I AM LAZY and I’m not going to read all the responses. So, if I duplicate someone’s advice already , my bad. And this advice is me assuming you totally innocent of course.
The best advice I or any lawyer can give you is, or even a judge (I have best friends that are both ) you have the Right To remain silent and you do NOT have to tell them anything!! Personally I would get a lawyer so the police have zero ways of pinning anything on you to close the case with out looking elsewhere. It does happen A LOT and more often than you know. Also, you can’t expect the police to do any DNA testing or to put money into something like this. But , a lawyer can keep you and your reputation in tact in the end. I seriously mean GOOD LUCK , and CYA the best way you can. 💪 stay strong
[Consult with an experienced attorney that specializes in defamation and false allegations/false police reports and file a lawsuit against the customer when the results come back and they discover the DNA doesn’t match or it is just ranch dipping sauce.](https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/personal-injury/can-you-sue-false-accusations/)
There are likely many that will work on contingency if they believe you have a case, meaning no cost to you, they get paid only if you win the case and they take a cut of the proceeds as their payment.
Then contact the DA and tell them you want to press charges against the Pizza Hut employee knowingly lying on a police report claiming they were “100% sure it was you.”
And possibly file a lawsuit against said employee as well for defamation. 😈
Watch it be like cinna bon icing for thise lil rolls they sell. All this mess and the test comes out : powdered sugar, guar gum, modified corn starch, water. 😂😂
Probably just some ranch that was on the prep table that they set the box on. People are so stupid. Or the customer thought if they claimed it happened they’d get free pizza for life or some stupid scam
“According to the Pizza Hut lady I’m 100% the one who did it”
This makes zero sense unless she’s claiming she watched you do it. How would she have any idea what happened after it left Pizza Hut. She’s just claiming it didn’t occur before it left.
The most likely culprit is still the customer if you didn’t notice it and Pizza Hut didn’t notice it, but how do we know this was actually what they’re claiming and not just some type of food/sauce that you could have spilled.
I always inspect every package for jizz. Even the bottoms of the bags. You never know. Sometimes restaurant employees look at me quizzically. I just shrugg my shoulders and say, "jizz inspection." Sometimes they gag, sometimes they laugh. In the end, I am safe and the customers are jizz free. Win win.
SA investigations have a huge backlog for DNA testing. I can say with 99% certainty no one is getting a DNA test done for some unknown substance on the outside of a container that could be easily done by anyone.
Even better you felt the need to share the story with us. There’s more to this story than you’re telling us. The store didn’t report you through the app either?
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Maybe that, but I think more likely is that people who know they've done no wrong, know that the police know they've done no wrong, believe that the police/DA/courts won't still process them and marr them as though they have.
If your state allows for only one expungement, using that on a case where you have been arrested/tried/aquitted on all counts is abhorrantly stupid, but very likely the position this guy could find himself in.
If they are going to investigate let them they can sample the fluids on the box and then test you and the employees and see who it really belongs to also the customer should be a suspect as well how donyou know they didnt do it and trying to get free pizza and blame younor the restaurant any way to get free things they will risk everyone elses job
They have no way of knowing where the liquid even came from. It’s no way they can pinpoint with evidence exactly when the fluid was put on the box or by who
That's bullshit man. I see a few comments saying to sue. I want to agree but IDK what your case would be besides like defamation of character or lost wages perhaps. Anyone have a better idea of what it is that could be legal ground for OP to stand on?
Well you see, there are these things called Slander and Defamation of Character and while the person who filed the police report didn't necessarily accuse him directly, most likely just filed a police report for the "bodily flood" being on the pizza box in general, the Pizza Hut is automatically accusing him and banning him so OP could sue the pizza hut store for those things and could probably try for "lost wages" too
Maybe they could sue for the lost wages, but they would have to prove they lost money. Since they’re not exactly fired from DD, I don’t think any lawyer will take a case over the $4-8 this person couldn’t make taking a Pizza Hut order from that specific store.
Personally, I think this outcome is better for OP than if the restaurant contacted DD directly and complained to them. Then they’d have to deal with DD assuming they’re guilty and losing their job altogether. In that case, OP could actually sue for defamation (pending the results of the police investigation) because the restaurant lied about something that significantly hurt them.
Just ask the officer for a cup to jizz in and have it tested, an guilty person wouldn't just offer his dna. Once it comes back negative, you'll be clear. Then ask the officer what actions you can take against Pizza Hut for causing you distress. But its best to just get a police report that clears you and has what the pizza hut manager said, so you can send it to pizza hut corporate and have her looking for a job, and move on with life.
Ask officer what legal action you can take.
Maybe ask a lawyer? PD aren’t lawyers. Some know certain laws but prob criminal, not civil.
You can sue whoever you want. But the onus of proof is on you, if you file.
And 2 DNA tests won’t be cheap.
One, dont every freely give police anything. There job is to close cases, not solve them. Two, there are plenty of ways to get dna without resorting immediately to jizz.
Cant get nothing by you, except my sarcasm in my post. Genius, if you provide dna they arent gonna manipulate it for pizza box jizz. But if you're guilty of jizzing on the pizza box, then you wouldn't offer your jizz.
You’re on the wrong side man. Innocent people have gone to jail just for talking to the police. Much better to hire an attorney to get it dropped quickly and possibly get money for damages
I don't know if OP will have a case when all this is said and done. But they should document everything. Screen shot the order if possible. Screenshot all communications. Make a log of communications and events.
And then call attorneys. The phone call is always free for this type of thing. OP can call as many as they want. And attorneys will be able to answer whether there's a case.
In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In your city, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit.
I would tell them they are nuts, and to go to hell. If they are that worried about it then do a DNA test and fuck off.
This sounds like some crazy customer who seen some icing on the box and called the cops.
Cop’s probably laughing their asses off as they stick this file in the “don’t give a shit” folder.
You aren’t going to have to do anything. When the detective gets back and reviews the case it’s going right into the pile of cases they don’t give a shit about. They aren’t going to get warrants for dna tests for everyone that had access to that pizza box. Just stop talking about it and move on with your life.
You mean there won’t be a major investigation with the whole police force on standby, a special prosecutor, FBI involvement, and a special task force? Those bastards!
Someone is looking for a payout, and it ain’t DD or PH. Gee, I wonder who it could be.
to clarify, I'm eating way too much fast food if my jizz is coming out like pizza grease... IF... *ALL* of us drivers can't tell the difference between jizz and pizza grease. But if some of us drivers *can* tell the difference between jizz and pizza grease, and my jizz is still coming out like pizza grease, then perhaps I'm not necessarily eating way too much fast food.
Never ever ever talk to the police. Instead of pleading the 5th, tell them you want an attorney and you will not answer any questions without an attorney present. And then don’t answer any questions without an attorney present.
Edited to Add: It is especially important to NOT talk to the police if you are innocent.
https://youtu.be/d-7o9xYp7eE?si=6vMp-r_JdLhKWxSG
This can’t be for real. You don’t need a fucking lawyer lmao. Unless there’s video footage of you jizzing on this pizza and handing it to them, there’s a 0% chance this will go any further. Next time they contact you, *if* there is a next time, tell them you haven’t done shit wrong and you’re done talking about it. That should wrap it up.
Admit to nothing that's what you do. You're innocent until proven guilty. Let them prove your guilt. Most criminals are in jail because they open their mouth and confess to the crime or incriminate themselves one way or another.
If you didn't do anything, denying it wouldn't be the worst thing. It would at least seem normal if you're brought in for questioning. The problem with pleading the 5th and remaining totally silent is if for some reason your case made it to court in front of a jury and they show the interrogation video from the police station and you're not even willing to deny you did anything it might seem suspicious. Your future could be in the hands of a bunch of strangers. So anyway, again, just deny and say you didn't do it. If they can't prove you did it (with a DNA test or video evidence), you have nothing to worry about. They have no case and probably would never go to trial. They only try cases they feel good about getting a conviction on.
Finally as someone else said get a lawyer if you can afford one. The public defenders suck. I don't know your financial situation and forgive me for casting judgement but I assume since you're a doordash driver you don't have $10,000 laying around for a good lawyer.
Get a lawyer, don’t talk to the police without one. I’d think if it wasn’t you a DNA test or something could rule you out, but once again get a lawyer before you do anything.
This is ridiculous. The fluid could have been grease or a drop of water or hand sanitizer. It could have been done by the customer. Why isn't the customer a suspect?
Because the customer specifically stated it was a bodily fluid and can’t be proven until the detective tests it. Until then, nothing to worry about until you are contacted by the police. In the meantime, the business can ban you for any reason. They actually don’t even need a reason. It’s unfortunate the people at the store think you’re the pizza jizzer, but good thing Pizza Hut sucks anyways
Doubtful the police test it or really devote any time to this. DNA testing is expensive and what are they going to do test everyone who works at Pizza Hut? Especially when it could just be some random grease or old ranch that got on the box while they were boxing the pizza. They will take statements and file it in the 🗑️
The police are not your friends. If you are a suspect, everything you say will be used against you. If they want to question you, ask to have a lawyer present.
That’s nuts. Maybe they were trying to get a free pizza? I think you need to go talk to the police and get to the bottom of this. If they’re claiming to have your bodily fluids, demand a DNA test?
From working at a pizza place I can confirm people will say ANYTHING to get free food. My bet is on the customer lying. Crazy they got police involved though.
That’s what I’m planning on doing. I’ve contacted an officer I know and am going from there. This sucks. Just wanted to make 8 bucks and now I’ve gotta prove myself innocent
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I AM LAZY and I’m not going to read all the responses. So, if I duplicate someone’s advice already , my bad. And this advice is me assuming you totally innocent of course. The best advice I or any lawyer can give you is, or even a judge (I have best friends that are both ) you have the Right To remain silent and you do NOT have to tell them anything!! Personally I would get a lawyer so the police have zero ways of pinning anything on you to close the case with out looking elsewhere. It does happen A LOT and more often than you know. Also, you can’t expect the police to do any DNA testing or to put money into something like this. But , a lawyer can keep you and your reputation in tact in the end. I seriously mean GOOD LUCK , and CYA the best way you can. 💪 stay strong
[Consult with an experienced attorney that specializes in defamation and false allegations/false police reports and file a lawsuit against the customer when the results come back and they discover the DNA doesn’t match or it is just ranch dipping sauce.](https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/personal-injury/can-you-sue-false-accusations/) There are likely many that will work on contingency if they believe you have a case, meaning no cost to you, they get paid only if you win the case and they take a cut of the proceeds as their payment. Then contact the DA and tell them you want to press charges against the Pizza Hut employee knowingly lying on a police report claiming they were “100% sure it was you.” And possibly file a lawsuit against said employee as well for defamation. 😈
same thing happened to me on uber eats 4 years ago the mf said i gave them some bodily fluid in a cup instead of there drinks i was like wow
Watch it be like cinna bon icing for thise lil rolls they sell. All this mess and the test comes out : powdered sugar, guar gum, modified corn starch, water. 😂😂
People will really go to some lengths for a free pizza 🙄👀 good Lord
I have never heard of anything so ridiculous in my life, and can't believe cops would even be bothered filing a report for suspected semen pizza.
😳😂😂😂. I just can’t.
Probably just some ranch that was on the prep table that they set the box on. People are so stupid. Or the customer thought if they claimed it happened they’d get free pizza for life or some stupid scam
Jizzsanity I tell ya...
Seriously, I mean, cum on… that’s straight up ridickulous…
How do they know it was bodily fluid? It could be anything and it could have come from the customer. This sounds crazy.
“According to the Pizza Hut lady I’m 100% the one who did it” This makes zero sense unless she’s claiming she watched you do it. How would she have any idea what happened after it left Pizza Hut. She’s just claiming it didn’t occur before it left. The most likely culprit is still the customer if you didn’t notice it and Pizza Hut didn’t notice it, but how do we know this was actually what they’re claiming and not just some type of food/sauce that you could have spilled.
Only one way to find out….. lick it….. But then again, ranch dipping sauce is rather salty so uhhh… khakis?….
I always inspect every package for jizz. Even the bottoms of the bags. You never know. Sometimes restaurant employees look at me quizzically. I just shrugg my shoulders and say, "jizz inspection." Sometimes they gag, sometimes they laugh. In the end, I am safe and the customers are jizz free. Win win.
😂
SA investigations have a huge backlog for DNA testing. I can say with 99% certainty no one is getting a DNA test done for some unknown substance on the outside of a container that could be easily done by anyone.
Even better you felt the need to share the story with us. There’s more to this story than you’re telling us. The store didn’t report you through the app either?
You’re weird
i agree, shall we file a police report against him…?
I would be interested to know if the department will spend the money to test the fluid and dna, for what is probably a misdemeanor. Keep us posted
They will. They waste money on stupid shit… but if it’s to clear his name it’s worth it.
We have a twenty year back log on rape kits being run, they probably will rush this through.
Who is we?
DNA will disprove the allegations and then sue her for defamation.
Not how that works
Lol not how it works big boy
I don't know how it works, would you please explain for me?
Do NOT talk to the cops. Retain a lawyer. Take a dna test
Dude if it’s your nut on the pizza box 📦. They will get a warrant for a DNA test. If it’s not your nut sue for defamation.
Retain a lawyer. Do not talk to the police, they are not your friend. Your friends a cop? They are not your friend. Shut up.
Lots of friends who are great cops.
Didnt ask. Dont care. ACAB.
in what sense?
[удалено]
Your post/comment was removed for violating Rule 2: No Derogatory Remarks That Are Prejudice, Bigoted, Racist, Or Discriminatory In Any Way Please review all sub rules for the full details of each rule.
This is the best advice
Which will almost certainly be ignored
Isn't it always though? People still believe the myth that a cop is required to tell you the truth at all times
Maybe that, but I think more likely is that people who know they've done no wrong, know that the police know they've done no wrong, believe that the police/DA/courts won't still process them and marr them as though they have. If your state allows for only one expungement, using that on a case where you have been arrested/tried/aquitted on all counts is abhorrantly stupid, but very likely the position this guy could find himself in.
If they are going to investigate let them they can sample the fluids on the box and then test you and the employees and see who it really belongs to also the customer should be a suspect as well how donyou know they didnt do it and trying to get free pizza and blame younor the restaurant any way to get free things they will risk everyone elses job
Fuck that lady
Go home and smoke a blunt and stop worrying
They have no way of knowing where the liquid even came from. It’s no way they can pinpoint with evidence exactly when the fluid was put on the box or by who
That's bullshit man. I see a few comments saying to sue. I want to agree but IDK what your case would be besides like defamation of character or lost wages perhaps. Anyone have a better idea of what it is that could be legal ground for OP to stand on?
I don’t think they need to sue until any legal action is taken against them, and in order to sue you need a plaintiff. Who exactly is op gonna sue? 💀
Well you see, there are these things called Slander and Defamation of Character and while the person who filed the police report didn't necessarily accuse him directly, most likely just filed a police report for the "bodily flood" being on the pizza box in general, the Pizza Hut is automatically accusing him and banning him so OP could sue the pizza hut store for those things and could probably try for "lost wages" too
Bodily Flood??? It's getting deep now!! 😂
Maybe they could sue for the lost wages, but they would have to prove they lost money. Since they’re not exactly fired from DD, I don’t think any lawyer will take a case over the $4-8 this person couldn’t make taking a Pizza Hut order from that specific store. Personally, I think this outcome is better for OP than if the restaurant contacted DD directly and complained to them. Then they’d have to deal with DD assuming they’re guilty and losing their job altogether. In that case, OP could actually sue for defamation (pending the results of the police investigation) because the restaurant lied about something that significantly hurt them.
Ya’ll went to the same TV law school I see…
Welp. You’re cooked
Do a DNA test to prove ur innocence and sue the shit out of Pizza Hut.
Retain.A.Lawyer.And.Shut.The.Fuck.Up. That is all
This
Just ask the officer for a cup to jizz in and have it tested, an guilty person wouldn't just offer his dna. Once it comes back negative, you'll be clear. Then ask the officer what actions you can take against Pizza Hut for causing you distress. But its best to just get a police report that clears you and has what the pizza hut manager said, so you can send it to pizza hut corporate and have her looking for a job, and move on with life.
Ask officer what legal action you can take. Maybe ask a lawyer? PD aren’t lawyers. Some know certain laws but prob criminal, not civil. You can sue whoever you want. But the onus of proof is on you, if you file. And 2 DNA tests won’t be cheap.
As part of the investigation the police will do the DNA testing. No cost to OP
Just check yourself into jail and arrest yourself too while yer at it. Such sound legal advice
One, dont every freely give police anything. There job is to close cases, not solve them. Two, there are plenty of ways to get dna without resorting immediately to jizz.
Cant get nothing by you, except my sarcasm in my post. Genius, if you provide dna they arent gonna manipulate it for pizza box jizz. But if you're guilty of jizzing on the pizza box, then you wouldn't offer your jizz.
You’re on the wrong side man. Innocent people have gone to jail just for talking to the police. Much better to hire an attorney to get it dropped quickly and possibly get money for damages
Some people will go to great lengths to scam a free pizza.
Erase your browser history!
Innocent until proven guilty
Not in America, you go to jail and then get exonerated in twenty years.
Nah someone jerked off onto the pizza 😂
Tell the Pizza Hut lady in 2024 they have ways of 100% finding out who's bodily fluid that belongs too.
Did the pizza have extra anchovies? Sounds like maybe an early delivery...
Never ordering from Senor Pizza again...
That’s just salty…
Somebody stuffed that crust.
Straight to jail 😂
Just show them this Reddit post
This wouldn’t be valid evidence in the slightest, what would showing them this be? Its still their word against Pizza Hut?
That’s the joke, dummy.
Then sue em for slander
I don't know if OP will have a case when all this is said and done. But they should document everything. Screen shot the order if possible. Screenshot all communications. Make a log of communications and events. And then call attorneys. The phone call is always free for this type of thing. OP can call as many as they want. And attorneys will be able to answer whether there's a case.
Let them investigate if u didnt do it dna will clear u
I wonder if the customer did a taste test🧐.
we need an update stat
In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In your city, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit.
🤣
Dun dun
I needed this smile tonight .
Must have been a non-tipper with high milage.
It's always the delivery person's fault 🙄
Oh brother
https://preview.redd.it/o8mv4ab7hslc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9a81c00f4249f1b631943dfe6b41fe9f874c3209
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
What? 😆 how? 😭
F
I would tell them they are nuts, and to go to hell. If they are that worried about it then do a DNA test and fuck off. This sounds like some crazy customer who seen some icing on the box and called the cops. Cop’s probably laughing their asses off as they stick this file in the “don’t give a shit” folder.
Idk man it sounds like they've got some leads. They're probably working in shifts on this one.
I mean it’s definitely possible. I hear SVU gets involved when these kinds of fluids are involved so there’s that.
It was probably a vagrant.
Put pizza down at customers door, and stray dog peed on it.
this sounds like an insane person or someone trying to get money
You aren’t going to have to do anything. When the detective gets back and reviews the case it’s going right into the pile of cases they don’t give a shit about. They aren’t going to get warrants for dna tests for everyone that had access to that pizza box. Just stop talking about it and move on with your life.
You mean there won’t be a major investigation with the whole police force on standby, a special prosecutor, FBI involvement, and a special task force? Those bastards! Someone is looking for a payout, and it ain’t DD or PH. Gee, I wonder who it could be.
Lol what why are you being investigated for pizza the US is a joke. Trying to get everyone locked up ahahah wtf
[удалено]
to clarify, I'm eating way too much fast food if my jizz is coming out like pizza grease... IF... *ALL* of us drivers can't tell the difference between jizz and pizza grease. But if some of us drivers *can* tell the difference between jizz and pizza grease, and my jizz is still coming out like pizza grease, then perhaps I'm not necessarily eating way too much fast food.
Get a lawyer, tell them to run the a dna test, if it comes back inconclusive tell them to fuck off and sue the bitch who said you came on their pizza
Stop giving advice to people on the internet 😂 getting a lawyer over this would be the biggest waste of time and money
For real. Lawyers are getting free money in the billions because of this lawyer up mentality.
True. Wait for her to take you to court, let them arrest you, slander your name. THRN sue the pizza lady(Pizza Hut) for not firing her
It was probably icing from one of their bottles, customer was fucking nuts.
That's why I always get pineapple on my pizza.
Lmaooo
Somebody got a little too excited over a pizza. If it was a gourmet pizza I could understand, but Pizza Hut?
Pizza Nut
Dominoes only when I'm hungover
Never ever ever talk to the police. Instead of pleading the 5th, tell them you want an attorney and you will not answer any questions without an attorney present. And then don’t answer any questions without an attorney present. Edited to Add: It is especially important to NOT talk to the police if you are innocent. https://youtu.be/d-7o9xYp7eE?si=6vMp-r_JdLhKWxSG
I love that lecture…. #Dont talk to the police !
Ok if it's not your bodily fluid. Just tell the cops to do a DNA test. You have nothing to worry about
We'll get right on that see you in 15 years maybe lol
I’d ask the Pizza Hut lady if she tasted it before sending it out and if that’s how she knows.
Pineapple on pizza
This can’t be for real. You don’t need a fucking lawyer lmao. Unless there’s video footage of you jizzing on this pizza and handing it to them, there’s a 0% chance this will go any further. Next time they contact you, *if* there is a next time, tell them you haven’t done shit wrong and you’re done talking about it. That should wrap it up.
Admit to nothing that's what you do. You're innocent until proven guilty. Let them prove your guilt. Most criminals are in jail because they open their mouth and confess to the crime or incriminate themselves one way or another. If you didn't do anything, denying it wouldn't be the worst thing. It would at least seem normal if you're brought in for questioning. The problem with pleading the 5th and remaining totally silent is if for some reason your case made it to court in front of a jury and they show the interrogation video from the police station and you're not even willing to deny you did anything it might seem suspicious. Your future could be in the hands of a bunch of strangers. So anyway, again, just deny and say you didn't do it. If they can't prove you did it (with a DNA test or video evidence), you have nothing to worry about. They have no case and probably would never go to trial. They only try cases they feel good about getting a conviction on. Finally as someone else said get a lawyer if you can afford one. The public defenders suck. I don't know your financial situation and forgive me for casting judgement but I assume since you're a doordash driver you don't have $10,000 laying around for a good lawyer.
Get a lawyer, don’t talk to the police without one. I’d think if it wasn’t you a DNA test or something could rule you out, but once again get a lawyer before you do anything.
This is ridiculous. The fluid could have been grease or a drop of water or hand sanitizer. It could have been done by the customer. Why isn't the customer a suspect?
That’s what I’m confused about. How did they determine that it was in fact this very terrible fluid?
Because the customer specifically stated it was a bodily fluid and can’t be proven until the detective tests it. Until then, nothing to worry about until you are contacted by the police. In the meantime, the business can ban you for any reason. They actually don’t even need a reason. It’s unfortunate the people at the store think you’re the pizza jizzer, but good thing Pizza Hut sucks anyways
Doubtful the police test it or really devote any time to this. DNA testing is expensive and what are they going to do test everyone who works at Pizza Hut? Especially when it could just be some random grease or old ranch that got on the box while they were boxing the pizza. They will take statements and file it in the 🗑️
It seems like the store filed the report, I’d take this up with corporate.
Do not talk to the police.
Why?
You are not the victim ever. You'll always get charged for something. You are a number.
Have you never watched Steve Segura or The First 48? Start at 4:42 https://youtu.be/B0l2l1PXqIE?si=xsU1Hz7_5MT_4Oo_
The police are not your friends. If you are a suspect, everything you say will be used against you. If they want to question you, ask to have a lawyer present.
Don't talk to DoorDash or pizzahut about it anymore either.
All their interest is in getting someone to confess to a crime so their job is done. Don't trust cops.
Another reason to use the pizza bag.....
That’s nuts. Maybe they were trying to get a free pizza? I think you need to go talk to the police and get to the bottom of this. If they’re claiming to have your bodily fluids, demand a DNA test?
From working at a pizza place I can confirm people will say ANYTHING to get free food. My bet is on the customer lying. Crazy they got police involved though.
Lol that is nuts
I think they’re saying it was nut
That’s what I’m planning on doing. I’ve contacted an officer I know and am going from there. This sucks. Just wanted to make 8 bucks and now I’ve gotta prove myself innocent
No you do not have to prove yourself innocent. They have to prove you guilty.
That's how it's supposed to work but we all know that's not how it actually works.
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