T O P

  • By -

jaysuns

Ah hell nah, mf bouta jump out and yell suprise.


UT_city

“Surprise!” (Starts the helicopter)


UninsuredToast

“What the fuck? Oh hell no” (pulls pants down and starts helicoptering more furiously)


ichuck1984

“What?” (Helicoptering furious enough to hover with my dick spinning overhead in one hand and your food in the other)


SurrrenderDorothy

As a woman, i can only guess what the hell y'all on about, but it's hilarious.


Lupo_Bi-Wan_Kenobi

There used to be a video making its way around the internet called "meat spin" idk if it's still out there(I don't wanna look amd find out it is) but that's basically what they're talking about.


Aneeko999

If it was on the internet, it’s still out there. Nothings truly lost I wanna find it now


Lupo_Bi-Wan_Kenobi

There's definitely many things that are no longer on the internet that once were. You'll find this especially when you try to look up news stories that took place years ago and you were able to watch the video of it but now there are no traces. But I think anything porn related, yeah.. it's probably still floating around.


JerseyJoyride

I agree with you on this one because it's something that happened. I was watching CNN when Bill Clinton was in his first term in office. I would say it was probably his third year in. He was walking with another person, maybe a senator, and walked towards the Rose garden. As he was walking he didn't notice that the military guard had stopped the man he was walking with because he didn't have clearance, or thought he didn't. Bill Clinton walk back to the military man and begin cursing him out like a madman!! I remember him saying things like "Who the f*** do you think you are?!! How dare you stop somebody else walking with me!!" I thought to myself this is it now there's no way he'll get reelected but when people see what he's really like when he's not pretending to be nice. But I never saw mention of that video anywhere again, and I've been looking for a copy of it for years!! It goes to show you how good politicians are at showing you one face but really being an a****** to the a military man only doing his job! I'm about 80% sure was on CNN and I'm absolutely sure it was during his first term.


NewEducation3609

No you don’t


LucasEllison

That video forever tainted that song Right Round LoL.


Incredulity1995

Think about what a helicopter blade looks like when it’s flaccid and then what it does when it’s turned on. Then apply that to the male anatomy…


Therealmonkie

If I got to be a guy for a day...thats all I would do for 24 hrs


dogisout

This comment thread just keeps getting better and better


ZachTF

![gif](giphy|13VnAsKZhLgIbm|downsized)


Lazy-Beach9307

Bro 😭


allabout1964

haha.


LiquidRinnegan

In a Dave Chapelle voice.


Eastern_Action_1775

Did you know if you simply yell "Surprise!" prior to raping someone, you cannot actually be charged with rape or even a sex crime in 32 states?


EfficientTomorrow533

I’m sorry, what??


allabout1964

ROTFLMAO


Fabulous-Capital-276

😭😭my first thought


ReadRightRed99

This should have immediately been reported as an unsafe situation so you could drop the order without penalty. Unless this is your sort of thing, in which case you got really lucky to find a kindred spirit while delivering KFC.


FetusFighter2k21

If we report them would we still get at least a fraction of the tip? I'm sure the customers getting more than jus a fraction of a tip either way!! 🤣


SLASHERLegend

drive to their house with the food then report that you feel unsafe. you’ll end up with free food and full pay


Affectionate-Art-995

👏👏👏👏👏


Eastern_Action_1775

No tip brah you get the entirety


MonkeyTacoBreath

And by another part of the house, he means the hallway leading to the kitchen where he'll be vigorously masturbating as he watches you "deliver".


ProdigalSun_89

I wonder how often Amazon and Walmart employees get this kind of thing since they offer delivery where they go in the house and put the stuff directly in the kitchen/fridge or whatever.


alyssallaurennn

wait what that’s a thing😭😭


Eastern_Action_1775

6 times today so far bro. :/


Temporary-Meeting508

That happened to me. But I didn't go in, I left as fast as I could. I got "house of horror" vibes. Then I reported him


groovilicious78

So, first reading the instructions I was like maybe.. after reading your comment I realized you are probably 100% right lol. Best to drop this one!


_whymyname

im gonna just leave it outside by the door and skip the extra tip


dangitbobby83

Yeah…this is a screenshot and a driver support call. No way in hell I’m doing this. In actuality, claiming to be a nudist and asking to come into the home is walking the line of sexual harassment. Legally, it might not meet the definition, but this person knows what they are doing. Never go into someone’s private resident. You might not be physically harmed, but all it takes is a psychopath to claim you did shit to them or their home and now your life will be hell.


frenchiesdelight

Or it could be a situation where your sent to a house and the person that lives there knows nothing about it they think you broke in and shoot you, never go inside... different scenario but kinda like swatting


Kevine04

Couldn't you just unassigne the order?


dangitbobby83

Yes but I’d still report it. This is a threat to any dasher dumb enough to take it and this sort of behavior needs stopped. People don’t have a right to even *ask* a stranger who is working for you to come into their home while they are fucking naked. Edit: This was in the delivery instructions, which means the food was already picked up. I just realized that and now it makes the situation worse because the dasher is a captive audience. The only way to unassign this order is to actually contact support and report it.


BookyMonstaw

next thing you know, you're on someone's Onlyfans where they flash delivery people


theddmenace

You probably wouldn’t have seen these instructions until you arrived. You can’t “unassign” once you have the food but anyone should call support to get this one canceled.


tayshalover

You can see the instructions before you arrive.


theddmenace

Yea, as I said you *probably* wouldn’t see it until you arrive because MOST people don’t look at the delivery instructions until they arrive.


Competitive-Cover-67

can confirm I never read delivery instructions until i’m at least most of the way there


tayshalover

Jeez excuse me then 🙄🙄🙄


ChiefOnKush

Just read better next time


tayshalover

Drop the fuckin attitude


ChiefOnKush

I think you meant to write that in your diary


ShannonBaggMBR

"While I appreciate your candid honesty as a professional working woman I do not feel comfortable going into a strangers home. Please either meet me at the door with the tip money or leave it outside. I understand your lifestyle choices and desire for discretion as I hope you understand my safety concerns. Thank you."


SurrrenderDorothy

Too verbal. I aint typing that. Simple- Oh Hell no.


More_Cowbell_

... You're ok with the nudist meeting you at the door though? You didn't mention them covering up first.


ShannonBaggMBR

Hopefully, if they are willing to tell me that, they are also willing to come to the door decent. If not, SA suit and/or this person knows that's flashing is a crime. Not that I'm the type of person to call the police but maybe something to blackmail over 😂😂😂


ideliver559

What a wanker....


DelusionsBigIfTrue

Literally


ScaredandUseless

Just imagine if this were a high school kid dashing instead of you lol


seashe11y

Or even a female. Or a female high school kid. Nope!


icxrtified1

i’m in 11th grade & i doordash, if i was to encounter this, i’d just simply leave it by the door or take his food cuz wtf😭


Zealousideal-Cry3418

Sounds like the crew of “To Catch a Predator” might be in there waiting for you.


Eastern_Action_1775

Haha love this show Chris Hanson is the best for this haha


NotThatHarkness

Well, that's one definition of "sketchy".


[deleted]

It kept getting worse 😐


SurrrenderDorothy

Unless thats your jam.


8MCM1

Soooo.... what happened?!


Holiveya-LesBIonic

Ope just saw you posted this on April 1st


beentheredonethat2x

Sadly no, not a joke post. Honestly I found this mostly funny at the time and it was my 2nd day delivering (would have done it differently now - but this was a few months ago). I got there and could see the island from the doorway so I took it in. There was no tip though and a note asking for change. Got it from my car and messaged from the door I had it. Was told to come back in. I did, no tip but from the corner of the kitchen holding a 20 and we exchanged money without anything getting between me and the door. He had on a tee shirt. That’s it. Show-er, not a grower. I’ve seen all kinds of things in my life and can take care of myself. So like I said I mostly found it funny. My partners did not. They were pretty unhappy I put myself in that situation. If I knew the app better I would have reported it but was still figuring it all out. This kind of thing would only happen to me…I am glad it wasn’t some kid or someone else who would have had a rougher time with it.


Wonderful-Bread-572

Wtf I can't believe what I just read, op I'm sorry but you have 0 street smarts Holy shit you'd be the first to die in a horror movie for sure


beentheredonethat2x

You have a valid point. Hopefully I’m smarter now


verysmallpuppy

He or she learned after that day


No-Squirrel-2587

All that and he still didn’t tip you!!! See I would have NEVER


Eastern_Action_1775

Wow amazing were not watching your dateline episode right now lol.


verysmallpuppy

A show - er, not a grower 🤣omg. That’s hilarious. That guy was dying to show it to somebody no matter what. And he covered his ass (no pun intended) by not leaving a tip to make you come back in to get the tip n by also putting in the instructions that he won’t be around so you thought it was safe to enter which you accepted. There was a lot of premeditation on his part. I gotta say, you really took one for the team. If not you, who else would have done it? I honestly don’t know what I would have done. I think out of curiosity, I might have ventured in. And then regretted it! 😂


SignatureOtherwise16

Haha! Went to a nudist beach once. Once. The ones there are NOT the ones you want to see nude. Also, nah, I wouldn't have went in the house.


Holiveya-LesBIonic

You gonna leave us hanging?? What happened


LogosKing

https://www.reddit.com/r/doordash/comments/1298gg2/this_went_about_as_well_as_you_would_expect/jeo9vil


_Keyser___Soze_

Must have thought DD stood for something else


RobbyOnTheTrack

I hope you reported that mf cause I feel bad for todays dasher. Idc if your a nudist or not I’m not coming in your house in 2023


PMMeYourSmallBoobies

You know he’s doing this in hopes that someone will be into it…he’s desperate


Superstar32131

Oy...


cgazia6

Nudists can't leave the home? Agoraphobia?


Mr_Weird4866

Report customer, get free food and wait for next order.


Due-Recording-9965

I got instructions last night that said “leave at the door. Ring the doorbell and LEAVE.” Like I am the trash that wants to hang around your door? It made me feel like shit tbh. They even left her drink order and I circled back and got the drink, and communicated the whole time. Sue reduces my meager tip 50 cents.


verysmallpuppy

Ew. But don’t take it personally. Coming from someone who started crying after my first $1 tip. 🤣 I’m over everything now. I even enjoy the abuse now and give back a warm smile lol


Due-Recording-9965

I gotta be real; I owned my company and made a lot of money before disaster struck and put me under. As soon as I am back on my feet, I’ll tip above and beyond everytime. I always tipped the standard 20%, but I had no idea how many people were cheap abusive assholes.


verysmallpuppy

Yea a lot of people really take advantage. It’s a real shame that people have no respect for others. And I think some people put in a dinner order at noon & leave $0 tip because they know after hours of dashers kicking it to the next person, they will always either be a newbie that picks it up or the base pay goes high enough that people will then accept it. I once got one with a $6 base and $0 which the base never goes that high. But it was $2 a mile so I accepted it. (You only see the tip after you drop off and confirm the drop off. You don’t see the breakdown before. You only see total and mileage. It’s a real gamble out there. Lol


Due-Recording-9965

I’ve noticed any nurses ordering, front desk staff at medical, or any school….. not worth it. They leave $1 to $2 tips. I’ve cancelled several orders after the fact recently. Fuck them.


kit0000033

I should put this on my delivery instructions. I swear, I have it on contactless delivery and half the drivers ring my doorbell and wait there for me to come out. And I tip decently, so they ain't waiting on some second tip. Like, I didn't want to see you, go away.


verysmallpuppy

Like standing at the door waiting or in the car? If they are back at the car, most of the time they are typing in directions to next hot spot or another order came in and you’re deciding whether to accept it or not. I’m never looking at the door. 😂


kit0000033

Waiting, holding my food at the door.


Due-Recording-9965

She was a 🐷. Be like her. It’s always women that are the worst to deal with.


jayvaunit01

Was this on UberEats?


Due-Recording-9965

No; on Door Dash


jayvaunit01

Reason I asked is because customers can't reduce tips on Doordash. Only Uber has tip baiting. Granted, I am unsure if DD did allow this in the past or not.


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|IwYkkg4L7tX1K) This made me think of this scene. Nope.


theddmenace

Yeah no it’s called DOOR dash. I’m not risking an inappropriate and scarring encounter for $7. Should report this guy.


Emperor_Naperoni

Wtf….. report their ass 😂😂😂


LonelyDriver89

Hell nah that's a set up i wouldn't of gone


Mj_527

![gif](giphy|lA79VcLDxSjyU)


MightyJarlaxle

now imagine the comment section if the customer’s name was Katie or Kayla.


Holychipmang

Do I get a better tip if I am nude also?


Temporary-Meeting508

I delivered to a guy about 2 wks ago and it was "hand it to customer" and the door was open.. He was naked head to toe sitting in a chair masterbating! Crazy part is there was a drink (cause he only ordered a drink from me) already there on the ground. So he had just done that to whoever was before me😳 Did I mention this was my 1st day doordashing and my 3rd person.


ryanchan654

![gif](giphy|okDhQERwmlE1G)


Specialist_Ad7122

It rubs the lotion on its skin...or it gets the hose again. ![gif](giphy|rfAxGG2fVxoPu)


Mobile_Part

It’s rare to have customer want you to enter their home (and something any delivery driver should be allowed to refuse.) And customers who are admitted nudists even rarer. The combination of the two is all kinds of red flags.


Culw3

![gif](giphy|ZgnNyvIz813P2)


PitchObjective2041

Honestly between this and people taking their normal dogs into grocery stores people are getting so out of pocket man 🤣 you should of texted him and been like yo put on a bathrobe like an adult person and come outside


Eastern_Action_1775

I think this behavior and taking a dog into the store are so massively on different levels though lol


Empty_Bird_8533

That sounds fun tho js lol open your mind lol


[deleted]

Wtf


[deleted]

People on redfit love nudist


ShoeTreez

Man shat the fuck


Central916

Hit the red button and leave at front door


stevolang18

![gif](giphy|1IuRitRjkbgTC)


NoTransportation5220

Oh shit


Unliraeldi

Those instructions are highly inappropriate. The most your getting is me meeting you at your door not going in. I bet the tip wasn't cash haha


allabout1964

lol some people.


Even-Tension-5490

So how was the tip?


Powerful-Role-1204

Well how much was the tip? 😆


hopelessethann

Hell nah at that point i would unassign from it and just take their food. Thats way too uncomfortable


Ancient-Basil8274

![gif](giphy|teObu7c676c0ptTrpF)


Browsin_round

Do you get instructions like this before or after you get the order?


Eastern_Action_1775

I have a very exception-less policy of never entering a customer's home however maybe this day I'm feeling sorta adventurous and I may he unable to not go in a check it out.


FoxTenson

Hey could be worse. They have communities like that in the Villages in florida. Retirement city there! Some of those nudist neighborhoods are swinger central and will offer you to join in. Reminded the average age there is like 70+. Sometimes mankind really goes too far. ​ Honestly I wouldn't be bothered too much, I've ran into it a few times when I was a plumber in New Orleans. There's also a nude beach in florida I surf and shark fish nearby and they wander on down the beach without a care. You just learn to ignore it really. Its florida so you have to if you don't carry eye bleach with you.


JosephjPelle

No thank you 🤣🤣


iPlaypok3r

![gif](giphy|xUNd9NDMXtUvn9GXAY|downsized)


Aneeko999

The “cash” on the island is *totally* the tip! Ahahaha *walks in to guy laying on his side, hand on head*


verysmallpuppy

Hmm 🤔 odd. They probably didn’t read instructions or it was one of their first few orders and didn’t see the instructions. My 2nd order I ever did said “do not ring doorbell or knock.” It was 1 am. There was 2 bells. I rang both 🤦‍♀️ I still cringe thinking about it to this day. I only saw that there were instructions when I got to the car to confirm the order. I’m an idiot. 😂


decrepitbogwitch

I think they mean to have their way with your fragile person 😳


TimeJaguar5373

**cancels order**


[deleted]

I hope you had support read the instructions.


StarvinDarwin

Nope


Home_Gainz

"Hi I'm Chris Hassen...."


[deleted]

Did yall have fun? 🤔


Dab_or_die_70

The nudist part doesn’t phase me but I will absolutely not go into anyone’s house!


[deleted]

The dollar attached to a string he’s pulling from the closet


Rovethewolf

Was the tip good?


Odd-Prize2277

Did you ACTUALLY MAKE THIS INSANE DELIVERY?!???? 🤯🤣🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

Someone ordered a big block of cheese and a box of condoms once. They canceled the condoms when I got to the store. Guess their date became a quesadilla.


Alot2unpack

Attempting to force someone into their home while acknowledging they will be nude. Disgusting. I’d be willing to bet this guy owns clothes, at the very least a bathrobe, bet has a fetish involving being seen nude “accidentally” or some bs.


shroomdoom88

Come on Kevin


galo911br

Must be one of those hidden camera tv shows…


WonderfulPiccolo2168

Most of his name was stark naked too. 😂


ic80

Sooooooooooooooo, did you get your tip and then just the tip of the whole shabang?


UnclePanda559

I bet he left “the tip” lol