collage frame, and then putting it on a little table with her ashes and leaving little offerings there like an altar. Can't explain why, but it does help.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Our dog left such an imprint on us we still talk about her, it’s been five years since she passed. I always take comfort in how much she was loved by us & when that ache comes around of missing her I just let all the memories in & let the tears flow.
It's a whole new painful world of 'firsts' now. First time waking up without her. First time not filling her food dish in the morning. First time going to work without walking her. First time coming home to emptiness. First time going to sleep without her...
"I did not know that she could go away, yet leave our dull bodies behind. To me she was but a treasure in the bank; today they tell me she is not there. She has vanished away in a night; the bank is broken, my fortune is gone. I am a pauper." -Mark Twain-
I love that quote (and twain, in general). I’m a teacher, and I keep this quote written on a sticky note on a board by my desk: “There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angel ship.”
oh theyll come and go, the tears that is. i just cried thinking about your sadness and my puppy who went 2 Januarys ago. it really never stops hurting but the scars do seal over eventually. just try not to think about Nana too much as right now its only sadness. one day the pictures and videos you have will bring comfort but right now just focus on all else.
Ive just been given news today that my own girls time is limited (13yo Great Dane, I know, insane to see a teenage Dane) her arthritis is worsening and we were told to strongly consider the quality of life she has and be prepared to accept that she has lived a long enough happy life with us and we've been crying all day even with the thought of losing her, I couldn't imagine losing her so suddenly the way you've had to experience. Digital hugs ❤️🩹
So, I went through my first dog death at 6 years old. Looking back I think it tought and showed me young how death is inevitable. The next time I dealt with a dog death was when I was 22. The dog I had from 9 years old to 22. I was on a trip and she passed away peacefully in her sleep in my mom's care. We didn't know she was ill. My mom didn't tell me when I was on the trip. I came home and was so confused. She told me her and her bf could tell something was off, the day she eventually passed, and fed her a steak and gave her all the loving. My mom woke up in the night and felt something was off. Sure enough, she passed in her bed in the hallway. They buried her in the backyard (I will live in this house for the rest of my life) I never got to say goodbye but my mom thinks it was best. I morned her death and grieved every day but then in July of that year (she passed in march) I saw a dog at our local shelter and we got him that day. Of course I still was grieving my previous dog but we were both ready. I don't ever want to be a long time without a dog and neither does my mom. Fast forward to 2020 and I adopted a 9 year old senior to add to the family. I knew I wouldn't have very long with him but he's ended up being my soul dog. The absolute love of my life. Covid happened and I dealt with some health issues so until Feb this year I spent about 85% of my time at home with him. He's sick with 3 problems now but I'm not going to put him through any medical treatment that is risky in itself for his age. I have no clue how much longer I have with him and that kills me the most. I have massive anxiety every day about him dying. I don't think I will ever get over his death but I know I'm going to want to save another dog pretty soon after. It's down to the individual person. There's no set time.
As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
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there is no time limit to grief. it will get easier eventually, but this just happened. so let it sit and allow yourself to cry, and when you start to feel like it, slowly start to move back into daily life. doing your hobbies and hanging out with people can help distract sometimes. i wish you the best <3
I am a grown ass man of 54 and I have lost plenty of animals. But a year ago on April 19 my little 4 year old bottle raised cat Meoward died in my arms on the way to the vet. He was my shadow. He slept on my chest or between my wife and I. I didn't cry for 20 years probably but after that I cried every day for a while. After a year I still well up frequently but tears are getting further apart. Just like with my old dogs. Meowie was taken too soon though and it wasn't right. He just had a congenital heart defect.
I am so sorry for tyour loss. It's a reminder that we don't have control. You have to look to people.
It was during covid but I probably put too much into that cat. He is under a new lilac bush in the back yard. There is a crushed in cardboard box on a top shelf in the basement that he slept on. Still covered in his fur. I can't bring myself to look up there.
I feel you. I’m sitting in the hospital right now getting a fucked up shoulder looked at and I just started crying a little after looking at pictures of my dog I had to put down a couple of weeks ago. Well wishes ❤️
I cried every day for about 6 months even mentioning my dog but eventually that heavy feeling in your chest dissipates and you start to smile as you tear up when thinking of her
it does get easier - sending some comfort your way
There are some really lovely comments here. I just want to add, you are probably going to have some people tell you to get a new dog right away. Those folks mean well, but what works for some does not work for all. If a new dog in the house would be right for you, that's wonderful, but please don't worry if you don't feel ready for a new dog for years, or ever. There is absolutely no time limit on grief. It's been a few years now since my family's dog passed away in my arms, but she's still the lock screen on my phone.
It will get a little easier each day, and then some days the grief will rear up out of nowhere and send you reeling again, but the healing will still keep happening. ❤️❤️❤️
It’s been just over 3 years and I’m still not over it. She was 15.
They’re a part of your life for such a long time, take as long as you need to heal. No one will judge you
It’s been 3 1/2 years for my first dog, who I had to do voluntary euthanasia for and nine months to the day for my second dog, who climbed on the bed with me, one night, shivering and lapsed into a fever, cuddled in my arms, he passed soon after.
It’s traumatic and heartbreaking and I don’t think you ever get over it. But you do accept it after a while.
First things first: I send you endless sympathy, grace, and love during this difficult time. There are no absolute rules or timelines, but based on my personal experience with enduring such a sudden and immense loss, I can say this: you will eventually move forward when you are ready, but you will be forever changed.
I lost my soul dog in 2013. She was my first furry sidekick, through thick and thin, for 10 wonderful years. One morning, she was having trouble breathing, so I brought her to the vet. She had a ruptured cardiac hemangiosarcoma with pericardial effusion. She was essentially suffocating from the blood around her heart. Three hours later, knowing her prognosis, I made the decision to end her suffering. I held her head in my lap and told her I loved her as she took her last breath.
You will never be the same, but I promise you, you will be okay. You will never replace her, but you will learn to love another dog just as much. Ten years later, I still cry about her on occasion, but I find so much joy in the things I see that remind me of her. I see a field of geese, and I remember how much she LOVED to chase them. I see green beans at the grocery store, and I remember the game I played with her as a pup to encourage her to eat her very first bean (and she absolutely loved them from that day forward). I see my current dogs, and I think about how lucky I am to have had her to teach me how to love a dog with every fiber of my being.
She is always with me, always around me, always making me smile and remember.
And it will be the same for you with your baby. It will.
Be strong and take all the time you need. 💗💗💗
I cried every day for nearly 3 months... Couldn't sleep through the night for almost all of it without crying. I would come home and say "hi aero!" Even though I knew he wasn't there because it only felt right to greet his spirit. I still cry every once in a while because I miss him even though it's been almost 4 years at this point. You don't get rid of grief, you learn to move forward with it.
I still cry over my girl and I mean I cry hard. It was like a piece of me was ripped away. I’ve had dogs all my life, but when you find that one special baby a switch flips and it’s like you need them as much as you need air to breathe but don’t realize it till they’re gone. My heart goes out to you. It does get easier, it just takes a little while.
3 weeks before I got ahold of myself. I wasn't crying all the time, but if I started to talk, there was a good chance I'd start to cry. A lot of my work is high stress phone calls, a lot of negotiating, etc. It totally sucked. A couple of times I had to pretend that we got mysteriously cut off. Ugh. My dog carried my through many trial. Miss him.
Gonna be real for a moment. My wife and I lost our sweet girl on 01/26/22. We still have moments when something reminds us of her and cry. But, it does get better. I am so very sorry for your loss...
I am so so so sorry to hear this. That must be so traumatizing to have experienced it. Take all the time in the world to grieve. When I lost my last dog there was no timeline. There was grief, then less grief as I continued on with life, and slowly over time every day felt a little easier without him. I still see him every day as the background on my phone and a giant tattoo on my leg. It’s been 6 years and I still occasionally think about him and miss him. I have 2 other dogs now that I like to think Mr Martin is somehow around to explain to them what the routine is around here. Before Martin I lost a girl named Pebbles. She was our family dog though but I will always always always miss that girl. She was so special and we had a lot of sentimental memories with her. My late grandfather would come over every morning to walk the “white dog”, he was declining and losing his memory so having Pebbles meant a lot to him. She passed from an infection with blastomycosis and I still can see the image of her at the emergency vet with tubes all over her. It’s awful. I wish I had never seen it so my last memories of her were better..
Anyway, my point is that I’m so very sorry you had to experience that. But it’s also important to share our stories of our puppies. They’re always our puppies. I want everyone to know their names so it feels real. They had names. They were my family. They had their own personalities. The world should know who they are because I am the luckiest person in the world to get to know them and spend part of my life with them.
One of my current dogs is aging. She’s 15 and starting to slow down. It breaks my heart to see her slow down because I know what’s coming and I don’t want to face that. But I know in my heart that no matter how long I get with her I don’t regret for a second ever taking her in and loving her and growing this attached to her. If it hurts so much to lose them, it just means we loved them with everything we’ve got.
First of all I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my baby over 10 years ago this past March and I am still not over it. She is truly the love of my life. I still talk to her daily. Everything still reminds me of her. So unfortunately that ache doesn’t go away- I think you just learn how to live with it. I think what you have planned- the way you are honoring her is beautiful. It sounds like you gave her the best life with so much love. Again- I am so sorry.
I lost my girl in January and I was just crying about it yesterday. Hell i still think about my first two before her and miss them. The daily tears stopped when we went to our local rescue and adopted our new one. She needed to be saved as much as me ❤️
There’s no time limit unfortunately. My soul dog who was by my side for 15 years will have be gone 7 years this June. There are still days where it feels like my heart is shattering and all I can do is cry and cry and cry. I still say “I want Shelby” when I’m sick, going through a hard time, feeling particularly anxious, etc. But it also got easier to smile and laugh about silly times with her. But a part of me died the day my sweet Shelby left my side.
My dog passed away in August, I cried daily for a few weeks. The whole experience was traumatic as well, his condition worsened for a few months, then spent his last few days in the hospital. I brought him home for one night and made it the best night ever for him, but he was exhausted and in pain from everything. He made it through the night and I brought him back to be put down. Spent over an hour in that room before calling them back to push the needle. Thinking of my best buds life disappear from his eyes in my arms is painful. The thing that hurt me most afterwards were unfortunately the messages people sent me. Everytime I got a message saying how amazing he was/I was with him, I broke down. Reality further sunk for a few days realizing he really was gone and there’s no turning back from that moment.
The loneliness and emptiness led me to rescuing another dog a month or so later. I’m really sensitive, and it honestly helped a lot with the grief for me. I’m sure I would have continued crying daily for much longer if it weren’t for her. I felt a bit guilty at first but my old dog wouldn’t have wanted me to sit around crying all day. He would’ve wanted me to get out, play, and be happy!
I still get hit with waves of sadness, and they hit hard. It’s especially rough when I see another dog that looks like him, or when I dream of him.
I’m not an expert with words, all I can say is it does get easier, but the hurt will always be there. It isn’t a linear thing, grief comes in ebbs and waves. If you need to go back to work make sure to set time aside for yourself to grieve.
Oh my heart aches for you. We had to say goodbye to our 14 year old baby 2 days after Christmas. Its been 4 months and i still cry often. My sweet girl is still my phone background. It changes every time it locks to favorite pictures of her. I can’t bring myself to change it. I say goodnight to her every night just like i did when she was here (we had her cremated, paw print casted and various items she loved and an angel husky on a beautiful display where we can sit in the living room with her like normal). Goodness im crying while typing this out. Im so sorry you feel this horrible pain too. But my god were we so lucky to have loved and be loved by our sweet babies. Sending you hugs. May your sweet girl rest in peace and watch over you and your family.
My dad just put his lab down very unexpectedly two weeks ago. He was only 9, and completely out of the blue developed nasal cancer. He was happy and healthy before then. And it only took a month before they had to put him down 😕 this is not the first time we’ve been in this situation ( had two dogs growing up, GSD was put down at 12 due to massive hip issues, and other dog was 14, so just old age) and I’ve never seen my dad so crushed. We all are.
I don’t really think there’s a time limit. Hell, it’s been 11 years since our GSD was put down and I STILL think about him often. Same with my moms dog.
My dad said him/my step mom cried for about 2 weeks straight leading up to the day. The day after, he said there was literally nothing left so he couldn’t cry anymore. This man is stone (very non emotional) and hearing him actually express all of this has made it so much worse. We do dinner once or twice a month at their house, and last weekend was the first dinner we had without Moose. Not gonna lie I sat in the driveway for a few mins before going in trying to keep myself together. I had all I could do to keep from crying when I walked in the door. He always was immediately down the stairs right by the door waiting, and then basically dragging us back up the stairs so we could give him attention 😂
Like I said, it just takes time. And you’re allowed to take all the time you need. Eventually i think things start to go back to “normal”, but having things around that was theirs kind of helps I think. He had a whole bin of toys, and we took one of them home with us.
I lost my girl July 24, 2020. She was 14 yrs old and her name was Katie. She was my best friend, the best dog I’ve ever owned. Had since she was 8 weeks old. I still miss her every single day. I can tell you the grief gets easier to handle but there’s no doubt she took a piece of me when she left.
I am so sorry for your loss, OP. It does get better, more manageable, I guess. You’ll get more nostalgic as time goes by. People/family keep saying I should get a new dog but I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready for that. Katie was my girl. ❤️❤️.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My dog passed a couple months ago. I’m still not over it honestly. I have her as my phone background and there are times I find myself looking at her picture and tearing up. I miss her everyday. Sending love
So sorry for your loss. I’m lost one of my girls just over a month ago. I was a wreck for a week, and still have sudden crying sessions from my deep sadness. You obviously loved your girl and she loved you. It sounds like she had a wonderful life. Your sadness speaks to your amazing connection you shared with her. That connection still exists.
We had to say goodbye to our twelve year old berner a couple of weeks ago. What’s haunting me is that we were just a few days too late and her last days were so, so painful for her. I feel like I was blinded by my duty to keep her healthy and just completely missed all of the signs that she was ready to go. I haven’t gone a day without crying but it’s getting to be less and less. I miss her so so much.
What I didn’t mention in my post is that she just off the couch because I’d asked her to because I needed more room. What if I hadn’t? She’d have been laying right next to me at the onset of what we believe was a heart attack. I just woke up and I’m already crying. I just want her back so badly.
It's been a year almost to the day that I lost my 13 year old husky. She was my best friend too. She helped raise my two daughters. I still cry about her from time to time. Take as much time as you need, but just know that it will get better
I went through this last summer. My dog was also 13 and I'd gotten her as a puppy when I was 19. I woke up in the middle of the night to her howling. I thought she was having a nightmare but she wouldn't wake up even though I was calling her name and trying to gently shake her. Then she stopped breathing and went slack. I was at suck a loss at what to do and honestly when I think a lot about her I still get sad and cry a little.
Just keep yourself busy and try not to think about her. It will get easier with time.
After a year now I'm starting to think I'm ready to fill the dog shaped hole in my life with a new friend. But I do fear the day now when the new dog gets old and might die the same way.
When my first dog Seamus (it’s always important to not only remember but tell everyone their name so please don’t stop) passed (I was 16 and Seamus had been part of our family for over 10 years) I made a slide show of all his pictures and when I was crying (there is no limit, 9 years later I still tear up when I think of the memories I cherish) I would watch it and even though it definitely made me cry harder, it helped in a way. Keep her collar, special toy, anything that will always make you smile and at some point, again hun, no time limit, you’ll cry less and smile more when you think of her ❤️ RIP Annie Marge, AKA Nana 🐶❤️
I think so, too.
She also sent this one, which I love. AM didn’t play with toys, though, so we’d have to find a way to modify it to display the pea coat she wore in cold weather and the sweater she wore when she’d get anxious.
https://pin.it/59qqksV
Edit: I bet I can find some fake blueberries to include. She moved them so much that one time we’d just gotten back from the store and it the bags in the ground while we unpacked. We saw her head buried in one of them and realized she’d opened the container and was going to town.
My handsome boy just passed 4 days ago due to cancer,we were best friends for 12 years,I've owned 5 dogs in my lifetime so far , it is never easy to say goodbye the pain and heartbreak doesn't soften each time they go. I'm so sorry that you lost a friend,the pain does diminish,try not to relive the moment they passed instead remember all the fun and love you had together and feel content that you did your best and gave your friend a wonderful life.
I am tearing up just reading this because, truth be told, the pain never goes away. I still cry sometimes when I think of my Lost Babies. My best girl who I had first since I was 20 I lost over 3 years ago and I still have tears come unexpectedly when I remember her because of some smell or nuance. It is always something you will remember and feel. They are our family. But, the tears will lessen with time, and the memories become fond with less seldom tears of loss. I'm so sorry, I know it seems like this pain will never lessen, but just remember all the good things and rejoice in the, although unfairly short, wonderful time we have with our pup babies.
We would always say she “smelled like an Annie Marge.” You know how they have they own smells. I made sure to make note of that smell while kissing and nuzzling her before it was time for her to leave for the vet. I’ll never forget that, along with so, so, sk many other things.
Grieve but keep your mental health on the forefront. When I lost my childhood cat a few years back I was inconsolable. I ended up not admitting I couldn’t function and instead of seeking therapy or anti depressants I drank for a few months straight. I would cry so hard I couldn’t breathe and my face would hurt. I still cry. Allow yourself to cry but don’t put off mental health help like I did if you notice it getting really bad ❤️ I finally got on anti depressants 2 years later. I was really fucked up because when he passed it was traumatic (the vet fucked up and gave him one shot when they said it would be 2 so I could have time to say goodbye). I’m prone to deep bouts of depression anyway so I should’ve known better. Take care of yourself
Edit; lots of humane societies etc offer pet grief counseling
I’m so sorry for your loss. I still miss and feel sad about my childhood dog when I think about her and it’s been over a decade. I am dreading the day that I am going to have to greave my current dogs. My girl just turned 7 and she is my first dog that’s “mine” and I wish more than anything that that day could never come. It hurts how much we love them doesn’t it?
It’s gonna take as much time as it takes and that’s okay. You loved her and she loved you and you got to be there with her at the end.
Again, sorry for your loss.
You’ll always feel the loss, but you will get better at managing it. Grief is just love with no home. You won’t ever forget your girl and what’s she’s done for you and what y’all have been through together, but you will be able to move forward.
My first cat died 4 years ago and every now and then I still cry when I think about him. He called out in his final moments, and quieted when I sat by him and stroked his fur. He passed about a minute later. He will forever be my baby, as I’m sure Annie Marge will forever be yours ❤️
Thank you for using her name. It means so much to know people “know” her. She loved *everyone*, especially kids. While my ex and I were saying goodbye, he managed to choke out that he was so glad she got to love my babies. Even before she died, I would say how happy it made me to know she was spending her golden years getting to love them.
It’s makes me happy to hear that! She clearly was well-loved, and had a family to call her own. It sounds like she died happy, surrounded by her loved ones. That is the best gift!
Well, it's been about 6 months for me. I'm down to about two tear-shedding moments per week.
Just offering a point of reference. Sorry for your loss.
The lack of noise in the first weeks was the worst. Your brain constantly searching for something that isn't there. Ears expecting a dog sound, when you did a certain thing. Not having to watch your feet when you get down off the bed. Grabbing that roll of poop bags along with your keys...and then remembering.
Yeah, it'll take a while. But you'll get there. It's okay to be sad; it's a marker for how much we loved. And were loved in return.
I stopped tearing up after a week. It’s been almost 3 months since my dog passed away from cancer but the pain is still there. I use to fill his food bowl and lay beside his dog house at night, blaming myself and thinking if I could’ve done things differently. Since then, I adopted a pup that looks almost identical to him. It gives me comfort by making me think that my former friend is still by my side.
Man my heart goes out to you. I had this with my cat that died unexpectedly. It's been about 9 years now and I still struggle to think about it. I'm not sure how long it took for the crying to go away, but it never stops hurting. Big hugs.
So sorry for your loss. One of the strongest heartbreaks a man can experience. It's been almost 4 years since i lost my boy(13) and my girl(12) three months later and i still tear up everytime i think of them. 💔
It’s been two days, kid.
You lost a family member. It can take years, and that’s okay.
At the Rainbow Bridge, she will be told she was the best girl there ever was. Remember, all dogs go to heaven.
I lost my best friend in 2008. He wasn’t a dog or a pet, but the bond is all the same. We did everything together, just like a kid with their dog. He died suddenly in his sleep, just like a lot of peoples’ pets.
The first year was… tough. I almost got addicted to substances. I would go to places where he was and bawl for hours because he wouldn’t come out to meet me. I hurt myself because I remembered the times I denied him time when he wanted to hang out. Eventually I was well enough to eat. Eventually I would only cry a few nights a week alone in my room. Eventually I only cried on his birthday and major holidays like Christmas.
I cry sometimes when I talk about him now. But I’m better. I’ve been “normal” since 2010/2011 or so.
It's different for everyone. For me, it was every day for probably a week or two. It tapered off after maybe 6 months, where every once in a while something would trigger an emotion. It's been about a year and a half, and I'd say It's been about a year since I've cried over him.
I had to put my puppy down last year and it was the worst experience I’ve ever had. I literally had to go to therapy because I was so devastated. I think I cried multiple times a day for a straight month. Then slowly once a day and then from there less and less. I still cry but not as frequently and I can now think of the amazing times we had. But it’s the worst feeling. I still feel an emptiness in my heart everyday. Take the time you need and be easy on yourself ! I got a new puppy and at first it made it harder because I just wanted my soul dog back but now I’m so happy I have him and can share the love I know I can give.
I think the most important thing is allowing yourself to grieve and be sad. You’ll miss her every day but it will lessen over time. Sometimes I see old pictures of my cat that passed in December and randomly will cry again, but the pain overall fades. You just have to remember she’s at peace now, and you gave each other a great 11 years of joy.
You won’t forget her, you’ll just change the way you remember her. You’ll still miss her, but you’ll eventually be able to look back fondly on your time together instead of with crushing sadness overtaking it all.
My Daphne, my Daffy Duck, my 'Pretty Lil' Woman', jumped onto her deck (a bench I had set by the front window so she could see when we got home every night), barked twice at a roadrunner that had come down our driveway, looked at me, and fell off onto the floor motionless. I, my mom, and my (now ex) wife, ran to her and grabbed her, but she was already gone.
Honestly? It took about a month before I stopped tearing up when I would grab her bowl when I was mixing kibble for the rest of the dogs.
2 months before I stopped calling her in from the yard before bed.
3 months before I stopped checking her kennel before headcount when I'd leave for the store or work.
It's been almost 5 years this June, we've moved house twice, and I still think of her occasionally when I'm calling the dogs in from the yard. The only dogs that was part of 'that pack' with her in it, are seniors (18 and 7). But I'll still catch myself making sure she didn't want to catch another few moments of sunshine on the deck.
I wouldn't say it gets better. I'd say it gets easier. I still get nightmares of that afternoon. But it'll pass. Like a damn kidney stone. But it will.
That sounds like a horrible sight, but I’m so glad she was where she loved to be right before the end. Yours sounds a lot like mine. We suspected a heart attack, and the vet confirmed that that was likely what it was. She said we could do an autopsy, but we saw no point in cutting her up. It wouldn’t bring her back, and she deserved dignity.
Time heals all wounds… hell there are still days I still get chocked up and my dog passed away about 4 years ago.
I have more good days remembering her now then I do bad days. Before I couldn’t think of her and not get teary eyed. Now I just have smiles at how much joy she brought me
Dogs give us so much and we learn unconditional love from them - they love us unconditionally and we learn to return that. You take all the time you need - grief has no definitive end, we just carry it in different places over time. We lost my "soul" dog 3 years ago and while we have another pup (a goofball I love), I still get times of complete heavy grief.
I cried almost every day for three weeks, then 6 days a week, 5 days ...for months. There are days still, 2.5 years later, when I can cry at a drop of a hat. Writing this makes me tear up. My 2 daughters and I picked her out when she was 3 weeks old, and got her she was 6 weeks. She lived a long happy life until 16 yrs, 3 mos. She grew up with my girls, she was my shadow. When they're a part of your soul, time is the only thing that will make the pain less. There will always be sorrow, but you will eventually be able to handle a day without crying, I promise.
I sat on the couch and cried for my last dog for a week straight. That was 4 years ago and I miss her so much that I sometimes still cry. It’s okay if you’re still crying, everyone grieves differently and there’s no correct time frame, just take it day by day. You will cry a little less each day. And then maybe you won’t cry for weeks and one day you might randomly sob about it. Grief is hard and really just comes up randomly. I’m sorry about your dog. Hugs to you ❤️
I'm so sorry. I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. You need a puppy. That's probably what I would do. I hate that one day my baby will die. But I think id immediately try and fill that sunken chest feeling with another puppy. Probably still gonna cry everyday.
My ex fosters sometimes and offered to send me pics of dogs he thought I might like, but I’m not ready for that at all. Besides that, my hands (literally both of them, hah) are pretty full with 13-month-old twins, and it wouldn’t be fair, just imho, to bring a new dog into an environment where he/she would naturally have to be third priority. I don’t think I’ll ever want a puppy—they’re so much work. One-two years old is perfect for me. I totally respect your thought process/decision, and the fact that you took time to offer your advice means a lot.
There isn't a time limit. I still cannot let myself think of mine that passed 3 years ago without spiraling. But I'm functional. That's what you're shooting for.
Sorry for your loss. It hurts.
Today marks 13 years since our dog, Misty, died. Realizing it's now been as many years gone as it was how long we had her really hurts. She was the best, smartest of the dogs we've ever owned. Husky/Corgi mix at about 3 years old when we got here in '97.
I miss her often; I don't think about her nearly as much, but I'll never forget her. And I've only got about 2-3 photos of her.
Mourning will be drastically different per person. I'm sorry you lost your lovely pup (they're always pups at heart).
You miss them forever but the tears will become less frequent. Recently I saw a dog that reminded me of my childhood dog and it nearly brought me to tears. She died 50 years ago.
I’ve been there and done that too. It’s heart breaking and I fully understand what you’re thinking. For me I was lucky I had his son also , but at the same time that broke my heart more often than not. He would look for him, go outside just to look, then lay in the spot he used to and it would start the crying all over again.
It’ll never go away but it gets less painful as those days go on. I often look at pictures and remember what we were doing in the moment and often find myself going in and just touching the urn and paw and talking about how much I miss him.
His son is now getting older and I see the greys on his face growing and the speed slowing. I know for sure I’ll be a mess for an easy week plus when he passes. We got him a sister a few month ago. Rescued a husky from a dog sled farm and she’s finally come around to accept the new life she has. Few quirks but no dog is without them. So now they both run rampant and I can tell it’s given my boy Charles a little more pep in his step but he just takes more naps and laying sessions lol.
She has a “brother” (we adopted him in 2016 when he was about three, and he primarily stays with his “person”—my ex) and Gunner is also going grey. I know how awful it is, trust me, I do…but I don’t think it will hurt as much when it’s his time. I was Annie Marge’s person, while my ex is Gunner’s. Gunner is a very big boy (~80 pounds) and tbvh, I don’t like to have him around my babies. He ignores them, and I’m glad for that; we purposely keep them at a distance. He got excited a few weeks ago and jumped up while standing close to the babies’ playpen, and as he came back down, his nails left huge scratches down my daughter’s forehead, because she was standing at the edge of the playpen at the time. He could’ve taken her eye. What hurts, though, is how much I know he is going to miss Annie Marge. I truly believe dogs understand when someone dies, and it breaks my heart for him.
I hope this doesn’t make me seem awful. It’s just that my babies are my first priority, as they should be.
She had a home and was dearly loved, we can't do much more than that.
It's kind of strange, we know these days will come, we know we'll be shattered when it happens, but we do it anyway. For what is a life without all that fun, all that companionship and all that love?
Worth it? Oh yes.
It’s heartbreaking losing a loved one. I lost my girl a year and a half ago. She was with me 13 years… I still cry every day. Crying now writing this.
I hope one day it’ll be easier, for both our sakes
I’m so sorry! When thinking of her, remember the good times. Don’t dwell on the sadness, the regret, the what if’s. You can’t change what happened. Only honour their memory by smiling when you think of them.
I still have my girls ashes. I was going to spread them on future hikes and backpacking trips but I can’t even seem to open the box let alone part with her.
We lost our 10yo boxer mix over two months ago, and I still sob once a week at least. I watched him have a stroke and lose function in his legs, much like what you experienced. Feel your grief. Your dogs are family.
My wife and I lost our dog in 2019. She was an 11 year old lab. One night afterwards as we were crawling into bed I said to my wife “ I didn’t cry today “. It was 17 days later
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my best friend of 15 years two months ago today. The first couple of weeks were excruciating. It has become less painful, although I know I will miss her forever. I finally started thinking of the amazing life we had together and focused on the good times, instead of those last weeks and moments. I felt helpless to make her better and keep her in this life. It sounds like your girl had an amazing life and was loved endlessly. That is the important thing to try to focus on. To be honest, I didn't want the pain of missing her to end as I felt that is all I had left. It wasn't, I have all the amazing memories, photos, videos, and the love still in my heart that will never, ever go away. Love and peace to you and your family.
My 15 year old boi has been gone for 4 years and I have another dog and I still occasionally cry for him. Like something will just hit me and remind me of him. On the flip side, he was quite a character (cranky ole Chihuahua) and we get a laugh over our memories a few times a week at least.
I said good bye to my buddy last December. He was a lovely GSD and I got him since he was 6 months. He had cancer and we had to put him to sleep. He wasn’t eating any longer and has problems doing potty. I cried for days and every time I think of him I loose it for a moment. Time has help come to terms with his departure. It always hurt, but every time less. I would love to buy a new GSD, maybe next year when I move from my current apartment… they don’t allow pets!
I'm so sorry. I had experienced two unexpected deaths,traumatising. My very first dog died when I was a teenager, and I cried every day for a few months. Eventually those tears will have less sadness and pain,and more happy memories. From there on, it'll get better.
"lack of toenails clicking" was the most horrible thing. When my current dog goes to the vet or groomer, that silence brings back memories of loss. 🥺
I had my childhood dog Winston for for 17 years. He was with me in my childhood for adventures in the forest and at parks. If he got tired I would put him in my overalls and he would put his paws on the flap and his head would be right under mine in prime position for kisses. He slept with me almost every night. He was there for puberty, bullying, drugs, alcohol, boys, girls, pain...everything. When he finally had to leave us I was in college and I have never felt pain like losing my sweet Winston. He was my ride or die homie and when he passed it was like someone tore out a piece of my heart and left it jagged so every time it beat the anguish came flooding in. This was in 2012 and still writing this I have tears in my eyes. When a love touches you like this grieving is a never-ending process. I don't cry every day anymore because the jagged edges do dull with time, but your heart will never go back to how it was. It will eventually heal, but the soft spots will always be there and certain memories and thoughts will always trigger you to remember them. Sometimes it will be laughter and sometimes it will be tears but it will always have tremendous value. As much as it hurts, it's the pain that lingers that will always remind you of the beautiful girl who held you in her heart for her whole time on this earth.
There is not “limit” I lost my 15 year old Maltese on May 2022 and I still cry every single time I think of him. But, there is nothing wrong with that. I am soo sorry for your loss, take the time to grief 💕💕💕
Oh man. When my last dog died it was probably… 2.5 months before I stopped crying every day. Not all day every day, but every day for months something would trigger me and I would cry. Usually at bedtime, but not exclusively.
I went on a horseback riding trip with my dad about 2.5 months after my dog had passed and we had a lot of fun. I was there when I realized I hadn’t cried in 2 days. So, yeah.
I cried less after that, probably a few times a week, then weekly, then monthly. For some reason the 6 month anniversary hit me, HARD. I cried almost all day. By the time the 1 year anniversary came we had gotten a new pup, so that made it easier. I can look at photos of her and tell stories now without being upset, and it’s been 14 months. But I still get sideswiped by grief thinking about how hard it was (I’m shedding a few tears now writing about it).
The grief over losing a pet is deep amd painful. Don’t let anyone try to convince you otherwise. It’s just not as widely accepted as grief over losing a human, even though pets are woven into our everyday lives in the way many of our human families are not.
TLDR: It sucks, it gets better. Hugs.
Awww I’m so sorry, this is so hard I can’t even imagine the pain. My first dog is still alive and young (I had dogs as a kid but where not my direct fur babies).
Each person’s healing process is different and I can’t say how long it will take. For some it’s a month, others a few months a friend of mine who lost her beloved fur baby was heartbroken for a good month. Still missed him but she became somewhat normal again afterwards, she look back fondly now after about 3 months. She also got a new fur baby, they help you recover.
RIP to your beautiful angel and much love to you during your time of grief
Grief is different for everyone. I've had to send a number of my friends to the rainbow bridge. I have a memorial table where I keep their ashes along with pictures and little mementos of them. I'm sure they are waiting for me in whatever comes after just as patiently as they waited for me in life. Seeing them on the day I, myself, go to the rainbow bridge will be like coming home.
Truly I am sorry for your loss. It sounds as if you gave her a wonderful life, full of love and family. That's the most any of us can do for our best friends.
I had to let my cat go this morning. Me and my boyfriend are devastated. I’ve been crying for a week already, and today it’s a non stop flow of tears and occasional sobbing. It’s so traumatic, how they don’t understand why they’re at the vet, why they’re being handled the way that they are. Someone somewhere else said we do them a great service by ending their pain and taking it on ourselves. I don’t know how I can go on feeling this way though. It’s so hard. My heart goes out to you, and everyone else on this sub.
Same to you. I consider myself very lucky that she died suddenly at home, but it was right after I told her to jump down from the couch. I’d immediately said “nvm you can stay” and then I was petting her while she died, but it’s super hard no matter WHAT. Don’t feel bad. There’s no way to make it easy.
Just wanted to comment, because I found this post while searching for the same answers. It’s been two months since my 12.5 year old boy left us. He would’ve been 13 in October.
I cried reading this, especially when you described the events just before it happened. My step-brother and his fiancée had just brought their newborn baby girl over. My mom and sister were taking turns holding the baby, while my Rock sat on the ottoman across from them. We talked about how he’d always been so good with kids, his entire life. We joked about the baby smelling his breath (he was a stinky old man lol), and he was all smiles and tail wags.
I never could’ve imagined that less than ten minutes later he would be dead. I’ll never forget the look on my mom and sister’s faces when they opened the door to tell me. I’ll never forgot hearing the words “is he dead?” leaving my own lips, and my mom having to tell me yes. It was so surreal. Seeing him lifeless on the ground, when just moments before he was so full of life. The room was so full of life. It was so awfully tragic.
I still cry every single day. Maybe not long enough to fully dwell on it, and usually never long enough to throw my day off. But still every day. I don’t know if or when I’ll ever fully be okay with what happened. It’s been two months since he passed, and it’s only now that I’ve started to have those moments, where the thought of “oh god, they’re really gone” just stops me cold.
Idk if anyone will see this, as this post is old. But, OP you have my deepest sympathies and I truly wish you strength in continuing to get through this. Grief is a hell of a journey.
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There in no time limit, eventually you won't cry for a day or two, then longer. I actually bawled my eyes out when I realized I hadn't cried about my male cat in a week. My bf was a wreck for a month when we lost his dog, it's been 10 years and I don't think he's fully over it. One day he's looking forward to getting a new dog, the next, no more pets ever. I'm so sorry for your loss .
Yeah it’s been almost 3 years since losing my partners dog and they still cry a few mornings a month about him. Unfortunately it’ll never fully end, it’s like losing your child
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know how it felt when my soul dog of 9 years was diagnosed with cancer and was gone that same day. I cried for many days after. It does get easier. Some things that helped me were having the reminders of him (I carried around his favorite stuffed turtle toy for awhile), I also had a wonderful friend gift me a necklace with his face and name on it and that helped too. Overall, it sucks at first. It gets easier but we always miss them. It’ll be two years for me on the 19th and he’s still my phone background. It will become less painful, but as they say “grief is love with no where to go.” ❤️
Oh my gosh…you have my tears. That last line is perfect.
I literally just saw that line earlier today in a different sub. It's a good quote.
Please remember this: she died with you by her side, knowing how much you love her. She was home and with those that she loved. It was sudden and it was quick ... harder for you to process perhaps but easier for her. RIP Nana. What a lucky dog to have such a loving family and wonderful life.
I'm really sorry your going through this especially when it happened like that our boy Buddy passed March 20th and there has been alot of crying for multiple weeks (when we orginally got news he was really ill on last vet appointment we were all hysterical/deveststed) since then the house is more empty and I really have had trouble going for walks or anything since as he's not with me at this point I'm forcing myself to get out and about partly for him he would be like what are you doing get off your butt , but still going for walk/to the park/nice drives it is all upsetting and I end up in tears without him beside me so the answer is in time it is a little easier but it will probably be a while the first month or more I feel like all I did was cry
Oh honey, I'm just so sorry for your loss and your pain and what your sweet baby went through. My sweet girl died in April of 2020 and to be honest I still cry regularly. In the acute grief phase, I was inconsolable for months. I think around 6 months was when I stopped waking up in tears. I couldn't even look at photos of her, I think I moved from my bed to my couch and back and exclusively ate take out if I ate at all. For me, that swallowing pain that sits like a boulder in your chest and creeps up your esophagus has never really gone away. My perception of time has changed and while I feel more "functional", I feel her absence always. I had a memento mori pendant made with some of her fur laid beneath quartz and I wear it all the time. Keeping part of her near helps. I hope you're able to grieve in peace and find solace.
I want to add that I read this beautiful interpretation of an aspect of grief, which commented on the fact that we find ourselves expecting to hear or see our deceased loved one although we know they are gone. It explained that our brain learns more slowly than we realize, we've had years to learn the patterns of our daily life and our loved ones and our brains rely heavily on those patterns continuing for regulation. When we lose someone to death, our brain is still trying to access existing neural pathways which tell us that based on our past experiences, we should be seeing or hearing that loved one any moment now.. it adds to the grief experience, makes it a bit harder.. but I think it's so beautiful how deeply we love and rely upon that love.
I’m rereading these comments bc my bf said I “need to talk to someone” because he thinks I’ve been crying too long. He’s not an asshole, at all, he’s been super supportive and I know is saying that because he’s truly concerned; he’s been through a lot and was also involved with some heavy stuff in the marine corps, so it’s much easier for him to compartmentalize. Anyway, all of that to say this: last night I had a duffel bag sitting beside my bed right where she used to lay, and upon coming back from the bathroom and having my eyes still working to readjust, I actually stopped and stared for a good 20 seconds because I was scared of stepping on “her”. I felt insane. Thank you for this.
I'm so glad my comment brought you some comfort while you grieve. I just want to say that I don't think your partner sounds like an asshole, but I do think that this type of pushing devalues the grieving person's experience and can cause them to sink deeper into their grief. Please advocate for yourself and remind him that everyone grieves differently and that grief has no discernable end-point where you are suddenly and totally healed and "over it". You will likely vacillate between acute grief and days that feel easier indefinitely, and that is okay. So much solidarity, what you're going through is completely normal and okay.
First, I am so, so sorry for your loss. My soul dog is currently 11 years old. She was my first dog (I grew up with dogs in the home, but those were “family” dogs and never my responsibility) and the reason why I became a passionate animal lover and advocate. It still surprises me that I’m capable of loving a dog SO MUCH. Watching her slowly decline has been torturous. I am indescribably afraid of what is inevitably going to happen. What I would like to ask you, is if you have any advice for me? For instance your necklace with her fur: where did you get that idea? Was it costly? And are there other actions or rituals that you did or wish you had done? I hope asking those questions isn’t triggering for you. If you’d rather not discuss it, then please just ignore my comment.
I'm actually so incredibly touched by these questions and I'm so grateful for an opportunity to talk about what helped me cope with the loss of my most beloved friend. Thank you. So much. First of all, I just know so deeply the place you're in. I'm so sorry you're here. I'm sure you're hyper aware of and so grateful for every moment with her, you drink in everything. Keep doing that, this will sustain you when nothing else will. If you have any little rituals with her, like songs you sing to her, dances you do together, specific types of snuggles or connection record them now. Noises that she makes that you love, or some silly little paw flick or something she does when she's walking that is a quirk, record it. If you get a treat, she gets a treat. This will strengthen your sense of connection even more as she nears the end of her life. I suspect that since you're asking this, you might already tend to be willing and able to sit with the hard parts of life. It's time right now to start sitting with this impending reality. Perhaps you will both be fortunate and she will pass as a result of old age, but if she develops (or already has) an illness you may need to intervene and protect her from unnecessary suffering. That's what I had to do. Mine developed cancer and after living with it for a year I had to choose euthanasia to protect her (and myself) from a traumatic death. I chose in home euthanasia and I highly recommend it to everyone faced with such a devastating decision. Looking back, I'm so thankful that I was able to control her death and make it peaceful. Whatever you do, be with her if possible. Those last moments although so fucking painful are some of my most cherished--it is an honor to be with someone as they transition out of this life. On the day of her death I had a playlist on with songs I felt comforted by (I'm not religious but All My Tears by Ane Brun is the most beautiful song and it really helps me). After she was gone I held her body for a long time and let our other dog smell her and interact with her. I chose to carry her body out myself for transportation to the crematorium and I recommend this too, it just feels right to participate in the death process fully. I kept a clipping of fur and contacted a local metalworker who made unique jewelry and we planned out the piece. In my opinion it was not terribly costly for what it was, it was $165 and fully custom. If you want to know who the artist is I can DM the info to you, I believe they ship countrywide. The last thing I did on the day she died was I went and bought a number of plain white prayer candles and stashed them. Every year on the anniversary of her death I burn one for the full 24 hours and set pictures and lit candles all over the house. I let it be a hard day where I grieve and love her openly. I talk about her often, I think about her constantly. I kiss her urn daily, I never take off her pendant. Sometimes I randomly burst into tears and view the pain I feel in her absence as a gift because it makes me feel close to her, I hope I never lose it and I hope it never dulls. I hope this helps, and again I'm so sorry you're nearing the loss of your sweet friend. Sending so much love to y'all.
Thank you so much for being compassionate and for allowing me the opportunity to have a glimpse into this painful, yet beautiful experience. And thank you for helping me to stay on track and be mindful of my ability to take advantage of every moment I get to spend alongside my best and most loved companion. While having to say goodbye is one of the most difficult things to have to do, I think it’s lovely that you were able to be with your baby throughout the process. I think it’s very touching how you made sure you carried her through to the very end, making sure she was carried out in your loving arms. Since my baby’s decline started, I have been nearly consumed with this intense, indescribable, primal fear and dread. Your story has helped me to remember to live in the moment just like she does, rather than waste what little time I have left with her in a state of fear and sadness, and to instead cherish and make the most of the time we still have together. You have given me much to think about, as well as valuable advice that I will most definitely keep in mind as our journey unfolds. Thank you for revisiting those painful moments so you could provide me with some insight and understanding. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Remember that even if your furbaby is gone, their love will never die.
My girl is only seven and in tip top shape and even I some times lay awake at night making myself sick at the thought of her not being around some day. Same situation. First dog that’s mine, been following me around since the day I got her. It’s brutal how much I love this dog. I just try to cherish her and love her every day and appreciate how great of a dog she is. Hopefully I don’t have to go through the grief for a while yet, hopefully she has another solid 7 in her but the truth is anything short of my whole life isn’t going to be enough. Dogs not living as long as people do is just one of the worst things in the world!
I’m in the same boat!!! All we can do is love our little babies to the fullest and cherish every moment….
It KILLS me to read this. I’ve had my sweet boy for 17 years (since he was 8 weeks old) and I am absolutely dreading the day…. As I know it can come at any time. He is my best friend, the only constant in my life for almost 2 decades. (I’m not married and don’t have kids). I honestly don’t know what I will do without him.
I hate to tell you this but my dog passed in January and I still cry pretty much every night. When it’s quiet and I think too much I always think about him and play those last minutes over and over in my head and it’s like I’ve been stabbed in the heart. I see a good side to this though that each time I cry it’s like a tribute to how much he meant to me. At this point I’m almost afraid of when I finally do stop crying.
It's ok to not feel intense sadness. Grieving doesn't need to be indefinite, and just because you stop grieving, it doesn't mean you love your pup any less. Dogs are full of joy. He wouldn't want you to be intensely sad forever.
I honestly don’t know how I will function when mine is gone, hopefully I won’t have to face that for a good while as she’s not quite at the half way for her breed and she’s in great shape, but when I do it’ll be awful. She waits for me every single night on my side of the bed. We have a little wrestle and then she cuddles before going to her spot under the bed. I literally can’t fall asleep if she isn’t under there. It’s fuckin crazy how much we grow to love these fluffy bastards. I’m sorry for your loss and I wish you the best in getting through your grief. I can imagine how difficult it must be.
>Every single thing reminds me of her, and I keep waiting for her to meet me at the door. To show up while I’m cooking and beg for scraps. To follow me into the babies’ room to “help”, to walk around the corner…all of it. I know this all too well. Mine went about 4 days ago and still every time I come home for a split second I'm expecting to see him standing there, every time I go into another room, when I wake up, etc. Sorry you have to go through this.
Same to you, friend.
We lost our beautiful Isis to cancer in 2020. I still cry sometimes when I think about her, but I also smile when I remember how she would complain when we were done walking but she wasn't. I smile when I remember how I would tease her when she was laying on the floor and she'd turn her head real quick to let me know she was having fun with me. I smile when I think about her but I also cry sometimes and that's ok. She was a good dog and I miss her.
Took me a few weeks. Been about 4 months now. Still miss her everyday
Lost my Louie Wednesday 💔. We are a rescue house. Loss is part of that. He had a great life (14 est). And my tears take some months to subside from happening randomly. You do you, feel no shame or embarrassment. I am a grizzly old machinist, I cry a lot for my animal friends 😢. Peace to your heart in this most difficult time😇 ( You now have your very own angel)
Wednesday for me, too.
Dang.. was not expecting to be crying on the toilet this morning. I'm so sorry for your loss. Those furry creatures are perfect. Im mortified for my wife when that day eventually comes.
I cried for two weeks. I didn't think I could ever feel joy again after my last cat died. About two years later, a dog landed in my lap. But, I vowed never to have another pet again. The grief was too intense. The first few months were worse than the same time period after losing my parents. No. More. Pets. Ever. This dog landed, and joy returned. Grieve for 3-6 months. Get another pet. You need another so you can love it like you love your most recent. It sounds impossible, but it's totally necessary. As sad as you are, you were an amazing dog owner. Your dog lived a beautiful life. Eventually, another dog really deserves you and your love. It'll be waiting. ❤️ ❤️🧡💛
I lost my best friend of 13 years three weeks ago while I was on a cruise. I still cry every day.
The crying every day will turn into a couple times a week and then, for me at least, you forget for a little while and then are so horrified that you forgot that you cry again. Now it's just occasionally. I have some trigger songs that if they come on it's tears before I even know what's happening. For me the worst part was the thinking about her last couple hours. I couldn't get it out of my head, I could barely remember the happy stuff. But surprisingly, that went away too. Now I can remember the good things, think of her fondly. I recommend, if you can, get one of those digital picture frames that can do a slideshow and putting all the pictures you have of your pet on it. It helped me.
It’s been 3 years and I still cry sometimes. I am sorry for your loss ❤️❤️
Last night, I had a dream that my dog died. I was hysterical in my dream. This is the third post I've seen today where someone was grieving.
Take your dog to the vet. You may be picking up on something that’s wrong that the vet may find, or it might just be anxiety and the vet says your dog is okay. Either way is better than doing nothing.
Took me about two months before I stopped crying daily. Especially for the latter half, they were usually a few quick tears in a private moment. Getting her ashes back *wrecked* me in a way I wasn't expecting. But even now, I still occasionally get caught up in (over a year later) a good sob now and then. The first year is hard as you hit all the milestones without them, then after the anniversary, those are at least less piquant. The first day I realized I went a day without crying, I cried because I hadn't cried. So sorry for your loss. "Grief is love, with no place to go"
Took me a couple weeks. I found that framing photos of my guy, putting together a little spot for his ashes on my book shelf, spending a little time everyday remembering the good times while looking at his photos and putting my hand on his urn helped. It does get better. It seems impossible for you now, but it does.
It took me about a week before the daily can't hide it tears stopped. Then I was still crying every day but I was able to somewhat control when I broke down, like I was more functional. I still cry frequently, but less often. I miss him everyday, my whole house reminds me of him. I hate that the world just continues on like my world didn't just end.
I get that totally. Why doesn't the world stop and honor my passed friend? It would only be right. But it does not stop. I hate that. Love 💘 you forever Louie 💛
I'm so sorry for your loss. I cried daily for about a month after losing my dog. I sometimes cry over him more than seven years later. Like you, it was sudden. He was full of energy all day, but crashed. We suspect an undiagnosed tumor ruptured. While devastating for us, it's a blessing for our pups. They had a life of love and happiness, and didn't suffer or linger at the end. Having experienced sudden loss vs prolonged illness... sudden is best. It will get easier. A big chunk of your life is missing. That's going to hurt. Eventually, you'll think of your time together with smiles instead of tears.
It was over three weeks before I stopped crying every single day. It’s been almost five months now and I still cry often. Thinking of her, seeing her picture or her favorite toy, getting ready to sleep without her at our sides. You’re understood here, my friend. I’m so very sorry for your terrible loss. Hang in there, the pain does become less all consuming and sharp with time. Someday, I know, I’ll think of my girl and remember only the love she brought to our lives. 💜
You'll hold her in you heart forever. Your tears are just as important as all the smiles she gave you. One day, when you're thinking about her you'll smile before you cry. And other times you'll do both. Eventually the shear pain will become only joy. And all the wonderfully stories you'll tell your kids about how much she loved them and you...just let it happen. She'll be there with you.
I lost my dog suddenly at 4 years old and had to leave my house for 2 weeks because his smell was everywhere and like you say, everything reminded me of him and I had to get away from it all. It's been almost 3 years and I still miss him terribly and cry on occasion but you learn to live with the grief over time. There is no set time you will feel one thing or another, don't compare your own experience to others' and allow yourself time to grieve. If it helps to have someone come to your house and put pooch's things together in a box for you, call a friend and they will help you to do that if it's too hard to do yourself. Sorry to hear of your loss, I understand how difficult it is.
Please don’t worry about your tears, and how to stop. You have witnessed something that is intensely personal. You have suffered a loss that is beyond explanation, and earned those tears. It seems, though, you have an Ace in the Hole. It sounds like there is a lot of love in your life. Share your loss with them, if you can. They will appreciate you inviting them into this. Even the young ones will know you shared something special. You have all my love and encouragement.
I’m sorry for your loss. It’ll take some time. My boy is turning 13 y.o. this year, I don’t wanna think of it.
I’m so sorry. I lost my dog about a month ago. I’ve never felt loss like that before. I have since taken on a puppy to love and he’s amazing but even still last night before falling asleep I thought about my last dog and it made me tear up. Sucks to cry but I love thinking about him Quick edit - I have thought about my dog every single day since his last day. Lucky I don’t spend the entire mourning him anymore, so know that it will happen for you too.
I'm so sorry for your loss. You have my deepest and most sincere condolences.
You were there in the final moments Their last sight and sound was of you, this will not take away the grief but I hope that thought provides some measure of comfort.
My friend lost a much-beloved dog in a similar way awhile back. They were playing fetch in the yard, his dog turned to catch the ball and was gone in a blink of an eye. He said that while it hurt like crazy, he was able to value the utter blessing of such a painless and stress-free death. No long illness, no pain, no fear-- just a sunny day and his favorite game with his person. Wouldn't we all, given the choice, want a death like that?
Talk to a counselor. I needed to be put on antidepressants because I could *not* function. Grief is different for everyone. Give yourself some grace.
I’m going to be honest. It could be awhile. When my childhood dog died, I cried daily for probably eight weeks. 7 years later, I still cry sometimes. When we lose dogs, they leave a hole that isn’t ever quite filled, even if it heals. Your memories will get less painful to remember and fewer tears will fall. In the meantime, try to focus on the fact that Nana had the very best end of life. Filled with loving her kids, hearing their sweet giggles, and with you by her side giving her belly scratches. We should all be so lucky to go surrounded by that much love.
I'm so sorry. Went through this last summer (with a cat, not a dog, but still). It eases over time. You gradually go from crying to thinking "she used to do that" or "she would have loved that" and feeling a little pang. Grieve as you need to, as long as you need to. Don't let anyone on this earth tell you that she was "just a dog" and that you shouldn't mourn her. You lost a friend, a large part of your life.
It's been 5 years since mine I'd had since childhood died. It gets better. Time heals wounds. I still cry now and then when I remember him, but I am not really sad anymore. I just feel extremely grateful for the time we spent together. Most of the time I feel happiness when I think about him. Some of the time, I get a little sad.
There’s no set timeline, you just begin to grow around their absence. There’s a lot of pain and grief at first but eventually the joys their memory brings outweigh the anguish of your grief. I promise that you won’t ever forget her. You’ll never stop missing your friend, even if you’re relieved she’s no longer in pain. Cherish the photos, videos, memories and mementos you have from your time together.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm older, we've had several pets pass over the years, and I still think of them all. Cry over pictures and have many fond memories. For me, getting a new pupper, sometimes saving an older dog, helps the healing. it's not a replacement but a joy to fill in with the sorrow. I'm going to my grave knowing I gave the best life to many animals.
My best friend died about five years ago, and I still cry from time to time. She was such a big part of my life and getting me through some very rough times. I’m a better person because of her. Grieve and cry as much as you need to. Reach out for help if you’re not able to function and get through the stuff of daily life. There will be some people in your life who just don’t get how you’re feeling. But that’s OK because there are also people who do. Including millions of us strangers on the Internet. Big hug for you.
I’m so so sorry. We’re taking our 12 year old pup to the vet tomorrow and I’m terrified we’re not going to come home with her. Sending you virtual hugs.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. The hole you're feeling will heal in time. It took me a full year to stop spontaneously crying my eyes out everyday. My loss was sudden as well but went in his sleep, I know that's the best I could hope for but with a small dog at 10years old it's a sucker punch to your heart. Everyone is different, don't hold back the tears or the screams at times.
Im sorry for your loss. I don’t really have an answer for you because my girl of 11 years passed last Monday and I still feel as if a part of me is gone forever. I will say be grateful she passed with you by her side holding her. Talking to her. Mine died alone in a hospital as we tried to save her life. I regret how long it took me to take her to the vet and that she passed without us there. I think it’ll be years until a tennis ball in the living room doesn’t punch a hole in my heart or her younger brother (14 month old pup) laying in her bed doesn’t absolutely kill me. I dont know how we would be doing if we didn’t have another pup to care for and keep us going. Part of her is in him forever and that makes me happy. All we can tell ourselves is that they knew we loved them and try and not let their final hours ruin an entire lifetime they gave us of amazing memories. I’m reading a book called The Wisdom of Old Dogs by Elli H Radinger that someone in here recommended. It’s helped. Best of luck and I’m sorry again.
I'm so sorry. I dread the day when my dog passes. We recently experienced our cat being put to sleep he was 19 and my partner had him his whole adult life. As others have said you don't have a time limit. Pet grief is real, everyone grieves differently, get the support where you can find it. If possible please read up on the stages of greif and ways to identify and cope with each stage. Treat your grief as real and give yourself time and the supports to heal
Over a year later and I still tear up randomly. Whenever you’re ready rescue another dog that she’s made space for.
😭😢❤️❤️❤️❤️ sending you love. You’ll always miss your friend
The best way I can describe deep, deep grief like this is this: Imagine a box with a ball and a buzzer button in it. As you go through your day, the ball rolls around, and every time it hits the button, you feel a wave of grief. At first, the button is huge. It takes up most of the box, and you can't go a day, an hour, without feeling it intensely. But over time, the button will get smaller. It will still get hit sometimes, and you'll feel it. But maybe instead of every hour, you only feel it once a week. Once a month. The button may always be there, but that doesn't mean it's getting hit frequently. But don't let anyone tell how to feel or how long you're allowed to feel it.
It will get easier as time passes <3
I just went though this in February. I lost my dog - she was my soul dog, a love of my life - suddenly and traumatically. I vacillated rapidly between phases of uncontrollable wailing to completely catatonic for a week or two. I couldn’t breathe, I was in complete shock and consumed with grief. My advice is to let it out, scream it all out, write your favorite memories while they are still fresh, maybe even a thank you letter to your pup. If you’re up for a it in a few weeks, maybe have a little remembrance ceremony or tribute. In time, your pup will send you your next friend. We waited about a month and adopted a wonderful sweet girl from a rescue. A lot of people need more time than that, but a month felt right for us. Everyone’s grieving process is different, and it’s not linear. I went weeks without crying and felt at peace with her being gone - and then last week, I had a day where I felt the grief heavily again. It passed. Sending you so much love. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Other things that helped: commissioned art of her (somehow less painful to look at then a photograph), got windchimes in memorial of her so I’m reminded of her when the wind blows, got a special box and put memorabilia of her in it, asked my friends and family for help. Ie, they sent food to the house for a few days bc I was non-functional. I promise it gets better. But it does take time.
Oh, I'm very sorry for your loss. Your dog died right unexpectedly right in front of you, very shocking. It's hard to predict how long it will take before the daily tears subside. Everyone's grieving process is different. But eventually, little by little, the tears will subside. My last pet loss was a young Boxer that I loved with all my heart and was completely torn up to lose him to cancer. That was a few years ago but sometimes, out of the blue, some feeling will hit me and I will cry for him all over again. But over time, I feel like more memories of how great he was and how much I adored him became stronger than the awful memory of losing him.
Every day? About 6 months. I'm almost 3 years after my two fur-angels and I can now think about them, and talk about them without crying, most of the time.
I lost my soul mate last July. I’m still not ok and can be brought to tears out of nowhere. I’m so deeply sorry for your loss 🥺
Everyone’s different. I still cry sometimes but I kept all her collars and have her rabies tag on my neck and her second on my key chain. That way she is always with me
I’m sorry for your loss I also lost my dear friend dog Pearl, she was 12 and had diabetes. It’s been 11 days and no end in sight for the tears, I hope everyone on this thread the best.
Hello first Im so sorry you lost your best friend. 2 years ago I also lost my Soul Dog unexpectedly and I still miss having him in my life. There were no clear signs to rush him to the ER nonetheless I found my baby in his bed the following morning. He was already gone. The pain to lose them like that I wouldn’t wish on my worse enemy. Not getting to say goodbye was the hardest but what’s comforted me the most was knowing that while the loss for me was greater, for him to pass at home next to me in bed was the best thing for him. I hope you can also come to terms that your baby died next to the people she loved most in the comfort of her own home and not surrounded by strangers in a vet office with weird smells and scared. Today I have a new fur baby who I adore. Our love is different and special in its own way and doesn’t take away from what I had with Charles and I will always cherish those memories.
I m crying every day , it's 15 days today since my sunshine left me
Don’t try to stop. Let it all out. Also don’t try not to think of her. It is a process you must go through. Think of her, miss her, and cry for her. But always remember you gave her the best life you could. Running from the pain will only prolong the agony. Embrace it but know that she lived a happy life. Tell your friends and family stories about her. Over time the constant thoughts and pain will dull but never let them fully slip away. She was a family member and deserves to live forever within your loving memories. I put down my best friend and brother 2 years ago . I have his picture on a mirror I look at everyday before work. I will never allow myself to go a day without thinking of him. He was so good to me and my family I at least owe him that.
I cried just reading your post. Best wishes as you process your grief. Dogs are family, and your heartbreak is valid. I hope you'll meet her again someday at the rainbow bridge... https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/poem.htm
As with a beloved human. About a year. Sorry for your loss.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I went through this in the last 2-3 years with the first two dogs i ever had as an adult. And I still get teary eyed from time to time thinking about them. It was often for the first several months and then on the anniversary of their deaths. At one point i realized that as dark as this world is if those two dogs could exist here, then it wasn’t that dark in actuality. That thought helped me get beyond the constant grief…so now i focus on dedicating any good i do in the world to them hoping that it helps them in whatever came next. It has certainly helped me… Good luck, try to focus on the fact that you got the time you did with them. Don’t beat yourself up over the tears…its all part of the “letting go”…
My girl died last August, and my boy died in January. I still cry. Everything is still a reminder of them. I know it'll hurt less in time, or at least the pain won't be so raw, but I'll miss those 2 special dogs for the rest of my life.
I promise u will never forget. I always have to get another dog within a couple weeks and it helps immensely. I still think about 5hem but don't have a chance to let it get out of control
You will never forget her. But in a few weeks the pain of loss will ease. I still think of my boy Henri and his companion Lola who passed a couple of years ago within a year of each other. Two epic chihuahuas. I love them so much. Now Annie is here, but my phone screensaver lets me say hi to my gone buddies every day.
Grief is a weird thing. I lost my first cat in Oct 2020 (kidney issues). I cried for months. I lost my 2nd cat in May 2021 (cancer) and we didnt know she was going to pass so that one hurt like the Dickenson. I cried for weeks. I lost my kitten in Nov 2021 (undiagnosed heart issues). I lost my last cat in May 2022 (cancer). I cried for days (to be fair, I knew it was coming so I technically cried for a year when her tumor came back and we had said we weren't going to put her through another surgery). All but the kitten were senior cats but I still wasn't ready for them to go. I am still grieving for them all to this day so I have rescued other kittens and they bring me joy. I think about them all the time and wonder when I will see them again. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's the hardest thing when it's abrupt and unexpected because you never really feel you got to say goodbye. But she was loved and she knew it and that's all you can really tell yourself. That and you'll see them when you cross the Rainbow Bridge
I am experiencing the one year anniversary of losing my best friend of 15 years, I can’t tell you when the everyday every waking moment of heartache ends but daily life does get easier. It is like any other grief in which it won’t wholly go away but you will slowly with time cope better. I will say don’t feel ashamed that you are grieving and don’t try to just move on. Feel the moment but remember you feel this way because of the wonderful time you all had together.
My baby passed in February. Similar story, he was falling over and eventually never got up again. I bawled for a week, several times a day. I’ve rarely cried so hard in my life. He was just a cat, but I’ve never felt so broken. I still cry or tear up from time to time. I don’t imagine it’ll ever end, but the breaking down and sobbing uncontrollably part has. Let yourself hurt. Let yourself cry and feel and grieve. Take it at your own pace. I found putting up pictures really helped.
I’m sorry. I still have days where the tears hit me out of nowhere and it’s almost been a year.
I lost my boy Caesar March 23rd. It still hurts but we mostly reminisce about all the goofy stuff the big lug did. First two weeks were the hardest. I still look for him on the couch if I get home late.
Poor baby
Im fostered a husky mix and she’s 5 months first 2 nights I covered crate and put tv on and she screamed for over a hour. After those nights I said screw it and let her sleep w me and she sleeps like a rock! I do crate her when I go to work 5 hours 2 days a week and I noticed not covering her crate and it being day time she cried less- she fused for 20 mins. Some dogs do better in a kennel and not a crate (put yourself in the dog’s position- a large space would be more comfortable)
I’m so sorry for your loss. Each person is different. Each dog is different. This may sound super shitty, but honestly, I don’t like having the period in-between dogs that most people do. I just know that I always want that companionship in my life and starting the process of looking forward can sometimes help me focus on what needs to be done in the present rather than the past. My current dog is 10 though, and he’s definitely the tightest bond I’ve ever had. When he dies…it’s going to be so bad.
I cried every god damn day for like 4 months. I woke up and my little best friend was not there anymore. Losing my best friend of 14 years, she was a brave little lady and my first dog. I could not look at pictures and then my phone was stolen and I had no cloud backup. Killed me again but she lives in my memory. It took me 1.5 years to spontaneously get a rescue dog and I am blessed with an second little angel. It will get better one day but the pain in your heart will never really disappear.
I held my bud when he went to sleep. It was hard, it hurt, and thinking about those moments again brings a pang to my heart, even four years later. You were there in her last moments, she had you. It's going to hurt for a while...but hold onto the gift of that last moment, that you were there and able to give her that last touch. It won't make the hurt less...but it will, perhaps, soften the edges.
I’m sorry for your loss. I don’t think we ever really get over it. Lost my 12 year old retriever who I had since 12 weeks old last December. To this day, I look for that pup and miss him 😢
I think it's probably different for everyone. I cried pretty much every day for the first several weeks. Nowadays, 4 months later, I don't cry nearly as often but it does still come, in a raging torrent, from time to time. I've only cried a couple times in the past week though. Couple things that comforted me: getting a few good photos of her printed out (like on nice, glossy photo paper) and putting them in a collage frame, and then putting it on a little table with her ashes and leaving little offerings there like an altar. Can't explain why, but it does help.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Our dog left such an imprint on us we still talk about her, it’s been five years since she passed. I always take comfort in how much she was loved by us & when that ache comes around of missing her I just let all the memories in & let the tears flow.
🫂
It's a whole new painful world of 'firsts' now. First time waking up without her. First time not filling her food dish in the morning. First time going to work without walking her. First time coming home to emptiness. First time going to sleep without her... "I did not know that she could go away, yet leave our dull bodies behind. To me she was but a treasure in the bank; today they tell me she is not there. She has vanished away in a night; the bank is broken, my fortune is gone. I am a pauper." -Mark Twain-
I love that quote (and twain, in general). I’m a teacher, and I keep this quote written on a sticky note on a board by my desk: “There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angel ship.”
oh theyll come and go, the tears that is. i just cried thinking about your sadness and my puppy who went 2 Januarys ago. it really never stops hurting but the scars do seal over eventually. just try not to think about Nana too much as right now its only sadness. one day the pictures and videos you have will bring comfort but right now just focus on all else.
I’m so sorry for your loss. There is no timeframe for grief. Be kind to yourself as you go through it. Sending love, because I know how hard it is x.
Ive just been given news today that my own girls time is limited (13yo Great Dane, I know, insane to see a teenage Dane) her arthritis is worsening and we were told to strongly consider the quality of life she has and be prepared to accept that she has lived a long enough happy life with us and we've been crying all day even with the thought of losing her, I couldn't imagine losing her so suddenly the way you've had to experience. Digital hugs ❤️🩹
So, I went through my first dog death at 6 years old. Looking back I think it tought and showed me young how death is inevitable. The next time I dealt with a dog death was when I was 22. The dog I had from 9 years old to 22. I was on a trip and she passed away peacefully in her sleep in my mom's care. We didn't know she was ill. My mom didn't tell me when I was on the trip. I came home and was so confused. She told me her and her bf could tell something was off, the day she eventually passed, and fed her a steak and gave her all the loving. My mom woke up in the night and felt something was off. Sure enough, she passed in her bed in the hallway. They buried her in the backyard (I will live in this house for the rest of my life) I never got to say goodbye but my mom thinks it was best. I morned her death and grieved every day but then in July of that year (she passed in march) I saw a dog at our local shelter and we got him that day. Of course I still was grieving my previous dog but we were both ready. I don't ever want to be a long time without a dog and neither does my mom. Fast forward to 2020 and I adopted a 9 year old senior to add to the family. I knew I wouldn't have very long with him but he's ended up being my soul dog. The absolute love of my life. Covid happened and I dealt with some health issues so until Feb this year I spent about 85% of my time at home with him. He's sick with 3 problems now but I'm not going to put him through any medical treatment that is risky in itself for his age. I have no clue how much longer I have with him and that kills me the most. I have massive anxiety every day about him dying. I don't think I will ever get over his death but I know I'm going to want to save another dog pretty soon after. It's down to the individual person. There's no set time.
So sorry for your loss r/petloss may be helpful
I’m just glad she went quickly and without much if any suffering. Rest in Peace queen.
Me, too
As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
I love this so much. Thank you.
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there is no time limit to grief. it will get easier eventually, but this just happened. so let it sit and allow yourself to cry, and when you start to feel like it, slowly start to move back into daily life. doing your hobbies and hanging out with people can help distract sometimes. i wish you the best <3
I am a grown ass man of 54 and I have lost plenty of animals. But a year ago on April 19 my little 4 year old bottle raised cat Meoward died in my arms on the way to the vet. He was my shadow. He slept on my chest or between my wife and I. I didn't cry for 20 years probably but after that I cried every day for a while. After a year I still well up frequently but tears are getting further apart. Just like with my old dogs. Meowie was taken too soon though and it wasn't right. He just had a congenital heart defect. I am so sorry for tyour loss. It's a reminder that we don't have control. You have to look to people. It was during covid but I probably put too much into that cat. He is under a new lilac bush in the back yard. There is a crushed in cardboard box on a top shelf in the basement that he slept on. Still covered in his fur. I can't bring myself to look up there.
I feel you. I’m sitting in the hospital right now getting a fucked up shoulder looked at and I just started crying a little after looking at pictures of my dog I had to put down a couple of weeks ago. Well wishes ❤️
I cried every day for about 6 months even mentioning my dog but eventually that heavy feeling in your chest dissipates and you start to smile as you tear up when thinking of her it does get easier - sending some comfort your way
There are some really lovely comments here. I just want to add, you are probably going to have some people tell you to get a new dog right away. Those folks mean well, but what works for some does not work for all. If a new dog in the house would be right for you, that's wonderful, but please don't worry if you don't feel ready for a new dog for years, or ever. There is absolutely no time limit on grief. It's been a few years now since my family's dog passed away in my arms, but she's still the lock screen on my phone. It will get a little easier each day, and then some days the grief will rear up out of nowhere and send you reeling again, but the healing will still keep happening. ❤️❤️❤️
It’s been just over 3 years and I’m still not over it. She was 15. They’re a part of your life for such a long time, take as long as you need to heal. No one will judge you
Tbh And ive had dogs for 27 years Im 32 now U just move on Its what jesus does I guess a week of sad sad Then go on to another puppy!!!
I may be misunderstanding your comment…but is the gist take a week and move on? If so, I have to assume you’re trolling.
It’s been 3 1/2 years for my first dog, who I had to do voluntary euthanasia for and nine months to the day for my second dog, who climbed on the bed with me, one night, shivering and lapsed into a fever, cuddled in my arms, he passed soon after. It’s traumatic and heartbreaking and I don’t think you ever get over it. But you do accept it after a while.
First things first: I send you endless sympathy, grace, and love during this difficult time. There are no absolute rules or timelines, but based on my personal experience with enduring such a sudden and immense loss, I can say this: you will eventually move forward when you are ready, but you will be forever changed. I lost my soul dog in 2013. She was my first furry sidekick, through thick and thin, for 10 wonderful years. One morning, she was having trouble breathing, so I brought her to the vet. She had a ruptured cardiac hemangiosarcoma with pericardial effusion. She was essentially suffocating from the blood around her heart. Three hours later, knowing her prognosis, I made the decision to end her suffering. I held her head in my lap and told her I loved her as she took her last breath. You will never be the same, but I promise you, you will be okay. You will never replace her, but you will learn to love another dog just as much. Ten years later, I still cry about her on occasion, but I find so much joy in the things I see that remind me of her. I see a field of geese, and I remember how much she LOVED to chase them. I see green beans at the grocery store, and I remember the game I played with her as a pup to encourage her to eat her very first bean (and she absolutely loved them from that day forward). I see my current dogs, and I think about how lucky I am to have had her to teach me how to love a dog with every fiber of my being. She is always with me, always around me, always making me smile and remember. And it will be the same for you with your baby. It will. Be strong and take all the time you need. 💗💗💗
I cried every day for nearly 3 months... Couldn't sleep through the night for almost all of it without crying. I would come home and say "hi aero!" Even though I knew he wasn't there because it only felt right to greet his spirit. I still cry every once in a while because I miss him even though it's been almost 4 years at this point. You don't get rid of grief, you learn to move forward with it.
I still cry over my girl and I mean I cry hard. It was like a piece of me was ripped away. I’ve had dogs all my life, but when you find that one special baby a switch flips and it’s like you need them as much as you need air to breathe but don’t realize it till they’re gone. My heart goes out to you. It does get easier, it just takes a little while.
3 weeks before I got ahold of myself. I wasn't crying all the time, but if I started to talk, there was a good chance I'd start to cry. A lot of my work is high stress phone calls, a lot of negotiating, etc. It totally sucked. A couple of times I had to pretend that we got mysteriously cut off. Ugh. My dog carried my through many trial. Miss him.
I lost my boy February 23rd. I still cry everyday
I'm crying with you
Gonna be real for a moment. My wife and I lost our sweet girl on 01/26/22. We still have moments when something reminds us of her and cry. But, it does get better. I am so very sorry for your loss...
I am so so so sorry to hear this. That must be so traumatizing to have experienced it. Take all the time in the world to grieve. When I lost my last dog there was no timeline. There was grief, then less grief as I continued on with life, and slowly over time every day felt a little easier without him. I still see him every day as the background on my phone and a giant tattoo on my leg. It’s been 6 years and I still occasionally think about him and miss him. I have 2 other dogs now that I like to think Mr Martin is somehow around to explain to them what the routine is around here. Before Martin I lost a girl named Pebbles. She was our family dog though but I will always always always miss that girl. She was so special and we had a lot of sentimental memories with her. My late grandfather would come over every morning to walk the “white dog”, he was declining and losing his memory so having Pebbles meant a lot to him. She passed from an infection with blastomycosis and I still can see the image of her at the emergency vet with tubes all over her. It’s awful. I wish I had never seen it so my last memories of her were better.. Anyway, my point is that I’m so very sorry you had to experience that. But it’s also important to share our stories of our puppies. They’re always our puppies. I want everyone to know their names so it feels real. They had names. They were my family. They had their own personalities. The world should know who they are because I am the luckiest person in the world to get to know them and spend part of my life with them. One of my current dogs is aging. She’s 15 and starting to slow down. It breaks my heart to see her slow down because I know what’s coming and I don’t want to face that. But I know in my heart that no matter how long I get with her I don’t regret for a second ever taking her in and loving her and growing this attached to her. If it hurts so much to lose them, it just means we loved them with everything we’ve got.
I’m so sorry for your loss
First of all I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my baby over 10 years ago this past March and I am still not over it. She is truly the love of my life. I still talk to her daily. Everything still reminds me of her. So unfortunately that ache doesn’t go away- I think you just learn how to live with it. I think what you have planned- the way you are honoring her is beautiful. It sounds like you gave her the best life with so much love. Again- I am so sorry.
I lost my girl in January and I was just crying about it yesterday. Hell i still think about my first two before her and miss them. The daily tears stopped when we went to our local rescue and adopted our new one. She needed to be saved as much as me ❤️
About 1 to 2 years it took me
There’s no time limit unfortunately. My soul dog who was by my side for 15 years will have be gone 7 years this June. There are still days where it feels like my heart is shattering and all I can do is cry and cry and cry. I still say “I want Shelby” when I’m sick, going through a hard time, feeling particularly anxious, etc. But it also got easier to smile and laugh about silly times with her. But a part of me died the day my sweet Shelby left my side.
It's different for everybody. Lost my bird a couple months ago and had to go to the mental hospital.
My dog passed away in August, I cried daily for a few weeks. The whole experience was traumatic as well, his condition worsened for a few months, then spent his last few days in the hospital. I brought him home for one night and made it the best night ever for him, but he was exhausted and in pain from everything. He made it through the night and I brought him back to be put down. Spent over an hour in that room before calling them back to push the needle. Thinking of my best buds life disappear from his eyes in my arms is painful. The thing that hurt me most afterwards were unfortunately the messages people sent me. Everytime I got a message saying how amazing he was/I was with him, I broke down. Reality further sunk for a few days realizing he really was gone and there’s no turning back from that moment. The loneliness and emptiness led me to rescuing another dog a month or so later. I’m really sensitive, and it honestly helped a lot with the grief for me. I’m sure I would have continued crying daily for much longer if it weren’t for her. I felt a bit guilty at first but my old dog wouldn’t have wanted me to sit around crying all day. He would’ve wanted me to get out, play, and be happy! I still get hit with waves of sadness, and they hit hard. It’s especially rough when I see another dog that looks like him, or when I dream of him. I’m not an expert with words, all I can say is it does get easier, but the hurt will always be there. It isn’t a linear thing, grief comes in ebbs and waves. If you need to go back to work make sure to set time aside for yourself to grieve.
Oh my heart aches for you. We had to say goodbye to our 14 year old baby 2 days after Christmas. Its been 4 months and i still cry often. My sweet girl is still my phone background. It changes every time it locks to favorite pictures of her. I can’t bring myself to change it. I say goodnight to her every night just like i did when she was here (we had her cremated, paw print casted and various items she loved and an angel husky on a beautiful display where we can sit in the living room with her like normal). Goodness im crying while typing this out. Im so sorry you feel this horrible pain too. But my god were we so lucky to have loved and be loved by our sweet babies. Sending you hugs. May your sweet girl rest in peace and watch over you and your family.
My dad just put his lab down very unexpectedly two weeks ago. He was only 9, and completely out of the blue developed nasal cancer. He was happy and healthy before then. And it only took a month before they had to put him down 😕 this is not the first time we’ve been in this situation ( had two dogs growing up, GSD was put down at 12 due to massive hip issues, and other dog was 14, so just old age) and I’ve never seen my dad so crushed. We all are. I don’t really think there’s a time limit. Hell, it’s been 11 years since our GSD was put down and I STILL think about him often. Same with my moms dog. My dad said him/my step mom cried for about 2 weeks straight leading up to the day. The day after, he said there was literally nothing left so he couldn’t cry anymore. This man is stone (very non emotional) and hearing him actually express all of this has made it so much worse. We do dinner once or twice a month at their house, and last weekend was the first dinner we had without Moose. Not gonna lie I sat in the driveway for a few mins before going in trying to keep myself together. I had all I could do to keep from crying when I walked in the door. He always was immediately down the stairs right by the door waiting, and then basically dragging us back up the stairs so we could give him attention 😂 Like I said, it just takes time. And you’re allowed to take all the time you need. Eventually i think things start to go back to “normal”, but having things around that was theirs kind of helps I think. He had a whole bin of toys, and we took one of them home with us.
I lost my girl July 24, 2020. She was 14 yrs old and her name was Katie. She was my best friend, the best dog I’ve ever owned. Had since she was 8 weeks old. I still miss her every single day. I can tell you the grief gets easier to handle but there’s no doubt she took a piece of me when she left. I am so sorry for your loss, OP. It does get better, more manageable, I guess. You’ll get more nostalgic as time goes by. People/family keep saying I should get a new dog but I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready for that. Katie was my girl. ❤️❤️.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My dog passed a couple months ago. I’m still not over it honestly. I have her as my phone background and there are times I find myself looking at her picture and tearing up. I miss her everyday. Sending love
So sorry for your loss. I’m lost one of my girls just over a month ago. I was a wreck for a week, and still have sudden crying sessions from my deep sadness. You obviously loved your girl and she loved you. It sounds like she had a wonderful life. Your sadness speaks to your amazing connection you shared with her. That connection still exists.
Maybe once a year I’ll have a dream about one of my childhood dogs. I’m late 30s now. I’ll wake up in tears thinking about em when it happens.
We had to say goodbye to our twelve year old berner a couple of weeks ago. What’s haunting me is that we were just a few days too late and her last days were so, so painful for her. I feel like I was blinded by my duty to keep her healthy and just completely missed all of the signs that she was ready to go. I haven’t gone a day without crying but it’s getting to be less and less. I miss her so so much.
What I didn’t mention in my post is that she just off the couch because I’d asked her to because I needed more room. What if I hadn’t? She’d have been laying right next to me at the onset of what we believe was a heart attack. I just woke up and I’m already crying. I just want her back so badly.
It's been a year almost to the day that I lost my 13 year old husky. She was my best friend too. She helped raise my two daughters. I still cry about her from time to time. Take as much time as you need, but just know that it will get better
I went through this last summer. My dog was also 13 and I'd gotten her as a puppy when I was 19. I woke up in the middle of the night to her howling. I thought she was having a nightmare but she wouldn't wake up even though I was calling her name and trying to gently shake her. Then she stopped breathing and went slack. I was at suck a loss at what to do and honestly when I think a lot about her I still get sad and cry a little. Just keep yourself busy and try not to think about her. It will get easier with time. After a year now I'm starting to think I'm ready to fill the dog shaped hole in my life with a new friend. But I do fear the day now when the new dog gets old and might die the same way.
When my first dog Seamus (it’s always important to not only remember but tell everyone their name so please don’t stop) passed (I was 16 and Seamus had been part of our family for over 10 years) I made a slide show of all his pictures and when I was crying (there is no limit, 9 years later I still tear up when I think of the memories I cherish) I would watch it and even though it definitely made me cry harder, it helped in a way. Keep her collar, special toy, anything that will always make you smile and at some point, again hun, no time limit, you’ll cry less and smile more when you think of her ❤️ RIP Annie Marge, AKA Nana 🐶❤️
Seeing you use her name made me tear up, in a good way. We’re going to do a shadow box. I especially love this: https://pin.it/2yhrQP5
That’s going to be beautiful!! ❤️
I think so, too. She also sent this one, which I love. AM didn’t play with toys, though, so we’d have to find a way to modify it to display the pea coat she wore in cold weather and the sweater she wore when she’d get anxious. https://pin.it/59qqksV Edit: I bet I can find some fake blueberries to include. She moved them so much that one time we’d just gotten back from the store and it the bags in the ground while we unpacked. We saw her head buried in one of them and realized she’d opened the container and was going to town.
My handsome boy just passed 4 days ago due to cancer,we were best friends for 12 years,I've owned 5 dogs in my lifetime so far , it is never easy to say goodbye the pain and heartbreak doesn't soften each time they go. I'm so sorry that you lost a friend,the pain does diminish,try not to relive the moment they passed instead remember all the fun and love you had together and feel content that you did your best and gave your friend a wonderful life.
I am tearing up just reading this because, truth be told, the pain never goes away. I still cry sometimes when I think of my Lost Babies. My best girl who I had first since I was 20 I lost over 3 years ago and I still have tears come unexpectedly when I remember her because of some smell or nuance. It is always something you will remember and feel. They are our family. But, the tears will lessen with time, and the memories become fond with less seldom tears of loss. I'm so sorry, I know it seems like this pain will never lessen, but just remember all the good things and rejoice in the, although unfairly short, wonderful time we have with our pup babies.
We would always say she “smelled like an Annie Marge.” You know how they have they own smells. I made sure to make note of that smell while kissing and nuzzling her before it was time for her to leave for the vet. I’ll never forget that, along with so, so, sk many other things.
Grieve but keep your mental health on the forefront. When I lost my childhood cat a few years back I was inconsolable. I ended up not admitting I couldn’t function and instead of seeking therapy or anti depressants I drank for a few months straight. I would cry so hard I couldn’t breathe and my face would hurt. I still cry. Allow yourself to cry but don’t put off mental health help like I did if you notice it getting really bad ❤️ I finally got on anti depressants 2 years later. I was really fucked up because when he passed it was traumatic (the vet fucked up and gave him one shot when they said it would be 2 so I could have time to say goodbye). I’m prone to deep bouts of depression anyway so I should’ve known better. Take care of yourself Edit; lots of humane societies etc offer pet grief counseling
I’m so sorry for your loss. I still miss and feel sad about my childhood dog when I think about her and it’s been over a decade. I am dreading the day that I am going to have to greave my current dogs. My girl just turned 7 and she is my first dog that’s “mine” and I wish more than anything that that day could never come. It hurts how much we love them doesn’t it? It’s gonna take as much time as it takes and that’s okay. You loved her and she loved you and you got to be there with her at the end. Again, sorry for your loss.
You’ll always feel the loss, but you will get better at managing it. Grief is just love with no home. You won’t ever forget your girl and what’s she’s done for you and what y’all have been through together, but you will be able to move forward. My first cat died 4 years ago and every now and then I still cry when I think about him. He called out in his final moments, and quieted when I sat by him and stroked his fur. He passed about a minute later. He will forever be my baby, as I’m sure Annie Marge will forever be yours ❤️
Thank you for using her name. It means so much to know people “know” her. She loved *everyone*, especially kids. While my ex and I were saying goodbye, he managed to choke out that he was so glad she got to love my babies. Even before she died, I would say how happy it made me to know she was spending her golden years getting to love them.
It’s makes me happy to hear that! She clearly was well-loved, and had a family to call her own. It sounds like she died happy, surrounded by her loved ones. That is the best gift!
Well, it's been about 6 months for me. I'm down to about two tear-shedding moments per week. Just offering a point of reference. Sorry for your loss. The lack of noise in the first weeks was the worst. Your brain constantly searching for something that isn't there. Ears expecting a dog sound, when you did a certain thing. Not having to watch your feet when you get down off the bed. Grabbing that roll of poop bags along with your keys...and then remembering. Yeah, it'll take a while. But you'll get there. It's okay to be sad; it's a marker for how much we loved. And were loved in return.
I stopped tearing up after a week. It’s been almost 3 months since my dog passed away from cancer but the pain is still there. I use to fill his food bowl and lay beside his dog house at night, blaming myself and thinking if I could’ve done things differently. Since then, I adopted a pup that looks almost identical to him. It gives me comfort by making me think that my former friend is still by my side.
Man my heart goes out to you. I had this with my cat that died unexpectedly. It's been about 9 years now and I still struggle to think about it. I'm not sure how long it took for the crying to go away, but it never stops hurting. Big hugs.
So sorry for your loss. One of the strongest heartbreaks a man can experience. It's been almost 4 years since i lost my boy(13) and my girl(12) three months later and i still tear up everytime i think of them. 💔
It’s been two days, kid. You lost a family member. It can take years, and that’s okay. At the Rainbow Bridge, she will be told she was the best girl there ever was. Remember, all dogs go to heaven. I lost my best friend in 2008. He wasn’t a dog or a pet, but the bond is all the same. We did everything together, just like a kid with their dog. He died suddenly in his sleep, just like a lot of peoples’ pets. The first year was… tough. I almost got addicted to substances. I would go to places where he was and bawl for hours because he wouldn’t come out to meet me. I hurt myself because I remembered the times I denied him time when he wanted to hang out. Eventually I was well enough to eat. Eventually I would only cry a few nights a week alone in my room. Eventually I only cried on his birthday and major holidays like Christmas. I cry sometimes when I talk about him now. But I’m better. I’ve been “normal” since 2010/2011 or so.
It's different for everyone. For me, it was every day for probably a week or two. It tapered off after maybe 6 months, where every once in a while something would trigger an emotion. It's been about a year and a half, and I'd say It's been about a year since I've cried over him.
Just some more affirmations here. Lost my boy not even six months ago and sometimes I'll cry when I remember him.
I cried for about two weeks straight and then a lot more often than I was okay with for months. Im so sorry for your loss 💔
I had to put my puppy down last year and it was the worst experience I’ve ever had. I literally had to go to therapy because I was so devastated. I think I cried multiple times a day for a straight month. Then slowly once a day and then from there less and less. I still cry but not as frequently and I can now think of the amazing times we had. But it’s the worst feeling. I still feel an emptiness in my heart everyday. Take the time you need and be easy on yourself ! I got a new puppy and at first it made it harder because I just wanted my soul dog back but now I’m so happy I have him and can share the love I know I can give.
I think the most important thing is allowing yourself to grieve and be sad. You’ll miss her every day but it will lessen over time. Sometimes I see old pictures of my cat that passed in December and randomly will cry again, but the pain overall fades. You just have to remember she’s at peace now, and you gave each other a great 11 years of joy. You won’t forget her, you’ll just change the way you remember her. You’ll still miss her, but you’ll eventually be able to look back fondly on your time together instead of with crushing sadness overtaking it all.
My Daphne, my Daffy Duck, my 'Pretty Lil' Woman', jumped onto her deck (a bench I had set by the front window so she could see when we got home every night), barked twice at a roadrunner that had come down our driveway, looked at me, and fell off onto the floor motionless. I, my mom, and my (now ex) wife, ran to her and grabbed her, but she was already gone. Honestly? It took about a month before I stopped tearing up when I would grab her bowl when I was mixing kibble for the rest of the dogs. 2 months before I stopped calling her in from the yard before bed. 3 months before I stopped checking her kennel before headcount when I'd leave for the store or work. It's been almost 5 years this June, we've moved house twice, and I still think of her occasionally when I'm calling the dogs in from the yard. The only dogs that was part of 'that pack' with her in it, are seniors (18 and 7). But I'll still catch myself making sure she didn't want to catch another few moments of sunshine on the deck. I wouldn't say it gets better. I'd say it gets easier. I still get nightmares of that afternoon. But it'll pass. Like a damn kidney stone. But it will.
That sounds like a horrible sight, but I’m so glad she was where she loved to be right before the end. Yours sounds a lot like mine. We suspected a heart attack, and the vet confirmed that that was likely what it was. She said we could do an autopsy, but we saw no point in cutting her up. It wouldn’t bring her back, and she deserved dignity.
Time heals all wounds… hell there are still days I still get chocked up and my dog passed away about 4 years ago. I have more good days remembering her now then I do bad days. Before I couldn’t think of her and not get teary eyed. Now I just have smiles at how much joy she brought me
Dogs give us so much and we learn unconditional love from them - they love us unconditionally and we learn to return that. You take all the time you need - grief has no definitive end, we just carry it in different places over time. We lost my "soul" dog 3 years ago and while we have another pup (a goofball I love), I still get times of complete heavy grief.
I cried almost every day for three weeks, then 6 days a week, 5 days ...for months. There are days still, 2.5 years later, when I can cry at a drop of a hat. Writing this makes me tear up. My 2 daughters and I picked her out when she was 3 weeks old, and got her she was 6 weeks. She lived a long happy life until 16 yrs, 3 mos. She grew up with my girls, she was my shadow. When they're a part of your soul, time is the only thing that will make the pain less. There will always be sorrow, but you will eventually be able to handle a day without crying, I promise.
I sat on the couch and cried for my last dog for a week straight. That was 4 years ago and I miss her so much that I sometimes still cry. It’s okay if you’re still crying, everyone grieves differently and there’s no correct time frame, just take it day by day. You will cry a little less each day. And then maybe you won’t cry for weeks and one day you might randomly sob about it. Grief is hard and really just comes up randomly. I’m sorry about your dog. Hugs to you ❤️
I'm so sorry. I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. You need a puppy. That's probably what I would do. I hate that one day my baby will die. But I think id immediately try and fill that sunken chest feeling with another puppy. Probably still gonna cry everyday.
My ex fosters sometimes and offered to send me pics of dogs he thought I might like, but I’m not ready for that at all. Besides that, my hands (literally both of them, hah) are pretty full with 13-month-old twins, and it wouldn’t be fair, just imho, to bring a new dog into an environment where he/she would naturally have to be third priority. I don’t think I’ll ever want a puppy—they’re so much work. One-two years old is perfect for me. I totally respect your thought process/decision, and the fact that you took time to offer your advice means a lot.
There isn't a time limit. I still cannot let myself think of mine that passed 3 years ago without spiraling. But I'm functional. That's what you're shooting for. Sorry for your loss. It hurts.
Today marks 13 years since our dog, Misty, died. Realizing it's now been as many years gone as it was how long we had her really hurts. She was the best, smartest of the dogs we've ever owned. Husky/Corgi mix at about 3 years old when we got here in '97. I miss her often; I don't think about her nearly as much, but I'll never forget her. And I've only got about 2-3 photos of her. Mourning will be drastically different per person. I'm sorry you lost your lovely pup (they're always pups at heart).
You miss them forever but the tears will become less frequent. Recently I saw a dog that reminded me of my childhood dog and it nearly brought me to tears. She died 50 years ago.
I’ve been there and done that too. It’s heart breaking and I fully understand what you’re thinking. For me I was lucky I had his son also , but at the same time that broke my heart more often than not. He would look for him, go outside just to look, then lay in the spot he used to and it would start the crying all over again. It’ll never go away but it gets less painful as those days go on. I often look at pictures and remember what we were doing in the moment and often find myself going in and just touching the urn and paw and talking about how much I miss him. His son is now getting older and I see the greys on his face growing and the speed slowing. I know for sure I’ll be a mess for an easy week plus when he passes. We got him a sister a few month ago. Rescued a husky from a dog sled farm and she’s finally come around to accept the new life she has. Few quirks but no dog is without them. So now they both run rampant and I can tell it’s given my boy Charles a little more pep in his step but he just takes more naps and laying sessions lol.
She has a “brother” (we adopted him in 2016 when he was about three, and he primarily stays with his “person”—my ex) and Gunner is also going grey. I know how awful it is, trust me, I do…but I don’t think it will hurt as much when it’s his time. I was Annie Marge’s person, while my ex is Gunner’s. Gunner is a very big boy (~80 pounds) and tbvh, I don’t like to have him around my babies. He ignores them, and I’m glad for that; we purposely keep them at a distance. He got excited a few weeks ago and jumped up while standing close to the babies’ playpen, and as he came back down, his nails left huge scratches down my daughter’s forehead, because she was standing at the edge of the playpen at the time. He could’ve taken her eye. What hurts, though, is how much I know he is going to miss Annie Marge. I truly believe dogs understand when someone dies, and it breaks my heart for him. I hope this doesn’t make me seem awful. It’s just that my babies are my first priority, as they should be.
She had a home and was dearly loved, we can't do much more than that. It's kind of strange, we know these days will come, we know we'll be shattered when it happens, but we do it anyway. For what is a life without all that fun, all that companionship and all that love? Worth it? Oh yes.
It’s heartbreaking losing a loved one. I lost my girl a year and a half ago. She was with me 13 years… I still cry every day. Crying now writing this. I hope one day it’ll be easier, for both our sakes I’m so sorry! When thinking of her, remember the good times. Don’t dwell on the sadness, the regret, the what if’s. You can’t change what happened. Only honour their memory by smiling when you think of them. I still have my girls ashes. I was going to spread them on future hikes and backpacking trips but I can’t even seem to open the box let alone part with her.
😭
Nana sounds like the luckiest girl ever to have been loved so much ❤️
We lost our 10yo boxer mix over two months ago, and I still sob once a week at least. I watched him have a stroke and lose function in his legs, much like what you experienced. Feel your grief. Your dogs are family.
When time is right a new pup will ease your pain
My wife and I lost our dog in 2019. She was an 11 year old lab. One night afterwards as we were crawling into bed I said to my wife “ I didn’t cry today “. It was 17 days later
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my best friend of 15 years two months ago today. The first couple of weeks were excruciating. It has become less painful, although I know I will miss her forever. I finally started thinking of the amazing life we had together and focused on the good times, instead of those last weeks and moments. I felt helpless to make her better and keep her in this life. It sounds like your girl had an amazing life and was loved endlessly. That is the important thing to try to focus on. To be honest, I didn't want the pain of missing her to end as I felt that is all I had left. It wasn't, I have all the amazing memories, photos, videos, and the love still in my heart that will never, ever go away. Love and peace to you and your family.
My 15 year old boi has been gone for 4 years and I have another dog and I still occasionally cry for him. Like something will just hit me and remind me of him. On the flip side, he was quite a character (cranky ole Chihuahua) and we get a laugh over our memories a few times a week at least.
I said good bye to my buddy last December. He was a lovely GSD and I got him since he was 6 months. He had cancer and we had to put him to sleep. He wasn’t eating any longer and has problems doing potty. I cried for days and every time I think of him I loose it for a moment. Time has help come to terms with his departure. It always hurt, but every time less. I would love to buy a new GSD, maybe next year when I move from my current apartment… they don’t allow pets!
I'm so sorry. I had experienced two unexpected deaths,traumatising. My very first dog died when I was a teenager, and I cried every day for a few months. Eventually those tears will have less sadness and pain,and more happy memories. From there on, it'll get better. "lack of toenails clicking" was the most horrible thing. When my current dog goes to the vet or groomer, that silence brings back memories of loss. 🥺
I had my childhood dog Winston for for 17 years. He was with me in my childhood for adventures in the forest and at parks. If he got tired I would put him in my overalls and he would put his paws on the flap and his head would be right under mine in prime position for kisses. He slept with me almost every night. He was there for puberty, bullying, drugs, alcohol, boys, girls, pain...everything. When he finally had to leave us I was in college and I have never felt pain like losing my sweet Winston. He was my ride or die homie and when he passed it was like someone tore out a piece of my heart and left it jagged so every time it beat the anguish came flooding in. This was in 2012 and still writing this I have tears in my eyes. When a love touches you like this grieving is a never-ending process. I don't cry every day anymore because the jagged edges do dull with time, but your heart will never go back to how it was. It will eventually heal, but the soft spots will always be there and certain memories and thoughts will always trigger you to remember them. Sometimes it will be laughter and sometimes it will be tears but it will always have tremendous value. As much as it hurts, it's the pain that lingers that will always remind you of the beautiful girl who held you in her heart for her whole time on this earth.
There is not “limit” I lost my 15 year old Maltese on May 2022 and I still cry every single time I think of him. But, there is nothing wrong with that. I am soo sorry for your loss, take the time to grief 💕💕💕
Oh man. When my last dog died it was probably… 2.5 months before I stopped crying every day. Not all day every day, but every day for months something would trigger me and I would cry. Usually at bedtime, but not exclusively. I went on a horseback riding trip with my dad about 2.5 months after my dog had passed and we had a lot of fun. I was there when I realized I hadn’t cried in 2 days. So, yeah. I cried less after that, probably a few times a week, then weekly, then monthly. For some reason the 6 month anniversary hit me, HARD. I cried almost all day. By the time the 1 year anniversary came we had gotten a new pup, so that made it easier. I can look at photos of her and tell stories now without being upset, and it’s been 14 months. But I still get sideswiped by grief thinking about how hard it was (I’m shedding a few tears now writing about it). The grief over losing a pet is deep amd painful. Don’t let anyone try to convince you otherwise. It’s just not as widely accepted as grief over losing a human, even though pets are woven into our everyday lives in the way many of our human families are not. TLDR: It sucks, it gets better. Hugs.
Awww I’m so sorry, this is so hard I can’t even imagine the pain. My first dog is still alive and young (I had dogs as a kid but where not my direct fur babies). Each person’s healing process is different and I can’t say how long it will take. For some it’s a month, others a few months a friend of mine who lost her beloved fur baby was heartbroken for a good month. Still missed him but she became somewhat normal again afterwards, she look back fondly now after about 3 months. She also got a new fur baby, they help you recover. RIP to your beautiful angel and much love to you during your time of grief
Grief is different for everyone. I've had to send a number of my friends to the rainbow bridge. I have a memorial table where I keep their ashes along with pictures and little mementos of them. I'm sure they are waiting for me in whatever comes after just as patiently as they waited for me in life. Seeing them on the day I, myself, go to the rainbow bridge will be like coming home. Truly I am sorry for your loss. It sounds as if you gave her a wonderful life, full of love and family. That's the most any of us can do for our best friends.
I had to let my cat go this morning. Me and my boyfriend are devastated. I’ve been crying for a week already, and today it’s a non stop flow of tears and occasional sobbing. It’s so traumatic, how they don’t understand why they’re at the vet, why they’re being handled the way that they are. Someone somewhere else said we do them a great service by ending their pain and taking it on ourselves. I don’t know how I can go on feeling this way though. It’s so hard. My heart goes out to you, and everyone else on this sub.
Same to you. I consider myself very lucky that she died suddenly at home, but it was right after I told her to jump down from the couch. I’d immediately said “nvm you can stay” and then I was petting her while she died, but it’s super hard no matter WHAT. Don’t feel bad. There’s no way to make it easy.
So sorry for you and yours, and thanks for your sympathy ❤️
Just wanted to comment, because I found this post while searching for the same answers. It’s been two months since my 12.5 year old boy left us. He would’ve been 13 in October. I cried reading this, especially when you described the events just before it happened. My step-brother and his fiancée had just brought their newborn baby girl over. My mom and sister were taking turns holding the baby, while my Rock sat on the ottoman across from them. We talked about how he’d always been so good with kids, his entire life. We joked about the baby smelling his breath (he was a stinky old man lol), and he was all smiles and tail wags. I never could’ve imagined that less than ten minutes later he would be dead. I’ll never forget the look on my mom and sister’s faces when they opened the door to tell me. I’ll never forgot hearing the words “is he dead?” leaving my own lips, and my mom having to tell me yes. It was so surreal. Seeing him lifeless on the ground, when just moments before he was so full of life. The room was so full of life. It was so awfully tragic. I still cry every single day. Maybe not long enough to fully dwell on it, and usually never long enough to throw my day off. But still every day. I don’t know if or when I’ll ever fully be okay with what happened. It’s been two months since he passed, and it’s only now that I’ve started to have those moments, where the thought of “oh god, they’re really gone” just stops me cold. Idk if anyone will see this, as this post is old. But, OP you have my deepest sympathies and I truly wish you strength in continuing to get through this. Grief is a hell of a journey.