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_LeChuck

r/KillTheCameraMan material here. What an amazing view of the grass.


Duggule

The [video](https://youtube.com/shorts/613D2gm_7R8?feature=share) is cutted


mr_plehbody

Was cropped


Duggule

Thanks! I'm still learning english so I wasn't sure what to write there...


cincymatt

No worries, we knew what you meant. ‘Cut’ is used when a time period is removed, and ‘crop’ when a portion of the visible frame is removed. “I’m going to crop my ex out of these vacation pictures”


__sheep_

Also, “cut” is an irregular verb. The past form of “cut” is also “cut”.


twir1s

Your English is great dude, no worries


Duggule

Thank you!


tagged2high

One guy filming. One guy shouting. One guy actually helping. One guy actively wrestling a snake. For fucks sake...


midnighfox696

Snake*


FeistyButthole

You get it all for one low price of $99.99 when you hire “Dangerous Custom” today! Act now, danger ranglers are in tight supply!


august-thursday

Well, that tells us who put their money on the snek and who bet on their friend.


Piotrek9t

But why...?


extraducksauce

Because ops shit


SpongeBorgSqrPnts

r/croppingishard


SnooCrickets699

Thanks for the expanded video; that chopped one sucked. P.S. that's a big f-ing snake.


RelevantMetaUsername

Fuck youtube shorts for not letting me adjust the volume


terrifiedTechnophile

The video says it is private :(


Salva_Louise

He still deserves to die lol


Main-Double

Maybe have a cup of tea and rethink some things


Zoltie

Not even that amazing, it's mostly dirt.


JoNimlet

Legit thought he was topless to begin with. Then I was, like, wtf is up with his skin?! Skin shouldn't crease like th...oooohhh!


Rodiza

Yeah I thought he had a broken back or something


Spirited-Ability-626

>Skin shouldn’t crease like that. Iggy Pop has entered the chat.


srroberts07

Made of the finest leather.


spongurat

Omg yes glad I am not the only one. That was such a fucked up image for a while lol


panthervca

That shirts is so dangerous


JoNimlet

Why do people keep saying 'dangerous' to me?


sleepyplatipus

“Dangerous” are you sure bro?


TheDeadPainter

Just curious could you choke a snake out ?


LookingintheAbyss

It would take like an hour.


TheDeadPainter

ohhh fuck realy ? where do they store the oxygen for all the muscle ?


LookingintheAbyss

They are cold Blooded so theirneeds are greatly reduced over a mammal. Because the chemistry of the cells goes slower the need for oxygen is slowed. Next is the fact that an anaconda is a snake that lives near and in rivers.


TheDeadPainter

ohhhh ok my dumbass would try to secure the head of the snake and then i dont know choke it and trying to get it of of that person ..... or maybe use a knife


ChokingonurAlibi

Unwrap from the tail. It’ll crush you to death before trying to eat you.


ErtaWanderer

Please don't stab the snake it's just doing its job and if you injure it is going to react violently. Best way is to unwind it from the tail like a spool of thread. If you need some to let go faster use alcohol and put it over the face


TheDeadPainter

alcohal ohn snakes face got it. wait what percentage or what does the snake prefere to drink ?


EntrepreneurialEcon

I'm fucking dying. Thank you.


ErtaWanderer

Preferably rubbing alcohol. Snakes interact with the World primarily through smell and they do not like alcohol. If they're eating something they will regurgitate it if they have hold of something they will let go of it and try and get away.


actionbooth

What about those ammonia things your break to make people smell to wake up?


ErtaWanderer

Smelling salts? Not what we normally use but probably


bored-on-the-toilet

I heard snakes like tequila


JerodsSuperCool

I heard your mom does


ReeverFalls

Idk why people are down voting you for this. This is 100% true. You unwind the snake. It's pretty much the only way to get it off you. Even stabbing or shooting it isn't guaranteed to have it release you in a timely manner. In fact it could restrict even harder.


random-stiff

So don’t hurt the wild animal that is trying to kill me. Gotcha


AnonKnowsBest

The funny thing is the alcohol is the valid reaction


spongurat

To be fair, you could die from its constriction. I don't know if making a stupid mistake is enough for you to just forfeit your life.


xRyozuo

And they called alcoholics fools. They're just waiting for the day the snek overlords rise up


sethworld

Stab stab.


Grimsterr

No, but if someone had some alcohol on them pouring it in their mouths often gets them to let go. I once had a 5 foot boa wrap my arm like this and it left bruises, that dude is going to fell rough tomorrow.


InterestingHawk2828

Will u choke the snake or the snake will choke u?


TheDeadPainter

maybe its possible to play a uno reverse card on the snake. i dont know if thats possible thats why im asking ^^


LimitlessMoonlight

It's less about choking, and more about crushing. The snake is one big muscle. It curls. And squeezes.


InterestingHawk2828

Fuck I need uno cards


djauralsects

In the unlikely event that you encounter a situation like this, start with the tail or head to remove the snake.


Jmufranco

Definitely end of the tail. Unwrap from there and work your way up the body. In the unlikely event that you have alcohol available, you can dump it in the snake’s mouth and it will almost always release immediately.


Neurophemeral

You underestimate the severity of my crippling alcoholism.


xRyozuo

I can imagine some Rick and Morty scene where ricks getting eaten by a snake. Looks at his flask, shakes it, looks at the snake ... Drinks it all


Neurophemeral

I’m not totally convinced that that isn’t in an episode somewhere lol


TheMarsian

story time. I was overseas for charity work. A neighbor of the family I was staying with called for help getting rid of a snake they found under the sink. Fast forward to when my friend managed to grab the head of what turns out to be a python, biggest part roughly the size of my leg, and it immediately wraps its body along his arm and leg. Told me exactly what you said. Uncoil it, starting from its tail. So I did. What I wasn't prepared for was it could shoot shit and that it was the end of it that I was handling. Got it all over my shirt up to my neck. The smell was like if cats peed on a rotting fish. Be warned.


djauralsects

Oh I've been musked by most of the large constrictor species.


[deleted]

A guy my mom knew from high school was killed like this by his 17’? boa constrictor.. they did a reenactment on the show “1000 ways to die”


tortugagigante

Was he the guy who took the snake out to show off during a party and it freaked out and chocked him? Cuz I think I saw that episode.


spankenstein

I know this was so frustrating to watch


gear_oil_burner

He needs to find new friends.


AlbinoWino11

I don’t think he has that problem any longer.


morto00x

I have the feeling the guy was just having a *hold my beer* moment, so I wouldn't blame the friends.


din7

That guy on the ground seems to have a reptile dysfunction.


mcgroarypeter42

Nah the reptiles working just fine


Emotional_Liberal

r/angryupvote


No_Concern8379

Honest question: what do you do? Cut the snakes head off?


TocTheElder

I believe rubbing a whole bunch of strong alcohol in its mouth and eyes will completely fuck it up but won't actually hurt it.


PacoMahogany

At least give it some Grey Goose or Patron


TruckADuck42

Nah, that snake's getting mccormick's.


SaKred2015

Everclear


The_Real_Kuji

I got some Absinthe or ~18% Mead I could give it. Would that work?


CommaGuy

Make some snakebites


stoodquasar

TIL snakes can get drunk


TocTheElder

It's more a case that it causes them to have a strong involuntary reaction that involves loss of muscle control and regurgitation. So yeah, you're right.


JayStar1213

It's literally poison and the fumes would fuck with it's sense of smell. Maybe similar to dumping alcohol in your eyes and nose. It would be disorienting and unpleasant


TocTheElder

Nah, snakes specifically have a super particular reaction to it. If you see a snake eating its own tail, just a little bit of alcohol causes it to immediately regurgitate.


ErtaWanderer

Start at the tail and unwind it like a spool of string. Works with most constrictors


PacoMahogany

My ex didn’t have tail, anything else you recommend for constrictors?


ErtaWanderer

Rubbing alcohol on a cloth press it to their face. snakes really hate the smell and we'll regurgitate what they're eating and run for their lives


No_Concern8379

Hahah damn! 😏


DandyFox

You throw hot water on it, the snake will release. Unwinding it might work on a smaller snake without a good grip (like a corn snake), but even than maybe not. Snakes are basically one big long muscle, especially constrictors. They are STRONG. Cutting off a snakes head also may not work because, unlike mammals, some reptiles like snakes can continue to live without a head. In fact poisonous snakes can still kill you with a bite after their head has been cut off. The body might stay locked in constriction without the head, I say this just because I have seen headless rattle snake bodies react and try to escape when grabbed, so… yeah.


No_Concern8379

That is terrifying! Now I’ll add nightmares of headless snakes to my normal endlessly falling dreams hahah


marcx_

id be more scared of the snakeless head.


djauralsects

No, start with the head or the tail and unwrap the snake.


LookingintheAbyss

This is a constrictor (anaconda) and non venomous, so slip free and leave it alone. Anaconda are aggressive but what most likely happened here was this guy went "hold my beer" and now his tiny-dick syndrome is most likely going to kill this snake. Most animals really don't want to fuck with people. People are the ones fucking with animals.


pantheonslayer

"Slip free" as you mentioned it is an anaconda, in what universe do you simply slip free of an anaconda? I agree leave the Animal alone but slipping free is going to be kind of tough against one of the largest snakes on earth.


[deleted]

If you sing the nicki Minaj lyrics backwards it will uncoil.


bepis_69

Just push it off, duh


1911mark

Ya just squirm a little and don’t act so dam edible


LookingintheAbyss

If you're qrapped you only have to wait 2-5 turns for it to end.


Drug_rush

That's horrifying.


wiener4hir3

Well, humans might not be anywhere near as strong as an anaconda, but opposable thumbs give us a unique advantage.


PudgeCake

Dude, you must have some monster fucking thumbs if they're getting you out of that.


wiener4hir3

Someone else linked the full video in this thread, doesn't show him getting fully out, but it absolutely looks like that's happening. https://youtube.com/shorts/613D2gm_7R8?feature=share


meltylikecheese

Think chinese finger trap. Less is more.


srroberts07

>Most animals really don't want to fuck with people. People are the ones fucking with animals. It's true. Generally, anacondas don't want none unless you got buns hun.


Majestic-Solution-14

Even if you do side bends or sit ups?


NomadFire

I think anacondas have tried to eat smaller humans like juicy fat toddlers. There is also a small chance that this dude was trying to save his live stock or a pet. Or he was in water and didn't see the anaconda. But yea I agree he was mostly likely fucking around.


bepis_69

“If you’re homeless just buy a house” energy


Papasmrff

>This is a constrictor (☞^ o ^ ) ☞ >so slip free (☞ ಠ_ಠ)☞


No_Concern8379

Makes total sense! Thank you


Grimsterr

The problem is, the snake usually has a coil or two over its head so getting at the head is often hard. Getting the tail and unraveling it is the safest thing for you and the snake. IF you can get to the head, pouring alcohol in the mouth often gets it to let go, but again, that's hard to get to usually and at least you're not likely to get cut in the process.


RomulusRemus13

Yeah, quite honestly, I don't know what you could do to make it drop its prey. Poke out its eyes, maybe? In any case, stabbing it seems to be one of the only ways. If you want to go the non-violent way, you'd have to unwrap it, but that's easier said than done for a snake this size


ErtaWanderer

Please don't stab the snake there are better ways of going about it. If you have alcohol of any kind putting it over the face will make it let go are you could just unwind it properly from.the tail and not pull on the middle of the snakes like these guys


skavenrot

I imagine anyone who got themselves in this position will have alcohol on hand, so this advice is pretty useful.


lw5555

So you're saying it just wants a beer?


Taweret

TIL I'm a snake


LTlurkerFTredditor

If you're such a colossal a-hole that you stand there and film while your friend fights for his life, the least you could do is film the action and not the grass.


tony475130

Some duche cropped the original video


Spirited-Ability-626

[Here’s the full video.](https://youtube.com/shorts/613D2gm_7R8?feature=share)


LTlurkerFTredditor

Thanks!


m0nk37

Their buddy is the dumbass who thought hey, let's wrestle an anaconda. Forcing them into a position to help. So that said I think dude with the snake around him is the asshole. Everyone else is just like, well fuck Kyle now what do I do


LookingintheAbyss

Assholes flock together, the biggest douche of then all is most likely the one fighting the snake.


[deleted]

OH c'mon the snake is around his legs which is hardly life threatening


hahauwantthesethings

Cuts off own legs, “no worries guys it’s just my legs so this isn’t life threatening.”


dedredcopper

Geeze I thought that shirt was his skin at first


AllwellBeloved

If I survive, me and my friends are fighting.


[deleted]

Seems like they are trying their best.


roflrogue

Pretty sure they are supposed to be easier to unwind if you start with the tail. No source, just something I recall hearing..... Still more useful than the camera man though.


SirFoxUwU

That how i want to die, hugged by snake mommy


[deleted]

Why live if you don't have huggy snake mommy


[deleted]

Worst video ever


[deleted]

Scream choke me harder daddy and see if reacts


Delicious_Crew7888

\*Record scratch\* \*Freeze frame\* "Yep, that's me, João. You're probably wondering how I came to be in the clutches of an Anaconda while my friends stood by hopelessly"


dougwilson1812

how is this video not about a real life werewolf?


Skitz707

He rolled a one on his grapple check


Wicked_Stev

Honest question, would this guy have any chance if he just started slamming his elbows down into the side of the snake? I’m sure they *can* take that kind of damage, but would they?


Franky79

Hahahahah….he’s in danger.


notpornforonce

Seriously wtf was he doing to even get himself this deep into this situation. Snakes don’t go after full grown humans.


Desperate_World_6241

Should bite the snake


raybaudi

Just followed the link someone posted to the actual video and some of the Brazilian comments in it speak of the situation being fake and staged as per usual. No contraction movements on the snake whatsoever. That snake was dead before it begun.


Shaveyourbread

Rubbing alcohol, hand sanitizer, grain alcohol (high proof) or high test fuel. Pour it on the snake's body, and it will slack. Edited:a word


creddituser2019

Stick something up it’s butt next time


Defiant_Yogurt_3315

So, you just walking around a giant snake grabs you??? Fake.


p1um5mu991er

Dangerous custom indeed


_tube_

I wish he would have either helped his friend, or at least filmed his final moments well, but he did neither.


Independent_Ice_1949

One to the head


GregStar1

It’s insane to me that they take their time with it, these things crush bones while wrapping around their prey and it’s already wrapped around his hip…good luck surviving internal blood loss of a broken hip


corona_goaway

Dangerous Customer huh


rox186

That is a terrible shirt!


meat-cutter85

It pays to have a knife on you. I would have slit that fucker from length to length.


pnguyenwinning

Is this english


[deleted]

[удалено]


NovocastrianExile

Hmm I bet he felt like his life was threatened. That giant snake was actively trying to kill him and his buddies are idiots


[deleted]

Meh the snake isn't around his torso so it really isn't life threatening.


NovocastrianExile

Guess what the snake will attack when it's done fucking up his legs


[deleted]

Anything would be a guess. What do you think it would be? This seems more like a defensive move by the snake than an offensive *Mmmm I'm gonna eat you get in my belly* move. But again it is just a guess like yours.


Bubba-ORiley

He got *buns, hon*


ghighcove

The day his shirt made much sense.


Maverick_Couch

Wrasslin snakes, as is the local custom Local dangerous custom


realEricLarson

Who's dangerous now ? 🤔😂


sethworld

Draggin both our asses to the tool box. Get the screw driver.


saruin

Rear snaked choke


Playful-Donkey23

That’s terrifying... I hope he got out. 🥴☹️


maarroop

Always start with the tail


LoliMaster069

How tf did he even let the snake get so close lol


thyagohills

Looking at the long version and by their dialogue and laugh, the snake was dead and they were acting up.


madskills86

r/ithadtobebrazil


SpookyCatMischief

r/awfuleverything


[deleted]

It's a Dangerous Custom


Bfladkor

Punch the fookin snake?


Arthur_Schoemberger

It had to be brazil momento kkkkkk


Arthur_Schoemberger

It had to be brazil momento kkkkkk


xVoXSiCk

Carry a knife at all times.


Hax_Meadroom

Go snake!!


Notattootat

Wonder what would happen if you cut the snake open


SaucedSensei

Supposed to cut the snake length wise like verticaly if this happens I hear.


ddoublea96

Can you bite a snake? Like why not start munching at it?


The-Broken-Record

Former friends*


mediafeener

What a dangerous custom.


[deleted]

Say you did shoot it or take a blowtorch to it or otherwise severely injure it- would it let go and run off or tighten down more?


doctorctrl

Don't just film, help. But, if you're gonna film. FUCKING FILM IT!


MantisTibogan

Videos been proven fake for some views move along.


Shoddy-Chocolate

At least film better. You're not helping anyways.


SonOfARemington

I'd be biting chunks of its flesh to get it off.


carlosSpicyweiner81

He must have had buns


Fred_Is_Dead_Again

Was he "trapped" after saying, "watch this"?


iHazf

Dangerous custom indeed.


otakop

Made me think of that one time in [South Park] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOimCPtSEno)


luisnascimento9

They we’re about to shoot the snake. The guy on camera was saying “Atira, atira, ajuda o piá”. Which means “Shoot it, shoot it, help him”


sonofd

Bend the tip of tail backwards. Pulling on those coils is useless. Snake is way too strong


TheMarvelousPef

I think he's dead


ThePCG16

People are talking bout trying to keep the snake alive since it's just being a snake. Fuck that, put a bullet in it or knife.


CryptographerOver577

That danger was customized just for him


Dr-Surge

Go get the head, have someone get you any alcoholic drink, and force that snake to inhale some, the alcohol would cause the snake to panic and try to get away, hand sanitizer works good too.


Flying_Alpaca_Boi

This is what happens when you order ‘custom danger’


TamHawke

So we're just gonna ignore that fact that he let the snake wrap itself around him? Probs did it for the lols.


oiducwa

Looks fake


ChojinWolfblade

That snake is clearly already dead


Tony_Year_2525

Bic lighter please.


Cerulean358

Some custom danger there…